#were joking

[raspberryjellybrains]

magnus is hot in a scrunkly way. when people first see him, their first thought is "why does he look like that." but not altogether in a bad way. the confusion makes it better.

#one of those people that you look at and youre like nah. thats not real youre not real. #but not in that hes too perfect but in that your brain rejects that such a series of features could be combined in such a way #like nice eyes but there a little off. cheekbones which shouldnt look right with nose and lips but they do. #are you seeing what im saying. do you understand please understand. #if you think about it #his mom had such beauty and personality she attracted a god who had been exclusive to his wife for hundreds of years #and his dad is literally a dilf fertility god #but i think theyre both attractive in opposite ways. like when people with different opinions want to have a child and ask what it thinks. #magnus is a game of aesthetic fuck around and find out #i need to write a fic where alex is like 'you mean you actually thought you were ugly? like fr this whole time?' bc she thought they #were joking #'YOU MEAN YOU KNEW??? :0' 'i literally called you pretty. i have kissed you. we are partners. YES I KNEW.''samirah please tell me hes lying #'i wish i could.' 'FUCK!-' #magnus chase #mcga shitpost #mcga #raspberry rambles

[whatsnewalycat]

Made this for u 💝

#if there were a fourth soldier it would be my shitty jokes #meme #writing meme #fic writing

[o0kawaii0o]

ROMANCE DAWN TRIO

#I have been drawing more pre time skip stuff then actual recent stuff of OP #pre time skip really just had this dumb (but fun) energy #ah don't get me wrong tho OP is still very much a joy #in case you were actually wondering - yes sanji gave zoro that keychain as a joke but uwu #working on 1 more silly drawing atm! #one piece #op #roronoa zoro #op nami #luffy #monkey d luffy #o0kawaii0o

[crabussy]

reblog for a larger sample size and to reduce sample bias!!

#IF ITS NOT CLEAR THIS IS A JOKE POLL #I'm poking lighthearted fun at all the clearly biased polls that go around on this website #many of which were made by yours truly #e.g. the queer/not queer polls #like its tumblr. you are not looking at the general population #anyway its all in good fun ^_^ #unreality

[joycrispy]

Zepotha will never be Goncharov because when it comes down to it, tumblr culture is collaborative, while tiktok culture is merely iterative, and those are not the same thing.

#also because tumblr has a very specific way that it interacts with the media it loves #like make no mistake; when we made Goncharov we were a little bit making fun of ourselves #and the way we project high emotion and significance onto even the smallest details #(also the way we want everything to be gay) #tiktok isn’t doing that. they think the joke is the fake movie itself. but the fake movie isn't really the point. #the point is the fake FANDOM #goncharov

[tittyinfinity]

I was hanging out at the karaoke bar, chatting with a beautiful woman, and we were really hitting it off. I threw a couple of flirtatious comments her way. She giggled nervously, but abruptly stopped and looked at the floor.

She told me that she was too nervous to hit on people because she's trans and worries that people will view her as a predator and that she might get hurt.

My heart sank. I let her know that she could hit on me in whatever way she wanted and I would LOVE it. We spent the rest of the night hanging out and flirting. We ended up making out. It was great.

But I can't stop thinking about how that wasn't the first time a trans woman has said that to me. About how unsafe it is for some women that they feel the need to give out fucking disclaimers to have normal interactions with people.

We have GOT to make the world a safer place for trans women. It pisses me off that there are men at the bar who are openly predatory towards me without fear of consequence, yet a trans woman is too scared to even fucking call me pretty. And that's because she IS more likely to face worse consequences for lesser things! Like what the fuck!

You need to always check on your internalized biases. Being queer yourself doesn't absolve you of transmisogynistic thoughts and behaviors. Being bi/pansexual doesn't mean you don't hold those biases either! If you feel differently about a trans woman hitting on you than you feel about a cis woman or a man hitting on you, you need to evaluate that.

Trans women, I love you so fucking much. You should be able to express attraction and love as freely as everyone else. I hope you can always feel safe around me. And I'll never stop fighting until you can feel safe period.

#her name was Kara which we joked about bc I came with my other friend named Kara and we were at the Kara-oke bar lol #i told her about how last time i was hit on at that same bar was ALSO by another woman named Kara #she said ''i need to find a man to transition right now so we can have more karas'' 🤣😭 she was so great lol #and I'm texting another friend named Kara right now😭 soon everyone will be Kara #transmisogyny tw #.bdo

[caluski]

So sick of this overly negative meme that shows up every single fucking month so made my own version.

#Like thought we were done with the self depreciating jokes where the punchline is 'I wanna kms'. Whatever #pogaduchy

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

#this is true #writeblr #warm up #relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes #amongst the Siblings #is like - ''this is so good u will love it'' #while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting #like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good'' #to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good #(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and #like. we're GONNA try the new thing.) #edit to answer why we had so much vanilla: #my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house. #it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out'' #even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter. #my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract #to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids #so like she was right to stock up #ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that #u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it #> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes #> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out) #listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9 #when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it. #3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters #i am the middle child #out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite

[chloesimaginationthings]

FNAF puppet and Michael Afton got beef,,

#myart #chloesimagination #comic #michael afton #mike schmidt #the marionette #the puppet #charlie emily #fnaf #fnaf 2 #fnaf movie #fnaf fanart #five nights at freddy's #I don’t think the puppet likes Michael much pff #doesn’t hate him just knows what he did #I like how the puppet is seemingly more aware than most haunted animatronics #so it makes sense to me they’d talk so forwardly to the others #she’s mostly just joking and teasing here #I also think about how violent they were as lefty #so this blunt attitude + hostility in the games towards Michael #just adds to this personality #PUPPET MENTIONED 🔥🔥 #we love the puppet

[jay-wasstuff]

LA's environmentalist lawyers pulling up to Universal:

Update:

Well then, I guess:

#its time to pay ❤️ #wga strike #writers strike #writers guild of america #screen actors guild #sag aftra #sag-aftra #sag strike #environment #tree law #universal #nbc universal #bird law #update on tags #$250? $250!? #the environmentalist lawyers when the city told them they were first time offenders and thus would be having fine limits: 😀 eh #obviously they probs didnt call them in but its the joke let it be

[baltharino]

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)

#monty python and the holy grail #monty python #the black knight #king arthur pendragon #john cleese #graham chapman #live action #dailyflicks #filmdaily #filmedit #movieedit #cinematv #dailytvfilmgifs #filmgifs #moviegifs #gif #gifset #some of the jokes in this were a tad repetitive for my taste but god. the black knight has a place in my heart

[termiken]

#undertale #asriel #chara #asriel’s about to learn a very important lesson #me and my friend were talking bout how people say that chara fell down some time in the 2010s #so they probably knew ligma jokes and shit and fucked with asriel with them #my doodles

[drulalovescas]

Supernatural was so so so so so funny in how they were like: "Dean is such a ladies man, only boobs boobs boobs" and then they would give him a love interest in season 6 and never again.

BUT they'd have him make Cas a mixtape.

And grieve Cas like a heartbroken widower.

And then have him be happy for the first time all season once Cas returns to him (even though his mother'd still be missing).

And they'd have Dean stop with the hook-ups completely. And instead they'd have Dean make Cas watch movies together.

And have date nights.

And they'd have Dean on his knees confessing.

And the last person who'd confess his love to Dean would be a gay angel.

But Supernatural was so so so so so funny they'd be like: this means nothing.

#cas was THE love interest all along #also forever grateful to these writers who were like THIS MEANS SOMETHING #and forever fuck you to those who treated the ship and the shippers like a joke #destiel #supernatural

[caruliaa]

staff still hasn't given me polls, what should i do?

🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their moms 69%

🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their dads 31%

grace image os i get to look at her

#edit: edited the og post to what i want but to set the record straight i edited to the post to be mathematically correct right after the #first person pointed it out which was like ten mins after i posted the og post. now fuck offf !!!!! the rest of the tags r from the og post #for some reason i feel very immature making your mom jokes about tumblr staff. which i shldnt !! #bc they suck nd they still havent given me polls. but i ig i feel imature bc it a your mom joke 😭 but still i tihnk its kinda funny #EDIT: edited the post to what i want bc yall were getting annoying . but to set the record straight i edited to post to be mathematically #also its *mum* not mom okay i am NOT !! an american . but if i say mum everyone will j be like 'omg british' like i dont know i am #anyway. i want polls please. give me the rigght to force my mutuals chose between the most inane things #also i tihnk it wld b cool for the cs weekly blog. like w each episode #i cld do a poll of like. out of five stars what do u think of this ep #and it wld b a cool thing of which eps r ppls faves #also i cld have like. whose ur fave in team red whos ur fave in acme etc #id prob just have to go with vile faculty bc theres more than 10 ppl in vile. and ppl wld kill me if i didnt include nel the ell or whoever #it wld b fun !!! #oh btw csweekly thats i thing i want to start. prob on uhhh the 11th of feb ill post abt it more but its basically #a tag/blog for watching cs one ep a time watching one ep every saturday #ya !! :3 #flappy rambles #inaccessible #ask to tag #(<- idk. just in case)

[sidras-tak]

Reporting this to the unaware masses lmao: Thailand released the first episode of a moderately-highly-anticipated BL today, about professional racers, and revealed (with absolutely zero hint of it in any trailers and marketing) that it is set in the omegaverse. And the main relationship is Alpha/Alpha.

#sparklepants #it’s chaos out here tom!!! #I’ve been absolutely thriving today #the memes the jokes the screencaps the confusion #BONUS the author lied and said omegaverse storylines were taken out during scriptwriting #go off queen thank you for your lies #if you had been honest I wouldn’t have had such a seretonin-filled afternoon

[adobe-outdesign]

there was a period of time during the early days of Neopets wherein they would redesign an older pet. in order to pick a redesign they'd offer a poll with a few different options, like this:

but during 2001—2004 they would do polls with several completely normal, similar-looking options and then one (1) just completely messed up option that they never acknowledged or explained

my personal favorite was the Gelert one

#neopets #neotag #mynci #kougra #gelert #outdesign posts things #I like the mutant gelert we got but I also kind of unironically wish that messed up design was the mutant #presumably these were joke options but you could vote on them which makes me wonder what they would've done if the gag option won #greatest hits