#why am i here? just to suffer? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

stcllariis-a · 2 years

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{lmao i legit quit this game....... only xiao rerun keeping me going}

{THIS IS MY THIRD ONE BY THE WAY. I WOULD HAVE TAKEN ANY OTHER 5* WEAPON LIKE. PLEASE.

IF NOT MISFORGED LIKE??? SKYWARD? ANYTHING!? ANYTHING ELSE!}

#⋙ 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕜𝕖𝕖𝕡𝕖𝕣 𝕚𝕤 𝕗𝕒𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕒𝕨𝕒𝕪 {ooc}#why am i here? just to suffer?

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coffinbutch · 10 months

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With how exhausted I am all the time you'd think it would be easier to fall asleep

#but no. lying awake thinking about work #why am i here? just to suffer?

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pangolinheart · 1 year

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# of Titania EX clears: 47 # of Dancing Wings obtained: 0 Hate it here.

#ffxiv #auggie plays ffxiv #why am i here? just to suffer?#every day i'm titania ex

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mayonaka-sunshine · 1 year

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anyway zzsnork time farewell beloved friends

#ughhhhh i have to stay late tomorrowwwwwwwwwwwww i just remembered #why am i here? just to suffer?

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theminecraftbee · 8 months

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so a thing this fandom does that remains FASCINATING to me, as a function of the fact a lot of this fandom is people's first fandom or only current fandom, is just... assume a lot of things it does is a scourge that this fandom has invented or doesn't exist outside of it? or like, is uniquely bad here? and i won't deny that sometimes mcyt fandom is a bit more intense by virtue of numbers, but like...

duo names: confusing fandom-injokes to describe duos and groups tend to be an anime fandom thing specifically for many historical reasons, but they're not uncommon. hey quick--if you haven't been in KHR fandom, can you guess what 1827 is? no? i'll give you a hint: that's actually a ship name. or, ygo fans, tell me the difference between puppyshipping, prideshipping, violetshipping, and rivalshipping. my hint is that they're all kaiba ships and two of them are actually the same ship. good luck!

reducing characters to a specific trait: have you read fic in another fandom before? i would recommend you go do so and come back to me. my example here is "sasuke likes tomatoes", for the record.

common au fanon that's confusing to outsiders: my deep cut here is "when i got into certain tv fandoms i was baffled by the existence of sentinel/guide fics", which is a slightly older tv fandom thing so many of you probably don't know what i'm on about. but trust me: in certain fandoms it's ubiquitous and unless you've watched a completely different tv show you're gonna have to entirely pick it up from reading fic. oh hey, hybrid aus and watcher!grian, nice to see your relative here,

fanon being treated as canon: did you know there's this whole bnha character, naomasa, who is treated as canonically having a lie detector quirk? did you know that, best i can tell, that's not in canon anywhere, it just got echoed through fanon enough that everyone treated it as canon? 'fanon trait becomes so ubiquitous everyone assumes it has to be there' is not a new thing. also, batfamily fans, i have been lead to understand the tim and coffee thing is also this.

characters being treated badly to make a different dynamic look better: the fact we have the term 'character bashing' tells you all you need to know, here. if anything my one complaint on this front isn't even that it's happening--it's that i wish bashing and/or "not [character] friendly" was tagged a little more frequently, haha.

characters being reduced to their family dynamics: tale as old as time. "even the family dynamic thing" yes even that. just because this fandom tended to be particularly ship-adverse in the past didn't mean it didn't do basically the same behaviors as any fandom with shipping did with those dynamics, just gen. and other gen fandoms also do that. yes, down to the "and shipping reduces them to a ship, unlike my gen dynamic, which is very in-character; why can't people just be friends?" thing. some of you have to have been marvel fans right.

characters being reduced to their ships: some of you have to have been marvel fans right.

The Discourse: yeah this is an "actively running show" fandom thing, but also a hiatus fandom thing. ask a homestuck about vriskourse sometime. as much as i hate to say it, it probably made doomsday discourse look cute.

and those are just like... some things i've seen people complain about on my dash recently. idk it just hit me there are probably fans in mcyt fandoms who are assuming that some things (like hybrid aus or duo names) are the kind of things that only happen here, so i thought i'd offer some examples of other places they happen! i also have even more examples if you'd like.

to be clear: this isn't shaming anyone for complaining about any of these things. lord knows i go complain to my friends about it all the time, just the other day i was complaining in the category of 'they keep bashing my guy'. it's more of just... a gentle reminder that maybe we're big, maybe we're loud, maybe we have problems... but these problems aren't always unique.

so uh. we're all suffering together i guess...?

#discourse #<- because. yeah.#this isn't meant to start a discourse this is more me laughing about Fandoms Is The Same #its also why i'm not bringing up the More Serious types of Fandoms Is The Same because i don't want to make light of it #and am instead bringing up the pettier ones #this sparked initially by someone acting like duo names are a this-fandom only phenomenon after years of being a ygo fan #and i was like. oh i've done this song and dance many a time.#and then i was thinking about posts complaining about things like fd and ships and everything else and i was like. oh that's an OLD song #so here. so we all remember sometimes that we all suffer together lol #this isn't a vague of anyone in particular i just constantly waver about making this specific post #anyway back to my usual discourse-free self

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0lekingcole · 1 month

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I just want a death obsessed girlfriend who will hang out in graveyards, read poetry with me, DIY my surgeries and wear comfy pj's after making love IS THIS TOO MUCH TO ASK?!?

Just let me be the quiet supportive boyfriend I was born to be istg

#why am i here #just to suffer #creature #lisa frankenstein #cole sprouse #kathryn newton #lisa swallows #jughead jones #jughead #riverdale #trans

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electr1c4 · 1 month

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i sometimes remember that troy and abed didnt canonically kiss and im like ummmmmmm r u sure i've seen them do that I'm pretty sure

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myrmica · 2 months

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i'm rewatching the second to last day of wormhole eclipse convo for the one millionth time because i need parts of it transcribed for my blog post and vitalasy straight up asking "Why do we play?" is killing me. you may as well turn towards the camera and stare directly at me. 2k words of this analysis are spent on definitions of play. stop that

(incoherent vitalazam ramble below the cut real stream of consciousness in here. i guess some of this might get rehashed in the thing i'm Supposed to be writing right now but it won't have the same sense of fervor due to the restraints of proper grammar. consider this a bonus...?)

i can't even articulate what i want to say here fucking. fuck my life. the way this conversation is a perfect capstone on eclipse's relationship. zam spends the entire thing acquiescing to whatever vitalasy tells him but not hearing any of it. because he's still mad but he can't express that, and Vitalasy is still mad (Cannot acknowledge zam's anger at him re: exploits without jumping to his own defense. and then he cuts himself off because he knows that's not helping . purely said that on reflex. it reads like a joke.) and vitalasy Still doesn't understand him at all, is still so intensely frustrated by him. and it's just manifesting as vitalasy digging the two of them into this pit while zam does nothing, doesn't fight back even though he reads it as vitalasy trying to kill him to which vitalasy says "i'm not trying to kill you!" even though moments later vitalasy will offer to ban zam, has been urging him to do it this whole time. because not only is killing zam in this moment made trivial and pointless by the exploits but even if it were possible and it could mean something it Wouldn't mean anything because it wouldn't change anything; banning is synonymous with leaving and despite how relentlessly zam toys with the idea he will never. ever. Ever. actually do it.

he's miserable but he can't put himself before the server the way vitalasy thinks would be best for him and for everyone else because as far as zam is concerned his health and the health of the server are one and the same. he's playing out the exploits and sticking with spoke because it's like, it's almost saying "if you won't see it through I will" to a vitalasy who has in his own words discarded first the exploits and then the server itself. BUT AGAIN: HE CAN'T EXPRESS THIS! HE APOLOGIZED TO VITALASY! it would be wrong to go back on that but the apology was as much of a lie as his relationship with vitalasy always was when they were on good terms.

i mean look at this you can literally watch him course correct over and over again as he remembers what vitalasy wants from him. it never ends. i want to squeeze him until he dies. it's exponentially easier to place the blame on himself but doing that has always just freaked vitalasy out he hates when zam does that so bad. it's the easy way out of dealing with a problem to punish yourself for it.

LIKE OKAY ... what does he want? does he want vi and subz to just fight him? would that be easier? that's always been the expected response that's the counter to the move zam has made on the board. i betray you; you attack me; differences are settled in combat. he talks about fighting at one point like winning and losing have ingrained moral qualities. if someone thinks you're wrong, and tries to stop you, and you beat them, it proves that you're right. but he tried to go against the exploits and vitalasy wouldn't fight him, vitalasy stepped out of bounds entirely and said "i'm not playing anymore, i don't like this game!" after fucking the game over for everybody else, and he never forgave that. and now, vitalasy hates what zam is doing but he's not trying to fight it, he's trying to force zam to do what he did, to stop playing by his own rules. to look outside of bounds. to consider a bigger picture. he is notoriously bad at that.

he likes mapicc so much because they speak the same language. you know how mapicc is able to temporarily settle their differences before the pangi duel and subsequent extremely obvious betrayal by handing a "win" to zam and it Works? it works really well? whatever. whatever

#vitalasy and zam are The characters ever i am being so for real when i say this. why? because they are intimately connected to all of the #ideas that rule my stupid baka life. im never getting out of here #m #lifesteal #'why do we play?' 'to suffer.' is so funny . i hate him #also half of this is just me rehashing the same shit i'm always saying which is why i need to FINISH MY BLOG POST. SO I CAN HAVE SAID IT #ONCE AND FOR ALL. AND MAYBE THEN I WILL STOP.#starting to feel like a guy with one trick. in my defense it's a good one

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jojossillywalk · 10 months

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it's avpol, right, but get this. avdol is sitting on a chair. and polnareff? he's leaning on the Back of the chair.

#avpol #like i'll be doing traditional art for arts and then 10 minutes of digital is like Why I Am I Here Just To Suffer #i might post a colored version i also might get frustrated and give up

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roachesforthewin · 7 months

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My Personal TIMKON Recs List

i made this for my friend recently and thought i’d share it here because you tumblr bitches love pain and little gay dudes (just like me fr)

all of these have good young justice, batfam and superfam (though sometimes it’s minimal) representation (because i don’t read them if they don’t have good rep, sue me). Plus Tim and Kon personality and character accuracy, obviously.

Also these are all Ao3 recs because i like to consider myself as not a heathen

Funk Ass

- sun kissed by merils

https://archiveofourown.org/works/48882055

beach episode, queer young justice fr fr, Kon rep is off the charts (ashgs quite possibly the conner rep of all time, just the phrases he uses /$)/ so real!!)

- Baby Talk Me Down (Take Me Out) by sage (lemontongues)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25384345

ahhhsh this one is unfinished but i desperately wish it was, either way great fic and great character rep + conner civvy life insights

- Out of The Frying Pan, Into the Casserole Dish By JpegdotJpeg

https://archiveofourown.org/works/41005416

martha kent (& the superfam!) is the best person ever, plus tim is the most autistic little dude (we love him sm)

Haven’t finished but amazing rep/haven’t read yet but plan to

- Robins and other flightless birds by Ionaperidot

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15607170

ahsgshsh this one qualifies for [literally kill yourself after reading (pain)]category but i put it here just cause :-| uhh BW adopts fucked up kids good for him: JJ!tim, Catatonic!jason COA!dick etc

- Straight on ‘til morning by merils

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43401684

haven’t read this one yet but i’ve heard really good stuff about it! plus good kon character development/ exploration (from what i’ve heard)

- there you were by mindshelter

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25599205

the blorbos deserve pain, don’t you agree? (i haven’t read this one in a hot minute and have forgotten what it’s about but i remember it being good)

- Buy Back the Secrets by sundiscus

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43137879/chapters/108412977

okay no this one LITERALLY AHSGGSGS bro just read it, uhh civvy tim and superboy interactions, 5+1 things, good sibling Jason (a rarity unfortunately), funny ass dialogue

sexy times (good for them)

disclaimer! none of these fics are like solely focused on smut, but that plays a large ish role thats why they’re in this category

- take me to the airport (call me from the platform) by Hayleythewriter

https://archiveofourown.org/works/47970586/chapters/120950194

This has an idiots to lovers tag…there’s not much more to say. except for great sibling relationship portrayal of Damian and Tim that doesn’t involve murder attempts Yay!! (DC wouldn’t even dream of it)

- What happens in Vegas by Ididloveyou_once

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32850109

Stupidest bitches alive fr (mostly tim) + Cassie Sandsmark being a bitch, we love to see it! and and and it has an interesting subplot/s so woowoo, also minor Birdflash👀

- Scions by winterlive

https://archiveofourown.org/works/375897

Conner Luthor is a bitch and i love him + lex luthor is a good dad WHAT!?! oh HA and Clex which is soo good.This was honestly one of my favourites sheerly because of good character representation and BW not being a terrible father

- Trust Fall by Ididloveyou_once

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31654376

Again good sibling rep between all of the batboys, mostly Damian and Tim tho YAY! (it’s seriously a rarity do not take it for granted)

Literally kill yourself after reading these (Pain)

- when your bf hits the street and turns into meat that’s amore by CarrionCarnival

https://archiveofourown.org/works/40318824

self explanatory title, heavy gore :loved it, literally my favourite fic on this list (i adore gore what can i say)

- You are Shaking Fists and Trembling Teeth by Bored_Liege_bow

https://archiveofourown.org/works/47679967

implied TimKon, aftermath of conners death Rip timothy d-w

- my dear devoted delicate by blenderfullasarcasm

https://archiveofourown.org/works/48556555

pushing daisies au, sad af + good exploration of loss on tim’s part through his life

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ride-a-dromedary · 7 months

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I have no base for this, but Halsin seems like the type who would settle in the middle of the group with fruits (that he likely foraged) and little wooden bowl in tow and just start cutting them unprompted and offering them to everyone else.

#BG3 Musing #Halsin #Halsin Posting #i cannot get over him telling shadowheart he would feed her and carry around her bowl if she were a goldfish #you know what i'm talking about right - like the little paring knife cuts them in his hands #at first it just looks like he's doing it for himself but like halsin just eats things sans cutting them lbh #it's a clever and nonchalant way for him to share because others are more likely to take small pieces than like a whole apple yk?#we should all benefit from the bounty we are provided every day and all that #and eventually near everyone just starts...taking it from him and he smiles and continues #i think my other basis for this is halsin just doesn't like seeing people suffer - whether that be neglecting their basic needs #(because he neglects his own self enough lmao but lemme not neglect my friends though they're important)#or isolating themselves or what and it stems from his desire of just wanting to help #and feels absolutely no offense if they brush him off #like okay but it'll still be here if you want it later ^_^#that's also why i am a sucker for the 'halsin offers to let astarion drink from him' trope in fics #because it goes along with the 'i don't want you to suffer and if i can help i will' even though as a druid #technically your existence is very dodgy to me (but halsin is just a nice person! that's really the long and short of it)#but like obviously disapproves if you do it without permission lol

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oatbugs · 1 month

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pls i need to provide updates

#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year #and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire #and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f #friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl #acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what #are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and #friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after #everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to #invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me #i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother #and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids #so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo #any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷‍♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd #and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk #THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date #w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a #few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay #scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK #like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl #like is that even doable #but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much #.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us #god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x #but it would be soooo funny #I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed #popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x #i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like #its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe

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lotrmusical · 9 months

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i choose the evening, and your love is given to the morning.

#lotr musical #lotr #good news you can't hear me valiantly holding in my sobs #also i was dubious abt how the outdoor bits of this audio would turn out but they're ok yay #why did louis have to do that with his voice on 'i'm too badly hurt' . actually felt like being stabbed #and nuwan's 'i'll make it an eye-opener and no mistake' . let me LIVE #i hope this works tumblr won't let me post audio from the app so here i am on mobile browser web #i just need to make everyone listen to this. pain pain eternal pain #gay belligerence #edit: pinning this. suffer

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polygondotcomvideoproducer · 2 years

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No more griffin no more justin no more ashley no more allegra no more brian no more karen no more jeff no more josh no more jenna

#polygon #why am I still here. just to suffer?#pat simone and clayton are everything they're incredible they're clowns they're my scrunkly meow meows or whatever the fuck #but they're not gonna be able to manage this shit alone like girl what the fuck #also I am dumb so I may have missed other people that left/were let go #except [redacted] he doesn't belong there

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ssreeder · 3 months

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he… he was born to be a hero and became a villain… he was born to be a villain and became a hero… no one asked them what they wanted… they don’t even know what they want they don’t even know who they ARE…. they bring out the worst in each other…. they can only be honest with each other and they hate it love it hate it destroy it in the end…. they ruin each others lives…. they don’t regret each other…. if you even care…. I’m gonna apass out

#WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME????#HELLA WHYYYYY #I swear this is cruel and unusual punishment #you can’t take your talented brain and invest it into dabihawks and pull out the most beautifully tragic words for them #YOU CANT MAKE MY HEART WANT TO CHAIN SMOKE #MY HEART IS CHAINSMOKING #WHY WHY WHYBWHYYYY #Wait why am I thinking you write a MHA fic???#I’m going to go to your ao3 and find out #Hella why do you want me to suffer with you???#I’m trying so hard not to get sucked into their bullshi #But I can’t stop thinking about them now #Seriously the way hawks respond to things with wit and a smile even though his sense of justice is more fucked than even dabi #Dabi sees the injustices in the justice system and he wants to burn it to the ground #& hawks is over here like ‘just not the wings man’#fire is good fire is bad fire is good fire is bad #Hot is good hot is bad hot is soooo good but it’s sooooo bad #Damn it hella stop it #STOP IT #Is is bad to say I do like endeavor?#Are people going to throw shit at me from the back!?#I love myself a flawed character with a fucked up sense of judgement and I’m also a sucker for that character realizing that they fucked up #& then trying to make amends because it’s not too late but it is too late hunny nothing will never be the same as it was and even when it w #It was fucked I mean come on man shotos crying in the dojo because you hurt mommy while touya is imploding in the forest and now they’re #Battling it out for your love while also seemingly rejecting it because they don’t need to be loved (but they need to be loved so badly)#SOMEONE LOVE HAWKS DAMN IT #Haha I love hawks though he’s like welll shit I kind of forgot about my mom I hope she got out ok and Dabi didn’t murder her oh well #Shit happens wow this is a nice apartment maybe I’ll sublease this thing #Make back some of the money she made SELLING ME TO THE FUCKING GOVERNMENT #*deep breath* I’m getting rambling over here

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