#we've been going EVERY YEAR since I was little little :D

[lumimis]

I wanna go on a ferris wheel I LOVE FERRIS WHEELS!!!!!! but unfortunately the big one is in the city and my little town has a teeny one :(

#I wanna go to the adelaide show again one day #but apparently they raised the ticket prices #so no fuckikf way in hell #there's this giant high up swing ride that seems cool (<- would cry) #ABYWAY SORRY!!! I GET EXCITED #we've been going EVERY YEAR since I was little little :D

[mimi-cee-genshin]

Friend-zoned? - Alhaitham x f!reader

Summary: How many Akademiya guys does it take to figure out whether or not you've friend-zoned Alhaitham? After discussing how strong he is, Kaveh, Cyno and Tighnari analyze his relationship with you. Things get interesting when you join their table.

Other info: fluff and humor :D, female reader, my extension of the conversation in Alhaitham's character demo because I loved the guys' interactions there so much

Words: 2.7k

*****

"Essentially, more time on contemplation, less time on execution," Alhaitham tells them. "Simple, isn't it?"

"... Not really," Tighnari and Cyno reply.

"Ugh, I knew I shouldn't have brought this up with you," Kaveh complains.

"I thought my answer was quite engrossing," Alhaitham says. He raises his hand. "Boss, this is good wine. I'll have the same please."

Kaveh swirls his cup. "Well, he has at least one weakness," he comments.

"Do tell," Cyno says.

"He's had the same crush for years," Kaveh tells them. "The guy's completely smitten."

"You can't be serious," says Cyno.

"Why is that so surprising?" Alhaitham says. "It makes less sense that I wouldn't be attracted to her."

"See what I mean?" says Kaveh. "You should see how he is around her. He practically treats her like a queen."

"I have a hard time believing that," Cyno says, crossing his arms.

"Stop exaggerating," Alhaitham tells Kaveh. "I just treat her the way she should be treated."

Kaveh only laughs at his answer.

"I thought you didn't like social interaction," says Cyno. "Or had any friends for that matter."

"It's not tiring to be around her," he says. "She's different."

"Of course she is," says Kaveh.

"Well this is interesting," says Tighnari. "What is she like?"

"We've known each other since we were kids. She was mature for her age. She did things like helping me resolve issues I had with others to keep the peace, making sure other kids didn't bother me while I was reading… Also, comforting me whenever I got discouraged…"

"You? Discouraged?" Kaveh scoffs.

"Yes? I'm only human you know," Alhaitham simply replies. "Anyway, you get the picture."

"That seems reasonable," says Tighnari.

"So it's one-sided?" Cyno asks. "As far as I can tell, you're still single."

"No," says Alhaitham, crossing his arms. "It's not one-sided."

"You're kidding me, right?" Kaveh says. "Are we even talking about the same person?"

Tighnari raises a brow.

"Every time she introduces him to another woman, she's a little too obvious with sharing why they'd be good for Alhaitham," Kaveh explains, "as if she's trying to sell them off to him."

"Don't be so dramatic," Alhaitham says. "She's not selling anyone."

"If that's the case, then why are you sure she likes you?" asks Cyno.

"Well for one, she comes by often to check how I'm doing."

"Perhaps she simply thinks you're incompetent at your job," Kaveh chides.

"Two," he continues, ignoring him. "She's always willing to hear about the latest book I'm reading, no matter how boring others think of it."

"Hmm…" Tighnari mumbles. "I can understand that."

"And three…" Alhaitham puts down his cup. "Whenever she reaches out for my hand, like when she wants to comfort me, she stops short of actually holding it."

"She does?" asks Kaveh.

"Interesting. So it seems that while she does display some sort of affection for you," says Tighnari, "perhaps she just didn't want you to get the wrong idea."

"So you're doubting my conclusion?"

"I'm simply saying it's difficult to judge based on the evidence you've provided. We may need to observe the two of you for ourselves."

Alhaitham sighs. This isn't going anywhere.

"Does she have any reason to not want to date you?" Cyno asks. "I wouldn't be surprised if you were overly critical of her, commenting on her every action."

"I give her nothing but compliments. She knows I think very highly of her."

"Huh," Tighnari says. "That's quite unexpected."

"I've been telling you guys," Kaveh says, "but he's really something else around her."

"Is she… actually older than you by any chance?" asks Tighnari.

"She is."

"Hmm… Well this changes things. Perhaps, she still sees you as a kid and is simply just doting on you."

Kaveh turns to Alhaitham, eagerly waiting for his reply.

Alhaitham clears his throat. "She's less than a couple of years older than me. It's not a big deal."

"Just admit that you're friend-zoned," says Kaveh. "Who'd treat their love interest like a kid?"

"I'm not so sure…" Cyno says.

Both Kaveh and Tighnari raise a brow.

"I think that Alhaitham has a clearer picture and can judge more accurately than any of us. They've known each other for long enough."

"It's just his wishful thinking on his part," says Kaveh. "Who wouldn't want to read into their crush's actions?"

"I agree to an extent," says Tighnari, "but perhaps we're missing some crucial information here. We don't know how well Alhaitham can judge a person's actions when romantic feelings are involved."

"I'm thinking quite clearly, thanks," Alhaitham says.

"This is why you aren't getting anywhere," Kaveh scolds him. "You're assuming she has feelings for you when she doesn't. You still need to win her over."

"Then what do you suggest I do?" Alhaitham crosses his arms.

"Ha. As if I'd help you. She could do way better than you anyway."

Alhaitham groans. Why is he even part of this conversation?

"Well, have you ever told her how you felt?" asks Cyno.

"Of course," replies Alhaitham. "I'm pretty obvious about it."

"For someone as reserved as you, I highly doubt that," Cyno adds.

"I wrote her a letter, eloquently expressing my love for her."

"Pfft. What?" Kaveh snorts.

Tighnari stares in disbelief. "Oh. I get it. You did that when you were children."

"I'm referring to the one I gave her yesterday."

"Pfft."

"That's… pretty obvious," Tighnari adds.

"I bet it was more of an essay than a love letter," Kaveh says with a smirk.

"Well, in that case, she either doesn't like you," says Tighnari, "or there's something that prevents her from admitting her feelings."

"Perhaps she's intimidated by your position," suggests Cyno.

"It's unlike her to care about those things," Alhaitham says. "She even treats me like a kid at times."

"So you do admit she just thinks of you as a kid," Kaveh says.

Alhaitham doesn't answer.

"Honestly, this case is closed," Kaveh continues. "There's nothing more to it."

"Hmm... Have you tried to make her jealous?" asks Cyno.

"You're still not convinced?" Kaveh is surprised at him.

"Knowing the result of that would likely draw us closer to a conclusion," Tighnari adds.

"Why would I purposely try to hurt her?" asks Alhaitham.

They exchange glances. Alhaitham still had the ability to make them go speechless with his matter-of-fact tone.

"Well, he's definitely serious about her," says Cyno.

"I told you," Kaveh says. "Seems like she's the only person he'd open up to as well."

"Of course she is," Alhaitham replies.

"I wonder…" says Tighnari. "Has she ever shared her own struggles with you?"

"Why would that be a factor?"

"Well, that would display how comfortable she is around you."

"Hmm… Not bad…" Alhaitham seems to agree with his line of reasoning.

He goes quiet and uncomfortably so because the other three exchange awkward glances at each other in the meantime.

"Well?" Cyno breaks the silence.

"You may be right," Alhaitham tells Tighnari with a sigh. "But that certainly raises more questions."

"Can we just start playing Genius Invokation TCG?" asks Kaveh. "We just keep going in circles with this topic."

"So you guys did just drag me out to play cards," says Alhaitham.

"It would be interesting to meet her," says Tighnari. "It's gotten me curious."

"Same here," says Cyno.

Kaveh looks up at the tavern entrance. "Huh? She's actually here."

Alhaitham's eyes flicker open for a brief moment. "Nice try. I'm not falling for that."

"I didn't expect to see you here, Alhaitham," you say, ruffling his hair.

He freezes and the three of them take a closer look at his face.

"I never expected him to have that kind of expression," whispers Tighnari.

"Me neither," Cyno agrees.

Alhaitham clears his throat. "They simply invited me here for some cards," he tells you. "Nothing more."

"Can I join?" you ask.

Without question, Alhaitham gets up from his chair. He holds the back of his seat and slides it out, gesturing for you to take it.

Cyno and Tighnari widen their eyes.

"Is it just me or did that feel kind of odd?" says Tighnari.

"Coming from him? You're not wrong there," adds Cyno.

You hesitate for a moment before you accept his kindness and take his seat. He stands next to you, waiting for the other guys to start preparing the game.

The two onlookers feel slightly uncomfortable for some reason while Kaveh tells them another round of 'I-told-you-so's. There isn't anything out of the ordinary as you all take your turns playing each other. Cyno is intense as usual, not just with his tactics but also with how he approaches the battle like an interrogation. Tighnari was calm and collected even under pressure, and Kaveh spoke his mind with every move, regardless of whether it's his or his opponent's. But having you there with Alhaitham is… strange.

Nothing really happens of significance. The two of you treat each other well and with respect. Just having Alhaitham being a complete gentleman around you is unnerving for the rest of them. Curt responses and sarcastic remarks are absent. He's completely agreeable with you and his usual temper isn't there either. Everyone plays the game in peace.

"You should save that card for later," Alhaitham tells you. "He can't do anything for the rest of the round anyway."

"Hmm… I'm not quite sure if that's what I want to do yet," you respond.

"Alright," he says. "You should do what you think is best."

"This guy…" Kaveh turns to you. "How do you get him to be like that? If it were any of us, he would've scolded us with a lengthy explanation about how we'd lose if we didn't follow his exact instructions."

"What? She can think for herself."

"And none of us can't?"

"I'm already familiar with how the three of you play and where you go wrong. I want to see if she does anything differently."

"It seems that he really does only compliment you, huh?" Tighnari tells you.

"Why would I do otherwise?" Alhaitham states.

His straightforward remark stuns them once again.

"Okay, we get it," says Kaveh. "We all know about your huge crush on her."

"Seems like you can't say anything bad about her even if you try," Cyno comments.

"Of course I can."

"You can?" you ask.

The whole table looks at you funny. You fiddle with the cards in your hand, pretending you weren't shocked for a split second.

"Interesting," says Cyno.

Alhaitham crosses his arms. "What is it?"

"I'm keeping my observations to myself for now."

Alhaitham raises a brow, but lets it go for the meantime.

A few rounds go by and you help set up for the next. When Alhaitham picks up a die for you from the floor, your hand brushes against his and the die falls off the table once more.

"What's wrong?" Alhaitham asks as he picks up the die again. "You're not usually this clumsy."

"I don't think there's anything wrong with me," you say.

He takes a closer look at you and you avoid his eyes. "Alright," he says. "You still ready to play?"

"I'll need to head out soon," Tighnari says. "It's my turn to be on patrol for tonight."

"Hold on," Cyno says, placing his cards on the table. "One last round. I'll be your opponent this time," he tells you.

You finish setting up the game and test your skills against Cyno. He certainly doesn't make it easy for you. You fall behind pretty quickly, but at least he's not as intimidating as when he played with some of the others.

"So," Cyno says, "what do you think of Alhaitham?"

Your eyes widen at his sudden question.

"You're straight up asking her?" says Kaveh.

"Why not?"

"I guess he has a point," says Tighnari.

They turn their attention to you to see what you'd say.

"Well…" you say, "he's very intelligent and talented."

"No, not what everyone else says," says Cyno. "What you think."

"What do you think you're doing?" asks Alhaitham. "Are you interrogating her right now?"

"Just let her answer the question."

"Well…" you say, "he's nice? And sweet?"

Cyno raises a brow.

"He's cute?"

"Pfft." Kaveh holds in his laughter.

Cyno ignores him and presses the question.

"I don't know how to respond," you tell him. "We've known each other for so long I can't just sum it up in a sentence."

"Alright. I'll get straight to the point," says Cyno. "What do you think of Alhaitham's feelings for you?"

"I think he should get to know other people… and try dating someone else?"

"See?" says Kaveh.

"I've already told you I'm not interested in anyone else," Alhaitham says.

"No, you should listen to her answer," Cyno tells him. "She's not lying."

"What?" Alhaitham widens his eyes.

"I'm not done yet," says Cyno. "There's more." He turns to you. "How serious do you think Alhaitham is about you?"

"He's definitely sincere."

"I'm pretty sure that was obvious," says Tighnari.

"But you don't take his feelings seriously," Cyno tells you.

"It's not that. It's just…"

"You don't?" asks Alhaitham.

"Alright. It's your turn from here," Cyno tells him.

"But I thought I was clear," Alhaitham tells you.

"You were."

"Apparently not clear enough."

"Look. You used to follow me around like a duckling whenever you weren't reading a book," you tell him. "How was I supposed to take your crush on me seriously?"

"It's been more than a decade since then."

"I... Okay, fair enough," you concede. "But it would disappear once you learned I didn't live up to your expectations."

"What expectations?" Alhaitham raises his brow.

"I don't know. That I'm this perfect woman that you've been pining for more than half your life. You'd know I'm not so great if you'd actually try liking someone else."

"Is that what you've been telling yourself?"

"You never say anything bad about me."

"Why would I want to talk about your flaws? Especially when I've been trying to win you over," he says. "Besides, aren't they obvious to you?"

"What?" You're genuinely surprised. "Like what?"

"Like how stupid you're being right now."

You freeze.

"Besides, I've been around you long enough," Alhaitham continues. "There's plenty I don't like. Like the way you cut me off at times–"

"What?"

"–or your atrocious style–"

"Okay, that one hurt a bit–"

"–or how stupid do you have to be to keep asking Kaveh for money –"

"Alright. I get it."

"–or that time you–"

"Okay! I get it! You like me!"

Kaveh looks at you as if you've grown another head. "How did you come to that conclusion? Are we even listening to the same conversation?"

"I think she's finally realized that his feelings were deeper than she initially thought," says Tighnari. "Especially since she knows that Alhaitham is still objective with her and not blinded with infatuation."

"That's right," Cyno says. "She's been the exception to his behavior for a long time. It makes sense she would think his judgment would be clouded with the information she had."

You hide your face from them. It's embarrassing how they read you like a book once your guard was down.

"I didn't expect the solution to be so simple," Alhaitham says.

He slips his hand into yours and you let out a little squeak. "You've also been wanting to hold my hand for some time haven't you?"

"Ugh. You're all smug now because you know that I return your feelings."

"I also don't like how you rearranged my bookcase."

"You can stop now."

"I think it's time for us to go," says Cyno.

"But we haven't finished our match yet," you tell him.

"I'll just forfeit this one."

"I'm with you on that," says Kaveh. "Anything before they start being gross with each other."

"I guess this is a good time for me to head out as well," says Tighnari.

The two of you are suddenly left alone at the table with a bunch of dice in front of you.

"Well, that's one way to win a match," Alhaitham tells you. "I'd say it's pretty ingenious actually."

You simply groan. You know what's coming.

"Do you want me to help you win every time?"

"Please don't."

*****

I hope you liked it. :)

This is one of those fics I wish had inline commenting like on Wattpad. I would've loved to see how everyone reacted at certain parts in real time but unfortunately Tumblr doesn't have that.

Anyway, you can find links to my masterlist and taglist on my pinned post if you want to check out more of my writing.

#alhaitham x reader #alhaitham scenarios #alhaitham fluff #alhaitham fanfic #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact scenarios #genshin scenarios #genshin x reader #genshin impact fluff #genshin impact fanfics #genshin fluff #cyno #tighnari #kaveh

[dailyadventureprompts]

Monsters Reimagined: Yeenoghu, Demon Lord of Insatiable Hunger

It's been some years since I did my overhaul on the lore of the gnolls and how they embody the weird de/humanization that goes on with various monsters over d&d's history. Ever since I've had more than a few folks write in asking about how I would handle the default Gnoll God Yeenoghu, who exists in a similar state of "Kill everything that ever existed" to Orcus and a good portion of the game's other late game threats, thematically flat and not really useful for building stories around.

For a while I've avoided doing this post because I thought it might skew a little too close to my personal philosophy, and risk going from simply being influenced by my views to an outright soapbox. I personally hold that despite being part of our nature hunger is the source of the majority of human cruelty, and if society and cooperation are the tools we developed to best fight against the threat of famine, it is fear of that famine that allows the powerful to control society and secure their positions of privilege.

I've also dealt with disordered eating in a prior period of my life, alternating between neglecting my body's needs and punishing myself for needing in the first place. I'm well acquainted with hunger and the hollowing effect it can have, though I'd never claim to know it so well as someone who went hungry by anything other than choice and self hatred.

Learning to love food again saved saved my life. The joy of eating, of feeling whole and nourished, yes, but there was also the joy of making: of experimenting, improving, providing, being connected to a great tradition of cultivation which has guided our entire species.

If I was going to talk about an evil god of hunger, I was going to have to touch on all of that, and now that it's out in the open I can continue with a more thematic and narrative discussion on the beast of butchery below the cut.

What's wrong: Going by the default lore, there's not much that really separates Yeenoghu from any other chaotic evil mega-boss. He wants to kill everything in vicious ways, and encourages his followers to do the same. He's there so that the evil clerics can have someone to pray to because the objectively good gods are on the party's side and wouldn't help a bunch of cannibalistic slavers.

This is boring, we've done this song and dance before, and the only reason that there are so many demon lords/evil gods/archdevils like this is because the bioessentialism baked into the older editions of the game's lore was also a theological essentialism, and that every group had to have their own gods which perfectly embodied their ethos and there was no crossover whatsoever, themes be damned.

Normally I'd do a whole section about "what can be salvaged" from an old concept, but we're scraping the bottom of the barrel right from the inset. Likewise my trick of combining multiple bits of underwritten d&d mythology to make a sturdier concept isn't going to work as most of d&d's other gods of hunger or famine are similar levels of paper thin.

How do we fix it: I want Yeenoghu to be the opposite of the path I found myself on, a hunger so great and so painful that it percludes happiness, cooperation, or even rational thought. Hunger not as a sumptuous hedonistic gluttony but a hollowing emptiness that compels violence and desperation. More than just psychopathic slaughter and gore, it is becalmed sailors drinking seawater to quench their thirst, the urban poor mixing sawdust and plaster into their food because their wages are not enough to afford grain.

This is where we get the idea of Yeenoghu as an enemy of society, not because violence is antithical to society ( I think we've learned by now how structured violence can really be) but because society fundamentally breaks down when it can't take care of the people who provide its foundations. Contrast the Beast of Butchery with one of my other favourite villainous famine spirits: Caracalla the grim trader, who embodies scarcity as a form of profit and control in to Yeenoghu's scarcity as suffering.

Into this we can also add the idea of the hungry dead, ghouls yes but also vampires, anything cursed with an eternal existence and appetites it no longer has the ability to sate. A large number of cultures across the world share the idea that the dead cannot rest while they are starving, which is why we leave offerings of food by their graves or pour out a glass to the ones we lost along the way.

On that topic, there's also a scrap of lore involving Doresain god of ghouls, who has been depicted as an on and off servant of Yeenoghu. Since I'm already remaking the mythology, I'd have Doresain act as a sort of saint or herald for the demon lord, the wicked but still partially reasonable entity who can villain monolog before the feral and all consuming demon god shows up.

Summing it all up: Yeenoghu isn't a demon you wittingly worship, it's a demon that claims you, marks you as its mouthpiece and through you seeks to consume more of the world. It gives you just enough strength to keep on living, keep on suffering, keep on filling that hole in your belly and feed it in turn.

The greatest of these mouthpieces is Doresain, an elf of ancient times who's unearthly hungers elevated him to demigod status. Known as the knawbone king, he dwells within a dread domain of the shadowfell, and is sought out only for his ability to intercede with the maw-fiend's rampages.

Signs: Unnaturally persistent hunger pangs, excessive drool and gurgling stomach noises, the growth of extra teeth in the mouth, stomachs splitting open into mouths.

Symbols: An animal with three jaws, a three tailed flail or spiked whip. A crown of knawed bones (Doresain)

Titles: Beast of butchery, the maw fiend, the knawing god

Artist

#monsters reimagined #fiend #yeenoghu #undead #deity

[crowleyholmes]

hi there chris! since the new year is approaching rapidly, i wanted to ask my favorite creators (that includes you! i love your art!) how they look back on their 2023 tumblr year and which blogs made them happy to be here. i am very happy to follow you and hope you'll have a great 2024! 💘

Hiiii omg this is so sweet and means a lot to me, thank you! 🥺💕

I've been meaning to do a little end-of-the-year shoutout/love post for some of my favorite blogs, so I hope you don't mind if I use your ask as the perfect excuse!

I've had many fun years on tumblr, but this one has been extra special. Falling into the Good Omens fandom and meeting all of you amazing people has made this year so so SO much better than it otherwise would have been, so here are some special shoutouts (apologies, I'm sure this will get long, things like this tend to get away from me, so I'll put it under a read-more)

@majortomyourcurcuitsdead SASHA can you believe I was going to just send you an anon telling you that I think you're cool and leave it at that. Can you believe it. WELL thank Somebody you had your anon turned off and I had to expose myself in your dms because it feels like we just instantly connected about like 20 different things and haven't stopped talking since sskjdfhs anyway I'm so happy I met you you're so fun and so clever and so talented and so enthusiastic and I've only known you for like. What 2 months?? Ish? But I already love you so much <3

@lineffability !!! Line you are so *struggles to find words* you're just great is what you are okay. I feel like you are what happens when somebody takes a big cup and puts six shots of love, chaos, sunshine, talent, fun, and enthusiasm into it, generously sprinkles intelligence on top and gives it a good stir. I don't even remember how or when or why we started talking tbh? But your creativity is so inspiring, and some of my favorite tumblr-moments of this year have been 'yes-and'ing with you about one thing or another in a very >:3 manner hahah so! my point is! i love you lots <3

@dontbotheraziraphale Teeeedddd you're wonderful, I vented at you one time and then we talked for like 2 hours and at the end of that 1 conversation I already considered you a friend - and not just in that "tumblr mutuals who talk 1 time are my friends" kind of way but like. Genuinely. You're so kind and so fun and every time we talk it's such a good time ily a lot my bro my buddy my man <3

@crikey01 Tallulah HI I also completely forgot how we started talking but I remember connecting the dots that you were the one who painted those INSANE black and white and gold oil paintings and the way my jaw dropped like?? BRO you're so talented I admire you so much! And I love that we bonded over stopping each other from masochistically checking certain peoples' blogs... 😂 Anyway you're so sweet and fun and ily lots <3

---

The list could probably go on but you four are the people I've talked to most on here and you're the tumblr chat boxes I never close but always just minimize and y'all better see this as the ultimate internet declaration of affection that it Clearly is >:D 💕

---

And here are some more shout-outs because I just HAVE to.

Apologies, I know I've already tagged a bunch of you recently in a mutuals appreciation post but. This is my official thank-you-for-2023 post and I just have a lot of love for you all okay sorry feel free to ignore this <3

@rowan-ashtree (i'll text you back soon I promise I'm sorry I just haven't had the brain-space recently ssjkdfh) @crawley-fell (we've never talked but i love you from afar :')) @ineffabildaddy @llokilaufeyson @actual-changeling @saryasy @hyperfocusthusly @beccibarnes @rainbowcrowley @thesherrinfordfacility @goodoldfashionednightingale @wibbly-wobbly-blog @highlyillogicalandroid (i see your data obsession and i agree <3) @tortugay @foolishlovers @stargazing-crowley @gingiekittycat @weasleywrinkles @bildads-shoes @finleycannotdraw @bowtiepastabitch @heytherefluffy @samwwise @nocturnal-birb @athousandyearstime @angelsdiningattheritz @most-normal-eccles-cake-ignorer @jedthesecretdreamer @wraithee @hydrangeadangea @southfarthing @frodo-baggins @mobius-m-mobius

#asks #2023 reflections #personal #friends and mutuals and others appreciation post <33

[dlstmxkakwldrlarchive]

SHINee ANNIVERSARY D-DAY Q&A

How do you feel about the 15th anniversary?

ONEW: It's amazing to think that 15 years went by really quickly, and I'm proud that I've experienced and challenged so many things while working as SHINee.

KEY: The 15th anniversary of our debut, this day has really come. It feels really new.

MINHO: It might sound a little obvious, but it really doesn't feel real. I am just thankful and happy that my dream that started when I was a high school student continues.

TAEMIN: I'm really looking forward to our comeback after a long time. When did time go by like this...I'm surprised whenever I hear that it's our 15th anniversary!(laughs)

What was the most memorable activity or the most memorable moment with the fans?

ONEW: The time when I lived in the dorm with the members. And the performances that received your support are always in my heart.

KEY: Since our debut, all the anniversaries, fan meetings, concerts, etc. are precious and vivid.

MINHO: It's hard to pick one because I have so many memories, but if I have to pick one, it's a concert.

I remember all the concerts. Each and every performance that I made as one with SHINee World is precious and I feel overwhelmed and excited just by thinking about it.

TAEMIN: Every performance is precious, but what comes to mind immediately reminds me of the first Tokyo Dome stage in 2015, the largest of our solo concerts.

Why is SHINee loved since long time?

ONEW: I think it's sincerity. All the members always work hard!

KEY: There's an expectation given by the name "SHINee," and I think they're looking forward to seeing us all working hard to meet that expectation.

MINHO: You always think of me as doing my best, so I'm always thankful. Of course, it's the same for all artists, but SHINee is a team that puts everything into the stage. I think our fans are very loyal. There are a lot of people who have seen our growth period, so I think they will keep SHINee in their hearts like memories from their school days.

What do you think is "SHINee-like"?

ONEW: I think it's different. I'm always thankful that many people say, "It's different if SHINee does it."

KEY: I think it's 'Always looking for something new = SHINee'

MINHO: The word 'contemporary band' has a lot of power.

I think it's the most SHINee-like part that always presents new things and challenges.

TAEMIN: Members with strong personality like rainbows are united but harmonious. That's SHINee.

You're holding a fan meeting to celebrate your 15th debut anniversary. What are you looking forward to the most?

ONEW: Since it's been a while since we've met our fans as SHINee, I'm most curious and looking forward to what we're going to talk about.

KEY: It's been a while since SHINee and SHINee World got together!Just imagining it makes my heart flutter.I can't wait for that day.

MINHO: I'm really looking forward to making another memory with SHINee World.It's been a while since we've been together, so I'm looking forward to your support.I heard there's a Q&A session with the fans, so I'm curious about what you're curious about. (laughs)

TAEMIN: I'm really looking forward to meeting the fans, and I want to show you all the performances that I haven't shown you in person for the past few years.

If you could give a spoiler about your new album this year in one word or sentence?

ONEW: A new chapter.

KEY: Be nervous!

MINHO: Strong and firm SHINee.

TAEMIN: New SHINee.

SHINee's dream, SHINee's goal ?

Onew: To be together.With the members and SHINee World.

Key: SHINee won't be complacent and will continue to move forward.

MINHO: I want to achieve more things with the members and SHINee World in the future.I think SHINee just started.I want to talk more with each other and make a better stage.

Taemin: Always healthy and repaying the fans with gratitude. That's my goal

Please say something to SHINee World who has been with us for 15 years.

ONEW: Thank you for always being with us.I hope we can continue to make happy and beautiful memories for each other. I love you.

Key: I don't know how to thank you.Thank you for believing in me, I believe in you, and I'll work harder.Thank you very much.Time is always fast and sometimes slow, but I want to always be with you, whether it's a good day or a bad day.

Minho: Thank you so much, it's not enough to express it in any words. We'll repay you for that gratitude.Once again, thank you so much and I love you.

TAEMIN: Thank you so much SHINee World for making us special.

×

#230525 #shinee #ot5 #onew #lee jinki #jinki #kim kibum #kibum #key #choi minho #minho #lee taemin #taemin #shinee 8th album #shinee spoilers #interviews

[juliapark13]

sending this ask because i want for all the tkkrs who lurk here to see me debunk all their previous and new narratives;

1) "taekook was real" no it wasn't. yall pretended that they were real for years and got slammed thrice, first when tae replied "you'd better get out of the imagination, it's not good in there" to a taekooker on weverse telling him to look at jk's photos whom he loves before going to sleep.

then it was in ITS1 when taekook admitted to having drifted apart when yall spent years making up excuses for why they aren't behaving like you wanted them to, saying that the company is forcing them to hide.

then yall spent every waking moment of 2023 repeatedly using the "taekook are finally free in this solo era and they're coming out to let everyone know that they're together. the company doesn't control them anymore." narrative. then BOOM, taennie got caught.

2) "taehyung is being punished for being loud about him and jungkook so he was forced to get into a fake PR fan service relationship"

a) nothing about taennie is fan service. their fans hate each other and blinks hate taehyung, armys hate jennie. which fans are they servicing?

b) this taennie thing has been going around since late 2021 when tae accidentally followed her on Instagram. it's not a recent thing that hybe chose as a coverup for TK.

c) i thought tkkrs took pride in taehyung never bowing to the company? i thought only jk was the helpless puppet forced into a fake relationship with jimin? i thought that's why hybe were easily able to make jk delete his IG account but couldn't force taehyung? now tae is a puppet too?

d) accusing tae of doing fan service? the same insulting crap you attached to jimin all these years? tkkrs are now tae antis as well?

3) "it's the lookalike" no it's not. he's in Seoul amidst of this controversy. and it was never him at all. other than the fact that he denied being the one in the pictures, and him having a girlfriend, all those pictures that were leaked last year that yall spent hours insulting every part of tae's body in vain effort to prove it isn't him backfired badly for you today. i saw tkkrs calling tae in today's pictures "musty, white, ugly, with a moustache, flat assed" and a whole bunch of other bullshit just for clear pictures to come out later proving it was indeed taehyung.

4) "it still doesn't prove that jikook is real" no one said that. we're here to talk about how yall spent years moving like a cult, twisting reality at every turn of events that didn't fit you little bubble, and dragged jimin for YEARSSS accusing him of all kind of shit but most importantly is how yall accused him of oppressing your precious taekook, yall accused him of trying to steal jungkook from taehyung when jk was never tae's in the first place. yall accused jimin of being a bad friend to tae for being all over his man when tae was dating a woman this whole time. THIS is why jikookers/pjms are gloating rn. because we've been waiting for jimin to be freed of your narratives for years. we've tried talking it out with you using logic MANY times, that your ship isn't real and taekook are just close friends, that you shouldn't drag an innocent man in the sake of theory that could very well turn out false at any day. but yall didn't listen, yall left no place for doubt in your minds and were so adamant that taekook is real and didn't matter to you what horrible shit you said about jimin, even jk in the process. yall accused jk of being a cheater, accused him of being toxic and riling tae up on purpose to make him jealous, accused of enjoying fan service with jimin too much, got mad at him for never doing things for tae that he did for jimin, etc. all of this shit can't and won't be erased in one day. now you have jjks, pjms, and jikookers all celebrating and they will make your lives HELL like you made ours and our idols’.

i'm just gonna end this with saying that this was a long time coming, and taekook were never going to scare me even if tae and jk kept their private lives private forever. even if taennie was never confirmed, taekook would still be as much as a lie as they've always been. no amount of theories, lies, manipulation, and gaslighting would've made that ship sail. and anyone with a half brain could see from a mile away that taekook are just great friends, nothing more. except for taekookers, yall st yourselves up long ago when you started shipping them based on aesthetic, potential and popularity, and now you're been bitch slapped by reality and your bubble finally burst. i can't say i told you so but I told you so.

They can’t get it and they can’t see it, because delusion is a mental disorder defined as:

false belief based on incorrect inference about external reality that is firmly sustained despite what almost everybody else believes and despite what constitued incontrovertible and obvious proof for evidence to the contrary.

#jikook #kookmin

[deadmomjokes]

Betwixt Christmas gift cash and Steam Family Sharing workaround shenanigans, the husband and I have finally started Baldur's Gate 3.

Went in basically blind except for knowing the names of the companions and the fact that Astarion is a vampire (couldn't miss that cultural osmosis).

We also came in on two different meta-levels as players.

He is very familiar with D&D, D&D-based games, computer games in general, and these sorts of games specifically. He's also that kind of person that plays things on Extreme Difficulty Mode for fun. He quits when something isn't challenging enough. His idea of relaxing, rewarding gameplay is ultra-hard-mode Elden Ring and Dark Souls.

I, on the other hand, am bad at games. Full stop. I have lost Wii Mario Kart to a 6 year old, repeatedly. I get hopelessly lost even when there's detailed maps, trackers, compasses, and flagged waypoints. I also panic in combat situations and have no strategic ability aside from "stand there, hit it, and hope it doesn't move." I'm more of a low-stakes visual novel sort of gamer. Stardew Valley is as intense as I get.

He is playing a Seldarine Drow warlock in a pact with an archfey. She's a noble with a ridiculously high Charisma score, a perfectly balanced spell loadout, and an even more balanced overall stat build. She's DPS without being totally squishy and helpless, and has advantage to almost everything. She also has an impeccable fashion sense and always looks put together, even when on death's door to a brain worm. Or, to put it in a way my husband would loathe, she got that drip.

I am playing a ginger himbo of a high elf fighter with -1 to Charisma and a -1000 to common sense. He's an impulsive maniac with, somehow, a +3 to intimidation despite being a truly gentle soul that believes every sob story he comes across. He's a sweaty, dusty, grubby little feral child (outlander background) with the world's messiest ponytail and greasepaint-turned-eyeliner that a 90s ex emo kid would be proud of. And that's him trying to look presentable. Despite having an impressive dexterity score, my natural disadvantage to dexterity (and Wisdom and Intelligence) as the player makes it so that this man bumbles his way into everything and only gets out by making horrifying threats he has absolutely no intention of following up on, or by being forced to stand his ground and take it on the jaw.

So this was going to be An Experience no matter what. And boy, it sure has been.

Thus far, we have:

Accidentally pacifism'd our way into every Goblin/Absolute aligned settlement we've encountered on the pure luck of husband's choice to play a Drow because he thought it would add an interesting dynamic. That interesting dynamic, he thought, would be difficulty. He thought being a Drow would make it harder because of the general hatred toward them. He's technically good-aligned, but, y'know, planet-of-hats racism means he was expecting it to work against him, which he likes because he likes when things are hard. Only now it's basically a free pass into all the areas we'd normally have to fight or sneak into. Great for our shared pacifist tendencies, but LOL

Lost a full hour of progress because my computer screen is tiny and bad at graphics and I hadn't learned all the controls yet, so while trying to investigate a hole in the floor of an abandoned church I tripped in face-first and got us into an unescapable, imminent-TPK situation, whereupon the game immediately autosaved for the first time since waking up on the beach. We have since learned to spam the quicksave button liberally.

Accepted a ton of mutually exclusive quests, half of which we have no intention of doing, just to try and get out of situations without combat, so now the mini map now looks like a cubist rendition of a simple sun drawing and I'm SO worried it's going to come crashing down and get us shanked in our sleep.

MET BEST BOY DOGGO I WILL DIE FOR SCRATCH 😭

Discovered husband's character is, build wise, a carbon-copy of Wyll. This was 100% unintentional and he's BIG mad about it LOL RIP

Impulsively pushed a button in a crypt without saving and woke up a bunch of skellies we weren't prepared for, but were somehow also saved by that same impulsivity because I had previously run around the entire area and looted every single skeleton no matter how useless it was to my character, so they all woke up without their weapons so HAH take that I TOLD YOU being a klepto would pay off

Immediately after this fortuitous stroke of fate, having learned exactly nothing, my impulsive maniac opened the shiny sarcophagus before consulting anyone or healing. Luckily it wasn't cursed or trapped or full of enemies (it was Withers, and I'm love), but I'm now not allowed to open or interact with anything bigger than a crate without announcing it first so husband has the chance to go NO WAIT LET ME SAVE FIRST

Sneaked into a secret underground passage, whereupon my husband sent his invisible'd familiar around to carefully scout the area, discovering the button that would turn off the overpowered guardian statue. My character then readied a crossbow shot to hit said button, but in trying to move out of the way of the other party members, stepped right into the statue's attack circle. I panicked, tried to move, but couldn't figure out how to unselect the attack I could no longer use, and tried to fix it by pausing. But all of that just resulted in me standing there, doing nothing, until I finally dropped dead. Luckily I passed my saving throws, and more luckily still, my husband managed to stop laughing long enough to eldritch blast the statue to pieces and come get me.

So anyway, we're having the best time. I know we're late to the party, but it really is so good. I may have even teared up a little during the dream sequence with the psychedelic neon light guardian warriors. This is going to consume my brain for the next few months, and I'm happy to have paid for the privilege. 10/10, absolutely deserves that GOTY and the $60 price tag both.

No spoilers please, we're only level 3 and just encountering the Goblin Camp. (We've met everyone but Karlach, I believe.) But rest assured, as we learn and discover more I will come yelling and seeking those who will screech with me. Probably mostly about my new sons that I've acquired, namely the lying purple sadsack trash wizard with some horrifying kind of chronic illness and/or addiction, and the prettiest most specialist murder machine who definitely won't admit it but is definitely gonna need a hug when I finish breaking down those obviously performative emotional walls.

Also, Lae'zel scares me. Please stop yelling at me, you cranky fish woman, I'm trying my best here 😭

#bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #no spoilers plz #also i love how the companions are: #scary women #and secretly messed up sadboi prettymen #i have so many sad sons

[flamingo-writes]

Caught Fire – e.m.

Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

A/N: This is going to be a long list so brace yourselves! Or just skip to the fic fhnsdk

So, I started writing this on Sunday and it's Friday now. And kid you not, all of my free time from work I spent it here, planning, writing and editing this...I really poured a lot of effort here, so I hope you all like it.

Don't let the length of this fanfic intimidate you, I promise it's worth it. 15.6K words with a lot of story and emotions.

This fanfic is actually very personal to me, several of the things in this fanfic are based of memories from my high school with a few of my crushes dnhckjs

The title is based of How Can I resist by Heart. And I know, I have another fanfic based of this same song, but c'mon it's one f my all time favorite songs and I love the lyrics and I can see Eddie vibing to this song

Also, I want to give my lovely friend @storiesthatneedtobewritten bcs Em, you're awesome, and we've been fangirling about Eddie nonstop for the last few days. Em is also working on a Eddie fanfic! So keep an eye out for it!!

Summary: After a very interesting detention, Eddie can't help but think of his bad luck of having met you with the end of the schoolyear around the corner. Specially after your plans for college are so far away from Hawkins. The instant friendship soon had him smitten, and before he realized it, he was in love with you. With graduation closer and closer, things seem to simultaneously get perfect between the both of you, but also messy. The both of you screw up, and hurt each other in the process. And there's a decision Eddie has to make.

Warnings: Cursing, alcohol consumption, mentions of drug consumption, Eddie and the reader being idiots, angst, smut.

Genre: strangers to friends to lovers, fluff, angst, hurt-comfort, smut.

Word Count: 15.6K words

Taglist: @nightless @emotionaldreamer @totallynotkaibiased @kibumslatina @lonely-kermit @angelzone @random-fandom-900 @joukiworld @slightlyvicked

The detention room was always so…strangely, peacefully quiet. Sure, every time he was there after class, he felt the need to poke out his own eyes out of boredom, but this was perhaps the most at peace he found himself when he was at school. When it wasn’t D&D night, of course.

The usual handful of people were there. Mark, a guy who fell asleep in perhaps too many classes. Jessica who snapped back at a teacher or two. Some kid who’s name Eddie always forgot, caught copying the homework or perhaps a test. And the latest addition to the group, a freshman who had been caught more than once writing down stuff in the bathroom stalls and smoked inside the classroom. 

The bunch of misfits. An odd little family Eddie had grown to appreciate over the course of detention hours. 

Eddie completely ignored the sound of the door opening and closing as he had his arms crossed over the desk and his face buried in it. Caught in a slumbered state, not entirely asleep yet, he still heard light footsteps, deciding they were not worth his attention. Not yet, at least.

"Welcome. Sit down. Think about what you did, write an essay about it, and you better not write down that you’d do it again…" Ms. Phelps said.

Eddie, far past the point of caring and half awake state, knew it was someone who wasn’t usually in detention. And hearing Ms Phelps’s instructions, he noticed how for the last few years, barely anything had changed. Same speech, same instructions, and the same lack of interest for reading said essays. Same essays Eddie stopped writing a long time ago, since they didn’t matter. The time the clock struck 5 o’clock, they were off the hook.

He heard a groan, a sigh and finally a loud thud on the desk next to his. And finally, deciding it was worth to look up and see who it was, Eddie saw you. Your forehead was pressed against the table, as you frowned frustrated and resigned, your leg anxiously bouncing; and you seemed to be mumbling to yourself. He smirked amused. 

“Now, that’s a surprise…” He whispered, catching your attention as you opened your eyes and looked at him with panic devouring your eyes. “Welcome to the misfits” He said in a low deep voice, trying to get any form of reaction from you.

‘What a surprise,’ he thought. You, out of all people. He scanned you up and down, the look of a scared animal caught wandering where it shouldn’t was splattered all over your face. Your camera resting on the desk and the strap was wrapped around your hand, an outfit he thought was cute in philosophy class earlier that day, and the sweet smell of your perfume —a smell he always associated with vanilla cookies— reached his nostrils. 

The interest he already had on you seemed to spark. He always found you cute and thought your antiques were adorable. Far too quiet, far too polite, and definitely far too nice to frequent the social circles you did. However, it was part of who you were. And you were the school photographer, a member of the school newspaper. Meaning you were often around the socialite groups, the various sports teams, the cheerleaders, the popular kids…Which was why Eddie never really felt the need to approach you and talk to you. You belonged in another social group, despite your entire personality not exactly matching with the people you frequented. 

You didn’t exactly belong. And more than once Eddie thought those people kept you around mostly out of convenience. The better they get along with the school photographer, the more and better pictures of them make it to the paper. Symbiosis, if you will. You take the good pictures, they maintain your popularity.

“Thanks,” You replied awkwardly.

"Silence!” The teacher snapped, and you flinched. 

Eddie smirked amused, thinking you looked cute. Well…cuter when you flinched. He looked over at Ms Phelps as she soon got distracted in her magazine once more. Biting the tip of his tongue, he grabbed his backpack and pulled out a notebook and opened it in the first blank page he found and took out a pen. 

As you continued to shake your leg anxiously, your eyes were glued to the clock on top of the blackboard. It was barely 3 pm, and the football game would start in half an hour. Nancy Wheeler was going to murder you for getting your ass in trouble and missing the big final, and not getting any pictures. You needed to get out of there, but Ms. Phelps had a reputation of being insufferable, and making an agreement was not an option. Even trying to picture the possible conversation with her, you were sure you’d end up crying out of the utter panic and Ms Phelps raising her voice at you. And the last thing you wanted was for everyone there to see you cry and beg.

You flinched again, as you caught Eddie sliding a folded piece of paper over your desk. He met your stare and gave you a cheeky wink as you grabbed the piece of paper and unfolded the whole page.

‘Fancy seeing you here,’ was written with messy yet nice looking handwriting. 

You sighed and looked at him. Something in his cheeky grin softened into a more genuine smile, as you actually felt some sort of odd comfort radiating from his dark eyes. Eddie with whom you’d perhaps exchanged a total of 7 phrases during the school year and lent him your notes one time he skipped class to go to a concert. You always admired his complete lack of fucks to give. And even found his laidback and usually chill attitude —mixed with his rockstar appearance— attractive. But you were slightly intimidated by him. 

You grabbed a pen from your backpack and wrote down your reply hoping he’d catch on your sarcasm.

‘You know, I’ve always had a fascination for rebellious acts against the system’

You folded the paper and handed it back to him. He picked it and read it, his smile spreading wider across his face as he appreciated your handwriting, far prettier and nicer to stare at than whatever his messy doctor handwriting was.

You watched him glance at you and then started writing. He passed you the note.

‘Ah, non conforming, I see…Good. I like you better now. Excuse my intrusive nose, but I can’t help but wonder why Hawkins High Photographer is stuck in the detention room, looking like you’ve seen a ghost. Did your journalist nature get you in trouble?’

Eddie noticed the way you smiled softly. Amused by his peculiar writing, you looked up again at him. He was glad that he had managed to make the terrified look in your eyes change. You looked back down and moved your pen at once.

‘Well, for starters, Nancy will be mad at me for not getting pics of the game that’s happening right now…And also, I punched Jason Carver in the jaw’ 

You handed him back the note as he looked at it. As his eyes went over your reply and he let a loud laugh escape his throat as he clapped his hands.

“Ah, marvellous!” He sang.

“Munson!” Ms. Phelps barked.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m sorry…” He sighed, raising his hands as he looked at the teacher and then leaned over his elbows over the desk, waiting for her to look back at her magazine before he started writing down his next reply.

‘You’ll have to tell me more about punching Jason…Do you wanna go to the game?’ Somehow, his voice was in your head as you read.

‘Well it’s not a matter whether I want to or not. I have to…But I can’t just leave here’ You replied.

‘I’ll cover you,’

After reading his reply, you looked over at him, slightly confused as he stretched his hand over to your desk and snatched the piece of paper back, wrinkling in his palm as he winked at you and stood up from his desk rather loudly. 

“What in God’s name do you think you’re doing, Munson?” The teacher asked, he shrugged in a silent reply.

“I didn’t like the way my regretful speech was turning, that’s all…” He said as he stood by the teacher's desk and tossed the paper on the bin. “What?” 

“Were you really writing the essay?” Ms Phelps raised an eyebrow questioningly.

“If you don’t believe me, read it” He said confidently, making your heart race as you could see the horror unfold before your eyes as you wondered if Ms Phelps would actually grab the piece of paper and read it. 

But she didn’t. She limited herself to stare at Eddie, her small eyes squinting, almost disappearing from her face. 

“You’re up to something…” She said, making Eddie chuckle. 

“Must I always have a master plan behind everything I do? Am I not just free to do things for the sake of it?” He asked with his sarcastic smirk on his face.

“You speak far too eloquently for someone who keeps repeating senior year…”

“I’m going to pretend like that wasn’t an insult in disguise and instead take it as a compliment because you called me eloquent. I spend a lot of time reading. Besides, it’s but a single class the one I’m struggling with, the rest I know the lectures almost by heart now…” His smile grew into a toothy proud smirk. 

Eddie avoided looking up at you to draw any suspicion. And as the teacher continued to bicker with him, you very silently grabbed your backpack and walked towards the door, slowly pushing it open and closing it very slowly.

Eddie would be lying if he said he didn’t spend the rest of his afternoon thinking of you. Not in a dreamy kid with a crush kind of way. He thought about you in general. And how despite most of the people in the school paper being for the most part tacky and conceited, you remained very humble. 

The next day, very much to his displeasure, you two didn’t share any classes that day. He would’ve liked to see you and talk to you, but looking around school or keeping his eyes wide open while walking down the halls was too much effort.

“Hey, Ed. Hawkins High journalist 6 o’clock…” Dustin whispered upon noticing you awkwardly approaching their table.

You had your binder pressed against your chest as you shyly walked closer to them, camera hanging from your shoulder and your backpack from the other one.

Eddie sat up straight and turned around. His gaze turned into a confident smile. Your entire look was adorable, he had to admit. He stood up and gently bowed, offering you the seat next to him.

“Oh, well, well, well…The rebellious princess is blessing us with her presence…” He said as you smiled shyly and sat between him and Dustin.

“What a weird way to say hello” You giggled putting your binder and camera over the table.

“I’m not the school freak for nothing, babe” He smirked. “What do we owe the pleasure?”

“I wanted to thank you for helping me out yesterday,” You said looking at him with a genuine smile and sparkly eyes. “I managed to get to the game on time, took a few pics, didn’t get murdered by Nancy…And all thanks to you…” You said as the rest of the Hellfire Club exchanged stares, slightly confused. "I am indebted to you, and I’ll gladly buy you lunch someday, or a drink or whatever…”

“I’m glad I could help…” He smirked. “I’ll take your word on lunch someday, sweetheart”

 It seemed like since that day, Eddie and you became friends. And over the course of the week you went from waving and smiling at each other when you walked across each other in the halls, to stopping at the sight of the other to exchange a few words or questions “What class you’ve got next?” “Hey, can I borrow your calculator?” “Mr Owens is in a mood today, make sure to not say anything stupid nor too sarcastic”. People started giving you weird looks when they noticed you and Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson started interacting more and more. Especially when you went from knowing the other exists to actually talking outside the school, in the parking lot, by your locker. And all over the course of a week and a half. 

Two weeks after your detention incident, you finally took Eddie out for lunch to thank him for what he did. You two went to a Chinese restaurant  by the mall one Thursday afternoon after school, you would’ve gone on a Friday, but Eddie had told you Fridays were Hellfire days. And not wanting to disrespect your newfound golden friendship, you decided to go on Thursday instead. 

“I hate this,” You giggled as you kept trying to hold some of your rice with your chopsticks and it kept falling and falling. 

“This was your idea, baby” He giggled as he  effortlessly grabbed some rice from your bowl and pulled his chopsticks up to your mouth. 

“You’re so good at this, it’s unfair” You giggled as you took the bite he offered you and blushed at the realisation that he had fed you. “How do you do it?” You murmured with your cheeks stuffed with rice.

“I’ve got a few hidden talents. Between playing guitar and painting miniatures, you learn how to carefully handle things…” He said as he then grabbed a piece of chicken and ate it. 

“You’re so incredibly artistic, Ed…Have you noticed that?” You sighed.

“I mean, I do want to become a musician…”

“No, not just that…” You said. “You paint your miniatures, and actually do a very good job at it, you play the guitar, you’ve said you write lyrics too, right? And you  not only design maps but plan these adventures for Hellfire. You’re insanely creative, Eddie!” You gasped.

The enthusiasm in your voice made his cheeks heat up and his heart skip a beat. Not really used to being flattered like that. Or in any way that wasn’t playing his guitar or while playing his role as Dungeon Master. And here you were recalling all the things he took for granted and as a part of his daily routine and made him realise how indeed, all those things required more creativity and talent than the average person had. 

“So me being a nerd is artistic?” He chuckled.

“Not all nerds are. But the very specific kind of nerd you are, yeah…” 

“Thanks, I guess…” He smiled, feeling the heat clinging to his cheeks. 

“I mean it. All these little things you do, they’re amazing, I swear. Too bad not everyone gets to realise this…” You sighed, “Artists are always under appreciated”

Eddie looked at you with a new found intrigue. His heart suddenly beating loudly in his chest as your big wide eyes met his and you smiled. He felt his heart being pierced with an arrow. The kind looks you gave him, your gentle and overall soft demeanour, and your clear appreciation of who he was…Rarely people gave him a chance, and those who did were soon surprised with how Eddie wasn’t the mean and scary person everyone took him for. But there was something different about the way you treated him, like you’d never really cared about the things people had to say about him, like he wasn’t a freak, like you were genuinely curious of who he was as a person and you weren’t enduring an interaction with him like it happened when someone bought drugs off of him. 

You spent the rest of the afternoon together just talking and getting to know each other better. At least until 9 o’clock when he drove you home. A little bit too early for his taste, but you had insisted.

“My dad and his stupid 9 pm curfew, I’m sorry…” You sighed. 

“I mean, we can at least still talk and hang out, right?” He asked. 

“Yeah, of course…Let me just go inside and tell my parents I’m back and that we’re going to be out here…” You said as you hopped down his van. 

He watched you leave as he got down himself and grabbed a cigarette, lighting it and taking a drag. His thoughts circled around everything that had happened. Especially the way you smiled at him and told him you thought he was incredibly artistic. Even the memory tickled his belly and made his heart squeeze as he thought he was done for. He watched you go out and walk to the edge of the sidewalk and sit down, patting the free space next to you, inviting him to sit with you. He chuckled and walked towards you, noticing the curtains from the large window next to the door move and someone peeking out. Eddie instinctively waved, and whoever it was waved back, as you turned around to see. 

“Oh, that’s my dad…” You replied and looked back at Eddie. 

And just like that, the curtains fell once more behind the glass. 

From then on, the friendship bloomed. Eddie was not only easy to talk to, but something about his unhinged and spontaneous personality drew you in like a moth to light. Once Eddie managed to get over your shy facade, he was pleased to learn that your hidden playfulness matched his perfectly. Only perpetuating the feelings Eddie was growing over you. 

Even, in an attempt to spend more and more time with you, he agreed to study with you and even hang out in the afternoons and do homework together, helping each other out if needed. This was such a new thing for Eddie, he even found himself enjoying these little study dates. Sure, he still disliked sitting down and studying, but your company sure made it bearable. That and the focused look in your eyes when you concentrated, or how passionate you got when you were explaining something to him took his breath away. 

As the finals were drawing closer and closer you spent more and more time together, studying and catching up on homework. And one particular day, you were in his trailer, specifically in the living room sitting on the floor with your books and notes lying all around as you were explaining something to him about biology. Eddie entranced with your voice and hands moving around, he even had a small smile on his face. 

The door swung open slowly as Eddie’s uncle walked inside and found the both of you there. The scene was instantly surprising as it was clear that you two were studying. Eddie was studying. 

“Oh, you’re early…” Eddie sighed as he looked at his uncle and stood up, stretching lightly before offering you a hand and helping you up. “Hun, this is my uncle, the one and only Wayne Munson” He said and then turned at Wayne and called your name no loud and clear. “My dearest friend, companion I’d say partner in crime, but she’s too sweet for that…” 

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Munson…” You said gazing at him.

“Oh dear, drop the formality. You can call me Wayne, it’s alright” He chuckled awkwardly. “You’re studying, now that’s new…” Wayne joked. 

“Oh yeah, she’s Ms Good Influence in my life now…She convinced me to study…” Eddie teased as you giggled and watched him attentively. 

Something in Eddie’s demeanour changed when Wayne arrived. Not new walls building, but quite the opposite. Not like you, you would’ve gotten slightly tense if your mother had arrived home to find the both of you studying. Eddie bickered with his uncle back and forth for a while, teasing and joking between them as you noticed a look in his dark eyes. Eddie’s dark eyes sparkling with something too beautiful and too peaceful. You wondered how close those two were. Sure, Eddie rarely talked about his parents, talked a few things about his uncle, and something you knew to be true was that the old man worked for most of the day, and every so often he had night shifts. But from the way Eddie was looking at him, you could tell Eddie appreciated him far more than he concealed with words.  Your heart melted and wished someone looked at you the way he looked at his uncle, with so much unconditional love. You even wished Eddie looked at you that same way.

“We bought pizza for lunch earlier. There’s still some left in the fridge if you want…” Eddie said as he returned to the living room where you were, looking at him with melting eyes. “What?”

“Nothing,” You purred.

The sweet tone of your voice and the cute smile you gave him made his heart skip a beat and wonder what did he do to get such a reaction from you? He’d do it again.

“Thanks, kiddo” Wayne said opening the fridge. 

“Sure, no problem,” Eddie replied looking back at Wayne as he sat next to you on the couch. 

“Wanna take a break from studying?” You yawned. 

“Oh finally! Yes!” Eddie giggled as you felt his smile warming up your cheeks. 

With every passing day. The friendship seemed to grow stronger and stronger. The two of you becoming two peas of a pod, getting used to each other’s antiques, likes and dislikes. Adapting into a comfortable routine where you spent a considerable amount of time outside of school together. Eventually, you got over your slight fear of rejection, and asked him if you could take pictures of him. His flamboyant and dramatic demeanour allowed you to take great pictures of him.

And since, Eddie became your favourite subject to follow around and photograph. You had gathered a small collection of pictures that looked staged, but in reality, those were Eddie being Eddie. You got a chance to take a picture of Eddie walking over one of the cafeteria tables, staring at everyone from above, like a cat gazing over what was his territory. Eddie playing his guitar at the back of his van with a joint between his lips, Eddie dramatically sitting on the armrest of his famous throne in the classroom they used for Hellfire campaigns, even his DM screen and set up looked fascinating in their own way. 

But your favourite picture was one in which he was doing nothing but relaxing on one of the stone benches outside the school. The both of you were skipping your 7th period of the day on a Friday that was far too close to the summer and graduation. It was hard to concentrate in class by this point, even the teachers were starting to savour the end of the school year. So, skipping a class or two wouldn’t hurt anyone, nor the teachers would care. He was lying on the stone bench. The tree above you keeping the both of you fresh, despite the unbearable heat. His chest rising and falling slowly as you sometimes thought he had fallen asleep, at least until you noticed his foot moving to the rhythm of whatever he was listening to on his Walkman with the headphones on his head. His messy hair spread and falling down the stone bench. His black Dio shirt matching the slightly faded ink in his sun kissed skin. 

You saw the entire scene and quickly pulled your camera, taking a picture. And it wasn’t until you heard the click of your camera that the penny dropped. The sudden rush in your heartbeat when you saw Eddie so relaxed on that bench wasn’t just because you had found a beautiful scene to capture in your camera. You found him beautiful and attractive on his own. But you realised how your crush  on him wasn’t just a crush. A blush spread through your cheeks as you looked up from your camera and stared at Eddie once more, taking in the little details in his face, his neck, his chest, his hands gently resting over his stomach. 

"You good?” His sleepy voice snapped you out of your thoughts. 

“Ah ye-yeah…” You stuttered as you met his eyes briefly and looked away feeling all too flustered. “I took a picture, that’s all…”

“Really?”

“You looked too relaxed…And not threatening nor intimidating at all” you joked as you gazed back at him and watched him crack a smile. 

“Oh no,” He joked. “You better keep that to yourself, people can’t be seeing me being vulnerable” He smirked.

You stared at him with a gentle smile spreading on your face, looking at him with a new found adoration. Something about his comment made your chest warm up. Perhaps that he trusted you enough to admit that he had let his guard down with you around. Or that you kept the picture… most of the pictures you took of him, you’d let him keep them. Just kept a few for your own portfolio for college. 

“Eddie…” You whispered as he looked at you and took off his headphones. 

“Tell me, sweetheart”

“What are you doing after graduation?” You murmured, already knowing he wanted to do something with his music, but never really went into an actual explanation of whatever he planned. If he even was in the first place.

“Finally someone has faith in me!” He said dramatically, referring to his slim chances of passing Ms. O’Donnell’s final. “I don’t know, sweetheart. Perhaps play my guitar somewhere…why?” 

You felt a rather painful squeeze in your chest as you didn’t know how to break the news to him.

“I…got the acceptance letter back from the college…in Indianapolis…” You said without saying anything else, letting him fill in the blanks. 

His eyes widened in surprise as he sat up and fell to the grass in front of you. 

“Oh hey, that’s great, darling!” He said excitedly as he cupped your face in his hands and brought you closer, hugging you. “I told you your little nerdy brain could get anywhere you wanted!” 

“Yeah…Thing is…I,” You stuttered breaking the hug “Well, I also got another one back…From a college I applied to in New York…” 

His smile faded slightly, as he looked at you. Puzzled at first, not believing for a second what he had heard as he thought of the chances of you leaving Indiana to go to a place like New York. Far away from Hawkins. Far away from him.

“New York? That’s far away!” He chuckled awkwardly.

“It is! But my brother is currently there, in law school…So, I told him if I could move in with him in his apartment and he said yes…” You explained, not sure exactly what you were trying to accomplish.

“That is amazing, love…” He whispered looking at you tenderly “I mean, it’s a bit sad that you’re going to leave me but, I’m proud of you, babe…" He said smiling at you, although he felt a sting in his chest. "Come visit from time to time…I’m sure going to miss you as hell…" His voice faded.

You stared into his eyes and smiled. Such a beautiful smile, Eddie thought. A smile he wanted to forever carve in his memory. Against his conscious mind, his arm reached out for you again and brought you close for another hug as you wrapped your arms around him at once and melted against his embrace, taking in the familiar smell of Eddie’s cologne and cigarette smoke.

—

As the summer drew closer, you spent more and more time together. Studying for finals and especially helping Eddie with the classes he struggled with the most. Sometimes at his place. Sometimes at yours. Sometimes it was the school library. And even the back of his van. This was when people started talking the most about the odd closeness the two of you shared. 

Being in the school paper meant you were in a lot of social events, interacted with a lot of people, and being the photographer, people had to be nice to you. You held so much power without realising it, since you could decide which photos to use, and how many times were you willing to take people’s pictures. So everyone in school, if they wanted to look good in the paper, they had to kiss your ass. However, the genuine desire to be nice to you or to ask you to sit with the popular groups wasn’t exactly there. You knew this, but didn’t really give a shit. 

And now the photographer was hanging out with the freak. Not only hanging out. Rumours spread like wildfire after one time someone saw you two at the back of his van, the van parked on a popular viewpoint where normally couples went. However, the both of you were mostly studying with the door wide open. Eddie needed to constantly change locations or else he’d grow bored and restless and studying became impossible. And this viewpoint was your latest idea as you studied. 

But people didn’t know that. 

People simply saw you at the famous viewpoint. The two of you spent several hours there doing god knows what. And the next thing everyone knows is, you’re hugging Eddie, in the middle of the hall as he is spinning on his toes. A truly adorable scene…if it wasn’t the freaks. Or at least many people thought. 

But you didn’t care. You were more focused on celebrating Eddie’s B+ in Mrs. O’Donell’s final. The one class Eddie needed  to pass. And the exam you studied for the most, even to the point of Eddie begging you to study something else. But all the studying had gotten Eddie far more than the D he needed. He had gotten a B+ and he was as ecstatic as you were. Thanking you over and over as he hugged you, spinning on his toes as you clung to him celebrating as well. 

“Eddie! Oh my god! That’s insane! I’m so proud of you!” You giggled as you buried your face in his neck as he spun you around celebrating. 

As he set you down and broke the hug, he dramatically bowed to you. 

“I will forever be in your debt, oh your glorious highnesses” He said, making you giggle. 

“Just buy me lunch sometime and we’ll be even” You giggled.

That night, as he drove you back home at the usual ridiculously early curfew your father set, he parked in front of your house. You’d gone to the arcade and spent the afternoon trying to beat as many high scores as possible, competing between the both of you. And on the ride back home, you found one of the many D20 bouncing around in the cup holder of his van, and grabbed it and played with it in your palm for the entirety of the ride. As you say your goodbyes and as you were about to go inside your house, you stopped on your tracks and hopped back to his van. 

“What’s up?” He asked once you opened the door and you returned the D20 to the cup holder. 

“I was about to kidnap this little guy” You said, making Eddie chuckle as he grabbed it and handed it back to you. 

“No, keep it” He said, smiling softly at you. “Think of this as a piece of me…” 

“Ed–“

“This used to be any other D20, like the other eight I have lying around somewhere in this same van…” He chuckled. “Now it’s yours. Keep it safe for me, yeah?” The smile he gave you was to die for as you rolled your eyes playfully. 

“So dramatic…” You chuckled, as he smirked. 

“A token of my trust, my gratitude, even a piece of my heart of you will,” He joked, playing along and moving his hands in a dramatic gesture. 

“Alright then, Eddie The Freak Munson…” You chuckled. “Good night,” You purred as you leaned forward and kissed his cheek before sprinting out of his van and running towards your house. 

If you had stayed for two more seconds, Eddie would’ve seized his chance and would’ve kissed you right there and then. Although the flip his heart made and excitement rushed through his body, soon he felt the gloom washing over him, reminding him that you had your days in Hawkins jumbered. And with every passing day, you were closer and closer to leaving to New York, making him feel slightly bitter, and even sorry that he didn’t get to meet you before. You had spent almost four years there, and him six, and he had to meet you after you returned from Spring Break. 

Just like every end of term, there was a party where pretty much everyone was invited and everyone attended. Even him, although he went more as a business trip, selling joints and weed to people at the party, and also because you’d told him you were going to be there. However, you were nowhere to be seen yet, and he came across Chrissy Cunningham. The sweet little cheerleader he had the pleasure of making a drug deal shortly before Spring Break. And most likely, the girl to steal his heart if you hadn’t come around exactly two weeks after his drug deal with Chrissy. He had felt that romantic curiosity and attraction towards her when they first talked in the woods, but that was before you came along. However, some sort of residual feelings were still there. 

After you returned from taking a couple of photos of the basketball team, you returned inside the house. Hearing from the team they were trying to cheer Jason up, you wondered what had happened, but not enough to ask. Truth was, you didn’t really care about what  happened with Jason. Since that time he tried to get his way with you and you punched him in the face—which got you into the detention in which you properly met Eddie—, and you thought perhaps Chrissy had opened up her eyes and realised Jason wasn’t the best guy for her. 

But boy, you weren’t actually expecting Chrissy to realise not just that, but seeing her talking to Eddie made something in your heart twist and turn painfully, And the worst part it wasn’t that you were the only one seeing it. People were also talking about how close Eddie was talking to Chrissy. His silhouette towering right next to her, leaning closer to her, talking into her ear. People around you were saying how Chrissy only needed a few hours to get over her breakup with Jason to move on to none other than Eddie, The Freak. Her wide eyes looking at him curiously, as Eddie’s charming smile shone down on her. 

You felt dizzy. You felt nauseous. If it wasn’t for the fact that you hadn’t had a single drop of alcohol yet, you’d perhaps believe you were drunk. Light headed, and suddenly the earth spinning faster than ever, you would’ve believed you were drunk. You hung your camera around your neck and spun on your toes and went to the kitchen to get a drink. 

“So much for a piece of your heart…” You whispered bitterly, as you felt the weight of the D20 in your pocket suddenly weighing fifty times more than it should. 

As you grabbed a can of beer and opened it, you wasted no time and drank half of it in one go, hoping that the bitter and gross taste of beer washed away the bad taste seeing Eddie flirting with Chrissy left in your mouth. 

“Whoa, someone’s here to get wasted!” You recognized Bradley’s voice as you put down the can. 

You stared at him and waved hello. Tall, tanned, charming smile and cheeky eyes looked down at you as you wondered how much could a person change with just an outfit. 

“You look so different without your football uniform…” You said, smiling at him. 

“I look good, though, right?” He smirked as you rolled your eyes sarcastically. 

“You always look good, Brad. Or so all the girls at school say…” You replied, not really meaning anything of what you had said. Sure, Bradley was attractive, but he wasn’t your type by any means.

The rest of your beer soon disappeared. And so did the next two, three cans of beer. And the night became blurry with colours that looked all too saturated. Music seemed to barely last, as you weren’t sure anymore of what was happening. All you knew was that you were trying to forget about the image of Chrissy and Eddie, which was going great at first. Until you caught a glimpse of them making out by a corner of the house. The nausea clung to your throat and your eyes blurred with tears as another two cans of beer made it past your lips as if they were water. As you were actually growing fond of the taste of it, your head didn’t. You danced, you blended in with the popular crowd for the first time in all of your high school years, you swore you kissed lips that tasted like cigarettes and weed, and in a poor taste joke, your mind envisioned Eddie, but only made the ache in your heart worse as you pulled away, only to find Brad holding you by the waist. 

You had gotten drunk before, a few times, but never like this. God, your parents were going to kill you. You were lost. Drowned in alcohol, and yet, the fear of your consequences sobered you enough to make you leave the dance floor and Bradley, telling him you needed some fresh air. Walking out of the house, you dragged your feet, fighting to keep your balance until you made it to the small park across the street and grabbed one of the swing seats and sat down, looking at the ground, feeling your stomach threatening you to barf all the excess beer filling your empty stomach. 

“Shit…” You groaned, as you closed your eyes, resigned that sooner or later it was going to happen. 

As Eddie walked out of the house with a victorious smile and a giggly Chrissy with her arm around his waist and his around her shoulders, they headed to his van. Slightly disappointed that he never got to see you, but at the same time grateful. Things with Chrissy wouldn’t have happened the way they did if you were there. If you’d been there, his attention would’ve been solely on you. 

However, his euphoric little state didn’t last long as he recognized you at the distance, when he opened the copilot seat for Chrissy to get inside. His stomach turned stone cold.

“Shit,” He purred. 

“What’s wrong?” Chrissy asked curiously as she followed his eyes across the street and looked at the park. 

“Give me a minute. Stay in the car, I’ll be back in a bit, yeah?” He purred softly, as he thought about kissing her forehead, but he didn’t. 

He didn’t and he knew why. Eddie watched Chrissy get in the van and he closed the door before jogging across the street and into the park as he walked up to you, calling your name as you flinched and looked up. 

“Oh, shit. Hi…“ You groaned and looked back down. “Hello…”

“You came…” Eddie said confused.

“Yeah. I told you I would…” You sighed as he sat on the swing seat next to yours and rubbed your back. “Ed, I’m so drunk, this is ridiculous…”

“Yeah, I was going to say you stink like the guys who usually watch us play on Tuesdays…” Eddie purred. 

“Ha! That’s a good one…” You purred.

“What happened?” He asked.

“I’m stupid, that’s what happened…” Eddie frowned at the way your voice bitterly spat your reply. 

“Hey, come on, don’t talk like that…” He whispered. “Let’s take you home,”

“N-no…I ca-can’t get home like this…Eddie, please…”

“What do you suggest I do?”

“Oh god, I don’t know…” You sighed deeply. You slid off the swing seat and fell to the grass. “How much of a bad idea is it to stay here?”

“Awful. C’mon…” Eddie said standing up and offering you a helping hand as he took a deep breath. 

“Where are we going?” You muttered as you grabbed his hand and he pulled you up and you clung to him, feeling like the earth was spinning a thousand miles a second. “Oh god…” You muttered. “Sorry…” 

“No, it’s okay…” He whispered. “I’m taking you to my place…” 

Eddie’s plans of taking Chrissy to his place changed as soon as he saw you completely wasted, saying you couldn’t go back home. And he didn’t even feel conflicted about making such a decision. Seeing you like that made his heart break as he knew something had happened for you to end up like that. And in a heartbeat, he made the decision to watch over you rather than getting lucky with Chrissy. As he guided you to his van, he slid open the backseat’s door and guided you inside. 

“Dude, the back seat…?” You asked confused as you looked over and saw Chrissy on the co pilot's seat as she waved shyly at you. “Oh, hi, Chrissy..,” You hiccuped. “What a-are…Oh–, shit, I’m sorry…” you mumbled as your drunken brain managed to put two and two together. “Ah fuck, I’m so sorry. You look very pretty though…Hi Chrissy…” 

As Eddie slid into the driver’s seat, he felt his chest tight at the way you dragged your tongue with every word. Reminding him of how he was making out with another girl who wasn’t the girl he so desperately wanted to kiss. And having both of them there made him tense. 

“I’m so sorry. I couldn’t leave her there…” Eddie muttered slightly embarrassed. “Mind if I drive you home? I need to sober her up before dropping her home…” Eddie lied.

“Oh, don’t worry..,you two are best friends, right?” Chrissy asked.

“God, the best! Eddie is…” you sighed as you lied down. “The absolute best guy you can find…”

Your words only made Eddie’s chest tighter and tighter. Chrissy giggled. 

“Really?” 

“Oh really!” You said sitting up and leaning closer to the front seats. “He’s so fun and chill to hang around…Hella smart even though he says he isn’t…”

“Jesus, you sure are drunk…” Eddie chuckled uncomfortably. 

“No, no…I mean, yeah, I’m drunk. But I mean those things! I mean, I’m drunk, I can’t lie if you ask me anything right now…”

“Honey, you are such a terrible liar, even when sober” Eddie said as you chuckled. 

“Hmm, that’s true…” You whispered and laid back down. “I’m sorry for ruining your night guys…” You whispered, your cheerful voice soon dissipating and lowering. 

“Don’t worry, I actually think it’s very nice that you’re going to watch over her…” Chrissy said. 

“I tell you! Eddie has a heart of gold…” You sighed. 

Eddie looked over at the mirror, looking at you on the passenger's seat. He also felt Chrissy’s sweet stare on him as he felt ashamed to look over at her. 

"I love you, Eds,” You yawned, stretching your hand towards him and gently patted his head, as Chrissy giggled at the cute gesture. Eddie’s throat closed as he clenched his jaw. 

“Me too, dude” He said, biting the tip of his tongue as he didn’t know why he dropped that pet name out of all the things he used to call you. 

Was it because Chrissy was there? He didn’t want to blow off his narrowing chances with Chrissy. And at the same time, he felt like an asshole for doing that to you. Especially in such a vulnerable state, after you just said nice things about him. 

As Chrissy guided him to her place, he parked outside her house and rushed out of the van to open her door for her and walked her to the door. Chrissy stopped and pulled her keys out before swinging on her toes and looked at Eddie with a smile as she stood on her top toes and pecked him. 

“I know this didn’t end like you wanted, but I think it’s very sweet that you take care of her…As you should…” She gave him such a genuine and radiant smile it made Eddie feel guilty. “Someone else would’ve let their friend there if they were on their way to take someone else to their place…” She said, making it clear that she knew where Eddie was going to take her and why. 

“Yeah, well…she’s important to me…” Eddie sighed, his own oversimplification of your friendship hurting him. 

“I can tell. I’m even slightly jealous…I wish I had someone who looked out for me the way you do with her…” Chrissy said, only adding to the piling guilt in his gut. “Anyways, see you on Monday?” 

“Yeah…” He purred. 

“Goodnight, Eddie…” She purred as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and brought him close to her for a slow kiss. 

He groaned softly in surprise as he kissed her back. Her lips suddenly tasted bitter as he placed his hands in her waist. A part of his brain too painfully aware that you were passed out in his van, and another part of his brain imagining he was kissing you instead. 

“Goodnight…” He purred softly as he broke the kiss, his heart beating in his throat making him nauseous.

If you were being honest, the last memory you had from that night was when you first sat down in that swing seat. Everything else that happened afterwards was one big black out. You remembered everything before that point. 

And you spent the entirety of the Sunday in Eddie’s trailer. He watched over you, helped you with your hangover and told you a little bit of what happened after he found you in the swing seat. You called your parents and told them you crashed over at a friends place because your friend was the one passed out drunk and you were going to take care of them. That was Eddie’s idea to keep you off trouble. 

That was such a weird day. 

You told him you saw him and Chrissy kissing. He said he was originally selling her a few joints and one thing left to the other. You didn’t tell him why you had gotten so drunk, you simply said you had hardly eaten that day and that was it. You told him you made out with someone but couldn’t remember who was it, Eddie told you it had been Bradley Walsh. And other than that, you didn’t talk much. 

After a very needed shower, you spent the rest of the day in his bed. The both of you cuddled, napping, your legs tangled or your hands entwined the entire time. The both of you felt oddly hurting, and staying cuddled next to each other was both comforting and torturous. 

Eddie couldn’t stop thinking about how he kissed Chrissy in an attempt to use her as a rebound. He felt grossed out by himself. Only to realize that when put together, he’d choose you a million times. You in the other hand felt insanely guilty. You had made out with Brad because you were being petty and couldn’t stand the sight of Chrissy and Eddie kissing. 

The desire to hold on to each other and kiss each other was growing as the afternoon progressed, making the tension between you two more and more uncomfortable. But neither of you knew, or at least refused to believe, that your feelings for each other weren’t as one sided as you both believed them to be. And at the same time, the fear of actually losing the wonderful friendship you’d found a few months ago would go to waste with a single kiss. And if it didn’t, your departure to New York would definitely break both of your hearts. Either way, not addressing the situation seemed like a far better idea at the moment.

After he drove you home, you only felt your heart breaking further and further. The comfort of being in Eddie’s bed, between his arms, his slow breathing next to yours and his chest next to yours was drifting away with every mile you drove further from the trailer park. And when he walked you to the door, he kissed your forehead.

“Goodnight, love” He purred before he walked back to his van. 

Despite your Sunday with Eddie, you still felt uncomfortable every time you saw Chrissy. Specially when she looked at you, waved, asked how you were doing and if you’d seen Eddie. The fact that she was looking for Eddie made your stomach twist and your appetite got lost completely. 

“He’s perhaps at the usual table of the Hellfire Club?” You wondered. 

And with that, she was gone. You went in about your day and spent some time in the newspaper classroom printing your last photos to get them ready for the last issue of the school year. A few pictures of Eddie were there, only making the uncomfortable hole in your chest ache more. Once you were done, you went to the cafeteria and walked towards your friends in Hellfire, noticing Eddie wasn’t there. 

“Where’s Ed?” You asked in a soft whisper, not sure you wanted to hear the answer. 

"I saw him walking to his usual dealing spot with Cunningham…” Garett said. 

You clenched your jaw and nodded. 

“I see. Well, thanks guys, see you around..,” You sighed and walked away.

Dustin and Mike exchanged concerned stares. Noticing the way your slouched shoulders hid your head. The distant stare, and over all cold behaviour. You were normally so laid back and talkative. This time you simply made a question and with that you were gone. Along with the rumours, everyone was exchanging in the halls about what had happened in Aaron’s party. 

Thinking you and Eddie were more than meant to be, Dustin and Mike did feel worried regarding those rumours. You two were always together, we’re constantly flirty with each other, and suddenly, he was making out with Chrissy and seeing leaving the party with her. And you were seen making out with Brad. What exactly had happened in that party, they didn't know. Eddie too was acting odd that day. Quieter than usual, and he was seen quite a lot with Chrissy. 

After having finished their lunch, they decided to explore the school grounds searching for you. And when they finally did, you were sitting underneath a tree, resting against it, with your eyes closed and a very tired look on your face.

“Excited that you’re finally graduating this Friday?” Dustin asked with a feigned chuckle as you opened your eyes and looked at him. 

“Yeah, I guess…” You muttered smiling at them. 

“I thought you’d be looking a bit happier…” Dustin added. 

“Mind if we sit with you for a bit?” Mike asked, you shrugged and patted the grass next to you. 

“Be my guest, guys…My grass is your grass…” You said with a smile, not reaching your eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Mike asked sitting next to you, bumping his boney shoulder next to yours, you sighed and rested your head against it, closing your eyes, fighting the urge to cry. 

“Life’s scary, Mike…” You sighed. “College is scary, adult life is scary too…” Your voice died out. 

“Are you seriously okay?” Dustin asked sitting in front of you. 

You chuckled bitterly and opened your eyes, revealing your tearful stare to him. 

“No, not really…” 

“What’s the matter?” Dustin asked. 

“You know you can trust us, right? I mean, we’re not the closest of friends but…We do consider you our friend. Everyone at Hellfire…” Mike said looking at you as you lifted your head from his shoulder and cleaned the tears slipping down your face. 

“Thank you. Mike…” You whispered. 

“Did you and Eddie have a fight or something?” Dustin inquired. 

“Why would you assume this has anything to do with Eddie?” You said With a bitter chuckle as your eyes continued to tear up exposing the truth of Dustin’s assumptions.

“You…like him…don’t you?” Dustin guessed.

“What?” You barked.

 “Ah I-I mean…sometimes we had the impression that you…liked him? You know? But I–we know you two are best friends…” Mike quickly intervened. 

Sighing deeply, you let your head fall back against the tree. Your eyes shut closed, as you felt them get even more tearful and several tears even fell down your closed eyes. Mike and Dustin exchanged worried stares, not sure how to help or what to say even. 

“So is it that obvious?” You purred.

“So you…really like him? Like…like him?” Mike asked. 

“Yes, Mike. I like him. A fucking lot, actually…” You hissed, refusing to open your eyes. 

“So…I guess you heard…” Dustin muttered. 

“What exactly?” You whispered, swallowing the knot in your throat. 

“I-I…I bet it’s just some stupid rumor…” Dustin stuttered. “I-I bet it’s…not even real…”

“Cut the chase, Dust…Please”

“Eddie and Chrissy kissed…But…Eddie told us she was trying to get her mind off Jason…they broke up earlier that day…And he said he had seen you with Bradley and…”

“Dustin, if Eddie told you himself then it’s not a rumour…” You snapped, finally opening your eyes and meeting his worried stare. “He kissed Chrissy, big deal. I kissed Brad…We’re both mature enough to deal with it, Dust…”

“Well…it doesn’t seem like it…” He whispered.

“Look, we’re worried because both Eddie and you have been acting weird the entire day. And not just that…When Eddie told us about Brad, he seemed pretty pissed about Brad kissing you…” Mike called your name. “You do realise that Eddie has feelings for you too, right? Of course he’s going to be pi—“

“What did you say?” You cut him off.

“That Eddie has feelings for you?”

“Oh my god, the both of you really are very blind or incredibly stupid,” You frowned at Dustin’s remark. “Eddie has feelings for you. He got mad at Brad for kissing you. It made him jealous which was why he kissed Chrissy!” 

“Did he tell you that?” You asked.

“No, but it’s not hard to deduce, Jesus. Seeing the both of you pinning for each other is actually very painful…” Dustin scoffed. 

The rest of your day at school, Dustin’s words kept circling your mind, dragging you deeper and deeper into the same thought spiral. Although there was something that didn’t add up. You had seen Eddie and Chrissy making out before you even kissed Brad. However, if what Dustin had said was true, then the day you spent hangover at Eddie’s place was nothing but bittersweet torture not only for you but for him too. Thinking you could’ve finally confessed your feelings for him and perhaps make things better. Perhaps, if that had happened, you’d be with him instead of Chrissy. 

An arm around your shoulders snapped you out of your thoughts abruptly as you flinched and looked over your shoulder to find Bradly next to you. 

“Got any plans for today?” Brad asked cheerfully as you glanced over at him “I’ve got to admit, I didn’t expect the little photographer to be such a good kisser…” He purred leaning closer to you.

“Jesus, Brad. Get away from me…I was drunk, I thought you knew how this worked. You make out with someone at a party, you move on” You said gently pushing him away from you.

 “Not every day I get hard from just a kiss” He purred against your ear, making you shiver and glared at him. 

“Gross dude…” You groaned and pushed him away from you once again “Not interested…Sorry”

“Oh seriously, are you still head over heels for that freak! Even after what he did?” He snapped as you stopped dead on your tracks. 

Turning around you glared at him. Not sure as to what he meant exactly.

“He left the party with Chrissy, people saw them making out, and then, they were leaving. Together,” 

You knew Eddie had dropped Chrissy at her place, because you were with them. You had woken up in Eddie’s bedroom, and Eddie had slept in the living room. Sure, Eddie and Chrissy kissed, but nothing else happened between them. At least not that night.

“Fuck off, Brad” You hissed not really caring what he had to say or thing about it as you were ready to leave when he dared to talk again.

 “Seriously, what’s with that guy? Why is suddenly everyone interested in him? He’s poor and a stupid freak who holds satanic cults and thinks he’s better than everyone else—“

“You just resent him because the girl who gave you a boner actually wants him. And apparently now Chrissy Cunningham’s after him too!” You snapped interrupting him as you spun on your toes once more and gave him a cold stare “You’re pathetic, Brad…Like talking shit about my best friend is going to make me suddenly want to sleep with you…Fuck off–“ Brad took two long steps and gripped you by the shoulders, slamming you to the closest lockers as you whined loudly. 

People starting to gather closer as they’d heard the arguing and the yelling, and suddenly the sound of something hitting the lockers caught everyone’s attention even further.

“Listen here you little bitch,” Brad growled, “You’re just as much as a piece of shit as that motherfu–" 

Before you could even register what had happened, Brad fell to the ground. And you understood that the quick flash of silver you’d seen was Eddie’s fist flying towards Brad’s jaw. His left hand, the one covered with the most and biggest rings. Despite Eddie being right handed, of course he was going to throw a punch with his left hand.

“Do not touch her” Eddie threatening with a grim stare, his black eyes looking deadly.

 “Oh, came back to claim what’s yours?” Brad laughed, as Eddie’s eyes darkened and a rather creepy smile spread across his cheeks.

“Fuck off dude. Her not wanting to fuck you it’s not her problem. Most women in this school don’t either” He replied calmly, seeing the way Brad’s smile dissipated. 

“You’re a real piece of shit, you know that?” Brad barked.

“Yeah?” Eddie asked raising an eyebrow, barely caring what Brad had to say about him.

“Kissing another girl when your allegedly best friend is head over heels for you. Enduring that must be painful, doesn’t it?” The jock said, his gaze moving to meet yours.

“Brad, stop” You said in a low voice.

“And not just that," Brad looked back at Eddie “you decided to go after the big fish and kissed none other than Chrissy Fucking Cunningham…Imagine having to compete with someone with her calibre…” Brad said turning to you “that’s rough competition…” 

“I’m sick and tired of your bullshit, Brad.” You snapped, feeling your eyes get teary, as his words had pierced exactly through your insecurities “You’re graduating this week, stop flicking acting like a middle school boy, grow up” You spat sourly and walked out of the circle. 

“I’m not done with you, you little bitch!” Eddie ignored Brad as he followed you, noticing the way you had clenched your jaw and looked down before walking away. “Oh, you are running away too? Fucking cowards, you deserve each other!” Bradley shouted as the two of you walked along the hall with long quick steps.

An uncomfortable buzz in your ears as you bit your lower lip, and took big breaths to keep the tears from spilling. A lump on your throat as you kept circling around what Brad had said, and how true you believed his words to be. Chrissy was perfect. She was cute, nice, laid back, petite, pretty, confident…Many things you could only aspire to be. And considering how high you thought of Eddie, she seemed a lot more deserving of him than you did. And that thought alone crushed your soul.

“Hey, are you alright?” Eddie said managing to get a hold of your arm, as you stopped abruptly and turned around. 

“No, Eddie, I am most definitely not okay” You barked.

“Hey, talk to me–“ 

“Sure, that’s a great idea!” You interrupted him sarcastically, “Okay so, where do I start? I am so deeply in love with my best friend and it’s cliche and stupid. We went to a party, I saw him talk to the most popular and pretty girl in school, but they appeared to be flirting with each other, so I got mad and drunk and made out with the biggest asshole I could find at the party. I did it out of pettiness, but jokes on me because I just embarrassed myself out there because of my funny little revenge…”

Eddie’s eyebrows lifted in concern as his eyes suddenly changed and now looked concerned and confused. 

“People are saying you and Chrissy left together and everyone is assuming the two of you slept together, which I know to be a lie because I was there, I spent the night over at your place and stayed the entire next day getting over my hangover, you watching over me. And correct me if I’m wrong, but we spent the entirety of the afternoon cuddling and holding hands, and I thought perhaps we were going to pretend like the party didn’t happen in the first place! But I get here and everyone is talking about it, Chrissy is looking for you, and people tell me you’re hanging out with her and I can’t help but get jealous, Edward!” 

Now Eddie had an uncomfortable buzz in his ears, and his heart felt heavier. 

“And now Brad is bitter because I don’t want to sleep with him and apparently you’re now popular because Chrissy is interested in you…And I can’t even be mad at you because seriously, Chrissy is such a catch. I’m happy for you…Seriously. You two actually look cute together”

The whole time you’re talking, Eddie could feel his own heart sinking and dropping all the way to the floor. Silent tears escaping your eyes only making him feel guilty. You sounded mad, but he can tell from the look in your eyes you actually felt sad, broken even. And the only one he could point fingers at is at himself. He did this to you. The girl he had been so in love with, not only happened to correspond to his feelings. But he had to find out in the worst way possible. And it was too late to fix it without hurting anyone else in the process. 

And when he watched you turn around and resume your walking, his own heart began to break. 

 “Wait— Sweetheart—“ He began.

“Eddie, stop!” You snapped looking at him. “Leave me alone for a while, okay? I need to think, besides, I have a job interview and I don’t want to show up with my eyes all red and puffy” You said and turned back around, leaving through the door. 

Right, Eddie remembered. You had told him you’d managed to schedule an interview with the photographer at the Hawkins Post and you were going to try and get a job there over the summer to save some money for New York and gather some experience to write down in your curriculum. He had forgotten the interview was today. In a couple of hours specifically. His throat closed even tighter, making it harder for him to breathe. He had told you he was going to take you there himself. Now he guessed he wouldn’t.

As he turned around after you disappeared behind the main door, he found Chrissy. Her big wide eyes looking concerned and worried. 

“I am so, so sorry…” He whispered.

You skipped the last period and left school one hour earlier to be able to cry peacefully on your way back home and get a shower before the interview. Eddie, however, stayed. After the last bell of the day rang, and people were soon escaping the building like it was on fire. Eddie dragged his feet to the Hellfire Club classroom to get some of his things he had there. Being the last week of school, he needed to take everything he wanted to take with him, or else leave it there for the future generations. And he wasn’t sure why he’d gone there in the first place. The things he wanted to keep were usually in his backpack or his van. 

Perhaps he was dreading the walk to his van. He’d normally meet up with you outside his van, and you’d go to grab lunch or something before heading back to his place to waste the afternoon away. But he knew you weren’t going to be there. And suddenly, driving on his own seemed like the last thing he wanted. Sitting in silence with his thoughts…Just no. And even risking seeing Chrissy in the halls. She’d seen everything that happened with Brad. And she was chasing after the both of you when you snapped at Eddie before leaving. He hadn’t talked to Chrissy about it, he simply apologized and left; and even though he knew he needed to, he didn’t feel like doing so right now. His mind was still all over the place.

He kept thinking of Chrissy and you. Sure, before spring break he felt that funny feeling in his gut after he made his drug deal with Chrissy. And he knew she felt it too. What he didn’t expect was meeting you in detention right after the break was over. The same funny feeling in his gut, but this was was different. It was warmer. The instant attraction and chemistry felt like a riptide. He simply met you, and from then on, he was met by some sort of gravitational force pulling him towards you. Becoming close friends in the span of a weeks was something that had never happened to him before. And he doubted it was going to happen to him again.

“Eddie?” Dustin’s voice echoed followed by the creek of the door opening. 

“Henderson, fancy seeing you here, you little dwarf” Eddie said looking at him with a hollow smile.

“How are you?” 

“Nostalgic, really. I’m going to miss Hellfire…” Eddie replied, knowing what Dustin meant but completely avoiding it.

“I mean…I heard what happened…” Dustin muttered as he walked inside the classroom.

“God, people really like to talk about other people’s lives. How boring must their own lives be?” Eddie replied, avoiding the topic. Again.

“I’m sorry for what happened…” Dustin whispered your name, making Eddie’s heart skip a painful beat. “She…I know she means a lot to you…” 

“Dustin, have I not made it clear that I do not wish to talk about this?” He said gently interrupting him as his smile faded and met Dustin’s honey eyes. 

 “Maybe you should, you know? But talk to her...tell her everything, I know you like her as much as she likes you…" Eddie rolled his eyes at Dustin. “And, well, you know her…she’s not exactly the most confident nor popular girl, think how she must feel about this…” Eddie’s heart shrunk 

“So I’m the bad guy now?” Eddie barked defensively.

“What? No! Not at all! This is just a communication problem…you two are best friends, you’ll be able to figure something out…” Dustin quickly added.

“Yeah, well…she’s moving to New York in two months…there’s nothing much I can do…” Eddie scoffed. “We can talk and cry about it, go back to being friends, sure, but then what Henderson? We confess our love for each other and decide to walk into the sunset holding hands and kiss under the moonlight, then what? She moves away and I stay here? You have a girlfriend, Henderson. You know how long distance relationships are hard. And now add that she’s going to go there for college…College and High School are not the same, man” Eddie spat, the tension building in his chest feeling slightly relieved, despite the fact that his eyes were getting tearful. “And I don’t know about you, but I’m someone who needs to be able to hold his girlfriend and kiss her and show her around like a badge of honor—” 

“Then go with her to New York” Dustin interrupted, as Eddie stopped right away and stared at him.

 “What?” 

“You heard me” 

“I can’t just pack up and go to New York…” Eddie chuckled bitterly.

“Why not? You want to make a living out of playing your guitar, don’t you? Don’t you think achieving that in New York might be actually easier than staying in Hawkins?”

Eddie’s mind became blank.

That evening, he climbed the tree next to your house up to your window as he peeked inside and found you sitting in your bed with a bunch of photos spread on your bed. It would’ve been a very cute scene if he hadn’t made you cry earlier and he still felt guilty about it. He tapped gently on the glass breaking you away from your trance as you got out of your bed and went to your window sliding it open.

“What the hell are you doing? You know you can use my door right? My parents love you” You explained.

Eddie’s smile soon dropped into a puzzled face as his eyebrows raised and eyes widened in confusion.

“Wait, really?” 

“Yeah…my dad knows his 9pm curfew is ridiculous, but he actually likes that you respect it and drive me home by 9, even when we stay on the sidewalk hanging out afterwards, even if we stay out there until very late… He appreciates that you do get me home by 9 always…” You chuckled softly as you moved away and let him in.

“Well in that case, next time I decide to visit late at night I will use the door…” He said with a cheeky smile and looked around your room, noticing the little details everywhere, thinking how much your room felt yours.

“Why are you here, Ed?” You whispered awkwardly as Eddie looked at you with tender eyes and a soft smile.

“Just wanted to see my bestie,” He replied with a shrug, managing to make you chuckle lightly and nod.

“Well, here I am” You said walking back to your bed.

“How did the interview go?” He asked as he followed you and gazed at some of the pictures as you picked them up and set them on the side table, making space for him.

“Good, I think. I talked to the photographer and said that he was going to talk to the editor…Kept some of my photos and told me to go on a few trial days next week…” You explained.

“That’s a good sign, right?” Eddie said excitedly as you couldn’t help but smile at him despite the subtle heartache. 

 “Yeah, I think so”

“Congrats” Eddie said pulling you in a genuine and tight hug. 

Wrapping your arms around him, you buried your face in his shoulder. And after a few seconds. you noticed he didn’t back out from the hug. His arms suddenly feeling too warm and soft around you, as his smell pierced through your nose. You could feel something radiating from his body into yours, a warm and comforting sensation that soon made your eyes tearful and heart beat fast. The memories of what had happened in the last days flooded your mind and you sobbed silently, hugging him tighter. 

Eddie felt your shoulders stiffen before you clung to him and he knew immediately what was going on. He kissed your head and burying his face in your hair, taking in the sweet smell of your shampoo. 

“I’m sorry,” He purred. “About earlier…Not my best moment...or the last few days for that matter. The last thing I even wanted to do was hurt you, out of everyone at school, you…” He said breaking the hug and cupping your face in his hands as he wiped away the tears from your cheeks with his thumbs. “You’re the most precious thing that school has, you know?” He whispered as you rolled your eyes playfully, and he chuckled. “I mean it! Sure, Chrissy may be the queen of Hawkins High, and Jason may be the town’s celebrity, but next to you, they seem so small…” He purred. 

“Oh please,” You said as your hands reached his wrists. 

“No, seriously, sweetheart” He whispered smiling and leaning closer to you, bumping his forehead to yours. “You’ve got a heart of gold,” He said, repeating what you had said in your drunken state, words he was positive you didn’t remember. “Until today I never saw you snap at anyone before, you’re always so kind and nice…second, you’re so smart it made me smart…” You giggled looking away as he followed you with his stare “I mean it! You’re the first person who actually succeeded at tutoring me, enough to get a much higher grade than I needed. And out of everyone from the senior year, you got the coolest college opportunity...Seriously…New York? Everyone else is either going to Indianapolis or staying here in Hawkins…You? You’re going to the Big Apple!” 

“Stop!” You giggled, getting flustered. 

“And last but not least, I take pride in being a freak, really, I do. And most of the things I do, I do them to piss people off…But never have I ever felt so contempt of who I am until I realized you genuinely enjoyed who I am…You make me want to become better…That is something completely new to me…" his voice died out calling your name. “You said earlier you were deeply in love with your best friend...Which is perfect for me because I am too, deeply in love with my best friend…So much it hurt and felt hopeless when you told me you were moving to New York, so much I tried to look for something, anything that could help me get over my feelings for you so it wouldn’t hurt as much when you left…” He said, his dark eyes glued to yours as he leaned forward again, his forehead bumping against yours and the tip of his nose brushing yours. “But I ended up hurting you…And trust me, that was the last thing I wanted to do…”

“Ed…” You whispered with your heart climbing all the way to your throat and you closed your eyes. 

Without giving it much of a thought, you leaned forward, pressing your lips to his. His breath hitched, not actually expecting you to be the one who sealed the kiss. He was still contempt and surprised. He kissed you back. His lips locking with yours in what was a shy kiss at first. Your lips infinitely sweeter and softer than Chrissy’s, perfectly molding with his as you quickly stole his breath away. 

He moaned gently against your mouth, making your heart race even further. Your hands grabbed his flannel shirt, slowly climbing up his chest until one of your hands made it to the back of his head, tangling with his messy curly hair as you pulled his closer. 

He took this as his cue to deepen the kiss, a soft groan escaping his throat. Moving closer to him, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, squeezing your chest against him. At once his arms mirrored yours and snaked around you, squeezing you against him, stealing a moan off of you into his mouth, making his blood warm up. His hands slid down your back as you broke the kiss and pulled your legs on top of the bed, breathlessly staring at Eddie. Your heart beating in your throat, as you cupped his face and brought him close for another kiss before he could even say something. 

Kissing you back, he smirked against your lips and moved closer to you. You slowly layer on the bed, pulling him on top of you. Wasting no time, he tried kicking off his boots but struggled. 

“Wait, baby…” He purred sitting on the bed and rushing to take off his boots as you chuckled and sat up, looking at him tenderly.  

After he did, he looked at you and smiled. You noticed the rosy tone in his cheeks, making your heart about to jump out of your chest. 

“Hey…” You purred softly. 

“Hey,” He giggled and climbed back on top of you as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and kissed him. 

He quickly melted into the kiss, leaning down and resting some of his weight on top of you as you welcomed him and wrapped your legs around his narrow waist. Pulling him closer, you moaned shyly upon feeing his hips against yours. 

Your moan echoed in Eddie’s head as he broke the kiss and started kissing your neck. Stretching your neck to grant him better access to your skin, your breath hitched as his warm lips slid down your neck. 

His name escaped your lips, making a shiver run down his spine as he bit your shin, his teeth gently sinking on the base of your neck as another moan, slightly louder, came out of your mouth. His blood rushing everywhere in his body as he smirked. 

“You liked that, babygirl?” He purred, dragging his lips up your neck to your ear.

“Ye-yes…”. You whispered as you felt your own cheeks grow hotter and hotter. 

He bit your neck again, slightly underneath your ear, making you arch your back and grip his hair. The gentle tug made him groan softly as one of his hands slid underneath your shirt. His fingers caressed your hip, not moving much as if waiting for permission. The sweet and needy whimper that came of your mouth soon after was the answer he needed as his hand roamed your body underneath your shirt. Noticing the way your skin got covered in goosebumps and your breath deepened made his pants feel uncomfortably tighter. 

“Talk to me, Princess…” He purred seductively. “Do you like this?” You whined. 

“Ye-yes…” You whispered. “I-I do…”

Amused by your shyness, he pulled back and looked at you attentively, wanting to see the reactions he managed to pull from you. 

“Can I take this off?” He murmured, referring to your shirt.

His gentle voice caressing your ears and making your crotch ache desperately as you nodded and stuttered and affirmative. 

“Only of you take off yours too…” You said. 

“Ah, m’lady wants conditions equality, I can respect that…” He giggled mischievously as he pulled back and took off his red plaid shirt along with his Iron Maiden shirt. 

You could feel your heart beating everywhere in your body as you stared at him. Hypnotized by all of him as you wondered if this was actually happening. After throwing his shirts to your floor, he wasted no time pulling your shirt off of you as his lips quickly attached to your shoulders and chest, his hands idly playing with the straps of your bra, pulling them down your shoulders. 

“You know…Condition equality includes this as well…” He purred as his fingers gently tugged on your bra, making you shiver. 

“Smartass,” You chuckled. 

“I’m just stating the facts, love” He sand as he ran a thumb over your skin, teasing your breast as he followed the cup’s curve, dangerously close to your nipple. “But I’ll wait for Ground Control’s instructions…” He said kissing your chest right underneath your clavicle. 

“Just take the goddamn thing off…” You scoffed as Eddie’s big curious eyes looked at you with fascination. 

“Desperate, are we?” 

“Just a little…” You admitted, feeling the heat rising up as Eddie’s hands snuck behind your back to undo the clip.

“Just a little…” He repeated.

As he let your bra fall off your bed, he wasted no time kissing your skin. Every now and then teasing you with his teeth, sucking on it, making sure he left some sort of evidence of what was going to happen. Always gentle, he noticed the particular shyness with which you reacted to his ministrations. He went slow, learning how to distinguish every sound and movement you made, and trying to learn the unspoken language of your body. 

Always aware that you weren’t perhaps the most experienced in these things, he asked for your permission for everything. If it was okay to touch or kiss somewhere, if he could take your pants off. And the tender and caring manner, along with his big doe eyes, it was impossible to resist him. Your mind spiraling out of control,as you wanted nothing more that to enjoy your night with him. You wanted nothing more than to feel him all around you. 

Once the both of you were completely naked, kissing and tasting each other’s skin, mapping everything little detail in a beautiful lovely memory, and once you’d made your way underneath the covers of your bed, it all felt too intimate. Sure, you were insanely nervous for what was going to happen, but you were also excited for it. 

As Eddie nestled between your legs, his erection gently resting on your belly, throbbing with anticipation, he had you locked in an intoxicating kiss. The heat of his body radiating into yours, as your legs around him kept him close. Hanging from the very last string of his salinity, waiting for your green like to move forward.

You broke the kiss, catching your breath.

"Wa-wait, Ed…” You stuttered shyly.

“What is it, princess?” He murmured pulling back and staring at you.

“There’s something you’ve got to know first…” The words dragging out of your mouth as you felt your cheeks grow hot at the slight embarrassment, Eddie however had been slowly putting the pieces together based on your reactions.

“We don’t have to do this of you don’t want…” He purred kissing your forehead. 

“I-I know…But I do want to…with you…” His heart stopped at the sincere look in your eyes and your words getting stuck in his brain. He smirked.

“Oh baby I’m honored…” He began, his cheeky smirk spreading as his heart almost jumped out of your  “But you know if we do this, we’re gonna have to marry asap and have my kids right? I’m thinking at least four…” He teased, managing to make you giggle.

“Oh shut up, you don’t believe that bullshit…” Eddie laughed at your remark. 

“No, not at all…” He purred as he “But, if we do this…You’ll be mine, and trust me, I don’t give up easily on what’s mine…” His voice grew seductive as he leaned forward and pecked your lips.

“What does that mean?” You giggled.

“I’ll follow you till the end of the world. Or until you tell me to…” He smiled and kissed you slowly, his lips locking with yours as one of his hands slid down your body down to your hips. “If you want me to stop or go slower, just tell me…Tonight everything’s about you, baby” He whispered.

You nodded. 

His hand slid down all the way to your thigh, now going up, closer and closer to your needy hole. His finger ran up and down your wet slick, as he smirked, proud that he had you like that. 

Your breath hitched as he watched your reaction attentively. His thumb circled your clit softly, watching you shit your eyes closed and moan softly, as you pushed your head back. Fascinated, he felt his mouth grow thirsty as he continued staring at you, hypnotized by your reactions. 

“Can I?” He asked, his index finger sliding to your entrance, teasing you, as his finger continued to get more and more covered in your arousal. 

“Please,” You begged. 

His finger very slowly sank inside of you, feeling your tight walls clenching around it, as a soft whimper escaped your throat. He kissed you sweetly, silencing your cry. 

“Silence, baby…You don’t want your parents hearing and walking on us, now do you?” He muttered. 

“N-no…” You stuttered. 

“Does it hurt?” 

“It’s just…weird…” You murmured. 

“It’ll soon feel good, I promise…” He pressed his forehead to yours.

He continued fingering you. Slowly, patiently exploring your velvet walls, once again guided by your reactions as he allowed you to get used to the feeling. Quickening his pace and eventually sliding a second finger in. Your sweet quiet moans fueling him, making him desperate to claim you as his, growing addicted to the beautiful sounds you made and the way you so desperately called his name. He kept going, building up a rhythm you could easily grow used to, until he had you cumming around his fingers. Proud of the mess the made of you, his cramped fingers still buried deep inside you, he took in the gorgeous image of your body slightly shaky and covered in a thin layer of sweat. 

“Fuck, your beautiful…” He purred. 

“Kiss me, Eddie…“ You whined. “Kiss me, please” 

Obediently, he kissed you, swallowing your whines as he could taste the universe in your mouth. His heart full and body hot, he slowly pulled his fingers out, pulling a soft grunt out of you. One he gladly drank from your kiss as well. As the world came back to focus, you clung to him, being painfully away of his length still on your belly. You shivered at the thought of eventually having it inside you. 

“E-Eddie…” You whispered breathless. “I want you” You purred. 

He felt a shiver run down his spine as he smiled and looked at you, his black eyes devouring you with adoration. 

“Your wish is my command, baby…” He muttered as he wasted no time, running his wet fingers over his erection, coating his dick with your arousal and positioning himself against your entrance. 

He looked at you one last time for consent as you gave him a shy nod. And with that, he pushed inside of you. Slowly. Very slowly. A gasp caught in his throat, as your tight walls seemed to squeeze around him, gently sucking him as you covered your own mouth with one of your hands, muffling the moan fighting its way out. Feeling ecstatic, he closed his eyes, enjoying the sweet feeling of your warmth surrounding him as he bottomed out. As he went all in, he looked down, watching his pelvis connecting to yours, getting another shiver down his back. He smirked and leaned down, kissing your cheek. 

“You’re all mine now…” He whispered kissing your jaw as you arched your back, wrapping your arms around him. 

“I’m yours, Eddie…” God, your words made him light headed as he started moving in and out of you, slow at first. 

Eddie, who had a few encounters here and there wasn’t exactly crazy about sex. Sure, he had his kinks and had fun every time he had the chance to have sex, but he wasn’t someone who’s actively go around flirting with people, looking for someone to take back to his bed. But this, with you, oh, he could definitely see himself getting addicted to doing this with you. It was far more than just the sex and the adrenaline running through his veins. It was the intimacy of it. Your body so close to his, your whispers and moans cooing him, the way your touch set him on fire. Sex had never felt this good before. 

His thrusts going deeper and deeper and getting faster and faster, he still remained collected, reminding himself that this was your first time. Besides, he loved attentively watching the way you moved and reacted. The way you opened your mouth and said nonsense with every push. The way your face got all flustered every time he praised you. And god, the way you told him over and over you were his. And only his. His heart beating alongside yours as you both shared this moment, getting drunk and lost in each other, as every piece of your heart was on the table. Caught fire, and skin tingling. It was such an addictive feeling.

What were you doing to him?

Nothing in his life had ever felt so gratifying as that moment right there. And he knew he did not want to let you go. Not when you left to New York, not ever. He would definitely keep his word and follow you to the end of the world. 

Low moans and sweet nothings dissipated in the air, caught between the hungry kisses of two lovers. Their bodies melting together and the pleasure increasing with every second, thirsty for that high at the end of the road. The ecstasy of both of your orgasm condensing slowly. Eddie cumming shortly before you, but not stopping until you were pushed off the edge as well. Blissfully giving in to that relaxing burn and tingling his entire body, washing over him as your walls clenched around him, and he moaned with his face nuzzled against your neck. 

Once the both of you came off your highs, Eddie was still lying on top of you, catching his breath as his entire body melted on top of yours, relaxed, ready to fall asleep for the next several weeks. He hummed softly and kissed your chest.

You stared at Eddie with melting eyes, smiling at the sight of him leaving small pecks all over your skin.  He eventually noticed you staring at him and blushed lightly. 

"What?” He whispered. 

“You meant that?” You asked with a low purr. 

“What exactly?” He hummed slightly sleepy resting his chin over your chest, staring at you with sleepy eyes.

“That you’ll follow me till the end of the world?” He smiled and closed his eyes.

“Definitely” He purred.

“Does that include New York?”  

“Especially New York…” He replied at once.

“Really?” 

“Is it so hard to believe?” He chuckled softly “I don’t think I ever felt like this about someone…Not to sound like a slut, but I’ve had my fair share of flash romances and one night stands, and none of them sparked in me whatever it is you did…” He said as you stared at him, and ran a finger through his hair, brushing a misplaced strand of hair off his face, “I’d never felt so scared of losing someone…I do want to be with you…whether if it’s here, or in New York…if you tell me you want to pack up and go walking to Argentina, I’ll go too…” 

You smiled, considering his words, biting your lower lip.

“That actually sounds like a good idea…” You said.

“Argentina?” 

“A sabbatical year before college…Perhaps not spend the entire year but…working and saving up money for six months, and then go to Argentina…” You wondered, as Eddie’s smile spread.

“Can we take a small detour to Brazil?” You giggled at his proposal.

“We can go anywhere…” You replied, noticing the dumbfounded smile he was giving you “What?” You asked.

“I seriously am in love with you…” He sighed lifting himself up on his elbows “I know, it’s cringy, saying this right after we had sex for the first time but…” He chuckled at his own comment “I’ve had feelings for you for some time now…” 

“How long?” You murmured curiously.

“I always found you pretty, but since you were often hanging around all sorts of popular crowds, I didn’t really feel like approaching you…” He began “After we met, boy, I wish I had talked to you earlier. You’re nothing like them and you’re far cooler than anyone else in that school…I was smitten after that time we went to have Chinese? Do you remember?” 

“That was literally the week after the detention thing” 

“Exactly!” Eddie said gawking “And when you showed me your portfolio that same day with all your favorite pictures, man, I felt like I’d jumped down a cliff and fell on my face” You blushed.

“Since then?” You giggled. 

“I’m pathetic, I know…” He chuckled. 

“No, you’re not…” You kissed his cheek. “For me it was when you introduced me to your uncle…” 

“What?” You giggled at his confused reaction.

“Yeah…You know you look at him in a very particular way?” Eddie raised an eyebrow.

“Really?” 

“Like you’re immensely grateful to him…And like you genuinely care for him, I saw that look and thought ‘Man, I wish someone ever looked at me that way…’” 

“Yeah well,” Eddie chuckled, blushing lightly “He took me in after my asshole dad ended in prison…I knew having to watch over me and practically raise me was rough for him, I was a kid but I wasn’t stupid, I saw it was hard for him in the begining, and I felt like a burden, but he never complained, though…” Eddie sighed as his eyes suddenly got lost in the distance as he recalled his childhood memories “He never got mad, he was always nice and gentle with me…” Eddie chuckled meeting your stare again “He bought me my first guitar and signed me up for classes after he once found me playing with a broom, pretending it was a guitar while I jammed to Pink Floyd…” 

“That’s cute…” You whispered smiling, feeling a gentle squeeze in your chest upon seeing that sweet spark in Eddie’s eyes. 

“I owe everything to that old man…” He sighed deeply “Specially now because, thanks to him, the girl of my dreams loves me back” He smirked.

 Giggling, you cupped his face and pulled him in for a small peck.

“Thank you for helping me sneak out of detention…” You whispered.

“You’re very welcome, love” He smirked. 

~~~~~~

I hope you liked this one! Please make sure to leave a like, a comment or a reblog, help spread my work please! I also have a few more (considerably shorter) Eddie fics and a few fic recs in my blog if you're interested!

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson smut #eddie fanfic #stranger things x reader #stranger things eddie munson

[zelda-photography]

TOTK Trailer 3 Analysis

Alright, let's do this. There was a whole lot in this trailer, and just so you know i'm not going to be dissecting every second or everything that made me go 'oh cool!' Like, the rocket is way cool but I won't be providing a picture. Anyway, without further ado, here we go!

I really liked seeing the little robot guys doing stuff on the island, especially this little one fending off a chuchu :D I think it adds a lot to the understanding of the role of these robots

Not sure what's up with all the mushroom stuff but I love it! I like seeing that the villages are going to be changed :D

Yay, settlements! People trying to move into this area! A shame that the castle is gone now. I also really like the birds on the old fountains.

Big round rock is very interesting. It reminds me of the speed boost things in skyward sword, so that's my theory on what this one does.

Big thing rising from the Gerudo desert. It's probably going to end up just being Ganondorf's castle, but I really hope it's Arbiter's Grounds because that place horrifies and fascinates me.

Presumably a back shot of Ganondorf, and I gotta say I love his hair all glowing and crazy like that. He seems to be watching something explode, but I'm not sure what? Baby theory with the only proof of 'idk it'd make a modicum of sense', maybe it's the great plateau he's destroying?

Putting these two together since they seem to go together - ways to get below ground? Very interesting. Not psyched about having to wear the lame lava armor again, though. (and when I say go together, I realize this is probably an underground cavern in the Eldin area and not in Lanayru)

Flying ship flying ship let's go!!! Looks way cool and makes me wonder who is manning it. Robots? Monsters? The Zonai???

Floating balls of water are cool, but more than anything make me wonder if there will be a better swimming mechanic, maybe even diving?

Mostly took this picture because I like the red bird outfit Link is wearing. Presumably it'll slow his fall more than other clothes, but I also like the reference to the crimson loftwing.

Finally, the being we've been seeing on the wall carvings and ruins. What's her deal? Is this what all Zonai look like? She looks rad that's for sure. I've heard some people say she looks like a lizard, but personally I think she looks more like the three dragons.

At first, this is kind of a boring shot, until I remembered that Hyrule castle probably was very much destroyed in the final battle of BotW. Was it repaired? By the little magic sparkles around, I'd guess either Zelda is repairing it with magic, or this is some kind of memory.

Finally, the girl. Strange dais she's standing in front of, I'm so worried for her.

The Baby! Teba really said 'I'm too old for this shit' and is having his baby fill in for him! Rip Teba you were, well, a normal guy opposed to all the other champions. Here's to your cool kiddo.

I think I said this in my analysis of the last trailer, that I thought Link's vehicles would be able to transport Hylians, and I feel soooo vindicated right now! Yes, helping the citizens! I love it!

This is ridiculous and I love it. Just us with our dumb machine against a bunch of monsters. Reminds me of that woodcutting machine from beauty and the beast, I think because of the little arm making kind of chopping motions

BIG FUCKING MONSTER ATTACKING THE LITTLE BABY! I'M SO EXCITED FOR BOSS BATTLES NOW!

No idea what the little magatama is still other than 'probably what they mean when they say tears'

I have mixed opinions on ganondorf's design, but overall I think I like it :) He's green still, which is a little weird, but I guess he is technically a zombie, and damn did he rehydrate well.

Putting these two together to make a point (may also make it it's own post too) that I think Zelda isn't just wearing the above woman's outfit, I think the above woman is Zelda, the one from 1000 years ago. (I'll also mention now that what if the male voice talking to Zelda is some version of Ganondorf?)

At one point I was going to make a video about TotK theories, and one involved getting to fight with civilians. It was more of an escort idea in there, but hey, still looks exciting! I love all these people who are stepping up to the plate and aren't just going to let another calamity hit them!

Riju haircut! Sidon is King! Kind of weird that we say three of the four races, really hoping the gorons are doing okay. I'm really excited to see how the powers and strengths of the allies have evolved. From the footage, you already get the idea that Riju has started to use Urbosa's lightning powers.

Gleeok! We've all seen him coming, but hey, he's officially here! That's pretty rad!

Hard to see, but we're getting more of the wall mural thing, this time featuring ganondorf. I hope this thing will be, like, a physical thing in game so we can look at the whole thing.

And finally Zelda. My bets are that she's a) going to be found sleeping on that thing, very similar to Zelda 2's ending or that b) she's going to end up being sacrificed on it :(

#loz #legend of zelda #totk #tears of the kingdom #totk spoilers

[sableu]

Ah… I just wanted to say that I resonate with so many of your sabo takes… My eyes are all watery because I feel like you really understand Sabo’s character in a way that I feel like most other people dont take the time to properly investigate and appreciate. I feel like I’m always a little bit angry with how split the fandom is on Sabo, how trapped people are in Ace’s visage that they can’t even acknowledge how amazingly stunning Sabo is! I just want to say, thank you so so much for all your posts over the years rambling on and on about this one character, I’m so pleased to find such an eloquently well spoken sabo appreciator- reading through many of your Sabo discussions both gave me needed validations towards my feelings and emotions about him as well as deeper insights that I never would have uncovered on my own ; - ;

Ahhhhh seriously thank you so much for loving him for so long with so much heart, it seriously warms my soul to see so much love poured out for this character that I also love!!! I pray that we keep getting more and more sabo appearances in the future to fuel our sabo agendas 🎉🎊

ahhhh man, thank you so much!!!! i've drawn art, written fics and made gifs for this fandom many times over the past ten years (...holy shit, has it really been ten years?) but when i think about it, the meta posts i've written about sabo are still some of my favorite things i've created for OP.

i've been here in the trenches since sabo was first re-introduced to the series in 2013, and it pains me to this day when i see people try to water him down to just a pretty boy or fanservice or ace 2.0, all while devaluing what an interesting and unique character he is in his own right with a very important role in the story completely separate to his brothers.

i know i haven't been that active on here recently (i now live alone in a big ole city and have a full time job and a girlfriend :3 so real life has gotten in the way) but rest assured i have felt so vindicated and validated by everything we've seen from sabo in recent chapters.

he's a revolutionary. he's a freedom fighter. he's willing to be branded a murderer if it helps his cause. he faced off against the highest power in the entire one piece world and he survived.

he's so, so interesting and powerful and intelligent and i'm so happy to have a character like him in a manga like one piece, where the corruption goes to the very top--someone whose goal, unlike almost every other character in the series, is to intentionally and systemically burn the whole corrupt government to the ground.

the world government and the gorosei and the celestial dragons are the true villains of one piece, and sabo has been defying them from the very beginning. he's not a D. he's not predestined to anything. he's going to change the world not because it's his birthright, but because it's the right thing to do to protect innocent civilians and give them their freedom.

and that's why i love him ❤️

#asks #loopeyfluff #this reminds me that i've always intended to get a sabo/rev army tattoo #but now that i have three tattoos that reality actually feels realistic and achievable #...someone give me ideas for a sabo tattoo #i might just get the rev army flag symbol on my ankle #but that seems boring idk

[xiaq]

If it’s not too intrusive a question, how did you and B meet/get together? You guys are so cute!

We met rock climbing! Our mutual friend G introduced us. I went climbing nearly every weekend with G through undergrad and kept in touch once I left Austin for grad school. I'd come back once a month or so to see my parents/friends and on one of those trips back, about 2 years into grad school, I went climbing with G and B was there. So then I started to see B every month or so whenever I'd visit and we'd climb. I had a little crush on him from the start.

I took this picture of him the first day we met, so you can see I was already to the "distracted from photographing the people climbing because this man is so Pretty" phase of infatuation.

And then he had the audacity to go swimming and look pensive.

So that continued on for a while and I never got the slightest indication he was interested in me. I moved back to Austin when Covid hit and we were part of a small group that isolated together--climbing and hiking and playing D&D. And I really got to know him as a person which made things 100x worse. I thought maybe there was something between us, but I was leaving and didn't have the confidence to say anything.

So I moved to Colorado and we stayed in touch and eight months later, he visited me and helped me pack up to head back to Austin.

The day I moved back, he invited me over to dinner, and the day after we went hiking which turned into dinner, and then the day after we went to barton springs and stayed up until midnight talking and then after a week of seeing each other every day (and getting very little unpacking done) he told me he'd been interested in me for years and asked how I felt about us dating and I said I felt pretty ok about it and a few weeks later I more or less moved in with him and we've been deliriously happy ever since.

#10/10 do recommend dating your friends #b #love #ew #mylife #answered asks

[stargazer-sims]

Epilogue (Journal Entry #62)

Postscript (Journal Entry #61) // STORY INDEX

Victor

I have everything I've ever wanted.

Not many people can say that, and I feel exceptionally privileged to be among the lucky few.

I know we said we weren't going to use our journal any more, but earlier tonight as I was packing up for our flight home, I was struck by the feeling that I needed to record one last entry. To be honest, I haven't even thought about our journal in over six months, not since our anniversary trip to Sulani, but I remembered something Yuri said to me during our visit to the islands and I kinda wanted to share my feelings.

He asked me if I'd ever felt like I was exactly where I was supposed to be in life. At the time, I’d said no. I told him I wasn't there yet because there were still things I wanted.

The funny part is, I just realized today that I'd misunderstood the question. I thought he'd been talking about tangible, definable things like good health, a nice home, a job, or the support of family. And yeah, maybe that was part of it, but what I think he really meant was something less easy to measure; confidence, self-worth, happiness, and the knowledge that we really do have an impact on the world and the people around us.

I should have said yes. Sitting there on the balcony of our Sulani rental cottage, gazing at the sea with my brave, beautiful, intelligent husband by my side, I could easily have said I had it all. I was happy, secure and loved, and everything seemed perfect. But, unfortunately, I hadn’t viewed the question that way because my mind had been on all the things I still wanted to accomplish, such as going to university, finding a new job, and of course getting back to competing in my sport.

Now I have all those things too, and more besides. If you've got a minute to stay and listen, I'll tell you all about it.

Maybe I should've mentioned from the start that we're currently in Switzerland, 'cause it probably isn't obvious from the inside of this hotel room. Like, it's an upscale hotel, but it's pretty generic as far as hotels go and I don't think there's anything particularly Swiss about it.

We've been here for the past week, for the FIS World Snowboarding Championship, and let me just say, it's been an absolute whirlwind of travel, activity and excitement. Tonight's been the first opportunity I've had to stop and process it all, and I think I'm going to need a while for some of it to fully sink in.

As you guys already know, last season ended catastrophically for me, but it wasn't as epic a disaster as I initially imagined. I was doing really well up until my accident, with top-three finishes in a handful of qualifying competitions. As it turned out, my wins from last season plus my wins from this current season were enough to qualify me for two events at Worlds this year, super-G and my best event, parallel giant slalom. I may have mentioned it before, but the world championship competition for snowboarding is held every second year, so if you’re confused about why last year’s points counted, that’s why.

I was thrilled about qualifying, needless to tell you, and so was Davey, my coach. I've qualified for Worlds twice before, but didn't do as well as I'd hoped on either attempt. This time, I was confident going into it, and I was ready physically as well as psychologically.

That's not to say I wasn't nervous. I think a person would have to be crazy not to be at least a little nervous about hurtling down the side of a mountain at seventy-five kilometres per hour with nothing but a helmet, wrist guards, and the grace of the Watcher to protect them. But, alpine snowboarding isn't a sport for people who don't know how to conquer their fear. Out there on the mountain, fear could literally kill you. Any kind of distraction could, and every time I think about my crash last January I'm reminded of that, and of how lucky I am to be back on my board and still able to compete at this level.

Anyway, seven days ago me and Yuri boarded a plane for Switzerland along with Davey, his partner Lindsey, and their sign language interpreter Kayley. Having travelled with Davey before, I knew what to expect, but I think it was jarring for Yuri. Davey and Lindsey are both super loud, and it's not entirely because they're deaf and can't hear themselves properly. They're just... extreme. Like, they bring the party with them wherever they go and it’s never a quiet affair.

By the time we reached our destination, all Yuri wanted to do was hide in our hotel room. He said he'd had enough of interacting with other people, and told me that he wouldn't mind if I wanted to go hang out with some of the other athletes on my own. I decided to stay with him because my first event was on the following afternoon, and I like to get lots of rest the day before I compete. As much as I enjoy a good social gathering, I didn't want to break my ritual. Athletes can be superstitious, and it'd be silly to try convincing you I'm an exception.

So, you're wondering how I did in that first event, right? I came in third, which earned me a bronze medal. That was the highest I'd ever placed at any event at Worlds, and even if I didn't win anything else, I would've been totally satisfied with that.

But, there was still my second event. In the middle of the week, I made it through the elimination races, and the final for the men's parallel giant slalom was yesterday morning.

I woke up early, too excited and full of adrenaline to sleep as much as I should have. I slipped out of bed and headed for the shower, trying not to wake Yuri as I went. My efforts were in vain, however. I was only in the bathroom for about ten minutes, and when I exited it, I saw a very sleepy-looking Yuri sitting up in bed and talking on the phone to somebody. The second thing I noticed was that he had my phone.

"Yes, I want to tell him, but I'm not sure that's a good idea right before his event," Yuri was saying. He was speaking English. "Maybe we can call you after—"

"Who are you talking to?" I asked.

Yuri looked up, clearly startled. "Oh! Victor, I didn't hear you coming out. It... it's your mother. I'm sorry. I saw the caller ID, and I decided I'd better answer it."

"It's okay," I said. "Can you put it on speaker?"

He lowered the phone from his face and touched the speaker button as I flopped onto the bed next to him. "You're on speaker now, Dr. Grace," he said. "Victor's right here."

"Hi Mom," I said. "What's up? Everything okay? It's like, the literal middle of the night where you are, isn't it?"

"Yes," Mom said. "I think you're five hours ahead of us."

I glanced at the time display on the top of my phone screen. "Mom! It's one-thirty in the morning over there! Why aren't you in bed?"

My mother laughed. "Excuse me, sir. Which one of us is the parent in this relationship?"

"Sorry," I said, but I was relieved she sounded so upbeat. I told myself that her reason for phoning couldn't be anything too bad, or she wouldn't be joking with me. "Seriously, what's up?"

"I checked your mailbox after work today. You got a letter from the university."

"Really? What does it say?"

"I wasn't about to open your mail, was I?" she said. "But, I knew you'd want to know straight away."

"And you waited until it was morning here, so you could tell me as soon as possible?" I met Yuri's gaze. "And you didn't want her to tell me before my event."

"I didn't want you to get distracted," he said. "I thought it'd be better to wait until later."

"I guess I can't get mad about that," I conceded. "I mean, it makes sense, and I'm glad you were looking out for me, but now I'm going to be distracted if I don't know what it says."

"What if it's not good news?" Yuri asked.

"Either way," I said.

"I have the letter," Mom said. "Do you want me to open it and read it to you?"

"Yes, please."

We could hear her opening the envelope. Yuri reached for my hand.

The university's application deadline for the nursing program had been the first of November, and I'd gotten everything submitted on time. According to the admissions website, applications would have one of three decision statuses — rejected, accepted or waitlisted — and decision letters would start going out around the end of March or beginning of April.

Now, here we were at the very end of March, and we'd arrived at the proverbial moment of truth.

"Okay," Mom said. "Are you ready?"

I nodded, mostly because I was too worked up to speak, and Yuri said, "He's ready."

"Dear Mr. Okamoto-Nelson," my mom read. "After a careful review of your application, we are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into the Bachelor of Nursing program. We will be pleased to welcome you as a new student in the fall semester."

There was more, but I didn't take in anything after the first couple sentences. Yuri flung himself into my arms with a little cry of joy, and we nearly rolled off the bed in our excitement. Poor Mom was trying to explain something about registration fees and student health insurance, but we weren't paying attention.

When we finally composed ourselves, I apologized and asked Mom to keep the letter for me until we got home. I knew there would be things to do and deadlines to have them done by, but at that moment, the competition was priority one. I couldn't lose sight of why I was here in the mountains of Switzerland. As overjoyed as I was about the news that I'd gotten accepted into nursing school, I couldn't let it take my focus away from what I was doing today, not so much because I wanted to win, but because of what I said before. Distractions can be deadly.

"I'll let you go for now," Mom said. "You can call me later and let me know how the competition went."

"We'll definitely call you," I said.

"I'll be looking forward to it. Good luck, and be safe."

I thanked her, and then we said goodbye and hung up. It took me a while to calm down after that, and Yuri had to help me do some concentration exercises.

Once I sorted myself out and we were both dressed and ready, we met Davey, Lindsey and Kayley for breakfast. After that, Yuri and I went back to our room to collect Elsa and the rest of my gear, and then we all headed to the venue.

When we got there, I tried not to look around too much, but it was hard to ignore the huge crowd that had already gathered to watch the competition. We hadn't even started yet, and people were already cheering, using noisemakers, and waving flags of various countries. I think the flags were mostly Swiss, but I spotted lots of others. There were even a few Canadian red maple leaves among them.

It was obvious that even with the help of his hearing aids, Davey was struggling to hear amid the ambient noise from so many people. I was the one competing, but he looked extraordinarily stressed. I was sure it was the confusing jumble of sounds that was upsetting him more than thoughts of the competition though, and I couldn't help wondering how he coped with it when he was still a competitor himself.

I soon found out. Lindsey poked him to get his attention, and then signed something to him. He grinned at her before deftly tugging his hearing aids out and putting them in the front pocket of his coat.

He gave us the thumbs-up, and then practically yelled, "Yes! Sweet silence!"

I lost it.

Laughter did the trick. I instantly felt more relaxed, and although I knew Davey hadn't been trying to be funny on purpose, I still offered him one of the few ASL signs I know. "Thank you."

He signed something to Kayley, and she told me, "He says you're welcome, and also he's going to leave his hearing aids in his pocket. I'll come up to the top of the run to help you." She paused while Davey signed something else. "Because he wants to give you the best damn pep talk ever."

"Sounds good," I said, and when Kayley interpreted that for Davey, it was his turn to laugh.

"Okay, my dude, let's get up there!" he said loudly. "You're gonna crush it!"

"Here's hoping," I said.

I turned to Yuri, and just like at every competition he attends with me, he put my helmet on me. He stood on tiptoe to give me a kiss, and then while our heads were still close together, he whispered. "I love you."

My heart was full with that simple phrase all the way up the mountain, but at the top of the run, it was a different story. I don't know if you've ever heard athletes or performers talk about being in the zone, but it's like this intense state of hyper-focus where nothing exists except the task in front of you. I don't experience it every single time I compete, but most of the time I do, and this morning I was totally in the zone.

I was in the middle of the start order, and there were about eight riders ahead of me. When it was my turn, there was nothing in my mind except the mountain and the snow and the course of red and blue flags stretching out in front of me. I was aware of every muscle in my body and every breath and each beat of my heart. I snapped my boots into Elsa's bindings, and waited for the starting buzzer.

I barely remember the run itself. All I know is, it was fast. Elsa and I were flying, and it felt glorious.

I didn't even realize I'd won until Davey found me later at the bottom of the run. He was screaming in my face about a record-breaking time, and I honestly wasn't sure if he was talking about me or somebody else.

In fact, the reality of my victory didn't truly hit me until the event was over, and Davey was dragging me towards the area where the medal presentation was taking place. They presented the bronze medal to a Swiss rider, and the hometown crowd cheered their hearts out for him, so much so that we could barely hear the recorded national anthem playing as the FIS official placed the medal around his neck. A Norwegian guy won silver, and he got a pretty healthy cheer from the supporters too.

Then, over the slightly crackly public address system, I heard. "And now, the presentation of the gold medal. Please congratulate your FIS World Champion in men's parallel giant slalom. Representing Canada... Victor Okamoto-Nelson!"

For a second or two, I didn't move. Davey nudged my shoulder and urged me forward with a not-so-subtle, "Dude, go!"

I was simultaneously crying and smiling when the official put the medal around my neck. As O Canada played on the speakers, I searched the crowd for Yuri. He was right there in front with Lindsey beside him, and they were holding up a huge Canadian flag between them. I have no idea where they’d gotten it from, but the sight of it and Yuri's brilliant smile ensured that the happy tears didn't stop running down my face until well after the anthem finished playing.

The only way I can describe it is: Best. Day. Ever.

As I was putting my stuff in my suitcase this evening, I kept glancing over at my medals on the nightstand. They were going in mine and Yuri's shared carry-on bag, and I wanted them to be the last things I packed. Not gonna lie, I was tempted to leave them there on the bedside table until morning so I could see them when I woke up, but I ultimately decided not to do that. There'd be plenty of time to admire them when we got home.

After I finished packing, I picked Elsa up from the floor and placed her on the bed. Yuri never used to like it when I put my snowboard on the furniture, especially the bed, but he seemed to change his mind about it after my accident last year. I lay down next to my board and rested my hand on her. Her smooth surface was cool against my palm, and her bright blue and yellow paint job stood out in contrast against the muted beige of the hotel bed's duvet.

"We did it, Elsa," I said aloud. "Sometimes dreams really do come true."

That's how Yuri found me several minutes later when he'd finished enjoying his bath, lying curled on my side and idly stroking my snowboard. I must've looked ridiculous, but he didn't say anything about it. He just climbed onto the enormous bed with me. Wrapped in one of the hotel's luxurious bathrobes and smelling of chocolate from the fancy hotel shampoo, his presence was warm and sweet.

He cuddled against my back and slid an arm over me, trying to be the big spoon despite his tiny size. His voice was soft, "Are you all right?"

"Yeah," I said. "Just thinking."

"Anything you want to share?"

"I'm going to nursing school."

"You are," he agreed.

"I won a gold medal. A World Championship gold medal."

"You did," he acknowledged. "And a bronze one."

"Yeah." I closed my eyes and let myself soak in the comforting feeling of his little body pressed close to mine. "You know what's weird?"

"What?" he said.

"I'm happy about it and I'm proud of myself, but like... I don't know if it's the medals that're important, or something else."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"You wanted to know what I was thinking about," I said. "I was thinking about Sulani, and how you asked me if I ever had the feeling of having everything I ever wanted."

"I remember."

"I said I didn't, but I think I missed the point of what you were asking."

"Oh?"

"You weren't talking about things, were you? Like going on a trip or getting accepted at university or winning a medal."

"No, I suppose I wasn't," he said. "It was more abstract than that."

"I get it now," I said. "It's not about doing stuff or getting something. It really is more abstract than that. It's like, being satisfied with where you are and with what you've accomplished so far, and just... being content with your life and the way the people around you make you feel."

"Yes," he said. "That's what I meant. I felt that in Sulani. I feel it right this minute."

"Me too," I said. "I felt that way in Sulani too. I'm sorry I didn't understand."

"It's all right," he said. "I'm glad you understand now."

I do get it now, and maybe it's gonna sound strange to say that it took me winning the most important competition of my athletic career to figure it out, but there it is. I'm thrilled about the medals and I can't wait to show them off, but they're not what I value the most. My biggest source of pride is in the fact that I battled my way back from one of the lowest points in my existence to make it to this place. Last January, I thought life as I'd known it was over. For a while, I lost sight of everything; my goals, my hopes and dreams, and even my will to go on. Yet here I am today, a world champion.

A world champion.

And I couldn't have done it without Yuri or my mom and Julian. I couldn't have done it without Sakura, Davey, and all the other friends and family members who love and support me and who never gave up on me. I'm a champion thanks to them, but more importantly I'm happy and I know that I'm valued, safe and loved.

So yeah... I have it all, and I know I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.

#writing #victorsworldadventures #victor nelson #yuri okamoto #stargazersims

[grizzlyofthesea]

My FNAF Movie Experience

I was so excited to see the FNAF movie on opening night. I had my mom with me, we had our snacks, and of course, my costume:

I'd been waiting for this for over 8 years. The hype was real--and not just for me. I only saw one other person in full costume (dressed as Afton), but plenty of others brought their plushies and wore their best merch.

Did the movie live up to this massive anticipation?

For me, yes. It has flaws, but as a tribute to the FNAF fanbase, I adore it.

LOTS OF SPOILERS BELOW. PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK.

There were so many nods to the fandom. Here are the ones I can remember off the top of my head:

Dream Theory appearing as a book Mike reads

Chica's Magic Rainbow being the mascot/logo of an ice cream place at the mall

The Balloon Boy jumpscares. Annoying (but surprisingly effective) every time, just like the real BB.

Afton (as Steve) over the phone telling Mike, "See you on the flipside," referencing the "Phone Guy is Purple Guy" theory

Sparky/Fetch appearing as a spare suit

CoryxKenshin making a cameo as the taxi driver (My theater FREAKED OUT at this.)

Matpat making a cameo as the waiter at the diner, even saying his famous line, "But hey, that's just a theory." (Again, the audience was very pleased.)

The aforementioned diner being called Sparky's

TLT's FNAF song playing during the end credits

The animatronics were, of course, stunning. I mean, it's the Jim Henson company. Of course they were going to be awesome. (Oh, and Bonnie gets a plaid tie instead of just plain red. Adorable.) The actors inside the costumes did really well, too, mimicking their slow, deliberate, robotic movements. Except Foxy. He wasn't played by a suit actor at all, probably because of his skinny legs. So for that, massive props to the puppeteers. Oh, and his little "dum diddly dum" song? Kellen Goff sings it here. Amazing work from Mr. Goff as always.

I know some people were disappointed by the lack of on-screen gore, but honestly, I like how the violence was handled. FNAF has always been relatively blood-free, so it's only fitting. And honestly? That silhouette of Freddy biting Max in half was chilling, and I think it wouldn't have been nearly as good if we had seen it in full.

The horror as a whole was on the tame side, but it was still enough to spook my mom. Take that for what you will.

The Balloon Boy jumpscares were hilarious. So was Mr. Cupcake. The fact that Mr. Cupcake was the biggest threat out of the main animatronics was kind of awesome. Goofy? Heck yeah. But it's so silly that, at least for me, it loops back to being awesome.

Mike and Abby had an adorable sibling dynamic, and I am SO GLAD that Vanessa didn't end up as a love interest for Mike. Mike communicating with the children's spirits and taking damage from them through his dreams isn't something I expected, but I found it interesting. The Golden Freddy kid being the de facto leader of the missing children (and a manipulative little troll) was very fitting, too.

Art, specifically children's drawings, was a notable focus of the movie; the drawings seemed to symbolize communication, imagination, and escapism. I thought this was a creative way to incorporate the children's drawings that we've seen in the background since the first FNAF game.

Matthew Lillard as William Afton/Spring Bonnie/Springtrap doesn't get enough screentime, but he absolutely kills it when he's in the spotlight. I just wish there was more of him. Same goes for the animatronics.

Overall, while this isn't a perfect film, I love it so, so much. I can't wait to see what the future holds in terms of sequels, too; at the very end of the credits, "My Grandfather's Clock" plays, and a Speak 'n' Spell spells out "C O M E F I N D M E." FNAF 2 and the Puppet are at the very least being teased!

#fnaf #fnaf movie #five nights at freddy's #five nights at freddy's movie #halloween costumes #cosplay #freddy fazbear #fnaf pole bear freddy #fnaf pole bear

[captainderyn]

31, 40, 48, and 50 as an optional bonus from the OC asks

Thank you for the asks <3

--

31. Pick one OC of yours and explain waht their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything)

I'm trying to think which of my idiots would be the most tumblr-bound lol out of my current OCs. V would run a helluva shitpost blog. Like you know the Heritage Post level shitposts? That is absolutely something she would be fantastic at. But she'd constantly be night blogging: "V, why are you posting at 3:43am?" "Don't worry about it".

Era, on a completely different note, if she was given the time would have a beautifully formatted, gorgeously aesthetic blog showcasing her paintings, her painting set up, scenes around Dromund Kaas (especially the floral gardens) with everything carefully curated. Theme? Moody pastels. Photosets? Color coordinated.

40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!

I have SO many fond memories linked to my characters, especially ones I've made since joining tumblr back in...*checks notes* 2016ish as I've really built myself a fantastic community of mutuals that are so supportive, have engaged me with my characters all the more, and created some truly stunning joint worlds. I'll highlight a few that I've stumbled back across while digging through tumblr (though its absolutely NOT an all encompassing list):

The entire Fictober 2019, where I wrote Moments in Time will forever be special to me; it was my first attempt at fictober and the outpouring of love and support and excitement to follow ficlets of Wulfwryn and Raenor (who were NEW) was so inspiring and as we've seen they've become some of my most written characters <3

Emeldir's Traffic Cone Jacket Saga aka the series of in game shenanigans, fics, and prompts that @greyias and I clowned about a few years ago but keep resurfacing every once in awhile :P

Co-writing fics and writing duo fics with mutuals, especially the Idan and Terrance Odessen Reunion that @lumielles and I wrote pair fics for. There's something so beautiful about writing together with friends.

The enabling you all do >:D the Dream Team of Five, Roslynd, and Rhys wouldn't exist if @tiredassmage hadn't encouraged my tomfoolery with pulling Five off the shelf and breathing new life into a character I didn't think I'd feel inspiration for again and that truly is the story with so many of my characters. They wouldn't exist without y'all! Not in the way they currently do.

48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure?

Its a pretty solid toss up between Raenor and Tucdela. Hmmm...nah, I'll go with Tucdela because Raenor has his super saucy side which while that DOESNT mean he isn't the most perfect, cinnamon roll, it does mean he's a little less "pure" :P

50. Give me the good ol' OC talk here. Talk about anything you want.

Terrance has been on my mind a lot lately (hence the stumbling back on the fics) and I really really need to talk more about him because not only is his and Idan's dynamic fantastic, but I actually really popped off with him when I created him. The idea of a miraluka who struggles really really hard with using the Force to "see" as he gets overwhelmed extremely easily, especially on high population planets (like Coruscant) or highly Force attuned planets (Tython, Odessen) is something I want to explore more. That, and I need to write more JediSon and JediDad because Idan really comes through and extends a kind hand to a young kid who has not been shown that. The simple things like a cup of tea, or some spare soft fabric for his eye covering. I need an excuse to go wild over Terrance lol

#captainderyn rambles #oc asks #so many good moments with my mutuals over the years I'd be here tagging all night so I am giving an overwhelming <3 <3 to you ALL

[glasyasbutch]

playlist: day

first one to be done of currently 5, in all likelihood will end up being 6 playlists about this dude. (very normal about him). BUT all the other ones are ship playlists, this is the ONE the ONLY specifically day playlist (daylist?). anyways. enjoy!

link to playlist on spotify

explanations for songs below the cut.

1. Legends Never Die by Belle Sisoski

Legends never die, when the world is calling you, can you hear them screaming out your name? / Legends never die, they become a part of you, every time you bleed reaching for greatness

YES i know it's the league of legends song i know i know i know. But the original has been on my electrohouse but for d&d playlist for years and I like it and so help me god i'm PUTTING it on the playlist for the d&d character who is Literally A Legend Who Cannot Die. Aegis Iuramentum anthem.

chose the belle sisoski cover bc her instrumental stuff is very cool and her voice makes me a little. um. you know. and this playlist is for me.

2. We All Lift Together by Freya Catherine and Jack Victor

This the song of sons and daughters, hide the heart of who we are / Making peace to build our future, strong, united, working 'til we fall / And we all lift, and we're all adrift together, together / Through the cold mist, 'til we're lifeless together, together

Morgan sent this one to me veeeeeery early on as a potential Day song. Might've actually been the first song on the playlist. It's a song for his time with the Aegis: everyone working together for what is clearly some greater good, but the toll gets taken, and you start to mayyyybe get the sense it's gonna haunt you a little bit. haha.

3. Scarecrows by Dirt Poor Robins

They're Lazarus the last of us, the comatose, the dearest friends we've ever lost / Lift your head and see a tree become a forest, a duet become a chorus / Awake and feel the rush of your own blood / For the way we were was the way we learned to live, we couldn't give the things we never had to give / But when we fall we may ascend and begin again

Been obsessed with this song for YEARS. It was my #1 played song in like 2020 i think. I'm so excited I get to put it somewhere. Picking out "standout" lyrics in this song is nigh impossible, but the last verse I think best shows the dual (triple?) meaning I wanted for this song.

On the one hand, it's another Aegis song. It's about choosing to show up and fight the good fight and win against all odds, heavy on reincarnation imagery.

BUT! It's also about Day and Break choosing to walk away. Are they going to be brave enough to stand up against the Aegis and make it clear that something needs to change in the way they choose to fight and die, because their self-immolation is not sustainable. This part's mostly in the chorus and also in the BRIDGE (Remember when you find my bones, remember that I told you so, and when my ashes fall like snow, remember that I told you so) which drives me sooooo crazy insane forever. But also, the selected lyrics above I think have an inkling of this in it, since their whole point in leaving was to get more Aegis on their side. To inspire a movement. (To have their duet become a chorus.) AND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's about Day and Break choosing to walk away. Are they really going to go back home with the rest of the Aegis and leave this group of mortals to run headlong into death on their own? God damn it. They've got an inkling of care for these people. No, no, we're going to join them and everyone's going to become stronger for it.

4. Giants by Bear Attack!

When we stand up strong, when we rise above, we'll be proud as lions / And they'll know our names, no matter where we are, we'll be tall as giants

OG party song!!! It feels good to be the good guys! It feels good to be the hero! It feels good to be knighted for your deeds, to be recognized on the street, to be The Party people look to to save the world, and to actually be the ones to do it! It just feels good! Haha don't worry about the last line of the song there are definitely no quencies

5. Welcome Home, Son by Radical Face

Ships are launching from my chest, some have names but most do not / If you find one please let me know what piece I've lost / Pick the scars from off my back, I don't need them anymore / You can throw them out or keep them in your mason jars

a song for crawling back to your demiplane with the body of your best friend and lover in your arms after having been gone two years and sitting down over a lump of clay to build her a new body and holding the tools and sobbing while trying to make the first cut because as soon as you do break is gone and someone just like her but not her gets born

and i'm completely regular and normal about the song closing on "I feel your thumbs press into my skin again" for reasons. morgan knows.

6. Losing My Religion by R.E.M.

Oh, life is bigger, bigger than you, and you are not me / The lengths that I will go to, the distance in your eyes / Oh no, I've said too much, I set it up / That's me in the corner, that's me in the spotlight, losing my religion

listen it's just a fucking Good song i'll put it anywhere. I like it.

but also it is for Day choosing to leave the aegis AGAIN in the aftermath of break coming back Right and yet somehow it not being enough because Day's too different now

7. To the Mountains by Lizzy McAlpine

I'm trying to let go, I think it could help being alone / And I'm trying not to let you make me cry / I've spilled too many tears and I think I deserve to be alone / And don't you try to reach me when I pick myself up and go / I've got to do this on my own, I need to build myself a home

the og party: hey, um, Day, how's rebuilding Break going? how are you dealing with it? Do you ... want to come visit? Kez built a new tower. Theo's turning two in a few months and we're gonna throw a party. The news wants to do some more interviews and they really want you to come this time.

Day:

8. Country Corner by Lance Takamiya

[instrumental]

A song for Vigil. It really is a nice little town.

9. Psychomachia by I The Mighty

Wouldn't you love to be inspired, let the thought erode your fears / Wouldn't you love to be admired, does it get you through the years / Stay calm, you've got to carry on, oh even with the weight of all you've done / How does it feel to know they look up to you 'cause they're all so young?

Courtesy of Bekah, truly TRULY obsessed with this song. It's just good.

This one's getting us to current party era. It's about being asked to pick up your sword again and all the baggage and regret that comes with stepping back into that old role with a new group. It's about staring into the distance as Bard and Theo talk about "yeah haha wouldn't it be so great to almost die for a cause like Day and my parents did".

It's about wanting to be as good as you were before so you can be something for these kids and ignoring all the warning signs about which paladin in the party you're playing now (it's not the one it was the first time).

Also fun fact, in real life, it's about how the lead singer of Blood on the Dancefloor just sucks so much which I find. insanely funny

10. Heroes by MIKA

I wish there was a way, to give you a hand to hold / 'Cause you don't have to die in your glory, die to never grow old / It's your blood on me, and my blood on you / But to make you bleed's the only thing I wouldn't do

Court mandated MIKA kin song. If the last one was for the current party, this one's for Theo. And the OG party too. There's not much of a timeline anymore. Paladins protect. That's their JOB. and that's all I really have to say for this one.

11. The Light Behind Your Eyes by My Chemical Romance

So long to all my friends, every one of them met tragic ends / With every passing day, I'd be lying if I didn't say / That I miss them all tonight

Going from the last song into this one makes me want to throw up, just btw. It's fucking brutal.

Bekah also talked me into this one. I said girl idk if I want light behind your eyes on day's playlist I'll die every time i listen to it. And she said "that's the idea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Anyways imagine being immortal and watching everyone you love die over and over and over and over and over and

12. the war by molly ofgeography

You, you think that bad things happen when your guard's down, it's getting hard now to get by / And you, you wish that you could tighten up your grip round that wind-up heart that never cries / But you don't feel that young anymore / Let the war be over

if we all lift together Wasn't the first song picked for this playlist, this one was. molly ofgeography is my one my only my tenderest lover and I will put her entire discography on character playlists if you let me.

BUT! specifically. This one is, I think, Break to Day. I made a post a looong time back about how Break is fundamentally fighting to be an optimist and Day is hiding that he's a pessimist, and I think this really really speaks to that. I don't have much to interpret here. Just listen to it.

13. Nine by Sleeping At Last

So show me what to do to restart this heart of mine / How do I forgive myself for losing so much time / Wake up, roll up your sleeves, there's a chain reaction in your heart / Muscle memory, remembering who you are / Fall in love again and again and again, wage war on gravity / There's so much worth fighting for, you'll see

waaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

he's figuring it out. how to heal. it took a while but he is he is he is he is he is

#day #narrative campaign #playlists

[sxfik]

Omg dud you finally get around to reading witchshadow?? What are your all over thoughts??

omg hello!! and yes i did! i actually ended up rereading the whole series because it's been literally seven years (saying that outloud makes it so much more real wtf). it took me a while bc my god are those books a l o t to get through for me now.

i mean idk if i need to preface this since you were literally there but like... i was one of like the 10 people that was active about this series on here when it started back in the 2016-2017 era. like i love this series, and to this day i've kept the username and all the stuff i wrote for it, so just like idk a disclaimer: im not here to hate or anything, just truly mourning something i really loved.

overall thoughts: witchshadow was so disappointing. like resoundingly disappointing. there was so many things i had issues with, and idk if i even have enough time and words to describe it. i feel like this whole series suffered from having too many complex plot points and too many characters introduced five books into a six book series. not to mention the amount of lore and words that is dropped into the books with little to no explanation of what they mean and what they indicated in this world? like how is it book five and i still don't understand what a domna truly is?

i feel like the complexity balance was really held well up until witchshadow, when it literally just got so confusing that none of the characters felt like themselves? also the weird timeline for this book did not help. like jesus christ this book is complex as it is, how are you making it harder for us??

like a) iseult. i felt like she was overshadowed in her own book, i wanted to know about her nomatsi heritage and literally so much about her like the other books did for the main characters, but this felt so disappointing. where was all the worldbuilding you set up for this moment? why did esme just get downgraded all of a sudden? and also just... she doesn't feel like she made any character improvement/her arc went backwards?

b) safi was just? stupid in this book? how did she have a negative character arc. like i know she's supposed to be reckless and making impulse and stupid plans, but her character felt reduced to just that. like first and second book safi: i knew why she was making these decisions, even if they backfired, but this just feels like a mockery of her character. and i love safi, and i wish she had a way better arc than she did, and got treated with the same book time as isuelt and aeduan.

and also god, the weird emperor/safi bs was so unbareable. she's literally like 18 in this book (i actually thought she was closer to 19/20 but whatever i guess she's 18 here). every scene with them was so werid and uncomfortable. (especially that weird one where she walks in while he has sex what the fuck was going on there) why was she desperate to have sex with what i assume to be like a 60 year old??? i had to force myself to read through these parts and not skip them

and god the hellbards. i loved them at first but im getting sick of them taking over the story. why are they so important that they essentially replace both merik and practically the whole main cast of characters. why are they mentioned at every turn? if they were this important, why didnt you introduce them sooner?

c) why does safi and iseult just not have any interaction. its literally been five books bro the seperation arc is enough (and yes i fully consider them separated) !! why have they had 0 character development together?? they're arguably the center of this series, and what started this whole chase, and yet we've gotten maybe one book and a half of them actually growing together. how is this gonna turn out for the final book when you have maybe 600 pages and 6 characters to get through?

d) where the fuck was merik. hes literally a main character how did he disappear??

e) the whole vivia/stix to vivia/vaness makes me. upset. i dont understand the decision to make them threadsisters when they were vivia was gay panicking about her 24/7 in windwitch. literally 0 buildup for something that feels like it came out of nowhere. why are they like siblings now, it feels so so so weird. i honestly have so much more to say about this and yet im still upset

now this might seem like such a hateful rant, and i promise it's not hate, it's just frustration at what seemed like such an excellent book series. and honestly, up until bloodwitch i was doing fine and then this book was just... so different to the rest of the series. i know susan was forced to combine the books into one, and so maybe that's why, but idk man, this felt so disappointing.

i love foreshadowing and worldbuilding when it's done right, and i think it was doing great until this book. a lot of stuff felt like plot twists out of nowhere, with no rhyme or reasoning to it. it just didn't feel like a witchlands book if you get what i feel. honestly, out of love and time for this series, i think i'll be reading the final book as well in the series, hoping things get fixed and we get to see characters that were beloved back again.

(p.s. how are you? its been so long!!)

#user: sxfik #mine #the witchlands #witchshadow #witchshadow review #susan dennard