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moorishflower · 1 year

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That long lost!Addams ficlet is a delight. You KNOW Gomez would be so absurdly proud if his new great x100 uncle then managed to bag an actual eldritch terror as a partner. Wouldn't even miss a beat.

"Hob Gadling," Dream says, and Hob makes a frankly embarrassing sound -- not a shriek, nothing like that, but maybe a startled yelp -- and jerks off the side of the bed and onto the floor. Dust from beneath the bed settles immediately in his hair, and the floorboards creak alarmingly under his weight, but, after a tense and breathless moment, nothing happens. Hob exhales, and finds himself looking up between Dream's long and slender legs. He's wearing skinny jeans, Hob notes, and he can't resist the urge to grab hold of both of Dream's calves, just above the ankle, and Christ, but he's so skinny Hob can nearly get his fingers to touch.

Dream only raises an eyebrow at him. "Why do you keep the company of witches?" he asks, and Hob strokes up the length of his legs, as high as he can reach, humming softly. His heart is still hammering with excess adrenaline, and he's got to channel it somewhere. Lust for his lover (partner? boyfriend? they haven't really discussed --) is as good a cause as any.

"Hello," he says, attempting to maintain some manner of social nicety. "Good to see you, darling, how's your day been, mine's been fine --"

"Hob."

"-- I only learned that I've apparently got relatives, still," he finishes, and Dream's other eyebrow joins the first. Hob uses Dream's ankles to hoist himself further from the edge of the bed, and then picks himself up gingerly, brushing dust from his hair, his shoulders. It falls down from him in a grey cloud, and he's not able to suppress a sneeze before he says, "Loads of them. From my mam's side of the family. Apparently she had a sister."

"And you decided to visit."

"There were extenuating circumstances," Hob says, thinking of the diary, the bidding war, Gomez's unflappable enthusiasm for the esoteric. "But yes. What's this about witches?"

"Many of your relatives are. Though this explains, somewhat. How swiftly and easily you took to immortality."

Witches are real? sits on the tip of his tongue, and Hob only narrowly swallows it back. "Am I a witch?" he asks, half-fearing the answer. It'd make his drowning in the 1600s a lot less poignant, maybe. If he's been a witch this whole bloody time, if 'witch' is a thing that's somehow separate and distinct from human...

"No," Dream says, and all the tension leaves Hob's shoulders at once. He sits back down on the bed with a shuddering sigh. It's a nice bed, a four-poster with a canopy, and Gomez and Morticia had reassured him that this room did not contain anything that lived under the mattress. The sheets are heavy velvet, in deference to the cold Chicago winter, and yesterday morning he'd woken up to the sight of Wednesday Addams standing over his bed with a morningstar in one hand and a pair of scissors in the other. She had been contemplating the best way to wake him: by cutting his hair (he'd needed to explain to her that it would take time to grow back), or by caving his chest in (requiring a totally different, but no less important, conversation of its own).

"Good," he says, and Dream makes a low, thrumming noise, and straddles Hob's lap.

"You did not tell me where you were going," he murmurs, and strokes his thumbs down Hob's cheeks, catches his nail on Hob's bottom lip and pulls it down slightly to expose his teeth. "I felt you, still. In the Dreaming. But The New Inn was bereft of you."

"I didn't realize I was coming here until the second I did it," Hob admits, and Dream seems to take this in stride. "Besides. I've got no way to contact you. I sort of hoped you'd just...feel where I was."

"I did. I do. And yet. To hear it from your lips would also be...pleasing."

"You're allowed to say you're miffed, love," Hob says, and lays his hands in the cup of Dream's hips. Thin and bony and his. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you where I was going. Maybe we can figure out some way we can talk not through the Dreaming, in future. Dunno if you get cell service there."

He means it as a joke, but Dream tilts his head to the side, considering. His thumb sweeps up from Hob's lip, touches just below his eye, the firm bone of the orbit.

"I will consider it," he says, and then bends down and gently covers Hob's mouth with his own. His lips are soft, and Dream always runs closer to lukewarm than he does body temperature, but now Hob gasps because Dream's mouth, when it opens against him, is chilled. Sweet and cool as wintermint, and his tongue licking at Hob's lips is like a round of ice that thaws and melts and slowly slips inside, until Hob can drink him the way he would snowmelt, held in the cupped chalice of his tongue --

"Dios mío," comes a familiar voice at the door, and Hob frantically pulls his hands from where they had been inching over Dream's arse, and then just as frantically tries to rearrange himself so that his erection isn't immediately visible. He's not sure how he manages this last, since he feels hard enough that it could be seen from space, but if that's the cross he must bear, then so be it.

Dream, as always, is utterly unflappable, and turns to the bedroom door looking every inch a king; he's wild-haired, Hob realizes, and the skinny jeans aren't so much gone as they are flickering, like a projector caught between two slides, flipping back and forth between Dream's usual peacoat and jeans, and what Hob's become used to seeing him wear in the Dreaming, what he thinks of as Dream's robe of office, flowing like ink, black as the starless sky.

Gomez, standing in the doorway, looks between Dream and Hob, and then a wide and cheery grin nearly splits his face in half.

"Mi querido niño! You did not tell me you had a paramour! And who is this enchanting creature? Gomez Addams, my friend, at your service!"

Dream blinks slowly, and Gomez, to his credit, does not come forward with a proffered hand or, thank God, a hug. Only beams at Dream from the doorway, until Hob's increasingly eldritch lover breaks the silence at last.

"I am called Morpheus," he says, "Lord of Dreams and King of Nightmares. Shaper of Form and Prince of Stories." He inclines his head slightly, and Gomez looks as though he might faint with delight. "And lover of Hob Gadling."

"You did not tell me you were royalty," Gomez says. He strides into the bedroom, and thankfully it's Hob he's bound for, Hob's hand that he grabs. "Royalty! Why, the Addams haven't hosted a king since good old Henry!"

"Which Henry?" Hob gets out, as he's forcibly removed from the bed and dragged, almost bodily, towards the door. Gomez is strong. He keeps forgetting.

"It doesn't matter! They're all quite dead. But yours isn't! Come, my liege! Allow me to escort you and your Prince Consort on a promenade of the grounds! Have you ever been to America before, sir?"

"I am a representation of all sleeping minds, and of the dreaming subconscious of all living things," Dream says, sweeping behind them, stately and imposing. "So. Yes."

"Oh, splendid! That means I don't have to explain baseball."

"What is happening," Hob whispers, as he's manhandled out into the hall. His mind is caught somewhere on prince consort and doesn't quite want to let go of it, but he feels like that's a conversation he ought to have with Dream in private.

And Dream looks at him, smirking faintly, his starlit eyes flicking from Hob's mussed hair to his kiss-pinked lips, and down to the way that Gomez so effortlessly steers him by the shoulder out into the manor proper.

"Family," Dream says, and reaches out, and laces his fingers with Hob's.

#hob gadling family values #my fic #ask response #the addams family #the sandman #hob gadling #dream of the endless #dreamling #gomez addams

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chaoticdean · 2 years

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Vital Signs (NOW COMPLETE)

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Rating: Explicit

Characters: Dean Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural), Claire Novak, Lee Webb, Missouri Moseley, Sam Winchester, Eileen Leahy, Balthazar (Supernatural), Gabriel (Supernatural), Max Banes, Charlie Bradbury, more characters to be added

Pairings: Dean/Castiel, Sam/Eileen, Dean & Lee, Dean & Claire

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Detective Dean Winchester, Professor Castiel (Supernatural), Coma, Loss, Lost Time, Depression, Getting Back Together, Castiel and Dean Winchester are Claire Novak's Parents, Parents Castiel and Dean Winchester, Background Case, 2000s, Chicago (City), Other Additional Tags to Be Added

Summary: It’s 2001. Dean Winchester is a detective within the Intelligence Unit of the Chicago Police Department. Bon Jovi’s “It’s My Life” is on every radio of the country, the Cubs haven't won the World Series in almost a century, and Georges W. Bush just got elected President of the United States. Dean has been dating Cas, his high school sweetheart, for almost ten years and together they raise a daughter, Claire, who’s about to turn 1.

Life, all things considered, is good.

It’s 2021. Dean Winchester wakes up from 20 years in a coma after taking a bullet into the head on a case gone wrong. 9/11 happened almost 20 years ago, the world is on fire, the Cubs won the World Series five years ago, and Bon Jovi put out 6 albums since “It’s my Life”. Dean’s baby daughter just turned 21, his brother married an incredible woman and has two kids he doesn’t know, and his boyfriend... Well, Cas is still by his side, but there’s stuff he’s keeping from Dean.

Of course, this would be enough to fill Dean’s plate if he didn’t also have to figure out who put a bullet into his head, 20 years back.

Author’s note: I know I said I would take some time off once "Glory Hallelujah" was finished, but I stopped writing for 2 months straight and then my mind started wiring.

This story has been hugely inspired by a French tv show that started to air in 2013 and finished in 2016. Though I took some storylines and aspects from the show, there also are some stuff I changed or flat-out created for this story. If you're interested in watching the series, it's called "Falco" and is probably available to watch with English subtitles somewhere (though it's one of the small numbers of tv shows that completely tore me apart and made me cry like a baby when it ended).

Going from there, if you do enough research, you'll probably find out that (spoilers) Falco dies at the end of the show. That's one of the things I didn't want, so rest easy: Dean isn't going anywhere in this story.

Contrary to pretty much all of my previous stories, I don't have a fix schedule for this, and a weekly, fixed update day is very unlikely. I'll try to update at least once every two or three weeks, but you guys know I'll get to the finish line anyway.

#hugely excited for this one #i actually started writing it over a year ago #it was supposed to be my dcbb this year before i dropped out #anyway it's gonna be heavy and painful but cathartic like it always is #vital signs fic #destiel #destiel fic #deancas #deancas fic #dean winchester #castiel #claire novak #chaoticdean #jus writes

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darklydeliciousdesires · 2 months

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London Will Burn - Chapter Twelve.

Look at me go! I updated on time for once, haha! Happy Friday, besties. Hope you all have a wonderful weekend <3

Previous chapters - One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten Eleven

Tag list - In the comments, please DM to be added/removed

Words - 4,180

Warnings - 18+ content throughout. Minors DNI.

“Sorry mate! Christ, the traffic was absolute murder! They’ve completely closed off the bloody main road outside my offices and... Oh, hot waiters. Hello!”

In times of tension, Rin knew she could always trust in her old friend Carly for a little light relief, literally veering off mid-sentence to appreciate the appearance of the wait staff there at San Carlo, where they were meeting for a long overdue catchup dinner.

With their beloved Rashida now living over in Chicago, it was just the two of them, their friendship fully re-bonded since Rin’s return from Africa. Not that geographical distance had diminished the love or closeness between the two lifelong friends whatsoever.

“Oh, don’t worry. It’s fucking mayhem out there! Come here, give me a smooch,” Rin assured her, kissing her cheek as they embraced. “I only got here on time because I was in Chelsea for a meeting this afternoon.” Carly took her seat, thanking Rin when she dutifully poured her a glass of wine. “Anyway, why are you eyeing up waiters? Not loved up with twat waffles, still?”

No, it was fair to say that Rin had never really liked Carly’s long-term boyfriend, Mathias. Not after their visit to Kenya, when he’s gotten absolutely smashed, resulting in him thinking he could square up to Sokoro, a decision that had landed him in a world of regret. Being dangled by his ankles over the top of the stairs within the lodge by the pissed off Kenyan until he’d apologised had sobered him up nicely, though.

“You will be pleased to hear that the man known only as twat waffles to you is no longer in my life. Yeeted him about four weeks ago. I’ll say it, you were right.”

Rin beamed. “I always am.” Well, not always. The events of the previous week were still burning in her gut, being shamed in the way she had been by Sean and his superior powers of deduction. “No but honestly, honey. I’m glad because you can do so much better than him!”

“In this instance, you are correct. I can and I will, with that waiter over there with the blonde hair if I have my way.” She paused, raising her glass in his direction. He was at the table in seconds.

“Good evening, ladies. Are we ready to order?”

Oh, he was so sweet, absolutely none the wiser to the fact there was a bona fide man eater about to chomp down upon him. “Not yet, love. I was just appreciating the fact that you happen to be the most gorgeous man within the restaurant, so cheers to you.”

He pinked at the cheeks, nodding while attempting to bite back his grin. “Well, when you need me, feel free to appreciate me again.”

Rin chuckled, shaking her head. “We'll take some focaccia and olives to nibble while we decide, please.”

He made a quick note on his iPad, smiling widely. “Certainly.” Scampering away, Rin fixed her friend with a look of pure mirth.

“You’re terrible, Muriel.”

Her assessment had Carly in hysterics, reciting their favourite line from the nineteen nineties cult classic film, Muriel’s wedding. They’d always said it to one another when there was mischief afoot. “I am, this much is true. So, how’s everything? How’s work, and my beautiful goddaughter?”

“Tiger is perfect, as usual. As for work... hm.”

Inclining her head, she took a sip of wine and thanking the waiter when he brought over the required pre-dinner nibbles. She winked again and of course, he blushed furiously. “Oh? I sense a story there. Does it have anything to do with her dad? How’s all of that going, by the way?” Of course, Carly had been made privy to it all. She’d known right from the start, after all.

She ground her teeth before forcing a somewhat terse smile to her face. “I gave him a black eye last week.”

Some things truly never changed, Carly making a motion with her hand that she should elaborate. “The tea requires spilling, Miss C.”

And so, Rin did. She spared certain details over her work (although of course, Carly well knew she was a hardened criminal, Rin never gave away enough that could implicate her at any point in the future, just in case) but managed to sum it all up in a way that gave the story without all of the nuanced ins and outs of it.

“Right, so he potentially saved you from making a big mistake with the Per...” she began, eyes scanning around before leaning in close to whisper, “the PM, shall we say, and you gave him hell for it?”

“He embarrassed me in front of my associates, and took great pleasure in doing so,” she spoke, picking up another small cube of focaccia and dunking it into the balsamic vinegar bowl. “I don’t take kindly to that.”

A taste of one’s own medicine was always the bitterest, Carly couldn’t help but note. “Yet you do exactly the same with him at any given opportunity.”

Rin frowned. “I’m sorry, who’s side are you on here, exactly?”

“Yours, always yours, love,” she was quick to interject, “but sweet, from what you’ve told me about him, if you bite at him, he’ll do exactly the same back. You two, you’re much too similar for your own good. Something I believe you once said about you both, didn’t you?”

The focaccia was chewed upon with mild fury. “He doesn’t deserve to ever have one over on me. Not after what he did. I want him to suffer. His punishment will be prolonged, mark my words.”

God, she was so hardheaded, especially when it came to Sean. Carly looked a little pensive, picking up her wine. “Do you want to know what I think about that? The complete, unfiltered truth?”

Her lips thinned, eventually nodding. “I suppose an outside perspective couldn’t hurt.”

“Okay.” She took a breath and another sip of Sauvignon Blanc for courage, placing her glass back down again softly.

“You’ve already punished him enough, Rin. You deprived him of a relationship with his daughter for six years, and you came back and took an empire he was planning to preside over out from under him, and then made him effectively run his own company for you, on your terms. Trust me, from what you’ve told me about Sean, you’ve hit him twice where it hurts with big strikes. Family and business are what means everything to him, and you hold all the power over both. Prolonging that, well, as far as I can see, mate, all that does is cause problems for you.”

“How?”

“Your business deals should be running smoothly, and if you continue to hold him in contempt, they simply won’t. Risky really, when taken into consideration just what you do. Then of course, for Tiger. In fact, mostly for Tiger. Trying to repeatedly cut her father down for a mistake he made seven years ago will only hurt you and her in the end. Has he ever offered you an apology for his actions?”

She lifted her chin, remembering it, when he told her of his lament. “He has. I have to give him that.”

Carly reached for her arm, squeezing softly. “Well, then. There you go. You have to stop figuratively yeeting him right in the gonads for it at point or another, or behaving like this is only lowering you to his level, or former level, I don’t know. I can’t speak for him, but I can speak for your character. You’re better than this.”

If anyone was going to give her the truth, it was Carly. It was a truth she did need to hear, too, before the battleground that was her relationship – or lack thereof – with the father of her child became even bloodier than it already was. “Why are you bloody laughing? I’m trying to talk seriously for once in my flippin’ life! You could at least appreciate my attempt to be sage!”

“I am,” Rin chuckled, covering her hand with hers where it still rested upon her arm. “It’s just you still can’t help but be funny through it. Yeeting him in the gonads, oh god.” She descended there, laughing richly, even wiping a few tears from her eyes, it had entertained her so much.

“And at the fucking risk of getting my head bitten off, well, maybe it’s because you still lust after what’s hanging directly above the gonads that you’re getting yourself so bent out of shape over him.”

Immediately, she sat a little more upright, her laughter stalled. “Order me the burrata salad to start and then the salmon penne. I’m going for a cigarette.”

“Avoidance tactics,” Carly chimed as Rin rose from her seat, discreetly offering her middle finger in salute.

“Bugger off.”

“Filthy habit,” she further teased, Rin mouthing that she was a knob, her clearly entertained friend giggling as she picked up her wine. “This could all be so much simpler for you if you weren’t so much like your dad.” she muttered, sipping the buttery smooth Sauvignon while looking down at the menu to make her choice.

They had a lovely night together, parting ways at just gone 10pm, Carly heading home and Rin calling a car to do the same. After stopping at a Tesco Express to purchase a bottle of Johnnie Walker Black, though, home was not where she ended up.

Sean was coming to the end of a five-mile treadmill run when the buzzer sounded through his penthouse, slowing the machine to walk before climbing off, his bare chest glistening with sweat.

“Yes?” he spoke into the intercom, seeing the woman upon the screen turn to reveal her face to the front entrance camera.

“Can we talk?”

She had a nerve, turning up out of the blue at 10:35pm. “That depends on whether I’m going to get lambasted all over again for trying to do the fucking right thing, Catherine.”

“You aren’t. Promise.” She knew she needed to give a little, Carly’s words hitting home with her a little. He buzzed her in, Rin moving to the lift, hitting the button for the penthouse. As it glided in ascent, she spoke sternly to herself, her internal monologue advising that she needed to keep calm and talk things through with him, apologise for her pride getting in the way the week before, that she was doing this for the greater good of business continuing to run smoothy, and for her daughter to have a father in her life. One who truly did want to be there.

All of her steely composure flew straight out the window when he opened the door to her, though, when her eyes nearly fell out of her head for seeing him there, shirtless and gleaming with sweat, his navy joggers so low slung she could almost see his...

“Well, don’t you look resplendent in Dolce and Gabbana,” he spoke, raising an eyebrow.

She cocked her head, swallowing hard. “How did you know this is D&G?”

He took a moment, his eyes roaming her slender curves. “I have an eye for quality.” The scent of her perfume wafted under his nose, spellbinding, those orchid notes reminding him how it felt to have his senses flooded by it, his eyes meeting hers.

Her body moved, yet her feet planted, her mouth agape as her chest and cheeks flushed, overcome by the sight of him like that, her throat drying. No. Not now. She willed her brain to take the reins away from the jockey that was her desire, steer her right, but she failed. It was too strong, charging away down a path she swore never to encroach upon again, moving in a second to press her mouth to his, his arms immediately locking around her as he kissed her back with all the heat of a thousand suns.

Now they were in trouble.

Flattened against the door, he pinned her there as they gave in to the torrent, his hands smoothing over her body, reaching to ruck her dress up around her waist, both panting furiously as their tongues rolled in an erotic dance, Sean grasping her thong and tearing it from her in one swift yank. It sent a flood to where she ached for him, her legs wrapping around him as he lifted her, pulling his joggers down just enough to free his cock and plunge it into her fully.

Lord, how she’d missed the feel of being split wide around him, kissing him in utter frenzy. It was mindless, feral sex, their need for one another rampant and unhinged, her body banging against the thick, black door as he fucked out every single wave of desire, longing and, if he was honest, utter contempt he held for her, his fingers dug in hard beneath her thighs.

It sizzled through her, each sparking pulse, tiny fireworks set to burn within her blood, crying out as he filled her again and again, his teeth at her neck scintillating, hanging onto him for dear life. It felt like he was attempting to fuck her right through the door, the pace barbaric, smouldering, everything she needed and had craved in the years they’d been parted.

It shimmered through them both, the crest of an almighty wave they rode until it crashed, washing over them entirely, Rin feeling completely mindless as she swam to the surface of her pleasure, desire glimmering down her spine. That was the moment her brain engaged, her breathless body pinned by his, their tightened muscles slackening as the divinity ebbed away.

Oh, god. Damn him. Damn him for being so fucking irresistible.

He was the first to speak, finally sobering from his orgasm enough to form words. “Please don’t tell me we’ve just possibly given Tiger a sibling.”

“We haven’t,” she panted, “IUD.”

“Oh, thank Christ.” He finally looked at her, withdrawing and placing her down, his mouth twitching a little. “So, you wanted to talk?”

“I did,” she confirmed, rearranging her dress, looking away. Easily, she could have throttled herself for her actions, hiding her face in her hands for a moment, dying a little. “For fucks sake! We’re such a mess.”

He raised an eyebrow, pulling his joggers and boxers back up again. “That we are, Catherine.” He paused, watching her run her hands over her hair, still looking desperately uncomfortable. “We could become less messy, though. Perhaps if we ceased the urge to needle at one another quite so much as we do.”

“Are you truly admitting to the fact that you do?” she asked, Sean feeling his blood flicker in annoyance.

“I am, yes. Because somebody who continues to fucking punish me for the mistakes of my past bloody deserves it. Know that for my part, it is only in retaliation,” he told her, walking over to his kitchen, Butch there in his bed, absolutely none the wiser to her arrival and subsequent pounding against the front door.

She pulled the bottle from her bag, nodding towards him. “It’s because you enjoy the fight, Sean. Don’t pretend that isn’t how it is.”

God. The Woman was insufferable. He turned to her, his nostrils flaring. “Stop it. If I can put my ego aside here and admit my transgressions, then so can you. You know full well you hold your power over me like a fucking sword of Damocles, in both business and with Tiger whenever the opportunity arises. Now, admit that, or get the fuck out. I’m going for a shower; I suggest you take the time I’m gone to consider that. Glasses are above the sink cupboard.”

She knew she had to, he was right, but god, it wasn’t easy. They were both just too similar, too – to use an analogy she herself had many times before – cut from the exact same cloth. Except this time, deep down Rin knew that Sean was right, and she loathed him for it all the more.

Life would be made exponentially easier for her if she simply ceased her desire to punish him, to realise that Carly was right. She had struck back against him more than evenly. The playing field was entirely equal once more.

Just last week she’d heard Ed Dumani offer peace towards Sean, and regardless of the fact he hadn’t been ready to accept, she knew that a clean slate was exactly what had to happen between her and the father of her child, so that ultimately that precious little girl didn’t suffer because of her parent’s rampant toxicity.

“I almost expected you to have done a runner.” His words pulled her from her thoughts, a freshly showered Sean entering the kitchen again, going to the cupboard himself to retrieve the glasses she’d been preoccupied from fetching. “I perhaps couldn’t blame you if you had.”

He poured two large measures, Rin thanking him as he slid hers across the black marble worktop, knocking it back in one. He followed suit. “Come on, it’s fucking cold in here and the lounge is warm.” They walked back out again, Butch still sleeping on with a series of deep snores, taking a seat upon the long, L shaped grey sofa, Sean refilling their glasses. “So, what did you come here with the intention of saying?”

Taking a breath, she closed her eyes for a second, seeing Tiger there in her mind’s eye. It forced her to take a lasso to her pride and give it several tethering yanks. “I want to apologise for my part in us continuing to have friction. It isn’t conducive to us healthily co-parenting Tiger, no matter how much I dislike you at times. I need to be better for my daughter.”

He snorted softly, sipping his drink. “At times? Catherine, you despise me near enough constantly.”

“Do you truly blame me for that?”

“Yes, I fucking do when you’ve had seven bloody years to get over it!” he spoke tersely. “I apologised to you, and it was sincere. I regret what I did to you, every fucking day I regret it, but god above, woman! You have to take your fucking boot off my bloody neck at some point.” She looked accepting of his words, albeit that acceptance bitter, Sean continuing in her silence. “I lost everything, went through hell after my father died, attempted to claw it back only to have you take it all again and only give it on your terms. Terms I have complied with.”

“But Sean...”

“No, for fucks sake, there isn’t a fucking but here! Stop fucking punishing me. If you want me to cease resenting you, then you have to stop making me sorry for something I already regret! I am doing everything in my power to prove worthiness, to prove most importantly that I can and will be a fit father for Tiger, but as soon as you perceive me to have any kind of upper hand, you fucking use her against me, like you did with the Persians!”

Her ire ramped in an instant. “You fucking enjoyed that, making me look small!”

“I didn’t want Bahram Forouhandeh to fucking kill you! I was looking out for you, you ignorant, insufferable woman!” His eyes were wide, exasperated as he scoffed, sinking his whiskey. “And yes, maybe I did derive a little joy from cutting you down, but bloody hell, Rin! Like you don’t do exactly the same to me at every fucking opportunity!”

“I just apologised, and you’re throwing it at me all over again!”

“Because you need to have it thrown at you all over a-bloody-gain to recognise what you’re doing to me!” He took a moment, his heart jackrabbiting in his chest, trying to calm down from the anger that had all too sharply risen. “Your father was exactly the same. On his terms or not at all. You? You’re better than that, and I am one of the very few people in your life who not only sees that, but isn’t too afraid of you to tell you either.”

Neither was Carly, and it wasn’t lost on her, how his statements more or less matched those of her oldest friend. She’d always taken pride in the fact people likened her to her father, but truly never dawned in her until right then that perhaps it wasn’t always a complimentary likeness.

Bolting back her drink, she took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Sean.” They were words that did not come easily, feeling bitter, like ashes in her mouth.

Standing, he picked up the bottle, moving to seat himself at her side, topping up her empty glass. “Finally. Now I only have to await a little sincerity in your actions going forward, and maybe my fucking blood pressure might lower a tad.”

Lifting the glass to her lips, she took a sip, nodding. “What would like first, then, for me to show this sincerity?”

“A blowjob wouldn’t go amiss.” He expected the light slap he received to the chest. “Well, you did ask.”

“And you just shagged the shit out of me against the front door not ten minutes ago!”

He smirked, his eyebrows twitching. “I never claimed not to he insatiable.”

Rolling her eyes, she rested her head back against the comfy sofa, biting her lip. He certainly never had, as a mere few minutes against the door had reminded her, should she have forgotten. “No, you definitely didn’t. I’m still not putting your cock in my mouth, though.”

“Spoil sport.” The conversation moved away from their dalliance into the verboten, talking instead about of work and life, and then of Tiger when they were over half a bottle into the whiskey.

“I know I say how perfect she is, the bias of being her mum, and she’s always so well-mannered when we meet up with you,” Rin began, her words peppered by giggles.

“Apart from when we took her on the Harry Potter tour and she had a meltdown mid-way round,” he interrupted with, remembering the squealing well.

“Yes, apart from that.” She paused again, looking pained. “You fucking have a habit of doing this to me, interrupting and making me forget what I was about to say!”

He snickered, flicking the side of her glass. “No, darling. That’s called alcohol.”

“Anyway, as I was saying…”

“As you were saying.”

God, how he knew how to wind her up, even when he was being playful rather than deliberately devious. “Be quiet, or I’ll black your other eye.”

“You bloody won’t,” he warned, “look at it, still purple.” It was, too, just a smidgen marking the skin violet around the socket.

“As I was saying, she isn’t the perfect, Tiger. She’s going through a phase of saying things she definitely shouldn’t at the moment. She called the window cleaner a dickhead the other day because he appeared suddenly and startled her.”

Predictably, Sean cracked up hard. “The profanity apple has not fallen far from the tree, I see.”

She laughed, cringing a little. “No, it certainly hasn’t. That child had bionic hearing, and stealth mode. I never know when she’s going to sneak up on me and overhear my vulgar mouth. Bastard shoes was another recent one, when she couldn’t get her little Timberland boots on because she hadn’t loosened the laces. Sokoro nearly pissed himself laughing at her.”

“When do you plan on telling her who I am?” he then asked, Rin feeling a little pit inside for the question, no matter how gently delivered.

“Soon, I think. Before our next meeting. She needs to know.”

He smiled. “Good plan.”

What was also a good plan to them that night was working their way through the rest of the Johnnie Walker, Rin feeling the effects strongly, not having much memory of the night. Upon waking the following morning, she certainly had no remembrance over how she’d ended up in Sean’s bed, her sober, slightly hungover self feeling a little flicker of panic.

They hadn’t... nope. Her underwear was still on, she felt after checking, her shuffling around stirring the body at her side.

“Morning,” he yawned, propping himself up. “I hope you don’t mind, but if you’d slept on the sofa you’d have only awoken to Butch trying to sit on your head, so I brought you in here.”

“You have more than one bedroom though, no?”

He might have been half asleep, but he heard the tease in her tones clearly. “I do, but the beds aren’t made up and I was too pissed to wrestle with a fucking duvet cover, so yes. Here you are.”

The warmth of him, the bright of his blue eyes, the scent of his skin. No. Not again.

“Here I am.” She looked down for a second, feeling a hand reach beneath her chin, Sean shifting closer, his heart quickening as she looked up from beneath her long, full eyelashes at him.

That time, he was the instigator of the kiss they fell into, his body moving to cover hers.

Now they were in trouble.

#sean wallace fanfiction #gangs of london fanfiction #sean wallace smut #sean wallace fanfic #sean wallace fic #sean wallace x ofc #gangs of london #gangs of london fanfic #gangs of london fic #joe cole #london will burn #sean and rin

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sheetsonfire · 2 years

Text

Old Flames Can Still Burn You | Part 2

Fandom: Chicago Med / Chicago PD

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Genre: Angst, drama, romance

Warnings: Descriptions of past domestic abuse, emotional manipulation, blackmail, panic attacks, self-harm (punching), brief mention of vomit, blood

Word Count: 4593

Prompt From @afro-hispwriter: Ava Bekker is from Reader's past, now together with Jay Halstead they must face the return of everything Reader wanted to escape from.

This is Part 2 - Part 1

Entering the ED with Jay, you are immediately the target of worried looks from Natalie, April and Will. Connor had presumably been called back to CT as he wasn’t supposed to be on the trauma service today. With Jay still by your side, you approach Maggie who is already heading in your direction.

“You feeling better now, sweetheart?” She asks, concern etched on her face but seemingly not trying to probe further.

You knew you might have to explain, but for now, you give your Charge Nurse a grateful smile.

“Yeah, I am Maggie, thank you. I’m sorry for disappearing for so long.” You feel guilt pang within you, that old haunting feeling of Ava disrupting your work-life was lurking in the shadows.

“Hey, none of that. It’s alright, we all need a moment sometimes.” She reaches out to squeeze your arm softly, turning to Jay with a teasing smile. “Where did she find you, Mr Halstead? Didn’t see you come into the ED today.”

Jay lets out a small laugh, shaking his head, Maggie missed absolutely nothing on her turf. “I was taking a witness statement up in paediatrics, bumped into Y/N, literally, as I was leaving.”

Maggie nods, “Well, I am very glad you were there, Jay.” She gestures her thumb behind her to Will, Natalie and April who are pretending to be busy with charts on the computers. Maggie turns to you, patting your arm again, “I’ve had those three on my case for the past half hour, please get them to simmer down?”

You roll your eyes, nodding with a small smile. It was fair enough that they needed an explanation, you had up and zoomed away from the lunch table without another word.

“I got this, Mags. Thanks. I promise I’ll tell you more later, alright?”

"Sure, hon. Whenever you're ready." She gives you an understanding look, before being called into action by an ambo arriving at the doors.

You watch her go and turn back to Jay who's got a tickled smile on his face.

"What?" Your brows furrow as your boyfriend points behind you.

You turn to see that now the trio was reduced to one. Will is still looking at you half with worry, half with impatience, whereas Natalie and April had been called in to assist by Maggie. You roll your eyes at the redhead, your own amusement creeping into your expression. You knew Will was just being protective and a good friend.

"Was your brother always this nosey?" You quip to your boyfriend.

"Oh yeah, that's why I became a cop, to stop him from snooping and getting in trouble." Jay smiles wryly, and you giggle.

"That sounds about right." You exhale, "Come on, then, let's go tell your brother the coveted gossip."

Your laughter fades slightly, the reality of having to share your past was no amusing matter. It held this fear that it would change people's perceptions of you, you knew your friends weren’t that unkind and yet it still made you nervous.

Jay becomes more serious as he catches on to the shift in your mood, and his hand returns to your back as you head towards Will. Knowing you'd have to update the others when they were free again.

You make it to the end of your shift well enough, a concerted effort had been made to push your anxieties and paranoia about Ava aside. You even managed to tell Natalie, April and Maggie with the result being very pissed-off friends and one determined boyfriend who were now committed to being vigilant on your behalf.

After multiple attempts to get him to go back to work, Jay had finally been reassured enough to return to the 21st so he could finish the progress on his current case. He had also made a promise to get in touch with the relevant unit within the CPD to get some kind of file or case started on Ava - even if the notable events had happened internationally, it would still be a significant start to make note of a cause for concern and monitoring.

The only person left on your mind was Connor, you had been worried ever since you returned to the ED after lunch. You fretted that he might think he had done something wrong, or that you were upset with him. Despite plans to text or call him once you were home, it was fortuitous that as you were walking in the parking lot, you spotted Connor heading to his car too.

"Connor!" You call out, walking with haste towards the surgeon as he spun on the spot to face you.

You come to stop in front of him, a slightly embarrassed smile on your face. But Connor's face is one of worry, "Hey, you alright? I didn't see you again after lunch, I thought you'd gone home. I'm sorry I didn't try and track you down, it was a total wall of procedures for the rest of the day."

You scoff, waving away his apology immediately. "Connor, seriously, you don't have to be sorry for doing your job. I'm sorry I ghosted you, I just... Well, first and foremost, nothing you did was wrong, okay?"

Connor nods, remaining silent to hear what you had to say.

“So, um, to be blunt... the reason I reacted the way I did at lunch is that I do know Ava from Groote Schuur. She and I were in a relationship, and uh, well, that ended up being…abusive for me.”

You could see Connor’s eyes show surprise at first, then darken with anger, he rests a hand on your shoulder. “Y/N, I had no idea you were so connected...God, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry that you went through that… is that why you came back to Chicago?”

You nod, feeling your whole body grow even colder in the parking lot. It felt somehow more raw telling Connor, you supposed it was because he had a day-to-day working relationship with Ava now. That 1-step removed proximity to someone who had so viciously uprooted your life was making your body tense.

“Mentally, it became intolerable and I picked up bad coping mechanisms that were not great for me physically either. So I ended up finding the courage to just wait for the right time when she was at a conference and leave, with the help of my department head they found me a spot back home here at Med. The higher-ups at Groote Schuur couldn’t afford their reputation to be tarnished by one of their most celebrated new talents being amidst a scandal, it was easier to just help me leave.” You sigh, laughing quietly in the strangeness of being open about everything after so long.

You can tell Connor is pissed off, and you partially wonder if telling him was a mistake, you didn’t want to kickstart animosity between him and Ava, that would surely only cause trouble for him and you - you certainly knew how Ava could be if she caught on to your resistance to her.

However, in your soul you knew it was the right thing to do, he should know to watch his back around Ava and you shouldn’t have to sugar coat anything to spare the drama, you had to keep sight of the fact that Chicago was your home, not hers.

“You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, but I want to be there for you. Maybe you, Jay and I could go for a drink at Molly’s tomorrow? I want to know how I can help you face this.”

You let the words sink in for a moment before you're wrapping your arms around Connor in a tight hug, “You are a good friend, Connor Rhodes. I would really like to have a drink with you and get you up to speed, I know Jay could use some R&R too.”

“That’s settled then, I’ll text you.” He smiles at you, you can tell it’s one of affection and not pity, and that sits better in your gut. Feeling more empowered now than you had all day.

“I’ll round up some more of the troops if you like, it’s been too long since we hung out outside of work.”

“Great, I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N, have a good night.” He gives you one last squeeze before you let him head to his car and you turn to go back to yours, a gentle bloom of hope creeping into your chest.

Texting Jay about tomorrow’s meetup at Molly’s, you let him know you’re on your way home and that you would take care of dinner. It was more than likely he wouldn’t beat you to the apartment and you wanted him to have something besides coffee and a half-eaten sandwich to sustain himself.

Pulling out of your space, you start to head towards the ramp that would take you to the exit from Med towards the busy streets of the city. You slow as you approach the exit lane to let someone across the parking lot, it was dark and you couldn’t really see who it was until they were right in front of the windscreen. Under the glow of the lights above the security barrier, the floodgates of dread reopened when you made eye contact with her, she had been concealed by her scarf and her hat before, but once her eyes met yours the eluding nature of Ava’s return became concrete fact.

Smug lips upturned, eyes full of calculating coldness, she waves at you and then keeps walking towards the parking lot. You’re frozen in the car as the engine runs, limbs heavy with adrenaline, staring ahead at the now lifted barrier. It's not until headlights begin shining through your back window to indicate someone else was trying to leave that you manage to snap out of it and move. With a shuddered breath you put the car back into gear and turn out onto the street away from the hospital, nervously checking the mirror with each passing street to make sure nobody was following you.

You couldn’t wait to be in the safety of your apartment and in Jay’s company.

The fact that you got home without incident seemed like a miracle to you, each car that stayed with you a little too long automatically became a threat that you would try to shake off by detouring a few streets over. It had got to the point where you were about ready to pull over and call Jay, but somehow you had kept it together long enough to finish the journey.

Even when you had parked and gone to the front doors of your apartment complex you had collected your mail from the row of secure boxes for your floor, and then proceeded to do several laps of the ground floor before feeling certain you were alone and able to take the elevator to your and Jay's apartment.

Rubbing at tired eyes you fished your keys from your bag and gave one last cursory glance back down the hall before letting yourself in. Immediately you turn on your heels to slide all three locks on the door over and tug at the door just in case the locks somehow magically slid back by themselves and left you vulnerable.

With a long inhale and equally long exhale you try and shake out the tension in your body, rolling your head from side to side to get the ache to leave. Rifling through the mail you had a few bills, there was some kind of insurance letter for Jay, a few bits of junk mail and another letter addressed to you.

This one was different.

The envelope was expensive, the quality you had seen before. The handwriting was recognisable, and the seal on the back was stamped with a Springbok, the national animal of South Africa. Once you had seen the animal, it was the nail to the coffin.

"No....No, no fucking way." Your voice is raised to the emptiness of the apartment, the sensation of bugs skittering over your skin. You felt like sending your fist through the drywall as you hastily sliced open the envelope.

[Missed you, sweetheart. I'm here now, I owe you an apology for not being more present at home, everything's going to get better again. Don't be a stranger, let’s have drinks with your friends.]

The crisp cream-coloured card with the neat cursive didn't need to be signed for you to know the sender. You felt yourself gag, the rage and the distress clawed their way through your throat and you let your legs carry you in a panic to the bathroom, knees hitting the tiled floor harshly as you emptied the contents of your stomach into the toilet. Intense pressure throbbed through the back of your skull into your eyes, the pain making you let out a groaned wail as you dry heaved over the toilet. Nose running and eyes watering you fell back against the glass shower panel, garbled sobs turning your breathing into stuttered gasps.

“Fuck you!” You tried to yell to the nothingness as your anger and sadness rolled within you. How could she know where you lived? How could she know about Jay? Did she deliver the letter in person? So many thoughts raced through your mind, your body trembling. “Just fuck off!” You yell to the bathroom ceiling, taking a swing at the porcelain column of the sink and feel the brute force of your knuckles hitting the solid material, it aches perfectly and you do it again, enjoying the release it gives you.

This is exactly what you had steered yourself away from in South Africa, the compulsion to hurt physically to distract from your mental distress. You repeat the process 5, 6 more times until your hand matches the throbbing of your head, you snatch the letter with bleeding split skin staining the card, and toss it across the room out into the hall. Clenching your fist hard you feel the burn of bruised knuckles as your hitched breaths turn into a laboured rhythm, trying to bring yourself back under control. The outburst and the long day behind you have you exhausted, you slant into a lying down position, staring at the white tiles in disbelief.

It’s after 8pm when Jay finally gets to the front door, with a relieved sigh he turns the key in the door, happy to finally be home to you. It’s with a confused grunt that he tries to push the door, only to find that all three deadbolts are secure. Something that only really happened at bedtime or when Jay was away.

Checking his messages he sees that there’s nothing from you, not since you had told him you were leaving the hospital. No confirmation of arriving home, and no heads up about the latches. A worry forms in the pit of his stomach, it was unusual for you not to confirm you were home and waiting for him, but he rationalises that you could just be distracted given today’s revelations. So he presses your name on the screen and waits for the ring.

From behind the front door, he can hear the faint sounds of the ringtone you had just for him, but no sign of movement from you, at all. He calls again, figuring maybe you fell asleep or were in the shower. After the third ring, he’s about ready to call the fire department and get someone to break the door. That is until he hears footsteps and each of the deadbolts being slid back across to open.

On the last deadbolt, he pockets his key and waits for you to open the door.

He's about to ask a myriad of questions, yet the sight that greets him is almost as frightening as what he had imagined he would find once the fire department had got him in.

You looked like a shadow of yourself, the smile you offered your boyfriend was everything but. It was more of a pained grimace and Jay could see why, your hand hung limply by your side. It was now hues of red and purple, dried blood streaking all over your hand down to your wrist, eyes bloodshot from crying. Jay immediately shuts the door, re-latches everything and discards his weapon into the safety box as quickly as possible.

“Jesus, sweetheart, what-” But Jay doesn’t get the chance to finish, as he turns back to you he can see you shaking your head in a pleading manner.

“Please, Jay…not yet.” Your voice is barely a murmur, hoarse and croaked from the yelling. He nods, still glancing at your hand, he wouldn’t let that go untreated for very long, but for now, he compromises and silently guides you to sit on the sofa.

He knows you’ll give him answers eventually, but it’s clear that right now you’re not going to say very much as you sink into his embrace, not caring for your hand in the least as you wrap yourself around him, climbing into his lap and holding him tight, your face buried into his neck as fresh hot tears soak his shirt.

“I’m right here, Y/N. You’re not alone. I got you, baby.” Jay lets his voice lull you out of your skittish state, you inhale his aftershave and seek his warmth, trying to burn the thought of her out of your mind for even a few minutes. Your hand stings and throbs, your eyes are sore, and every part of you aches, but you just push it all away in favour of Jay’s embrace. An arm wraps securely around you as the other carefully rubs up and down your back, rocking you slightly as he lets you get it all out.

It’s another 20 minutes by Jay’s reckoning until you speak again, he thought you’d fallen asleep until your quiet voice grabs him out of his own worried trance.

You pull back from Jay’s neck, finally looking him in the eyes as you use your better hand to stroke his face, he smiles softly, eyes still awash with concern. You swallow, sighing, eyes shutting for a moment as you find the words to explain what the hell Jay had come home to.

“She sent a letter here…or delivered it, I’m not sure. Not totally unlikely considering she apparently knows where we are. She saw me in the parking lot too, probably timed it just right so she would cross paths with me. She waved…she had this smugness on her face and I was just frozen as though I’d literally seen a ghost passing in front of me.”

Jay had been mentally building a case against Ava before he got home and now, with anger ticking up by the second, he was ready to unleash the fury of charges against her. It was unsettling to see how thoroughly she had wrecked your equilibrium, you had done so much work to feel in control again, to allow yourself to feel respected and loved in your relationship with Jay - it killed him to think that some of that had been deconstructed again.

Jay knew your heart, he knew how determined you were to not let this woman back into your life, to hold your ground, but he also knew how difficult that could be when the past came snooping back around, so brazenly at that.

“I want to see that letter… did she sign it? Leave anything that would indicate it is actually her?”

A look passes across your face, you knew you were feeling defensive right now. However, Jay could read your expression easily enough, he moves a hand to your cheek, gently focusing your eyes on his.

“Y/N, I believe you, it’s alright. Of course, I know it’s her, but we need to start flagging concrete evidence points, things that have her name or other identifiers on them. I hate how it’s made you feel, baby, but the fact that she’s already playing games? That’s stupid and it’s also good for us, it means she’s gonna slip up the more she seeks that attention and bite back, and that’s when we’re going to nail her ass.”

Jay soothes his thumb over your temple, pressing a kiss to your forehead, and you make a noise of contentment. You sigh, he was right, of course. No matter how badly you wanted Ava to disappear, she wasn't going to, so it was better to have every shred of ammunition possible.

“Sorry, I’m just on edge. You’re right, it’s good that she’s chosen this way, makes it easier to get pissed and fight back. And I am gonna fight her at every turn, Jay. I lost my shit today, but I won’t let her do that to me again.”

The melancholy sat in your chest, but with Jay back home and a chance to talk it out, you were feeling levels better than you had when you got home, and after you'd let Jay in.

The layers of fog were starting to dissipate once more, which meant your headache and hand were coming back with full force.

“Ow.” You groan, smiling sheepishly at Jay who shakes his head in a teasing yet chastising manner.

“Can we sort that hand out now, please? Even I can tell it’s messed up. And your face says that your head is trying to split in two.”

“So perceptive, Detective.” You tease lightly, taking a deep breath when you realise just how queasy you feel, you never finished lunch and you hadn’t had dinner either.

Jay raises his eyebrows, silently asking if you were going to let him take care of you and not be a total doctor cliche.

"I'll let you take care of me, only if I take on the task of calling in the takeout." Your lips are upturned, trying to suppress your giggle.

Your boyfriend smirks, kissing your forehead again. “Deal. We’ll get your hand elevated, get a compress for that and your head, and find you some painkillers. You don’t think it’s broken do you?” Jay gestures to your hand and you shake your head,

“Not broken, just messed up.” You smile apologetically, quoting his description back to him.

“Okay.” Jay lets out a relieved breath, he hated seeing you hurt.

You hum, nuzzling into his neck for a moment, letting out a comforted sigh,

"Ready?" He asks softly, happy to help you in any way required.

You nod, shifting so you can climb off of him, "I'm ready."

Jay helps you stand, mindful of your hand as he helps you towards the bathroom where he could clean you up properly. You felt guilty for not making dinner, and for causing Jay such a panic.

"Jay, I'm really sorry for worrying you, and I'm so sorry about dinner..."

He glances at you as he makes sure not to knock you as he shuts the toilet lid and sits you down. “Hey, don’t even go there, alright? It hasn't even been 24 hours since this all kicked off, cut yourself some slack. We’re gonna get rid of those aches, get you in some pyjamas, eat takeout and cuddle until we’re just one snuggled blob on the couch. We're taking each day as it comes, and I don't want to hear apologies for something you haven't done.”

You lean up from your sitting position, trying to tug him down so you could kiss him softly. "Okay... I love you."

He hums as your lips press to his, "I love you, never doubt it."

Then his nose wrinkles but you can see him try to recover and act as if nothing was wrong. You're confused for a moment and then you stare horrified, realising the problem.

"Oh my god, Jay. I can't believe I just kissed you with my goddamn gross mouth...."

There's a blush on his cheeks as he realises he wasn't good at covering his reaction, he didn't want you to feel self-conscious about feeling unwell.

He gently cups your face, shaking his head. "Y/N, it's not a big deal. Let's brush some teeth and crack open the mouthwash, hm, then I want to kiss you over and over and over and-"

You're laughing now, properly, covering your face in embarrassment but also giddiness at how good Jay Halstead was.

"Mouthwash shots it is, line 'em up, bartender."

"You got it, ma'am." Jay puts on an accent that has you laughing more, making a face at the use of 'ma'am', he knew you hated how formal that sounded.

He teases his way through helping you feel more refreshed and taking care of whatever ailments you had, it felt like no issue nor any time at all and before you knew it you were tucked under Jay's arm with your head on his chest, occasionally leaning up for sweet kisses as you started to doze in front of the TV.

Around midnight Jay gently rouses you so he can get you to bed, your hand was now secure to your chest in a sling, trying to get the swelling to go down and to avoid it being jostled in the night.

With bleary eyes and an adorable yawn, according to your boyfriend, you wobble under Jay’s guiding hands to the bedroom. He carefully helps you get tucked in as he sets more painkillers and some water on the bedside table, he kisses your forehead and you crack an eye open,

“You got another case?” You ask sleepily,

Jay shakes his head, “No it’s okay, I’m just gonna check in with Voight about something, and then I’ll be right back, I promise.”

You gently caress Jay’s forearm, eyes rapidly losing the fight against sleep once more,

“M’kay, don’t stay up too long, you need rest too and…I wan-want my pillow. L’ve y’...” Jay smiles as you don’t quite finish your sentence, he kisses your forehead again as he straightens back up,

“Love you too, baby.”

Jay potters around the apartment, tidying away the takeout boxes and washing up your dishes. He makes sure everything is locked securely and picks up a few stray items of clothing, odd bits and bobs that need putting away.

He then comes to a standstill in front of the bloodied card and envelope that had since been sealed in a freezer bag and left on the kitchen table, he began studying it from the outside of its confines. Jay’s jaw clenched, it really wasn’t much to go on seeing as the letter wouldn’t be considered threatening and Ava had been diligent to leave no kind of identifier on either the envelope or the card. The envelope wasn’t stamped with a real stamp either, Jay supposed you had been too rattled to realise that the stamp was one of those vintage fake stamps you could get for scrapbooking. This meant Ava had delivered the card personally, which for some reason made Jay’s blood boil that little bit more.

He wondered how she had got the address, the obvious answer being she had somehow gone to HR and wrangled personal records, somebody there had been stupid enough to let her snoop or even worse give her the information directly.

It wasn’t much to use yet, but Jay was damn sure he was going to have plenty by the end of this, and he wasn’t going to miss his chance to make Ava Bekker regret ever coming near you again.

End Of Part 2

Go back to Part 1

Tags: @dumb-fawkin-bitch - @afro-hispwriter - @resanoona - @elius-learns-to-write - @campingmonkey - @sorry-i-spaced - @timbradfordsboot - @itsdesiree86

#jay halstead x reader #one chicago #jay halstead #old flames can still burn you #chicago pd #chicago med

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stevetonyweekly · 1 year

Text

SteveTony Weekly - March 26th

Hello and welcome to this week’s reads. I was on a bit of a superfamily kick this week, so there’s a fair bit of kids in the mix. Enjoy and be sure to give your fic authors a kudos/comment!

~*~

A Partial Dictionary Of The 21st Century By Captain Steve Rogers, US Army by copperbadge

Steve is adapting well to the new millennium, and he has the dictionary to prove it.

***we survived the great war by meidui

When the dust settles and the blood dries, they reach for each other.

***Unbearably Adorable by iam93percentstardust

Steve's boyfriend gets stuck in his animal form by one of Loki's spells. Somehow, this is not the hardest part of Steve's day (that would be the Avengers' Instagram account).

***I Watch Your Fingers Working Overtime by royal_chandler

“Who knew that a heatwave could make Steve Rogers so petulant?” There’s a brightness to Tony’s eyes, like his brain is whirring behind them and hurriedly filing away this brand new piece of information.

Stuck in Chicago during a heatwave, Steve and Tony find a way to cool off.

winged by meidui

Steve temporarily grows a pair of wings on the sides of his head. Tony uses this to his advantage.

I don't care (go on and tear me apart) by AvengersNewB for Kiyaar

Tony finds himself tied up in an unknown place. Steve is there but not to help Tony; he has a whole other agenda.

————————

“No Tony, that’s not how it works. I don’t wanna ask you. I wanna make you. I wanna hurt you, fuck you, and then hurt you some more, and I don’t need your permission for it.”

Tony holds Steve’s gaze breathing hard, terrified that he can’t find the earnest, sweet stars that always shine in Steve’s eyes.

“That is what I want. The fact that you’re so fucking into it is a bonus.” He reaches down to palms his own cock from over the fabric. “You’re so good for me, Tony, even when you don’t want to be.”

Christmas, My Child, Is Love In Action by royal_chandler

It doesn't take too long for Peter to make a decision. After his dad leaves to go finish his last minute gift-wrapping, Peter heads to the living room. It's dim, shadowed by the twinkling holiday lights. His pop is staring into the Christmas tree, startles when Peter says by way of greeting, "According to Google, you’re nesting."

More Than the Average Good by royal_chandler for

Tony hadn't taken flight in nearly five months before Steve Rogers—plunged into the Potomac—finally gave him a reason to.

I'm Here, Sweetheart by DaftPunk_DeLorean

When Tony gets grievously injured at a press conference, Steve just about loses his mind with worry. And not only because they are best friends, or teammates, or colleagues. No one could blame Steve for his reaction, knowing that he and Tony were married. The problem was, no one knew.

Caffeine, Otherwise Known as the Key to Tony Stark's Heart by sol-nox (parasoling)

A new coffee shop opens across the street from Stark Tower. Steve is the hot, sweet and predictably clueless owner. Tony tries to do what he does best.

Steve Rogers' Life Is Not A Romance Movie (He Wouldn't Get The References, Anyway) by someonelsesheart

Steve hasn't always had this ridiculous crush on Tony Stark.

(Or, the one where Steve is his polite old self and doesn't really hate Tony Stark (unfortunately), Tony is a child progidy and apparently a cab driver now, too, and high school is still high school, even when you are the son of a billionaire.)

Looking After America by copperbadge

Steve tries to shake off a bullet, but Tony takes charge.

finding steve rogers by jacobby

Steve sighs. “Sorry. I wasn’t a very good tour guide. Ma always told me about the town, but she never got into specifics.”

Tony takes Steve’s hand in his and places it close to his lips. “It’s your first time here too. We understand.”

AKA

After a botched mission with SHIELD, Steve takes a vacation with his family to a town in Ireland.

Sit on the floor wearing your clothes by Raw_Ramen_Noodles

If Tony was being honest, he just wanted to go home. Actually, if Tony was honest, he would probably still be at home. Unfortunately he’s trapped in another universe with its own set of problems, and he’s going to need help to get back. Double unfortunately, he’s not quite sure who to trust.

Parent/Teacher Night by CapnShellhead (orphan_account)

When Steve's best friend James Barnes died overseas, his son James was given to Steve to raise. Steve did the best he could, throwing himself into being a parent with the same focus he did everything else. So, when he showed up to Parent/Teacher night, he was determined to make a good impression on James' favorite teacher.

Of course, like everything else in Steve's life, things didn't go according to plan.

From The Past by sara_holmes

"When Steve turns up at the tower late one night in December, looking gaunt and exhausted and like he could fall down right there in the lobby, Tony doesn’t say a word about how long it’s taken."

every dong has its day by orphan_account

it’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion of the ocean.

-ancient chinese proverb

(aka that time z wrote 8k worth of dick jokes.)

I'll Picture You by royal_chandler

Even with having no idea where he'll land, Steve jumps.

Parentheses by royal_chandler

The only thing that could maybe redeem this entirely unfair situation is the Tom Ford that Steve’s immaculately dressed in.

#stevetony weekly #stevetony #stony #stony fic #stevetony fic #stony fic recs #stevetony fic recs #stteve rogers #tony stark #captain ameriqueue #iron man #fic rec #rec list #fanfiction rec list

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onlinegratitudes333 · 6 months

Text

Grateful for:

Friends!!! Spending time w friends again, going over to someone’s house

Live music; goth and punk scenes around chicago

Trans women and the music they make (thinking abt Ada rook today) …

My gay boyfriend, even spending time apart from him which is hard but I think necessary

Having money sort of

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spookfished · 8 months

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big media roundup (july edition)

hellooo again welcome to my media roundup, where i talk about things i read/watched/played this month! (…and by last month i mean AN ENTIRE MONTH AGO. WOOPS in my defense i got sick [better now]) in july i downloaded tachij2k, which im going to be shilling forever as the best way to read manga on android (apk on github here) this also means that ive been reading like, a Lot of manga lol so i split books + comics into two.

books:

vita nostra by Marina and Sergey Dyachenko: a metaphysics-ish novel about a girl who is blackmailed into going to a magic school. sort of a subversion where (unlike many magic school books) it basically is all about learning and stuff? im kind of a sucker for books written by married couples i think its really cute and also kind of fascinating... um i sort of disagree with its approach to pedagogy but its also sort of about the blood sweat and tears part of learning,, where i usually quit beforehand LOL. got that eastern european hopeless and drudgery (?) but idk i would definitely recommend

the great believers by rebecca makkai: historical fiction that swaps between an art curator-y guy living through the aids epidemic in chicago and his friend in the present who is trying to reunite w her estranged daughter. i really liked this!! super devastating obviously literally scooped me like a melon. very well researched! i hadnt really grasped like. the sheer terror and paranoia? that happened during the aids epidemic before..... thats my lack of contemp history knowledge but it was good i learned a lot. liked the theme of sort of surviving through tragedy and even after.. and the line drawn between the lost generation (war) and yales own exp (EDIT: found sth i wrote after reading the book which said "people are living their own intricate and mundane stories and then the stories of the world smash straight through them")

assassin of reality (vita nostra sequel): sasha knows what she will become--has embraced it, even. but theres always something that can be lost, and the institute still has a heavy hand over her.<or sth like that??? the reveals of the last book kind of make it a hard act to follow and the book definitely felt a lot more abstract... ik some people complained about the romantic subplots but i feel like it gives stakes and grounds everything else, yk? it gives you a thread to hold onto otherwise i mightve given up LMFAO that being said i did enjoy it :3 wondering if what happened to the authors will change the vibe of the next book... :(

you exist too much by zaina arafat: literary fiction about a bisexual palestinian american woman who struggles with her addiction to unattainable love, which has led her to cheat in several relationships. this book didnt really resonate with me.. um i actually ended up writing like 500 words of review for this but its pretty negative. so if youre interested check it out here https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/970847361775591466/1147613251933306921/image.png

movies/tv: room with a view: a young english girl travels to italy and finds love there--but has to choose between that love and a 'proper' life. ok this was fine. idk it was cute and funny sometimes but didnt leave that much of an impression sorry :T

past lives: two childhood friends reconnect, lose touch, then reconnect again. aughjjj those two silent minutes where they were waiting for her ride were so freaking agonizing. really good acting pretty film i just enjoyed it a lot in general! :3 i didnt like the boyfriend that much at first but the conversation they had in bed made them feel like a real relationship, you know? wish theyd had a 3some though maybe it will happen in past lives 2: paster life. idk its like most of the time we dont grow up to be who we thought wed be or do what we thought wed do... but is that really so bad? cant you still be happy? *clutches my head

nimona (movie): adaptation of the comic above! um this was fine i think i was a little disappointed bc the jokes felt a little overplayed/didnt really land? and i was mentally comparing it to the comic but then rereading i was like oh these jokes dont really hit for me either.. so who am i comparing this to LOL i think it would have meant a lot to me in middle school, so maybe it will mean something to middle schoolers now. also ppl fought really hard for it to be made so i feel like i need to give it more credit. my mutuals meta also made me appreciate it more :3 https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/687877902200471552/1126752893312184390/image.png barbie movie: not going to recap the barbie movie sorry. i actually watched this twice it was really fun :3 i wouldnt necessarily say it was a Cultural Milestone or anything but it was cute to see everyone dressed up for the movie.. plus i love velveteen rabbit type storylines. i think ken got the right amount of screentime (its not his movie!) but i loved his dance number and the battle scene :3 and the outfitss idk im not super caught up on the movie scene but it feels like there have been a lot of ugly movies recently. i enjoyed it

the rehearsal: a "reality" show about nathan fielder, who believes that any difficult situation can be rehearsed--and has the budget to put that belief into practice. ok like last year or sth everyone was like omg this show was sooo good but i didnt really get what it was about? but its actually really so interesting.. and the whole blurring between fiction and reality as well as the audience not really knowing which parts are staged and which parts are 'real' is so fun! i was a little bit disappointed when it diverged from the episodic format but that ended up paying off bigtime and was really like idk heartbreaking and funny and all of that. very recommend 👍

video games:

super mario odyssey: (replay)super fucking mario yay!!! in the long run, odyssey didnt have as much like. cultural staying power as botw did (they were both switch launch titles) but its still soooo imaginative and pretty and dense! i love platformers love 2 run and jump.

visual media: he was my brother: psych horror manga about a young girl who tries to grow closer to her recently-deceased brother's partner. omg i had so much fun with this the art is so atmospheric and delightfully creepy...REALLY mind the warnings though. i think i ended up reading all of it in one sitting lmfao

nimona comic (reread): classic villain ballister blackheart is looking for a competent sidekick, but what he gets is nimona, a shapeshifting weirdo kid with secrets. i remember trying to reread this and going wow.... is nimona not as good as i remember? am i old? but it was actually just like early webcomic weirdness nimona is still pretty good! yay :3 i still like the comic better but i respect how they are adapted to their respective mediums and also come from different phases in the og authors life

The story of how I came to know my favourite announcer has a side to her I would have never imagined: oneshot f/f w the premise in the title. whether i write down stuff like this is pretty hit or miss lol and i had to look this one up to rmbr what it was but the art is so cute...simple plot but i enjoyed it :3

crossplay love otaku x punk: romcom where two highschoolers fall in love with the other's crossdressing alter ego (m/m?). i really liked this one actuallyyy its so silly and im also a sucker for love square shenanigans. ok also now that someone else said they think hana/shuumei is endgame so im thinking about it. not the right perspective for this but the crossdressing isnt really overly fetishized or like seen as bad or anything? also ppl make some really funny faces in this

breathless momentum (vol 2+3): r two womanizing musicians find love... in each other!? this is also another one of my favorites :3 the leads are so fun and also music yay music! i really appreciate when a romance is still able to present an interesting story even after the couple has gotten together..

damekoi r: sequel to "please love this useless me," (damekoi is like.. useless passion? i think) which is about a woman in her 30s who spends all her money on her college boyfriend and goes into debt and falls in with her shitty former boss. omg it was soooo cute like i already said its a romance set after the main couple has already gotten together. which is my favorite. but these guys are really fucking weird so they still have a lot of problems. having Another Man who fits michikos type and isnt totally evil come in to destabilize shibata and kurosawas relationship doesnt feel cheap bc their relationship is already not very stable? lol i think the first one is worth checking out if you love pathetic women

mr villains day off: a gag manga about an alien supervillain on his days off. ok this one is pretty much just centered around this fluffy guy who likes to look at pandas but its extremely not very deep but its very cute... i like it... i also like pandas

how do we relationship/so do you want to go out, or (reread): f/f slice of life/drama manga about a girls first lesbian relationship in college. ok this is like "the" yuri manga for me i would recommend it to any fans of femslash its like sort of very realistic feeling? in the way that a relationship can sort of degrade slowly through lack of communication and being different people i think its really great 👍

ichinose familys seven deadly sins: psychological drama. an entire family wakes up with amnesia from a car crash. they dont remember themselves or each other, but pledge to stay together and relearn how to be a family and try to find their memories again. but is it really worth digging up the past...? man this one really goes off the rails. but like in a fun way? has an interesting arc going on rn about like... what allowances do we give, what are we willing to forgive in a stranger vs a family member. pretty interesting!

oshi no ko (catchup): psych thriller about the twin children of a famous idol trying to deal with the legacy she leaves behind. ive been talking about this manga for a while to my friends lol its kind of like riverdale in that its sort of very good, sort of very bad--but overall just super engrossing! which makes sense in a way bc its about the entertainment industry but also about the relationship between an idol and their fan... um not so sure about recent developments though lol. a little bit scared to see where things go

blue period (catchup): a delinquent boy used to going with the flow decides to go to the top art school in japan. yeah blue period is really good. hope this helps 👍lets all never go to art school ever ok ^_^

still sick: f/f about an office lady who finds out her coworker writes and sells yuri doujins (like illustrated fanfiction?) on the side. its a classic! was nice to finally get around to finishing it :3

liar satsuki can see death: thriller about a girl who can see peoples deaths and tries to prevent them--except everyone thinks shes just a liar. ok this is notable bc it has the exact same like adventures and gaybait as shounen but its all girls instead. its good light entertainment! sometimes is um kind of horny for sth about high school girls so ymmv on that one

farming for love: m/m romance about a pharmacist who moves to the country after a bad breakup and meets a ~strong but silent farmer~. pretty average, but fun if youre into that kind of thing! not sure if i would really recommend it lol

chainsaw man 2: set after the events of chainsaw man proper, its an action shounen focusing on asa mitaka, a girl who kinda sucks :3 chainsaw man is so fun yayyy im happy to be reading it again excited to get hit by some more bricks! asa is a wonderful protagonist and fujimoto continues to write comitragedy (?) in a way thats kinda obscene but also very cool 👍rip single father denji

skip and loafer (comic): slice of life about an ambitious but awkward girl who comes from the country to start her high school life in tokyo!!!! and some guy i guess. omg ok this is like the slice of life manga for me rn (the anime is really good! finished recently check it out) its just really warm and nice. autistic girls win always lol truly a comic that makes you feel like there is love in the world

no home: webtoon drama about two guys who are trapped together in a haunted dorm. ok this comic makes me really depressed but its also about people who make each other better despite their best efforts. and also violence and hatred its really really good 👍sad about recent updates though.. i guess maybe the characters werent really meant to be friends in the long term

this took me like two weeks to write and now im in a different state LOL so um if you got to the end...thanks for reading!

#txt #hmm its a bit harder to do these when ive read the thing so long ago... woops

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maddieladner1999 · 4 months

Text

Bad Idea Right? Chapter 10

EJ was free from his father but that meant he had no money. And all his jobs during the school year being at school he needed one this summer. Ricky kept assuring him he didn’t need to work all summer but EJ didn’t wanna just live off his aunt and uncle forever. So he decided to get a job.

He headed into town to see that big red’s family pizza shop was hiring so he went in to apply. He ran into big red immediately.

Big red: EJ? You’re home for the summer?

EJ: yep! I promised Ricky I’d be here all summer. We’re visiting his mom in Chicago later this summer.

Big red: that’s good to hear. So what are you doing here?

EJ: well as you may know, my dad cut me off and all my jobs are back at school so I am actually here to apply for a job

Big Red: well color me surprised.

EJ: why are you surprised? I’m not just gonna let everyone else pay for me all summer

Big red: that’s not why although I’m impressed you’re at this stage in your life. I meant I’m surprised you wanna work here

EJ: why wouldn’t I? I need a job in town, you’re hiring, what’s the problem?

Big Red: nothing I guess just knowing I work here isn’t gonna be weird

EJ: my boyfriend’s best friend? Maybe we can get on good terms being so close by. I don’t hate you red. Never did.

Big red: I didn’t think you did it’s just idk. You went from the rich kid to applying to work at my family’s shop. It’s weird.

EJ: I guess I’m already adjusted then. I can try somewhere else if you don’t want me to work here

Big red: no it’s fine. I’ll get you an application.

Big red brings EJ an application from the back and EJ starts filling it out. He planned on applying for a job so he had his resume handy. He finished up and brought it to red with a resume.

Big red: wow that was fast you even have your resume

EJ: it’s not my first rodeo. Plus I planned on filling out applications anyway.

Big red: well we will get back with you by the end of the week then

EJ: thanks. I’ll see you around maybe?

Big red: yeah with Ricky maybe.

EJ left and decided not to apply to any other jobs until he heard back. He didn’t need 3 just 1. He decided to see if Ricky was up yet so he gave him a call

Ricky answers and is still sleepy so he has sleepy voice. “Hey”

EJ: good morning sunshine. Did I wake you?

Ricky: no I just hadn’t gotten out of bed yet.

EJ: I guess as long as I didn’t wake you.

Ricky: why you calling so early anyway? It’s summer sleep a little

EJ: look I know you told me I don’t need a job this summer but I’ve decided to get one anyway. I’m used to taking care of myself I’d like to keep it that way. Besides anything I don’t spend can go toward film school.

Ricky: ah so you’re out looking for summer jobs

EJ: yes. And I already applied at big reds family pizza place.

Ricky: you applied at slices? How’d that go?

EJ: I ran into big red and we chatted. He was surprised I wanted to work there. I was like I don’t hate you and you’re hiring so why not

Ricky: so he let you apply?

EJ: yeah said they’d get back to me by end of the week.

Ricky: good for you. So is that all?

EJ: yeah why you gonna go back to sleep?

Ricky: no I got up and made some cereal while we talked. I was gonna ask you to come over.

EJ: I can do that. Be there in 5.

Ricky: ok I love you babe.

EJ drives over to Ricky’s and gets out and knocks on the door. He’s immediately greeted by Ricky who is shirtless in sweat pants eating cereal. EJ can’t help but admire his handsome boyfriend

Ricky: you gonna come in or just stand there checking me out?

EJ: I can’t help it you are handsome

Ricky: not as handsome as you.

EJ: oh yeah? You think I’m prettier than you?

Ricky: of course I do. Everyone does. You’re the prettiest boy in Salt Lake City

EJ: you say the sweetest things to me

Ricky: anyway how about we finish glee. We are on season 5 now.

EJ: good idea. Then we can find another show to watch.

EJ and Ricky start watching glee again and cuddle throughout on the couch until Ricky’s dad gets home. Mike walks in to see them there and clears his throat. They immediately jump apart and pause the show. They watched a few episodes.

Mike: At least you were on the couch. Would hate to have seen something else

Ricky: dad I wouldn’t do that with you here. I don’t even think I’d do that here anyway

Mike: if you do it anyway you better stay safe. Protection you know

Ricky: yes dad I know now please stop embarrassing me

Mike: I’m sorry son I have a fatherly duty. And I thought EJ might need that advice too you know given his history

EJ: thanks Mr. Bowen.

Mike: please call me Mike. You staying for dinner EJ?

Ricky looks at EJ with puppy eyes telling him to please stay

EJ: yeah I’ll stay. What are we having?

Mike: I honestly was just gonna order takeout. Chinese ok?

Ricky and EJ say yeah at the same time and resume their show. They don’t go back to cuddling but they are sitting close. Ricky eventually puts his head on EJ’s shoulder. Mike leaves the room.

EJ: you sleepy? Or just like cuddling up to me?

Ricky: both. You have the perfect shoulders for being a pillow

EJ: thanks I think

A knock on the door interrupts them and Mike comes in with the money. He answers the door, pays for the food, gets the food and brings it to the table.

Mike: hey boys foods here

EJ: we’re coming

EJ pauses the show and they get up and join Mike at the table. They eat and chat about EJ’s film school plans. Mr. Bowen is proud of him. After dinner, EJ goes to his aunt and uncles house after texting Ricky good night. Ricky replies of course.

#ej caswell #Ricky Bowen #badidearight #fanfiction #caswen #mike Bowen #big red

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fanvergentshadowhunter29 · 2 years

Conversation

If Allegiant never happened (Father's Day Edition)

Tobias: Oh you're my daughter's boyfriend?

Tris: Wait hold up, seriously?!

Le Boyfriend: Uhhh yeah, your daughter's a freaking genius.

Tris: Yeah, we know.

Tobias: But do you know about 'that'?

Le Boyfriend: Oh about her divergence? I got no such problem sir-

Tobias: No, the research and practice.

Le Boyfriend: W-what?

Tris: *heads out of the room subtly*

Tobias: She has a weapon, *insert a dangerous weapon i guess and for me it's an electric whip*

Le Boyfriend: Wait what-

Tobias: She has a full research plan on world domination-

Le Boyfriend: Come on, everybody likes the idea-

Tobias: It's accurate and correct though.

Le Boyfriend: Then why hasn't she implemented it yet.

Tobias: I told her not to.

Le Boyfriend: You're a good dad-

Tobias: No, because if a war would happen again, imagine all the crappy leader meetings we would have again. They don't have any sort of organizational skills.

Le Boyfriend:

Fourtris daughter: Hey guys, just wanted to check in on you two. All good so far?

Tobias: So far, yes.

*fourtris daughter looks at le boyfriend*

Le Boyfriend: I'm gonna g-go. Nice m-meeting you all.

*Le Boyfriend leaves*

Fourtris daughter: Did you scare him?

Tobias: Not really, I sorta told him your plan.

Fourtris daughter: My plan for making Chicago a better place by taking more charge and power?

Tobias: Sure, that one.

Tris *comes back*: Did you scare him?

Tobias: Yes.

Fourtris daughter: I'm finally getting rid of the acid washed jeans creep! Woo!

#fourtris #Tobias Eaton #tris prior #happy fathers day #divergent #incorrect divergent quotes #insurgent #allegiant

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vamprnce · 2 years

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Chris lore/tidbits I can think off of the top of my head rn, bc he's my one and truly baby 💜

I don't have an exact date I created him (or beta version of him lol) but it was sometime in 2015 iirc! I haven't started to really post/draw him (especially here) since 2018

Before he was Chris/Christian he was just, a random dude lol w no backstory or anything really, other than "slutty punk"

I first made him in sr4 and I honestly lost that original file (the first version of him and newer/current version too) bc my 360 just doesn't wanna play sr4 for some reason no matter how much I try lol

I think I developed him around 2016/17 and I gave him the name Christian. I actually have reasons for the name bc I actually loved that name for a guy so much plus it's a funny irony to him bc he's agnostic. An agnostic Christian.

His birthday (not the creation date) is sr1's release/anniversary date! August 29th (1982) the reason for this is bc it was a place holder, but I got lazy to change it after but I think it's really nice :-)

He's originally from the Row and grew up there, he literally knows the area so well as he loved to get out of the house and just walk around, he'd usually come home around midnight or he'd stay w his at the time boyfriend Lee (when they were teens)

Chris never met Saints members previously in the Row (he could possibly cross paths, but he was pretty much to himself back then)

Before the Saint he was just in a small gang w his friends, gang didn't last long as one friend died, one left for the Canales and another left to go to Chicago

Chris was originally gonna go w that friend to Chicago too, but he decided to stay in Stilwater in the end. A few years later he gets pulled into the Saints (plus he's technically a run away before all this)

I think by the time he's in the Saints he's 24 actually w the correct math lmao but I originally had him like 19/20 before

Chris is always loyal to the depths of hell for the Saints, and he's always true to his word that he'd die for them or take a bullet for a Saint (which has happened lol) he was even extremely loyal to Julius once upon a time

Chris had a one sided love/crush of Lin during the Rollerz arc 🥴 ofc he never admitted his feelings (he rarely was much for convos) so Lin's death hurt a lot, especially since he really loved her as a friend and a Saint.

Carlos and Aisha's death hit hard too. Leaving him w loads of survivors guilt from most of these deaths and just guilt in general bc he's the boss, he's the leader.

Back to Carlos tho, they were close, as a big bro lil bro type deal, so he was a bit more protective and had this extra responsibility for him. So when Carlos gets killed bc of his actions that really hit him the hardest, the point where he felt numb but w raw anger and revenge after. Bringing up Lin and Carlos is very dangerous to do and Saints learned not to bring up their names in front of him.

Aisha was close to him as well, she, Johnny and him were the Rows trio of best friends back in the day. Aisha was also so sweet to him while he struggled to adjust back to 2011 Stilwater,he stayed at their place for a short while (before getting the gang up and running again) just to readjust and get settled/back on track w shit. He still has a neckless she gave him for his birthday/him returning again, it's locked away w his special items/treasures.

Alright besides death, he has one and only car since sr1 which is his bootlegger. Black paint w the white stripe down the middle, all purple inside. His true baby, even if he's not a car person lol hotwired a random car he saw parked in the Row and it's been his ever since

He loves cooking and an absolutely great cook! If he wasn't in gangs he'd probably opened a restaurant or something lmao sometimes he cooks for Johnny and him but most times he's lazy to cook so he orders in lol

The places Chris says at the most at is Purgatory, the penthouse in sr2 and penthouse in sr3

He has 4 dogs and 2 cats lmao but honestly the dogs are his, the cats are mainly Johnny's. Dogs: Queenie (bull terrier), Prince (pit bull), Goober (German shepherd) and Gumby (greyhound); Cats: Machete (black/white) and Stanley the meatball (Siamese)

Chris and Johnny get married post sr3 in this timeline/universe! :)

Chris also has two (adopted) daughters also a younger brother. He also has both parents in his life, relationships were rough over the years but he tries his best to connect w them, especially his mom (he loves both of them)

#text #long ass semi lore post lol #christian alvarez #otp: disaster bisexuals #kinda lol #here for anyone whos interested in my bosses sjfjdnsnsh #god i swear theres so much more lore and info but this is already so long! lol maybe ill come back for other stuff or ill answer things

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noro-noro-noro · 4 months

Text

nightmare that I'd had before

started off a bit different - big family reunion in a hotel, I was gonna stt with a few otherpeolle after everyone else took off but I was forced to share a room with a bunch of kids & I dodnt want to I wanted to sleep! my sister w there. i think the dream hd aged is back to 17 & 15. the hotel was medium fancy only, & was right next to some old timey craft center.

I knew there was a secret behind something ontthe town - there used to be another shop you could see in windows and reflections - the silver lining it was called. i wanted to find out why it was closed, so I bought this pretty girl a drink and her boyfriend laughed & asked me to get him something he dropped under the bar, and there was a dark and poorly illuminated hallway with tile floors back there with just the one bartender puttering about, & he ame up to me & was like "what are you doing?* & I was like "hey did rex drop his wallet down here?" & bartender produced it and told me I wasnt allowed to be back there. and they started to tell me what they knew, frowning when thry realized something didn't add up. the bartender started answering in a very stilted voice & a little girl said "look at the lights behind him! the dog - "

and then all hell broke loose. the led sign behind him that had today's specials filled up with white points of light & then the bartender's skin exploded off & I grabbed my sister & started to run. the boyfriend grabbed my hand too to try & usher us to safety. all the doors were somehow closed. the ground floor windows wouldn't open either. the ???? from behind us kept calling out in human voice and other screaming and panicking hotel guests would get shredded to ribbons. the boyfriend got impaled next to me. i thanked god my dad was already out of the building, but then I ehed the screams behind us get louder & then abruptly stop. my sister and i darted in different directions - I think she ran into our originalal family suite (huge) & I ran down the hall until I ended up on the other side of the gap down to the main entrance. there were people here. one of them shushed me and pulled me into a room and locked thebdoor. I didn't have my phone anymore & even if I did i wasn't sure how to contact my sister. the people in this room were skinny white sorority girls with dyed brown hair who were freaking out. one girl (kind of chubby, not wearing makeup, seemed like somebody's sister who didn't fit in) saw that one of the windows had been cracked a bit before the big freeze & moved furniture out of the way & tried incredibly hard to squeeze through - I don't know what happened. her skin was ripped off her body and her organs all unspooled and all that was left was just her hair in a ponytail dropping out the window and landing on the ground.

the girls screamed louder. i heard heavy footfalls outsode & realized I had to try to go too .better to be eviscerated upon unknown surface than face that human dog. thing. I poked my head out the window - it was fine. there was an angled beam supporting the weird and kind of brutalist shape of this hotel that I thought I could get to, so I squeezed all the way out and grabbed it. no evisceration. maybe because I went headfirst?

in the hotel I heard the snarl of that thing and slid down the rest of the beam and tried to run away, but there was no stamina. there were other escapees - huge crowds of them actually. it was raining and unseasonably warm for Chicago(?). the hotel has a smller ground floor and the rooms overhang and were supported by those beams except for the south side which had wheelchair accessible ramps up to the second floor with sunflowers graffitied on them. despite the overhang everyone was soaking wet. it wasn't safe to stay here especially after dark but all my possessions were inside - no money no id no phone no anything. and no sister. i thought about going back inside to find her, but I was too scared.

the girlfriend from before came up to me and asked if I'd seen her boyfriend rex. I told her he was impaled nezt to me and died but he probably saved my life. she wanted to find his body and started wandering up the wheelchair ramps, but I remembered from past dreams the dog would make her another vessel of the ??? from behind this dimension and she would be able to freely leave the hotel prison and all hell would break loose. but I couldn't just tell her that - knowledge would open the pathway the same way the dog would with its finger claws(?) with its teeth?? something. i gave up and told her I really thought it was too dangerous to go back in but she said without him her life had no meaning, but it was in the sunflower area of the 3rd floor. at least I'd have time to put some distance between me & her - & I hadn't lied to her. maybe if I ditched these clothes she'd lose my scent and I'd live and be able to go home.

then I woke up. i need to pack

#dreams

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wqbytop150 · 6 months

Text

WQBY

Top100 for the week ending October 29, 2023

Summertime Friends---The Chainsmokers -1/ 6weeks

Hangin' On---A R I Z O N A -2/9weeks ''peak1'' *4weeks @#1*

See You Again ---Vicetone, Anna Clendening -3/5weeks

Strangers---Kenya Grace -12/2weeks

Living In A Haze---Milky Chance -4/17weeks ''peak2''

Sorry Now---A R I Z O N A -8/3weeks

Stress You---Lucas Estrada, SUPER Hi -11/3weeks

Other Boys----Marshmello, Dove Cameron -5/ 6weeks

I'll Be There---Robin Schulz, Rita Ora, Tiago PZK -29/2weeks

One Last Dance---Imanbek, Ali Gatie -10/5weeks

Spend the Night---BJ The Chicago Kid, Coco Jones -7/;6weeks

Boyfriend---Usher -31/9weeks

Jungle----Alok, The Chainsmokers, Mae Stephens -6/6weeks

Wanna Dance---Alie Farber, James Carter, VBBARGEN -15/4weeks

At Your Worst---Calum Scott -14/9weeks ''peak5''

Tied to You---Elderbrook -13/6weeks

Good Morning---Timmy Trumpet, Alie Farber, YOU -23/3weeks

More Baby---Chris Lake, Aluna -9/6weeks

Go Off----Mike Candys -18/5weeks

Fever----Lewis Thompson, PUNCTUAL, Hight -22/3weeks

Following the Sun---SUPER Hi, NEEKA -19/13weeks

One With the Wolves---Robin Schulz -16/9weeks ''peak7''

About the Weekend---Goldfish, Sakhile Moleshe -26/4weeks

Lost & Found---Gorgon City, DRAMA -20/14WEEKS ''peak8''

Drums---James Hype, Kom Petras -72/3weeks

Dark Skies----A R I Z O N A -38/3weeks

AEIOU---PNAU, Empire of the Sun -117/2weeks

Blur---KREAM, Marlo Rex -27/3weeks

From this Day On--Andrew Rayel, JES -25/18weeks ''peak1x2''

Light On---Markus Schutz, Sarah de Warren -21/14weeks ''peak10x2''

Diamond Therapy---Diplo, Walker & Royce, Channel Tres -30/4weeks

Guaranteed---Black Eyed Peas, J. Rey Soul -17/4weeks

Strangely Sentimental---Anabel Englund -24/20weeks

One More Memory---Andrew Rayel -34/3weeks

Die For A Night---A R I Z O N A -28/23weeks ''peak1''

De Selby---Hozier -32/13weeks

A Lot Like Heaven --Gorgon City, Julia Church -37/3weeks

What We Know---Lucas & Steve, Conor Byren -44/3weeks

Forever Gold-----Siskin -50/3weeks

Subterranean---Miss Monique, AVIRA, LUNA -45/3weeks

Location---Cheat Codes, A7S -48/3weeks

Your So High (10 Years On)---Eli & Fur -63/3weeks

The Feeling---Lost Frequencies -43/3weeks

The Little Mushroom that Got Away---Sultan + Shepard, Lane8 -59/3weeks

eMtunzini---Muzi -33/11weeks

Elevator Eyes---Tove Lo -36/9weeks

If Summer Was A Sound---Goldfish, Malou -49/3weeks

Both----Tiesto, 21 Savage, BIA -52/3weeks

If Only I --- Loud Luxury, Two Friends, Bebe Rexha -42/13weeks

Don't Go Insane---DPR IAN -92/3weeks

Motive---Armin Van Buuren -35/15weeks

Me and my Guitar---Jax Jones, Fireboy DML -54/7weeks

A Lesson In Chemistry---Anabel Englund -55/3weeks

Dressed for a Funeral---Groupthink, Sunday Scaries -40/23weeks

Moonlight---Laidback Luke, GATTUSO f/Antrex -41/11weeks

Body Count---Jason Derulo -47/9weeks

Strangers On a Train---SUPER Hi -53/9weeks

Sing With Me----Goldfish, Keanan Eksteen -58/3weeks

You're Hired----NEIKED f/Ayra Starr -69/3weeks

California Child---Goldfish, The Palms, Hi-Def -56/3week

Moon---Locklead -64/8weeks

The Beautiful Letdown---Switchfoot, Jonas Brothers -96/8weeks

We Could Be Love---Hayden James, AR/CO -94/8weeks

In My Zone----S.O. GIDI -101/7weeks

Feel It (Club Edit)-----Jazzy -68/3weeks

Chamallow---Polo & Pan -77/3weeks

We Should Get Married---Dan & Shay -65/8weeks

On My Love---Zara Larsson, David Guetta -39/5weeks

That's Alright---Goldfish, Julia Church -51/3weeks

All Night---Charlie Houston -60/5weeks

Kriss Kross---W&W, Da Tweekaz -61/3weeks

Over Now---7 Lions, Above & Beyond, Opposite the Other -67/3weeks

Alive---Roosevelt -62/5weeks

She's On My Mind---Romy -66/5weeks

Let Me Go---Jigitz -70/5weeks

On My Way----SIDEPIECE, Faquzia -71/3weeks

19---Stephen Dawes -73/16weeks

Waiting For U---Laidback Luke, Palphi, *(Jake Silva remix) -74/8weeks

Down Like That---Bryson tiller -75/7weeks

React----Switch disco, Ella Henderson, Robert Miles -76/9weeks

Desire---Nicky Romero, TELYKAST, Linney -79/3weeks

When We Touch--Ludo Lacoste, Santelli, Twinflame, Rozegarden -80/3weeks

Everything Is Changing---Goldfish, Julia Church -81/2weeks

Bigger than the Song---Brittney Spencer -82/4weeks

Fight My Demons---Yung Bae, Barney Bones Leven Kali -83/3weeks

Where You Are---John Summit, Hayla -57/

Nevada---Vicetone, Cozi Zuchisdorf -84/3weeks

Dancing at the Disco---J. Worra, Cherry Tooth -85/3weeks

Die Young---Venbee, Rudimental -86/16weeks

All In A Dream--LP Giobbi, DJ Tennis, Joseph Ashworth -87/3weeks

Black Dress - - O70 Shake -88/4weeks

Save My Love---Destiny Rogers -89/3weeks

Dress Code----Mau P -90/3weeks

I Love Hollywood---Slayyter -91/3weeks

Deep Inside Of Me---Bob Sinclar, A-Trak, Mele -95/2weeks

Smiley Water---Mike. 97/7weeks

Quarter Life Crisis---Baby Queen -100/7weeks

Looking For Love---Disclosure -78/3weeks

Bitter---Freya Riding -93/8weeks

Take Me Back---Chri$tian Gate$ -98/12weeks

#alwayshappymusic

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chrancecriber · 10 months

Text

Antenne Vorarlberg Chillout Lounge (July 02, 2023)

23:57 Nora En Pure - Dry Sobbing 23:50 Edx - Conundrum 23:45 Sine - Smooth Relaxation 23:42 Nora Van Elken - Mount Fuji 23:39 Loud Luxury And Frank Walker Feat. Stephen Puth - Like Gold 23:34 Jazzy Pecada - Slow Down 23:31 Italobrothers - Stay 23:26 Thomas Lemmer & Andreas Bach - Deep Ocean 23:22 Moby - Porcelain (Arty Remix) 23:20 Deepend & Graham Candy - Belong (Deepend Edit) 23:17 Amely & Lvndscape - Losing My Mind 23:13 Schiller & Schwarz - Avalanche 23:10 Filatov & Karas - Au Au 23:06 Massive Attack - Protection 23:01 Joachim Pastor Feat. Nathan Nicholson - Saint Louis 22:57 Ck West & Sassi K - C Song 22:53 Niles Cooper - Lamplight Rains 22:50 Younotus Feat. Chris Gelbuda - When I Think About You 22:47 Lost Frequencies Feat. Love Harder - Beat Of My Heart 22:44 Sal De Sol - Another Chance (Single Mix) 22:37 Worakls - By The Brook 22:35 R3hab, Timmy Trumpet, W&w - Distant Memory 22:27 A Forest Mighty Black - Rebirth 22:21 Beyhude - Akasha 22:16 Schiller - White Nights (Don't Let Me Go) 22:11 Billy Sizemore - Together 22:07 Ck West - Aldebaran 2021 22:03 Derrick - Love Away 21:57 Armen Miran - Nani Jan 21:54 Luca Schreiner Feat. Johnny Chicago - Its All Gonna Be Good (Junge Junge Edit) 21:50 Aguaflames - Moiman 21:48 Famba Feat. Brando & Mkla - Games We Play 21:43 Three Drives On A Vinyl - Greece 2000 (Sebastian Davidson & Melosense Remix) 21:39 Kungs Feat. R I T U A L - You Remain 21:36 Robin Schulz & Alle Farben & Israel Kamakawiwo'ole - Somewhere Over The Rainbow / What A Wonderful World 21:32 Daniel Steidtmann - Pigeon Lake 21:28 Alejandro De Pinedo - Raindrops 21:25 Consoul Trainin Feat. Steven Aderinto & Duoviolins - Obsession 21:22 Robin Schulz Feat. Alida - In Your Eyes 21:18 Adele - Skyfall 21:14 Schiller - Summer In Berlin 21:06 Pet Shop Boys - Love Etc. (Gui Boratto Mix) 21:04 Nora Van Elken - Honshu 21:01 Tiësto & Karol G - Don't Be Shy 20:58 Saint Privat - Somebody To Love (Uko Remix) 20:53 Monolink - Harlem River 20:50 Jeremy Loops - Til I Found You 20:46 Chris Coco - Before Sunset (Original Mix) 20:42 Dvine - Ever After 20:38 Bolier & Leandro Da Silva - Floripa (Extended) 20:34 Moby - Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad? 20:31 Gesaffelstein & The Weeknd - Lost In The Fire 20:24 Soul Button - Circadian Rhythm (Hraach Remix) 20:17 Milan Euringer And Tube & Berger - Lovebreak 20:14 Chicane Feat. Bryan Adams - Don't Give Up 20:08 Danijel Kostic - Vinternatt (Club Mix) 20:06 Tiësto - The Motto 20:01 Eelke Kleijn - Woodstock 19:56 Alex Christensen & The Berlin Orchestra - Infinity 19:48 True & Berger - Imprint Of Pleasure 19:45 Alex Breitling - Lilie 19:42 Alle Farben Feat. Janieck - Little Hollywood 19:37 Lamb - Wonder 19:31 Tinlicker Feat. Roos Jonker - Come Back Home 19:24 Tiana, Anton Ishutin - Deeply In My Soul (Original Mix) 19:21 Lost Frequencies, Zonderling & Kelvin Jones - Love To Go 19:19 Vamero & Lizot - Bleeding Love 19:15 Chubbanak Club - Candysnow 19:12 L'imperatrice - Peur Des Filles (Montmartre Remix) 19:09 Tokkoi - 45 Minutes (Original Mix) 19:02 Hraach Feat. Iveta Mukuchyan - Sarer Jan 18:58 Fritz Kalkbrenner - Kings & Queens 18:53 Massive Attack - Sly 18:49 Robin Schulz & David Guetta - On Repeat 18:45 Avira & Kiko Franco Feat. Nathan Nicholson) - Ocean 18:42 Faithless - Insomnia 18:39 Edx - Ecletric (Mixed) 18:33 Shakedown - At Night (Afterlife Remix) 18:29 Flamingo Star - Lost In Music 18:25 Eli & Fur - Come Back Around 18:22 Dj Antoine & Deep Vice - When You Want Some Love (Dj Antoine Vs Mad Mark 2k21 Mix) 18:18 The Presets - Promises (Nils Frahm Version) 18:15 Nore En Pure - In Your Eyes 18:10 James Bright - Siempre 18:04 Colyn - Unstable Gravity Alert 18:00 Nora En Pure - Life On Hold 17:56 Emma Carn, Magic Wand - Sunset 17:53 Kygo With Avicii & Sandro Cavazza - Forever Yours (Tribute) 17:48 Arden - Open 17:45 Dragonette, Mike Mago - Outlines (Original Mix) 17:42 Mousse T. - Boyfriend (Alle Farben Remix) 17:36 Rodg - Heights 17:32 Kygo Feat. One Republic - Stranger Things 17:29 Pirra Feat. Lindstrøm & Prins Thomas Remix - Limousine Lies 17:25 Paul Oakenfold, Bolier, Luis Fonsi - The World Can Wait (Bolier Remix) 17:20 Aisen - Another Day 17:16 Robin Schulz - Moonlit Sky (With The Void Pacific Choir) 17:12 In Lonely Majesty - Sing In The Dark - Alle Farben Remix 17:09 Mike Candys & Jack Holiday - The Riddle Anthem Rework 17:02 Colyn - Lightyears 17:00 Alan Walker - Faded 16:54 Beyhude - Rüzgar 16:50 Glockenbach Ft. Clockclock - Brooklyn 16:45 Depeche Mode - Home 16:41 Bronson Feat. Lau.ra - Heart Attack 16:36 Mr.da-nos - San Francisco 2k20 16:32 Feder Feat. Emmi - Blind 16:28 Eelke Kleijn - Midnight Affair (Samaha Slow Edit) 16:25 Tonenation - Hijo De La Luna 16:21 Coldplay - Everglow 16:17 Nora En Pure - Tantrum 16:13 Ganga - Living On The Moon 16:09 P. Lion - Happy Children (Special Remastered ) 16:06 Hbz, Anna Grey & Agent Zed - Aloha Hey 16:01 Schiller Feat. Sarah Brightman - The Smile 15:53 Atb - No Fate 15:50 Kidsø - Finja 15:46 Hakan Lidbo Feat. Emma - What Is Love 15:39 Avira & Diana Miro - The Worship (Mark Knight Extended) 15:36 Alina Baraz & Galimatias - Fantasy (Felix Jaehn Remix) 15:32 Loungertrip - Brighter Day 15:28 Hein Klein & Cheyenne - Every Breath You Take 15:23 Worakls - Caprice 15:18 Naomi - Anybody Here? 15:16 Alok & James Arthur - Work With My Love 15:13 Enigma - Return To Innocence 15:10 Nora En Pure - Wetlands 15:08 Lizot - Daddy Cool 15:00 Burudu - Sun Theory (Original Mix) 14:52 Armen Miran Feat. Jivan Gasp - Lost Memories 14:47 Schiller - Der Goldene Engel 14:42 Marc Puig - To Start Anew 14:39 George Geccoo Feat. Maik Pinto - Dolce Vita 14:37 Parov Stelar - Fire 14:34 Gabriel & Castellon - Es Vedra (Touch & Go Radio Mix) 14:27 Rodriguez Jr. Feat. Liset Alea - What Is Real 14:24 Daniel Portman - Vulnerable 14:20 Drenchill Ft. Indiiana - Hey Hey 14:16 Enui - Adieu (Arielle Lb Remix) 14:10 Jonson - S.c.e.n.e. T.w.o. 14:06 Ac Venture - Rain In Spain (Roberto Sol Remix) 14:03 Klangperlenspiel - Fraction Of Your Love 13:59 Deeperise Feat. Jabbar - One By One 13:56 Edx & Amba Shepherd - Off The Grid 13:53 Junge, Junge Feat. Jamie Hartma - Wicked Hearts 13:48 Velvet Lounge Project - Dimelo Tu (Mix And Magix Remix) 13:46 The Holy Santa Barbara Feat. Madugo - The Sailor Song 13:41 Golden Tone Radio - Glück 13:36 Hendrik T. - Espiral 13:33 Shaun Frank & Takis Feat. Shells - Don't Say I Love You 13:28 Dreamerproject - Horizons (Glenn Main Remix) 13:24 Sylvering - The Sun Always Shines On Tv 13:21 Tiscore - Fire To Smoke 13:15 Hacienda - Sci-fi Saloon 13:12 Sneaker Pimps - 6 Underground 13:08 Fritz Kalkbrenner - Good Things 13:04 Thievery Corporation - Bario Alto 13:00 Loud Luxury - Cold Feet 12:57 Gamper & Dadoni - Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! 12:51 Cell - Under Your Mind (Live Version) 12:48 Brando - Don't Call Me (Galantis Remix) 12:44 Klangperlenspiel & Puzzls - Kyoto (Wish You'd Move On) 12:40 Troels Hammer Feat. Clara Valente - Ai Meu Bem 12:35 Lstn - Times Of Sorrow 12:32 Viva La Panda, Finding Molly - Chances 12:26 Hippiehaus - Galaxy 12:22 The Ocean Piano - Piano Mi Camino (Blue Wave Mix) 12:18 Eelke Kleijn - Mojo's Tale 12:13 Robert Manos - Silver 12:11 Vize & Leony - Dolly Song (Devil's Cup) 12:06 Pang! - Lion (Original Mix) 12:03 Zoe - C'est La Vie 11:59 Clément Leroux - Memories 11:56 R Plus - Summer Dress 11:53 Sono - Keep Control (Artbat Remix Edit) 11:50 Tomas Skyldeberg - Chillin With You 11:45 Lizot Feat. Jason Anousheh - Einfach Nur Weg (Blondee & Roberto Mozza Remix) 11:42 Munich Monstrs - Shine 11:39 Zaz - Demain C'est Toi 11:35 Atb - We Belong 11:32 Kamrad - I Believe 11:26 Alexander Remus Feat. Liza Flume - Sheets 11:22 Neptune & Moonnight - I Need A New Love (Original Mix) 11:20 Bolier & Arman Cekin - Fade Away (Feat. Rhi'n'b) 11:15 In Credo - Siesta Del Sol 11:11 Gestört Aber Geil & Anna Grey - Thank You 11:09 Meduza Feat. Goodboys - Piece Of Your Heart 11:04 Ohm G & Bruno - One 10:59 Tebra - Istok 10:53 Christopher Von Deylen - Euphoria 10:47 Aim - Cold Water Music 10:45 Chaël Feat Kaii - Don't Speak 10:40 Blank & Jones Feat. Zoe Durrant - One Evening (Lofi Selection) 10:37 Armin Van Buuren & Garibay Feat. Olaf Blackwood - I Need You 10:33 Duboss - Losing My Religion 10:29 Ilo - Soleil D'hiver 10:26 Lunax & Zana - Gone Tomorrow 10:20 Nora En Pure - Cognitive Fadings (Club Mix) 10:17 Hailee Steinfeld - Capital Letters 10:11 Good Guy Mikesh Feat. Filburt - Place Of Love (Mp Edit) 10:08 Tinlicker Feat. Nathan Nicholson - Be Here And Now 10:04 Kadebostany - Save Me 10:01 Kamrad - Feel Alive 09:59 Rita Ora - You Only Love Me 09:50 Sina Vodjani - Vision Of Mahakala 09:45 Schiller Feat. Jael - Tired (Live) 09:40 Schiller & Tricia Mcteague - Guardian Angel 09:36 Maestro & Cabal - Rocklands Beach 09:27 Dino Lenny Feat. Artbat - Sand In Your Shoes 09:23 Avec - Under Water (Club Edit) 09:14 Moby - Too Much Change 09:10 Undressd - Forever Young 09:07 Lost Frequencies Feat. Flynn - Recognise 09:04 Armin Van Buuren Feat. Rbvln - Weight Of The World (Feat. Rbvln) 08:59 Eelke Kleijn Feat. Diana Miro - You (Frankey & Sandrino Remix) 08:55 Stefano Saletti & Piccola Banda Ikona - Tagama 08:52 Pulsedriver & Tiscore Feat. Anna Grey - We Are 08:50 Carstn & Ten Tonne Skeleton - Safety Dance 08:43 Chris Zippel Feat. Tusnelda - Blade 08:40 Bernward Koch - Lonely Dream (Solo Piano) 08:37 Schiller - Midnight In Shiraz 08:33 Mark Brown - The Journey Continues (Acoustic Version) 08:29 Lucy Neville - Shameless 08:23 Deep-dive-corp. - Lucsus 08:20 Nightcall X Henri Purnell Feat. Eke - When The Morning Breaks 08:17 Lika Morgan - Ding Dong 08:15 Sam Feldt - Be My Lover 08:11 Audien - Blue 08:03 Martin Roth - An Analog Guy In A Digital World 08:00 Bossasonic - Wicked Game 07:56 Sofi Tukker & John Summit - Sun Came Up (Radio) 07:52 Nihoni - After Sun 07:49 Robin Schulz & Marc Scibilia - Unforgettable 07:46 Dj Antoine Feat. Ablai - My Corazon (Dj Antoine Vs Mad Mark 2k21 Mix) 07:40 Armen Miran & Hraach - Gravitation 07:34 Boozoo Bajou - Caminoux 07:32 Valerie Dore - The Night (Zyx Edit Remastered 2021) 07:29 Lost Frequencies Feat. Sandro Cavazza - Beautiful Life 07:26 Blank & Jones Feat. Mick Roach - Magnolia 07:21 Kid Massive, Yuji Ono, Dtale - Pray (Wolf Krew Remix) 07:17 Lenny Ibizarre - Pretty As You Feel 07:14 Hugel - Can't Love Myself (Feat. Mishaal& Lpw) 07:09 Lyke - Stay With Me 07:02 Nikolay Mikryukov - If It Were Easier (Original Mix) 06:57 Exstra - Comet (Extended Mix) 06:53 Moby - My Only Love 06:48 Maestro & Cabal - Clifton Bay 06:45 Ofenbach & Ella Henderson - Hurricane 06:42 Blank & Jones - Coastline 06:38 Rudimental Feat. Ed Sheeran - Lay It All On Me 06:36 Yves V X Bashkar - Halfway (Feat. Twan Ray) 06:30 A.r. Rahman - Mumbai Theme Tune 06:27 Kai Schwarz, Cayus & Yass - My Love Is Your Love 06:23 Moli - Cloud No9 (Montmartre Remix) 06:19 Ganga - Time Spent 06:15 Above & Beyond - Is It Love? (1001) (Original Mix) 06:10 Faithless Feat. Nathan Ball & Caleb Femi - I Need Someone 06:04 Fous De La Mer - Ocean 22°e 06:01 Vize & Tom Gregory - Never Let Me Down 05:59 Nora Van Elken - Okinawa 05:56 Cookin' On 3 Burners, Henri Purnell & Revelries - Force Of Nature 05:48 Monolink - Don't Hold Back 05:45 Sans Souci - Take My Breath Away (Original Mix) 05:40 Schiller - Ultramarin 05:38 Christopher Von Deylen - Arco Iris 05:35 Consoul Trainin - Take Me To Infinity 05:28 Julian Wassermann - People 05:24 Shapov & Avian Grays Feat. Kifi - Light Up The World 05:21 Felix Jaehn Feat. Lost Frequencies & Linying - Eagle Eyes 05:18 Kungs Feat. Jhart - Dopamine 05:12 Bay Area - Dolphin Rider (Pianodreamsession) 05:08 Lenny Bizarre - El Viejo Pescador 05:04 Klangkarussell And Givven - Follow 05:00 Above & Beyond Feat. Zoe Johnston - We're All We Need 04:56 The Chainsmokers Feat. Kelsea Ballerini - This Feeling 04:54 Lost Frequencies & Elley Duhé - Back To You 04:48 Monolink - Otherside (Club Mix) 04:44 Blank & Jones - Breezin' 04:41 Kryder & Natalie Shay - Rapture 04:36 James Bright - Sarabande 04:33 Stepha Schweiger - When I Was A Bird 04:26 Twocolors - Together 04:23 Michael Gray & Shelly Poole - Borderline (Lee Muddy Baker Acoustic Mix) 04:15 Armin Van Buuren & Avira Feat. Sam Martin - Mask 04:11 Kyla La Grange - Cut Your Teeth 04:06 Hannah Ild - Right Beside You 04:04 Twisted Harmonies Feat. Mougleta - You & Me 03:59 Jean-michel Jarre - Equinoxe, Pt. 5 03:57 Nancy Sinatra - Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down) 03:53 Sound Nomaden - The Morning After 03:50 Shouse - Won't Forget You 03:45 Alejandro De Pinedo - Cancer 03:39 Nora En Pure - Trailblazer (Club Mix) 03:32 Nora En Pure - Birthright (Club Mix) 03:29 Nora En Pure & Lika Morgan - In The Air Tonight (Sons Of Maria Remix) 03:19 Christopher Von Deylen - Heaven Can Wait 03:15 The Alan Parsons Project - Lucifer 03:07 Miyagi, Sascha Braemer, Dan Caster, Jan Blomqvist - Woodpeckers Love Affair 03:04 Brendon Moeller - Emerging 02:59 Sonic Adventure Project - Waters In Motion 02:51 Garlington - Falling To Pieces (Extended Mix) 02:45 Sirius & Nyla - Infinity (Remastered Remix) 02:40 Mahoroba - Soft Breeze (On Air Mix) 02:33 Dale Anderson Feat. Anil Chawla - Pimento Grove 02:30 Rene Rodrigezz & Tristan Henry - Let Me Go 02:26 Armin Van Buuren, Sharon Den Adel - In And Out Of Love (Lost Frequencies Remix) 02:23 Raffa Fi - Ritmo 02:17 Aaron Mcclelland, Marianne - Lets Get Physical (Touch & Go Laidback Dub) 02:13 Jean-michel Jarre - Oxygene, Pt. 4 02:06 Banderas - This Is Your Life (Easy Life Mix) 01:59 Rodriguez Jr. - 2 Miles Away 01:54 Blank & Jones - Sunshines Better (Feat. Mick Roach) 01:46 Super Flu - Mygut (Solomun Remix) 01:41 Ingo Herrmann - Sundown 01:37 Alle Farben & Fools Garden - Lemon Tree 01:34 Winona Oak & Robin Schulz - Oxygen 01:31 Peter Ries - Hold Me (The Force Radio Mix) 01:27 Jako Diaz & Margret - Mirror 01:24 Vievie - Sea Roses 01:19 Bob Marley - Is This Love (Montmartre Remix) 01:08 Monkey Safari - Hi Life (Cheeky Bold Cover) 01:02 High Heels Breaker Feat. Sarah Palin - Come Easy (David August Remix) 00:59 Pretty Pink Feat. Mark V - Don't Dance 00:55 Topic Feat. Nico Santos - Home (Alle Farben Remix) 00:49 Sherrie Lea - No Ordinary Love (Arnold T Chill Mix) 00:46 Robin Schulz - Never Know Me (Radio Mix) 00:39 Nora En Pure - Thermal (Extended Mix) 00:36 Eelke Kleijn - Transmission (Joris Voorn Remix) 00:33 Edx Feat. Jess Ball - Take Me Home 00:25 Hraach - After Dark 00:19 Rene, Alex Hook - Right Now (Matvey Emerson Remix) 00:15 Klangkarussel & Poppy Baskcomb - This Love 00:12 Kush Kush & Sickmellow Feat. Kazhi - Blacklight 00:06 Melih Aydogan - Between 00:01 Blank & Jones - High Fly

#Antenne Vorarlberg Chillout Lounge #Chillout #Lounge #Downtempo #Ambient #Trance #Deep House #2023 #July 2023

0 notes

breakersmansh · 11 months

Text

June 17, 2023 / 17 Ògmhios 2566 EB

Hey dude and everyone, how was your day? Happy holiday coming up this weekend. Someone at the beach says there’s a holiday this weekend. Enjoy :) 🫂🙂👋 oh, and then Juneteenth is Monday? I I didn’t know what Juneteenth was until college. Texas thing that became a national holiday—wild.

Weather in Chicago is .

My dad doesn’t talk to me very much ever since an awkward Christmas in 2020. There were a couple of Jews at BYU. Inhale, exhale. He’s sick though and I need to remember to call his name into the Boston Mass temple. She’s the temple who makes the most sense to me right now. Southern New England is a place very home to me. Among people, I think a lot about this guy named Noah Steinman. Noah Boah. Just this guy from middle school. Him and his friend MegN Meg in Connecticut. Ice ive I’ve mostly been to East Hartford and to Old Saybrool k Saybrook way in the southeastern corner, to go to Wells Fargo. Sometimes I cry out, "Noah!" "Trusty!" Richard Bushman says in Rough Stone Rolling that Noah is the archangel Gabriel or somethhi b something — he has this one paragraph where he lists out seven archangels. Is this Columbia tomfoolery, or sonethi even something even more dark and disturbing within Utah history? What would my life have been like if I had gone to Bowdoin? One of my childhood best friends, Ethan, went to—he says I don’t remember the name of his college. Our most recent convo was great. Over a year ago but great. He was posting an Instagram story of himself sitting in traffic and I told myself a joke that he was filming porn lol. Sitting in traffic and bragging about how he kicked his boyfriend out. Lol it was he was hot. Sitting in traffic on the way to a ski resort. Hard to explain why I would call that porn. I just — I mentioned that Idaho has a ski basin called Bogus Basin, and he expressed annoyance. I used to say this phrase while living in Idaho — "and the Catholics in North Idaho are so annoyed that [we] changed the time zone to an entirely separate time zone to distinguish ourselves from the rest of the state." Pulled from F. Ross Peterson’s history of Idaho. He wrote a cool book called Christmas in Montpelier. Montpelier was about an hour east of where I lived in southern Idaho. Small town Idaho. Hm. I re — I’ve told enough stories. My neighbor Molly and her husband were very great neighbors. Me, them, and a woman from my high school named Jill, celebrated a Jewish holiday called Tubishevat together in 2021. The New Year for Trees.

I need to think about where whether that phrase is anti-Catholic. A few sentences up, about changing the time zone. Cause North Idaho is in PacificTime and the rest of Idaho is in Mountain Time. She was a fun phrase to say; that phase was entirely before I met Reap though. There are Facebook groups called "Moving to North Idaho" and such. I was sad that I lived in Southern Idaho, and one of my friends from BYU made sure to police me. She hasd had a rough experience at BYU. Maybe going on a date w/ me was one of the more uplifting parts. I almost made him to North Idaho.

I had a pretty peaceful Saturday. Wandered around the city a bunch. Practiced some DVT DBT skills. Found a Modelo beer can, Kurt’s fav beer brand five years ago, by the beach. Picked her up to either recycle her or keep her as a memento. With the way I’m using him/her/they/them instead of it, when possible, makes me think about how most words in French are gendered. I was supposed to do this speech therapy gender-affirming clinic, although he seems like I’m somewhat figuring her out on my own.

Said hello to the ladies a lot today, and they were really fun to talk to. Other hangers Gen genders as well.

My staffer at the pizza shop was sad.

I thought of writing a Wikipedia article about this Prep Tumblr phenomenon I keep talking about. This group from 201-

2012-2015 or so on Tumblr. I’m probably gonna invite my friends C (Chrissy) and A(Alexandria) as well. So funny. They were on Tumblr with me—I bet some of you were on Prep Tumblr too or Tumblr Tumblr. There was a woman named phdprep who both kept me willing to get out of bed, during the toughest parts of college, and also directly inspired my fashion choices when I got a job at Utah State University. I remember one night she kept prodding and prodding and liking my posts until she knew I was willing to keep trying— that’s a behavior mentioned on r/raisedbynarcissists and I think it’s true that peers motivati no and motivating and supporting each other feels different from child psychology. Right now, certain — there was also this dude drink the talk / drinkthentalk/ imactuallyagoodkid. Catholicboysintrouble needs to and maybe will get a full page to itself. It’s cool how just browsing the internet you can learn a bunch. 50starsand13bars, which inspired the first subreddit I became a mod of. If ppl ar e not interested in Prep Tumblr, there’s so much to say about Tumblr or internet culture in general. You know how Wikipedia articles have hyperlinks within them to other stuff? Other topics include porn on Tumblr, Yahoo’s CEO and her optimistic attempts to buy Tumblr, and much else that anyone else may want.

Reaper, Scurius, ifoundxaway, bythepalemoonlight, and anyone else interested are deffy welcome

For broey, if this is the last chance I get. Love you platonically. My Tumblr is named after a mansion in Rhode Island called The Breakers — breakersmansh. It’s she’s a little raunchy. My posts will be there if you want or need to take Reddit for Men to the next level. I’m here with you in solidarity.

I’m stoked to go to bed. Have a gentle Sunday or fun Sunday, whatevski. Mine will be gentle. My head hurts, in a good way.

Kurt and I had gotten into a mild argument at the dinner table—Taco Tuesday, Cameron’s favorite—about whether he should drink and drive. He won the argument, and I still remember the brand name of that beer, Modelo, to this day. We had this inside joke called Park City Gentlemen’s Club, and I passed a Gentlemen’s Club while I was wandering the city today—realized how much better our club was. Lots of better memories w/ Reap this past year too.

It is checking hecking chilly in this city. Hope tou had you had a good day. Love you, good night. I’m planning to post daily. Sometimes for Jewish holidays I might abstain, or when I’m in the hospital, jail (gosh forbid), or on a cruise ship with no internet or something. This year I learned why some people observe Passover by taking the whole 7 or 8 days off of work. It’s because he’s because Jewish life can be exhausting. Stoked for Cath Sab. 😍🥰😍🥳 Seems like ppl are gonna use biolenvd, violence, emotional pressure, and logical arguments, to keep Judaism alive one way or other after the Holocaust. G-d judges; who am I to judge?

I wore Nike and she felt great. Nike blue shorts that smell like butt, and that was refreshing. Some Elon Musk in my life, lol. Taking a break from Abercrombie Fierce for a while. Kurt worked at te the Nike store. I didn’t mention that because she’s a minor detail. There was a big outlet mall, like Wrentham or the other one that starts with a W, and many stores to choose from. Considering becoming a Nike person; Nike worked great for CrossFit. Maybe to wear Nike around too. I’m wearing a Ralph Lauren long sleeve grey tee from Wrentham that coat coat cost like $12 or $20 bucks. They have all kinds of discounts. I remember from that day, August 2022, just talking to the staffers there and searching hard for what I wanted. I bought a rugby shirt that ended up being a source of warmth and comfort during the rough Rhode Island winter—Reaper was right, winters near there are rough. So many of the concepts I tried to enact as a teenager, fashion wise are coming together now, and that’s awesome. A lot of my teenage fashion was clumsy and awkward for numerous reasons.

Good night. Happy holiday. Hope your Sundays are great. Love

Gonna read one chapter from the Book of Mormon. I think I’m on 1 Nephi 6. Or 1 Nephi 3. This read through will be very slow and painful for multiple reasons. Ppl are invited to read with me if you want. She’s ultimately just a banned book, like many books on the Index Library Prohibitorum. Banned books are kind of a librarian value, although right now I’m actually scared to even go inside public libraries. I went to public libraries a bunch during the pandemic though. University libraries are my fav, followed — are my fav. Go figure. Slainte

If I did go inside a public library, I would want to read Angels in America because I think it he would help me refine my intellectual conclusions about the epistemology of Utah psychiatry. The Hercules Disney movie would probably accomplish a similar effect. I don’t know exactly what Angels I’m A In America is about. Just—just—I know the book is vaguely thematically relevant to what Utah psychiatry is about. Not referring to the grandfather figure saying "show me you can behave!!!!!!!" which makes me laugh so hard. His commentary. You can laugh about hos his sex joke and find comic relief from Utah, or you can think about fundamentalist polygamous groups in Utah where the grandfather has sex with his granddaughter—perhaps that’s only Warren Jeffs. I’m grateful to Reap for helping me with many stuff and just also adding complexit y to my psychiatry opinions. 👋🙂🏈

Of course, Michel Foucault ‘a ‘s commentary on psychiatry: History of Sexuality: Discipline and Punish. I remember being so shocked at age 18 that no one in psychiatry had read that book. Swirls on me and good preview of my entire adulthood, lol. My entire adulthood so far at least :)

Nite ☘️ miss you, hope you had a rad day, if not hope tomorrow gets better. Available to be decked or spoken to :)

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