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#which might be even worse for some
secretsimpleness · 11 months
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The disappointment.
Warden Surana, Morrigan / Dragon Age Origins (c) Bioware
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Thinking again about the actual description of Trent’s fate, specifically the “no word publicly”. It suggests that instead of the out-in-the-open sensationalized courtroom trial we’ve built up, Trent might have just gotten disappeared. A meeting with the king, a short and sharp internal affairs investigation, no release of information to citizens, simply a new archmage one day and everyone knew better than to ask what happened to the old one. It’s definitely A Timeline for Astrid and Caleb, and a much different relationship for them with the rest of the Assembly.
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23meteorstreet · 9 months
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charlie kelly - season 16
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a-s-levynn · 3 months
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So i had a dream last night which wasn't a nightmare and i even remember most of it! which is super exciting. I barely ever remember dreams that are just simply that so this is a fairly rare occasion for me.
It was weird tho
But it was.. i don't even know what it was so let me ramble about it in the tags a bit
#there was this bioluminescent and also biotoxic creature in a city at night#it was bipedal sort of humanoid shaped but with definitive deep sea features#it had that transparent skin and flesh and body with bioluminescing highlights#which i have no idea how it worked because the entire dream took place in a city enviroment on very much dry land but it's a dream innit#the face was definitely not human more a jumble of fishy features#it was gorgeous btw in a humanoid monster sort of fascinating way#it had this weird feel to it that it's something very old that should not be here now.. some sort of reminiscence of a bygone era#i might try to draw it but i don't know how successful i'd be to be honest#anyway so i was part of a group (don't know what kind exactly) and i never seen any of them i just knew they existed#and there was this innate knowledge that the creature was kind of hunting or more like luring us but we also were hunting it#i don't know if it did something to us before or we just had this unexplainable pull towards it but we definitely were fixated on it#and it was supposed to be a big threat even just by existing and walking around but also would have been bad if it was dead#but i don't know why was it so bad because the “toxicity” of the creature wasn't lethal it just made you stuck in a blissful delirious stat#just by being too close to it and which in most cases would fade when it moved away so the other alternative felt way worse#cuz if it would die something else would have gotten loose which would have been worse than the delirium#it was some sort of unstoppable deadly madness i think.. at least that was what i felt the dream eluded to#and i think we wanted to neutralize it somehow but we had no idea how to avoid disaster that surely would come if it dies#but it would have also revitalize nature on a basically divine scale by giving it's body back to it so there was this dilemma the whole tim#but none of us would have any answers so we just followed this inner draw regardless of the uncertainty#and the entire dream was basically us lureing the creature somewhere but simultaniously it was somehow luring us in as wel#to the same spot#it was a vast moonlit fieald outside of city bounds surrounded with tall dark trees and the sky was littered with stars#and a sharp cliff to one side#so we arrived there and we were standing on opposite sides and look towards each other#but looking into the creatures eyes literally woke me up#there was a noise it made and i know i understood it as words inside the dream but i can't remember what it was after waking just the noise#and that was it#it wasn't long i think tho it felt that way
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rowanthestrange · 4 months
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(Personal ‘Being A Certain Kind Of Autistic’ Moment:)
(You ever think you’re too hinged? I was gonna say for the internet but since covid so many of the neurotypicals in real life are actually worse.
Like someone has an inappropriately strong emotional reaction to the benign, and you’re like ‘okay they’re triggered, walk away with no eye contact’. Then you see other people doing it. And more and more. Not about the same things, different things, random things. And you’re just… Is it me? Am I too hinged?
I’m not saying I’m never triggered but I always tell myself ‘hey before you interact with anyone, stop being such a freak’ if I feel like I’m in danger of being rude to or about a Human Person. And I know that’s autism training, learning to catch yourself; but also clearly not everyone bothers, even the neurotypicals anymore hence irl situations where you’re just watching some 55 year old woman go off on a receptionist over literally nothing.
Like you’ll watch people stew themselves to a rolling boil over things they’ve…made up in their head? When they could just…not do that? Or could assume the best? Like they pre-order rage for things that haven’t even happened yet. Not like political things where you could argue that it could incentivise action but like raging about how film/book in a series/event is going to be so terrible, beyond simple mental prepping for disappointment.
It’s like I feel too mentally healthy compared to everyone else. But even plenty of irl people I know who absolutely wouldn’t consider themselves (or be considered by me as) mentally unwell in any regard are like this.
I know me having the flavour of autism where ‘everything has to have a reason, but when you understand what it is you don’t feel the need to be upset about it anymore’ kind of makes this worse. Because that’s not how real people feel things. But I dunno. Feels like it’s getting…more, doesn’t it? I mean it is, must be, had a Doctor Who episode kind of about it a week ago. But it’s got me feeling autistic alien again. Even on the autism site.)
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daz4i · 5 months
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didn't wanna ramble in the tags of another post so I'm making my own
you can't shame someone out of suicidal thoughts. sorry. I'm real glad for you if thinking "wait, I'm being lame right now" helped you out of suicidal ideation, but you can't turn that energy onto others and especially not at strangers
suicidal people struggle enough as is, you adding even more shame to the mix isn't gonna help anyone, and likely only make things worse
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brittlebutch · 3 months
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Desperately trying to make sense of Alex's motivations in Season Two and you know, I do eventually have to wonder if maybe Alex wasn't actually lying in the majority of those tapes.
Like, we tend to assume that Alex's motivations have been a consistent throughline since the college years, but do we actually know that that's the case? Do we know for sure that Alex was acting in deliberate, calculated ways in 2006; or could it be that he's telling the Truth on those olds tapes when he says he's blacking out and can't remember what's happening to anyone? After all, if we're assuming that Season 2 Alex's motivations are the exact same as his motives in Season 3, then it doesn't make any sense at all that he spend months working with Jay to try to find Amy; Season 3 Alex would have attempted to kill Jay like, on sight just to get things over with as quickly as possible and contain the spread of contamination as best as he could.
But, maybe, if Alex really had been separated from Amy after the events of the 04-04-10 tape, and if he really doesn't know where she is, then maybe that could make things start to make more sense. Maybe he really had been watching Jay's channel, and seeing Jay start going through the same things he went through in college without things devolving into violence and disappearances, and wondered if things maybe could play out differently this time. Maybe he really did send that tape to Jay to ask him for help, maybe he really was just trying to find Amy.
But then, instead of actually being helpful, Jay makes it extremely clear that he's a lot more interested in stalking Alex than he is in finding Amy. Alex asked for help, and instead there's a bunch of masked dudes on Jay's heels that keep attacking him, Jay is breaking into his house, stealing his things, leading the Operator right to him all over again, keeps trying to get other people (namely: Jessica -- if Alex is being honest when he says that his call reassuring her that Amy had been found was an effort to make Sure she stayed away from everything that was happening) involved; and instead of anything getting better, instead of anyone finding Amy, things are just getting worse all over again.
It's not until after the incident at the tunnel that things seem to start rapidly devolving. Rather than a calculated attempt to finally follow through with his need to curb the spread of contamination, this is very clearly an outburst of rage and terror. Alex's "I told you not to follow me" line in conjunction with Jay speculating that Alex didn't know who that guy was, to me, pretty firmly seems to speak to Alex having mistaken that stranger for Jay. From his point of view, Alex knows that Jay and totheark know where he live, have broken in before, he suspects that Jay stole a key to make it easier to get into his house, and he's been followed on the daily for months -- Alex is sitting at the tunnel because he doesn't know where else he can go without being constantly surveilled, hunted, and assaulted. And instead of getting a moment by himself to breathe, Jay followed him out there all over again (it feels like Alex looks directly at the camera in Jay's footage of him from this day; he knew for a fact that Jay was there), and then to make matters worse now 'Jay' won't even keep his distance anymore.
So Alex lashes out. And it's not until afterwards that he looks down and finally recognizes that this wasn't Jay -- it was someone completely innocent. Things have finally reached the low point he was at in college all over again; maybe even worse this time. If Alex doesn't remember attacking anyone in college, but he was at least partially conscious of it this time, then things have reached an entirely new rock bottom, they've reached an absolute point of no return.
He has no idea what happened to Amy, and he's spent months trying to find her with no hint of where she could be; he doesn't know where Jay actually is or what additional trouble he could be causing at this point; he does know that now innocent people are getting caught in the crossfire (in regards to the stranger in the tunnel, and also Jessica now that Jay has her phone number, and the untold number of people Jay got involved when he started posting videos to the Marble Hornets channel); things are spiraling out of control and there's no one left to ask for help. The situation isn't getting better, it's getting worse; things aren't getting easier to handle, they're just getting more out of hand; the negative impact is spreading and who knows how much further it can still go?
So, Alex decides to go scorched earth. He disfigures the body with the rock either to hide evidence or to make sure the guy would actually stay dead and not just get back up to start his own cycle of contamination in a few years. He tries to give Jay one last chance to back off, and Jay instead admits he's been talking to Jessica, acts obstinate and lies about not having Alex's spare key, and then breaks into Alex's house a second time (minimum). If Alex doesn't stop him now, who will? Alex met with Jay planning to kill the others, and then himself, so he could put a stop to this once and for all and keep things from getting any worse than they already were.
Maybe it makes a lot more sense if, rather than being a strangely incomprehensible detour on what should have been a straight path, the events of Season Two were the breaking point that put Alex on that path to begin with.
#N posts stuff#idk!!! I've been thinking a lot lately about the tendency to take Characters at Face Value; when they tell us things we tend to#automatically believe them despite what evidence we might have to the contrary. & like when it comes to deciphering what#went down during the college film project it's mostly totheark that posits that Alex was Definitely Lying and Definitely Acting on Purpose#(even Jay is largely ambivalent - wondering which way it leans and basically saying it could go either way)#but. do we KNOW that they know that? Do we Know that they're Right when they claim that? Or are they just Assuming based off#of their own rage and animosity towards Alex due to what happened? Do we Know for Sure that Alex Was Lying in s1?#i don't know if we do!! And so without Knowing that for sure; how can we speak to Alex's motivations in season one OR season two?#now TO BE CLEAR: I am not saying this in an attempt to claim that Alex is somehow completely innocent of all guilt and that like.#Jay is the 'Real Antagonist' of the series - not at all my intention. this is just More of my usual 'look. Everyone in this series is#all kinds of Morally Grey; no recurring character in this series is free of guilt they ALL have unique fatal flaws & trends towards#antagonism that makes things worse and dooms them all' shtick - a la 'everyone Thinks they're doing the Right Thing but No One Is'#BUT i Am wondering if this Does help to like. clear up some of the ambiguity/uncertainty of Season Two - and even Season One - and#lets the series as a whole read a little bit clearer? idk i know that Jay does Claim to think that Alex was bullshitting him#the whole time & was Actually planning on tying up loose ends the whole time but AGAIN it doesn't make Sense he'd wait so long#idk - Am i making sense? does any of this track? i'm trying to figure it out; i am open to comments on the subject to help#i haven't rewatched season 3 yet today and so maybe there's stuff in there that contradicts this whole theory lmao but i'm taking a break#and just posting this anyway; we'll see what happens lol#marble hornets#mh lb
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copaganda-clobberfest · 8 months
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So so so glad White Fang is already included because swear to god the number of racists in the fndm that see absolutely nothing wrong with "Rooster Teeth created a fantasy race of Animal people who all act like Animals and get treated like Animals by their human love interests and they've been an enslaved race until very recently and one of them was literally physically branded as the property of the White Germanic Multibillionaire Princess Protagonist, and humanity still discriminates against them and treats them like animals so they started to engage in disruptive protest like theft and property damage against abusive racist corporations, and so then they DESTROY AN ENTIRE FUCKING NATION AS VICIOUS VIOLENT EVIL TERRORISTS WHO WEAR MONSTER MASKS AND THE MAIN ONE (the one physically branded as the property of one of the protagonists) IS A LITERAL HATE SINK TURNED INTO AN ABUSIVE STALKING MURDEROUS INCEL WHO CARES MORE ABOUT HURTING THE OTHER UWU PROTAGONISTS THAN ABOUT HIS OWN PEOPLE WHO HE MURDERS BECAUSE THAT'S JUST WHAT REBELS AND FREEDOM FIGHTERS DO I GUESS by the way some of the writers and voice actors for the series literally said that they based the Faunus on black people and based the White Fang on the Black Panthers"
I can't post images on Anon and don't want to send this on main, but I have a screenshot of a note that, for several months, was listed in the 'Trivia' section of Adam Taurus's page on the Villains Wiki, which said "Adam's goals reflect that of certain real life groups in America in the 2010's, that claim to want equality when in fact they want control" iirc I don't remember word for word, point is, it was very obviously claiming that pro-racial justice groups are trying to take over through terrorism "just like the White Fang"
And I once received a long barrage of anonymous asks from somebody yelling at me that the White Fang arc wasn't at all racist, it was ACKSHULLY a "brave" and "Well written" story the Heroes at Rooster Teeth were telling, admitting to the "Unpopular Truth" that the Black Panthers and BLM were "violent reverse-racist terrorist groups" and he literally sent me like twenty asks vomiting genuine qanon shit into my inbox all about how evil the Black Panthers and BLM are and how the Noble Brave Heroic Rooster Teeth was "speaking truth the rabid SJW's don't want to hear" and "admitting things the Left doesn't want anyone to know" and they were PROUD OF ROOSTER TEETH FOR DOING IT
Meanwhile I *constantly* see people of color in the fndm get shut down, silenced, invalidated, talked over, smeared, harassed, lied about - all because they criticized the racist writing in rwby and particularly the White Fang. Whole ass white Karens will literally shut people of color down and "explain" to them how the White Fang arc couldn't POSSIBLY be racist because *it's not as if the whole story was made up by non-black writers who have histories of racism one of whom literally posted the N-Word on Twitter in fucking 2016 when the show was literally airing it's third season or anything....* /sarcasm Miles Luna did in fact post the N-Word on Twitter as a 26 year old adult in 2016 when RWBY was in it's third season.
And he did once refer to himself as a "White Guy" who didn't know shit about racism
And he and ALL his Rooster Teeth buddies have twenty years of video evidence of Rooster Teeth's content in which they're ALL fucking racist (the vast majority of RWBY's controlling creative team being comprised of Rooster Teeth management and "talent" and therefore having been prominent on-screen members of the team while they all have a grand old racist time togehter)
So yeah the White Fang arc is mind-staggeringly racist ON PAPER, two hundred times worse to watch it play out in execution, written by an openly racist asshole and produce by his Buddies who run an openly racist studio, and adored everywhere by unabashedly racist fans who literally apply the extreme copaganda found in the show to the real life people groups the writers based the White Fang and Faunus on.
It's sick to say the least
.
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hella1975 · 8 months
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not someone commenting on tams to tell me to update taob. what if you fucked off forever
#the actual nerve of some people like it's bad enough getting those kinds of comments ON taob#bc obviously any comment along the lines of 'im literally begging you to update' is gonna piss the fuck out of a writer#BUT TO DO IT ON A DIFFERENT FUCKING FIC????? HAVE A HORRIBLE DAY#and the fact these people not only dont think they're doing anything wrong but think they're COMPLIMENTING ME#'i love your writing so much please update taob' IS NOT A FUCKING COMPLIMENT. LET ALONE ON A FIC THAT HAS NO RELEVANCE TO TAOB#WITH NO MENTION OF TAMS IN THE COMMENT EITHER. NO 'I REALLY LIKE THIS FIC. UPDATE TAOB' not that that would make it okay#but the utter audacity of it all is jarring. how are you gonna clearly have read tams and felt the need to comment#just to have NOTHING to say about it and tell me to update a different fic. actually fuck off#ending the comment with 'okay i love you' do you now. do you really. well it's unrequited babe. fuck off#you people make me mad sometimes istg#'hella why are you always so negative about taob's popularity' when i get something good out of it i'll let you know#edit: they left that comment on ch1 of tams which actually implies they didn't even read it which is somehow. worse#like they've clearly just clicked on it with no regard for the passion and effort i put into it seeing as it's a WHOLE SEPERATE FIC#and considered only that i might give the comment more attention if it was on tams not taob. what the actual fuck is the thought process#in what WORLD is someone taking that as a compliment. in what world am i gonna go 'omg writing it rn just for you bestie 🥺'#actually fuming about this idk why this one has got to me so much the utter CHEEK of it all has really knocked me sideways lmaooo
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pocketramblr · 2 months
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Really dark topic, but what do you think would it take for Enji (pre-AM retirement, obviously) to threaten to, or legit kill Rei, mindcontrolling quirks aside?
mind-controlling quirks aside... i don't think he would threaten to kill her. he'd basically never have something to gain from killing her that he couldn't get some other far easier and less risky way. If she was able to prevent him from abusing Shoto, or threatened to take him/all the kids away, Enji could very much threaten divorce, institutionalization, maybe even arrest, but he can stop her from doing that without threatening to kill her.
If Enji were to kill her, which could happen, i don't think it'd be premeditated. But he has hit her before, and Rei isn't exactly going to do great with heat or flame, so if she intervened at the wrong time in the dojo... it's plausible enough i'd accept it as a fic premise.
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coquelicoq · 8 months
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i just saw someone say that "the vast majority of the userbase is complaining" about tumblr's recent layout change. i see this a lot after a change: people complaining about it (sometimes without saying what about it is bad, making it sound like either it's self-evident (it usually is not) or just that it's bad because it's change and change is always bad) and saying that everyone else is complaining about it too. i don't know how to tell you this but a) you don't follow every user on tumblr so how can you possibly know what "everyone" or "the majority of users" thinks about anything and b) ONLY THE PEOPLE WHO FEEL VERY STRONGLY ARE TALKING ABOUT IT!! people who are not bothered are not spending time posting about how unbothered they are! please look up "selection bias" and stop making me read this nonsense with my own eyeballs.
#i don't get what's so bad abt this change bc it doesn't bother me & no one is explaining it! the most i've seen is it's 'like twitter'#which people don't like i guess bc this might imply that tumblr could be taking more cues from twitter than just the layout?#which is also fallacious reasoning#some changes i do hate. like for instance the change that made it so i can no longer click to the version that someone rbed from#which breaks the prev tag culture :(#but some changes are whatever! and some changes are good even!!#it's fine if it takes time to get used to something being different of course but it seems like the reaction on here can be so extreme#so fast. 'bombard the app with 1-star reviews!!!!' how about you give it a couple weeks and maybe you'll calm down.#i think there's a sense of 'if it ain't broke don't fix it' but it is broke though! tumblr is unsustainable and they gotta do stuff to make#the site more attractive and easier to use for new users. they can do that without losing what makes tumblr tumblr#the layout is not what makes tumblr tumblr! the functionality is. and sometimes that does change for the worse#and i get having complaints about that. but not really about moving the location of some buttons#anyway i haven't said anything before because i don't have strong feelings about this UX change but i DO have strong feelings about#the vague yet very forceful complaints about the UX change that i keep seeing lol#tumblr#fallacies#anyway don't get distracted by my tags. this post is not really about me not understanding what's so bad about this specific change#it's about people who hate a change assuming that everyone agrees with them because they're only seeing the reactions from#a biased subset of the userbase#(by biased i don't mean the users are biased. i mean the sample is biased...it's highly likely to include people who feel strongly#and unlikely to include people who are neutral or feel less strongly)
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july-19th-club · 3 months
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love season 2. i'm concussions! and i'm psychic visions! the headache brothers
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fukever · 3 months
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Changing from a humanities degree (especially from a language degree) to a science degree really makes you realise how homophobic the average czech youth really is huh 🤡
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perenlop · 3 months
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back when this series first dropped i remembered it really bothered me that people called satogou "firstfriendshipping" cause it ignored chloe's presence in the group as goh's actual first friend, and yknow it sorta had "ignore the girl so only the boys matter" vibes, but see now i can't even be too annoyed about that cause in retrospect it's not like the show itself gives a fuck about chloe or considers her goh's friend
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builtintripping · 9 months
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Hey! I love the concept of your forgor AU, so I was wondering...
We kind of know the reactions to the Timmy's friends. But what about Crocker and the rest of the Evil Syndicate? Would they be happy? Or weirded out? Disappointed?
ooooHHH INTERESTING QUESTION!! THANKS SO MUCH FOR ASKING!!
I already answered about Crocker's reaction, but basically he only vaguely rembers Timmy having Fairy Godparents. Da Rules affected him somehow but not as directly as on Timmy since he's still passionate about hunting fairies down whether Timmy's involved or not. Sooooo he's still salty around the kid. He just targets him less than he used to.
As for the rest, they probably don't even notice (or care) about Timmy forgoring lawl. If they did, it would be convenient for them cause that's one less ally of their nemesis should the Syndicate and the NU Gang ever engage in battle once again. Unless they actually turned into a new leaf, which could yield interesting results...
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pastafossa · 1 year
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so i've asked briefcasejuice about this already but i'd also like your take too - since you're part of the daredevil tumblr fandom council and all ...
I'm writing this scene and one of my ocs asks matt if he can handle spicy food and i wanted him to explain this whole thing about pain receptors in his mouth being "sensitive"... and how he hated pineapple because of the bromelain...(the substance that breaks up the protein in your mouth, that's why it's tingly)
and then my oc asks about like regular "body" pain since touch is after all one of the senses of his that have been heightened, and he explains something along the lines of even if the feeling of pain is heightened -- his body isn't actually weaker or more sensitive - so while he gets injured like anyone else he feels the pain of those injuries differently (more). over time he has gotten used to it but its still something he's working on as he hurts himself worse with every fight.
WHAT I'M GETTING AT is that i came to @briefcasejuice about this because they're very knowledgeable about matt stuff and comic matt especially, and they told me it did sound pretty accurate - so now i guess i just want to know -
how do you interpret or view matt's sensibility when it comes to pain - and if it came up in TRT (which maybe it did and i forgot oops?) how would you write it out?
and btw - congrats on the mango thing!! what's next on the fruit discovery journey 🤨 (what else can i be shocked that you didn't try)
Ok first of I love the idea of a Daredevil tumblr fandom council, because now I've got the image of all of us gathered solemnly to talk about DD fandom topics and headcanons like
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Second off, ooooh this is a good question. I can't remember if I've ever gotten deep into it in TRT, although it'll probably come up eventually. But I absolutely agree with @briefcasejuice, and with your take on it. This seems right, for a couple reasons, including my own experience with pain.
So a lot of this is based on my own issues (and one of the reasons I relate really strongly to Matt's sense of touch, touch starvation, and pain, and when writing generally include him being comforted and going near comatose beneath gentle touch). Without getting too specific, due to chronic pain and health problems, I experience something called allodynia - "pain due to a stimulus that does not normally provoke pain." Basically, my nerves are all spun up to 11 and even light sensation often reads as pain, regardless of whether I'm actually hurt - Matt's comment about 'cotton feels like sandpaper on my skin'? I get that, cause rough fabric's painful to me (another ex: put icy hot on my skin once, just about clawed it off my arm because I was convinced something had gone wrong and it was burning me). And on bad days, even very soft fabrics or, hell, a breeze, any sensation anywhere I have nerves feel like bits of glass grinding into a burn. Best explanation I have for a really bad day. And we know Matt's sense of touch is heightened. So I often think he feels a lot like me, and how you described it feels right.
Everything hurts more, even if you're not being hurt more, and even if your body's strong enough physically to take whatever's being done. Physically, there's no reason his body can't handle cotton sheets, or a food with acid, and God knows the man can take a punch. Functionally, his body is fine. But his nerves don't act that way. They send way more signals than they need to, and sure, this helps if he's trying to use them to his own advantage, but it also means he's left wide open to a far higher degree of pain from stimuli that most of us would consider more minor (pineapple, in this case) along with the pain we all regularly avoid.
Does he mostly block it out? Yes. Especially on a day to day, to the point where he may actually miss smaller injuries because he's focused on tuning out other, larger pains. I know I do - your brain eventually just goes 'oh new baseline and I still need to live so Imma put everything below it into the background so it doesn't stop us doing what we need to'. I hug people, I touch things that are rough, I use hot water with the dishes, and if I focus on it, I remember that it hurts a bit, but I've learned to tune that out for the most part. Much like me, Matt's dealt with this for years, so while he does what he can (soft sheets, avoiding certain foods, wearing certain types of clothes), he's gotten used to a lot of the day to day stuff he can't avoid, though like you said, as the injuries pile up, it just gets worse and worse as that pain stacks. Some of it might be tempered by surges of adrenaline and endorphins (why I theorize he can fight even when injured - tune it out thanks to all the practice, PLUS fighting so ferociously that his body pumps him up until he can ignore it, at least until he crashes afterwards, and crashes hard), but he's definitely feeling it far, far worse.
So I basically think it's likely, especially when pain is stacking, that he's just made a bunch of calculations for his everyday life on what's worth the pain and what isn't - certain foods? No point. Cotton sheets? No point. There is no benefit, and so he comfortably avoids it, whereas going out to fight he generally always sees as worth it since there's a tangible benefit. Those calculations at least are something we all do every day - we decide the pain of a tattoo or working out or that sour candy is worth it cause it gives us something we like. Matt just takes it up to 11. I can absolutely see him taking something like, say, pineapple - tingly and acidic - and not only feeling pain when eating it but also just literally running the mental math and going, 'yeah not worth it' because he's in enough pain day to day thanks to injuries and other things he can't avoid.
In summary: you're right and I headcanon Matt operates much like someone who's been dealing with allodynia for a while, which means he'd feel more pain from stimuli even if it's not hurting him, so he chooses things in his day-to-day to avoid and then just throws himself into the pain on big things and hopes the endorphins and adrenaline will help him tune it out.
LASTLY THANK YOU ON THE MANGO! I cannot BELIEVE I went so long without knowing how fucking delicious they were. New fruits I haven't tried that are on my list now that I realized I need to find if there are MORE DELICIOUS UNKNOWNS LIKE MANGOS: boysenberries, figs, grapefruit, guava, kumquats, passionfruit, papaya, prickly pears, and satsumas!
#daredevil#matt murdock#headcanon#allodynia#this is how i treat matt's dealing with pain anyway#i know it's not exact so i often make some adjustments#but there's just things he's said or done that resonate too much for my brain not to go 'like me??? matt is like me???'#which is strangely comforting#and so i've used a lot of personal experience to fill in the gaps on how he might operate in his day to day#and how he might function#in that he's YES more sensitive to pain even if there's not technically more pain#he just FEELS it more and his nerves TELL him it hurts more even if it's NOT hurting more#on the up (down?) side he can probably stand getting stitched up easily because he's felt way WAY more pain so it barely registers#because he's so used to tuning out even more pain so his brain's used to filing that away#BUT#when his concentration is down or he's tired that gets harder#same during injury stacking which'll only get worse as he gets older#either way he'd look at shit like pineapple and just go 'uh no that hurts I'll pass' because there's no good reason to eat it#we joke about matt's catholicism making him suffer and I joke about it too but#i think in reality he'd do these subtle little avoids for stuff like this unless he was REALLY depressed or in I Am Stick mode#or just has a good reason#and on some bad days he probably can't stand being touched tbh and would barely be able to drink room temp water (cold = pain)#at least it means the reverse it true - he'd absolutely melt beneath gentle touch or pleasant things or fleecy soft fabric#and sometimes even on bad days if you touch him *very* gently he'll tolerate the pain because he knows#that the oxytocin he gets from affectionate touch helps dull the sting just a little#(i realize this sounds bad ya'll can hug me if you see me at the con i won't turn them down i like hugs they're worth the sting)
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