#this is why I can’t write anymore

[ink-through-her-veins]

As with all momentous things, it began slowly. A sleep tunic and a change of clothes, became a drawer of Merlin’s clothes in Arthur’s wardrobe. Then a book on one of the nightstands turned into the entire thing becoming Merlin’s tiny library because he needed choices when it came to bedtime reading. And half of Arthur’s wardrobe was crammed with Merlin’s clothes, and the quilt his mother made laid over the foot of the bed that Arthur called their’s, and there was enough dust in the room that used to be Merlin’s for it to be considered well and truly abandoned.

Until…

“I cannot fucking believe you!” Merlin shouted, slamming open the door, and striding through it without a care in the world if said door ricocheted back to hit Arthur in the face.

Which it would have if Arthur weren’t trained since birth to have cat-like reflexes. He caught the door, glared at it, and seethed. He flopped down in chair, pinched the bridge of his nose, and waited for Merlin to calm himself.

“Don’t you have anything to say for yourself?”

Arthur closed his eyes against the pounding in his head. He had plenty to say, none of which would make Merlin any less upset. So he sat in silence until he couldn’t bear the curiosity of what Merlin was doing to make so much noise. He turned, and his heart stopped. In Merlin’s hand was his rucksack that usually hung on a hook beside the wardrobe, and was now full of Merlin’s clothes, and books, and—he’d even packed the fucking quilt.

“No.” Arthur stood, shaking his head. “Absolutely not. No.”

“What?”

“You. This. Whatever idiocy you’re thinking, no.”

“I’m going to my room, Arthur, where I can be away from whatever idiocy you’re thinking.”

“This is your room,” Arthur said slowly, and deliberately so the words could sink in through Merlin’s thick skull. “Do you not think it strange that you have to pack to go to your room? That all your things are here, and you haven’t slept in that tiny closet for months? You don’t just move out because you’re upset with me. You call me an idiot, and turn your head when I try to kiss you, and if I’ve really pissed you off—“

“You have,” Merlin interjected.

“Then you throw my pillow onto a chair and make me sleep in it!” Arthur shouted, and then bit his lip, trying to hold back the sudden rush of tears. Maybe Merlin was more than upset. Maybe…fuck. He sniffled, and softly added, “But you don’t walk out unless you stop loving me.”

Merlin’s rucksack dropped to the floor. “I didn’t—Of course, I love you. I didn’t realize. I just thought…”

“What? That I let all my servants claim my space, and half my bed?”

“Well I hadn’t thought we’d officially moved in together,” Merlin admitted sheepishly.

“We have. Months ago. You live here. I’m a prat. You’re all caught up now.”

And if Merlin wanted to linger in the argument before, he didn’t anymore. He didn’t even really want an apology for Arthur’s pigheadedness, but he got one kissed into his neck, and his lips, and his hair.

(Arthur’s the idiot in modern times here)

#I don’t know why they’re fighting anymore than Arthur does #they don’t have a reason because I can’t think of one #I just wanted to write the makeup part #bbc merlin #merlin #merthur #arthur pendragon #merlin bbc #merlin emrys #so yeah #fanfic #merlin fanfic #merlin x arthur #merthur fanfic #ITHVmerthurficlet

[rakiah]

Aside my current LV comic, I also work on another LV story and here its setting via some Ship meme ✨

#twisted wonderland #vil schoenheit #leona kingscholar #leovil #ship meme #that was so fun to do esp the THINGS #I LOVE doing that kind of stuffs #so relaxing #not like planning the story #which I want to write #why am I doing this #they fucked up my brain #I can’t go back to a normal life anymore

[pineconnie]

the magnus protocol crumpled up every time travel fix-it and somewhere else fic, threw them in the bin and said “it gets worse”

#the magnus protocol #the magnus archives #jon “i can’t let anyone else live with this guilt sims having to helplessly watch OIAR employees make the exact same mistakes as him #martin “i am NOT lonely anymore blackwood probably being completely isolated in the computer feeling nothing but guilt from stabbing jon #jonah being the ONLY one to get close to what he wanted and becoming essentially immortal so he can serve the eye #WHY WOULD THEY WRITE THIS!! #tmagp #jonmartin

[kinokoshoujoart]

the sos awl development team really looked at rock and said “even if we could fix him (we can’t) he would never agree to it, carry on king”

#and i’m eternally grateful they responded this way #my odd worldview king has every possible brain disease and disorder and he’s perfect just the way he is #cora clownposting content #sos awl #multiple interviews stress that rock was left unchanged because he was always a fucking weirdo and will remain so eternally #i also love that they use the same logic i do. sorry couldn’t redesign him he wouldn’t let us. sorry rock insisted on being drawn this way #what? just change his personality? sorry our hands are tied because he would not fucking say we can rewrite him #explains why his risqué first heart event dialogue was left entirely unchanged in the jp yet maya can’t call him a nanpa anymore #english localization toned it down this time. natume used literal translations and some roughly equivalent english double entendres #sometimes just ignored them #xseed did decide to make him wink when inviting you to be fun-buddies so idk #xseed definitely held a gun to his head for his toned down lines they have Hostage Situation vibes #‘hi there platonic buddy pal!!’ *winks in morse code to spell the words ‘SEX NOW??’* #psychic damage posting #bokumono #hm awl #rock (awl) #this was in my drafts when the heck did i write all this #rock tumbling (sos)

[a-friendly-dumpster-fire]

have a sloppy sketch because i cannot find words to explain the emotional role reversal between breath of the wild and tears of the kingdom. something about losing yourself in the pursuit of finding yourself. forgetting the more you try to remember, losing more in order to gain more, sacrificing the very thing you fought to protect and that thing being memory etc etc . you know

#totk has me in shambles #you’re telling me breath of the wild is about gaining memories and tears of the kingdom about losing them #breath of the wild is about lost connections and tears of the kingdom is about forging them #in breath of the wild zelda is the one who remembers and makes a big deal about remembering #and now when she is the one to forget link says nothing #he can’t #she forgot. she isn’t her anymore. why ask a beast if it remembers what the girl it consumed used to be. #i need to write something #loz totk #tears of the kingdom #totk fanart #totk light dragon #loz botw

[hariboz]

i’m so sad briize and zeroses followed the path of army/exo-l and stay/czennie like i love riize and my jebis so much but i can’t go anywhere online without seeing either getting dragged to hell and back by the other fandom

#maise’s mumbles ! #like i have been thinking about expanding my writing to riize too but those two fandoms just can’t exist in peace so i feel like it just #would be so messy #and it’s not just even that it’s a small part #all the hate tweets from both sides het so much attention it’s so exhausting #also why i’m not on twt much anymore i just. i just wanna talk abt pretty guys is that too much to ask

[saturnsorbits]

Thinking about being childhood sweethearts with Bakugo.

About first crushes and awkward hand-holding, of stolen kisses and sweaty palms; of realising just how thin the line between ‘like’ and ‘love’ can feel at sixteen.

In the blink of an eye, you’re almost twenty-five with the whole world in the palm of your hand and a partner that you know almost better than yourself. You’ve seen Bakugo grow, helped him, eased his ego and pushed him to be everything you knew he could be and he’s done the same for you. You’re a powerhouse of a couple - almost ten years strong and the envy of all of your friends. There’s no question that there’s so much more ahead of you: a ring, a house and white picket fence, children?

He’s your person and you’re his.

…Maybe that’s why neither of you see it coming.

Falling out of love can be like that.

#saturnssnippets #I really want to write Bakugo falling out of love - just because I think it would ruin him. #He’d fight it tooth and nail. #Refuses to admit that he’s not head over heels for you because he’s always loved you. #He fell hard and fast and he it doesn’t compute in his head that it’s just not there anymore? #There’s been no arguments; no fights; no issues at all so why… Why doesn’t he…. #It eats him up. #Because he loves you. He knows he does. He’s just not sure if he’s in love with you anymore. #Idk. I’m thinking out loud - but badly. #I just don’t know how he’d navigate that situation… Bc you can’t convince me that heartbreak wouldn’t annihilate this man. #He’d rather you throw him off of a roof thank you very much - and if that heartbreak was his fault? #But not his fault because he has 0 control over it? #fuck.

[thresholdbb]

Call me a sucker, but I really like the latest Paramount+ Home of Star Trek commercial

THAT SAID - the Prodigy erasure stings. To me it definitely feels like Paramount is implicitly saying it’s not a part of Star Trek anymore since it’s not on the platform

But if Threshold taught us anything, it’s that you can’t remove something from canon just because you decided you didn’t like it anymore. Prodigy is Star Trek, and it will continue being Star Trek even with a new home

#star trek prodigy #saved star trek prodigy #Star Trek #prodigy is hecking amazing #the prodigy erasure has stung since it was announced they were cutting it #I get that it’s now Netflix’s property and they can’t claim it anymore #prodigy is the most hopeful of the newer iterations to me #long story short I’m a sucker for some nostalgia but that doesn’t mean Paramount hasn’t done some terrible things to the franchise #the commercial is good very nostalgic they’re (almost) all there #remember when they tried to disown threshold come on #you can’t put the salamanders back in the shuttlecraft #they’re out there and they are BELOVED #also bring back ridiculous and bad Star Trek cause ‘fortune favors the bold’ and those silly episodes represent risk taking #risk taking can lead to some of the best works #‘risk is our business’ Kirk himself said it! #do you think we would have Far Beyond the Stars without Move Along Home? #the risk taking is part of why I love voyager (and threshold) so much such high highs and low lows just hits all the right notes #I also have issue with the writing being tightened down so hard that no one can breathe #meta

[apolloskazoo]

me after taking 25 whole minutes to write out a two-sentence comment under a fic: I dunno maybe it sounds weird and I shouldn’t comment after all….

#“How to sound like a normal human when speaking” #Results inconclusive #fanfic #ao3 comments #will sit there writing out and then deleting all of the things I liked abt the fic until i can’t even remember what I read anymore 😭 #IS THIS NORMAL OR DOES THIS ONLY HAPPEN TO ME HELP #I need to tell them everything I liked but I liked the whole thing and I can’t just copy and paste the fic into the comment section can i #“Wow loved this part” followed by the entire fic in quotation marks #yeah i proofread my own comments obsessively to make sure they don’t sound passive-aggressive hbu #sometimes writing a comment on ao3 is harder than writing an entire story #sometimes #writing in itself is a struggle actually why do it do it #“I love writing” (shaking with rage and incurable sorrow) #anyway this is a joke laugh now

[saetoru]

what is it about smut that makes me literally talk for ages bc like. now this drabble is turning into a whole fic too what the heck do i do now 🧍🏽‍♀️

#like when it’s just a fluff drabble #i can keep it short #but #every time i try to write something remotely scandalous #i’m like ok i gotta give this backstory #and oh we gotta have this scene to establish this detail #oh but i can’t forget that 12 years ago this happened so now that’s why that happened which led to this #and of course there’s the fact that they both have this and that and #boom #now i’m 4k words in #not remotely close to the sex scene i had in mind #and now i’m not even in the mood to write smut anymore and i have like #18273 scenes left to work out and #WHY #why do i do this to myself

[ssreeder]

Hi pook 😢 ( sorry if u don’t like the nickname) but I’ve been reading your series and I am reading Into the Fire (chapter 8) and I’m just wondering why you made Sokka give in so easily when people tell him to control himself that’s not Zuko. Because I would imagine that he would be more stubborn and more focused on what he wants instead of being caring. Even though he’s a caring and kind person I feel like being in prison would make him more selfish and less understanding of other people if than makes sense 😭

Like it just aggravates me when I see Katara try to idk really baby him and control him a bit (not mentally) it just kind of annoys me. Because even though Sokka loves his Sister I feel like he shouldn’t listen to her for real.

But that’s just me because that’s my opinion coming from someone behind has anger issues/ gets angry easily 🤷‍♀️

I love love love this series btw!!!!

I added your other ask too so I could respond to both! Hiiii hellooooo I don’t mind nicknames it’s actually nice because then I can keep anons apart haha

as for your comment about sokka I gotta say you’re probably the first person to tell me sokka isn’t angry enough haha. Which is fine because everyone’s allowed to have their own opinions, but my thoughts on LIAB angry sokka is his intelligence is often battling his emotions. I think sokka is smart enough to know he isn’t supposed to be lashing out at people the way he is or clinging to Zuko so tightly to where they both can’t breathe. i also think he is desperate to be back to his “old self” without actually wanting to be his old self. I do think he is fighting his path to healing every step of the way but even with all the time spent in prison he is still SOKKA. He cares for people he loves his family and he knows from watching his parents growing up what a healthy relationship looks like - his codependency to zuko is probably not it. I doubt it will change much, but when people tell him ‘you need to chill’ Sokka is very much like I FUCKING KNOW BUT I HAVE NO CHILL!!! NONE! ZERO CHILL.

but I can’t imagine sokka wanting to hurt anyone who doesn’t deserve it. Or fighting his friends and family to isolate himself anymore than he already is. I have learned that writing a more emotionally triggering fic does stir up emotions in people and causes them to project onto the characters a bit which is fine but everyone processing trauma differently. & sokka is doing it his own way just like zuko is.

Also…. This is a fanfic and I don’t know if people wanna read sokka being a raging asshole for 50k… so some of the realism in healing gets lost to word count because unfortunately I can’t spend years and 1000k helping these boys overcome their trauma so some of it has to be rushed a little for word count / plot purposes haha.

Liiiiiiisten here pooki-anon you come yell at me anytime about liab I’ll be right here to soak up every word! Thanks for the ask I’m glad you’re enjoying the series!!

#I have tried to take my time with the healing arc #Because we spent SO MUCH TIME dismantling the boys #I wanted to give them the change to be somewhat put back together to where they can at least function #I do agree with you anon! #Sokka could be 10000x angrier he could close up and say fuck off to everyone but it’s just another hurdle to climb over #His anger has been a reoccurring theme because I do write liab sokka angry #He has a right to be angry too!! #But I don’t know if people wanna sit and read sokka going in circles with his anger anymore than he already has #I love love love a good healing arc and I’m trying to take my time with the boys but…. #*word count and plot point and me eventually wanting to work on a project that isn’t LIAB haha* #I do think sokkas a mess right now #But damn it I want him and zuko to snuggle and him and Katara to laugh and his dad and him to pal around and toph and Aang to give him shit #And momo to pull his ears and appa lick him and idk all the fun sokka stuff we miss #I can’t do that if sokka won’t be open to healing and being less angry #Which is why I’m allowing him to progress haha #Ugh now we gotta work on zuko!! -> #Zuko: “why I’m fine??” #Boy is NOT FINE but he is damn good at acting fine haha #Thanks for the ask anon #Ill #give you the tag #Pookianon #Liab #ITF #ask

[romanceyourdemons]

i’m reading some of my abandoned writing projects from a few years ago and holy fuck some of these are so good. this one is set in a semi-magical 1920s new york, the main character is a clone of a spiritualist and her landlord used to be an exotic dancer before a bizarre one night stand with a scientist left her with eyes on her nipples and a lobster claw for a right hand

#why can’t i write like this anymore #ryddles

[solarismp3]

11 13 and 19 for the naruto ask thing im so curious 😳

hiyaa thank you for sending the ask 🫰🏾🫰🏾🫰🏾 11: is Itachi a martyr, a victim, or a perpetrator?

Given that itachi was 13 when we murdered his clan I’d he’s a victim. We was the at the “right” age for all that has happened to him be possible. But I can’t help but have a bad taste in my mouth as I say this cuz he did everything possible thing wrong for Sasuke’s sake. I like itachi only in the context of him being Sasuke brother.  His love for Sasuke is so profound it makes me so upset thinking of all the things he could’ve done to save his bby brother like it makes me wanna kill their father. This is all his fault!!!!! 

13: was kakashi trying his best? / was he a "good" sensei? I feel the same about itachi as I do kakashi. They were all so young when they experienced all there tragedies that made them make all the wrong decisions:(( his hole thing with his father??? I think he was trying his best under the circumstances he grew up in (in his younger years)  but was a bad teacher cuz why was he minato’s student but horrible to naruto? He probably forgot Sakura’s name on multiple occasions. He should’ve worked on himself more 

19: pettiest fandom opinion you've blocked someone for?

Honestly idk lol but I think someone said something bad about gaara and like that’s illegal so. I unfollowed a lot of ppl who repeat the same takes from 2018 about sns and getting angry and treating them like irl ppl when it’s drawings it’s weird.

#Txt #milestual #Naruto #Asks #idc for kakashi as a character at least not anymore I used to think he was cool but 🤷🏾 I love gaara too much #I can’t make a good analysis of naruto cuz kishimoto is so insane for writing all these things #Why kakashi join the anbu at age 6 or 8 like??? The brain is not even finished forming what the hell #They’re all child soldiers who never learned do to be adults so I can’t even criticize them cuz the fault lies in the world they live in

[smilesrobotlover]

Goooosh it’s always the weirdest things that I do that I feel like are super cringey and stupid like. If someone else did it I would not care I’d probably love it but if I did it I’m insufferable and weird and cringey and GOSH DANG IT why can’t I just have fun with things bro 😭😭😭😭

#like remember that grimace shake? #I cant look at the images anymore #I feel so stupid for doing it and idk why 😭😭😭 #same thing with that fic with villain squad and Linebeck #but y’all made me feel better about that so I don’t feel like it’s bad anymore #but man when I was writing and proofreading it I was dying on the inside #and now this #why can’t I just have fun man :((( #and like. I believe there is genuine cringe and wholesome cringe #wholesome cringe is just people enjoying their lives and having fun #and this is all wholesome cringe and I love it when other people do stuff like this #but why can’t I give myself the same luxury #ah #do y’all think I’m silly and stupid an cringe #smiles rambles

[desperatecheesecubes]

I said

Your actions will decide

Your future

And you said

It is fine

This is not my bed

I am not making it

But you are lying in it

You are lying in it

You are lying in it

#mine #delete later? #I don’t do poetry often (I feel you can see why) #but a old middle school friend just messaged out of nowhere #that they’re homeless now and can’t afford a hotel #and they couldn’t go to a shelter because none of them would take her dog #and it is so frustrating because when they were making the decisions that lead to this #they constantly kept telling me it was fine #I was there when you were making them I KNOW YOU ARE LYING #🫠🫠🫠🫠 #we aren’t even really friends anymore I just seem to have money #writing

[dinitride-art]

Nancy and Mike (and Robin) - Character Relationship Analysis/Exploration

Nancy and Mike’s relationship has always been really interesting to me. We don’t see Nancy pull away from Mike but we see Mike reacting to Nancy’s absence in his life. He tells their parents about Steve, and takes Nancy’s things, and tries to hold onto their relationship in the only way he knows how to. Because Nancy acknowledges him when he’s annoying her and when she’s angry at him. Or when he’s in danger. That’s it.

Nancy doesn’t play D&D with him anymore. She doesn’t talk to him anymore. Even in season four, the most we see of their relationship is Nancy driving Mike to school. And even though Nancy’s been pushing Mike away, he still goes to her when Eddie tells him and Dustin to find a replacement for Lucas. Mike keeps trying to come into her life, and Nancy keeps pushing him out.

Nancy is constantly trying to find a place in the world. She’s with Steve in season one because she thinks that’s what she’s supposed to do. And she gets good grades and studies and goes to party’s in season two. Even to the detriment of her relationships. However, she doesn’t take any blame for her actions, because of the societal pressure for her and everyone else to conform. Jonathan confronts her about it when they’re trying to find Will and Barb and she’s immediately defensive. She gets back together with Steve and blames Jonathan for not making a move sooner. Barb tells Nancy that she’s making a mistake with Steve, and Nancy tells her to go home.

But Barb dies.

Nancy blames herself for that. She blames herself for a lot of things. But she doesn’t want to understand why she blames herself for these things. Jonathan’s already told her that living married to Steve and conforming to societal expectations is bullshit. And she knows it is. But admitting that she’s hurt people by conforming, and trying to get them to conform, means that she’s hurt more than just herself. She’s hurt Barb. And Jonathan. And she even hurt Steve.

But most of all, she doesn’t want to admit that she’s hurt, and has been hurting, Mike the whole time.

That’s why she doesn’t like Robin at first. Because Robin is very similar to Mike. She’s loud, and impulsive, and says the wrong thing at the wrong time. And she can’t help it in the slightest. It’s not Robin’s fault that Nancys cold to her at first. It’s got nothing to do with Robin. Nancy just doesn’t want to admit that Mike hasn’t done anything wrong either. Because that means she’s wrong. And that means that she’s hurt him.

Mike and Robin both display autistic traits. Honestly, a lot of the characters in Stranger Things do, but these two are the ones with the most on screen brushback against those traits. Everyone has autistic traits, and having autistic traits doesn’t necessarily mean that someone’s autistic but. Considering that this is a writing choice, I think it’s fair to assume, at the very least, that they’re autistic-coded. And the reactions we are told and that we see, like Robin telling Nancy that she doesn’t pick up on social queues easily, and that her mother thinks she’s got something wrong with her. Versus what we see with Mike, people calling him annoying and an asshole and oblivious. Going to Lucas for help with El because he doesn’t understand what he’s supposed to do.

The key difference between Mike and Robin is what we see and what we’re told. Robin always tells us what she’s thinking and feeling and who she is. But with Mike we’re shown what’s happening. Same with them being queer characters, we’re told that Robin likes girls, and we’re shown that Mike likes Will. Robin is a queer character for a heteronormative audience. Mike is a queer character, regardless of the audience’s biases. Robin tells us that she doesn’t pick up on social queues. She explains that to Nancy, and Nancy is confronted with what we’ve seen the entire time with Mike.

Mike doesn’t pick up on social queues either. And Nancy knows this, and she’s seen all of his similarities to Robin as a bad thing. And she’s told him that he’s doing something wrong for being that way.

The reason that Nancy doesn’t like Mike, why she pushes him away, and calls him annoying and an asshole, is because Mike can’t be like her.

He can’t conform in the same way that Nancy does. And she doesn’t understand why he can’t.

Until she meets Robin.

And there’s a neon sign in front of her face that says, “Mike didn’t deserve this. It wasn’t his fault. He’s different, and so is Robin, and you told him that something was wrong with him.”

Nancy hurt him. She pushed him away. Told him in every way possible that his interests, and friends, and personality were wrong. And that she didn’t want a brother who was like that.

And now she knows why. Robin told her why.

Nancy doesn’t hate Mike. She’s scared that she was wrong. That Mike hasn’t really done anything wrong. That it was her fault that their relationship is like this.

And she’s scared.

Because she’s a lot more like Mike than she wants to admit.

#mike wheeler #Nancy wheeler #byler #my writing #in my personal experience of this #they’ll be fine after Mike turns 16 #and Nancy stops hating him for things he can’t change about himself #and stops hating herself for the same thing #they’ve just got to get there #and Nancy has to be the one to work for that relationship #because Mike doesn’t trust her anymore #anyways I’ve been thinking about why Nancy didn’t like Robin at first for a while #and I think it’s because she did like Robin at first #and Robin reminded her of Mike #and she had to admit that to herself #and I’ve also wanted to talk about Robin being the character that we’re told things for a while now #she’s the opposite of show don’t tell #and honestly how a lot of queer characters are presented in media #and she contrasts mike and Will so much #because we’re shown everything with them #I just think it’s neat !