#this is the funniest shit i've heard

[imtheyellow]

I JUST LEARNED RED EARED SLIDERS ARE BANNED IN NEW JERSEY HELPP

Leo's hating New Jersey bit just got 100 times funnier 😭😭

Leo: So, you guys from Jersey?

Leo: This is why you never go to New Jersey!

Splinter: But that would mean sending my sons to the most horrifying hideous place they've ever been!

Leo: Jersey?

#literally the funniest shit I've heard all day #MF IS ACTUALLY BANNED FROM NEW JERSEY #no wonder why he doesn't like there 💀 #rottmnt #rise leo #rottmnt leo #rottmnt fanart

[nuklear-sauce]

Couple goals is stabbing yourself and asking your partner to do it again for you

#sherlock and co #sherlock & co #guess who started listening to it last night and absolutely died not even 10 minutes in #everyone literally go listen to sherlock & co on spotify it is the most funniest shit i've ever heard

[strawbbz]

i love ur serious art but i also LIVE for your matt drawing where is looks so fucking goofy like yes girl put him in the meat grinder

Thank you

I try my best to depict Mattholomule as cocky and punchable as much as I possibly can

#mattholomule #toh mattholomule #toh #toh fanart #the owl house #the owl house fanart #also #'yes girl put him the meat grinder' is the funniest shit i've heard in a bit #reminds me of Jerma

[isolophilian]

someone said that in next week's episode preview Annabeth and Grover are splashing Percy with water from the fountain like he's a beached whale and i cannot stop thinking about it

EDIT: someone commented the original post

#im sorry whoever you were but that is the funniest shit I've heard all day #i can't find that post now 😭 #percy jackson #walker scobell #annabeth chase #leah sava jeffries #grover underwood #aryan simhadri #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo tv show #pjo tv spoilers #isoceratops

[onemightygoldfish]

I saw someone who is aromantic, asexual and agender call themselves a triple a battery yesterday, and it honestly hasn't let me go since

#like excuse me #that's the funniest shit I've ever heard in my life #asexual #aromantic #agender #alphabet mafia #lgbtqia #triple a battery #aaa battery

[dahliadear]

rotating this post in my head at the velocity of a thousand suns wooshwooshwoosh

#quail #quail stuck upside down #laid an egg about it #facebook repost #the funniest shit I've heard all month

[callmearcturus]

oh god so i was at work today and i forget what the topic of convo was but i apparently said something that made my coworker go "(Arc) I don't get you, you just seem so sheltered"

and when i say

i literally laughed so loud i had to muffle my mouth with both hands

gurrrrrrrl i burned the shelter down, i just don't walk into work wearing my Ask Me About Arson shirt okay, worksona arc is sooooo different from the other arcs

#literally the funniest shit i've heard all week

[scrawnytreedemon]

hi! it’s me. tumblr user renegaderhapsodos coming to you live from your inbox(wow!)

what is a crack headcanon that you rotate in your head constantly/semi constantly?

personally for me it’s the one my sister forced upon me, that being dio brando was cloud strife’s dad the whole time.

WOAH cris!!! no way!!!!!

THAT'S SO FUCKING GOOD OML 😭😭😭 HE COULD... HE WOULD... adding to the crackshit crackcanon family tree. President Shinra move out the way, Dio can get it!

You've stumbled upon a can of worms, the issue now being which one I get to pick out. My whole mind is insane crack-headcanons. I build dynasties off these crack-canons!

I guess while not crack-crack, I do rotate the theory of Cloud potentially being one of President Shinra's bastards. We have two confirmed bastards, Lazard Deusericus and Evan Townshend, both of whom are blond and blue-eyed, like the President and Rufus, and Cloud. How Claudia Strife hit it off with the most powerful man on the planet beats me, but the guy has his ways.

This also makes all interactions between Cloud and Rufus much funnier to me because I am a sick bastard.

I hope this shall suffice 🙏

#scrawny rambles #scrawny answers #ffvii #cloud strife #and dio brando too ig #to be clear i *rotate* it i don't necessarily stand by it in any meaningful sense #i've heard other people hate it when everyone in a given property is related to each other #but to me that's the funniest fucking shit i love it #it's why i kept watching once up/n a t/me even after it got bad #i just HAD to see what other nonsense they could pull #that shit is like crack to me #you MUST understand! #plus small world ykno ykno #world's worst community 😭 #but yes so true bestie dio brando would totally father cloud strife #i still need to pick it up again (was reading the part 3 manga before losing my place in the pdf) #but isn't one of the later characters one of his kids? that guy can get it on #even and especially between space and time #nothing stops dio

[iwasbored777]

Someone said that if Miles lived in Europe his name would've been Kilometers and I think of this every day 😭😭😭😭😭

#That's the funniest shit I've heard in my life #miles morales #spider man into the spider verse

[felizusnavidad]

IN THE HEIGHTS countdown: 3 DAYS!

song for today:

VANESSA: daniela told me what you did for me and it’s honestly the sweetest thing anyone ever did for me now, what can i say or do to possibly repay you for your kindness? USNAVI: ...how do you get this gold shit off?

#song for today: champagne #HA! #you guys don't know that but i am actually writing this on november 1st while listening to in the heights #(i don't know why i just needed to say that) #one of my favourite songs and the funniest one #HOW DO YOU TAKE THIS GOLD SHIT OFF will be forever the funniest line i've ever heard in my entire life #but then again i think lin is the funniest guy in the whole wide world #where do i find a guy like him? #huh? #jesus fucking christ why do i always have to be LIKE THIS in the tags of every single post of mine #please don't mind me i just drank my third coffee #i can barely handle myself #TWO DAYS!!! #three* #have i just made a mistake how do you delete this- #it won't be long now* #Spotify

[theauthor27]

Just heard the funniest song lyric of all time give me a sec to process this.

#it was “she wanna suck e left bullock yeah she very specific” which is the funniest shit I've ever heard #look at me. look at me. i am the op now

[elitehoe]

You know it killed Matt not to create a target bit for BTE and that's probably why they went on a hiatus

#saying they couldn't manage a target is quite possibly the funniest shit I've heard #i can say target employees do not give a fuck what you do in their store #like that was not a good metaphor #its a funny ass joke tho #gonna start tagging the elite #my favorite target managers 😍 #can you tell I'm trying to make myself feel better with jokes?? #the elite the elite the elite #matt jackson #young bucks #aew

[jackhues]

watched bunts' spittin chicklets interview- and oh man, it's gold

hearing him say that after hockey, his sport was volleyball just means a lot to me.

#i'll actually take volleyball over hockey tho #also i wanna know what he said to get the red card #bcz i've NEVER seen a red card for chirping in volleyball. he either said smth insane or it wasn't for chirping #he's such a little menace. talking shit and chirping in a sport like volleyball #that's actually the funniest fucking shit i've ever heard #and not even a titans game or smth. but TDSSAA #FOR SCHOOL #michael bunting

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Actually embarrassed for you. All the actors in the world and you pick Jensen Ackles to obsess over. He's the type of man that breaks apart a banana when he's eating it becuase just eating it would be too gay. Get help xoxo.

Omg. You’re so right. Thank you for showing me the way. Jensen Ackles is clearly deplorable and too much of a toxic man to like his acting. As you say, he’s clearly the type of man to avoid eating or putting things in his mouth in any sort of way that could appear unmanly. I was so in the wrong and should never have said anything. 

Anyways, here’s Jensen sucking on a straw. He must have forgotten he’s afraid of putting things in his mouth that day.

#I'm dying laughing over here #this was the funniest shit I've heard in awhile #I really hope it's obvious I'm being sarcastic

[meezer]

A dog walks into a bar and says "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."

#funniest shit I've ever heard

[ghostypetrainer]

Good evening Ghost type, would you happen to have some links to lore about all the zoroark that have gathered in Nimbasa? No worries either way!

I don't really feel like digging around for it, but that's okay bc that just gives me another chance to post more about them!

There's a surprising number of Zoroark in Nimbasa City. They're drawn there by Ingo's prominent presence in the city, so they see it as a safe place. Ingo in turn often helps them find work, or frequents their places of business. They often frequent the subway, though only a few of them actually use the battle portion of it. They're like a little community! They even have a group chat... except for Mary who is a child and is therefore not allowed in the group chat, lmao. They have their own memes and everything.

Also the Jenny working in Nimbasa City is a Zoroark, and may or may not abuse her position to help the community.

Azora is a shiny Zoroark that also happens to be Ingo's littermate. She has a big punk aesthetic going on, and looks the most like what one would think of if they think of a Zoroark taking human form. She has a Sylveon and Crobat, and ran away from an abusive home at a young age. If she had more Pokemon, she'd probably ride the Battle Subway on occasion to bother Ingo.

(she bothers him anyways)

She adopted Mary, a Zorua who was abandoned by her family. She loves fancy hats and frilly dresses, and potato chips- except pickle ones. She has a Munna! She bites. :)

Char is a Depot Agent that Ingo hired who mostly works on the Singles Line. They're a nerd who loves trains and their three Pokemon- Clefable, Togekiss, and Snorlax only know one move and that move is Metronome. Emmet thinks that is verrry funny. They/them nonbinary.

Erin is a barista at the coffee shop that the Nimbasa Trio frequents! She loves making coffee. She likes interacting with customers less. Often thinks about biting the problem customers, but restrains herself. She has a Trubbish that eats the cafe's garbage.

Hiroshi is the token 'my wife is soft' guy who is the step-father to two daughters who he adores and spoils rotten. Just an average salaryman who happens to be a Zoroark. He's originally from Sinnoh. His wife and step-kids know he's a Zoroark. It's chill. He doesn't have any Pokemon but his wife has a Panpour.

Anita is a Zoroark who works as a gym trainer at Elesa's gym, who Ingo also had a hand in getting her hired. She has a full team of Rotom. She loves Rotom. Her room is covered in Rotom merch. She might need an intervention?

There's obviously more! But these are the primary ones I've come up with. I figure there's probably around twenty or so living in Nimbasa- a small fraction of the population, but a pretty large amount to all be living in one place. Some, like Ingo, hide their Zoroark traits but others choose to embrace them. They're also all ready at a moment's notice to spring into action for each other.

#asks #zoroark possession au #actually just came up with the metronome thing literally last night so this is funny timing #char voice: what if I bring a metronome only team to a battle facility. what then #emmet: that's the funniest shit i've ever heard in my life keep doing that