#this is specifically about Faith on btvs

[angelliker]

whatever the fuck these two GIRLS had going on. let the dykes have their fucked up dynamic too!

#specifically about faith and buffy but whos to gatekeep things now #fuffy #btvs

[tuiyla]

the Buffy and Faith innuendos are baiting me, specifically, even though it's been 25 years since these eps aired

#and i was 1 years old #but still baiting me specifically #talking about 3x07 #OH MY GOD just realising how cursed that ep code is for sapphics 😩😩 #faith better not get hurt in this ep #btvs lb #...what's the shipname? asking for a friend

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Sunday, April 14 - Monday, April 15

DAWN: I'm not a child. I'm not even human. Not originally. SPIKE: (sighs) Yeah, well, originally I was. I got over it. Doesn't seem to me it matters very much how you start out. DAWN: That's smart. I get that. (pauses) I like how you talk to me like I can understand things. Everyone else is being all ... twitchy and secretive.

~~Crush~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

PUNK SPUNK by jizzyliz (Good Omens crossover, Spike/Crowley, Explicit)

5h 15m (Nonstop) by belledamn (Giles/Jenny, Giles & Buffy, Jenny & Buffy, T)

Dead Hearts by Geliot99 (Buffy/Spike, M)

Worms in the Earth by TheClowniestLivInExistence (Xander/Angelus/Drusilla, Explicit)

sucker for punishment by CallMeVampy (Giles/Jenny, Explicit)

my thoughts will echo your name (until i see you again) by untiljanuary (Buffy/Spike, Willow, M)

Untitled (Look, do you know anything or not?) by scooby-group-texts (Buffy, Spike, worksafe, posted as an image)

Forget Me Not by cawthraven (Buffy/Spike, R)

Heaven’s Teardrops by VeroNyxK84 (Buffy/Spike, R)

Taste and Temptation by RavenLove12 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

[Chaptered Fiction]

Яблочки и яблони - Chapter 1-7 (COMPLETE!) by B_E_S (Supernatural crossover, Buffy/Angel, Joyce/John, T, in Russian)

If I Could Turn Back Time - Chapter 1-2 by Tropicmorningnews (Buffy/Angel, M)

Я не могу вспомнить - Chapter 1-6 (COMPLETE!) by B_E_S (Buffy/Angel, Explicit, in Russian)

Valkyrie vs. Cordelia - Chapter 1-27 (COMPLETE!) by Nonkosherian (Faith/Willow, OC, Cordelia/Dennis, Lilah/Wesley, T)

Bathroom Wall - Chapter 1 by hulettwyo (Buffy/Spike, Explicit)

Parent Trap - Chapter 1 by Bobbie23 (Giles/Jenny, G)

Poetry in the Margins - Chapter 1 by Anonymous (Spike/OC, Explicit)

In the Dark of the Night - Chapter 1-3 by norik23 (Spike/Buffy, Giles & Spike, Giles & Buffy, Giles/Jenny, Mature)

To Survive I Forged You Like a Weapon, Ch. 1 by cawthraven (Buffy/Spike, NC-17)

[Images, Audio & Video]

New Banner Art #17 by veronyxk84 (Buffy, worksafe)

Drawings: been thinking about the Pjo au lately by pzyii (Percy Jackson and the Olympians fusion, Buffy, Cordelia, Angel, Spike, Anya, Willow, Tara, worksafe)

Robin and Nikki doodles by aa-arttss (worksafe)

Willow by taniaairiarte (worksafe)

I did drawings from the quotes post I did the other week! by BPD-and-Lipstick (worksafe)

Drawings by Fren (LeFrenchUnicorn) (Spike, Buffy, Clem, worksafe)

[Reviews & Recaps]

BTVS/Angel Rewatch Chronicles: Seasons 5/2 [BtVS s5 and AtS s2], Part Three by QualifiedApathetic

Season 6 Favorite moments? by agirlhasnoname17

Help S7 E4 (Buffy and the Art of Story Podcast) - Lisa Lilly

[Community Announcements]

Sign up for Spring 2024 of Seasonal Spuffy! This round will run on LiveJournal and Dreamwidth with the theme "Thanks for the Memories"

[Fandom Discussions]

My most self-indulgent headcanon is that, when Buffy died in The Gift... by coraniaid

ats s5 truly where my pathetic little meow meow men from prior seasons went to die by justafriendofxanders

I do wonder if Wesley would have been less insufferable if... by nicnacsnonsense

Do you think the writers of Season 7's Lessons were thinking about Rupert Giles... by coraniaid (with tags by rachaeljurassic)

One thing each about two [AtS] Season 3 episodes by TelephoneCertain5344

Season 3 thoughts… holtz kind of makes sense… by ukcountrylover

Ways that Buffy could save money by Tuxedo_Mark

[7x18 "Dirty Girls"] Was Caleb referencing something specific when he mentioned Paul? by halyasgirl

Spike and Dawn. by ceecee1909

Does the creature known as a Kennedy fan exist? by danielbrennan6900

Theories on Xander/Cordy not having sex despite dating for a year. by RokToBer26

I can't be the only person who thinks Robin and Giles' plan to get rid of Spike was a good one by cascadingtundra

Was Angel’s budget higher than Buffy? by starsandbribes

Submit a link to be included in the newsletter!

Join the editor team :)

#btvs #buffy the vampire slayer #angel the series

[sspoike]

top 5 btvs outfits?

sorry I took a min to answer this but i take this top 5 so so incredibly seriously, like there’s just so many iconic fits to choose from my mind just started whirring like a laptop fan with all the different options. At this point in time I’m really feeling these 5 guys at the moment (and this top 5 is totally subject to change at any moment bc I love being indecisive)

1. For 1 we’re starting with the Puma Bedazzled halter look!!!! Jaw was on the floor, ESPECIALLY when she turned and made that back reveal. It just has such an It Girl quality like I can barely concentrate on the scene

2. Cordy has so many pretty n preppy looks that I was really having a difficult time landing on one specific, but this one is just so nice on the eyes, and like it’s simple but all the details down to her hair are well tailored and chosen well. Like this is something I would’ve been giddy to wear (and I’m pretty sure I had this outfit on a Pinterest board for fashion well before I ever even watched btvs)

3. I loved LOVED Faiths introduction outfit, I think is really showcases her playful yet dangerous style, plus the sleeves are such a perfect accessory people just don’t wear sleeves like this enough

4. I had to include 70s Spike, it’s just such a show stopping moment all the way down to the duster-origin-reveal at the end. The eyeliner, the safety-pin vest, the piercings, the chain and lock jewelry….those slutty dad jeans he got on…For sure whenever I’m thinking about favorite buffyverse looks this one is always at the forefront

5. Lastly I have to mention Faith’s post-coma Navy monochromatic look. This one really gagged me— I just love that she was on her ‘evil again :)’ shit and decided to put together an incredible outfit to commemorate it. Faith loves her leather pants, but THESE, the gloss just glittering in the light…. and with that dark red lip…. icon icon iiiicon

Again there are so many looks and it pains me that I can’t include them all but these 5 were the ones that popped into my head!!

#btvs outfits #ask response #btvs

[takaraphoenix]

I would never want an actual BtVS reboot.

However, I would really like to see a very specific kind of comic reboot. Not what Boom! Studios did with keeping the faces but bastardizing the plot. Keeping the faces and the core outline and elements of the plot but with one change.

Dawn Summers.

I would really genuinely love to read a comic reboot of the first four seasons featuring Dawn. We keep the plot! No changing storylines or bad guys or any of that nonsense! I want to see how the canon plot unfolds with the addition of Dawn Summers. I want to see the fake timeline created by the monks.

What was Dawn’s relationships with Cordelia? Oz? Jenny? Faith? Angel? Wesley?

We got to see that she wasn’t a big fan of Riley, how did Dawnie act during the early stages of Buffy/Riley, did she give him a particularly hard time?

How did Giles handle a much younger Dawn, considering he already struggled with the teenage version? But a clingy kid who thinks she knows it all...?

When did Dawn learn about Buffy being the Slayer? When Joyce did? Or earlier because she snooped around? Or later because Joyce and Buffy were trying to protect her since she was so young?

I’d never want a regular reboot of this show, at all (especially not one with a recast), because I know how the show went and it is brilliant the way it is. But they did this, they created a whole character and put her smack in the middle of the plot and said “yep everybody thinks she’s been here all along” and I would really love to see these fake memories, I would love to see if Angelus would have gone after Dawn, if Dawn would have been comforting about Angel’s banishment to a hell dimension or if she too would have taken it personally that Buffy left, if she drove Giles absolutely up the wall, if she adored Faith and tried to imitate her and if Faith liked the mini Summers, if storylines would have changed - even if the outcome ought to stay the same since all of this is fake - and unfolded in different ways due to the added character.

I’d really love to read a comic run on that.

#Dawn Summers #Buffy the Vampire Slayer

[faith-thee-slayer]

I guess not a relationship in a romance sense, but in like a paternal/fraternal one, but - talk about Faith and Angel?

i adore them so much. they are best friends. they are brother and sister. they mirror each other in several ways, from the darkness that they both struggle to keep within them, to their tendency to be self-reliant and solitary, to their love for buffy (so many parallels in s3 alone... at this point the idea that faith wasn't meant to be a love interest for buffy is laughable). after faith made several attempts on angel's life, he still decided she was worth saving. she risked everything she was (more or less) working on in jail to save him, risked her life when he went evil. angel wouldn't kill faith when she asked him to, faith wouldn't kill angel when wes asked her to. they have both been the last resort to save each other, and would never give up on each other. idk if you've read the comics, but they end up rooming together in london and working to protect the town and getting into some crazy shit together. after the fallout in los angeles, after the fucked up mess angel got himself into in the s8 comic, faith was the ONLY one who had his back. yup.

i mentioned this before, but i think it's important for faith specifically to have better relationships with men, considering how little respect she shows for them in btvs s3-4. angel is the one guy (possibly ever) that was willing to maintain a platonic friendship with her, that didn't involve using her as a means to an end. and i really think he influenced her perspective going forward (ignoring robin wood for a second, lol... old habits die hard).

both faith and angel are so desperate for a connection with other people, but often think they don't need it or deserve it. so i love that they are both so like-minded and supportive of each other through everything. and of course they have their disagreements here and there, and they certainly had rough beginnings, but they prove time and time again that they'll always have each other's back.

#thank you for sending -- i'm obsessed with them #they are the lesbian and himbo trope to me #faith lehane #angel btvs #buffy the vampire slayer #btvs #angel the series #ats #asks #ship game

[buffydataviz]

BTVS ships episode count review

I was thinking about Buffy's 3 main ships (to me): Bangel v. Spuffy v. Fuffy. I was wondering how many episodes (BTVS or ATS) where each ship has scenes together. Then inspired by these two polls I decided to add in two other non-Buffy ships: Gethan and Spangel.

Kudos to the Fuffy and Gethan shippers, who are working with not a TON of episodes with scenes together. Especially Gethan shippers, who only have 4 canon episodes! To be fair, Spangel fans only had 13 until S5 of ATS.

Summary ship episode count: Spuffy (Spike x Buffy): 71 Bangel (Buffy x Angel): 49 Spangel (Spike x Angel): 35 Fuffy (Faith x Buffy): 21 Gethan (Giles x Ethan): 4

Any blatant negative ship comments, like calling a specific ship indecent will get you blocked. Ship and let ship. Other comments welcome.

Full details under the cut!

What's the Universe? The TV Buffyverse. (BTVS TV or ATS TV eps, the comics and books don’t count.)

How to start? I started with the pre-count. The pre-count is episodes where both characters in the ship appeared.

Spuffy pre-count: 96 (inc. 0 on ATS) Bangel pre-count: 56 (inc. 2 on ATS) Spangel pre-count: 42 (inc. 22 on ATS) Fuffy pre-count: 21 (inc. 1 on ATS) Gethan pre-count: 4 (inc. 0 on ATS)

How to verify? I did not rewatch all the episodes! I rewatched a few, after checking transcripts, recaps, and ship gif pages.

What doesn't count? Someone talking about the other person, because I am not trying to include the various episodes where Faith is haunting the show. They must appear in a scene together for it to count. They must both be fully aware of each other. Shared dreams (like the Fuffy ones) do count, but regular dreams do not. Buffy Bot, Wishverse Buffy, and FirstEvil Buffy do not count. I treated Faith and Buffy as their "mental" selves during the two body swap episode scenes. Also I treated Angel the same as Angelus and soul-less Spike the same as soul-ed Spike.

Notes per Ship...

Spuffy (Spike x Buffy) 71 total S1: 0 / S2: 7 / S3: 1 / S4: 9 / S5: 18 / S6: 17 / S7: 19 / ATS: 0 4x06 Wild At Heart does not count because in the cemetery she is not aware he can hear her speech "to him." 4x16 Who Are You? does not count because Spike encounters Faith in Buffy's body, so I counted that as a Faith-Spike scene. 4x22 Restless also does not count because while he appears in Xander's dream and so does Buffy, this is Xander's dream so neither appearance counts. 5x08 Shadow does not count because he dreams of her, but it's not a shared dream. Bangel (Buffy x Angel) 49 total S1: 6 / S2: 19 / S3: 18 / S4: 1 / S5: 1 / S6: 0 / S7: 2 / ATS: 2 (S1) 3x03 Faith Hope and Trick does not count because when naked Angel appears at the end Buffy has already left. 3x09 The Wish does not count because Wishverse Buffy is not regular Buffy. 4x08 Pangs does not count because Buffy is not aware of him. Spangel (Spike x Angel) 35 total S1: 0 / S2: 10 / S3: 1 / S4: 0 / S5: 0 / S6: 0 / S7: 0 / ATS: 24 (S1, 2, 5) 4x08 Pangs does not count because Spike does not share a scene with Angel. 7x21 End of Days and 7x22 Chosen both do not count because while Spike watches Angel, Angel does not seem to be aware of him watching. For ATS, besides all of S5, they share scenes in 1x03 In The Dark and 2x07 Darla.

Fuffy (Faith x Buffy) 21 total S1: 0 / S2: 0 / S3: 13 / S4: 2 / S5: 0 / S6: 0 / S7: 5 / ATS: 1 (S1) Every Faith appearance in a BTVS episode means she will have a scene with Buffy. She has 5 Buffy-less episodes on ATS. I did count the dream sequence in 3x22 Graduation Day Part 2 because I read it as a shared dream. They are both aware of the other.

Gethan (Giles x Ethan) 4 total S1: 0 / S2: 2 / S3: 1 / S4: 1 / S5: 0 / S6: 0 / ATS: 0 Similar to Faith, whenever Ethan appears in an episode, he will have a scene with Giles.

This doesn't have visualization yet but I wanted to share the results.

#btvs data #buffy the vampire slayer data #canon ship data #canon episodes with scenes together #data source: transcripts #result: no viz yet #project status: rough draft #mine

[herinsectreflection]

i was wondering, do you have any fuffy songs? or songs you like to listen to that make you think of btvs while you write?

I think this is as good an excuse as any to share my Fuffy playlist.

66 songs, constructed in a particular order to roughly tell the Faith/Buffy story from start to finish. Some of them are more Fuffy within themsleves than others. Special mention to Anything Like Me by Poppy, Switchblade by LP, Speak Your Mind by Alice Merton and Strawberry Gashes by Jack of Jill for being obviously written about Fuffy specifically.

As for writing music, I like to avoid music that makes me think too much, because that'll distract me from thinking about the actual words I need to write. Go-to writing music is usually high tempo techno, or Beethoven.

#I know nothing about techno music or classical music #i just know i write well when the music goes lyricless and hard #ask #anonymous

[juanabaloo]

Exhibit C - Your honor they love each other! 3.05 (fuffy)

This is a pro-fuffy BTVS rewatch. (Happy Pride Month!) Exhibit C is S03E05, aka 3x05, aka 3.05 Homecoming. Long post.

1. Apparently Scott has not invited Buffy to the Homecoming dance despite their dating. WTF? He apparently didn’t feel comfortable expressing his interest in going, and claims he thought she would think it was corny. This is very strange. Anyway, they establish they will go and kiss. It’s borderline PG kissing y’all. *snort*

2. Buffy explains to Angel that things are different now. “And I'm involved with someone.” Wait, does this mean she realizes her budding non-straight feelings for Faith? *eh-eh buzzer* I’m sorry but no. Instead she proclaims her something for Scott: “His name is Scott. He's a nice, solid guy. He makes me happy...” A nice solid guy? OK, still a better comment on your SUPPOSED love interest than calling them a doofus (Riley in future S04), but a “nice, solid guy”? This is how you describe a good mechanic or plumber or weed guy, not your boo.

3. The show directly cuts to Scott breaking up with her. This made me cackle with glee. He says it’s because she is distracted all the time. Buffy was not expecting this, but admits that it’s true. Honestly I wish Scott had held on for one more episode. Imagine an AU where the vibe is more comedy. I swear we could have gotten a scene like this:

(inspo here) Imagine Buffy (Ilana) is talking to Scott (ooooh or Angel!) but then Faith (Abbi) needs to talk to her. (Yeah I know Abbi and Ilana are a platonic friendship but still.)

4a. Buffy is missing headshots for the yearbook, but Cordelia says she’ll go tell her. What is she doing instead of having her photo taken? She is training with Faith in the library. No that’s not a euphemism. This is the ONLY scene in this episode where they talk to each other. (This episode and specifically this scene is the creation of Fuffy for me. It’s seared into my brain, and yet - y’all it is literally less than a minute!) OK, so let's break it down... Buffy has an edge post-Scott-breakup, which Faith appreciates.

Faith-thee-slayer translates this excellently: “you’re hot when you’re angry. i’m angry all the time and seeing it in you validates my belief that we are the same person. i don’t want to hear about your boyfriends. you being single means more time with me.”

4b. Done with training, Buffy puts on a hoodie and Faith encourages her to move on. Buffy is now single and Faith decides to ask Buffy to go to the dance together. She’s shooting her shot y’all!! (haydenpanettieres has the build up to this moment.)

Spoiler alert: they are literally flirting! (summrsbuffy has photos of this) OK, here's the dialogue with my translation in italicized brackets. Faith starts:

You move on, and you party heavily, and you’ll be fine. I mean, you’re still going to that dance right?

Maybe (Buffy drinks her juice)

You got the tickets already. Why don’t we go together?

(Buffy puts the bottle down) I don't know about that. (she smiles)

[Buffyspeak translation: Whoa, that seems a little gay and I’m not gay. But uhm… say more.]

Come on. We’ll find a coupla studs, we’ll use ‘em and discard ‘em. (points at Buffy) That’s always fun. (drinks her own bottle of juice)

[Faithspeak translation: Uhm…. Nope not gay at all. What if we find some boy toys. That would make it less gay right? (points) You know you’ll have fun with me. (let me mirror you drinking your juice, see I’m just like you, nothing to worry about!)]

OK, I’m in. Not the stud-using part, though. (she raises her eyebrows) Or, probably not. (she smiles)

[Buffyspeak translation: OK, you made it less gay enough. We’ll just flirt with boys. How's my flirting BTW?]

Scene summary: When Buffy seems initially unsure about going to Homecoming with Faith, Faith re-centers men into the scenario. ("it's totally hetero dude") This gives Buffy the space to agree. And Buffy flirts back at Faith.

4c. OK, one other comment on this scene. There’s something going on with the framing right? The way Cordelia is watching them for a second before entering the library, but then she gets distracted and never goes in. She watches through the round window. Herinsectreflections lays it out for us. (technically aryaspork sets it up and herinsectreflections spikes it for the win here.) Gah!!

5. Buffy has one more interaction with Scott about her running for homecoming queen. She says that it’s just something to pass the time. Hmmmm, feels like this could be her commentary on dating him.

6. Bonus song thoughts: Background song during this Scott scene is also not-coincidental. (Fire Escape by Fastball): “I may not be the man you want me to be” = Scott can’t be her normal boring human boyfriend / can't be a good beard. “I can be myself” = Scott will be honest with himself. “How bout you?” = can Buffy be herself? Will Buffy realize her feelings for Faith? OK that last one could be a stretch.

7. Buffy walks to the limo, thinking that Faith is already inside, and no one else. Buffy is smiling so hard. Could this be a moment where she is happy to be going to the dance and perhaps going to be named Queen? Sure. But perhaps she is looking forward to seeing Faith. This is reinforced when she sees Cordelia instead and is disappointed. “What’s going on? Where’s Faith?” She doesn’t say “why are you here?” (emphasis on not liking Cordelia, since they are fighting). She says “Where’s Faith?” (where’s my da… I mean my gaaaaal pal)

8. Faith is shown at the dance with Willow and Oz, but they are total downers. She notices Scott with a girl and calls him a sleazebag. She’s wearing a formal dress and looks so different in formal wear than her regular wear. How we choose to present ourselves (body language, clothing, makeup) is important. Faith chooses her outfits and makeup and it’s a bit of battle armor for her. Part of her carefully put-together charming confident girl face. (I think her 3.03 Bronze pants are actually OOC, but we can talk more later about outfits.) She’s without some of her battle armor and perhaps that increases her insecurity?

9. Now Faith finds Scott and pretends to be a girl he dated, with some made up story about STD symptoms. I get the impulse to trash Scott in front of his new girl, but this is EXTREME. (Buffy didn’t ask her to do this, we don’t even see Buffy venting to Faith about getting dumped.) OK, bizarre-ness aside, check how Faith makes sure Scott’s date doesn’t miss what’s happening. The little shoulder tap - smile - “hi.”

This is brilliant - in its own twisted way. I can’t help but think this is motivated by Faith’s frustration that Buffy still hasn’t shown up. (elizadusku-archive has a good gifset) But the real question is, does Faith recognize her feelings for Buffy? Does she understand she like-likes Buffy? I would buy any of these arguments: that (A ) Faith doesn’t process her emotions well in general and is overly impulsive and takes it out on Scott. OR that (B ) Faith is still figuring out that she likes Buffy (and/or girls in general) and that frustration leads to this scene. People do strange things when the queer-ness leaks out of their overly stuffed brain. OR that (C ) Faith knows that she like-likes Buffy, is jealous of Scott for what he had, and angry at him for hurting Buffy, and so deliberately lashes out at him. My money is on C.

10. Faith has no more lines. Buffy and Cordelia return to Homecoming. But even formal-wear-Faith with no lines is a point in favor of Fuffy. She stayed! (blink and you’ll miss it tho) The entire dance, and she stayed. She invited Buffy to go to the dance with her, got a dress, did her hair up, hung out with Buffy’s joyless friends, had her scene with Scott, and she kept staying even after that! We don't see Faith scoping out any studs or anyone at all. She wanted to see her date / friend and maybe cheer on her win. Sadly we don't see Buffy talk to her once she arrives. (I like to think they caught up off-screen but that is inadmissible to the court since our exhibits are limited to the video on record.)

Imagine we had gotten to see the two of them at the Homecoming dance hanging out! *sigh* Also I just have to say, who drinks orange juice after they work out?? They are clearly meant for each other, haha.

Summary: They love each other rating: 2 out of 5. Some will see this as “just going to the dance with my gal pal.” I think Buffy’s actions (in reaction to the invite) and Faith’s actions (to Scott) show there is something more than just pure hetero-ness. It’s in the early stages your honor, but they love each other! Faith is definitely interested in Buffy as more than friends. After Scott dumps Buffy, Faith made her move. (Go Faith! Shooting your shot!) And Buffy accepted Faith’s invite to go to the dance together.

Look at Buffy as she accepts Faith's invite!

Exhibit C has been submitted, the prosecution rests for the day.

#buffy rewatch #fuffy #buffy x faith #your honor they love each other #btvs 3x05 #exhibit C your honor #btvs #buffy the vampire slayer #faith lehane #buffy summers #s03e05 #3x05 #3.05 #ep: homecoming #homecoming #long post #chosen two #btvs 3.05 homecoming #your honor series

[restlesshush]

I posted 9,237 times in 2022

That's 2,883 more posts than 2021!

179 posts created (2%)

9,058 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@autisticandroids

@suncaptor

@castiellesbian

@5bi5

@billiewena

I tagged 6,279 of my posts in 2022

Only 32% of my posts had no tags

#spn - 3,249 posts

#btvs - 1,237 posts

#ats - 148 posts

#worded thoughts - 132 posts

#cabin pressure - 90 posts

#derry girls - 71 posts

#goncharov - 71 posts

#ds9 - 69 posts

#<3 - 60 posts

#firefly - 58 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#he will address the car as ‘baby’ and he’ll talk about ‘my baby’ but he won’t just refer to it as ‘baby’ in a sentence i’m fairly certain

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I think the reason why celebrating the life of asa fox is leaving me so “wtf this isn’t just a good spn episode this is literally an episode from a better show” is that it’s not an example the show spn was trying to be, it’s specifically an episode from the show it was afraid of being.

In terms of the actual monster of the week, what we have here is a beautiful execution of the type of thing early spn was going for. The stakes are in absolute terms not high, but they’re more compelling for this because they’re so personal!! The threat is just one demon harming people we care about (literally the climax of devil’s trap, think about if the demon had been possessing Mary). Demons are actually scary again, the danger feels grounded and meaningful in a way it doesn’t tend to so much in late seasons (with some notable exceptions like red meat).

But it’s when we drill into what exactly “one demon harming people we care about” means that it becomes clear why this is a different, better show. ‘People we care about’ here isn’t just Sam and Dean and their parent, it’s not even just Sam, Dean, their parent and Jody. We’ve got this much bigger cast of very lived in characters who it feels like we could easily return to (and some of feucht we do!), which is the antithesis of what early spn was going for, and one of the weirder things it insisted on sticking with. That’s not to say early spn doesn’t want you to care about one-off characters, or that it doesn’t have recurring supporting ones, it obviously does, but it doesn’t devote this much time to making you care about them outside of how they serve the plot.

Because that’s the kicker with asa fox: it is a truly outstanding motw episode, but the entire first half doesn’t even deal with the monster at all, it’s just about exploring – and quite frankly, revelling in – both new and old characters and the dynamics between them. And spn doesn’t like to do that!! People often complain about how spn alludes to fun things happening off screen without showing them; the first half of asa fox pretty much does nothing but show them!! Yockey gives us the ensemble cast spn is terrified of having longterm, and does make excellent use of them to the end of the motw, but also shows them to be a joyful thing in their own right.

And then obviously this network of hunters we’re getting shown here is simply a further fleshing out of what we already got glimpses of via Ellen and Jo and the roadhouse. Yockey is literally using the tools spn already provides to manifest the better show it would never allow itself to be, and it’s absolutely stunning, and only his first episode.

723 notes - Posted January 8, 2022

#4

There’s an annoying flavour of fanon Cas that both is way more boring than canon and does him a massive disservice. Season 4 Cas didn’t follow Dean because he had some sort of special faith in him and his ~goodness or whatever; he wasn’t going along with him because he ~trusted him to be right. He’s persuaded by him because he a) already cares about humans in his own right and so is won over by Dean’s arguments and b) has a crush on Dean which makes him want things that Dean wants to happen. It’s not about blindly following – it’s very much about meeting someone whose principles are already very compatible with his own burgeoning ones And someone whose good opinion he wants. There’s no Just Following the Righteous Man here: it’s all about agency babeyy, and it’s not even all completely selfless! Free will!!

759 notes - Posted February 17, 2022

#3

I do think it really is something to give Dean a visible face wound while he’s mourning his dead angel husband with healing powers.

1,125 notes - Posted January 29, 2022

#2

10x03 vs 10x22: Cas pushing away the hand that’s come to save him and welcoming the hand that’s come to kill him

1,176 notes - Posted May 13, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

One of the things I find particularly entertaining about destiel as a phenomenon is how it’s a study in accidentally creating homoeroticism via a lack of shared screen time. It’s not just that “for what it’s worth, I would give anything not to have you do this” and “well, I guess I’m not the man either of our dads wanted me to be” are already incredibly intimate things for two characters to say in their eighth episode together, but they’ve also really not interacted very much during that time and none of that unambiguously on the same side. It’s the whole “Cas is Dean’s [redacted]” of it all: season 4 destiel doesn’t work as a story about Friendship or whatever because that’s just not something the writers have taken time to show. Instead, it’s simply gay.

It doesn’t stop there either; even as late as Cas’s “I could go with you” in the season 11 finale there’s a sense of “wow, that’s very intense for two guys who’ve really not spent a lot of time together lately”. But I think, ironically, the point of no turning back here was season 6, specifically how tmwwbk works in the context of the rest of it. In a season 6 where Cas had more frequently come along for motw cases, or at least where the vibe had been more friendly and amicable when they had interacted, it would be much more plausible to read Dean’s heartbroken betrayal as being about Cas as a friend. But instead, most of their interaction has just been Dean being irrationally angry at Cas for (checks notes) trying to stop the apocalypse from restarting, while this endeavour also keeps Cas off screen a good amount of the time. Because she disliked the gay angel and so gave him as little screen time as possible before trying to write him out, Sera Gamble inadvertently set up the perfect conditions for Ben Edlund to use that Eurydice turn to say “fyi, Dean’s in love with him too”.

This thread continues throughout the show, with Cas and Dean’s having intense interactions while Cas is in only roughly half of episodes, itself making these interactions come across as even more potent. The narrative forces keeping Cas and Dean apart actively directly contribute to the logical conclusion being that they’re in love with each other; the narrative just can’t win <3

1,219 notes - Posted February 2, 2022

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#very funny that my longest tag is being pedantic re spn speech patterns #also impressive showing from goncharov! #worded thoughts #long post

[juniperhillpatient]

Have you read any of the btvs comics and do you have any thoughts about them? Do you know if they are well liked or hated like the atla comics?

Hii 💖

Buffy spoilers below!

I'm personally not a fan of the continuation comics that act as like, new "seasons." I will say that I've never been a fan of ANY show's continuation-type materials. I'm just...big on endings? I don't think everything NEEDS to be continued, so I'm rarely a fan of stuff that I don't think should exist at all. But also there are a few specific things that put me off even bothering to keep reading the BTVS continuation comics. Xander/Dawn was a big one. Also some weird shit with Willow where I just didn't like where they kept trying to take her character.

I know sometimes I'll see really cute Spuffy stuff & the occasional cool Faith content posted in panel form on here, & I enjoy that stuff, but that's about it. I'm probably a bad person to ask though because again, I don't typically enjoy post-show material for ANY show & I'm just not a big comic person in general.

As to whether the comics are well-liked or not...eh? Hard to say? DEFINITELY they're not terrible on the level that like, the ATLA comics, are. I've seen plenty of Spuffy fans happy with where that relationship was taken but I know very little about the actual plots. Another issue with the ones I attempted to read was that they were like...too big picture? It was all focused around all the new slayers & big picture stuff, & didn't feel like the fun Scooby stuff that made me love the show.

Another thing is...I'm not saying the ending of Buffy was PERFECT but...I liked it. I mean, it was a satisfying ending, in a lot of ways, for me. I don't think it needed to keep going. There are things I would've changed, but I don't think the story needed to keep going.

Oh! & there is a new alternate universe comic series currently coming out just called 'The Vampire Slayer.' It's basically an alternate universe where Willow & Giles try to take away Buffy's trauma post-season 3 & through shenanigans Buffy loses her memory & Willow becomes the slayer. I haven't personally read this series because, again, just not a big comics person, BUT my brother who is ALSO a big Buffy fan & has almost all the same opinions on the show as me LOVES this series. Apparently, Faith has to train Willow to be a slayer & Buffy has to deal with memory loss + being ordinary? It sounds pretty cool & my brother rarely has bad opinions, especially on Buffy. But I haven't read it so IDK.

That was a really long & rambly way to say "nah I haven't for real read them" but yeah :D

#buffy comics #asks #anon #answered #thanks for the ask!!

[thechangeling]

It's so hard to be a lesbian who doesn't usually ship the most popular wlw ships because not only is there no canon representation but there's no fanon representation either. Like I don't know why my mind consistently shuts down the idea of the fanon popular wlw ships and instead is like "these two characters that have twenty minutes of screen time each and share none of it" and that's what I obsess over.

LITERALLY!! Ok I've been thinking about this a lot lately and I think it might be a combination of being demiro and ace/acespec and also being autistic? Because I always need Very Specific conditions for a ship to actually be one I like. It usually involves them being friends and spending a lot of time building emotion and connection and pining, which is why I love friends to lovers.

Some of my favorite wlw ships are either super obsecure like Carmilla and Laura from the Carmilla webseries, or Noami and Amanita from Sense 8 (I guess they're not that obsecure but a lot of people havent seen Sense 8), or not canon couples like Buffy and Faith from btvs and Lupe and Jess from League of their own (listen I know there are plenty of canon wlw couples from that show but for some reason my brain latched onto the ones who aren't canon). I think the only mainstream wlw couple that will probably be canon that I'm obsessed with is Caitlyn and Vi.

Or video game wlw couples like Max and Chloe, Alex and Steph, or Chloe and Rachel from the Life is Strange games.

I also think the problem might be most of the wlw rep is very cis. I tend to flock towards monstrous/supernatural wlw rep like vampires because it feels trans even if the characters aren't actually trans, and it feels neurodivergint.

There also aren't really any autistic or nd wlw couples.

Also another theory is that I find the idea of actually being in a functional sapphic relationship scary or unrealistic so I latch onto more abstract examples of lesbian love that seem fantastical or impossible because I think I'm inherently unlovable and unworthy because Trauma.

So yeah I definitely feel you.

#asks #mutuals! #rory tag! #lesbian #shipping

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Tuesday, March 5

Xander: Buffy, this is all about fear. It's understandable, but you can't let it control you. 'Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to anger.' No wait, hold on. 'Fear leads to hate. Hate leads to the dark side.' Hold on, no, umm, 'First you get the women, then you get the money, then you...' okay, can we forget that? Buffy: Thanks for the Dadaist pep talk, I feel much more abstract now. Xander: The point is, you're Buffy. Buffy: Yeah, maybe in high school I was Buffy. Xander: And now in college you're Betty Louise? Buffy: Yeah, I'm Betty Louise Plotnick of East Cupcake, Illinois. Or I might as well be. Xander: Buffy, I've gone through some fairly dark times in my life, faced some scary things, among them the kitchen at 'The Fabulous Ladies Night Club.' Let me tell you something, when it's dark and I'm all alone and I'm scared or freaked out or whatever, I always think, 'What would Buffy do?' You're my hero. Ok, sometimes when it's dark and I'm all alone I think, 'What is Buffy wearing?' Buffy: Can that be one of those things you never, ever, tell me about?

~~Buffy Episode #57: "The Freshman"~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

A Memory Away (Xander, T, Assassin‛s Creed xover) by madimpossibledreamer

The zeppo rework (Buffy/Faith, E) by Moonkid10

Do You Trust Me Now? (Buffy/Spike, E) by Maxine Eden

[Chaptered Fiction]

A friend from back Home Ch. 1 (Reader/Ensemble, unrated) by WhiteMonsterEnergy

Centrifugal Force Ch. 1/5 (AtS Ensemble, T) by MamaBewear

Dress My Body All in Flowers White CH. 32/45 (Buffy/Spike, M) by othellia

Standing Back Behind Ch. 2 (Ensemble, T) by silvain

Breaking Broken Hearts Ch. 15 (Jenny/OC, T) by Jess_Ann_Perreault

Staying Afloat Ch. 12 (Willow/Oz, Buffy/Gage Petronzi, T) by dwinchester

Glimpses of the Cellar Dweller Ch. 5/31 (Buffy/Spike, G) by Maldorana

Goodbye to Everything That I Knew Ch. 23 (Buffy/Spike, M) by My_Barbaric_Yawp

Divide & Conquer Ch. 59/61 (Buffy/Giles, E) by Removes_and_Cleans_Glasses_00

hit rewind Ch. 38 (Buffy/Spike, M) by untiljanuary

The Reason Why Ch. 1 (Buffy/OC, M) by Xyex

No Going Back Ch. 15 (Willow/Tara, M) by Tru2urheart

Head Over Feet Ch. 7 (Buffy/Spike, G) by L0zerEmz0

The Neighbor's Point of View, Chapter 92 (Buffy/Spike, G) by the_big_bad

Beg, Chapter 8 (Buffy/Spike, E) by Maxine Eden

Dead End, Chapter 5 (Buffy/Spike, T) by all choseny

The Dawnster Drabbles, Chapter 5 (Buffy/Spike, G) by Passion4Spike

Across Ages, Chapter 26 (Buffy/Spike, M) by Isabeau

Conversations in the Dark, Chapter 5 (Buffy/Spike, M) by Tessa

Speed Dates, Chapter 3-4 (Buffy/Spike, M) by Alyot

Glimpses of the Cellar Dweller, Chapter 5 (Buffy/Spike, G) by Maldorana

How Could I Not?, Chapter 5 (Buffy/Spike, M) by simmony

Crossing Over, Chapter 5 (Buffy/Spike, G) by Julikobold

Tag, You're It!, Chapter 5 (Buffy/Spike, G) by VeroNyxK84

X.X, Chapter 5 (Buffy/Spike, M) by Rea

The Guests at the Wedding, Chapter 4 (Buffy/Spike, T) by bookishy

Forever and Always?, Chapter 5 (Buffy/Spike, M) by scratchmeout

The Dreaded Lurgi, Chapter 5 (Buffy/Spike, G) by SomeKindOfADeviant

Devils Roll Their Eyes, Chapter 5 (Buffy/Spike, M) by sunalso

It's A Rom-Com! , Chapter 5 (Buffy/Spike, G) by all choseny

Boyfrenemy, Chapter 5 (Buffy/Spike, E) by Lady Emma

Rise Of The Sineyans Ch. 4 (Buffy, Faith, M) by BlueZeroZeroOne

[Images, Audio & Video]

Artwork:Paperman Buffy, () by TrevorCarlee

[Reviews & Recaps]

PODCAST: BTVS 511 - Triangle by Another Buffy Podcast

[Fandom Discussions]

Why all the hate towards Buffy Anne Summers? by Multiple Authors

So about that whole…”Wesley X Cordy” thing… by Plasma

What's up with SMG? by Holden Norgorov

How old was Faith supposed to be when she first arrived to Sunnydale? by InfiniteMehdiLove

Opinions on Justine Cooper by BlueCammo

Give us some kind of TV show or movie already! by ManoftheHour777

In season 3, was Fred that naive about Wesley having a crush on her? by hthbellhop76

LF specific fanfic by No_Song9934

The idea of Xander as Glory's host. by Capital-Shake-313

Anya question by TrainSpotterMommy

Bangalore Breakup by Sote95

Does anyone else love season six? by Wilting888h

7x02 - Beneath You final scene. by thrasherbuffy

How old were you when you first discovered Buffy & Angel? by Fluffy_Physics_3374

What do you think would happen if Oz had never left, but Willow still ended up meeting Tara? by Capital-Shake-313

Xander lies to Buffy to protect her from Angel's inner beast Angelus by Commercial-Sink8444

James Marsters in Smallville… by bubbabeexo

Just started a rewatch by twig8944

I’m currently watching Angel (mid season 1) and Cordelia changed so much since Buffy. I’m loving her by Wide-Grocery6389

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#btvs #buffy the vampire slayer #angel the series #fan art #fan fiction #meta

[sspoike]

hello hii I was tagged a hot minute ago (sorry I’m very late on this) by @anyachristinaemmanuellajenkins and @doppelganglands for a get-to-know tag game and tho I’m late on it i still rlly wanted to participate so here goes

1. three ships:

-spuffy (it’s like a worm that’s settled shop in my brain it’s not going away sorry, and I’m very pro turning spuffy into a throuple with like angel or faith or dru like I wanna support THEIR endeavors it’s women supporting women)

-sookie x eric northman from the sookie stackhouse series (ie true blood but it’s the books that scratch the eric northman itch wayyy more to my liking, I think it’s bc the books hate bill the way I hate bill, which is a lot more than the tv show for some reason)

-giles x jenny x ethan… I just think they’re all hot and i want them together with tension-filled bickering. lock me up and sue me

2. first ship ever: im having a hard time figuring this one out bc my memory has kind of disintegrated over the years but I think it was sam x danny phantom (ghost mode), again just bc I thought they were hot and I wanted to be them (but specifically ghost mode danny bc non-ghost mode danny is Just Some Guy and child me was already Just Some Guy). if it’s not that it might’ve been bella x edward— not to air out my dirty laundry but twilight (2008) ignited something feral and disgusting within young me. I think it’s the vampire thing

3. currently listening: ‘miami’ by caroline rose. im having to restrain myself from listening to it too much bc I do have a tendency to gorge myself on the things I love until I’m absolutely sick of it. also any and all things Tennis.

4. last movie: the Banshees of Inisherin. It’s about despair and breaking up with a friend and the lack of answers & resolutions that can surround an ending to that kind of relationship and it’s silly and it’s got irish accents and tiny little donkeys and I liked it but my mom hated it

5. currently reading: perhaps I did start rereading the sookie stackhouse series and perhaps I am already on book 4 “Dead to the World” by Charlaine Harris. eric just lost his memory btw. he’s wrapped in a blankie in sookie’s house and he’s watching her boxed-set of btvs. if you even care.

6. currently watching: The Last of Us on hbo. mushrooms are so cool man

7. currently consuming: iced coffee :) I made it myself :) and it’s very Just Okay:) (it’s pretty bad)

8. currently craving: I got a new nonstick pan so I’ve been making a lot of over-easy eggs and eating english muffin breakfast sandwiches. not to be a woman in her twenties but something about the nonstick being super non-sticky is making me feel alive

bc I am a bit late on the game I’m informally tagging mutuals and anyone else who wants to give it a go! thank you for coming to my tedtalk

#tag game #mutuals I feel like this is implied but I always want to know more about you all both on an intellectual level and carnally

[kyliafanfiction]

Hello! How are you? Kind of random but I somehow stumbled across an older post of yours about your head canon sexualities for BtVS and AtS characters, and I was wondering if they still held or if they had changed over the years? A lot of them made sense to me but perceptions can shift over time so I was curious if you still felt the same.

Okay, so 1) If you're going to respond to a specific post of mine, I would appreciate you including links or Post #s or something. In this case, I do remember making a big sexuality masterpost and mostly what was on it, but I can't find the post in question despite spending the last few hours looking for it on and off between customers. So if I didn't remember that post fairly well, you'd be SOL in getting an answer to your question.

2). No They haven't. Because the canon hasn't changed. My views on the characters orientations in that sense is "this is what I interpret to be the case in the canon" (except in the case of Amy, more or less). I don't do headcanons like a lot of people on tumblr do, where they'll just throw sexualities, gender identities and neurodivergencies they like at characters they like just because. (This is... not entirely fair, but really, sure how it looks like sometimes).

This isn't to say I don't sometimes go 'oh, there's an interesting prospect for a story' when it involves say, Buffy and Tara as a ship. I've read a few interesting looking Buffy/Tara fics, despite reading Buffy as straight. Hell, I even read Xander/Tara fic despite Tara being super duper gay in canon. Most don't work for me, but they arent all bad per se. I've even written oneshots or the like for Buffy and Cordelia as a ship, despite thinking both are straight.

I've even written longer works that do this. One is just shameless smut and isn't meant to be taken too seriously (The Nymph's Kiss) in which both Buffy and Cordelia are bi for the purposes of the fic I want to do there. Another (Next Year's Girl) has Cordelia be bi because I wanted to write a fic where Xander got bodyswapped with Faith and then stuck in her body, but I'm also a diehard Xandelia shipper so. (I also have three other fics in partial stages of planning that feature Xandelia as a ship but with a Bi Cordelia because Xander is genderbent in some form. This is a premise I quite like, when done right, and have for a long time, I've only relatively recently been willing to actually write it because I've reached the 'fuck it, write the idfic' stage)

But ultimately I still think Cordelia's canon orientation, the orientation of the character that we see on the screen, is heterosexual. When we're talking about the baseline, canon, common to us all Cordelia, I think she's straight. Same with Buffy. Same with Xander (though I'm unlikely to write a fic where Xander likes guys because I'm just not generally interested in m/m fic)

In the context of specific fics or Aus or Whatever, then yeah, go crazy and I'm never gonna dictate other people's HCs, but I tend to go with what's onscreen or what's justifiable from the provided evidence and work from there (and I tend to be conservative - small c, not in a political sense - with how much I read into things, whereas some people will read a lot into things. Generally, if a character doesn't show any specific signs they're not straight, I assume they are)

So no. They haven't changed. And why would they? Canon is still what it is.

#Asked and Answered #Sexuality Headcanons #I am still a bit baffled you're asking this but there it is

[regenderate-fic]

Yasmin Khan, Vampire Slayer

Fandom: Doctor Who, Buffy the Vampire Slayer Ships: Faith Lehane/Buffy Summers (background) Characters: Yasmin Khan, Izzy Flint, Faith Lehane, Buffy Summers, Original Female Characters Rating: General Series: Ready to Be Strong Word Count: 8,973 Other Tags: Crossover, Vampire Slayer Yaz, Post-Chosen, Mental Health Issues, Vampire Slayers, AU - Vampire Slayer, Bullying Read on AO3

Summary: At the age of four, Yasmin Khan breaks a table in her nursery. She spends a long time teaching herself to control and hide her strength, thinking it's normal-- until she has a bad day, runs away from school, and gets into a bit of trouble.

(Basically… it's exactly what the title says. With a side of Faith as a mentor figure. Canon-compliant with BtVS, mostly canon-compliant with Doctor Who.)

NOTES: i started this fic like a year and a half ago and didn't finish it until now. anyway i just think it fits yaz's character and also i just remembered how much i love faith. i haven't written buffy fic in YEARSSSSS but like. here we are. also i'm about to go get my booster shot and i'm terrified wish me luck please

content warning: there's a bit of bullying in this fic and the whole thing deals with yaz's mental health. it's not toooooooo explicit mostly because i repressed middle school well enough that i don't actually remember what middle school bullies are like but like. it's definitely there. read with caution

2003

Yasmin Khan is four years old when she breaks one of the tables in her nursery. She doesn’t mean to— she’s drawing with her crayon, just like normal, and then she feels a jolt of energy or something. She’s pressing down pretty hard with the crayon, and it snaps. Yaz's fist, still holding the crayon’s top half, hits the table's surface. One of the metal legs slips, and the table tilts: the crayons clatter to the floor. Yaz stares, shell shocked. This has never happened before. 

She's vaguely aware of crying in the background as the grown-ups come over and start fussing: "I knew those tables were too cheap,” one says. “Yasmin, are you okay, honey?” another asks. 

“I broke my crayon,” Yaz says, holding up the broken half as proof. 

“Aw, yes you did,” the grown-up says. “All right, then, let’s get you set up at another table, okay?”

Yaz sits at the new table with her coloring page in front of her and a different color crayon, holding the thin wax stick as loosely as she can.

2004

Yaz knows, by now, that things break in her hands. She’s torn her doorknob off the door, ripped the arm off her favorite stuffed bear, and crushed the tips on a whole box of markers. Her parents have been disapproving, but they’ve just chalked it up to shoddy craftsmanship and childhood clumsiness: none of Yaz’s nursery friends break things like she does. Yaz assumes this means she’s doing something wrong, since her classmates are clearly better at controlling themselves than she is, and so he’s spent hours in her room, practicing the right amount of force to use to pull her dresser drawers open, the right way to zip up her jacket without tearing the zipper clean off, even the specific motion to turn off her lamp without breaking the switch. Outside of her room, she keeps to herself, terrified that she’ll break something where people can see. Her parents see her as quite a serious child, a sharp contrast to her sister who at two years old is already babbling away to anyone who will listen. 

By her first day of primary school, Yaz’s strength is under control. She hasn’t broken any art supplies in months, and she’s been playing outside with the neighbor kids every day without a hitch, even controlling her temper when one of them takes the stick she was using to draw in the dirt. Yaz is quietly proud of her improvement, although the pride is not without the shame of knowing that she has had to work for what seems to come so naturally to her peers. Still. She can almost— almost— relax. 

2012

Yaz is in secondary school now, and if she’s being honest with herself, things have been better. That’s an understatement, really: Izzy Flint, the school’s resident mean girl, has decided that this year Yaz is who she’s going to target, and now Yaz can’t escape the commentary in the corridors, the notes passed around her in class. It doesn’t help that Yaz is going through an awkward phase: her teeth are encased in metal, and she hasn’t quite hit her growth spurt yet. 

And when Izzy Flint and her friends corner Yaz in the bathroom and insult everything from her family’s religion to her new coat, it takes every ounce of willpower for Yaz to not lash out. Every snide comment, every insult, seems to enter her body and gather in a tight, hot, knot in her stomach, until every one of her muscles is tensed and every inch of her skin is crawling with the potential of what she could do.

But she doesn’t do anything. She stands there, and she lets the knot in her stomach grow tighter and hotter until she finally yells, “Shut up!” 

The room goes silent. Too silent. Izzy still has a smug little smile on her face. For a second, Yaz imagines punching her, wiping the smile right off her face, and then she pushes the thought away, immediately feeling guilty. She doesn’t like Izzy Flint, but she doesn’t want to see her broken.

“Look at that,” Izzy finally says, her voice quiet and sing-songy. “She does have a voice.” She’s shorter than Yaz still, but somehow it feels like she’s a million times taller. “You want me to shut up?” she asks. She turns to her friends. “Did you hear that? Yaz wants me to shut up.” 

The other girls laugh, and Yaz swallows back tears.

“I guess you can have your wish,” Izzy Flint says. “Just for today.” She turns, her blonde ponytail swinging behind her, and marches away. Her friends follow.

Yaz’s class starts in a minute, but she doesn’t care. She ducks into the nearest stall and screws her eyes shut, trying her hardest not to cry. It doesn���t work. The tears start flowing, and Yaz can’t suppress her sobs. They echo in the empty bathroom: everyone else is in class by now. The knot is still embedded in her stomach, and her skin is still prickling. It all builds up until it becomes unbearable, and finally Yaz’s control slips. She kicks the toilet with all of her might. For a moment, it brings a kind of relief, but the moment only lasts until she sees the ceramic crack and start to crumble. 

“Oh no,” she whispers to herself. 

And then she runs. She runs through the halls, ignoring the teachers who call out for her, ignoring everything until she’s out the door and on the sidewalk. Her feet pound against the cement, buildings blurring around her, as she takes turn after turn until suddenly she stops and realizes she has no idea where she is. She blinks and looks around. She’s in a residential area— the sidewalk is patchy, and the red-brick homes around her look sort of familiar. She hasn’t gone too far, then. She remembers going to friends’ houses in this area, back in primary school. 

The relief at knowing where she is only lasts a moment, though, before more worries come crashing down on her. What will happen at school when she comes back after running away? What will her parents say? Her mum and dad are loving, but they still get mad sometimes, and Yaz has never done anything as shocking as running away from school before. She’s on the brink of tears for the second time when she hears yelling from behind her.

She turns. There’s a woman running down the sidewalk, and behind her is— Yaz blinks. It looks like a vaguely humanoid mass of fur. But before she can process the scene, the woman is yelling, “Stay back!” and Yaz is scurrying away from the street, pressing herself against the fence that separates the sidewalk from the houses. As she watches, the mass of fur catches up with the woman and pounces, pinning her underneath. The woman uses both legs to kick the creature, and it flies backwards. Yaz watches the budding fight with interest. This woman, whoever she is, is powerful: the creature she’s fighting is twice her size, but she’s not at all overwhelmed. Something about her movement seems natural to Yaz, easy: and then Yaz realizes. This woman is using all of her strength. Yaz has never seen that before: even in her physical education class, everyone holds back a little. But this woman isn’t holding back at all. She can’t: the creature she’s fighting matches her, blow for blow, until the woman finally leaps onto its back and wraps her arms around its neck. Just as Yaz thinks the creature is about to die, it vanishes into thin air, and the woman drops to the ground, landing lithely on her feet. Despite her best instincts, Yaz approaches warily.

“Is it dead?” she asks.

“What?” The woman has an American accent, Yaz notices. “Oh, that thing? No, it’s just somewhere else.” She shrugs. “I’ll get it eventually.” 

“Oh.” Yaz looks the woman up and down. She’s white, with dark hair cropped close to her face, and dressed in a leather jacket and blue jeans that say more “cool aunt” than “suburban warrior.” 

“You okay, kid?” the woman asks. “Shouldn’t you be in school?”

Suddenly, Yaz realizes how she must look: an awkward kid with braces and tear tracks on her face, wandering around the outskirts of Sheffield.

“No,” she says, but it comes out weak. 

The woman surprises Yaz by laughing. “Yeah, okay,” she says. “Do you have parents?”

“They’re at work,” Yaz says. “I live down that way.” She gestures vaguely in what she thinks is the direction of her flat. “Don’t worry about me. Just having a bad day.” She hesitates, but this woman somehow doesn’t seem dangerous, despite the fact that Yaz just watched her take down a creature twice her size. “I ran away from school,” she admits.

The woman laughs again. “I ran away all the time when I was your age,” she tells Yaz. “As an adult, I think I have to tell you it’s a bad idea, though.”

“I know,” Yaz says miserably. “My parents are going to be mad.”

“They probably just want you to be safe,” the woman says. She looks the other way down the road. “I think I saw a bus stop back there. I’ll wait with you until it comes.”

“Okay,” Yaz says. Her parents always told her not to talk to strangers, but this woman seems nice, and she’s not trying to get Yaz into a white van or anything. Yaz has been taking the bus by herself for ages now, anyway. 

The walk to the bus stop is short. Yaz is full of questions to ask this strange woman, but she can’t decide which to ask first, so she just walks in awed silence until they sit down on the bus stop bench and Yaz blurts, “What’s your name?”

“Faith,” the woman says. “What’s yours?”

“Yaz,” Yaz says. She remembers enough of her parents’ lectures not to give out her full name to this stranger, but she figures a nickname is all right. “Are you American?”

“Yep,” Faith says. “But my work takes me all over.”

“Is your work fighting monsters?” Yaz asks. “Was that guy a monster?”

“Sort of,” Faith replies. “It’s a little more complicated than that, but yeah.”

“Whoa.” Yaz wants to say so much more, but she sees the bus in the distance, so she settles for, “Thanks for talking to me.”

“Sure, anytime,” Faith says. “And hey, if you’re ever in any trouble, look up the Slayers, okay? Give us a call.”

“Okay,” Yaz says, too confused to ask more questions. And then the bus pulls up, and Yaz gets on, and Faith disappears into the distance. 

“Where on Earth have you been?” her mum asks when she gets home. “The school called me at work.”

“Sorry,” Yaz mumbles. 

“They said your teachers have been worried about you,” her mum persists. “Yaz, are you being bullied?”

Yaz shrugs, ignoring the lump in her throat. “I didn’t mean to scare you,” she says.

Her mum sighs. “Don’t think we won’t be talking more about this.” But there’s no bite to it. “Come on, it’s time for tea.”

2016

Ever since running away from school, Yaz has kept herself out of trouble. She gets decent grades, she keeps her head down in class, and if she sneaks out a couple of times, well, what her parents don’t know won’t hurt them. Her teachers love her, her parents are far busier worrying about her sister, and Yaz can fly under the radar.

But that doesn’t mean things are better than they were. Yaz has a couple more friends, and she’s found a quiet rhythm at school, but Izzy Flint hasn’t matured even a little bit in the last four years, and the other kids aren’t much different. The knot in Yaz’s stomach almost never goes away now. 

She’s started running every day. It’s the only thing that helps. She goes alone and runs until she’s exhausted— at first she would tire out after four miles, but now she can go eight, even ten. It’s the only time the knot in her stomach subsides.

So things are fine. She gets hurt, she runs, and it helps. 

Except… the pain never really goes away. 

Yaz is sort of starting to think nothing will get better. It was easier to have hope when she was younger, when she hadn’t been in secondary school for five years, each one as agonizing as the last. She can’t talk to her parents about it— they both work full-time, and when they’re home Yaz doesn’t have the heart to say anything. And so Yaz just feels herself sinking deeper and deeper.

The history test is the last straw. It’s small, but on top of everything else— it’s just too much. When Yaz turns over the paper and sees a bright red F on the front page, the knot in her stomach crystallizes into the full-body tension she hasn’t felt in years. Her skin is crawling, her muscles are tight, and she needs to get out, not just out of the school but out of the city, out of her life. She shoves the test deep in her bag and focuses on trying not to snap her pencil in half for the rest of the class.

It’s the last class of the day, and the minute it gets out, Yaz is gone. She slings her bag over her shoulder and pushes through the crowd of students, barely noticing their presence. The minute she’s out the door of the school, she starts running, ignoring the kids milling about outside, ignoring the cars going past, ignoring everything but the wind and the feeling of the ground against her feet.

Until she hears her sister’s voice. “Yaz!” she’s yelling. “Yaz, where are you going?”

Yaz stops and turns. Sonya is jogging up to her, confusion splashed across her face.

“I’m just going for a run,” Yaz says. “Go home without me.”

“In your school clothes?” Sonya asks. “With your bag and everything?”

“I need to clear my head.” It’s taking every ounce of control in Yaz’s body to keep herself standing still, talking to her sister, instead of hightailing it out of there without looking back.

“If you say so.” Sonya doesn’t look convinced. “If you’re not back by six, I’m calling the cops.”

“Sure you are.” Yaz rolls her eyes. “I’ll see you later.”

“See you.” 

And Yaz turns away.

She doesn’t know how long she runs. She turns away from the city and she just goes, letting her feet carry her as far as they can. The sun is starting to set before she feels her phone vibrate in her pocket, jolting her back into reality.

“Sonya,” she mutters, jamming the phone against her ear. “Hello?”

“Where the hell are you?” Sonya asks. “I didn’t call the cops, you’re welcome, by the way, but Mum and Dad are freaking out.”

Yaz looks around. She’s been running along a random stretch of road for hours now. 

“I don’t know,” she says. “Listen, Sonya, it’s fine. I’ve got GPS on my phone and everything. Don’t worry about me.”

“I’ll tell Mum and Dad that you’re staying over at Aisha’s place,” Sonya says. “But if you’re not back by tomorrow night, I’m calling the cops for real this time.”

“Sounds fair,” Yaz says. She’s unexpectedly choked up. “Thanks.”

“Yeah, anytime.” There’s a pause on the other end of the line. “I’d better go, Mum and Dad are knocking at my door.”

“All right, bye,” Yaz says.

“See you tomorrow,” Sonya says.

“Yeah, tomorrow.” 

The line goes dead. Yaz holds the phone to her ear for another moment before shoving it into her pocket. Her hands are cold, she realizes. It’s late October, and although the days have been warm enough, the evenings have a bitter chill to them. It’s getting dark out, too. Part of Yaz doesn’t care: she’s tired, and she just wants to sink down in the grass at the edge of the road and fall asleep right there. But her last scrap of survival instinct tells her to look up her location on her phone and at least start walking towards a town. She’s about ten miles away from Sheffield, it turns out, and only two and a half miles away from the nearest town. So with nothing left to do, she starts walking.

The walk is pretty. The trees are still clinging to the last of their autumn color, and the branches with no leaves create patterns against the sky. The sunset, too, is beautiful, with golden pinks and blues peeking from behind the clouds. On a good day, Yaz would be awed by this, but today it almost annoys her. She’s at her worst, and the world refuses to acknowledge it. She kicks a rock, and it skitters out onto the road. She doesn’t feel any better.

By the time it’s fully dark, Yaz is only ten minutes’ walk away from the town center. There’s a cracked asphalt sidewalk, and there are a few houses scattered nearby, lights glowing in their windows. Yaz can barely see, but her phone is almost out of battery, and she doesn’t have a charger: she’s not going to waste her last bit of battery on lighting a path if she can navigate without.

It’s a risk, walking along a strange street in the dark, and it doesn’t pay off. After just a couple minutes, she runs right into someone, her body slamming against his. 

“Sorry,” she says, jumping back. “I didn’t see you.”

“Oh, you’ll be sorry,” the unseen man growls, his voice deep and dangerous. A jolt of fear seizes Yaz, and an instinct she didn’t even know she had kicks in. The man grabs her by the shoulders, and Yaz ducks and rams her head into his stomach. He yells in pain, but doesn’t let up: he lunges for her again, but Yaz aims a kick to his side, knocking him flat. She can’t see him, so she backs up as he recovers. “Slayer,” he spits, disgust in his tone.

“What?” Yaz blurts. 

A car goes by, its headlights illuminating the man. He’s gotten up, and he’s approaching Yaz again. She only gets a brief glimpse of him, enough to establish his silhouette: he’s taller than her, but gangly, and— something is wrong with his eyes. He charges Yaz again, and she throws her arms up to push him away. He grabs at her, and she runs backwards. 

Another car goes by, and Yaz sees his eyes again— his brow is wrinkled, that’s what’s wrong, and his eyes are a threatening yellow— but then he jumps at Yaz and she doesn’t have time to think about it because she’s aiming a punch at his face. She’s breathing hard now, but she can’t stop: there’s no time to stop. 

Another car goes by, and Yaz barely notices. She’s in a full-on wrestling match— and then she realizes they’re bathed in red light from the car’s tail lights. It’s stopped a few feet away. Just as she manages to flip the man on his back, pinning him to the ground with her knee, she hears footsteps, and then a voice yells, “Move!” Without even thinking, Yaz jumps off, and in the red light she sees a girl punch the man in a chest with— Yaz can’t tell what she’s holding. Whatever it is, it punctures his skin, and he goes limp. 

“What?” Yaz yells again.

And then the man’s body turns to dust.

Yaz stands, speechless, watching the dust swirl in the dim red light. The girl who killed the man straightens up. She looks about Yaz’s age, a little shorter than Yaz and with her hair pulled away from her face and covered by a dark hijab. Yaz stares at her, unsure what to say first. The other girl beats her to it.

“You all right?” she asks.

“What just happened?” Yaz looks down to where the man’s body was only seconds before.

The girl glances down. “Hang on, I’ve never done the explanation before.” She takes a deep breath and looks Yaz in the eyes. “That was a vampire. And you’re a vampire Slayer if I’ve ever seen one.”

“A what?” 

“Look,” the girl says. “What’s your name?”

“Yasmin.”

“All right, Yasmin. I’m Jalila.” The girl looks back at her car. “Why don’t you come with us? We’ve got a safe house in Sheffield. You can stay overnight if you need to, and we’ll tell you all about what just happened.”

Yaz weighs her options. Either she can keep walking in the dark until she gets to the town, exhausted and alone and without a place to sleep, or she can take her chances with a group of strangers who may have just saved her life. It’s not much of a choice. She’s exhausted and low on self-preservation instincts, and Jalila seems— well, nice enough, for someone who just stabbed a guy.

“Okay,” she says, and follows Jalila to the car, where two other girls have been waiting the whole time. Jalila and Yaz slide into the back seat, and the others turn awkwardly in their seats so that Jalila can introduce them. Their names are Morwenna and Ari: Morwenna has pale skin, bubblegum pink hair, and a barely-visible but still wicked grin on her face; Ari has deep brown skin and wire-rimmed glasses, and her friendly nod when she’s introduced makes Yaz feel a little less nervous.

“Don’t worry,” Jalila says, as if she’s reading Yaz’s thoughts. “Ari’s a great driver.”

“Plus the rest of us are too young to drive,” Morwenna points out.

“Slayers are notoriously terrible drivers,” Jalila tells Yaz. “But Ari’s just a junior Watcher. Practically harmless.” 

Yaz nods along. She doesn’t know what Jalila’s talking about, but she also doesn’t have the energy to care. The majority of her brain checked out hours ago. 

“All right, are we ready to go?” Morwenna asks. Something deep in Yaz’s brain notes that her accent is decidedly Welsh.

Jalila taps her foot against Yaz’s. “Ready, Yasmin?”

“Uh, sure,” Yaz says.

“Poor thing, she’s half asleep,” Ari says. “C’mon, let’s get back.”

Morwenna backs the car out onto the road. Yaz leans her head against the window, intending to sleep, but suddenly she can’t: she has too many questions.

“Can I ask you something?” she asks, directing the question at anyone who will answer.

“‘Course you can,” Morwenna answers. Yaz can see her eyes glancing back in the rearview mirror.

“Earlier, Jalila mentioned something— a vampire Slayer?” Yaz hesitates. “What does that mean?”

“One girl in all the world,” Morwenna and Jalila intone in unison. “She alone will—”

“Oh, don’t give her that,” Ari says. “She’s been through enough today.”

“Fair enough,” Jalila groans. She twists in her seat until she’s facing Yaz.  “All right, here’s the thing. I’m going to say a lot of stuff that’s really hard to believe, and you’ve got to at least try to believe me, okay?”

“Okay,” Yaz says. 

“So the Slayer thing is complicated,” Jalila says. “Basically, there are all these vampires and demons crawling the planet. No one knows why, but that’s how it is. A long time ago, some guys decided that someone needed to fight all these vampires, but instead of doing it themselves like real men would, they gave magic power to a teenage girl. And then the Slayer power passed from girl to girl for thousands of years. About fifteen years ago, that changed, and a whole bunch of Slayers got Called—”

“Got their powers,” Ari interjects.

“Right, got their powers,” Jalila amends, “and since then we’ve all worked together.” She glances to Ari. “How’d I do?”

“Perfect,” Ari says. 

“But I don’t have superpowers,” Yaz protests, although now her thoughts are muddled enough that she’s really not sure. Can she lift more than the others in her class? Is it normal to run so many miles at a time without feeling even a little tired? 

“If you didn’t have superpowers, you would probably be dead right now,” Morwenna says bluntly.

“Don’t scare her,” Ari chastises. 

“She’s right,” Jalila says. “Or you’d be a vampire. Which is worse.”

“Look,” Morwenna says, turning around in her seat. “Yasmin. Do you break stuff accidentally a lot?”

“Not anymore,” Yaz says. “I mean, everyone’s clumsy as a kid.”

“Clumsy as in not being able to tie your shoes, or clumsy as in ripping your clothes just by putting them on?” Morwenna asks. “‘Cause I was the second one. Kept breaking chairs, too. Drove my parents mad.” 

Yaz tries to think for a second. Her memories are foggy, a natural consequence of trying to have a life-altering conversation late at night. “I ripped my favorite stuffed animal,” she offers. 

“There it is.” Jalila gives Yaz’s arm a friendly tap. “You’re one of us.”

“What does that mean, one of you?” Yaz asks. 

Ari glances back. “This might be a conversation for after you’ve slept.” 

Yaz opens her mouth, about to protest, but then Ari, having stopped at a stoplight, turns all the way around in her seat and gives Yaz a warm smile.

“You’re going to be all right, Yasmin.”

Yaz nods, a lump rising in her throat, threatening to become tears.

“Now,” Ari adds, “are we taking you home, or are you staying with us for the night?”

“I—” Yaz stumbles. She should go home. But she really, really doesn’t want to. And Sonya’s already covered for her. “I don’t want to inconvenience you.”

The light turns green. Ari turns back around, and the car starts moving again.

“It’s not an inconvenience,” Jalila says. “I told you. We’ve got a safe house. Loads of room.”

“Okay.” Yaz stares out the window. “I guess I’ll stay, then.”

“We’ve got another one, girls!” Morwenna cheers, and Jalila laughs. Yaz just keeps looking out the window, watching the tree-lined roads give way to city streets until the car pulls up in front of a big house, the kind that’s usually split up into smaller flats.

“All right, this is it.” Ari parks just outside and turns to look at Yaz. “All right, Yasmin. Let’s get you settled.”

Yaz doesn’t have the energy to respond. She just gets out of the car, her backpack still hanging off her shoulders, and lets the others lead her into the house.

She doesn’t know what she expected, but it’s not this. The second she steps inside, she’s in a large living room, sofas and armchairs scattered throughout, the walls papered in maps and charts and newspaper articles connected by bits of string. There are a few girls huddled around the coffee table, where Yaz sees what looks like a massive and ancient tome— she blinks. What on Earth are these girls her age doing with a massive and ancient tome? When she looks around, she notices the entire back wall is lined with bookshelves, filled with books just as imposing.

“What is this place?” she asks, looking back at Ari.

“Sheffield Headquarters,” Ari says quietly. “We’ll do the tour tomorrow. Come on, I’ll get you settled in one of the guest rooms.”

Yaz follows Ari up a flight of stairs. This looks more like a regular house, with floral wallpaper and plush carpeting and doors lining the hallway, although the hallway is longer than Yaz expects.

“That one’s the bathroom,” Ari says, pointing to the door nearest the stairs. “Remember that, or else things might get awkward.”She looks around, and Yaz, following her gaze, notices a few of the doors have whiteboards on them, all blank. 

“Looks like you’re the only guest tonight,” Ari says. She steps towards one of the doors and unclips a marker from its whiteboard. She writes Yasmin in big letters, then replaces the marker and looks back at Yaz. “This’ll be yours.”

“Thanks.” Yaz pushes the door open to see a small space, furnished with a desk, a dresser, a nightstand, and a neatly-made twin bed. She drops her backpack on the ground and turns back to face Ari.

“Do you need pajamas?” Ari asks. “We’ve got loads of extras. What size are you, medium?”

Yaz frowns. “I think so.” 

“Right. You get settled, and I’ll be back in a moment.” Ari steps away, and the door to the room swings closed. Yaz sinks down onto the bed, staring at the blank wall in front of her. The full madness of what she’s done is starting to hit her— what if these people are crazy kidnappers who want to hurt her? What if she never sees Sonya again, or her parents? 

There’s a knock at the door, and Ari pokes her head back in. “Found you some pajamas.” She tosses a bundle of flannel to Yaz, who catches it easily.

“Thanks,” she says. She hesitates, trying to figure out what she wants to say. Fortunately, Ari seems to get it.

“Yasmin, it’s going to be all right. We’re going to help you, okay?”

Yaz nods. 

“Just come downstairs when you wake up tomorrow, and we’ll go from there,” Ari adds. She smiles. “Good night.”

“Good night.” 

The door closes again, and Yaz changes into the pajamas Ari gave her. She’s moving slowly: her body has gone on autopilot, after the day she’s had. The pajamas are soft, at least, and they fit well enough. Yaz turns off the light and slides between the twin bed’s clean, untouched sheets.

She falls asleep in seconds. 

She wakes up the next morning still feeling exhausted. It takes her a couple minutes to remember why: the failed test, the running, the man attacking her, the girls who rescued her— she sits straight up, grabbing her phone off the nightstand. She needs to text Sonya. 

She turns on her phone. It’s already 10:00, and of course she has six missed calls from her sister. She sighs and unlocks the screen.

Yaz: Sonya I’m fine. I’ll be back later promise

Sonya texts back within seconds.

Sonya: u better be

Sonya: im lying my ass off covering 4 u rn

Yaz: I know. Sorry. I’ll see you later

Sonya: 🙄 k

Running away was so stupid, Yaz thinks to herself. She should’ve just kept the energy in, saved it for when she could go for a regular run. If she’d just been able to keep herself under control, she would’ve avoided getting Sonya all worried, would’ve avoided having to lie to her parents, would’ve avoided getting attacked on the side of a dark road. She’s got years of practice, keeping things bottled up. Why couldn’t she have just kept it up?

“Ugh,” she mutters to herself. She wants very much to kick one of the walls as hard as she can, but she knows what happens when she kicks things as hard as she can. It never goes well. So she pushes down the urge and forces herself to change back into her clothes from the day before, moving slowly so she doesn’t lose control and rip up the only shirt she’s got with her. Finally, she combs her fingers through her hair as best she can before pulling it into a tight braid. Something about doing her hair, taking it from a loose mess into a semi-ordered style, makes her frustrated energy dissipate a little, and she starts to feel a bit better. She pulls a hair tie out of her backpack and snaps it around the end of the braid. 

She takes a deep breath.

It’s time to go downstairs.

Her memories of the night before are garbled already, filtered through her exhausted state to the point of nonsense. She remembers something about vampires, about killing them, something about strength, superpowers, callings… she shakes her head. None of it makes any sense. It can’t be real.

Except that the guy who attacked her last night did have weird yellow eyes.

And there’s that creature she saw that one woman fighting a few years ago. Faith, or whatever her name was. 

And… well, is it possible that the reason everyone else seems to be much better at handling their strength is that they simply don’t have it?

Yaz takes a deep breath. It doesn’t matter. She’s just got to get downstairs, figure out what’s going on, and go home. She picks up her backpack and tidies the bed a bit, just out of some urge to be polite. And then she leaves the room, tiptoeing hesitantly down the stairs.

The second she gets to the bottom of the stairs, she’s met with raucous laughter. She glances into the living room and sees about fifteen girls sitting together, playing a video game on the television— or, the television is on and a video game is running, and two of the girls are wrestling each other for one of the remotes. There are a few seconds before anyone notices Yaz— they’re too busy cheering on the fight— and when someone does, she yells, “New girl!” and everyone turns to look.

Yaz shrinks under the many eyes. “Sorry, er, last night Ari said to come down here when I woke up.”

“Ari’s in the kitchen,” one of the girls in the back says. “With Faith.” She gestures down the hall.

“Okay. Thanks.” Yaz nods at the group of girls. As she turns to walk down the hall, she hears a chorus of, “Bye, new girl!” 

The kitchen is much quieter. It’s just Ari and— Yaz stops in her tracks as she recognizes the dark-haired woman sitting on the counter, holding a mug. Faith.

“I know you,” she blurts.

Faith looks at her for a second. ��Do you?”

Yaz nods. “I think so. From when I was younger. You were fighting something hairy.”

Recognition hits Faith’s features. “Oh, right, the Nisanti demon.” She looks Yaz up and down. “Yaz, right?”

“Yeah.” Yaz glances from her to Ari, who’s sitting at the table with her tea. “Is this— where you live?”

Faith shrugs. “Sometimes. When I’m in town.” She nods at Yaz. “So, you’re a Slayer, then?”

“Erm—” Yaz glances at Ari. “I guess so.”

“We found her late last night,” Ari says. “Hasn’t been much time to explain.” To Yaz, she adds, “Faith is one of the Slayers overseeing the British Isles region. She’s the second-oldest Slayer we’ve got.”

“All these years, and I’m still second to Buffy,” Faith says, but she’s smiling. “Every time.”

“Buffy?” Yaz asks.

Faith gestures at the table. “Sit down, kid. Let’s get you some breakfast. You an egg person or a cereal person?”

“Cereal, I guess.” Yaz takes the seat next to Ari, dropping her backpack next to her and wrapping her arms around herself. She watches as Faith moves around the kitchen, taking down a bowl, pouring the cereal, opening the fridge.

“You’re not lactose intolerant or anything, are you?” she asks, a jug of milk in one hand.

Yaz shakes her head. “No.”

“Cool.” Faith starts pouring the milk. “Some of these girls have wild food allergies. Did you know you can be allergic to cucumbers?” 

“I think you can be allergic to anything,” Yaz says. “My sister’s got a friend who can’t eat half the spices my parents use. Tea is really boring when she’s over.”

“Huh. You learn something new every day, I guess.” Faith carries the bowl over to Yaz, dropping it down in front of her on the table. 

“Thanks.”

“No problem, kid.” Faith hops back up onto the counter. “So. How does new Slayer orientation work around here? Do you have a video?”

“No video,” Ari says. “Tia always tells me it’s better for the girls to have the conversation with us directly.”

Faith nods. “Tia’s a smart woman.” She looks at Yaz. “How old are you? Fifteen? Sixteen?”

“Seventeen,” Yaz says, around a mouthful of cereal. 

Faith whistles. “Damn. And no one’s figured it out yet? Impressive.”

Yaz lets her spoon fall into the bowl with a clink. “I still don’t get it,” she says. “What’s different about me?”

In a flash, Faith leaps off the counter and swings a fist at Yaz. In an instant, Yaz is on her feet, her arm flinging Faith’s out of the way, blocking the blow. She meets Faith’s eyes. There’s a smugness in Faith’s expression as she backs off, hopping back up onto the counter.

“That’s what’s different,” she says. “Most people could never react that fast.”

Yaz frowns. “I just thought everyone else was really good at keeping under control.”

Faith shrugs. “Some people are. Especially the ones your age, who got Called as little kids. But most people? Nah. You and me could snap ‘em like toothpicks.”

Yaz makes a face at the visual. “I don’t want to snap anyone like a toothpick.”

“Relax, kid. I’m joking. You’re not going to snap anyone.” Faith pauses. “Well, except for the vampires. And you don’t have to fight them, either, if you don’t want to. It’s a brave new world for Slayers these days.”

“What Faith means,” Ari says, “is that you have special powers because you are one of many girls and women Called to be a Slayer. Slayers fight vampires and demons and other evils around the world. When Faith was young, there was only one Slayer, and when she died a new one would get the powers.”

“Until there were two,” Faith adds with a grin.

“Right,” Ari says, “but that was a fluke. If Buffy had died, there would have only been one.”

“Buffy did die, somewhere in there,” Faith says. She glances at Yaz. “I was in prison. Missed all the fun.”

“Who’s Buffy?” Yaz asks again, already lost. 

“That’s a complicated question,” Faith says cheerfully.

Ari gives her a look.

“Fine.” Faith sips from her mug. “Buffy was the Slayer two before me. She died, got some CPR, came back, another girl was Called, that girl died, and here I am. And then she died a little later, and her friend brought her back. That’s when I was in prison.” She pauses. “Oh, and we’re married now.” She looks at Ari. “Does that cover it?”

“That’s the short version,” Ari says. “And then Buffy’s friend Willow did some very impressive magic that Called every girl who had the potential to be a Slayer.”

“Which means that we had a lot of toddlers with some very badass superpowers,” Faith finishes. “Present company included.”

“Oh.” Yaz tries to absorb all this. “So— it’s not just that everyone is better at hiding it than me, or—”

Faith shakes her head. “Nope.”

“I—” Yaz can’t speak. Everything she thought she knew about herself is falling away. She feels tears spilling out of her eyes, and she doesn’t really know why, except that she’s just feeling more than she thinks she’s ever felt before. 

In moments, Ari’s hand is on her shoulder, and Faith is off the counter and sitting in the chair next to Yaz. She leans forward, holding Yaz’s gaze. 

“Look, Yaz,  I’m not good with all this emotional sh— stuff. Pretty much known for it, actually. They don’t really like to let me around the new Slayers. But you should know, whatever you think is wrong with you, it’s not.” She takes a deep breath. “Being a Slayer, it— it’s not always the easiest thing in the world. You’ve got to deal with all sorts of stuff the average teenager never even thinks about. But it’s not a flaw.” She sits back. “Superpowers aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. I know that better than anyone. But hey, at the end of the day, you’ve still got superpowers, right?”

Yaz opens and closes her mouth, trying to figure out how to articulate everything that’s running through her mind. “I— I didn’t know,” she finally says, feeling sort of silly. “I didn’t know I was any different.”

“Yeah.” Faith stretches, resting her arms behind her head. “You were missing out on a lot of support, there, kid.”

“So, er—” Yaz tries desperately to wipe the tears from her face. “What do I do now?”

“You have a choice,” Ari says quietly. 

Yaz turns to look at her.

“You can join us,” she explains. “You’d learn how to fight vampires and demons, and you’d become part of the larger fight against those forces of evil.” She pauses. “Or you can pretend this never happened. You can just go home and go about your life. We have enough Slayers now that that’s always an option.”

“If I join,” Yaz says slowly, “do I have to live here?”

Ari shakes her head. “Most of our girls live with their parents, actually. And everyone who’s underage is in school full time, whether or not they live with us. It’s more like an after-school activity. You come by a few times a week, we train you up, and then you get promoted to patrols. Which we’ll pay you for.”

“It’s dangerous,” Faith warns. “And hard. But it’s a hell of a lot better than when it was just me and Buffy. And we keep you as safe as we can.”

“Especially at the start,” Ari adds. “We don’t send you into situations you’re not ready for.”

Yaz hesitates. “You— you’d teach me how to use my strength?”

Ari nods. “And you’d be around other Slayers. Other girls like you.”

“Okay.” Yaz takes a deep breath. “I’ll join, then.” And then she pauses. “What do I tell my parents?”

“Just say you’re in a kickboxing class or something,” Faith says.

“We can take care of it,” Ari says, giving Faith a look. “We generally mask ourselves as a martial arts club. We can make it look as official as you need. No charge, of course.”

Yaz hesitates, trying to think how she’s going to present this when she actually talks to her family about it. “Okay.” 

“I’ll give you our card,” Ari adds, fumbling in her pockets. “That way you can call us whenever. And of course our doors are always open to you. Even if you just want to hang out.”

“Okay.” Yaz takes the offered card. It’s got the words Sheffield Girls’ Martial Arts Academy on it, along with a phone number, email address, and street address. She stares at the street address. “Is this where we are now?”

“Yeah,” Ari says. 

Yaz looks up, the beginnings of a smile on her face. “I live at Park Hill. It’s really close.” Just fifteen minutes’ walk, she thinks. Could be ten, if she speeds.

“Great!” Ari grins. “We’ll be seeing a lot of you, then, I hope.”

Yaz smiles back. Suddenly, she feels so much lighter than she ever has before. “Yeah. You will.” She hesitates. “I should probably get home, though. My sister’s been lying to my parents for me.”

Faith leans forward again, clapping her on the shoulder. “It was good meeting you, Yaz.”

“You too,” Yaz replies. 

“Come by tomorrow at four,” Ari says. “We’ll get you started with some training.”

Yaz nods. “I’ll be there.” 

“And Yaz, we can set you up with counseling, too, if you need it.” Ari hesitates. “This can be a really hard time, emotionally. We’ve got a team of therapists trained to work with Slayers. Some of them are Slayers themselves. Just let us know.”

“Okay.” Yaz bites at the skin on the inside of her bottom lip. “That might be a good idea.”

“All right. Send us an email and I’ll get you in touch with our coordinator.”

“Okay,” Yaz says again. “Thank you. I—”

“It’s all right,” Ari says. “You’re always welcome here, Yasmin.”

“See you tomorrow.” Yaz picks up her backpack. She hovers awkwardly for a moment, not sure whether she should say anything else. She settles on a quick, “Bye,” before walking through the hall, past the living room full of Slayers, and out into the bright daylight. 

She only gets a few steps in before bursting into exhilarated laughter: she feels so, so free, after what she’s learned. Her walk quickly turns into a run, and she sprints all the way home, finally feeling like she’s running towards something instead of away.

2017

“Hiya!” Yaz walks into the training room and sets down her bag, moving into the middle of the floor to stretch next to her friend Kiki. They’re early for their class— no one else is here yet.

“Hey there, Yaz, how’s it going?” Kiki’s lying flat on her back, doing leg-lifts. She turns her head to look at Yaz, her ponytail swinging. 

“All right.” Yaz sits with her legs apart, reaching to touch her toe on her right side. “My sister’s driving me up the wall. And you know how I never told my parents I was going out at night?”

Kiki makes a face. “Yeah.”

Yaz reaches for her left toe. “They found out.” She huffs. “I don’t get the problem. I’m eighteen.”

“Just tell them it’s a job,” Kiki says. “It’s not a lie.”

“Yeah, but then they’ll want to know what the job is, and where I got it, and I’ll have to make up loads more from there.” Yaz moves to center, reaching as far forward as she can manage. “I don’t know. I should probably get an actual job to throw them off the scent.”

Kiki finishes with her leg lifts and goes into a plank position. “Just say they hired you for an instructor at the martial arts club. That’s what I tell my family.”

“Maybe.” Yaz comes back to a sitting position. “Although it’s hard to explain why they need me at night.”

“Special moonlight classes,” Kiki offers. “It’s the new hot yoga.”

Yaz laughs. “Yeah, okay.”

Just then, the door opens, and Faith comes in, followed by an unfamiliar blonde woman. She isn’t in town all that often, but when she is, she teaches a few classes— hers are always Yaz’s favorite. She teaches them all how to improvise, how to fight for your life when your life is all you’ve got. 

“Hey,” she says. “How’s my favorite Slayer branch?” She nods at Yaz. “Yaz. How’s Slayer life treating you?”

“It’s all right,” Yaz says, grinning. “You?”

“Could be worse.” Faith gestures at the blonde woman. “Have you met Buffy?”

Yaz jumps to her feet. “You’re Buffy?”

Buffy rolls her eyes. “They put me on such a pedestal, honestly.” She holds out a hand. “Buffy Summers.”

“Yasmin Khan.”

“Buffy’s going to teach with me today,” Faith says. “Show you what real sparring looks like.”

“I don’t know, Faith,” Buffy says. “These girls look pretty strong. And I’m pretty sure you’re getting weak in your old age.”

In an instant, Faith tackles Buffy, plowing her to the floor. “I’ll show you weak,” she mutters.

Buffy laughs. The two grapple on the floor for a few minutes, and then Buffy flips Faith onto her back. There’s something warm in Yaz’s stomach, watching the way the two of them interact: they seem so completely at ease with each other.

“All right, you win,” Faith says.

Buffy rolls off her, and they both sit up. 

“Sorry,” Buffy says. “That’s not very professional of us.”

“We’re long past professionalism, babe.” Faith leans back onto her hands. “Anyway, what are they going to do, fire us?”

Buffy laughs. “Yeah, okay.” She gets up, brushing herself off. “I guess we can skip the warmup now.”

“You wish.” Faith drops into a split.

The other students have started to trickle in, putting down bags in the corner of the room, moving onto the floor to stretch. A few of them give Faith and Buffy (now stretching together at the front of the room) stares, but for the most part, it’s just like how every class starts. 

Until Faith jumps to her feet.

“All right, let’s go!” she calls. “Those of you who know me, welcome back to my class. Those of you who don’t, hi. I’m Faith. For some reason, they’re still letting me teach you.” She steps back, gesturing at Buffy. “And today I’m joined by my wife. The famous Buffy Summers. Please hold your applause.”

The class laughs as they settle into their lines. Yaz stands near the front, following every move.

She really does love this whole Slayer thing. It’s been about a year, and she’s still looking forward to every class. They’ve just moved her onto her first evening patrol, and she loves that too: she gets to walk around Sheffield with her friends, actually using the skills she’s spent the last year learning. She gets to use her body, and finally, finally, she doesn’t have to hide her strength. 

It’s exhilarating.

She’s never felt this way before. Moving with so many other people, watching Faith and Buffy spar with an elegance Yaz has never known she’s always dreamed of, panting after a particularly intense bout with another Slayer: it’s amazing, really. She feels— she feels like herself, when she’s training or Slaying or even just hanging out with the other Slayers.

She’d never realized, before all this, how much she felt like she was hiding before. From herself. From her parents. From the kids at school. 

It’s devastating, really, figuring it all out. But at least she’s free. 

When the class ends, Faith comes up and gives her a high five. “Nice work today, Yaz.”

Yaz beams. 

—

2018

“Who even are you?” the man asks.

Yaz has been called out to a scene— there’s a big blue thing in the middle of the woods, she’s been told, and it might be nothing, but someone’s got to check it out. She’s a little proud, actually— she hasn’t gotten many solo assignments yet. 

“Don’t worry about it,” she tells him. “I’m here to help.” She holds up a pen and a notebook “Can you tell me more about what happened?”

The man explains: he was trying to get his bike from a tree, glowing lines showed up in the air, he touched them, and this giant blue thing appeared.

“Touch it,” he says.

Yaz does. It’s cold, so cold it burns her fingers. “Weird,” she says. “Haven’t seen anything like this before.” She shrugs. “I’ll have to take some pictures, bring it back to my boss.” 

“Do you come across this sort of thing often?” the man asks.

Yaz eyes the strange object. “Sort of,” she says. “This one’s new. But you could say it’s sort of my job, dealing with stuff like this.” She glances at the man. He looks familiar— she can’t quite place it. “Hey, did you go to Redlands Primary, by any chance?”

His eyes widen in surprise. “Yeah! Yeah, I did.” He squints, staring at her for a moment. “Oh! Yaz?”

“Yeah!” Yaz’s face splits into a grin. “Ryan, right?”

“Oh, my God, it’s you!” Ryan looks her up and down. “You’re doing well, then?”

“Yeah. You?”

Ryan glances at the strange object, then up at his bike. “You know. I have my days.”

Yaz laughs. “Come on,” she says. “I can’t do anything else with this tonight. Let’s get out of here.”

And then Ryan’s phone rings. 

It’s a good thing Yaz has brought her car.

Fifteen minutes later, she’s on a train with Ryan and his nan and his step-grandad and a few other people, trying to figure out what on Earth is going on. Yaz is used to the supernatural by now— she’s seen vampires, she’s seen demons, she’s seen witches, she’s even seen weird enchanted robots. But this doesn’t feel like anything she’s seen before. It feels— different.

Even more so when a woman crashes through the ceiling, slamming into the floor, and immediately saves all their lives. Yaz starts asking her questions, trying to figure out who she is, what’s going on, how it all fits into the world she’s come to know. 

It doesn’t fit.

The woman says she’s an alien. Assuming aliens exist, but after learning about vampires, Yaz will believe just about anything. She gets them off the train, and Yaz drives all of them back in the Watcher Council’s car. 

“Oh!” the woman says, the second she sees the clove of garlic hanging off the rear view mirror. “You’re a vampire Slayer!”

“Where did you hear about vampire Slayers?” Yaz asks. She was trying to keep it a bit low-key, what with Ryan and his nan and his step-grandad all piled into the back, but it’s too late now.

“Don’t know. I get around. Pick up on loads of stuff.” The woman settles into the front seat. “Don’t suppose you’ve got lights and a siren.”

Yaz stares. “No. We’re top secret.”

“Pity.”

The next few days are a blur. They save Karl from the crane, but Ryan’s nan dies. Yaz attends the funeral: she didn’t know Grace all that well, but what she does know is only positive. After that, she helps the Doctor— that’s the woman’s name, the Doctor— find new clothes, and then she winds up on adventure after adventure, the likes of which she never dreamed of.

2022

It’s been nine years, for Yaz. Nine years since she ran away from school. Nine years since the other Slayers found her. It hasn’t always been easy— there’s a lot she has needed to work through. She’s still working through it. But— things are good now. She has the Doctor, she has their travels. It’s stable, insofar as life with the Doctor can be stable. And every time she comes home, there’s always a gaggle of Slayers ready to welcome her. 

She never could have dreamed, when she was seventeen and at the end of her rope, that life could turn out this well. But she’s glad it did. 

#doctor who #buffy the vampire slayer #btvs #yasmin khan #faith lehane #buffy summers #fuffy #izzy flint #crossover #ready to be strong