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lovesickeros · 8 months

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☆ even the gods bleed [ pt 2 ]

{☆} characters furina, neuvillette {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, multi-chapter, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings none {☆} word count 1.9k {☆} previous [ 1 ]

This had to be a punishment of some sort – some kind of divine punishment.

She was bored out of her mind just watching the sleeping body – she hadn't blinked once in the past five hours, her eyes were really starting to hurt. Yet they still hadn't moved so much as an inch since she sequestered them away to the only place she had known to be safe.

But it'd been almost a week since then.

The only solace she found was that Teyvat had seemed much less hellbent on collapsing in on itself like a dying star.

That counted for something.

Not much, but something!

..Even if their position was no better then it was a week ago.

There was, after all, still the issue of what to do about the false Creator – the actual imposter – and the Archons following them like blind lambs. The other Archons wouldn't listen if she tried to reason with them, and it would only risk the life of Divine One if she spoke of their location to anyone else.

She also was pretty fond of having her head still attached to her shoulders.

So she avoided them all together. Partially because she wasn't sure she wouldn't have a breakdown at the sight of them..she'd never been a fighter, and fighting an Archon? Easy pass.

Instead she was forced to babysit the sleeping Divine until they woke up while Neuvillette handled taking care of the nation and dealing with the other Archons – and by extension the false Creator.

Really though, she would almost think them dead if not for the subtle rise and fall of their chest.

Though..this also left her with a lot of time to herself. A lot of time to think.

She really didn't like it.

There wasn't a lot to occupy her mind and what little there was only distracted her for a scant few moments before her eyes drifted back to the Divine like she was locked in their orbit, unable to escape.

She closed the same book for the twelfth time – she kept count – and returned it to it's meticulously designed place within her bookcase. A low, barely audible huff of frustration escaped her lips before she could bite it down, her stare boring a hole into the body of the Divine One with a sharp intensity she rarely showed.

She was tired, bored and constantly on edge, fearing that at any moment someone would find out about their presence here.

That, at the drop of a hat, she would be powerless to stop the greatest tragedy of her time play out before her eyes.

Neuvillette would have scolded her for being so petulant, especially around the Divine One, if he were here.

But he wasn't.

He was out running her nation, instead.

And what was she doing? Nothing!

She grit her teeth, nails digging harshly into the palm of her hands as she took a deep breath – now was not the time to think about that. She had..much more pressing matters. Sulking and letting her thoughts spiral helped no one, least of all herself.

Yet her attention was caught by a harsh inhale, the rustle of fabric – were they finally waking up? She was exhausted, but it all vanished at the sudden drop of life within the otherwise deathly still body of the Divine.

Her eyes followed the subtle twitch of their fingers, watching as their brow furrowed and their features twisted in something almost like..pain.

..She wasn't ready.

What was she supposed to say?

Should she even say anything? Would that be considered impolite? Does she wait for them to speak first? Should she kneel? Bow?

She doesn't get much time to find her own answer before their lashes flutter, chest heaving with every strangled breath. Every single thought vanishes from her mind the moment she meets their eyes.

For a long, silent moment she thinks that her heart must have stopped.

Their eyes glow like the cresting of the sun over the horizon, painting the world in hues of gold – yet it also reminded her of the dipping of the moon below the waves, casting the briefest, most gentle of lights upon the world engulfed in darkness. In the depths of their eyes was the birth and death of stars in the infinite cosmos – glittering stars in a sea of empty, blank space that left her feeling lightheaded and breathless.

Beneath the splendor is a spark of recognition in their eyes so vibrant it was like a shooting star piercing through the dark night sky, leaving nothing but the wonder in the eyes of the observer as the only proof it ever existed – brilliant in it's beauty, however brief.

It is the most beautiful thing she has ever seen.

"Focalors?"

The lilt of their voice nearly made her knees buckle beneath her – euphoria so consuming it left her feeling she was starving swallowed her whole, her mind blanking in a moment of utter bliss. It was..an indescribable feeling that she doubted she could ever hope to put into words – not in a way that could properly express it, try as she might.

She swallowed the words that threatened to spill from her lips – she couldn't make a fool of herself. Not in front of them of all people. She'd never forgive herself.

"Divine One," She rasps, clearing her throat and covering her mouth with a hand to mask both her nervousness and the small smile that creeps across her face. She quickly regains her composure, hand resting on her hip as she puffs out her chest with every bit of pride she can manage. "I am sure you must be confused, but worry not– your most loyal acolyte has seen the truth!"

The silence is deafening.

She opens one eye, peaking at the bewildered and almost distraught expression of the Divine.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

That..she was not prepared for. Surely they knew who they were! Surely they knew. They had to– she's been praying to them for as long as she's breathed, she's dedicated every hour of her life to living up to their ideals, they can't just–!

"Lady Furina?"

Neuvillette, thankfully, spares her the embarrassment of having a meltdown in front of the Divine, the gentle rap of his knuckles against the door making her and the Divine pause, the soft lull of his voice soothing her nerves and yet setting her on edge at the same time.

"Neuvillette." She clears her throat again, her steps hurried as she marches to the door and pries it open none too gently, a forced smile pulling at her lips. She wastes no time tugging the man into the room, shutting the door behind him with a short huff. The silence is, somehow, even worse then before as the three of them stare at each other in absolute exasperation.

Neuvillette, for his part, manages to get his act together with a sharp clearing of his throat, bowing so low even she looks unnerved. She steals a brief glance at the Divine, and she's taken aback by the uncomfortability twisting their features into a grimace.

Their expression is schooled back into one of empty apathy when he stands back to his full height, but she saw it – she knows she did! Did they not like their worship? Were they not respectful enough? For a moment, she feared the Divine would smite Neuvillette down on the spot..but they just stared at him like he was a ghost.

"Why aren't you killing me?"

The defeated, resigned tone combined with the way their voice cracks makes her heart ache in her chest – it feels as though her entire world is crumbling down at her feet, and she cannot explain why she feels such emotions so strongly, but it is suffocating. It is almost as if Teyvat itself is weeping, bearing down upon her shoulders like a heavy weight.

She feels the urge to weep herself, but she powers through, gritting her teeth long enough for Neuvillette to take his place at the side of her – though it feels more like their – bed, kneeling like he was going to pray.

"Divine One," He offers a hand with a quiet rumble of his voice, the words slipping off his tongue like honey. It's like trying to soothe a stray cat..though she'd never voice such comparisons of the most Divine out loud. "I..we mean you no harm. I swear on my authority as the Iudex of Fontaine and Chief Justice that you are safe with us."

The skepticism she expected, but the reverence in which Neuvillette must convince them – or perhaps they are simply so tired that they simply did not care any longer if it was all some ploy to drive a knife between their ribs. She didn't expect them to actually place their hand in Neuvillette's.

He didn't either, judging by the way he visibly brightened – not that they'd notice, but she did.

..Not that she could really blame him, her heels clicking against the floorboards as she shifted her weight to the other foot with a nervous energy that was practically bursting at the seams, more then a little jealous of the attention he was receiving. She was the one who found them, she was the one who stayed with them the entire time..but he gets all the attention?

How unfair.

"O-of course! We would never lay a hand on our creator," She adds, her voice a little higher pitched then she would have liked as she placed her hands on her hips, puffing out her chest and brushing off the sting of jealousy. "Least of all I– your most loyal, most devout acolyte!"

She felt baffled when she heard the sound of their laughter, her shoulders hunching and her cheeks flushing on mere instinct – she was expecting mockery, but the look in their eyes, still dulled by a pain she cannot even begin to imagine, made her hesitate.

..It was, perhaps, the most genuine thing she'd heard from them ever since before the hunt began.

She wasn't sure why her heart hurt at such an idea, but it was enthralling to see the beginnings of a half hearted smile on their lips.

For a moment, her mask of theatrics was forgotten as she stared at them in a mixture of awe and adoration– and though she didn't look at Neuvillette, she could imagine he must've shared such an expression.

Had she any doubts that they were her Creator, that they alone were the most Divine..they would wiped clean now. There was no mistaking the way the world itself seemed to grow clearer as they glanced up at her like she was worth something.

For a moment, she realized how cold the false Creators gaze had been now that she has felt warmth so gentle it almost made her knees buckle beneath her. It felt like a pale imitation, now.

Nothing could compare to the warmth that spread through her body at the mere semblance of a smile upon their lips. She didn't even mind if it was her they were laughing at anymore, she just wanted to hear them laugh again.

She'd make a fool of herself, if she had to.

She'd never felt so..ravenous for such a thing, but just the briefest glimpse was addictive.

She simply couldn't help herself from striding across the room and clasping their free hand in her own, her smile wide enough to unnerve as she leaned her weight onto the bed. For a moment, she considered pulling away at the way they startled, but her mind was made up by then – there was no going back.

"Again."

#sagau #genshin sagau #self aware genshin #genshin impact sagau #self aware genshin impact #fic tag #neuvillette #focalors #furina #dont ask what happened here idk #this was. also supposed 2 be neuvi focused and then i.#dont talk 2 me abt focalors i wont ever shut up #got a 300k word essay on hand abt how i feel abt her character/how i interpret her personality and her story #focalors jsut like me fr fr (cries at the slightest inconvenience or the slightest mean comment)#shes so pathetic girlfail im gonna chew on her #what happens when reader gets stuck with two emotionally repressed french bastards?? hell #neuvi is the “emotionless” flavor of emotionally repressed in that hes HORRIBLE at showing emotions at all #ask him to smile and its incredibly unnerving and theres too many teeth but hes trying his best please call him pretty or he will cry :(#furina is the flavor of emotionally repressed where she makes it up by having Too Many emotions #using theatrics and masks to show everyone what they want to see but inside this girl is a MESS #constant anxiety and panic 24/7 #will do random shit and look at you and if u dont compliment her she will think u hate her and cry #compliment her and she'll do even stupider shit to try and impress you more #i love my scrunkly little babies they r so stupid and mentally ill someone get these bitches some THERAPY #i want 2 put them under a microscope #watch this be ooc fr furina when more of her lore drops if shes not girlfail im leaving #anyway see u in a week im going on a trip ill get back 2 u in 6-7 business days

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dykesquirrelstar · 1 year

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I'm in the middle of Sky and the funniest idea came to mind, so please do enjoy this "lol what if/AU" sketch

#mistystar #reedwhisker #mothwing #frostpaw #warrior cats #a starless clan #warrior cats au #i guess #also i know starclan doesnt show themselves to mothwing but this would be THE FUNNIEST first time for that to happen #and the idea of Mothwing as leader having only 1 life is so based and cool #also if you make fun of this idea/au i will cry so please dont #also please enjoy emo frostpaw. when i draw her fully ill make her more emo i prommy #my art

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pop-roxs · 11 months

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i CANT be the only person who sees how obviously gay makoto and yuzu are......

#THEWAY MAKO GOT EMBARRASSED WHEN YUZU COM my entire screen just went pink why is everything pink what happened to my goth rave theme #THE WAY MAKO GOT EMBARRASSED WHEN YUZU COMPLIMENTED HER #LIKE THAT BLUSH WAS SO INTENSE #AND THE WAY THEYRE CLOSER TO EACH OTHER THAN ANY OF THE OTHER GIRLS #THEY SHARE SECRETS THAT THE OTHERS DONT KNOW ABOUT #MAKO REACHED OUT TO YUZU AND GAVE HER A SAFE SPACE WHEN SHE WAS STRUGGLING #!!!!! SO MANY SIGNS #if they dont get together by the end of this series ill cry and shit my pants #yuzuki x makoto #makoto x yuzuki #makoto kurume #yuzuki murashige #they need a ship name. do they have one #skip and loafer #skip to loafer #sukirofa #water posts

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apotelesmaa · 2 months

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> looking for a tenma siblings relationship study

> ask the op if the study is actually about the tenmas or just treating saki like an accessory to tsukasa

> they don’t understand

> pull out an illustrated diagram explaining the difference

> they laugh and say “it’s a good relationship study sir”

> click the post

> it’s treating saki like an accessory to tsukasa

#project sekai #listen I love tsukasa as I love all the wxs members but i also love saki and cannot stand u people #don’t even get me started on when people fridge saki for contrived tsukasa angst. I’ll kill you.#i could also go on a rant abt how saki is so disrespected in general by pjsk fans #& as sm1 with a (less severe) chronic illness I do not appreciate how her illness is only explored in relation to how tsukasa feels abt it #but I think I would get too frustrated #gripping ur shoulders. read the doll story again.#also if ur talking abt tsukasa’s character & don’t mention saki u have automatically failed #before any of his relationships saki is the most important like it’s not subtext it’s literally just text #did we forget the dazzling event where he finally has a breakthrough in his role bc he talked to saki.#or the main story where he’s like yea saki is literally the reason I pursued acting #or the doll event where he’s despondent bc he thinks saki is mad at him & then when honami comes to his school #his first reaction is to sprint over like WHAT HAPPENED 2 SAKI IS SHE OK (sprints home)#or saki canonically being his no.1 fan. smh. u cannot separate them. and why would u want to. they’re so funny.#+ saki saying he made her hospitalizations more bearable. picking up on his mannerisms. crying during the doll festival bc they had a fight.#the dolls being her favorite things bc of how it symbolized their bond.#the complex tenma sibling mental illness web in general makes me crazy.#saki is like I love u but I wish u wouldn’t worry abt me so much and rely on me more & then tries to hide issues to make him not worry #tsukasa is like I’m always worried abt u and I don’t want to burden u because I feel like I need to always be a rock for u #ough. love them.

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purpleshadow-star · 1 year

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People are saying that Noah went through and felt the same things Will did, and that's why his scenes hit different now. I've seen posts saying that he wasn't acting in some scenes and that he really felt the same emotions as Will, or that he was able to give such a raw performance because he felt the same way as Will. I've seen things about how Noah must have felt awful because his character was the target of homophobes, so he felt like they were attacking him, too.

I think people are taking this too far.

Could Noah have felt Will's emotions on a deeper level than we all knew? Sure. But we don't actually know that. At the end of the day, Noah is an actor. He's an actor, reading from a script, playing a fictional character, and he knows that the story is fiction. He also knows that the homophobes in the show are wrong and end up being punished/ shown in a bad light on purpose. Noah is an actor doing a job, and he knows not to internalize the scripts and the words of homobobic characters. He's played multiple roles. Will wasn't his first role. He knows how this works. He knows the homophobia is wrong and incorrect, especially since they make that clear in the show. I doubt he grew up feeling as awful as Will did just because of the words in the scripts (in scenes he wasn't even there for). Please give him more credit than that.

Noah's scenes hit different because now we 100% know that Noah was really able to put himself into Will's mindset. We now know that Noah was really able to imagine himself going through what Will was going through while filming, and he could relate to being closeted and scared to come out as well.

That's all we know.

We don't know anything else. We don't know his experience. It's entirely possible that Noah went through the same feelings and emotions as Will did, that the words from homophobic characters did affect him personally, but until we get a confirmation that that's true (which might never happen, and that's perfectly fine), I think we need to stop assuming we know his experiences while growing up closeted.

So to say, "Noah wasn't acting here," is just wrong because he was acting in every scene. Just because he is able to relate to Will more than we thought doesn't mean he wasn't acting. Until we get confirmation that he wasn't acting (like how he said he wasn't acting in the shoot-out scene and that he was genuinely terrified), let's not assume anything.

Here's what we know: Noah is gay. He was scared to come out. He came out to his family and friends. They said they knew already. They support him. He can relate to Will as far as being gay and scared and his family already knowing.

Until he shares more or clarifies further, that's all we know so far. Let's not assume things he never confirmed about his private life. We're not owed information about his experiences growing up, and we don't have the right to paint a picture about his experiences when we don't know the truth yet.

#please let's stop speculating about his private life and experiences growing up #lets just enjoy the fact that we know now that he connects to will on a deeper level than we knew before #knowing that noah was closeted and could relate to will in certain scenes DOES make he scenes hit different. for sure #but lets not speculate past that #i know ill be crying while rewatching will's scenes bc now i know that noah was able to put himself in will's shoes and envision his #experiences happening to himself to prepare for the scenes. its easier to put yourself in someone else's shoes when you relate to them more #noah is gay like will so he was able to put himself into will's shoes and portray his character with a raw intensity that brings tears #to everyone's eyes #let's respect noah and not assume anything more about his life other than what he told us!#noah schnapp #noah schnapp coming out #will byers #byler

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the-converse-high-top · 20 days

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this is going to sound really fucked up but i just need to say it i think.

I never realized that people could actually care. I always thought that the depictions of friendship in movies and TV shows were over-the-top portrayals, and weren't things that actually happened. This was then exacerbated by the fact that my entire life I always wanted people to just Know How I Was Feeling like they do on TV and I found out that that's Not How It Works. I always thought I was naive for caring so much about my friends and for doing nice things for them out of the blue, and I always resented myself for resenting my parents for not doing more for me as a child.

So when I got to uni, and my friends started caring about me and asking if I was ok when I looked sad and doing nice things for me, I didn't know what to do with myself. It was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me in a long time. When I was staying with a friend, and she said that she left the window open in the room I was going to be staying in because I liked it to be cold when i sleep, I bluescreened. I didn't know how to respond. It is quite literally one of the nicest things anyone had ever done for me. No one had ever paid that much attention to the things I liked. Every year on my birthday it was either a gamble if I would get something I actually wanted from my parents (spoiler alert: I was often disappointed) or I would just have to straight up tell them what I wanted. I got accustomed to the latter, and now I don't mind, but receiving two gifts from friends about languages this year made me realize that I could have it so much better.

And don't even get me started on online friends. I sort of thought that everyone was lying about them? Or that it was something unattainable, and reserved only for God's Chosen Favorites or something. But no, there are little people in my phone who care about me. They legitimately care about me as much as I care about them. I've been nervous to ask them about their well-being because I'm still nervous about being naive and getting a wake-up call that no one cares again, but after being told that they were worried about me when I overslept, I think i should know that I'm in the clear. And that's not even including all the times they tell me to go to bed when it's late, and when they ping me about things I may enjoy or things I was involved in.

All this is to say I guess that I'm touched that people remember my existence. It makes me feel good to be wanted. I will be eternally grateful to both my irl and online friends who made me realize that just because my parents or my friends from home didn't care enough to remember what I like or to go out of their way to do nice things for me, it doesn't mean that no one will. I need to step up and do more for you guys. I trained myself to push down my desire to help and check in with people because I thought I was betting on something that I'd never get in return, but now I know I can.

Thank you all, and I love you 💚

#uf this is a long one sorry 😅#i put it under a cut so it wont clog up your dash #btw if you are an online friend and you do something nice for me #what you arent seeing is me squealing and crying and bluescreening before giving your message a heart emoji and possibly the 🥹 emoji #the 🥹 emoji to me is a dear friend #🥹 to me in the context of accepting nice things means that im basically already crying #i am so incredibly appreciative of you all #i will not stop saying it #and i need to say it more to my irls faces #if you know me irl and you see this expect me to tell you very soon that i fucking love you #and if youre an online friend and you have vagueposted about something happening to you since ive met you #you may or may not get a message about it (depending on how chicken i am) because i fucking care about your well-being goddamnit #idk idk idk i just #it still amazes me that this isnt fake #that you actually care #i keep thinking that ill say something wrong or whatever and ill lose it all #but in the back of my mind i know that isnt true #i should probably be telling all this to a therapist but therapy is expensive and posting online is free #there was something else i wanted to say but i forgor so ill edit and add it when i rember #ok to rb #long post #personal

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eternalspring4 · 5 months

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I just finished s1 of red valley. what. the. FUCK

also they're so I've got all this ringing by fob

#red valley pod #red valley #warren godby #gordon porlock #they. it. it was all a lie #they.#i will never recover #i will never be the same #“ill be here when you wake up”#what the FUCK #i've lost it #what the fuck has happened to gordon #i'm going to cry #its 1 am #i am not emotionally prepared #for season two #oh my GOD

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figothynewton · 4 months

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Starting a petition to take away editing software from pjo fans cause I can’t take it anymore

#girl!!#one minute I am trying to make a bagel #and the next I am crying about watching the start of one of the purest loves there is #which also happens to be the love that I wanted when I was 12!!!#I can’t do this!!!#saw an edit from pjo 1.05 with work song in the back and I’m sick!!!#i’m ill #percy jackson #annabeth chase #percy jackon and the olympians #percabeth #pjo series #pjo tv show #pjo

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skunkes · 1 year

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Being vague about it bc things can and will go wrong for me at the very last second but I might finally experience a Win tomorrow. 🧿🧿🧿

#talkys #im going to have to bust my ass again to remake all the money im gonna lose but this is #in fact one of the things i was saving for. and i do need it.#i hate having mental illness brain though bc im convinced im using up all my luck for the year already #like ive been begging for something good to happen every day and universe is like okay you get the One and thats it #wah ...we will see. i hope it leads to better things...i really really hope #i hope things get better for everyone in general i feel everyones been having an awful yr so far #anyway i might cry when it happens bc im still convinced it Wont bc things keep going bad for me #i really really want it....

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parasitic-saint · 6 months

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something you need to know abt me is that im extremely scared of artificial voices (think siri, alexa, any voice on gps thingies while driving) and no one believed me when the alexa changed voices one night, even tho i froze in place and all the hairs in my body stand up...

anyway, i'm also terrified of blonde and not really human faces... like that mix specifically (think "i feel fantastic" lady android, max headroom and the first mask of "possibly in michigan")

just felt like sharing <3

#the parasite talks #idk where these fears come from honestly #i've tried watching the max headroom series but i cant #i cant go past the intro without feeling physically ill #i've been able to watch possibly in michigan and is my favorite video and song ever #but the other two i cant at all #i also scream an cry when there's a picture of a being looking directly “at you” but im guessing that's normal if the intent was to scare #i also imagine beings looking at me through the windows and dark screens and generally the dark but i know thats my crazy mind #that's why i have my windows taped vampire style like the wwdits house #and when i was little i would stare at my toys for a long while in case they would move or blink #i still think they do that but i have made peace with it #specially because i had 2 toys that actually moved and talked without me touching them i guess that made something in my brain go wrong #but they were mostly batteries corroding #although one was alive for almost 20 years with the same batteries #sometimes i worry what will happen when i live alone...

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yaburnae · 5 days

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reading and sick to my stomach thinking about nesta failing to achieve what she’d been bred from birth to do and then she’s presented with cassian, essentially an arranged marriage which she had always been expecting and just accepting it because this is how she saves the family finally finally she can do what she’s supposed to have done all along and it will keep feyre happy, feyre who she failed all their lives, at least she can at last do this one thing right the way she was always meant to

#actually ill about it!!#canon/fake cassian: you’re unlovable #nesta: i’ve never been loved in my life. i wasn’t taught to look for it. i can’t afford to start now #they pressure elain to accept lucien for the good of court relations #of course they wouldn’t want their war general to lose his mind due to a broken bond #what choice does nesta have anyway? when has she ever had a choice?#drops some bread in cassian’s lap and says: i know how to play the good little wife this was always my fate #meanwhile she still thinks he’s the best thing to ever happen to him #that she’s a monster who could never deserve him #im crying when i should be napping ANYWAY

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baby-xemnas · 7 months

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i don't have art to show today but ive been retelling my bestie where law and bepo are in the current manga and how it ended up like this and now im all sad and worried again

but again so happy they are together...thank you oda at least for that, idk how youll go abt their future (and i won't lie that i trust you) im so glad they have each other and law wont have to go insane being on his own again, and bepo wont have to go through trauma for failing to protect his most important person in the whole world...

its good for the crew too when they get a chance to regroup they would know that captain is safe with bepo and bepo is safe with the captain....they are so loved and admired they can feel reassured, knowing how strong their captain and his first mate are when they are together

#lawbepo #man im so scared for them #i cant believe oda has a razor blade to my jugular again #i thought i abandoned all investment in the manga....#damn it #i know i made like six versions of IM SO HAPPY THEY ARE TOGETHER IN THIS #but i am....i am very happy and ill live in that satisfaction #until its time for me to justify and twist in my favor whatever writing decisions will happen when we see them again..#damn i wanted to write smth sappy cuz i was thinking about law burying his face in fur on bepos neck...#hes not crying but once he regains his energy he is so full of tension #bepo with an arm hesitantly on laws shoulder #breathing evenly not to disturb him #like when you dont want ur cat to wake up if you move too much when they are sleeping on you #op manga spoilers

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distant-velleity · 5 months

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i was wrong, yes, it was me

Summary: Yu’s getting really sick and tired of landing himself in the infirmary. Warnings: none (probably) Pairings: none Word count: 461 A/N: Shorter one for the prompt "hospital stay." Almost didn’t post this with all the formatting but I haven’t done a prompt fill for the bingo iiiin… nearly three months now so I felt like I might as well. Maybe I'll write a longer follow-up for "bedside vigil" when imminent finals aren't steadily draining me of my will to do anything... Anyway. Enjoy a quadruple drabble full of what I can only describe as my evening word spill.

---

Not for the first time, Yu wakes up in the infirmary.

The lofty ceiling and cross-hatched windows are the same as always. Faintly, specks of dust float about, illuminated by the rays of sunlight filtering in from outside. They only hit part of the curtains surrounding his bed, the room otherwise comfortably dim in terms of lighting.

So I’m back here again, he thinks groggily as more and more of his senses come back to him.

The freshly-washed blanket draped over Yu, smelling just as generic as he remembers, rustles like paper as he tries to sit up. If the Herculean effort of just trying to get up wasn’t enough already, there’s a sharp stabbing sensation that sends pain rippling outwards from his right side.

He winces; that probably has something to do with how he ended up here.

…How did he end up here again?

Did I get in a fight? Or… maybe it’s my fault? Did I make some stupid mistake again?

Yu tries to recall, but—nothing of note pops up. He can’t seem to find anything in his memory, or maybe he’s just too tired to remember on his own.

As if sensing his dilemma, the System pops up to life with a display of his current status:

[ USER’s HP is critically low and currently recovering. ]

[ CURRENT DEBUFFS: Overblotted — effects include exhaustion, sickness, and decreased recovery rate. ]

[ You’ve gained fear and concern points from several students. ]

[ Several characters are worried about you. ]

…“Overblotted.” Overblot…ted?

He has to repeat it and run it through his mind again because, for a moment, it doesn’t seem real. It feels so detached from him.

One more time to make sure I’m not seeing things.

Yu narrows his eyes at the screen.

Overblot—?

—Of course, it’s that one word from the second notification which sends all the memories rushing back.

Memories of hearing the news about a chance to return to the world he simply couldn’t return to;

of impulsively running off and stealing the blot stones Crowley had worked so hard to collect and hide;

of confessing everything about how he ended up here, then feeling so dizzy until the blot started wrapping around him in a comforting cocoon—

Yu’s mouth feels dry with dread, a sinking feeling coordinated in his chest. All he can really do is utter “oh” aloud like an SSS-ranked idiot, thinking—so it really was my fault, then.

The observation is so simple and obvious, so ridiculous, that he just sort of sits there for a moment.

And then he bends over forward, knees drawn in underneath the too-familiar and too-clean blanket, burying his face in his hands. He’s not sure if the muffled, strangled sound that comes out of him is a laugh or a sob.

#kai's writing #twst oc #yuusona #bad things happen bingo #hey... dont cry. yu overblot (i proceed to start crying)#guys i promise whatever the hell is going on with yu has nothing to do with my own mental state HAKJSDKFJSDF #i will not be going berserker mode from stress any time soon #and i nornmally dont do it but yea the first line not being below the cut was intentional #... maybe ill write better when im not sick asdksdjfksdjf. oh well #title is from weakness (milgram)

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stuck-in-the-ghost-zone · 27 days

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MAC OHHH MY FUCKING GOD. ONE OF THE EPISODES OF A SHOW EVER HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE NORMAL AFTER THIS???? HOW???? how long is he going to be FUCKING DEAD FOR!!!! the ashe & mark argument that i felt deep within my soul & miserable on behalf of both parties about them!!! dakotaisms!!! the fucking like. genre conflict of their sillygoofy teen titans shenanigans with a real world where there r men with guns who will simply kill you!! THEYRE WEEKENDING AT BERNIES WILLIAM WISPS PURPLE MORPH SUIT COVERED CORPSE. kicking down your door with a loud bang & then just standing there wild eyed kind of shaking and trembling like a chihuahua

DUUUUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE HEAH. FUCK. s1e19 definitely one of my favorites of all time. i listened to that one during the back half of my shift this afternoon and got to the ashe/mark argument just as i was starting pm checks.... standing in the cramped laundry room in the basement washing my filter socks like

i think about them so much dude. AND THEYRE BOTH RIGHT. WHICH MAKES IT HURT MORE. LIKE. BOTH THEIR SIDES ARE SO REAL. i cannot wait for u to learn more about them pleaseeeee i need 2 talk winters family analysis with you when you get to . certain parts. season 2 is gonna fucking wreck u i know it.

BUT. THEY BALANCE IT OUT WITH THE SILLIES SO VERY FUCKING WELL. GOD. good fucking show dude. good fucking show !!!!!! williams ghost throwing ice cubes at mark while his fucking. rotting corpse sits in the bathtub!!! what thefuck man

#ITS REALLY FUNNY LIKE. JUST HOW FUCKING EMO THIS SHOW MAKES ME. AND LIKE. SEASON 1 IS TAME. IF U CAN BELIEVE IT.#i know i keep hyping up season 2 but genuinely i have not full on sobbed at a show like i did at pd season 2 in so long.#like. could not listen to the show at work bc i fully could not stop myself from crying #and didnt want to do that outside the safety of my apartment type episodes.#ughhhhhh #HEY. ON THE BRIGHT SIDE. ONE OF MY FAVORITE MARK WINTERS MOMENTS HAPPENS AT THE BEGINNING OF THE NEXT EPISODE. ITS SO FUCKING SILLY.#also i have an animatic of it so i cant wait 2 send u that when u get there hehehehehe #im strategically not answering any of your questions about wiwi because if i start talking about him rn ill go crazy .#literally always thinking about wiwi wisp at all times every day #u come stand in the doorway of my room shaking like a chihuahua #and i am sitting here on the couch like. a fuckign . grizzled old pyrenees who has spent his life battling coyotes #asks #friends!!!#intertexts #UGHGHGHH GOING CRAZY ABOUT PRIME DEFENDERS FOREVER.#OH I CAN SEND YOU TRIVIA NOW. YIPPEE

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