#this is... sorta a vent post? idk.

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

in the past week or so ive seen a lot of people posting about how there's this oversexualization of trans girls on the site, and I gotta agree, there are way too many people (including other trans women!) who act like we're all dtf 24/7 or always super kinky and horny. I've been tired of that stereotype for ages and i am saying this as a rather sexual trans girl myself...

...but I think people are overcorrecting a bit now, and are starting to veer into "trans women shouldnt be talked about sexually / need to be shielded from it" territory. and, to me, that's really dangerous, because outside of some queer spaces - and even within them- the sexuality of trans girls is heavily scrutinized, as is attraction to us. as much as I dislike certain aspects of the memes and jokes that kickstarted the stereotypes, I'm kinda grateful for them as well. girldick jokes helped with my bottom dysphoria, voice kink shit helped me like my voice, and the whole "tgirl tummy tuesday" thing gave me a lot of confidence in my body where I hated it before. I think this open appreciation of trans sexiness has done a lot for both me and others on tumblr.

again, obviously its got its problems - people end up assuming every trans girl is horny, or only spread positivity if its related to sex with us, and of course the people who do have dysphoria from the things that are being sexualized are left out (like those the "girls without dicks are like angels without wings" memes, ugh, feels icky every time). and on the note of comparing tgirls to angels, we also started getting treated like we're ethereal fertility goddesses and that t4t sex was some inherently sacred ritual. spoiler alert, trans girls are normal-ass people and t4t sex can be holy for the participants but its generally a pretty normal thing to do as well

coming back to the "don't sexualize trans girls" posts now, I think they were initially going in the right direction, but at this point I'm starting to raise an eyebrow at more than a few of them. I'm not gonna whip out the "youre a sex hating puritan if you post about it" accusation because that is obviously wrong but again, I think people are definitely overcorrecting and starting to turn this into a (false) dichotomy when it's not. its a complex topic and each individual trans woman will feel differently about it.

(I feel like the internet just erases any nuance in favor of a two-sided, highly polarized flamewar with unrealistic views on both sides. actually i wouldn't even say this is a super-nuanced discussion because its really not that hard to say "fetishization is bad, but so is suppression of sexuality". will this post just end up being a void scream and people will continue drawing lines between one side and the other? probably. but I am a stubborn bitch and I have hope that we can be reasonable.)

anyways I'll close this off by saying that I wrote this between around 1:30 and 2 AM on terrible sleep the night before, that I hope what I said is coherent enough, and that I will keep being a trans girl who is openly sexual, gets horny over other trans women, and is proud to be transsexy as fuck. I will keep being critical of jokes and trends and memes that stereotype us, even from our own community. I will keep being angry at how poorly us trans folks are treated with regards to our sex lives, bodies, and relationships between the two. I will keep loving and lusting over trans women without fetishizing them. And I will keep doing all of these til the day I die.

#taking a break from the late night funnies to get serious for a change #this is... sorta a vent post? idk. #please dont tag this with 'transmisogyny' i do not like that term #feel free to reblog though. if enough people are shitheads ill turn reblogs off but again i have hope we can be nice. #transmasculine folks please feel free to add anything else you feel is relevant! im writing from the perspective of a transfemme #who mostly spends time in transfem spaces and i obviously dont have the experiences of a transmasc so. yknow. add on if you have something #alright thats all for now back to your regularly scheduled sleepy/funny posting

[its-a-beautful-day]

Been thinking about how it feels, being the wild child

the struggle of not feeling human, when emotions get too strong,

when hands feel like paws and teeth become fangs, shoulders and hunches raised in anger and low growls of fear,

somehow this body language is easier, is more natural than my own

#star's art #my art #artist on tumblr #vent art i guess #actually autistic #Not really sure what to tag this as #But I was the kid that growled at others #People didnt listen to no and stop #But they do listen to growls and snarls #Unfortunately it also makes you really really lonely #It wasn't always out of anger or fear I'd get to transform #Sometimes on my own I'd be able to play and it was always so much fun #Trampolines are great for crawling soft play sorta thing #Getting to wrestle with our dogs and learn their language #How they play and signal for different moves #How I could mimic it without ears or a tail #I miss the joy of being a creature but I don't have the room currently #Shitty laminate hurts to crawl on #Bleh I know this is my post but I feel I'm blabbing #Idk I hope this resonates with someone like how freeing making it felt

[lover-of-skellies]

How do I explain to my mom that fnaf is not a kids thing

I know it's kinda marketed as being that, but like. Dead children, stuffed inside animatronics. A dude running around and killing said children. The same dude later on being springlocked in a suit and slowly bleeding out. Then years later, the dude who dies comes back as a living corpse inside an animatronic

How do I explain that none of that is for children, in a way that her old lady brain will comprehend

#not skeleton stuff #rambles #i need to talk to her about some stuff but idk how because she won’t listen #vent post #kinda sorta #feel free to ignore #might delete later #idk yet

[tsams-and-co-memes]

Hooooooooh boy, did my respect for Monty just plummet drastically

Once we look past how violent and aggressive Monty can be, how they can also be straight-up abusive at times, and how they love threatening, bullying, lying to, and coercing people, we're left with an individual who pointed a (presumably) loaded gun at two of their friends to be funny, who pointed the same gun at their girlfriend's brother's face for coercion purposes, and who also pointed the gun at the forehead of a literal child

Monty, I used to like you, and you had my respect when you were helping get rid of Eclipse and when you were helping to get Lunar back, but you lost all that respect almost immediately. What are you even doing with yourself. Dating Earth is not a get out of jail free card, you need to do better

Edit: Honestly? Earth needs to find out that Monty was going around pointing a gun at people, especially Sun and FC. I want her to find out, and I'm gonna be a bit agitated if Monty doesn't get some kind of consequence to deal with as a result of their actions

#rambles #vent post #ig??? idk #mgafs monty #tmgafs monty #mgafs #tmgafs #tmgafs spoilers #mgafs spoilers #kinda sorta #idk man #monty as a character used to be cool #but now they're just a garbage person #surely I'm not the only one who thinks that

[azelle-intermisson]

i dont normally like to use tumblr as a journal but fuck it!!

i think i wanna transition but like i am like sorta afraid to do it bc my main goal rn is to move out as soon as possible bc i am literally sleeping on someones floor atm and even though i would love to have my own apartment ik its not entirely realistic given my situation and finding roommates that are either allies or other trans people sounds like really fucking hard esp since im not really in community with anyone else and idk where to look. idk normally when i feel this way it doesnt really get under my skin and i just ignore it but im sorta coming to terms with the fact that if i dont do something about this feeling im prob gonna keep feeling it for the rest of my life.

#azelle talking #like there are people who i wanna be friends with and i wanna make friends through the internet but i get soo fucking nervous #and like the times i have managed to overcome it i end up having a lot of fun talking to people #so idk why i am so nervous to do it #also for clarification i am sleeping on a mattress topper on someones floor #but like aaaa i wanna sleep in an actual bed in my own space soo bad its killing me #vent #sorta #i always end up deleting these types of posts but who knows i might leave this one up for fun

[pulchrasilva]

Also like. Girl can you stop having breakdowns in the middle of the night, can we schedule them for 3pm-ish because i know you're an insomniac but I need to sleep some time lmao

#this is /silly obviously #but it is slightly unfortunate #i kinda need to sleep early tonight but that may not be happening #idk we'll see if they text me back #vent post #sorta

[3ntity56]

(quite possibly) having BPD and also being aromantic is kinda weird bc it's like. i love you with every fiber of my being. i cannot stop thinking about you. i'll stare at photos of you with my hands on my cheeks and memorize every feature of you. part of your heart is within me and i would be devastated and would never be the same if you left me. not in a romantic way tho

#questioning bpd #aromantic #idk #shitpost sorta #not a vent #entity posting

[clarablightt]

sometimes i feel like giving up on writing heh

#am i really about to put a whole year of brainstorming world building and plot developing to waste? #maybe idk #i’m not feeling it right now even tho #even tho i love this story #it’s sorta not good? #maybe i’m overreacting #we shall see i suppose heh #writing struggles #vent #vent post #clara says stuff

[austinwehaveaproblem]

kinda alienating 2 be in the trans community but not have your agab apply to you as accurately, if at all, anymore

#austin's problems #it's sorta all #oh you're afab? so that means you're ftm. oh you're amab? so that means you're mtf. #and that's it. just. y'know. the same gender binary swapped around just like. with agabs. #and then there's like. shrug. all trans hornyposting is either abt boypussy or girlcock #both of which are the bee's knees n i'm not shaming anyone bc i do it a LOT but it's like #limiting i guess #i barely see trans hornyposts abt people who have transitioned and i know it isn't as like. quirky and obviously trans to have #girlpussy or boycock but. y'know #and then in my case. i have a pussy but i don't like. Not have a dick either.? it's. a little complicated idk #i'm just rambling now but whatever #this isn't a vent post u can rb just pondering

[just-a-we1rd0]

I am just as stupid as a dog.

I have been beaten down, hurt, yelled at, yet I run back with a wagging tail.

But for you

something is different.

Whenever I see you

I tuck my tail, I flatten my ears, and my pupils grow wide.

You have hurt me more than the others.

Yet you can be so kind, praising me and telling me im a ''good dog.''

I do not understand you.

#This is referring to my mom btw #canine poetry #dog poetry #Sorta vent #Idk I just like canine poetry #shit post

[weenhands]

.

#lately i kinda hate running this blog like i said earlier.... #its kinda shown by how many times im changing my icon bc im kinda losing my happy feeling when i go on here #i think its mostly in light of what i have been depression posting abt if u have been paying attention. btw. /j #have all of the images run out #also alot of my favourite bloggers r kinda inactive lately and i only feel alive when theres drama on the dashboard which is actually sad #Idk. maybe i shall take another long break or log off for maybe a day or two which sorta helps me reset a bit #but i just noticeably really feel shitty and just not excited to blog #if u rrad this far its with tongue btw. we r kissing with tongue #vent #uhh if i go for sometime. i may give out my other socials like my discord bc i am Not sharing my pinterest. and i dont use anything else

[ace-trainer-risu]

I have this silly frivolous thing I want to buy which I one hundred percent DO NOT NEED but I want it and it's only available for a limited time (ending tomorrow!) and it's in support of like a queer artist so its Morally Upstanding but like this is an expensive time of year b/c of holidays and I've also spent a lot of money lately on other necessary but expensive purchases but also like I can afford it! I am in a totally good solid place right now re: money, I can completely afford to spend money on silly pointless things, but Should I? shouldn't I save and be thrifty and my grandmothers both grew up in the DEPRESSION and my ancestors were in the IRISH POTATO FAMINE probably but it's not like I'll ever be able to retire anyway b/c CAPITALISM and AHHHHHHGHH H. help.

edit: i bought the thing.

#my brain is just this unreasonable circle of 'you don't need it' 'but i WANT it' #i gotta sorta kinda scammed a little bit once in college and it ended up costing my poor parents a couple hundred of dollars #and i seem to have FULLY blocked out the memory of this. i don't remember this happening. apparently i was borderline hysterical over this. #and idk sometimes i think maybe that's at least a factor in why I am very WEIRD about money now #i just feel so guilty about spending money on anything other than the essentials. and sometimes even that. #even tho again i am totally financially solvent! its weird. and annoying. hrghgh. #squirrel posting #vent post #its not even an exciting story btw which is bs. I just lost my auto-refilling mta card when i was an idiot freshman.

[silvercaptain24]

Growing up is weird

#silver rambles #vent #that post about the ‘how you knew someone else came from money’ is just. sticking with me #mostly cause as a kid I didn’t realize how bad off we were #like. I didn’t realize we got groceries from the food bank run by the church my dad worked at until I was a teen #it just. affected me subtly I guess #being worried about a $2 difference in shoes when I needed new ones because I liked the more expensive ones #and my mom having to convince me that it was fine #it still sticks with me #it’s really hard sometimes to not think about cost if my dad and I go get lunch or something #I’ve never been to another country #meanwhile my friends would go to Rome and Sweden and India and Greece and Mexico for their 12 year old trips #I stayed in the same state for the one with my mom and only went a state over for the one with my dad #but like #yeah. I always sorta knew #I just. couldn’t have told you that I knew #all the little things you didn’t know growing up #I didn’t know about the groceries thing until yeah. I was…16-17 I think #and now we’re much better off and I have my own job (technically two) but like… #hhh. #why is my brain fixating on this? idk #sorry #needed the thoughts out

[lover-of-skellies]

I need,, some advice (once again)

@ anyone who's owned a gerbil or rodent in general: how do you help them get better from a super bad ear infection? Like... to the extent that there's pus and it makes the entire room smell like the bowels of hell itself

It's my room that's being stunk up, and it smells worse than my cat's litter box after I've given him wet food. My sibling doesn't want the gerbil upstairs in their room because they have health concerns about the gerbil (the gerbil herself is super old), but she's been in my room for more than a year now

I feel like an ass for wanting the gerbil out of my room because she's very old and sick and might die soon, but the smell is so bad that it's starting to make me feel unwell, I stg

#not skeleton stuff #rambles #vent post #kinda sorta #idk man #cw pet illness #cw pet death #pet illness #pet death #tags added just in case #gerbils #gerbil #help please #idk what to do about this #i don't think i can handle this nasty ass smell any longer

[bandomgay]

I kill myself every day and wonder why this body gets colder and my joints more rigid than the night before, I'm nestled so far in the dirt with beings of language I can't understand then ask them ten thousand reasons of why I can't.

I see them as small and insignificant creatures not out of shallowness nothing like my ghoulish grave but out of difference out of ostracization , I wonder if clawing out of the grave was my first mistake i wonder if noticing the difference in our being was the first mistake

i wonder why i followed my own body through rustic trees never to be untangled maybe i was far out of my own bounds and the only person i could ever blame was myself , I blamed myself laying there a rotting body found under floorboards of my own design, I buried myself here I killed myself here and it's just as fuzzy as the first time or maybe this was infact the very first time

you lose count after awhile just like you lose count of the worms and bugs, they live on and you fade out to nothingness and infinite sea of unbecoming and id sooner welcome it than i welcome the bugs and worms for this body has never belonged to me so I come to understand this as natural. the bugs must consume this body so I let them

eat , eat , eat

till I am nothing I often in time i wonder if this is just another suicide I wonder if this is just another death I am doomed to repeat I wonder if I can point the blame at myself for this one too

I wonder who can point the finger at who?

#uhm ive never really posted writing before except that one rothko thing that doesnt count but uh yeah uh here i just wanted to post it cause #its mostly a vent and idk #yall can comment reblog or whatever rgddhf im just sorta proud of jt ignore it if this is cringe as fuck #james talks

[ittybittybeastiebuddy]

The desperate yet guilty anxiety that comes from having to essentially beg for accommodations from my college professors is an emotion I wish I was less familiar with

#beastiebites #didnt get shit officially last year so had to ask all my professors individually for extension when i needed #and idk if ill get anything this year so Im once again resorting to oversharing in a desperate attempt to get ny professors to understand #Im fucking disabled and mentally ill and I need deadline extensions like i need water #i feel awful about it though its sorta fuckin humiliating to have to write an email that is me on my hands and knees praying they wont #think im trying to get out of work #im passionate about these classes and i wanna learn so bad Im just #so fuckin mentally ill rn #and i need help #but i dont have access to the help I need #so im just sorta #slowly watching as i become more and more despondant and emotionally drained #and struggle to do basic fucking tasks #Im sorry im just tired and stressed #gonna go to sleep and hopefully feel a little better in the morning #tw vent #vent post #actually autistic #actually adhd #anyways i wish everyone a good day and i hope you have spoons to deal with whatever bullshit life throws at ya