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samarecharm · 23 days

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geniunely not trying to put words in ur mouth im geniunely asking: what do you actually like about persona 5? from all ur rants im just wondering why you didnt drop the game bc it seems (again, im not trying to put words in ur mouth) that it simply not for you? i geniunely have not felt any of the issues you bring up outside of the writing ones and i cannot tell if i'm just easily pleased and not good at discerning what a good game is or we simply have dif things we enjoy in a video game. i hate getting tone across text but im asking out of geniune curiosity im not trying to attack your opinion (;-;)

Nah, i dont feel like ur attacking me, and I hope u dont feel the same when u see my complaints! Lmao. In my defense, I am replaying the game for the first time after completing my first file back in 2020, so alot of the faults i kinda shrugged off in my first playthrough are now glaringly in my face now that I no longer have the confusion and interest in learning the main story to keep me occupied. The game is clunky all the way through, and at some times, even frustratingly so.

But despite that, i do like this game. Alot! Its probably one of my top games ever if im being honest!

This ended up way longer than I intended, so im putting it under a readmore to keep the post short on dashboards

If i had to describe what I liked about the game in the simplest way imaginable…I think I would say, I like how the game makes me feel :) I like the music. I like the vibe. I like the immersion from city to city, and I like the premise! I like the characters and I like the connections you make with these characters! As im replaying this game, i am most excited to see Akira and his comments about the world :) i like hearing everyones voices, I like their little interactions in Mementos, and I like seeing them fight!

P5 is the first game I played in the series; its the game that introduced me to SMT in the first place! And it (smt) is a series that my longtime best friend LOVES and never thought hed be able to share with me! It is a game i keep very near to my heart; it has influenced me in ways i did not think would happen in the short couple of years since i first finished it. It genuinely keeps me awake some nights thinking about the world this game has created, and I think that is a testament to the impact its had, be it good or bad.

The joke about wishing theyd make a persona game that was Good is that despite all of its numerous flaws, the games manage to snatch your attention and pull you in anyway. Imagine if they made a game that had all of those things that i mentioned I loved, but done Right and executed Properly?? Where I got to have a story that made sense and didnt need to be spoonfed to me (in like an HOUR of dialogue and scenes; an HOUR!), and characters that talked and bonded beyond the tiny snippets of interaction theyre allowed to have in mementos? Combat that let me use PERSONAS i liked instead of BUILDS that stop me from getting instakilled throughout the entirety of the endgame, and a Persona building mechanic that didnt feel like I was shooting in the dark looking for possible fusions that end up not even being useful in the endgame.

Ive mentioned it before, but I complain so much bc I have seen what a good p5 game looks like, and its Strikers almost to a T. Combat is still your typical warriors-esque style combat, but it is at least different from the turn based strategy of the main game. Characters talk to each other freely, they hang out and comfort each other in a way that feels more connected that the base game. Strikers implements the ability to see ALL possible fusions with ALL registered personas, not just the ones in your Stock, so you can fuse easily without having yo consult a guide. The story feels like it makes SENSE with antagonists that feel morally grey and sympathetic. Genuinely, alot of the complaints for p5 I had were almost immediately rectified in this game.

But please also know that the praises I sing for this game is only bc of the groundwork laid by p5 and the world it created. Thats what I like about this game, that it had such a captivating premise and cast of characters, that a DIFFERENT company was able to hit the ground running with them. P5 had alot happening in that game, but i think what it had most was potential. The effort put into this game is astronomical, and the possible connections you can outright MISS if u arent paying attention was worth the money and time to implement; even if it meant that it could be considered a waste of resources to higher ups.

Books and games and part time jobs???!! Silly little cutscenes that add nothing to the game PLOTwise, but define and flesh out the personality of your protagonist. There was alot of love put into this game, and its evident by the fact that we have NOT seen a new persona game released; they bank on existing titles bc they are unwilling to make a game like this from scratch again. They dont want to ‘waste’ resources on good voice acting and a complex, overarching story; they dont want to waste money on scenes a player may never see, on routes a player may never get to experience. Making a game that gives u even the slightest bit of freedom means more money in programming and detailing that freedom. This has been an issue for a WHILE, and its a miracle that the gaming landscape had space for a colossal title like p5!

I complain bc I want better, and I do not think that is inherently at odds with my love of this game. In b4 im told to get good; ive played on hard and tested out merciless (its NOT fun, im making godbuilds again and its boring 😞). Its not the most accessible turnbased rpg; theres no colorblind modes, and the affinity system is convoluted and overwhelming. Combo moves are hard to keep track of and it can be incredibly frustrating to see your turns being skipped or seeing characters take extreme technical damage without understanding WHY it happened. The fact that they KNEW the game was desperate for qol improvements by the time royal came out, and instead of updating the base game to have those improvements too, they just pushed the royal edition out for people to play instead. It sucks! Customers and fans deserve better than being forced to shell out money for a game they already played !

As the gaming climate gets more and more hostile and unbearable, I think it is good to look at your games critically, and understand why products come out subpar. Persona 5 is a fun game that has a nice cast and an interesting premise, but it is ultimately tied down by its refusal to build on existing building blocks regarding its combat, and it insists on having insulting and downright out of character dialogue and scenes to appease the audience its designed to be targeted to. It is easy to forget sometimes that queer ppl are infact NOT the prime target of these games, its cishet gamer bros from aged 16 to 40 who will laugh at homophobic comments, who drool over a 16 yr old girl with a 16 yr old mindset and a grown womans body, who need to be placated with constant sexual comments to deal with a convoluted story that will inevitably make zero sense until its laid out for you before the literal end of the game.

Its bad. Its good. Its so shallow and its unbelievable that they thought having the plot twist make ZERO sense until they showed CUTSCENES of YOUR character discussing Goro and his connections to the metaverse for endgame SHOCK VALUE was more important than just having your team be smart and piece it together over time. Its shit. Its literally amazing. It let you FUCK your teacher ??????????????what the FUCK. They also let me shoot a god in the face w the best looking ult persona in the world so i can ignore that shit. And ultimately that is how i got through the game. Lol.

#chattin #answered #i have mentioned it before but i did NOT romance anyone #u know why? bc i literally didnt know it existed #i maxed out ann and the game was like ‘hey. this next decision is important’#and i was like. huh. u know what. i have not looked up a guide until now. thats scary. i dont want to lose a confidant…#and learned that.#so uh. i really DID go through the game bot realizing i could date anyone. even the adults.#anyway. this was alot. and i tried to keep out alot of my other complaints #bc i have so many. but they are like. either nitpicky things or things that are issues in lots of games too #like the models suck in this game but i can look past that. graphics are always bottom on the list of complaints #and i do like the little animations!! i like akiras little tics #and i like seeing personas do their casting animations; shiki ouji and nekomata are my faves #i distinctly remember that being a thing i wished to see more of.#bc i liked thinking of what joker would look like fighting for Real #and then i remembered him being in smash so i was like COOL. ill look at those #and then i got STRIKERS and it was exactly what I wanted #i think #the game is like.#its bad. but in ways that i wouldnt call another game bad #like back 4 blood is BAD bad. its awful. the gameplay is bad. the story was shit. and the servers shut down within a year or two of launch #risk of rain 2 is bad in the way that it continuously obscures and withholds information to the player. its tedious and frustrating #but unlike b4b i LIKE ror2 and will continue to enjoy it.#bc the gameplay loop FEELS satisfying #and ultimately thats how i feel about p5 #for all of its faults; its fun. it has a gameplay loop that is consistent and fun when u get the hang of it #im playing on hard again since merciless is just me making the right instakill builds while i pick up my team over and over again #and theres still a challenge in having the endgame weapons and armor #its satisfying! and i think its satisfying bc I was given the luck of having this be my introduction into the series #maybe i would have a better opinion on the game if i came from p4. or maybe not! who knows !

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disasterpenguin · 6 months

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Anyways Dean loved Cas too, the song Watchin' Over Me proves it 😤

#i really really need a fic where Dean goes & sits in the dungeon looking at where Cas died and writes Watchin Over Me #he goes there to pray to Cas too. or just to talk to him #Sam thinks it's unhealthy to keep doing it to himself ((because Dean doesn’t let anyone into the dungeon anymore. it's *his* space))#but then one day while Dean is out Sam goes into the dungeon to… do whatever. maybe thinks he's gonna wait there to confront Dean?#either way he walks into the dungeon and sees a small little setup that Dean made #i'm talking a singular beanbag with a little table in front of it. some pictures of Cas (some he drew some he took and had printed out)#the song in a notebook. a few other things wrote down in said notebook #Cas's favorite blanket of deans #it's not exactly a dungeon anymore in the small space Dean carved out to be with Cas in #he's got lil snacks & drinks in there for himself #Sam leaves and never mentions how he thinks Dean going into the dungeon is unhealthy #then one day jack says he can bring Cas back but he has to go into the dungeon because that's where Cas was taken from #Cas & Jack come back from the empty and Dean is there waiting for him #dean winchester #castiel #destiel #supernatural #spn

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dimiclaudeblaigan · 8 months

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No but something I love is how fucking loyal Miklan really is (in Hopes specifically since we don't have enough information in Houses).

At the camp, he takes his job seriously. Very seriously. He doesn't act begrudging or like he's just doing anything by force. As the chapters go on he not only goes from relatively aloof to a full fledged commander (which is great development in that span of chapters btw considering how fast the story has to progress) and one who fights for Faerghus because he wants to (why would he reassure the player that he's going to, literally, hold down the fort? Why doesn't he flee when his life is in immediate danger despite that Dimtiri prefers his allies to flee and save their lives over sacrificing themselves? Why does he like helping citizens who had their lands destroyed by the war, despite being a bandit who used to plunge towns just like those?).

At any time when the Empire was attacking, he could've surrendered and even joined their side because of not liking Faerghus and its people... if he didn't like Faerghus and its people. Also, someone brought this up to me once that Miklan likely has family in the Empire still, because his mother was from the Empire. He had a perfectly good out that wouldn't even necessarily be considered treason to Faerghus, i.e. surrendering and going to the Empire to protect that side of his family.

He doesn't. He dies for Faerghus. It was both a matter of honor due to the fact that he was finally living the life he always should've been and wanted to be respected for that, and also his loyalty that followed in the past's wrongs being righted. No matter what you think of Miklan post disinheritance, he was the heir who was removed because he didn't have a Crest. All over just that, despite that Sylvain having a Crest never meant they didn't still have someone capable of fighting off Sreng invasions.

They had someone able to wield the Lance of Ruin, so why did it matter if he was officially the heir? Miklan felt like his life was stolen from him (and I'm not saying what he did to Sylvain was okay either). Dimitri gave him all of that back and he started to become loyal to Faerghus and its king because Dimitri was giving the chance even the man's own father never gave him from the moment Sylvain was determined to have a Crest.

What happened in his life before Dimitri had him brought to him as soon as he became king is, in a way, almost like it never happened as far as Miklan's behavior. It was obviously there at first, but over time it's like it never happened. That is, if someone met him and didn't know about his past, by chapter 9 they'd never even know he'd had that history. He was the person he would've been years ago if he hadn't been disinherited, which led to the mess that led to him being disowned (and he says he just "left", but Matthias doesn't mince facts. At all. If that had been the case he wouldn't just say he disowned him. He would admit Miklan ran away. That means Miklan claims he left as a means of coping and trying to convince other people that it was his choice and not forced on him).

Miklan became a lot more loyal than he's ever given credit for, both in the game and in the fandom. Gwendal did recognize it, but that's about all we're given.

Gwendal corrected himself when Miklan died, referring to him instead as Sir Miklan instead of the insults he was spewing during their fight which were very clearly pissing Miklan off; but Miklan kept fighting and defending the fort, not just because he wanted to prove Gwendal wrong but because he was here because he was pulled out of his life as a bandit. The people he was defending the fort for were the people who effectively gave him his life back.

Basically, he would've been there in that fort defending it anyway if he had lived the life he should have to begin with. If his value was acknowledged all along, he would've been defending the most important fort in Faerghus all along (if this exact scenario occurred and everything was the same except him being disowned in the first place). He would be there being the commander and fighter he was supposed to be.

Mind you, it was the king himself who gave him that chance, meaning the person who reigns over Faerghus and has the most power to change whatever the hell he wants - including how people with Crests and without are treated. Miklan was part of a fight to better their society and be part of the new generation taking over. Nobody could truly change things unless the king - the top power - had the thought to change them (not saying Lambert thought the political climate was good the way it was, but he clearly had other priorities and it didn't seem to be something weighing on his mind. He may not have even truly noticed the problems and power discrepancies because he was so focused on other things).

However, the moment the king thought to change all that old stuff, Miklan was one of the first people who came to mind, and one of the first people he took action regarding, to integrate into his new army (and he even mentioned completely rearranging his army and whatnot, and then we find out he had Miklan located basically right after becoming king. We had a two year timeskip and Miklan had been there for those two years because of how soon after Dimitri was crowned that he had decided to bring Miklan back and give him another chance).

If the king sought to change things and was taking active action to prove it, that was something Miklan could see and realize was actually going to happen. It wasn't a blind trust - he could see Dimitri was actually doing it. He had a reason to be able to trust him with this.

He was also able to trust the people who were watching over him, i.e. the people Dimitri had making sure he didn't revert back to any sort of banditry. Those people could have easily faked it, made up that he did something and that they had killed him on the spot. Dimitri trusted those people not to do that of course, but those people were not told to bring him to Dimitri if he did anything. They were told to apprehend him and kill him immediately (which is reasonable, given what he'd done in the past, and they wouldn't want to try to wait to get Dimitri over to wherever they were. If Miklan escaped in that time, they'd just have a big problem on their hands).

So that is to say, those people could've just faked it at any point and killed him. They didn't. They, like Dimitri, were willing to give him another chance provided he didn't do anything bad.

The same goes for Felix and everyone else who had qualms about him being allowed into their army. Dimitri explicitly stated if anyone had issues with his appointment as a commander to "by all means" kill him themselves. He literally made it an open option for his friends to just up and kill him if they truly couldn't forgive him (which at that point was more reasonable of a time because the war was still new and people didn't know if they could trust him with this specific appointment yet. By later in the story I don't think it would have been as reasonable for someone to try to kill him after he'd already been proving himself).

In other words, nobody did it. Everyone, literally everyone, backed off and respected Dimitri's decision (and technically Sylvain and Matthias' as well). None of those people, even when given open opportunity, turned a weapon on him. Not one. These people all gave him a chance. These are the same people he died fighting for, and for himself to be able to feel like he was fighting and dying for what he would have to begin with if he hadn't been disinherited - Faerghus and its people.

In the end Miklan was in both rank and heart a top ranking commander of Faerghus and he both appreciated it and knew he appreciated it. He was looking forward to the future Dimitri would bring, basically saying that he thinks Dimitri is a fool ("weak-willed") for it but that he now believes in it too. If anyone wants to try arguing those points, I have receipts as the young folk call them, fresh from Miklan himself about his feelings about it as spoken to Catherine and Shamir!

Miklan fought for the future he was hoping to see, and he died protecting that future. Again, not something he by any means whatsoever had to do. He was tasked with guarding the fortress, but was never told to lay down his life defending it. After years and years of being hateful and angry, he finally had some peace of mind and hope for what he could be. He was loyal to Dimitri in the end because Dimitri was loyal to him - that is, he kept his word and Miklan was able to thrive in Dimitri's society without being a bandit or having to worry about his future because of his status.

Like Dimitri said, the only thing holding him down by that point were his past mistakes. It was up to Miklan to do something about that for himself with the opportunity he was given to fix it. Dimitri said here, fix it, and Miklan said okay, and worked to fix it. For me the saddest part is that he didn't even get enough time to properly fix it and be able to be free of his past. He died for Faerghus though, with his dying words being that he was able to buy them time (to arrive and fight back against the attacking Empire). That's not something someone who holds a resentful grudge would say in their last moments. He was grateful he managed to buy the other fighters time, even though it cost him his life.

hopes was a dumpster fire a whole lot of times but its incorporation of miklan into the plot was not one of them. miklan fire emblem my love you will live on in my heart and in my fics. i am also deeply grateful to hopes for uh i guess hopes-canonizing (hopesonizing???) basically every one of my headcanons about him before the game came out.

#Miklan #Miklan Anschutz Gautier #remember the time i mentioned working on a fic and it was an au and like #i had planned to kill him and glenn off together for the plot? and how i scrapped it bc i got too attached to them?#and i couldn't go through with it when i thought abt sylvain and miklan's could be would be relationship?#that was me on the right track for the rest of my life. even back then i see i had a FEELING #i just KNEW something. funny enough in hopes miklan has a line that's like #pretty close to what i had him say in the fic... so uh my assertions and understandings of his character #were scarily accurate before we had anything but him as an enemy in houses to go by #and what dimitri talked abt post that chapter. uhhh maybe i am a miklan whisperer???#anyway miklan is easily by far the most underrated character in the entirety of hopes #and one of the most underrated characters overall #he has one of the most interesting stories from start to finish (esp in hopes)#how he was a noble family's heir to being disinherited to becoming an angry and hateful child #to growing up like that bc evidently nobody tried to steer him on the right path #to getting disowned only to be disowned for a lol measly for few months or so TOPS in hopes lmao #before being told to come back. in houses he was disowned presumably exactly as long but #dimitri wasn't the top power of faerghus. he couldn't have made the decision he got to make in hopes #so ofc the whole yeehaw lance of ruin thing happened. in hopes' case he was gone that long and just #took a vacation basically and came back and was basically told /B E H A V E/#except everyone was finally trying to steer him in the right direction even if it was SUUUPER fucking late #and he was grown up and set in his ways/behaviors/mannerisms that arose due to his childhood and onward #BUT from there and after being a very spiteful bandit he pulled himself together and was genuinely happier for it #enough to the point of considering himself ''weak willed'' to have started to believe in these visions dimitri has for the future #it makes me sad how he died in ag and like... even outside of ag there was never any hope of that family being whole #they weren't whole from the moment sylvain was determined to have a crest #and they couldn't be whole in houses bc dimitri never had the chance to change anything #then in hopes they could never be whole bc a different gautier dies in every hopes route #my poor fam never even had a chance to be whole again even though they genuinely tried so hard to be ;n; ;n; ;n;

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todayisafridaynight · 2 months

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getting wigs for characters with the same hair color as myself make me feel like the biggest dumbass around but youd have me fucked thinking im burdening myself with daigos 2000's emo cut just for a weekend

#snap chats #a weekend is generous im only going to the con on saturday #i like how im making it sound like anime nyc is this weekend when its at the end of august LMAO BUT NO LISTEN #unfortunately beauty influencers have finally done their job right and this one guy was reviewing an eyebrow pencil #but the twist is that this pencil was like. SUPPPER STUPID FINE im talkin .08mm and he demonstrated how it could imitate stubble #SO OF COURSE. my ass wanted to see for myself cause as much as i like my sponge-stippling method its not super precise #and that shit gets annoying when most of it looks fine but then i press too hard or i angle the sponge wrong and now i gotta start over #In Any Case the pencil i got did exactly as i hoped and its actually p fun putting on LMAO. i prefer how it looks too #anyway how this all relates to this post. im probably gonna go as y2 daigo again for anime nyc in august #and I Repeat im not cutting my hair for that LMAO so. Wig 😩#i like it when i cosplay him cause i just go by his actual design cause if i even breathe near skinny jeans ill wanna kms #also i just like to be as accurate as i can be yk. plus the leather pants i have are cozy and theyre one of my fave pairs of pants 🤤#in any case. whenever that wig comes in ermmmmm i dont trust myself to take pictures 😞 my selfie game is dick #maybe ill stream yk2 LMAO but anyway. good night i think im gonna force myself to sleep now #i got back to my dorm like four hours ago or whatever and i am not looking forward to doing school shit again. alongside comm shit #OH WELL we ball good night #wait before i Good Night cackling as i have my meds next to my aoki tablet and plush #great reminder honestly. Take Your Meds Or You'l Convince Yourself To Be A Republican #ok goodnight fr now im gonna giggle and kick my feet thinking of cosplay

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helianskies · 6 days

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ugly maths.

i hate maths, right. i don't usually like numbers, and if i do like numbers it's gotta be an 8 or a 48 and nothing else.

thing is, i've recently caught myself doing maths again. ugly maths. the kind of maths that, really, i've been trying to avoid as much as possible because, well, it's ugly!

you... wanna see?

okay, fine... but don't say i didn't warn you!

ugly, see? look at all those numbers! not a 48 in sight!

huh? what's that? you don't see what i'm on about? oh... oh! hang on, lemme just—

better? yes? no? no? okay, what if i—

mmh, yes. ugly numbers. see it now? can you see why they're ugly?

here, i can make it worse.

these numbers are ugly. the maths they make me do is ugly.

now i'll level with you: the worst ones by far are the yellow numbers. the maths they make me do it the ugliest.

why ugly?

because it makes me ugly.

those numbers turn me into not only a suddenly number-obsessed fool, but a fool who also cannot understand these numbers and what they mean and why i feel like they reflect on me and my ability.

87, 75.

the thoughts are as follows:

• the orange numbers are big, so why are you being ugly about the yellow ones? you should be happy with what you have. so many nice big numbers! not everyone receives that.

• is it that there are two different audiences for these two different fics? perhaps. they are quite different works, with different appeals, and different themes. maybe you are reading too much into it.

• why are you obsessing over numbers anyway? you don't like maths! you left maths behind when you were 16, put it down!

okay, okay, fine! i'll put the maths down. right here, in fact!:

that 87 was an 83 at the start of the year. the 6161 it is attached to was a 5453.

4, 708.

ugly maths.

the 75 is a nice number. in fact, compared to 87, it is beautiful, radiant, enchanting. at the start of the year, 75 was 48. wow. now that is one sexy number!

27.

mmmm.

6161, 1061.

5100.

87, 75.

12.

mmmm.

you know, my most favourite comment left recently on a fic of mine was 2 characters long: :(

it made me :)

well, actually, it made me >:) because it was left in response, presumably, to one of the key scenes in a new chapter which left the exact impression on someone that i hoped it would.

they must be the only one who reacted like that, though.

have i mentioned that that 87 and 75 include author responses?

i won't try to do more maths, there. it might not end well for me. the maths is making me tired enough as it is, and i have an early start tomorrow.

oh! but, that being said, i have another set of ugly numbers to show you, so keep 87 and 75 in mind.

ready?

838, 245.

(want a hint? the green numbers!)

838, 87. 245, 75.

9.6, 3.3.

ugly maths. it's ugly again, see? i don't like it. i'm seeing numbers within numbers within numbers, and i can't seem to stop!

the numbers make me ask new questions:

• why is it not good enough?

• people seem to engage more with one fic over the other, so shouldn't you prioritise?

• is all this maths this really good for you?

no, it isn't.

i want to avoid ugly maths. ugly maths makes me want to tear my hair out. it makes me want to start from scratch. it makes me want to grab someone and scream. it makes me want to cry and press a button that has tempted me many times before when the numbers become too ugly to bear.

ugly maths turn me into an ugly person.

ugly maths make me obsessive, paranoid, anxious, regretful, vindictive, spiteful, alone.

i hate maths. i hate numbers, just like, it feels, the numbers hate me.

#helia rants #cw vent #i'm okay but i'm not #this has been playing on my mind over the last couple of weeks #it's aimed at the sky rather than anyone here #i know i'm not the best myself as commenting. i justify it to myself by affirming i don't read much. which i don't.#since the start of the year i have tried to comment on everything i have read #bearing in mind i may also dm someone rather than comment because i want to scream and ramble about their fic more personally #that being said. i know i'm not the only one who finds themselves doing ugly maths #and in turn starting to feel uglier too #i don't like looking at the numbers #i was doing well at the start of the year #but as i open my drafts and look to a new chapter and at the notes i wrote #i can't stop myself from opening the fic. from seeing where it's at. from seeing if it's changed. from checking my inbox to see if...#if only...#what it's meant is that i've come to a point where a fic i loved has become exactly that: a fic i loved. past tense #the other fic is still a fic i love. but i know deep down that that is tied to the numbers too #i hate that this is what i've become #because i have tiny fics. fics with 50 hits and maybe 1 comment. and i love them. i still love them #but when it comes to the big ones. the multi-chapters. the hefty fics. after a point all i see are numbers #and those numbers have come to determine both my happiness and fulfilment as a writer #and so i am ugly. i am sad. i am pathetic.#and i don't know how to stop.#helia's stuff #this was meant to save back into my drafts. i was editing tags. tumblr decided it should post. so... so be it.#also this is not an attention thing if anyone dares go 'oh but you're a good writer uwu' i might do something we'll all regret #this is also not a 'ffs comment on my fics will you 😒' hell no #it's just about me. and my issue. and my unhealthy relationship with these fucking numbers.#gotta get this shit out of my head somehow :)

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theygender · 7 months

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Apparently the scene you get with Shadowheart if you get her approval all the way up and then tell her you want to get to spend time with her is the same one you're supposed to get at the tiefling party, which means if you trigger it early you may not get any scene with her at the party at all. This made things pretty confusing when I showed up expecting to advance my romance with her and instead she just gave me some generic "lol wine is good huh" dialogue meanwhile every other companion* BUT her was actively trying to jump my bones... Literally just had to beat everyone else off of my Tav with a stick and then go to bed alone 😔

*Except Lae'zel, who instead went on an unprompted rant about how she knew I wanted to fuck her sooo bad but I had Pissed Her Off by making her be Nice to People so now she would NEVER allow me the pleasure of having crazy hot githyanki sex with her. (She propositioned me a few days later anyways)

#i seem to have accidentally started a romance with lae'zel astarion AND gale in addition to shadowheart 😭#like the next day i had a notice to talk with astarion and it was the scene where hes talking about not being able to see his reflection #and it was literally like dodging fucking bullets trying to pick an option that wasnt flirting #i ended up having to pick some mean dialogue that was like 'maybe its for the best youre not exactly aging gracefully'#bc the ONLY other two options were like 'tell him you think hes beautiful' and 'gaze lovingly into his eyes' or some shit #and i was like '...okay im picking the mean one but i mean it as a joke. maybe it can be a joke' and i picked it an he was all horrified #but then the next dialogue gave me an option to say 'lol im just kidding' and i was like PHEW #but then he just went back to being fucking flirty again and was like 'really~ well then tell me what you like about me the most' or smth #and i was like FUCK. NO #but then the next dialogue tree in addition to having the normal flirty options had three additional options #that were like 'youre fine. but lae'zel/gale/shadowheart? now theres real beauty'#and i was like. fuckin. OKAY #ill wonder wtf those other two are doing there later but for now ill pick the one where i tell him in interested in shadowheart #so i picked that option and this bitch fucking APPROVED. told me he was going to have to work harder to keep up with his competition #like SIR. what do you MEAN competition. i let you bite me ONE time bc you said you were dying of thirst and i wanted to help a bro out #and then the next morning i immediately told you i didnt like it and i never wanted it to happen again #what do you mean competition dude you arent even on my radar 😭 im a DYKE #and why were lae'zel and gale there as options too??#the next night i got gales weave scene where he shows my character how to use magic #(my tav was pretty unimpressed as a fellow mage tbh but hes my friend and i was being polite)#and when i clicked the option to clearly say at the end that i was not interested in having an intimate moment with gale #he got all misty eyed and was like 'oh how quickly these moments fade away...'#like bro the moment didnt fade away i politely shut it down on purpose bc im not interested. what are you talking about #and THEN i got lae'zel trying to fuck me and when i turned her down she gave me the exact same dialogue #about how i would miss out on having hot githyanki sex with her. AGAIN #yall im JUST trying to romance shadowheart 😭 leave me alone #if anyone else is gonna try to trap me into flirting with them then at least let it be karlach next time please 😭🙏#(ill come back for lae'zel on another playthrough bc being between her and shadowheart sounds like a safety hazard tbh)#rambling

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bumblingbabooshka · 11 months

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‘tis i, nonbinary transfem tuvok enthusiast and recently i’ve been pondering the dynamic between her and transmasc b’elanna torres…. i love thinking of them having long conversations together about gender and cultural histories and their life paths and mental issues (real)

also tuvok’s quote of “there is nothing wrong in choosing to live” would be such an emotional statement to tell b’elanna who canonically has depression (they just like me fr). anyways these are my thoughts today take care my friend!! <3

I don't personally see Tuvok as being a positive person for B'Elanna to talk to about much of anything personal without like, some sort of change to how they interact with one another since I think he'd both intentionally and unintentionally antagonize her BUT I can absolutely see them looking at each other and feeling the gender envy even before they know what that particular sensation is. Knowing B'Elanna I bet she'd worry she has some kind of weird crush on him hehehe~ Someone starts a group for queer members of the crew to meet but it seems like more of a dating thing and they're all human and no one else is trans so B'Elanna leaves and runs into Tuvok and is like "Oh! I didn't see you in there." because it's common knowledge by this point that Tuvok's trans but Tuvok just does that 'obviously.' look and goes "...No." so B'Elanna leaves her alone but they happen to run into each other next week and the week after and it eventually becomes an unofficial thing and it's a real rollercoaster. It's a real russian roulette of what kind of a time you're gonna have - sometimes it ends in a fight and sometimes it ends in the most insightful realization you'll ever have. Such is life on Voyager... Thank you so much and I hope you have a wonderful day too~!!

#I see many people cite that episode where he taught her meditation as them getting along but I think he 1000% failed to be helpful at all #and mainly just reluctantly and impatiently taught her how to meditate while sort of insulting her - B'Elanna taking his lessons to heart #is really all on her v_v #Tuvok isn't exactly the kindest person in the world ... yet he cares about people. Complicated man v_v He'll stay up for two weeks straight #trying to rescue you and then make a crack at how he thinks Klingons are barbaric ... honestly I'd say B'Elanna should yell at him but I #think he'd just go 'ah...my point proven. v_v' BUT I DO. THINK THEY'RE SUCH AN INTERESTING POTENTIAL PAIR??#Not romantically - I mean pair of characters together bc they have SO MANY SIMILARITIES !!!! It's INSANE!!!#they truly deserved a character development 'getting closer' episode #honestly maybe this gender thing would do it...hehe maybe they'd finally have to talk it out bc they're the only other person o nthe ship #who'd understand....the power of being trans~!!#I hope this doesn't come off as negative - I liked this ask and I like Tuvok <3 #+ comforting things don't have to be in line with canon...nor is my interpretation of canon the be all end all #+ transmasc B'Elanna...embrace your short king swag <3<3 #this post is half inspired by my friend inviting me to join my school's GSA in middle school and me saying yeah absolutely!#then running away when their back was turned v_v SORRY #I really do hope this doesn't come off negative or rude - I don't want people thinking I'm gonna be rude if they share their thoughts #and headcanons with me =_= but I have trouble with tone...#Q&A #anon

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highwaydiamonds · 1 year

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#journaling #art journaling #i've done couple spreads/pages from these affirmation cards i got last year with a set of stickers & planner thing i purchased #they weren't designed for this but i've used a couple of them that way #i feel like this is a very simplified - not exactly sanitized - but not NOT sanitized either version of how i've felt about things lately #there's been rather a lot of 'the suck" but i a working to try and keep my head up #oh - and because of the shiny surface the rectangle in the top left - is an image of hokusai's the great wave #i am so full of FEELING - i don't know where to put it all. it's like a spill running in too many directions #i don't know how to organize them or say them all without spreading some kind of infection around- triggering/dumping on other people #and maybe i am also simply tired on top of everything else - smh - but i am tryong to sit with these waves #to remind myself that i need to do what i can to mitigate things - that i know what some of these things ARE - even if i don't like them #and that i CAN do them - regardless #and the stuff i cannot change - that i don't have to absorb it all - that i can see it - and name it and admit it sucks and try and let go #and if - let go- isn't quite right then it's more do what i can to keep going anyway - then that's what i need to keep trying to do #i feel like i keep coming back to the mountain goats' lyrics from This Year:#There will be feasting and dancing in jerusalem next year - and i am gonna make it through this year if it kills me #embrace the suck

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mccoys-killer-queen · 4 months

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Styx obsession, day -38: I'm gonna see Styx at the M3 festival in May! I think it'll be fun :)

Styx obsession, day 176: I've never been to Canada before but I just met Lawrence Gowan in an alley in Ottawa in the middle of the night and I know what underwear he was wearing and also when and where he bought said underwear

#this is literally my 2023 in a nutshell and i cannot stress this enough #december 30th 2022 i bought the m3 tickets and knew i was going to see styx but only knew like 6-7 songs MAX and didn't know anyone's names #except tommy's #and maybe dennis #5 days shy of a year later i can say i met larry in an alley in ottawa in the middle of the night and i knew what underwear he was wearing #while i was waiting in the alley behind the venue i was sitting there on bitchasscold concrete #looking at the lights on the balconies of the apartments across the tiny back street in front of me #and laughing at myself saying out loud ''what the fuck am i doing here ???''#bc it was just so ridiculous to me how fast this shit happened #six months prior i didn't even know larry's name and had never been out of the country before #and there i was sitting there in the middle of fucking ottawa in the middle of the night in the fucking BITTER cold for Some Canadian Guy #btw yes it was exactly 176 days between the day my styx obsession started (june 7th) and the day i met larry (nov 29th at exactly midnight)

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acaiyatree · 1 year

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you ever think about the fact steph was going to take on the nightwing mantle if it weren't for the n52??? like jfc this girl is just, going around and getting mantles LMAO

#i honestly don't know how to feel about nightwing!steph #bc. nightwing is a title i think is just. For Dick. it's Dick's Thing. BUTTTT #if we put it in context of what was going on back then it. it makes sense. bc dick was alrdy getting pr comfy with being batman and doing #stuff with dami and... i guess someone has to take the nightwing mantle right? and during that time i'd say steph would be the most fitting #idk it's just. a really weird gray area of ''i really want to see this happen but not right now. maybe back then i would've liked it a lot''#yk??? YALL GET ME RIGHT????#also idk steph going from mantle to mantle is kinda.... eh for me #idk i just want her to have smth of her own and yk. going after another mantle isn't exactly that but hush #dc #dc comics #stephanie brown

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quietwingsinthesky · 1 month

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i have many many thoughts about rose & tentoo and how their relationship would evolve in this verse. about how you can't just take the love you have for one person and put it on someone else. not even a clone, a regeneration, a metacrisis. about how that doesn't mean you can't love them, or that you can't fall in love with them the same way, but that love has to be for them.

#it is relevant it just isn't relevant. right now.#but i do think about them a lot.#i think about them still living their lives after even leaves. think about rose and donna bonding. think about rose working for torchwood #and seeing a new side to jack and new sides to herself as well because she has to be there for the whole CoE thing.#think about tentoo transitioning because she is trans have i mentioned she's trans yet. she is. even doesn't know that yet because they #weren't there but they will someday.#i think about them all being at donna's wedding. and about a rose noble who grows up knowing the woman she took her name from.#they're a fambly..........#i think about rose actually not keeping the whole doctor/aliens/mind wipe for your own protection/etc thing from tentoo for very long #about how working through both that being kept from her but also how it was killing rose to do that. how rose had to tell her.#is a fundamental part of what they build everything on now. they grow together.#i think about donna missing someone who isn't there and how sometimes with tentoo she feels a little better but it isn't exactly right #and how as time goes on. that feeling goes away more and more. her grief over losing the doctor *increases* as tentoo grows into a differen #person. she is still. fundamentally. the doctor. but she is also johanna tyler. and donna loves her. and still misses the doctor.#and i think. a lot. about that empty space that even leaves behind. about how they aren't there for donna's wedding.#about how they aren't there when rose noble is growing up. about how they disappear one day and no one ever tells rose or donna #or johanna or *any of them* what happened. i think about how they put up missing posters. i think about how rose holds her breath #for a whole year because hell the doctor got it wrong once with her. maybe they're just late. maybe they'll be back in time for christmas.#but even doesn't come back. they keep a picture of even on the mantel. and they do set an extra plate at christmas. just in case.#a lot of times it stays empty but they sometimes have other impromptu guests. martha and mickey and jack. jack comes by a lot.#couldn't keep him away if they tried really. sarah jane comes sometimes too. (sky babysitting rose noble. ough.)#something about. the doctor does have a family out there. if he'd only come home to them.#so does even. they're both going to have to go back sometime. face the music. sit down for dinner.#there's still time. there's still time.#dw oc

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hiphopcherrrypop · 2 months

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my coworkers are having a laugh together or smtn like TELL ME THATS THE CASE bc why TWO of them start trying to flirt w me yesterday 😭😭

#like omg i get it…. ur conspiring together this js. a prank #pls #im literally the driest person ever idk how u could see me almost every day for months and then think ya i want that 😍#im telling u looks do not even carry i am uggo too like if u both are fr WHAT r u seeing exactly #‘u looked rly cute today’ girl u are lying to my fsce bc i was in jeans i havent washed in 2 weeks and a cat tshirt #i realize i didnt even text him back for that and i think hes also on shift today URGEHRHH 😭😭😭#let me just maybe. not take painkiller today #chug large coffee while im at it #then cry my waawaawa can i go home early tengo colicos 🥺🙏 before he shows up LOL…… uwhrghh…#even tho i have pulled that like twice already this month OOPS!!!!#it has been true though + i prob need to see a doctor or smtn 😞#but in the past these kind of situations have resolved themself #which means that soon circumstances will align for me and i will be out of there 🙏🙏🙏#(sounds of a delusional person coping)

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wowbright · 1 year

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Somersaults!

#I can finally do underwater somersaults #not sure exactly what's different about what I'm doing but it's working #I don't think my back or my hips or my abdomen are going to be very happy about this later #because of course once I got it right I kept doing it over and over #did about five right in a row #then started doing incomplete once again couldn't figure out why #then got back to doing actual complete somersaults and pretty much did not stop after that #will be interesting to see if I remember how to do the next time I'm in the pool #gpoy #swimming #also not sure why the water didn't go up super high in my sinuses and burn them like it usually does #must have something to do with my chin tuck #I must have altered it a little #and maybe spending a little faster?#could keep the water from flooding into the sinuses #I mean I did get water up my nose but not in the painful way #definitely sound right now like I have a head cold

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solaaresque · 1 year

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day 874392857 of ??? where i am so fucking tired of this house and the people inside it that killing myself is looking better and better each day :/

#reze stfu #god i honestly. idk what to say #my parents aren't bad in terms of it. they're pretty good as far as parents go #but like. imso fucking tired of being expected to act and talk a certain way. yes. i am your first child #that is exactly the reason i am so fucked up!! because you didnt know how to deal with children when you had me an i was basically a...#idk. an experiment or wtv #I WISH THEY COULD UNDERSTAND THAT !!#i know there is something wrong with me. because i've been told that. to my face. repeatedly #and people wonder why my self esteem is so low :/#maybe if you didnt amke me question my fucking existance i wouldnt be this way. you ever thought of that??#just two more years . i gotta hanf on for two more years. thats all. thats all. and them im our im out of this house #maybe ill like them better when i dont see tjem everyday #god i love being deathly terrified of my own parents. sometimes i dont even think i love them. i think im just so scared of them #that ive deluded myself into thinking that i love them and theyd never do anything to hurt me #despite KNOWING that isnt true #and its worse when my sisters have to deal with the fallout like. im used to being the buffer. i can deal with that. but please please #please dont expect me to parent. dont expect me to take your place. side eyes my father #WHY am i the most responsible person in that house???#you expect me to trust you ??? after you left 2 10 year olds alone in a playground in the hot sun for 3 hours with no food no water no money #no way back home??? and you fucking forgot about them???? and i had to remind you????????#i dont know. maybe im just lashing out. maybe im just tired of being the fuckup #its hard to be proud of yourself when you end up being told that there is something about you that is not right in the head ykwim?#ugh im sorry for ranting i just. idek what set me off and now i have nail marks in my arm and my skin is raw again #and my eyes are bloodshot. so i guess. ill be crying myself to sleep again. yay #that is if i even GET to sleep. i just wasted 20 mins i couldve used to be working having a mental breakdown. fun fun #tw suicide #tw vent

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dimiclaudeblaigan · 8 months

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No but something I love is how fucking loyal Miklan really is (in Hopes specifically since we don't have enough information in Houses).

What happened in his life before Dimitri had him brought to him as soon as he became king is, in a way, almost like it never happened as far as Miklan's behavior. It was obviously there at first, but over time it's like it never happened. That is, if someone met him and didn't know about his past, by chapter 9 they'd never even know he'd had that history. He was the person he would've been years ago if he hadn't been disinherited, which lead to the mess that led to him being disowned (and he says he just "left", but Matthias doesn't mince facts. At all. If that had been the case he wouldn't just say he disowned him. He would admit Miklan ran away. That means Miklan claims he left as a means of coping and trying to convince other people that it was his choice and not forced on him).

Miklan became a lot more loyal than he's ever given credit for, both in the game and in the fandom. Gwendal did recognize it, but that's about all we're given.

So that is to say, those people could've just faked it at any point and killed him. They didn't. They, like Dimitri, were willing to give him another chance provided he didn't do anything bad.

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