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inkskinned · 7 months

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in internet posts it is easy to cut them out of your life. they are hurting you! they aren't listening to you!

they held your hair back. they lent you lipstick. they held your hand at the train station and got you home safe. they rounded on your bully, got loud, said get fucked, spitting-mad in your defense.

they also cut the hair off again. told you that you should really think twice before wearing something like that. took you for granted. took your insecurities and threw them in your face again.

you know logically it should be easy. all the internet advice comments always read it will feel better. like an equation - if a person is rotten, you just remove them. you pull the tooth that's hurting.

but it was never a big flare-up moment. you don't live in a sitcom. they never tried to take your boyfriend or steal from your apartment. they showed up to birthdays and they wrote songs about you and bring you water without you asking. once you found out they carry an emergency inhaler for you, even though you haven't had an asthma attack in years - just in case.

where is the line? people fuck up. sometimes they fuck up badly. sometimes people have raw personalities, like a powerline, and being around them is dangerous. addicting. sometimes they can't help themselves, but you know they're trying. sometimes they are just rough-around-the-edges. sometimes they don't even realize how they sounded when they said that. sometimes it's just - you've both loved each other for so long now, the way this thing hurts goes back to the root.

and that's the fucked up part. you have pushed your fingers against the sweetheart of memory. things these days are electric, tense, harrowing. they didn't used to be. there were a lot of good days in there. sometimes you want to just close your eyes and say can this be over yet? do we still need to be fighting?

doing that would give up any chance you get of getting an apology, but you don't always know that you need an apology, you love them. once they flaked on your birthday party. once they told you to get over it, people are always dying. they also let you crash on their couch for a week after the breakup, handfeeding you when you were so sad you couldn't eat. they are also judgmental about everything, occasionally react to banal statements with an attitude that is weird and fiery. they also love you like a lighthouse sometimes, so strong they cut the storm like lightning.

but the problem is that you might be storm. you might be the thing that needs breaking. what if you are two forces who are desperately, horribly drawn to each other, shaped by the other person's passions, and both good for each other and bad in equal measure.

what if you're both just people, and you're no saint neither.

just cut them off! swallowing the saltwater, you catch yourself in the mirror. you've been shaking more than usual. there's an ache in you that is oblique, loud, impossible to soothe. is this what it looks like? when life is "easier"?

your mouth will always have a hole, is the thing, if you remove the tooth.

#spilled ink #warm up #writeblr #this is about someone specific but feel free to blorbo on main.#tbh this is familial for me so that is an element but it's also about childhood best friends #and probably about ur enemies to lovers blorbo #(but i want to specifically say if ur partner is like this. not necessarily a good partnership lol.)#(the dynamics at play in familial/friend relationships feel equally important and in some ways are HARDER to escape.#bc we can see that this is a potentially toxic romantic foundation.#but in family ? ...... it's toxic and it doesn't stop u from loving them. bc u always have.#and i think that makes it harder. by a lot. which is what this is referencing).#but genuinely and really truly forever feel free to tag ur potentially toxic enemies to lovers on this and all my poetry #here i'll do one for u - adora & catra :x

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txttletale · 2 years

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fuck tolkein and fuck dnd for being the originator and modern popularizer respectively of the race science tropes that have glued themselves parasitically to the fantasy genre and refuse to come off

#yea yea yea ik there has always been a very reactionary bent to the fantasy genre #but tolkein absolutely codified What If Race Science Was Real as a foundational pillar of the fantasy genre #and dnd has been its torchbearer for the last like 50 years #best of

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brainrotcharacters · 8 months

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whatever level of insanity odysseus was under when he spat "you don't think I know my own palace? I built it" I'm down

#like #dark odysseus best odysseus #king of ithaca #jorge rivera herrans #epic the musical #epic the musical king #odysseus of ithaca #odysseus #that's such a banger line to spit at the nonbelievers of your power to absolutely wreck their shit up #odysseus moonlights as a carpenter /j #odysseus's mind is not only politics and warfare savvy but architect savvy too #i hope you all get what i mean #i mean odysseus being a man of architecture means he understands the foundation/base of a strong building #ergo he knows how to setup and pay it off #sorry but i love me a schemer #i'm an incredibly cerebral person so this is very attractive to me

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lover-of-mine · 6 months

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Buddie Countdown to Season 7:

105 days.

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 9 months

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hm ok so for a while i was thinking that Wally, for the most part, only perceives reality as "Home", the neighborhood. that's his entire world, it's all he knows

but then i slapped myself and went wait. the Live Interview. Wally has been outside of Home, and has interacted with humans (presuming that the interview did actually happen, of course). and through Wally's interactions - or rather, attempt at interactions with Us, the QA, and the WHRP, it can be strongly assumed that he knows that there's an Elsewhere. there are places outside of Home. maybe he doesn't quite understand that there's another reality of sorts, but there's no way he's unaware that there's more than just the neighborhood out there

(and then of course there's the fact that Clown has said that humans are deeply involved (not a direct quote, im paraphrasing) in Welcome Home. maybe Wally interacted with them / regularly interacted with them. there could have been an adjustment period after he gained consciousness where humans helped him learn how to walk/talk/fine motor skills - this could be why he has such a seemingly inherent / desperate trust in Us & the WHRP & the QA... humans made him and cared for him. it's possible he could view them as a sort of higher power to trust & have faith in

& maybe he's been off-set or could go off-set. i mean, the houses' rooms were all different sets - the buildings themselves were empty husks, right? who's to say Wally wouldn't physically walk to the individual set pieces whenever he went over to someone's house (but then that leads me into speculation on how the puppets' consciousness works and how multiple copies of them could co-exist and wondering which is the - im getting off track. but there's all of that and then the two part "you're okay!" art pieces of Wally & Eddie, which are technically canon - dont quote me on that - and that's Another ramble/theory post i could go on about & have strong feelings on. Anyway!)

"but wait," i hear someone protest, "what about Barnaby? he was in the Live Interview too"

but was he? was he really? was that Barnaby, or was that a person in a suit playing the character Barnaby B. Beagle? i mean, if it was Barnaby, there had to be some memory fuckery going on that prevented him from either fully comprehending/realizing the situation, or just made him forget as soon as it was over.

and actually wait, Wally has to be aware of the reality discrepancy. because it was certainly him in the Interview as himself. He had to have understood on some level that either that wasn't really Barnaby, or that Barnaby wouldn't remember the interview.

(there's a connection in my head between all of this & how he would view an apple pie. "it isn't the same anymore. something's different". but i can't pin it down for the life of me.)

and with the Talking Telephone calls, Wally explicitly tells Us that he's not going to tell anyone who was behind the calls. i remember listening to the "original" prank call audio tests, which while were very similar to the canon in-website ones, have a few changes. one of which was Wally - in the tests - saying that the others weren't ready to meet Us yet. now in canon that tidbit has been swapped out for "You have to go too. You have work to do" but i think it's still implied through Wally's purposeful withholding-of-information that he doesn't think the others are ready to know. or he straight up doesn't want them to know

i mean, one little theory i previously had is that Wally wants them all to catch on to the nature of their reality and situation, but he doesn't want to - or Can't - tell them outright. they have to figure it out. and that can't was either something keeping him quiet, or because if they learned too soon / inorganically, their little puppet heads would pop into confetti like Red Guy's in dhmis 4

However my views have Changed and i'm pretty sure Wally is purposefully not telling anyone to maintain the illusion that everything is fine and can continue on as it always has. maybe it comes from a place of protectiveness, of love? whatever the motive i think he wants them all to keep being unaware and dare i say, Complacent while he "fixes" their situation.

which is delusional, but we all know Wally is digging his metaphorical claws into a desperate bid to keep everything the same / return it to its original state, leaving bloody scratches in something already rotted. or something like that!

all this to say i think it's interesting how it seems that he's the only one aware of humans / an outside/other world, yet he's so determined to stay in his lane. he wants connection & communication yet he doesn't want to leave or change. he wants help in keeping things the same (some could say in keeping Our reality & his separated) but in the process he's dooming everyone/everything and tearing down those walls himself

(Wally: i'm going to stay where i am, and you're gonna stay where you are, and we're gonna help each other keep me and my friends where we're meant to be. anyway i wonder what this sledgehammer does)

#this is a very disjointed ramble but when are they ever put together!#i have to start at point a to get to point 36 yk yk #trying to write down my thoughts is like trying to keep a firm grip on a lubed up ferret #SOAPED!!! SOAPED UP!!! I MEANT SOAP yk that doesnt make it any better. anyway moving on dont look at me #its. its. the more i think about wally the more i go insane #like he's got neurosis stacked on neurosis stacked on-#there is something soooo wrong with him <3 #homebogging #welcome home speculation #wh speculation #i do think his heart is in the right place. i do think he's trying to achieve something he thinks is good & best for everyone #but... despite being aware of more than his friends... technically knowing more Truth than them #he's more trapped by that knowledge. he's ruled by it. and he doesn't really have the -#i dont want to say capacity bc i have to believe that he Can change. he just doesnt know how / currently doesnt want to / is too scared to #but he doesn't have the freedom the others have. bc in their ignorance they can ignore their confines #in a way they're more real than wally despite living in a fabricated world as fabricated people with fabricated lives #they're authentic in their ignorance #and ive said it before and ill say it again - wally was created as a blank slate while everyone else already had a Foundation #no matter how false their memories are they Have them. they have the tools to change and want change #they already perceive themselves as more than what they were made for. they think they're People (not humans - people) dont they?#so if they learn theyre trapped... they'll want out. meanwhile wally is already stuck bc while they have - in a way - More #the neighborhood & the show are all wally has. he knows there's outside but he doesnt have any reason to Want that outside #bc why would he want to leave home? why would he want anything to change? it's his sole purpose isnt it?#idk i just think wally would benefit from being told 'you dont need a purpose / you dont need to adhere to a purpose / you are enough as Yo #doing what You want. you can just Be'#but yk. what was i talking about again #oh yeah - wally is so so aware and yet so in the dark #he's got one half of the puzzle but they're all corner/edge pieces and he's trying to fill the inside space with Nothing #hm. i wonder if he'll end up needing the other neighbors to help finish the puzzle... who's to say who's to say!!#FUCK YOU TUMBLR I HAD MORE TO SAY. CUT OFF AGAIN AGH

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slyandthefamilybook · 4 months

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me when I'm the dumbest motherfucker alive

#atlas entry #well let's look at “our own book” and see what it says #“the entire land of Canaan and Transjordan belongs to the Jews”?? wuh-oh that's not a good foundation on which to build a secular state #idek where to start with this one man. the conflation of native and indigenous? not knowing what ethnogenesis is?#lying about Israel's policies wrt DNA tests? calling אברהם אבינו A prophet?#I think the best part about that is saying Jews can't be indigenous bc Avraham was “the first Jew” but the word Jew comes from Judea #which is not where he was from. there's a reason we call him Ivri. wow almost like Jews know more about our history than random goyim

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fearofalling · 2 years

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do u ever get the paralyzing fear that your favorite my chemical romance song might not even be released yet

#i’m watching a live vid of foundations right now and i’m like wow #you must fix your heart has to be one of my favorite lyrics they’ve ever written #and then i realized #oh god #what if there’s MORE #what if my favorite my chemical romance song doesn’t exist yet?????? what if it’s not deathwish and best day ever????#THEN WHAT?????????#mcr

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thesweetnessofspring · 19 days

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I'mma be a hater, S3 of Bridgerton (so far) is the worst yet.

#like the whole show is very trope-y #but this season feels like it's all trope with no set-up to earn the trope #despite the fact that they had 2 seasons to make us like polin i i know other people like them but i never have #colin was always so dismissive to penelope and oblivious to her feelings and then INCREDIBLY cruel with his comment #and he has no real characterization #“you're so kind and think of others before yourself!”#um....WHERE?#at best he cares about what society thinks and won't ruin a lady but when is he KIND?#show don't tell c'mon it's basic storytelling #then they just make him a manwhore like all the other men on this show #which is undone when he kisses penelope and suddenly realizes his dick perks up around her?#all the characters are just annoying now #i know no one really thinks it's a great work of art or anything but the storytelling and characterization aren't even passably entertainin #no hate to the actors this is 100% on the writers #the actors for colin and pen are giving it all they can but they didn't give their characters a strong enough foundations in s1&2 #to jump into the tropes they did #i could go on but i'll stop

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whitmore · 9 months

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really actually kind of enjoy how the big lore moments are sort of quiet on a singular stream (or a small group!) instead of the events solely being the lore; i think there would be this hesitation to develop anything solo if the server reinforced this idea that Big Lore could only happen during scheduled events and days. instead the more narrative-progressing moments (take the baghera hybrid experiments revelation or the philza birdnapping for recent example) are very low-key and almost unhyped up— there’s no expectation for that kind of lore necessarily at the time which makes it more rewarding to experience as a viewer. big fan of how they do the events as player bonding time rather than serious narrative progression because it allows all the players (especially the ones who don’t engage in the rp side that much) to participate and get to know each another more; it’s very neat it’s really smart it’s nicely executed

#eleanor.txt #qsmp #tag expansion time get ready for the nuance #do i think that the events could be executed better in terms of like. coding / design. yes on occasion #i’ve seen some frustration that some players don’t take the events seriously enough and that it’s frustrating as a viewer #which i understand and empathize with i think there’s definitely A solution somewhere but i’m not sure exactly what it is tbh #i try not to criticize what i cannot personally solve i think they’re doing their best with what they’ve got #i also do believe that like the Expectation for Big Lore almost always backfires #it’s something u cannot win i think . the expectation will always in some way let you down #(especially re: character involvement seriousness of the stream amount progressed narratively contribution to general plot etc etc #there’s so many variables when you expect ‘lore’ and what that means to people)#i think there’s always some disappointed group when Big Lore starts to be hyped up & teased #whereas i see a lot less general complaints when it’s an unexpected moment (other than people upset they missed it—#arguably unavoidable whether you advertise the stream as lore focused or not)#there’s still Lore during the events things still occur information is still exchanged #but it’s not structured on lore. lore isn’t the foundation for the event it just occurs by implication #anyway. very good job qsmp impressive stuff very enjoyable

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mattastr0phic · 1 year

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Today has been interesting.

#dr elias shaw #dr shaw #scp #scp foundation #this is all i'll really be saying about this #if you wanna know what's been going on I suggest watching dr cimmerian's videos #I think if the name change goes through i'll respect it but also #best wishes to all the bright introjs out there #but also the ship names claw and alias sound FUN to me

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wereh0gz · 26 days

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I'm usually not very fond of the idea of remaking/remastering games when they still hold up today BUT I think Sonic Team should make a Sonic Unleashed definitive edition that takes the best parts from the HD and Wii/PS2 versions and puts them into one

Like keep the graphics, hub worlds, and daytime levels from the HD version and keep the Gaia Temples, medal collecting system, and nighttime levels from the Wii/PS2 version. Include the DLC levels, bug fixes, general quality of life improvements, and fine-tune the controls a bit too. Maybe even add some extra content that wasn't in the og games to make it even more worthwhile, like more animated shorts and artwork, extra side missions, stuff like that

Also make a pc version. Please for the love of god make a pc version

#ramblings #i honestly just want more ppl to be able to experience sonic unleashed #especially its story bc it's genuinely one of the best in sonic #but ppl are thrown of by the gameplay specifically the werehog sections and how long they can be #in the hd version at least the wii and ps2 versions' werehog levels are a lot shorter #i also would like to be able to play it in hd graphics. bc i have the wii version and not the hd one #i'm usually not the kinda person who cares a lot abt that but y'know it'd be nice to play it again with nicer graphics #and on a controller that isn't a wiimote and nunchuck #also in general it'd just be nice to revisit unleashed. sega and sonic team should show that game more love #it set the foundations for modern sonic's gameplay and the formula it set up has been used for years #it needs more appreciation than what it gets #also also i wanna see my boy werehog again

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crowlore · 8 months

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i remember it used to be a bit of a fandom pet peeve of mine that some people would forget that the gung ho guns and eye of michael were two separate groups with some membership overlap but then stampede came along and made the eom into a project of conrad’s backed by knives. another example of how the reboot feels like bad fanfiction.

#the eom worked best as a predominantly shadowy unknown group most closely tied to wolfwood and LR’s stories #i LIKED that we didn’t know who ran it or what their broader goals were outside of what contact they had with knives/the ghg #extradiagetically nightow just didn’t need to explore the eom in detail. they served their narrative purpose.#but i also find stories that try too hard to ask you bonus questions with overexplained answers to be very lame #so while prestampede it was kinda annoying but ultimately excusable to see ghg/eom used interchangeably #the new show cemented it them as interlinked in a way that actually made the story structure much weaker in an attempt to get ahead of you #this is all very much a critique of mine from the perspective of a writer not just a viewer btw #bad writing isn’t always enough to kill something yk. but plot holes are harder to excuse when your themes and structure are lacking #the manga’s Foundations were just much stronger than the reboot’s if you will #you can turn your brain off with this show and just watch the pretty colors if you want. absolutely no shame in that. we need that stuff #i guess i just struggle to accept a no brainer show like this as being another core leg of the story in the way trimax/98 are bc of it #pretentious of me i know.#stampede critical #for my followers that filter it

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trashlie · 10 months

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Sowing the Seeds, Reaping Stalkyoo

It’s no secret that everything about the state of ILY since the Christmas party has been my absolute catnip, everything I’ve waited for and wanted to see. We’ve had delicious flashbacks and peeks into the past, we’ve been indulged with Nol and Kousuke going head to head, the reveals of how Kousuke has been manipulated and drugged, and yes, Nol’s return into his friend’s lives. Quimchee has been delivering something that I didn’t anticipate we’d get for a long time yet - I thought so much of Nol and Shinae’s relationship was being set up for the future, that it wouldn’t take root until then, and yet.

And yet.

Ages ago I wrote about the foundations of Stalkyoo, how so much of the framework for their potential feelings and relationship had been carefully laid for feelings to begin to sprout and bloom, anticipating that it would not be until after Nol returns from prison, maybe even until after the timeskip, that those feelings would show themselves. What a fool I was! How could I anticipate that we’d be seeing them so soon, like this?!

Someone on reddit asked at what point did Stalkyoo begin - the feelings, us shipping, when it began to feel real and possible, and finally I was able to put the words together, to really begin this post that I’ve been dying to make. (This post is an expansion of my response on reddit, hehe)

I used to waffle a lot on this thought, because if you reread ILY without a romantic lens, there's a lot of things that CAN come across very platonically - but the key is that context always matters, right? To me, a lot of the build up for Stalkyoo has been simply building a foundation so that their own feelings can develop. There's a difference between having feelings and being drawn to each other, but Nol and Shinae HAVE been drawn to each other from the start. While Shinae initially pushes back on Nol's attempt at friendship, by the time they're at the arcade, I think we start seeing the basis of Shinae reciprocating Nol's friendship. Clearly she's only playing along because she wants to get a free meal out of it, but something about Nol and Shinae that I find really interesting is that it really WAS effortless from the beginning! It's just that Shinae has so much trauma about friendships - not only that Alyssa betrayed her and played hot and cold, but that she can't trust her friendship with Maya and Rika is real and she is LITERALLY only there because she knows Maya is scheming. Yet, at the masquerade and the morning after, we see how easy Shinae falls into a rhythm with Nol - but once she catches herself she back pedals.

Something I think we need to clear before we dig into this is the point in which Nol went from trying to play cupid for Dieter to pursuing Shinae's friendship for himself. I don't think even he was totally aware of it, but when they were at the mall, I think that was a slow changing point for Nol. He could tell that he wasn't going to really be able to play cupid for Dieter (but it didn't stop him from trying) but I think by this point he saw Shinae's facade fully, and how similar it was to his. (I mean, I think he'd already seen this, but this was when it really resonated with him.)

Stalkyoo is really well written in which you can't tell at what point the characters themselves start to have feelings, because that's just the nature of feelings. We can't always pinpoint when we go from feeling friend-ish about someone to when we develop feelings, especially in the case of Nol and Shinae who have SO MUCH ELSE going on that feelings are the furthest thing from their minds. Instead, we see those building blocks, the foundations, the things that LEAD those feelings to grow from platonic to feeling something besides just friendship. It's all the little things! For Shinae, it's that someone was so determinedly persistent, something she hadn't really gotten from her other friends. But more than that, it was the way that Nol saw through her. It was the way Yeonggi evoked the kind of friend she wanted to be but was too afraid to be. It was the safety and security he provided her.

For Nol, it was the way she always saw him, always picked up on those little details, always took concern. That night she ran into him after work, when she got worried he'd sat outside all evening because she was too harsh, she told herself not to care and yet... she couldn't. She had just drawn these boundaries, but she still had concern for him. Nol isn't used to that. I'm not saying this to shame Soushi and Dieter in any way, but we don't really see them reach out to him, and I think Dieter acknowledged this after Yujing drove away with Rand and unconscious Nol. Nol had just seen the eviction notice in her room, and yet she still buys him ointment and medicine out of worry for him with what little money she has. She took notice of his scuffed knuckles, of his cat scratches healing, asks how he’s handling things after seeing what they’re saying on the media. At the hospital she calls him out on that façade, expressing how much awful it makes her feel so how can he not?

We get to see these little details culminate, and how that fosters the development of feelings. How can Shinae not be so drawn to this person who has helped her no matter the inconvenience it is to him, who sees through her and calls her out on her bullshit, who took care of her when she was so very vulnerable at the Kim formal? How can Nol not be so drawn to this person who sees him when others make him feel invisible, who makes him feel worthy of her concern and thoughts when so many others have made him feel like he doesn't matter?

It's the way Shinae disarms him and he finds himself unable to lie, revealing a little bit of the real him, admitting a tiny hint of what's going on that he isn't revealing. It's the way he literally inspires her to be a better friend, and to return the favor.

As a reader, the Kim formal and the following hospital scene really sell the plausibility of them through the parallels. We are shown that this early in their friendship, Nol is able to not only comfort Shinae in ways that reach her, but to anticipate her needs (intercepting her coat after Kousuke sends it away). It's not done to say that Kousuke is not a match for her as much as to illuminate why Nol is, to build out that foundation. During a harrowing night when Shinae is completely out of her element and, frankly, terrified, Nol is able to reach her, able to comfort her, and he provides that sense of protection, and in kind, it softens Shinae even more towards him, because now she can see just what a solid friend Nol is, to really take stock of the things he does for her. It also shows us the ways Shinae meets HIS needs in contrast to Alyssa. This is especially important because part of what really fosters Nol's eventual feelings for Shinae is that she sees him, that she feels concern for him, when everyone around him, including the person he's supposed to call his girlfriend, take him for granted.

Nol struggles SO MUCH with self worth and feeling that he matters, that he is anything but a burden (much like Shinae) but also he struggles with feeling that he even deserves this. But then Shinae comes in and gives him a taste of that, and now he can't help it. He opens up, little by little. Not a lot, but he lets her in, tiny bit by bit. She starts to matter. And we can see in episodes like 73, when Nol calls Shinae and they share the parallel pillow hugging phone call, 93 when he admits he can't stop himself from caring and she replaces his earbuds in his ear, 117 and 118 with the chickie nuggie hand holding and the shared earbuds just how Shinae became this person who brings Nol comfort, who has a morphine-effect on him. She becomes a safe space for him. Her comfort towards him fosters that feeling of seeking comfort in her.

At the end of the day, it ultimately is, I think, that they see each other - that they really see each other. Can Shinae see through Nol's facade? Not really - he still has so much that he's yet hidden away. But in a world when he's treated like he's invisible, when others don't reach out, when everyone takes takes takes without giving (and again I'm not faulting people because that's how Nol built these friendships; they weren't supposed to be real, until they accidentally were) she sees him and makes him feel like he matters. And likewise, he inspires her to be a better friend, to take chances with her heart. Ultimately she wouldn't be where she is without him, because while Dieter has also had a substantial role in how Shinae has grown, if not for Nol, she never even could have built that friendship with Dieter.

But also, to bring up my earlier point about that effortlessness, that chemistry has always existed between Nol and Shinae, and once she stopped being so suspicious of him and wary, once he brought her that comfort and security at the formal, we were able to see it more, and how they act on it. I never shut up about how Nol is unable to resist Shinae and it's TRUE. All the times that he tries to avoid her often end with him giving in, turning towards her, revealing something. And likewise she is SO drawn to him that when he starts to pull away, she starts to subconsciously act on that and chase after him, pull him back in. I think there's also something to be said about all the very flirty comments Nol makes towards her that he probably isn't even aware are very flirty - but she is picking up on it. It's that, yes, that attraction is there. Not that I think finding someone is handsome = attraction, but the way she's so embarrassed to voice it feels weighted. Also happening at the formal was that moment where Nol makes Shinae laugh and his eye goes wide - even though I don't think he identified it then, it was a significant moment, probably one that really fostered that attraction, that feeling of how pretty her smile is, ESPECIALLY as someone who had her thick thick walls and he hadn't seen her like that.

Honestly, the entirety of the Kim formal arc really sells the concept of Stalkyoo, despite Nol attending “with” his girlfriend. The parallels in their individual relationships with other significant people show just how compatible they are - Nol banking on a fan taking notice of famous girlfriend Alyssa to give Shinae an escape, that moment when Nol is sent away and Shinae calls out to him and he reaches out before the door closes and he loses the opportunity. It’s that tender moment of Nol doing her make up for her, helping her don her armor in order to blend in. It’s the way she goes straight to Nol after her uncomfortable dance with Kousuke, checking on him because she can tell something is off. They just NOTICE! They GET each other!

It’s that moment at the bottom of the pool when Nol feels the opportunity to escape, to give in, to stay at the bottom of the pool because there is nothing up there for him - and then there is Shinae, unconscious. It’s Nol donning that uncomfortable mask to bring her to the surface, it’s him denying his ideation because maybe there is, in fact, something for him up there. It’s that Nol is still here because of Shinae.

How can she not be so significant to him? How could he fight the development of those feelings when she literally is the reason he is still alive?

IT'S JUST. IT'S ALL OF THAT AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH there's not really one point so much as all along the bricks in the foundation are being laid, the seeds are sown. The structure is going up, the seeds are sprouting. We see the results of that foundation as it fosters these feelings, as it takes these small but significant things and turns them into something grander, until one day Nol is taking comfort on her shoulder, feeling the most at peace he has in a long time, until one day Shinae is crying in the rain chasing after him in absolute desperate fear to not lose him to not lose this. There isn't one moment but, instead, a series of so many moments that build and grow and layer upon each other until one day they are dancing around feelings they weren't aware of until now.

And it's beautiful sobs.

And now that those seeds have sprouted, those feelings have been fostered, they make themselves known. It’s not only Yeonggi that Shinae is drawn to. Yes, that was initially the version of him she knew, who fostered those feelings, but even when he returns to her as Nol - so intense, so unlike Yeonggi - we see the attraction come forth. Rather than Yeonggi, it’s Nol who embodies those aspects of Rand that Shinae finds so attractive - the assertiveness, the intensity - and when Nol stands before her this way, she doesn’t balk. She doesn’t back away. In fact, it’s only when he makes this version of himself known that we start to see her getting flustered, that her heart starts pounding. It’s that intense gaze that she can’t hold, that causes her cheeks to actually flush.

He tells her that his relationship with Alyssa is a shame, that she doesn’t mean anything to him, and it’s like all the boundaries have fallen away. The things she used to call him out on have fallen wayside - she offers him a dance. Though she’s always known that Nol and Kousuke don’t get along, she finally gets a glimpse at how bad it is, how much bad blood is between them.

It’s the way she becomes a grounding rod who interrupts his panic, his anger, who brings him a moment of calm.

In nearly losing him that night, Shinae’s feelings wake up even stronger than ever. She’s already nearly lost him, to nearly lose him this way, in a way that can never be undone... It’s understandable, why she’s keeping vigil.

It’s both Nol and Shinae hating hospitals, finding them to be so uncomfortable, places they don’t want to stay in, but still standing by - Nol outside her door at Hirahara Memorial of all places, Shinae at his bedside waiting waiting waiting. It’s being in a place full of such horrible memories but finding refuge and comfort in each other. As precious at 219 is for Nol’s birthday party, for the flirtations, for the exchanged gazes - the moment Nol wakes up and his panic is quelled when he finds her dozing on the side of his bed is SO important to me. Those moments they share together before anyone else finds out he’s awake feels like the most real they’ve been with each other - no fronts, no masks. It’s them sitting in the place they’d rather never be again, comfortable because of each others’ presence, because of all those experiences before that have cultivated the ability to find comfort in each other.

Security with each other.

The foundation was laid out so beautifully. The seeds were sown and now we watch them sprout, hoping we’ll get a chance to see what comes of them, what grows in this space fostered by them.

God I love them so much sobs

#I Love Yoo #ILY Brainrot #Stalkyoo #Aegi #Shinae Yoo #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #i will never be able to top this post lmao this is it #this is my magnum opus or whatever #this is the best i'll ever be able to write about them to yell about them to verbalize about them #i just LOVE to look at the foundation and see how they've bloomed how they're blossoming #I LOVE looking back and realizing all these little building blocks that got us here #there's no one moment because it was so organic something that just grows and grows until one day you realize it's there #there was never one moment because it's a series of moments a culmination of experiences #it was the environment fostering them #THEY ARE SO IMPORTANT TO ME AND TO EACH OTHER #will Shinae ever get to know? what brought Nol back to the surface at the Kim formal?#will she ever know just how important she is to him?#she thinks she's so easy to throw away but in reality it's that it's so hard to be her friend without wanting more #BECAUSE of how important she is #because as much as he's helped shape her #helped her grow and become an even better version of herself #she has affected him too #she has changed him too #SOBS I LOVE THEM SO MUUUUUUUUUUUUUCH

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sieglinde-freud · 6 months

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If you had to pick a second trio of awakening kids to put in fates (on Hishido's side) who would you send, why, and where would put them (ie who's retainers would they be and who would they replace or where would they be serving in Hoshido if not retainers).

SORRY THIS TOOK ME LIKE FIVE YEARS TO GET TO, STEDY… i saw it and i was like “ooh i gotta think about this i’ll come back” and then. and then i forgor… BUT ANYWAYSSS

so, to hoshido????? well… i think realistically theyd go down the popularity poll. they seem to want to avoid lucina (lord) and morgan (two of them, picking one means making one and also one robin canon) so next on the list iirc is noire, brady, and gerome. and i think that could work pretty okay, but i think they just kind of all have one fatal flaw here: none of them would be down to go.

the awakening trio works because yeah!! yeah i absolutely buy all three of them being game to go fuck off to a new world because some pathetic man begged them to help save lives. gerome though?? no!! gerome hardly wanted to go back in time to save HIS OWN WORLD!! brady cant fight CANONICALLY, and i highly doubt he’d want to step foot on another battlefield. and noire… i think someone could make a case for noire being willing to come. but i think she’d prefer staying with tharja and protecting the baby version of herself more. and without proper encouragement which would mostly likely come from severa who is. not here. i dont think she’d be too willing. AND I KNOW THAT MEANS IM MISSING OUT ON NOIRE!RHAJAT BUT… come on. you think im gonna give noire to hayato anyways?? no.

so!! a more interesting alternative? kjelle, cynthia, and laurent. i think kjelle and cynthia would be so down if they thought they were gonna be protecting innocents. kjelle wants to fight, grow stronger, and protect, and her natural element is the battlefield. cynthia wants to be a hero and fight for justice, and what better than a country protecting its homeland? as for laurent, i think he’d also like to save people, but i just think this guy would also like traveling around for education purposes. a new land means more insight to gain, and more things to share with his mother when he comes back. so. yeah. perhaps not the tightest reasoning, but i think its much more realistic than like. gerome. sooo

cynthia would most likely stay a pegasus knight? i dont see a reason to change her class. but armor knight is nohrian while sage doesnt exist in fates (technically. im aware onmyoji is the equivalent) sooo they’d have to change. i think theres a few things you could do with kjelle? spear fighter is probably the obvious choice, but i think kinda similar to owain, she’d like a chance to try out other weapons, probably to demonstrate her strength. and for this im strongly leaning master of arms prepromote. yes she’d still have spear access, but having mastered katanas and clubs during her time in hoshido could be really fun i think. as for laurent… lol. apothecary. hes not really here to fight but like. he can. promote him to merchant and he’ll start throwing the army’s treasury at you. dont fuck with him! but obviously kjelle would have armor knight access via heart seal and i think i’d give laurent troubador over dark mage just to reference miriel having that class in awakening but it could go either way. cynthia would probably have… uh. ummmm… fuck. wait. i dont know. sumia gets armor knight and cleric. can we j be funny and give her merc so she has hero access :/// ok thanks

if were following the same format as the og trio, i would j plant them as retainers to make it simple. and… i think i’d go:

kjelle - ryoma

laurent - hinoka

cynthia - sakura

im completely willing to change on this honestly. i thought long and hard about it and then i went “hm. no.” and ended up here. my logic is that of the awakening trio, laslow definitely seems to be the strongest and is nohr’s crown prince’s retainer, and of these three, kjelle is probably the strongest, so same treatment. i also considered the dynamic between saizo and kagero and i just think she’d work the best with them. no bullshit, just work. plus, in a samurai class (moa promotes from samurai) she’d fit in better with ninja than a flier and a uh. a guy.

i put laurent with hinoka and i almost didnt because i think he could have an interesting dynamic with the other royals too. but then i was like “okay. of the three: who would fit into hinokas retainer dynamic that just seems to be ‘giving hinoka a hard time’” and well!!! i think!!! i think its laurent!!! i think laurent would just be engrossed in his studies and the difference in technological progress compared to ylisse (no fireworks but they have giant puppets??? the dolls with the saws??? TANKS????) and hinokas like “uh. hey. did you eat any of ur last three meals?” and he goes “no but i DID make a gun” and azama and setsuna are just like “woahhh thats fucking awesome dude” and i just think if i gave hinoka kjelle or cynthia it wouldnt be as funny. i do things for the bit. always.

and that leaves cynthia for the other two and… i dont actually think she’d go to takumi. i think sakura and her retainers is a much more realistic possibility because takumis trio is just. so. fucking look at them… itd be odd to shove a fourth person in there. it COULD work, but also i kinda just like the idea of cynthia pledging herself to sakura. she’d be all hyped about it too like “the brave warrior defending her princess?!! yessss!!” and sakura would be like. so down for cynthias flower throwing entrance or whatever (with… sakura petals?? yes????) and idk i just think they would be neat. and she could be a nice mediator between subaki and hana who just like. wont shut the fuck up. she’ll either make it better by being a nice middle man or make it worse by also not shutting up except its about something completely different and no progress gets made. both fine outcomes, i think.

and then they fight nohr and go to war with their besties forevs!!!!!!! wooooo!!!! im not writing that out. you decide how that goes. though i think a cynthia vs selena encounter would be insaane… ooh or like an cynthia vs odin justice cabal thing? oouhhvghh… but this post is long enough anyways hi stedy 👋

#asks #long post AGAIN #its fun to consider how some of them might act in hoshido #i do think the imagery of apothecary laurent is really funny though #has no idea what the native wildlife to hoshido is like so dude is just shoving plants in his mouth like #‘this may kill me. but fuck it we ball?’#i think him and azama would get on great.#also i think kjellnoka could go CRAZYYYY… like think about it.#one thing that i dont like though is that kjelle and cynthia do not have supports in awakening #but even if we go back to the original next trio gerome and brady dont either???#i think one of the best parts of THE awakening trio is that they ALL supported and thus all has a foundation to build off of #and thats harder to pull off when youre picking from the rest of them #they have the hotspring convo tho so. close enough?#also ik u said replace but i dont rly like getting rid of any existing retainers bc i just like them all so. WOO THREE RETAINERS!!!

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