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#white men can't jump 2023
cyarsk5230 · 5 months
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blackloveeeee
May 20
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SINQUA WALLS & TEYANA TAYLOR White Men Can’t Jump (2023), dir. Calmatic
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kcyars189 · 5 months
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blackloveeeee
May 23
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TEYANA TAYLOR & SINQUA WALLS White Men Can't Jump (2023), dir. Calmatic
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cyarskaren1999-blog · 6 months
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blackloveeeee 
May 20
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SINQUA WALLS & TEYANA TAYLOR White Men Can’t Jump (2023), dir. Calmatic
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I can't believe Lance Reddick's last role will be the white men can't jump remake.
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afrotumble · 1 year
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harlowgifs · 11 months
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90363462 · 2 months
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house-of-mirrors · 10 months
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On Unconscious Bias in Evolution (Under the cut for discussion of racism)
[Disclaimer that I am white]
I know the game doesn't get into time period discrimination, but the story is called Evolution, the protagonist is a Black man, and the Great Chain already functions as a metaphor for Social Darwinism. Instead of this story challenging the Great Chain, the game presents a narrative in which the only way to escape this oppressive system of predeterminism is to go through torture and sacrifice your humanity, and for whatever reason the revolutionaries are on the side of 'fate' on this one. Ignoring everything else that I'm about to discuss, it was jarring for me because the theme of the games in recent years generally has been "Great Chain bad and you have the power to be whatever you want"
I tried to think of how many other named Black men characters there are in the game. I can only think of the Bishop of St Fiacre's off the top of my head, but he isn't human, and… steals faces. How about Black women? Horatia comes to mind right away… and she's in a caretaking/housekeeper role. Hm. Oh yes and the Implacable Detective is a cop
This is a horror game, and most characters will not have a happy ending. However, I feel like the Youthful Naturalist got a much bleaker story than most of the characters in FL. Railway had multiple methods for saving Furnace at the end, but Evolution had powerlessness. The Youthful Naturalist also experiences more visceral body horror than many other characters in the game. If you get down to it, it's a story about a Black man suffering and failing to escape suffering. I might feel different if he wasn't one of the only Black characters. While typing this post, I realized becoming the boatman means being forced into servitude... Yikes™️
When I pick apart work, I try to be gracious and assume ignorance instead of jumping to maliciousness. Given that fbg is mostly white authors, it's likely no one stopped to consider how this would come across. Imagine you're sitting down to write a story, you plot it out and decide a character happens to belong to a certain minority group. Here, we have a story exploring a loose end in HD and the shapeling arts with a main character that happens to be Black. Tropes have vastly different origins and consequences for different demographics, however. A story about being forced into fate and servitude has worse implications and ties to real-world oppression for a Black character than a white character. Once I saw someone describe fbg with "clumsy attempts at diversity" and yeah!
I'm not saying you can't write minorities in horror. The horror genre belongs to all of us and the alternative is only having white dude characters forever. You just gotta be aware of pitfalls, especially when you're writing about a demographic you aren't a part of. Especially when you have hardly any other characters of that demographic.
I'd like not to believe the writers had intention to come across poorly, but that's why it's called unconscious bias. Creators need to do their due diligence with sensitivity and bias training. In 2023, there's no excuse for it in a world where you can quickly google "racist tropes in the horror genre." Stop for a second while writing and reflect on how you're portraying a character from a demographic you aren't a part of. I do it all the time in my own work. As fiction writers, we create a world where anything can happen, and it's essential to carefully consider diversity and inclusion.
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rogerdeakinsdp · 4 months
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A YEAR IN REVIEW: CREATIONS OF 2023
Post your favorite and most popular post from each month this year (it's okay to skip months).
I was tagged by @pascow and @madeline-kahn thank you both so much <33
JANUARY MOST POPULAR: Angela Bassett in How Stella Got Her Groove Back (11.2k) FAVORITE: Angela Bassett in How Stella Got Her Groove Back (costume design)
FEBRUARY MOST POPULAR: Angela Bassett in What's Love Got to Do with It (3.5k) FAVORITE: Pamela Anderson in Barb Wire
MARCH MOST POPULAR: The Matrix trivia (13.3k) FAVORITE: Jawbreaker (female cinematographers)
APRIL MOST POPULAR: Drew Barrymore in Wayne's World 2 (4k) FAVORITE: From Dusk Till Dawn
MAY MOST POPULAR: The Matrix (3.5k) FAVORITE: White Men Can't Jump
JUNE MOST POPULAR + FAVORITE: To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar (6.1k)
JULY MOST POPULAR: Barb Wire (1k) FAVORITE: Olga Kurylenko in The Courier
AUGUST MOST POPULAR + FAVORITE: Uptown Girls (2.8k)
SEPTEMBER MOST POPULAR: Friends (671) FAVORITE: Park So-dam in Special Delivery
OCTOBER MOST POPULAR: Donnie Darko (2.8k) FAVORITE: Amanda Seyfried in In Time
NOVEMBER MOST POPULAR: 8 Mile (2.1k) FAVORITE: Bride of Chucky
DECEMBER MOST POPULAR: Seed of Chucky (1.6k, the set I tried to bury) FAVORITE: Matthew Lillard in Hackers
tagging (no pressure :3): @leofromthedark, @acecroft, @anthonysperkins, @antoniosbanderas
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vyhurz · 11 months
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Sinqua Walls in Gucci at the 'White Men Can't Jump' Los Angeles Premiere (2023)
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thottybrucewayne · 1 year
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A LIST OF PEOPLE WHO ARE GOING TO HELL: 2023 EDITION, LETS GOOOOOOOO!!!!
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Anybody that's still dick gobblin JK Rowling. At this point yall can't be saved. Perish. Yall be going two hand twist Teanna Trump full throttle on her shit 24/7 365 and for what? A children's book series that really should have stopped being relevant the second yall heard the bitch was bumping coochies with terfs on Twitter dot com? Be serious
Anybody that defended Tory Lanez. But especially the niggas that were 10 toes down and nipple deep in conspiracy theories because they were too pussy to admit they just wanted to participate in the harassment of a Black woman. You going to the hottest part of hell if you really believe that "roc nation got him!" Or any other bullshit
White leftists who hold zero community with Black people either online or irl but wanna act like world renowned Doctors of Niggalogy the second they hear about anything a Black leftist is doing. I'm fitting yall for some gasoline draws as we speak
White tiktokkers. Yall showed yall ass so bad last year that you all gotta go at this point. Yall getting packed like sardines and will be down there within 2 to 3 business minutes
Like 99.999999999999999% of anime/manga fans. You niggas are so deeply unserious about everything to the point where a prominent figure in the anime news community was exposed for being a literal "ex" neo nazi and yall tried to sneak forgive him 2 months later because "everyone makes mistakes" you're spineless and weak and I'm spitting in your eye before I pull the lever to the flaming depths below
Speaking of anime, anyone who was involved with anime abridged series but especially in the 2010s. Yall are going to the front of the line. I ain't forget what yall was doing with Canary from hxh
Anybody who is ridiculously overly critical of the "state of female rap" but refuse to speak on these mid tier male rappers that be stinking up the girls records with they features
Paula Abdul and Jlo. They both know why.
Anyone who makes Ike and Tina/Whitney and Bobby jokes
Anyone who thinks up north and Cali aren't racist. 9 times outta 10 you are the embodiment of northerner/cali racists we be talkin about
Anyone who argues that slur reclamation makes a word not a slur anymore. A. That's not how that works B. Now I know why yall wanna say nigga so bad
Anybody who still listens to them nsfw anime boyfriend audios on the public library computers. You and the dude on xvideos a seat over from you are 2 sides of the same coin
Batman "fans" who say shit like "why doesn't he just kill the joker?" Yall add nothing new to the conversation like ever and its literally painful to talk to you
Anyone who takes hoteps, Dr. Umar, or DJ akademiks seriously. You was born a fool and you'll die a fool
Niggas with podcasts. Enough
Whoever keeps coming up with them twitter hypotheticals that rule every conversation within the Black community for a solid week. I'm convinced you are a psyop tasked with sowing chaos within the Black community. You must be terminated.
Anybody who recommends me corny ass cornball corn on the cob ass media then expect me to like it. Cause like....what you trying to say?
VAUSH
Yall nbs who keep jumping up to defend raceplay/slaveplay in any kink based controversy on here even though nobody was fuckin talkin about raceplay/slaveplay
Reylos. Self explanatory.
Booktokkers and Booktok authors
Niggas who eat chitlins but are picky about other food. Slurp them doodoo noodles in hell, babes.
People who think "blackwashing" is real. Self explanatory.
Men who look like they smell like cold spit and earring backs who talk cash shit about fat women. Yall gonna be roasted on a spit and I'll be turning it.
Pickmes. You've finally been picked! To burn in the lake of fire for all eternity.
And finally, anybody and I mean ANYONE who is still doing stupid shit like licking subway poles for attention. I hope all 8 million diseases of the naked city on that damn pole attack your immune system and breaks you down on a molecular level till theres nothing left.
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kudosmyhero · 7 months
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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (vol. 1) #5: Teaming Up with Fugitoid
Read Date: February 23, 2023 Cover Date: October 1985 ● Writer: Kevin Eastman ◦ Peter Laird ● Pencils: Kevin Eastman ◦ Peter Laird ● Inks: Kevin Eastman ◦ Peter Laird ● Letterer: Kevin Eastman ●
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**HERE BE SPOILERS: Skip ahead to the fan art/podcast to avoid spoilers
Reactions As I Read: ● doesn't appear to be shading in this issue. just pure black ink over white background. it works, though ● I didn't know Honeycutt/Fugitoid's story started way back with the first few Mirage issues
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● the triceratop-headed soldiers are kinda cool looking ● a little announcement in the middle of the comic. it's cute seeing the creators so excited about announcing the toys and animated series. I don't blame them for being excited--Turtlemania hit fast and hard! ● 👏👏
Synopsis: The Turtles are teleported by the Utroms' Transmat device to the alien city of Peblak. As soon as they arrive, the Turtles are confronted by armed soldiers (who are here to capture the Fugitoid). Since the Turtles don't notice the robot standing behind them, they decide to defend themselves and attack the gunmen. As the battle erupts, the Fugitoid punches a hole through a wall and invites the turtles join him as they flee from the ever-growing number of soldiers. The group makes it to a rooftop with the military in hot pursuit—their only chance for escape is to jump from the top of the structure into a garbage truck far below. The Fugitoid is afraid of heights, but the turtles take him with them as they make the leap.
After a short ride where the turtles are shocked by the sights of the alien planet, the team makes it to cover and the Fugitoid explains to them where they are and who he is. The turtles agree to an alliance with the robot as they're "all in the same boat," being pursued by the authorities. The group decides to head for a spaceport near the sea. Leonardo laments that they've finally found a world where they can walk out in the open without fear of people being frightened by their appearance, but they can't do so because the military is hunting them.
Meanwhile, both General Blanque and the Triceratons plot to capture the Fugitoid.
Our protagonists head into a bar to try to find some information and assistance, but are spotted by the soldiers. A bar brawl breaks out and then the Triceratons show up in force and capture the Fugitoid. The Turtles steal an air car and go after the Triceratons who are taking the robot back to their base. Sadly the team is spotted by a squad of Triceratons and an air battle ensues. The Turtles' car is hit and they're forced to bail out from a great height. Fortunately, a thick canopy of trees breaks their fall and no one is seriously injured. When the lads fully recover, they find that General Blanque's men are in an all out war with the Triceraton troops. Through the chaos, Leo spots a Triceraton carrying the Fugitoid into a structure. The turtles scramble to help their newfound friend.
Unfortunately the structure turns out to be a ship, and it blasts off into outer space. The Triceratons try to sweet talk the Fugitoid into creating the Transmat for them as the ship approaches the gigantic Triceraton base. Meanwhile, the Turtles are trapped in a cargo bay of the craft and discover that it doesn't contain gravity… or oxygen!
(https://turtlepedia.fandom.com/wiki/Teaming_Up_with_Fugitoid)
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Fan Art: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle by kevintolibao
Accompanying Podcast: ● Shellheads - episode 07
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: Besides from us going to be able to be knowing all about for getting every single thing of all of the books, toys, all of the other stuff from all of the movies of this summer of 2023 as merchandise as well as for all of us doing everything else for the fandom such as fan edits, cosplay, fanfiction, fanart, fandubs, commentary reactions, etc. from Pixar's Elemental, The Little Halle Bailey Mermaid, Ruby Gillman "Normal Teenager" Teenage Kraken, Spiderman : Across The Spider Verse, Transformers : Rise Of The Beasts, Teenage Mutant Turtles : Mutant Mayhem, and Barbie : The Movie (The Wizard Of Oz + Female Buddy The Elf + The Lego Movie Prequel with The Man From Upstairs who runs a Mattel company, etc.), Fast X (my dad watched this one when it was first ever released online as a cam corded version somewhere from the release date for the movie), Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3, The Flash movie, there is other stuff that some of us like myself have not ever heard of such as The Blackening, Joy Ride: The Movie, Gran Turismo, White Men Can't Jump (it is out in the internet, but I do not know much, since I have not watched the movie yet), About My Father, The Machine, You Hurt My Feelings, The Boogeyman, Extraction 2, Asteroid City, No Hard Feelings, Insidious : The Red Door, Mission Impossible : Dead Reckoning Part 1, Oppenheimer, They Cloned Tyrone, The Haunted Mansion (I am not so sure about if it is safe to be able to watch it, since I have a good faint of heart after I watched the official trailer for the movie that I did not laugh at, or scream, or anything at all, but it lead me to uneasy second thoughts, since this one, and a brand new tv show series is coming to Disney Plus called Pretty (an adjective, but it is a name of a boy) Freaking (a normal girl who is named Frankie who somehow took a horrid trip to the real underworld which is runned by a first ever female version of The Grim Reaper who gives Frankie tasks for when she comes back from the dead, and just got powers, and now has streaks of white in her hair unlike before, etc.) Scary (another adjective, but it is a name of a girl), if I watch this show that does not remind me of Fairly Odd Parents, but it does of Danny Phantom, but in a fear factor, or in fact anyone else will be able to choose to do it, this will be able to have to give me, of anyone total nightmare fuel unlike from all of the other stuff that Disney Channel has been doing for 40 years even the logo, and the poster looks retro like it was back in all of the days of the 1980s for when this channel all began leading to the 1990s, the 2000s, and the 2010s way before we have to the 2020s, and all of the other decades after), Talk To Me, The Meg 2 : The Trench, The Last Voyage Of The Demeter, Back On The Strip, Strays (the 2D style should have been for the movie instead of the stereotypical live action with talking animals that we are going to be able to get in this movie), White Bird, Lift, Love Again, Book Club : Next Chapter, BlackBerry, Rally Road Racers, Hypnotic, The Starling Girl, and The Mother! :
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: (A new scene of the movie has just been found (I guess that this was one of the things that Wade Ripple, and Ember Lumen did for their more exciting Memorial Day than how we had spent, I wonder what else that they did on that day along with how they would be able to be celebrating all of the national days, and all of the other holidays that we have in the calendar, it is the image from the little golden book that Wade Ripple is wearing with a nice pair of geeky nerdy glasses, a pretty tutu with two straps with one each side for the left, and the right of someone's arms for keeping it on in place for when someone like him wears it to take it on, and off with flags attached to the tutu piece, a little tiny bell hanging on a necklace, a wig, a cute 🧣 that it is almost too close to be able to true to the business causal tie that is from his other fancy outfit (👔) over the stylish sophisticated bow tie that he wore to the Cannes Festival in France, and two foam hands that he put one on each side to be able to act like the perfect gloves so that way he does not have anything happening to him at all such as when he was trying to give Ember a sporty 🧢, it did not go so well as he planned for this to be, since because Ember smoked everything again like how Wade's yellow bag was, I do not know why they used a far away shot to see the 💥, but I hope that this description is able to get what I just said to you all), if there is a longer version of the one that is shown 👆, I wonder how that will be able to look like besides from all of what this snippet of this source has so far to include in the longer version of this original material from wherever it could be able to found from) :
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: (Nevermind with what I just said before, I just encountered this 👆 today, but before the video shows us the movie, it does show of Coco, The Incredibles 1, and 2, Up, Inside Out 1, Monsters University, Ratatouille, Brave, Toy Story 1, 2, 3, and 4, Finding Nemo, and Dory, Cars 1, 2, and 3, and Wall-E (way to go to show off these, but what is then forgetting to be able to put of all of the other stuff that is from this brand there because that is like how they put out of merchandise for these movies that I just listed, but not of the ones that are the 7 forgotten, but they have to be able to make sure that they still exist for keeping them alive than dead which that are not here on the video, but I hope that we all can be able to continue in the present, and future to be able to do everything like we have so far get all of the merchandise from all of the past, all of the present, and all of the future for the following of toys, books, etc. of building up the entire collection of these following which are A Bug's Life, The Good Dinosaur, Onward, Soul, Luca, Turning Red, and Lightyear, even if Elemental, and all of the future stuff that is from Pixar falls there, it is okay, but if it goes to the other list, it is sure to be a gift even with all of these 7/8/however much it would be besides from all of the mentioned mass production of the previous 18 ish I just said to you all after Elemental, I hope that these can be able to be inserted into their own games, and all of the other games, and all of the other stuff that we have so far that they can be able to put in) ! )
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: I get the part of knowing that we are not supposed to be able to be playing with 🔥, but does anyone notice that it looks like Wade can be able to drip with the way that he makes of his own sweat of not the surrounding heat turned up on him, but of a situation that he can be able to be in, does anyone also know what the rest of the saying 👆 means by how come that unless someone is💧, he/she gets to be able to play with fire because even if someone like Wade might be made out of water, he could still be able to feel fire as pain, plus there is new footage 👆 there as well! :
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: Part 2 in my next post!
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anotherrevue · 3 months
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The Top Movies of 2023
Every year I feel like I write the same spiel about the truly concerning  number of movies that I compulsively watched, and then make false promises about being more intentional about my film-watching and my blog-writing. But fear not, there's no overwrought analysis of my film watching this year, just an assurance that, for once, I have stayed true to my word and reduced my annual total by a sizable chunk. It was, however, still a lot. 
Truth be told, I've been trying to write this wrap-up for weeks now, but I found myself enveloped in the gloom that sets in during the first few weeks of any year, except this time the fog seems denser than ever. This is not a reflection on the state of movies right now though. While everything else has either gone to shit or currently in the process, movies have not been this good in 4 years. We're lucky to have some incredible filmmakers return to peak form (Marty S) and others showcase their talent for the first time (Celine Song). 
But this was also the year where domestically (The Kerala Story) and internationally (The Sound of Freedom), we saw an uptick in the mainstream success of conservative films built on the premise that the right-wing needs to go save good innocent people who are being taken advantage of by the savages. And shamelessly, people bought into this mediocre (at best) pandering, simply because it reinforces their narrow world view. As someone who constantly whines about the death of big dumb cinema, if this is the future of spectacle film, I might just be out on it.
Apologies to American Fiction, Poor Things, Ferrari, You Hurt My Feelings, The Boy and the Heron, The Holdovers and All of Us Strangers (all of which I have not yet seen), to Showing Up, King of Kotha, Marlowe, Your Lucky Day, The Boys in the Boat and The Last Voyage of the Demeter (all of which I saw and desperately wanted to love) and to myself for deciding to watch Ghosted, Heart of Stone, White Men Can't Jump and Salaar against my better judgement. 
Here are my top 27 movies of 2023:
27. Bottoms 
26. Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves
25. Neelavelicham
24. A Man Called Otto
23. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem
22. Barbie
21. LOLA
20. Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny
19. Air
18. John Wick: Chapter 4
17. Sanctuary
16. Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning
15. Oppenheimer 
14. Anatomy of a Fall
13. Rye Lane
12. Biosphere
11. Flora & Son
10. Evil Dead Rise
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2023 was a spectacularly disappointing year for horror. The biggest hit of the year was Talk to Me, a movie that I liked but is so overwhelmingly despondent that it drowned out the scary aspects of it. Evil Dead Rise on the other hand harkens back to the classic horror franchise format, taking a tried and tested premise (cocky young person accidentally summons the dead) and putting it in an unpredictable new setting (a high rise building). It strikes the perfect balance between nightmarish, gruesome and goofy that makes you yelp and giggle all at once.
9. 2018
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This is the type of peak Bruckheimer/Simpson disaster flick that just went away 10 years ago, only scaled down to fit the Malayalam film industry. Does that take away at all from the melodrama or spectacle? Not even a bit. It's incredibly well made and well-balanced emotionally, and the ingenuity of the production design ensures that it will continue to hold-up visually in years to come.
8. Maestro
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If we put aside Bradley Cooper's obvious thirst for acknowledgement by the Academy and just look at Maestro on its own, you might get a glimpse of a movie that bends the classic Oscar bait biopic template to its own absurd ends. It's not a "cradle to grave" story nor does it limit its scope to a small, well-defined period in Leonard Bernstein's life. Instead it's much more impressionistic and formally inventive, giving the viewer a feel for who the man was in all aspects of his life. It's in direct conversation with the template of the "great man" biopic, starting down the path of each trope only to veer delightfully off course, whether that's by sidestepping into a dance sequence or literally running away just when a scene starts to feel too cliché.
7. Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret.
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As a person who cannot stand kid angst, I went into this movie expecting to like it with some reservations, which is very much how I felt about Kelly Fremon Craig's previous movie, The Edge of Seventeen. But Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret. rises above the cringey uncomfortable moments we've come to expect from a coming of age story. It's wholesome and heartfelt, but with enough of a bite to it to overcome the usual allegations of saccharinity that are hurtled at a movie of this sort. It's finally perfect, with some great kid performances, and even greater showings from the adults. In particular, Rachel McAdams takes what could have been a put-upon harried mom role and adds just enough humour and sparkle to make her character feel fully fleshed out, without making the whole movie about her.
6. How to Blow Up a Pipeline
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Every year there's a movie that feels like it's ripped from the inside of my skull. How to Blow Up a Pipeline is exactly that. It's not for everyone (people have been known to zone out in the first 15 minutes) because it's an intense, violent story about trying to spark a revolution. Here's the thing about this movie, it believes in the power of direct action against corporations. And so do I.
5. Afire
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The latest film from Christian Petzold is on this list precisely for that reason. From the first time I watched Phoenix, I realised this was a director I'd want to be following closely. His movies are often strange and unpredictable, unfaltering in their portrayal of the weakest aspects of human nature while still somehow tying together and extremely compelling plot. Afire is to me the strangest of the lot, which is really saying something because his last movie was about a mermaid.
4. Polite Society
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Nida Manzoor is not yet a household name, but I can't imagine that'll be the case for much longer. I was first introduced to her work in the excellent British punk rock comedy show We Are Lady Parts (which is about a group of British Muslim girls who start a punk band), and Manzoor brings that culture clash chaos into Polite Society. It manages to take a love of old-school film stunts, an iconic Bollywood number and quick-fire dialogue and roll all that up into an irresistibly charming story about sisterhood.
3. Kaathal: The Core
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You might be able to argue that 2018 is on this list because of pure sentimentality and my personal attachment to Kerala. It's my list after all, my predispositions will be on display. Kaathal is not on here for those reasons. It's here because it's a heartfelt, earnest depiction of what being gay might mean in rural Kerala, and it somehow walk the tightrope between idealism and realism in a way that gives the audience hope that the unconditional acceptance of queer identities could be just around the corner. There's almost a straight line from Vijay Sethupathi’s role in Super Deluxe to this, but it's still a real pleasant surprise to see someone of Mammootty’s stature in an Indian film industry use that influence to make such a nuanced, emotional and ultimately hopeful film centred on a queer person. 
2. Past Lives
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I could not for a long while explain why this movie hit home for me, but I think I'll give it a go. Past Lives depicts so clearly the struggle I've often felt to not let your present self erase your childhood memories and cultural identity, even if they're conflicting (as they often are). There is a familiar underlying fear in this movie that a happy memory you might have from a past life (if you will) would crumble under any amount of scrutiny, like an ancient paper suddenly exposed to sunlight. I've been told that I'm annoyingly sentimental about goodbyes (more so than usual, if you can imagine that) . After all, it's 2024 and very easy to stay in touch. But I know how easy it is to lose track of people that you loved deeply, like they were family even, simply because the physical and cultural distance was too wide to bridge through just social media. Past Lives made me think of them, and of all the different roads my life might have gone down and how, despite all that, I'd still choose to be where I am today. Schmaltzy, I know, but this is the movie to get in your feelings for.
1. Killers of the Flower Moon
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Every year, my number one movie is about storytelling, and this year is no different. It's not a purposeful trend though; I just respond very strongly to movies that play around with the idea that film is the most objective medium for storytelling. Killers of the Flower Moon is a premier example of that sort of subversion, although that doesn't necessarily come through for most of the running time of the movie. Superbly paced and tonally immaculate, Scorsese delivers one of his best films in the seventh decade of his career, and it hinges almost entirely on a perfectly calibrated performance from Lily Gladstone. But this film wouldn't work nearly as well if not for the incredibly nuanced and insightful ending that ends up being a testament to the art of adapting true stories.
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There were some other bits and bobs from this year that I wanted to share.
As far as TV goes, Lockwood & Co. is perhaps the best new show of the year, despite it getting cancelled after the first season. It's spooky fun designed to satisfy horror mavens without turning away those who are not fond of your usual scares.
Slow Horses continues to be just as clever and callous as ever - a breath of fresh air in a somewhat stale spy-fic landscape.
And if you're looking for a traditional sitcom, there was none better this year than Primo.
As I write this, Killer Mike's Michael just won a whole bunch of Grammys. I've been a fan of him since I first stumbled onto the first Run the Jewels album, and this was the first time in recent memory that the Grammys made the cool choice in the rap categories. The only cooler pick would have been Mick Jenkins' new album, The Promise.
Other albums that I loved from this year include Cracker Island from Gorillaz and Paranoia, Angels, True Love by Christine and the Queens, both excellent entries into the pop-rock category for the year.
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Also I'm on a podcast now. It's called Stir Fry and it's more regular than this (low bar). Stay tuned to that feed and soon you'll hear me lose my mind about the Billie Eilish song potentially winning and other unhinged Oscar reactions. Stay tuned here, and (fingers crossed) there might be another article soon - lots to write about this year.
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harlowgifs · 11 months
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“How’s your knee?” 
“Why? You wanna do some freaky shit, cause I can be talked into some stuff.”
White Men Can’t Jump (2023) dir. Calmatic 
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legion1227 · 3 months
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Every Movie Watched in 2023: Ranked.
Unlike my previous ranked lists of TV, music, and games, I'm gonna try and wrap this up in one sentence thoughts of all the 117 films I watched this year.
117. Norbit. 0.5/5.
Eddie Murphy plays a nerd, an obese woman, and an Asian character, it's painfully unfunny.
116. Due Date. 1/5.
Robert Downey Jr and Zach Galifianakis are terrible people with terrible chemistry in this unfunny 2010 comedy.
115. Winnie The Pooh: Blood and Honey. 1/5.
Besides some decent gore, there's nothing this movie has going on.
114. Clash Of The Titans. 1/5.
Another despairing entry from 2010 enters the fray as Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes fail as portrayals of Zeus and Hades on every level.
113. The Third Saturday in October Part 5. 1/5.
Arguably in the so bad its good territory, but it annoyed me still.
112. Old Dads- 1.5/5.
Old man Bill Burr yells at cloud.
111. Hidden Strike. 1.5/5.
The novelty of Jackie Chan and John Cena on screen together is nowhere near good enough to carry the film.
110. Fast and The Furious- 1.5/5.
The first movie is shockingly more dull than I remembered as a youth.
109. Dark Shadows. 2/5.
The least engaging vampire film I've seen in a long time.
108. Justice League: Warworld. 2/5.
Imagine taking the anthology approach with variants of Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman and your movie still sucks.
107. The People We Hate At The Wedding- 2/5.
Ben Platt, you will pay for your crimes.
106. Shotgun Wedding-.2/5.
Another disappointing wedding movie but this one had Jennifer Coolidge so it's slightly better.
105. Vacation Friends 2. 2/5.
Between this and Hidden Strike, this might not have been John Cena's best year, I'm afraid.
104. Shazam: Fury of The Gods. 2/5.
Maybe it's a good thing the DCEU is dead.
103. The Killer. 2/5.
Not bad on a technical level, but not what I was expecting.
102. Five Nights At Freddy's. 2/5.
Either be menacing or be goofy, pick a lane, FNAF!
101. Top Gun. 2/5.
Besides homoerotic undertones, I can barely recall the film.
100. In The Shadow of the Moon. 2.5/5.
A Philadelphia police offers spends their whole life trying to track down this killer and I promise you I cannot remember the plot twist.
99. Police Academy. 2.5/5.
The guy that makes sound effects with his mouth is a beast, I cannot front.
98. White Men Can't Jump (2023). 2.5/5.
Jack Harlow and Sinqua Walls will never be Woody Harrelson and Wesley Snipes.
97. Batman: The Doom That Came to Gotham. 2.5/5.
Batman in the 1920s is fine...I guess?
96. Adult Swim's Yule Log. 2.5/5
Serial killers and aliens and possessed fire logs...there's too much going on.
95. Fractured. 2.5/5
Shutter Island but worse.
94. A Man Called Otto. 2.5/5
Not enough redemption for me to not still think of Otto as an asshole.
93. The Little Mermaid (2023). 2.5/5.
I like Hailie Bailey but the rest of this cast...mm.
92. Final Destination 3. 2.5/5.
Easily my least favorite of the Final Destination franchise.
91. Champions. 2.5/5.
Woody Harrelson coaching a special needs Basketball team has its moments.
90. Extraction 2. 2.5/5.
Didn't see the first one, but the fight scenes here were enough to carry the film at least this high.
89. The Flash. 2.5/5.
Warner Bros banked everything on a movie that harbors a scene that basically parades around long-dead actors in disgusting CGI.
88. Zom 100: Bucket List Of The Dead. 2.5/5.
Not sure how this holds to the anime or manga, but on its own it's fine I suppose.
87. Mars Attacks. 2.5/5.
A deeply bizarre film but some fun moments here and there.
86. The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It. 2.5/5.
Weakest Conjuring movie so far and it's not really close.
85. Barnyard. 2.5/5.
I liked this movie a lot more as a kid, but I respect it still as an oddity.
84. The Grinch (2018). 2.5/5.
One of the Christmas movies of all time.
83. Infinity Pool 2.5/5.
Deeply disturbing Nipple scene, I cannot.
82. Theater Camp. 3/5
Great cast, but need better material.
81. Renfield. 3/5.
No one matches the greatness of Nicolas Cage as Dracula.
80. Trilogy of Terror. 3/5.
The last story, "Amelia" is the most terror-fueled of the three stories.
79. Final Destination 4. 3/5.
One, it should've been called FD4 instead of "The Final Destination" because that's too confusing, and two, it has the weakest opening death scene of the bunch.
78. Private Parts. 3/5.
Howard Stern's rise to the top is mildly entertaining.
77. Blue Beetle. 3/5.
I like it when George Lopez gets work.
76. Kick-Ass 3/5.
No pun intended, but the fight scenes are pretty kick-ass.
75. Tetris. 3/5.
The second the guy stepped foot in Russia I sorta clocked out mentally.
74. No Hard Feelings. 3/5.
Jennifer Lawrence beating up teens while naked makes her an icon.
73. Totally Killer. 3/5.
A slasher mixed with time travel elements contributes to a fun film.
72. The Woman King. 3/5.
Powerful cast, but the subject matter didn't move me as much as I wanted it to.
71. Strange World. 3/5.
Nowhere near Disney's best, but it's got its moments.
70. Prometheus. 3/5.
I like how it's a prequel to the Alien movies.
69. Mission Impossible. 3/5.
The very first one feels tame, but I'm hoping the rest get more over the top as I try and go through them.
68. Dungeons & Dragons. 3/5.
I'm not into D&D, the game, but the movie was decent.
67. Insidious. 3/5.
Patrick Wilson was better in this than in Conjuring three. Wild.
66. The Last Voyage of the Demeter. 3/5.
It has its moments, but a vampire picking off shipmates drags too much, surprisingly.
65. The Boys of St. Vincent. 3/5.
This movie is why I don't fuck with the Catholic Church and why I make fun of them.
64. Rashomon. 3/5.
Classic movie involving an unreliable narrator trope, but I have a hard time feeling movies that came out before 1970.
63. Seven Kings Must Die. 3/5.
The movie sendoff for the show, The Last Kingdom, is better than the show's last three seasons.
62. Drunken Master. 3/5.
It has some nice fight choreography, but Jackie Chan has a better kung fu flick.
61. Stephen King's Cat's Eye. 3.5/5.
A better version of the Trilogy of Terror with better stories.
60. Silver Linings Playbook. 3.5/5.
Romcom with Jennifer Lawrence and Bradly Cooper is more devastating than funny.
59. You People. 3.5/5.
Eddie Murphy and Jonah Hill are a fine duo for most of the film.
58. Cocaine Bear. 3.5/5.
Fun, but I was hoping for it to be more chaotic than it was.
57. Antman & The Wasp: Quantumania. 3.5/5.
Yes, its flawed in many ways, but I don't care cause I like how ugly MODOK looks and Paul Rudd.
56. Terrifier. 3.5/5.
Murderous clown rampage made some good content for a little bit.
55. The Blackening. 3.5/5.
A really funny take on the horror genre and black people in horror films.
54. Loaded Weapon 1. 3.5/5.
A parody film reminiscent of The Naked Gun or Scary movie franchise in some ways and I love that.
53. Lethal Weapon 1. 3.5/5.
Loaded Weapon 1 working off of a classic like this makes sense to me.
52. Don't Breathe 2. 3.5/5.
As someone who didn't see the first one, but ended up seeing this, I think there's some enjoyment in seeing a blind old man harm bad guys.
51. A Disturbance In The Force. 3.5/5.
A documentary about the horrid Star Wars Christmas special is honestly enlightening.
50. Nimona. 3.5/5.
Adequate animation coupled with likable leads give a good time for animation fans.
49. Rise of The Planet of The Apes. 3.5/5.
Caesar yelling "NO" gave me chills, bruh.
48. Stephen King's IT (1990). 3.5/5.
Tim Curry's Pennywise will forever be iconic.
47. Asteroid City. 3.5/5.
For a first ever viewing of a Wes Anderson film, it was a bit confusing at times, but fascinating nonetheless.
46. M3GAN. 3.5/5.
M3GAN was serving the entire time.
45. Kung Fu Panda 3. 3.5/5.
The weakest of the KFP movies, but still has a good main villain.
44. Fearless Hyena. 3.5/5.
This is the other better Jackie Chan movie I was talking about.
43. Elemental. 3.5/5.
The best love story ever told...not really, but it's cute.
42. Tangled. 3.5/5.
Also cute, but I can't look past the age gap.
41. X. 3.5/5.
Mia Goth was serving as well in this horror prequel to Pearl.
40. A.I. 3.5/5.
Very ambitious Spielberg project with tinge of creepiness that I'm unsure if it was intentional or not.
39. Violet Evergarden: The Movie. 3.5/5.
Gorgeous animation, likeable characters, HUGE problem with that age gap.
38. We The Animals. 3.5/5.
Based on a true story, I feel for the plight of these young boys.
37. Jackass Forever. 3.5/5.
Idiots doing dangerous stunts even in their older age remains idiotic fun.
36. Interview With A Vampire. 3.5/5.
Leagues above Dark Shadows as a vampire movie.
35. The Super Mario Bros Movie. 3.5/5.
Lovely animation and a fun take on the Mario franchise in spite of underwhelming voice performances from some, but not all.
34. Final Destination. 3.5/5.
The first one set a pretty high bar to top in its franchise.
33. Suzume. 3.5/5.
It's a good time, but there are opportunities not taken here that infuriate me.
32. Final Destination 2. 3.5/5.
The first scene on the highway is the best scene of anything the franchise provided.
31. The Princess Bride. 3.5/5.
Oh my god, I miss Andre The Giant.
30. Scream 6. 3.5/5.
There is a reason this franchise is arguably the king of the slashers.
29. Juice. 3.5/5.
Oh my GOD I miss Tupac TOO.
28. Knock at The Cabin. 3.5/5.
The classic Shyamalan twist is predictable, but it's still a pretty entertaining movie.
27. SISU. 3.5/5.
Soldier is intent on not letting Nazis take his gold and goddammit I GOTTA respect it.
26. Missing. 3/5.
Maybe the most fun of those kinds of thriller screenlife-type movies.
25. Atlantis: The Lost Empire. 3.5/5.
An underrated Disney classic I wish I saw sooner.
24. The Princess and The Frog. 3.5/5.
Dr. Facilier is one of Disney's coolest villains and his song is one of my favorites ever.
23. Beau is Afraid. 3.5/5.
Did NOT need to be 3 hours, but it definitely wasn't boring.
22. Alienoid. 4/5.
Time Travelling shenanigans lead to unbelievable fun adventure.
21. Venture Bros: Radiant Is the blood of the Baboon heart. 4/5
A beautiful, possible, send off to an underrated Adult Swim TV show.
20. Call. 4/5.
More time travelling shenanigans involved that I like for the most part until the dark ending.
19. One Piece Film: Red. 4/5.
I love One Piece to bits and this film satisfied me immensely as a One Piece fan.
18. Air. 4/5.
Better version of the Tetris movie.
17. Dredd. 4/5.
I respect that Karl Urban never once took off the helmet.
16. Evil Dead Rise. 4/5.
Bloodiest, goriest spectacle that's a triumph.
15. Edge of Tomorrow. 4/5.
In spite of Tom Cruise's flaws, damn if he isn't a movie star.
14. Fargo. 4/5.
Watching all the seasons of the show before seeing the film is really eye-opening to see where the seasons got their influence from.
13. High Fidelity. 4/5.
I could listen to the guys in the film talk about music all day.
12. Fahrenheit 11/9. 4/5.
I got so mad watching this documentary.
11. Speed. 4/5.
Everything on the bus to "Pop Quiz Hot shot" is pure cinema.
10. Oppenheimer. 4/5.
Human meditation on one of the most devastating acts pulled off in human history makes for troubling watch.
9. They Cloned Tyrone. 4/5.
Tyrone gets cloned and its sublime.
8. Another Round. 4/5.
A simplistic premise of seeing how far the human body can indulge while still working is so damn good.
7. Barbie. 4/5.
Not only is its message thought-provoking but it's funny as hell.
6. The Menu. 4/5.
Between this and The Bear, this was a good year for me and cooking-related media I watched.
5. Puss in Boots: The Last Wish. 4/5.
Stunning animation, and two excellent antagonists help lend to a stellar animated film.
4. Prisoners. 4/5.
Hugh Jackman losing his shit makes for compelling watch.
3. John Wick 4. 4.5/5.
Action so good I could watch this forever.
2. Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse. 4.5/5.
If it was like ten minutes longer, it would be at my number one.
Guardians of The Galaxy Volume 3. 4.5/5. I almost cried over a CGI raccoon, you bet your ass its my movie of the year.
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