#this is the funniest shit we ever done

[ordinarydanette]

Still can't believe sometimes how a joke can in fact, become a essential part of the plot of something, and you just become horrified and yet extremely amused by the social experiment you put the characters through. Truly a experience.

#yes this is about megalup crossover #i lose my mind #my friend loses her mind #and she already said that she would kill me twice #this is the funniest shit we ever done #danette.megaman #danette.rants #danette.lupin

[gadgetini]

i think hes one of those people who just use jenga bricks for making little houses and roads

#ive done this like a trillion times btw #always with someone else and we end up using other toys as people #and it always results in the FUNNIEST shit ever mane #playing around with dolls doesnt even match playing house with jenga bricks #or playing drivethru… idk why i played drivethru with these so much #homestar runner #homsar

[timegears-moved]

this finale is cool and all but im sorry i cannot take it seriously

#bwark #aoc lb #astor is such a lame villain that it's funny to me #he makes fucking roblox death noises in his fight how am i supposed to keep a straight face #OOF OOH AH AH CURSE YOU OOF AH #also there's just. not much done with him?? #like people were theorizing about the prophet of the calamity after botw's release so to see them actually go that route in the prequel was #really cool but it's just. nothing #fucked up what happened to him but we hate his pussy #also i know the egg fight was supposed to be emotional but i lost my shit when it pulled out that butter knife of a sword #this thing is TINY and it's trying ti be threatening that's the funniest shit ever #just fucking kick it over KDJWBISJABMEND

[leatherbookmark]

i had op blocked so ray’s rebloggathon was tragically Absent from my dash but now that i caught up, *hyeju voice* el oh el

#and OF COURSE it's this user lmao #and OF COURSE they have a piss poor grasp on jgy as a character #'jgy setting up a 10+ year scheme that would allow him to reach the highest possible power in the cultivation world' lichrally did not #happen. like of course you think wwx is Morally Better than 90% of the characters if you see them as those villainous caricatures #(also the idea that wwx is the protagonist because he's morally Good and we're supposed to root for him is amazing #because idk op's country nor its curriculum but we read crime and punishment in high school. books where the protagonist has Something #Wrong With Them are not some kinda advanced shit you have to go through an initiation and a blood pact to see. its high school #'well Y is bad because everything they've ever done is bad and evil. meanwhile X is good because everything they've done was either #good or fully justified or forced onto him by the circumstances' is op aware how silly this sounds #jesus the more i scroll down the more bullshit i see. jgy antis are notorious for pulling shit out of their ass and trusting our number one #source of information sect leader yao but this is just. very funny. jgy's decade+ plan of killing people to achieve the highest position in #the jianghu. the way they believe 100% that jgy has killed jrs. the way they clearly got the sect he exterminated for jrs's murder mixed up #with the he sect that was murdered for xy yes but UNDER JGS'S RULE. it's all there! #'i really don’t think i’m reading the same book as some of these people' are you reading the book though #shrimp thoughts #ok i'm gonna go to sleep but gosh #the funniest thing is that people aren't even fully condemning wwx for doing the fucked up shit he did. i've never seen anyone insist that #wwx is actually the villain or that you're supposed to hate him. just that he had his moments of unnecessary cruelty #WHICH IS UNDERSTANDABLE wc and wlj killed everyone in the lotus pier i understand fully why he'd go there. but the same understanding #is not being extended to jgy and his cruelty is being used as a gotcha re: why he's actually the worst evilvillain who doesn't deserve #sympathy. and like bro no they are BOTH exhibiting unnecessary cruelty because they're driven by fury and hatred for people who ruined thei #lives. they're sitting at the same fucking table! but noooooo wwx is an angel. come the fuck on

[lesbiten]

and immediately after i catch arceus my game bugs and no longer plays music or pokemon noises

#funniest shit ever. game said okay youre done we can go home now #simon says

[somethingthatbadpeopledo]

LOOK AT THESE TAGS I FOUND ON MY BLOG 😭 THEYRE FROM MID 2019 SO I WOULDVE BEEN LIKE FOURTEEN BUT. NO EXCUSE

THERES NO NEED TO EXPLAIN YOURSELF FRIEND HE HOODWINKED US ALL 😩

#i legit used to say travis was my favorite brother which like. #ignoring all the terrible stuff hes said and done hes legit the least funny of the three #the funniest shit he's ever done is being extremely embarrassing on social media lol #we need a second twitch meltdown asap itll make me very happy #thank you for showing that every human is capable of growth and that even the best of us have made mistakes <3 #your old tags are so funny i need to try to dig up more of mine :) #ask

[unicarcass]

honestly if u ever wish u had known us in our school years i guarantee we would have had ur back cuz we are weird kid to weird kid solidarity. i have kicked people's shit in many a time for a friend

#riot.txt #i think objectively the funniest move our parents ever pulled was taking us out to a fancy pizza dinner #when we got a 2 day out of school suspension cuz i beat the shit out of this kid that'd been bullying us all year #(and the school had done nothing about it) #we were so worried we were gonna get in trouble about it but no. congrats for not taking their shit have a pizza

[lovebugism]

Imagine rough sex with eds and you guys just break the bed and you have to tell wayne

✶ ┄ BROKEN BEDS !

summary: you and eddie break his bed. the worst part is having to tell wayne. pairing: eddie munson / f!reader warning: smut! eddie being the cutest human alive! a wild appearance from uncle wayne! 18+ mdni! a/n: i need everyone to know that when i wrote this draft, i titled it "breaking bed" and it made me chuckle a lil. anyway, thanks for your request anon! enjoy xoxo

( MASTERLIST )

when eddie muson fucks, he fucks like a wild animal

he grunts with each of his rough thrusts, brown eyes somehow darker with lust while his untamed curls cling to his sweaty forehead

and you just let him drill into you because, truth be told, you love him this way

you hold the backs of your thighs and keep yourself wide open for him while he fucks so deeply into you

he leans over you, one hand white-knuckled where it grips his headboard, and the other wrapped around your throat

not tight enough to choke you exactly, but to make sure your eyes stay locked on his as he fucks you for all your worth

the headboard slams into the wall in time with each of his thrusts, rhythmic bang bang bangs that you’d be scared are leaving a dent in the wall if eddie wasn’t making you feel so good

he tilts your jaw to the side to expose your neck to him

and he hides his face in the sweaty crook of it, seeking refuge there while he nips and suckles at the warmed skin

you just keep begging for him to go harder and deeper and faster as he fucks you more and more stupid

and eddie complies without question

he revels in the way you keen each time he pounds into you and how your face scrunches up and your back arches for him

your toes curl and your legs tense up so hard they start to quiver

and right when you’re about to come, the bed suddenly jolts and dips beneath you, accompanied by loud crashing sound

it scares the shit out of you and you squeal while eddie lets out a grunt of surprise

because his bed just fucking broke

and it isn’t the most surprising thing in the world, the thing is about as old as he is

but it does take the two of you off guard 

all you can do in the moment is laugh about it

and eddie barely wastes another second before he starts fucking you again

because his bed is already broken, who cares if it gets more fucked up?

plus he knew how close you were to your orgasm and you just look so pretty when you come <3

the worst part about it though is telling wayne

because there’s no way he’s not going to notice

and eddie can’t exactly sleep on a crooked bed

so he just comes up with the shittiest excuse known to man “so the thing is... i was… jumping on the bed…”

wayne furrows his brows “the hell were you doing jumping on your bed?”

“well, you see, i was just, you know… trying to… heal my inner child…”

“…what the fuck does that mean?”

but, like, obviously wayne knows

typically you’re good at keeping eddie in check and sometimes he can hear you saying you don’t want to fuck while wayne’s in the house

and that’s a part of the reason he likes you so much bc you don’t want to put him through that trauma

but you guys are young and in love and sometimes keeping your hands off of each other feels like the hardest thing in the world

so he knows exactly how the bed broke

but hearing eddie trying to lie about it is the funniest thing on the planet

shopping for a new bed frame is easily the most adult thing you and eddie have ever done

and the only one he can afford is a star wars themed one in the children’s section

eddie groans and acts annoyed about having to get one that’s so childish but you know he secretly loves it

because the headboard is shaped like the cock pit of the millennium falcon with lightsabers painted on the foot of the bed

you try to put it together without wayne’s help while he’s at work

and you’re like “how long do you give it before we break this one?”

“an hour if you wine and dine me first <3”

have any blurb requests? send em here if you want!

#published by bug #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson smut #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine #eddie munson imagine #st headcanons #eddie spaghetti hc

[fieryvoid-scout]

-

#I really love MSQ roulettes sometimes bc you get the funniest shit ever happen to u #it was just the ultima battle for ARR nothing crazy done it probably in what feels like the triple digits #we complete the first phase #it’s kinda iffy bc the healer is like back in the corner doing aoe heals #and the fairy is with the healer #but Then We Get To the Second Fight #healer stands in citadel buster #doesn’t really seem to realize? they’re taking dmg #I’m a BRD and we got a SMN and a WAR so like it’s fine #so then we get to when the four air ships fall down #THE HEALER GOES TO THE ORANGE DOT IN THE CORNER AND DIES IMMEDIATELY #I’m a BRD I can’t do shit for this #SMN realizes the SCH is dead #swift casts raise on them…. only for the SCH to summon their fairy and immediately die to the purple aoe again #while the SMN hard cast raises them the tank dies and then I die and then the other two die again bc the healer doesn’t raise the tank #it’s fine it’s whatever we go again surely the SCH realizes now we have to stack mid #fast forward to the same point in the fight #healer dies to the same thing again #it’s fine SMN can swiftcast #only… the SCH hasn’t ever stopped standing in the citadel busters #and since the SMN predicted it coming the healer was rezzed before it was finished #so predictably the healer rezzes in the line of fire of citadel buster and summons their fairy to IMMEDIATELY die to citadel buster #I WAS SCREAM LAUGHINGGGG BROO HANFJWBFJSJF #I was laughing so hard I kept fucking up my dots #I am so sure that this was their first time being a SCH #I could physically feel them staring at their hotbars thru my game #like I’m not even mad I am STILL LAUGHING abt it #we were able to get to the dps check tho so the SMN hard raised me and I popped all my buffs then dots and then LBed before the bar filled #so the SMN could then immediately LB3 and then we took care of the rest and I commed that SMN bc without them I just woulda had to leave bc #I’m a BRD I can’t do anything in a lvl 50 dungeon all I know is buff dot eat hot chip and lie

[cyb3rspyd3r]

E! 42 MILES HEADCANONS ☆.

summary: e!42 miles relationship headcanons , whats its like being in a relationship with him.. , slightly suggestive !

! implied black fem reader

a/n: these are from my dr , so they're probably not accurate to how he actually is but you can leave if you dont like it .. anyways enjoy !.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

hates seeing you all happy happy with boys other than the ones he trusts , he WILL come kiss you , hug you , ect

nigga is hella protective of you , watch someone get flamed for speaking bad about you 💀

his mom teased him for weeks about how he liked getting his hair done by you more than he liked getting it done by her

"mm , someone's in love huh? you normally only let me do your hair mijo." "mami she's my girlfriend chill"

he lovess seeing you in his clothes like he ill take pictures of you/with you with it on and giggle at it for hours .. days .. weeks ..

he know how to do braids , including box braids .. where my black readers at? he DEFINITELY sometimes does ur hair for u

"babyy , you got $180 for my hair?" "goddamn $180? go sit down ma i'll go buy the hair rq we not doin ts"

he is REAL serious about your attitude , this man Will grab you by your neck and tell you what place you're in ..

he only accepts your attitude when you're on your period , but he'll make sure you tone in down by sayin "ight mami chill .. i get it u on ya cycle and shit but chill"

KISSESS KISSESS AND MORE KISSESS .. this nigga LIVES for kisses. always kissin you in public or not and does NOT care

loves neck kisses , he started doing them to u when you're busy and he wants attention so when he saw you doing it to him it made him giggle

yall are the GOOFIEST AND FUNNIEST couple ever , wholee buncha play fights and laughing and shit

you can't take him seriously for shit , yall end up crackin up in the middle of an argument

"yo im sick of this shit bruh unadd him this his 3rd time textin u" ".. shess minee you stay away from her its not her timee ! head ass" "yo gtfo 😭"

he let you do his edges one day because you thought it was funny and begged him to , when he found out you tried to take a picture he stayed in his room until you agreed not to (you secretly still have one)

ARCADE DATES ARE A MUST (saying this cs i love them..) he always teases you before the two of you get there on how he's gonna beat u in every game

his hugs are the best , u could be breaking down and one hug from him is gonna make u feel all rainbows and sunshine ..

nigga is ALWAYS spoiling you.. you want it? mention that you want it around him? you gon get it within the next week/few days ..

ur house is his house .. his house is your house .. yall always at each other house..

"lets go home now im tired .." "which one?"

any insecurities? he gon kiss em

your #1 supporter no matter what you do or how wrong you are

whenever yall play roblox and someone stands on your head he WILL shoot them if its a game where he can kill people

he actually gets jealous so easily

HES ACTUALLY RLLY CLINGY

i had fun making these .. ill make more some other time

taglist: @marci-jean @gw3ndyswonderland @hiimayee @nokkihy @spiderheartzz @all444miles @444morales

#miles morales #atsv #miles x reader #spiderman atsv #e42 miles #earth 42 miles x reader #into the spider verse #across the spiderverse #earth 42 miles morales x reader #miles headcanons

[crazyintheeast]

One of the funniest thing that has ever happened to me was during the Iraq War. One day this random person came into our classroom with the principal and said that we could have the day off if we volunteered to go to a special event. Of course we said yes and as we went outside we saw a flood of kids like us being led by various teachers towards the mysterious event. The more we walked the more cops we saw. Traffic was stopped and the cops were absolutely everywhere. Finally we ended up at one of the main city squares after passing a security check point  and it was filled with kids. The only adults were our teachers and two dozen obvious Americans waving American flags around.

We had no idea what was going when suddenly Donald Rumsfeld appeared on the stage and started giving a speech while looking absolutely furious. Later on we would find out that he was on a diplomatic visit and had a big speech planned. They had blocked the entire city center anticipating protests but no one had bothered to protest and even worse no one had bothered to actually come and listen. Fearing the extremely awkward situation of having a high ranking US official be humiliated by giving a speech to a virtually  empty square some local bureaucrat had the brilliant idea to get people to bring kids from the local schools to fill the square and make it look like it was full But that backfired big time because we were kids and we didn’t give a shit about speeches so no one paid attention and we were all talking to each other to the point where we could barely hear him speak. You could see how humiliated he was.I am guessing he expected some mix of support and hate or hell even only hate but instead what he got was absolutely apathy . Back then I was too young to realize what we had all done without even meaning to but now I have such fond if very vague memory of accidentally humiliating and probably low key traumatizing one of the biggest war criminal of the 20th century

#usa

[imaginesheaven]

Can we have Tf 141+ Rudy , Alejandro nd Konig react to y/n (Innocent looking) having bookshelves upon bookshelves of smut books? 🤣

(Prolly a bonus funny scene is y/n tried to recite a smut part in front if them and the Cod Men are begging for her to stop 🤣🤣)

(I can read those spicy scenes to everyone with a straight face 🤣)

Thank you, hope u see this.

Oh my god, thank you so much for your request. I had so much fun writing this one! I hope you like it~

I literally can see Ghost staring at you with those annoyed eyes like "are you bloody done?" :D

Warning: Mention of smut books, cursing

Funnily you always run around the base with a book in your hands, but actually none of the soldiers ever paid enough attention what it is about or what the cover looks like. You are definitely not hiding your obsession from anyone.

One evening you all drink beers together after a mission together with KorTac and the Los Vaqueros. Alejandro leans forward in his chair pointing at you suddenly very interested, “Every time we work together you are running around with a book. What are you reading?” A slight smile appears on your lips.

Your time to shine has finally arrived. The conversations around you stop as everyone looks at you. Finally, someone dared to ask you the most interesting question. The silence adds to the mystically atmosphere.

“Oh, my books? I’m reading smut all day long for the last few years”, you explain them like you are talking about the weather. Gaz next to you gasps for a second just to start coughing. He literally inhaled his beer into his lungs.

Soap pats Gaz’s back rather harshly but couldn’t help himself to laugh. Price rubs his temple already mentally done with this conversation. Ghost shows not a single reaction like always. Rudy hides his red face behind his hand.

Alejandro looks at everyone rather confused, “I’m not getting it.” Rudy leans closer to explain him what books you are reading in a whisper yet you are faster than him, “Poor innocent Alejandro, I’m reading literally porn.”

König is so happy to have his hood on, because his face is burning with red cheeks. His thoughts went downhill from your confession. He doesn’t want to imagine you reading those filthy books on your bed all alone. Oh, shit. Oh, shit!

“Ay dios mío!”, Alejandro takes a sip from his drink trying to calm himself down. You turned the tables literally in seconds. None of them has to say it out loud, but you are a breathtaking human being. You reading those books is kind of hot…

“I actually have tons of bookshelves at home with smut books. I call it my little curiosity museum of porn”, you enjoy this situation way too much, “You want to hear a page or two?” A mixed chorus of no and yes can be heard.

With a stoic face you get out your book at the page you left off and start to read. Fortunately, you actually are at a steamy scene, which makes the picture perfect. As you read out how the pair starts licking and biting at each other you sound so nonchalantly like you would read from the daily newspaper.

“Steamin’ Jesus! How many thumbs has this man to add?”, Soap can’t stop his laughter from breaking out. This is the funniest thing he has ever heard. He is literally the only one who has fun. Gaz, Rudy and König stare at the ground with burning faces. They don’t dare to look at someone else in this situation.  

“Please, for God’s sake stop reading. This is hell”, Price looks and feels traumatized for the first time in his life. He actually thought he has experienced everything yet you are sitting there proofing him wrong.

Ghost stands up from his chair without a single word making his way towards you. He closes the book in your hands then throws it through the entire room. “Hey! It isn’t that bad!”, you run after it needing to know what happens during the next few pages.

“I apologize formally to everyone that I asked”, Alejandro raises his hands at the group taking the blame. “You are all peasants who have no sense for pure art”, you reply laughing coming back with your book in your hands. The evening continues without steamy scenes read out loud to your displeasure.

#request #cod imagine #cod mw #cod headcanons #cod x reader #cod #call of duty x reader #call of duty #john price #captain price x reader #kyle garrick #gaz x reader #simon riley #ghost x reader #soap x reader #john mactavish x reader #alejandro mw2 #alejandro mw2 x reader #call of duty rodolfo #rodolfo parra #rudy mw2 #rudy x reader #alejandro x reader #alejandro vargas #könig x reader #könig mw2 #könig #friendship headcanons #friendship hcs #gender neutral reader

[psychwxrdd]

you try to breakup with yandere! roman godfrey

🎀: not bill being arrested for smoking the zaza lmao let my man be happy. this is something short i wrote on halloween last year and i felt like sharing today

warnings: yandere, obsessive love, dark themes, implied kidnap, horror, gaslight

"You don't mean that shit" Roman laughed. As if you just told the funniest joke he ever heard.

"You bet i did"

He keeps laughing, genuinely. He puts his hand on his chest, trying to calm down.

"You'd make a brilliant comedian" he nods his head, staring at the floor.

You felt so angry, so small. You hated not being taken serious.

"Grow the fuck up! You know this is not a joke, i fucking mean it, i'm done with you" You said sternly. The way he stared at you made you feel chills on your spine. He came closer, sitting next to you. He sighed. His hands caressed your cheeks.

"Look at me sweetheart" you didn't wanted to, you tried to stare at anywhere else, but the way he grabbed your jaw forced you to make eye contact "Repeat yourself, c'mon"

"I don't wanna do this anymore!"

"Then i guess we have to make you want this again"

Roman easily carried you on his shoulder and it happened too fast for you to react. You tried to scream, but he had his hands covering your mouth.

"Shut up baby", he told you as he walked to the attic, your desperated cries for him to stop weren't doing anything to him. Actually, he thought the sounds were very lovely.

He threw you as if you were nothing, your head painfully hitting the floor and you couldn't hold the loud sobs anymore.

"I let you hang out with those bitches for once and see it, this is how you start acting. You're gonna stay here untill you learn how to behave, and you're gonna act like my sweet y/n again. Yeah? You got that? Nod for me if you understand"

You nod, softly.

"There you go. I love you, sweetheart, but you can't keep hurting me like this... I'm not the bad guy for wanting the girl i love to respect me, you know? It's all on you." He stood closer to you, and you shifted, scared of what he would do "I will do anything i can to keep you mine, don't try me. I'm not afraid of doing anything that means you stay here forever."

#roman godfrey #roman godfrey x reader #bill skarsgård #roman x reader #bill skarsgard x reader #bill skarsgard fanfiction #yandere roman godfrey #yandere roman

[livstarlight]

Please allow me to break down this wakanda forever scene for my personal entertainment and the mere reason why I think it's the funniest shit I have ever seen

So we have Namor who is blabbering his sob story to a stranger foreigner surface-dweller princess he met once and who has known for a total of... five minutes, give or take. But whatever, we are on a tight schedule, on the brink of war and with the risk of being exposed any minute, plus we are trying to form an alliance with above mentioned princess and her country, that seems to be the only one to have something in common with his own, so it's fine.

ANYWAY, he has just finished unraveling his people's but especially his entire life story because he wants Shuri to understand why he has to do what he has to do, and she starts arguing back, trying to find a common ground. A peaceful solution for both parties. Which... fair. Usual diplomatic stuff. They are both making sense.

Then Shuri says THIS:

Mind you, he is a mutant god king. A mutant god king of 500 years old. He has seen and heard a lot of things, nothing should faze him that's what I am saying. And technically has the upper hand, considering he is also sort of holding her hostage (she asked to be brought there but still) and yet:

Stunned. Absolutely flabbergasted. Looks like his brain is stammering and failing to elaborate what's happening.

But Shuri keeps going, smart and confident in her ability to turn things around.

She even smiles. And that's it. He is done. Now we can actually see his braincells on the loose, helplessly scattering around. Live.

(500 years old. Let me remind you. 500.)

Then... this. Whatever this is.

1 Why are you swaying your hand around. And so dramatically. Besides, you gave her that dress.

And 2... what are you doing. Where are you looking. Please focus we are in the middle of a diplomatic meeting that could decide the fate of both of your nations for crying out loud.

But no. No no no. We are not done. If that wasn’t enough already:

Which... scary. Shuri is genuinely unnerved, like everyone with common sense would be.

He is just stating how things are. He is being serious, after all we are talking about a secret underwater kingdom that has been hidden for centuries, but no-

Look at him. He is so proud. So cheeky for having delivered this stupid joke he is probably mentally giving himself a pat on the back for having thought of it in the first place.

Look at her face. Look at her. She is a mix between "dafuq dude" and "are you for real"

GUYS IT'S HILARIOUS I COULDN’T STOP WHEEZING. HE PROBABLY THOUGHT HE DID SOMETHING. HE PROBABLY THINKS HE IS THE FUNNIEST MAN ALIVE.

I am not even gonna say anything about the fact that after her proposition he raised zero-to-none complain and/or hesitation about showing his super secret beloved kingdom that he has been going above and beyond to protect for centuries to a girl he met yesterday whom he talked to for a total of now ten minutes. Because... really.

#that’s your bad manipulative man? #REALLY? #the 500 year old with a sense of humor of an old man #and asbolutely zero game? #that one? #OKAY #namor x shuri #namuri #nashuri #seaprincess #shuri #namor #black panther #wakanda forever #mcu

[pokegalla]

Requested by @tryslogic

Ngl never thought of this but it’s gonna either be really funny or really sweet. There is no in between-

Killer and Lust with a crazy rich S/o who loves spoiling them

Lust:

* Oh this poor sweetheart was just expecting you to ask for “service” since you kept flirting with him everytime you visited Grillby’s. He found it charming though as you were always making him laugh too. It surprised him really when instead of that, you actually asked him out instead! Especially when he learned you were rich. Like are you sure you want me??? You could literally have anyone! But it just made him feel extra loved that you genuinely liked him for him. He didn’t really care about your money✨

* He’s actually very humble when it comes to gift receiving. Because he’s not used to such nice and thoughtful gifts! So whether it’s a simple rose to a HUGE teddy bear to even the finest wardrobe? He’s a blushing mess, always left surprised and still asking if it’s really ok. (Please reassure him!)

* Despite you spoiling him, he sure as hell is spoiling you too. You definitely have received gifts over time. His gifts weren’t as expensive…..but the thing is, the value of it is something money can’t buy✨ he’s made custom clothes just for you, stitched by HIS hands. Adorable picture books of you, him, even family and friends! Oh and the cuddles, smooches, and fun dates?!

* He’s a romantic guy and he’ll make sure to bring a smile to your face and give you the love you deserve

Mini story time:

“Huh? You have another surprise for me? Goodness you spoil me too much love….” Lust giggles.

You laugh too, “Well I can’t help it. Your smile and blush makes it worth it everytime.”

Lust playfully nudges you, “Oh stop it you!”

You laugh and take his hand in your own. You knew this surprise was probably the biggest you’ve ever given him. But it was an investment that you won’t regret. And you knew Lust would make you proud. So you walk him up to an old building. It looked refurbished and cleaned up already. You open the door with the key.

He looked around in wonder, “Wow…..what place is this?”

“Your new boutique,” You said casually. Lust looked at you in shock. You knew he loved making clothes…..”You have talent Lust. Everyone deserves to know you have something special…..and I’m willing to help show that.”

He actually tears up from this….this was….too sweet. He’s NEVER had such kindness in his life before. You made him feel…..like he actually had value. He hugged you and smiled with purple tears coming down.

“Thank you”

Killer:

* Ah here we go with this lil shet. Now with him, y’all probably got together randomly. He probably saw you on his day off and threw you a pick up line for funsies. Next thing you know, you both exchange numbers and become true love birds. Funniest part? It took him AWHILE to learn you were even rich- probably like a few weeks or a month. He thought it was cool and didn’t really think much of it.

* Now what shocked him was you spoiling him- he literally joked about wanting a PS5. Which he did want but he ain’t got no money- next day? Boom. You pop up with a whole ass PS5 with games he might like. His initial reaction: “Heh nice prank babe”. Oh- oh you weren’t? HOLY SHIT YOU ACTUALLY GOT HIM-?! The way he excitedly jumped up like a happy puppy, you knew you had to spoil him more-

* He absolutely shows you off to his team. Mostly out of a joke but also to be an absolute dick- like just smirking at his teammates, hell even his BOSS, just having an arm around your shoulder to say “My bae spoils and loves me soooooo much✨” Everyone wishes to beat your bonefriend’s ass- not you though. Because honestly you probably spoil them too. So you get a pass. And your bonefriend looking like he done got betrayed-

* He’s a silly little gremlin and honestly he does feel bad that he can’t spoil you more. So he’ll make sure to make you laugh and have fun no matter what.

Mini story time:

Ah the date went well as usual. A fancy dinner, a stop at an ice cream shop, and a walk through the park together under the moonlight. And you couldn’t stop laughing. Killer had been making you laugh the entire night, talking about his latest shenanigans with his group.

“And then after Dust wiped off the pie cream, he chased us ALL around the castle until Nightmare nabbed us and put us in our rooms! Dadmare moment✨,” He said with a chuckle.

“PFFFFT- Dadmare?!” You laughed again, “Killer you’re so cute….but god you’re chaotic-“

Killer takes your hand then kisses it, winking at you, “A chaotic cutie that you love so much~”

You blush but smile, “Yeah…..someone I will always cherish.” You swore for a moment, his eye lights popped up and his target like soul shifted into a heart for a moment.

“………heh. You’re too sweet babe…..,” He says with a nervous chuckle. You were surprised….but you couldn’t resist spoiling him one more time: with a kiss on the cheek. His skull flared with a beautiful shade of red. You giggle as he hid his face and tried acting cool about it. Ah……

You truly love this skellie.

#my writing #undertale au #funny #fluff #romance #right in the feels #sans au x reader #undertale au x reader #undertale au headcanons #lust sans #killer sans #killer sans x reader #lust sans x reader #mini oneshot #bad sanses mentioned

[pseudophan]

talking about phannie history and we havent even mentioned dans overly earnest semi-erotic horror vampire fiction about him and his confirned bachelor roommate that got published in a bestselling book marketed to 12-15 year olds

for sure up there with the funniest shit he's ever done because genuinely what the fuck. the way-too-accurate fanfic prose, the overwhelmingly earnest parts about his and phil's friendship, the ridiculous eroticism of that entire tree bit, the AMOUNT of time they spend with their noses touching... honestly he should have just gone all the way and written them as lovers because truly what is this girl

-- Phil grabbed Dan’s wrists and pinned him against the tree

oh i bet

-- (…) Phil, who, as if in slow motion, leant backwards, smacked the branch from Dan’s hand and grabbed him by the throat

of course he did

-- He tried to move but the force his friend was applying to his neck seemed immovable and impossible 

uh-huh

-- Phil stepped closer until their noses touched and looked Dan directly in the eyes: ‘I could kill you. Every fibre of my being is urging me to tilt your head back and bite your neck, but I can choose not to.’

okay. so cool dan

-- Phil moved in closer, pinning Dan’s body against the tree-

WE GET IT. actually. jesus christ.

..but then there's the :( you know :(

-- The next day was to be Phil’s funeral. Dan had no interest in going. His friendship with Phil was personal to him and not something he wanted to share with family and friends who would mean well but insult with every word of comfort. He decided that even if he had to attend physically, he would be somewhere else in his mind. He had to.

worst shit i've ever had to read.

#answered