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#would i if i hadnt moved away?
kinkshame-puncher-666 · 4 months
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Does anyone even listen to bad religion in their most emotional state??
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People who try to be respectful and not talk about NSFW things when they find out I'm ace: I'm kissing you on the forehead because that is so sweet and considerate but also you literally don't know my actual boundaries.
I'm personally fine with hearing NSFW stuff, if you're not being a jerk about it (ie saying it deliberately to get a negative reaction out of me because they think its funny to make people uncomfortable). Yes I will act grossed out as a joke but alas it is a bit (yes I do clarify this with people irl)
Ace people are diverse in their preferences, just like anybody. You can ask about our boundaries, but you can't assume them based on our orientation (do you avoid talking about straight NSFW stuff to your gay friend??). Clarify and respect boundaries with anyone, it's the polite thing to do
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muirneach · 2 months
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applied for a job sort of downtown today knowing damn well it would take me 1h40m to get there. but like lowkey its my dream job (as far as jobs currently available to me) soooo
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eonars · 4 months
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If you're on here gleefully going on about how we should have struck Yemen harder sooner worse whatever and cheering it on you are literally no different from the conservatives you purport to hate first of all, I'm genuinely scared of you as a middle eastern woman second of all, and think you're legitimately sick in the head for cheering on air strikes on ANYONE third of all. Absolute lack of humanity.
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justtogetthrough · 1 year
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Look I know humans need to be individually strong and able to function independently etc and stuff but also humans evolved to be in groups too and I don't have a group, I've spent 95% of my life without a group, and I just so desperately want someone to be as attached to me as I am to them. I have spent my whole life lonely by myself on the outside looking in and I don't want to be here anymore. I've experienced what it felt like to be inside a group now and this loneliness feels even worse now that I know what it felt like to belong.
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caffeinatedopossum · 2 years
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About your last post, being persistently exposed to trauma, residually as a child, is absolutely a fucked up thing whether or not anything directly happened to you. Whether or not others take it seriously that is absolutely valid trauma and I'm sorry and hope you feel better soon.
Thank you :(( I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks it was damaging
#tw csa mention in these tags#i think i didnt realize it was traumatic because when stuff started to come out#it was allegations about my dad from one of my sisters#saying that he sa'd our sister and my dad immediately went to jail#but my mom was devastated and couldnt function. idk exactly what happened because its blurry (i was only 7 so yeah)#idk somehow our mom got him out of jail tho and i was told (VERY emphatically) that he wasnt actually guilty#my sisters were forced to testify#saying that they had lied essentially and it wasnt true#and thats what i was told too. i was told that it was a lie and it hadnt happened and i believed that#because i was 7. most children my age didnt even know what sex WAS let alone abuse#i also didnt really care because i didnt understand. i was just scared and i missed how my family used to be#but obviously it never went back to the way it was#my parents moved us really far away. out of state. and after that i was never allowed to stay home alone with my dad again#which was upsetting for me because i hated going most places (i would get sensory overload and i had bad anxiety already)#and i also didnt understand why my mom was so convinced someone would spread allegations again if they had no reason to#basically it was years and years of me slowly realizing what really happened#and it never fully sunk in... i think in a way im still that terrified 7 year old deep down. in denial because acceptance isnt acceptable#skfkgj sorry for the trauma dump it just helps to talk about specifics sometimes
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femme-malewife · 1 year
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hnm...
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moodr1ng · 2 years
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sometimes its fun that as a kid growing up alienated by gender in general and womanhood in particular i was very much in the “not like other girls” crowd and its only after completely shedding the ties i still had to womanhood via being seen as a man and transitioning to live as a man that i became able to look back at womanhood and, having taken the long way around to surprise it, come to find it inhabited by the girls and women i love and admire - all this to find that womanhood would only fit right when i embraced the other girls
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fractalpathways · 21 days
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Vent in tags
General tw for abuse.
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90sbee · 6 months
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random tiktok reminded me that my last gf never wanted to meet any of my friends while i met her family, cousins, her closest circle. 10 injured 6 dead.
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yarrowleef-babbles · 1 year
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mistborn's magic is cool but im starting to wonder if i can no longer enjoy stories about political revolutionary groups that are very very clearly written by em....people who are probably not very revolutionary irl. to make a long grouchy ramble short.
ive liked plenty of books by non radical authors, but the fact this one is *about* a needed revolution makes those moments particularly distracting. sometimes it makes the characters feel disingenuous.
anyway i absolutely loathe elend venture as a person and a character and a concept just. so so much. every time he talks i want to strangle him
abolish your house and relinquish your wealth or shut the fuck up forever challenge
#i feel like there was a time i didnt care that much about this i could just focus on the fiction literally and take it as is#but in recent years i have lost a lot of patience for this sort of thing specifically...#'yeah well not ALL nobility 🙄🙄🙄 did you ever think about THAT galaxy brained thought?? some of us are polite'#god. god. i cannot believe this little useless twit who spent his whole life being complacent like every other noble#who was not even willing to ENTERTAIN the idea of having to give up ANY of his power post revolution#who walked up to the rebels and was like 'you ruffians will simply eat each other alive without our guidance'#WAS JUST. MADE KING.#AND EVERYONE JUST. AGREED TO THAT???#yeah sure he has only ever fantasized quietly about revolutionary sentiments#and didnt actually do anything until other people came in and did the the revolution FOR HIM so he could just stepped in and be like#oh well you see i had a boys club night and read some books so let me tell you the right way to do this revolution#that conveniently includes not rly taking anything away from me or the other rampant rapist slave owners!!!!#hey guys. pals. buds. feeling bad about something while continuing to benefit from and uphold it doesnt make you a good person actually#ITS LIP SERVICE. WORTHLESS. POSTURING. HE WOULD NEVER HAVE DONE ANYTHING USEFUL IF THE REVOLUTION HADNT FORCED HIM TO MOVE OR DIE#you know i actually dont think we should be friends with complicit rapist slave owners. why should the nobles keep anything??#ONE THIRD IS A LOT. IT IS A LOT FOR EVERYONE TO KNOW ABOUT AND BE COMPLICIT IN#the lord ruler did not make nobles rape their slaves!! he didnt oversee any of their daily atrocities!! he in fact ignored a lot of things!#that was aalllll their personal choice. 1/3 are regular rapists 3/3 dont believe skaa are people. even their pity is like pity for animals.#ELOND ONLY JUST DISCOVERED THAT SKAA WERE IN FACT PEOPLE (MAYBE) A WEEK AGO#i hate this bitch so fucking much im going to assassinate him myself#actually i think the skaa should have beheaded literally everyone in the palace <3#and i could not care less if elend found it distasteful <3 die <3#'well you see he gave just SUCH a good speech about keeping the peace and being nonviolent above all else'#'that the rebels instantly dropped their weapons and realized what a brilliant intellectual he was#and fell in love with him on the spot'#shut up shut the entire fuck up that is the most Insufferable Spineless Liberal bs thing i've ever heard#yeah his version of *hypothetical* peaceful revolution was doing really well for the skaa#his plan was to take up his house with all the murdered bodies it was built on and try to gently sway everyone to be Nicer Slave Owners#sorry. sorry this framing really didnt age well. idk if im going to be able to read the rest of the trilogy i am so annoyed#i might but im taking a break
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imwetforyourmom · 19 days
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good for you
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(if you dont like how its written do not hesitate to ask mw to rewrite it!!)
warnings: smut, praising, kissing, teasing (?), swearing, dom!matt sub!reader, fem!reader, established relationship, making out
a/n: sorry this took so long to get out!! I coupdnt find any motivation to finish it. so thats mb
request
not proofread
~
y/n slipped the navy blue dress up her body. her eyes scanned the dress one last time, deciding if this was going to be her final decision of the night.
a mid high thigh slit, the blue silk perfecting her skin tone, making it a shiny-ish glow.
the clothing latching onto her skin perfectly,
showing her beautiful curves, the prominent curve forming by her waist and hips. the shimmery blue reflecting onto her skin, giving it the glowy look.
the dress straps hung loosely onto her shoulders, if it were to be tugged on of some sort the straps would easily slip off.
but as good as she looked currently in the dress, she imagined she looked even better without the dress.
the lacy black lingerie currently clinging onto her skin under her dress, the small clothing translucent everywhere but where her nipples and clit were. leaving little to the imagination.
where the lingerie covered y/ns sensitive areas the flowery pattern was jet black and soft.
she ran her hands over her dress, down her hips and the top of her thighs.
inspecting her body and the soft dress one last time, deeming herself gorgeous she walked away from the mirror and to her vanity, grabbing her phone and small bag.
she walked down the stairs, where matt was sitting on the couch, waiting for his girl to finish.
"alrighty matt! im ready now." she spoke, her lips a shameless grin as she walked to the door, bending over and slipping on her heels.
"you look beautiful, baby." he mumbled, his eyes scanning from her ass to the back of her neck, his footsteps got closer to her until his hand touched her lower back.
he ran his hand up her back, until it reached the back of her head. he leaned down and whispered into her ear, "cant wait to take it off you tonight, love."
he pulled away, to put on his shoes.
y/ns cheeks went a dark red, her blush coating her face, all over her face.
not like she hadnt planned for sex later, but matts words really fucking got to her, too much.
• • •
matt slowly zoned out, staring at the woman he loved so dearly, who was currently talking to other people but looked so effortlessly perfect as she did so. the blue dress clinging to her skin so beautifully and her smile a lively and lovely expression.
y/n continued her chat with the woman who stood infront of her. the woman whom was 'Mrs. rosé' was very nice. she was soft spoken and spoke very highly of her husband.
endless compliments about Mr. Rosé slipped from Mrs. Rosé tongue so easily, as if she was speaking with genuine thought, like she'd been thinking it for years but waiting to finally say it.
matt had finally gotten enough of just watching his girlfriend, he'd been thinking about her touch, the way her body would feel, the way her eyes would look up at him.. yearning for his touch.
she just looked so perfect (not like she never did), too perfect to not be praised, too perfect to not be touched, too perfect to not be kissed.
he felt his pants tighten as he stared at her, his eyes moving across her body. the blue dress coating it, shielding her beauty from the hideousness of the worlds eyes, the eyes that took for granted, the eyes that judged, the eyes that disrespected.
he finally got enough of it, he wanted his girl and he wanted her now. he excused himself from the conversation he was supposed to be paying attention too, but was too distracted by y/ns beauty to give a fuck. he walked over to y/n and whispered into her ear, his eyes glancing at the woman she was just talking to.
"can we go home, please?" he whispered, his breath sending shivers down y/ns spine. y/n reluctanly agreed and said a quick bye to Mrs. Rosé, before going with matts neediness, his hands on her waist and squeezing as he waited.
she began walking to the exit of the event, leaving matt to follow after her like a lost puppy. his quick footsteps to folllow after her, not without taking a few glances at the way her ass looked in the dress. god, this dress was doing things to him.
• • •
on the drive back, matts leg bounced, needing her, needing her so bad yet couldnt touch her, atleast not till they got home that it.
his hand squeezed the steering wheel, his knuckles turning a white with the force he was using. he took sharp inhales as he got closer and closer to home, just thinking about how y/n would look laid on their bed, laid flat on her back with her legs spread and ready just for him.
his hard-on was already painful enough, but thinking about y/n in such ways as he was was only worsening the pain, his throbbing cock begging to be put to use.
y/n glanced at matt, her eyes traveling over his body, her eyes taking in just how hot and bothered he looked, yet she couldnt put her finger on why.
his cheeks a hue of pink, his bottom lip between his teeth, his hair disheveled and messy with how many times hes run his hand through it in an anxious manner, his leg bouncing furiously slightly shaking the car as he did so. her eyes moving just slightly higher on his leg, the tent in his pants catching y/ns eye.
she chuckled as she realized why he was acting the way he was, clearly the boy needed some sort of relief and couldnt way long enough for the event to end.
even with seeing how bad he needed her she didnt do anything about it, knowing she'd be more satisfied with his reaction when they got home and he'd see her in the black lingerie underneath her dress.
• • •
as soon as matt and y/n had made it in his room he acted quickly, his hands moving fast to shut and lock the door behind him, aswell as grabbing y/n and attaching her lips to his in a fast manner, the kiss wet and needy, teeth clashing together, tongues intertwining and matts hands moving all over y/ns body.
his large palms groping the plush of her ass, kneading at it, before slapping it but then going back to kneading the skin.
matt pulled away and looked y/n in the eyes, before he broke eye contact and glanced down at her body, motioning at her dress, slightly asking if he could take it off.
y/n giggled, knowing what was to be in store. matt was already needy and horny enough, just imagine how he'd react when he saw what was under the dress.
she nodded and moved her hands to the strap of her darkish blue dress, pulling down the straps and letting it fall down her body. faster than she intended it fell to her feet, exposing the lacy, flower pattern lingerie.
matts eyes almost bulged out of his head, his jaw falling ajar and his hands working faster than his mind could, immediately going to grope her boobs. a muttered "you're absolutely breathtaking, oh my fuck." leaving the barrier of his lips.
he put his hands on her waist and pushed her to the bed, plopping her down onto it. he moved quickly, his hands going to the hem of his shirt and pulling it off, then reaching for her bra, his eyes glued to the lacy, almost see through material.
"I cant believe you wore this all night, just for me" he whispered, his voice quiet and his cheeks a pink as he stared down at her body, his eyes leaving a burning feeling all throughout y/ns body.
he leant his head down, his lips ghosting over the skin of her breasts, still with the bra. his hands unclipped the clasp of the bra and gently pulled it off her shoulders. his eyes widening at the sight of his girlfriends beautiful, beautiful body.
"holy shit y/n.. you're so pretty." he spoke with sincerity, being so stunned by her beautiful tits like he hadnt seen them literally two days ago. his head ducked down to pepper hot and wet open-mouthed kisses all over her chest, before focusing on her nipple. the wetness of his mouth covering her nipple sending shivers down her spine.
the sucking and the light biting of his mouth on her hardened nipple eliciting a moan from y/ns mouth. her back arching as matts cold fingers went to her other nipple, pinching and massaging. he pulled his mouth away from the one, before attaching it to the other and repeating his previous actions to it.
he pulled away from both nipples as his hands went to the waistband of his pants, trying to unbutton and pull his boxers down quickly, needing to be inside her, needing to feel her.
y/ns hands went to the waistband of her own panties, hooking her fingers into them and pulling them down her legs, pulling her legs to her chest to help herself pull them off.
then spreading them and placing them on the sides of her, giving matt the perfect view of her pussy.
he groaned at the sight, his mouth falling open and his hands going to positon himself at her entrance, her arousal covering his dick quickly.
he pushed his tip in, already grunting at the feeling. "a- are you ready, baby?" he asked, his eyes meeting hers as he waited to push fully inside her.
"yes, fuck, matt please." she whined, her bottom lip feeding between her teeth in anticipation. needing him, needing more of him.
he placed both hands at either side of her sides, balacing his weight onto them as he pushed the rest of his cock inside her.
a groan leaving his lips while a whimper leaves y/ns. a burning sensation flooding throughout her body as he bottoms out. already finding himself whimpering with how good she feels and hes only been inside her for a few seconds.
"fuck, baby, you feel so good." he mumbled, slowly pulling his hips out, until he was almost all the way out, before thrusting back in.
a gutteral scream escaped y/ns throat, a scream so brutal and loud it scraped her throat—from matts sudden quickened pace, his hips thrusting concerningly fast into hers, his cock filling up her tight walls.
"matttt- fuckkk" she moaned, her back arching and her eyes rolling back, he'd only been in her for a few minutes and she was already at a loss of words.
"mm, you're taking me so well." he praised, his eyes taking in the sight of his girlfriend, her messy hair, a light layer of sweat on her skin, her bottom lip between her teeth and her eyes just barely staying open.
y/n spread her legs wider, and pushed them to the sides of her hips leaving matt right between her legs, his cock getting an even better angle into her, going deeper into her.
matt moaned feeling the way y/ns walls hugged his dick, it all feeling so perfect. "fuck, this pussy was made for me" he mumbled, his voice coming out in a low, gutteral tone.
y/n threw her head back, her mouth falling open as pornagrapical moans escaped her lips.
matt grabbed her chin with his pointer and thumb, pulling her face foward and attaching his lips to hers, in a hot and sloppy kiss, yet passionate. full of teeth colliding, exchanging spit and tongues dancing together.
matt rocked his hips into hers, before pulling away from y/ns lips and thrusting into at an even faster pace, if that was even fucking possible.
he placed a hand on a her hip whilst the other on the bed, to both support him and to ensure his girlfriend wouldnt go flying off the damn bed.
"you're incredible." matt groaned, his eyes falling to her eyes, keeping them there to the best of his abilities while still going mercyless into her.
"hmm- ngh—" she moaned, she threw her head back as her eyes rolled back and long, drawn out moans slipped so effortlessy from her lips.
matt stared down at her, strands of his hair sticking to his forehead from the sweat, but also curling slightly.
he grabbed y/ns chin and tilted it upwards so it was facing him, "look at me, baby, wanna see those pretty eyes and that pretty face of yours, hm?" he mumbled, his thumb rubbing her cheek so innocently, as if he wasnt doing a very sinful action to her aswell.
"'m close, matty-" she spoke, her voice breathy and quiet. cutting herself off with a moan. the tightening in her stomach only tightening within each passing second.
her eyes stared up into his as best as she could, her eyelids droopy, her mouth ajar and her noises failing to sound as she was way too fucked out.
"yeah? you gonna cum on my cock, pretty girl?" he praised, his hand coming to her clit, rubbing the bud in tight, slow circles.
"fUck" y/ns voice broke, her back arched and her eyes rolled back.
her high approached fast, and the only warning she could give matt before she was climaxing was, "im- cu- matttt" a failed attempt, that was full of pleasure. matt continued thrusting, chasing his own high now.
matts eyes trailed down to her lower stomach, seeing the protruding dick imprint in her lower abdomen, "I fill you so deep, dont I baby?" he mumbled, his hips sputtering as his own high approached quickly.
"fuck, you feel so good" was all he said before he painted her walls white, a hoarse groan escaping his lips.
he continued thrusting, riding out his high before collasping ontop of y/n, still inside her.
"you did so good for me, baby" he mumbled, he pulled out before wrapping his arms around her waist and moving onto his side, pulling her in and holding her.
y/n moved her head into the crook of his neck, wrapping her arms around him and cuddling her body into his. slowly drifting off to sleep.
2479 words.
tags
@luverboychris @chrissturniolosfavoritesexdoll @meg-sturniolo @junnniiieee07 @mels22lunchbox @ssilentzom @dollyspsychoxo @sturnib-tch @b2cute @livvy4realll @graysturns @wh0resstuff
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mangosrar · 5 months
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call it closure
chris sturniolo x fem reader.
long asf. smut. filth. sexy chris 😛😛😛
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your relationship with chris had always been complicated, a will they wont they sort of thing. you both loved eachother, that was obvious, yes you were his, but he wasnt yours.
you both decided friends with benefits would be the best option. well for him. part of you agreed just so you could play pretend, trick yourself into thinking you had him, and you knew nothing lasted forever, but he fooled you for a while.
everyone knew chris had major commitment issues, but you just didnt understand. he treated you like the only girl ever behind closed doors, but the second anyone else was around, he would drop your hand.
you thought this would be fine, you had him, you had him to yourself and that was all that mattered. until you realised you didnt. he had you eating out the palm of his hand on complete puppet strings. he said jump and you asked how high. you had fallen down a dangerous rabbit hole, and the only way to escape was to drive a knife straight through the heart of whatever it was you and chris had.
flashback.
the house was the quietest youve ever heard it. matt and nick were out so chris had invited you over to smoke with him but you were pretty sure he had over done it because he had gone completely none verbal and just started staring at the wall. he was slouched down on the couch with his feet up on the coffee table and his hands in his lap. you were too, slouched down on the couch with your knees up. he took a deep breath in before breaking the silence.
"do you think were soulmates in every universe?" he said. not moving his eyes from the spot on the wall. you could have cried right there and then, feeling a deep aching pain bloom in your chest from his words. you hated how he was so absentmindedly killing you.
there was an abundant pause and a thick tension gathered in the air, you wondered if chris could feel it too.
"are we even soulmates in this one?" your voice was so quiet and soft you weren’t sure he even heard you, until he let out a frustrated sigh before bringing a hand up to his face and pinching the bridge of his nose.
"come on y/n dont start this shit now" his voice was harsh. he kept his eyes closed waiting for you to drop it, like you did every time, but you werent sure how much longer you could carry on like this.
"what chris? im being serious, i dont even know what this is anymore, you treat me like im everything one minute and then act like you couldnt care less is i fucking live or die the next!" you let your feet fall and land on the floor as you sat up and turned to face him.
"you know thats not true" he took his hand off of his face and let it rest in the air. his eyes still closed.
"do i?" your voice was quiet and broken. this was draining. the heavy presence of the fact he wasnt truly yours was sucking the life out of you. he opened his eyes and looked at you.
"we both agreed to do this y/n you cant put all of this on me" he sat up and rested his elbows on his knees, clasping his hands together and staring at you intensely.
there was a pregnant pause, he was waiting for you to defend yourself, or at least try to argue his point, but you couldnt, he was right, to a certain degree. yes you had both agreed to friends with benefits but you hadnt agreed to being hopelessly in love with someone who only reciprocated those feelings in the dark.
you dropped yours eyes, tearing them away from his and letting them linger on his hands before taking a deep breath in.
"i cant carry on like this, its killing me." he tried to cut you off momentarily but you held a hand up, stopping him. "i wont beg for you to love me anymore chris, because i know that somewhere deep down you really do". he said nothing as he stared at you. he was completely speechless. he felt that pain, just like you did, deep in his bones. you searched his eyes for something, anything, a sign that you were lying and just embarrassing yourself, a sign that told you he wasnt at all affected by this, any sense of doubt. you found nothing.
and with that, you left. you got up and walked out of that house, leaving chris to sit there and regret every singe life decision that had got him to this point, but he didnt come after you, he didnt try to stop you, he didnt try to change your mind and thats what stung the most.
end of flashback.
"im going to pack the car so everyone bring your bags down!" chris shouted from the bottom of the stairs.
you pulled the zipper closed on the bag before taking your phone off the bed and making your way downstairs, nick following close behind you. you didnt even look up at chris. you couldnt, you wanted to take complete advantage of the short amount of time you had left to distance yourself from him as much as possible.
it had been about 3 months since you walked out on chris, you hadnt spoke at all, he hadnt tried and neither had you, both of you just accepting fate and trying to move on, but considering the fact his two brothers were your best friends and you practically lived at their house with how much you were over, it was proving to be quite the challenge.
you just politely dropped your bag at his feet and scurried off into the kitchen, bumping into matt.
"you want me to drive the first or second half?" you asked. considering you were the only two that could drive, you insisted you would split it.
"i dont mind but, you sure you wanna have to sit next to chris for that long?" he lowered his voice slightly, his eyes darting to chris who was grabbing all the bags behind you, as his face scrunched up slightly. you glanced over your shoulder at him briefly before crossing your arms over your chest and shrugging.
"its okay, he wont talk to me anyways" you let out a pathetic laugh through your nose, trying to make the situation a little light hearted and a lot less embarrassing. matt obviously picked up on this but was kind enough to ignore it.
"ill do the first half, he will probably fall asleep by the time we swap anyway" he patted your shoulder and you nodded as he made a bee line for the front door.
matt and nick were probably the worst part of this whole situation. they were stuck smack bang in the middle of this pandemonium. of course they both knew what had happened but they gave you the courtesy of separating you and chris with you and them and decided to move past it. you and chris were both aware of how awkward it was for them, and thankfully, he was mature enough to not kick up a big fuss every time you were around. you hadnt spoken at all since that night, only the odd flash of a smile sent each others way when you crossed paths and that was rare, so when nick invited you on their weekend get away to a cabin in the middle of no where with them, you were obviously delighted.
the drive was excruciating. if it wasnt matt and nick arguing it was chriss shitty trap music playing or the gps redirecting you. while you were driving up front chris hadnt even spared you a glance, he didnt utter a single word to you the whole time.
part of you was grateful but another part of you wished he would have, selfishly, so you could just get over it and enjoy your weekend, but nothing was enjoyable anymore as long as chris was around.
"i call the double bed" chris yelled, running through the house.
"y/n theres a room with two singles, wanna bunk with me?" nick asked, slipping his backpack off of his shoulders.
"sure" you nodded, before making your way to the room, setting your bag down and plopping on the bed with a huff, matt trailed in behind you, with your suitcase.
"come on grouchy pants, were gonna have funnnn" he said swatting your leg that was dangling off the edge of the bed.
"i need at least 3-5 business days to recover from being within a 1 mile radius of chris for longer than 30 seconds" you let out a breath as you looked over to matt who was leaning on the door frame with his arms folded over his chest.
"that bad?" he raised his eyebrows in question.
"that bad" you replied flatley. matt just chuckled and motioned for you to follow him downstairs. you huffed and sat up before stomping down the hall after him.
in all fairness, it hadnt been that bad. the 4 of you had eaten, laughed played games and just had fun, regardless of the hanging tension wedged between you and chris. it was now 11:30 and everyone was asleep, but your mind just couldnt switch off, tossing and turning, checking the clock every 5 minutes. you huffed and looked over at nick who was out like a light. hot tub it is.
"i dont know madi, it just hurts" you spoke.
"has he even tried to talk to you?" she spoke over the phone.
"not one single word, and the thing is i dont know if i wanna strangle him or just kiss his fucking face off" you huffed, readjusting your arms so they were resting on the edge of the hot tub with your phone in your hands, the rest of your body being engulfed by the warm blanket of water.
"im worried my advice is gonna get you in trouble" she laughed, making you blow out a huff of air through your nose.
"it doesnt matter, i cant bring myself to do either" you and madi spoke for a little while longer beofre you wrapped the call up, put your phone on the ground and let your body sink lower into the steaming water until it was resting on your collar bones.
you sighed and let your head fall back, this is what you needed, a relaxing moment, the quiet calm of the night lulling your brain into a state of tranquillity, no matt and nick arguing, no chr-
"cant sleep?" you almost had a heart attack, your body jolted forward as your eyes darted around searching for the body that owned the voice.
"jesus, chris you scared the life out of me, how long have you been sitting there?" your hand rested on your chest, feeling the rapid beat of your heart from being startled. he just stared at you with drooped eyes from his position on the patio chair, opposite the hot tub.
"long enough" he said. his face didnt show any sign of emotion. his stoic expression sending an un willing chill up your spine, despite the warmth of the chlorine filled bubbles around you. chris leaned forward and you swallowed thickly.
"did you mean what you said?" his voice was alot softer and quieter than before, like he was worried you would break at the slight tone of his voice. you couldnt bring your self to look back up at him, he would eat you alive. you paused momentarily, weighing out your options of whether you even wanted to entertain this conversation with him or just cut him dead.
there was no way in hell that you were letting yourself fall back down this slippery slope again, so just like before, you abruptly got up and out of the hot tub, reached for your towel and made your way back inside, without sparing him a glance, keeping your eyes trained to the floor, leaving chris once again, to watch you walk away from him, and all the same, he didnt try to stop you.
"nick open the fucking door!" you whispered loudly. no reply.
resting your forehead against the door, you mentally cursed yourself for even going in the hot tub. you should have stayed in bed and this whole situation would be avoided, chris too. speak of the devil and he shall appear.
"what are you doing?" he stood just beside you with a questioning look on his face.
you huffed, pulling your head back and looking up at him.
"nick locked the door" you sounded so defeated it made his heart beat a little harder in his chest.
"you can come sleep with me, ill take the floor i dont mind" he motioned his head towards his designated bedroom while keeping his eyes trained to yours.
you dropped your head and sighed. how was this happening. you had spent months walking on egg shells, doing everything in your power to stay as far away from him as you could, and now you were forcing him out of his bed so you could sleep there.
he stared at you waiting for your answer. he knew you had no other option, you couldnt sleep on the couch with matt and you were also stood in a wet bikini and a wet towel. be realistic y/n.
"sure, okay" you looked up at him, and his eyes gained a fraction of hope momentarily, before he nodded and started leading you to his room. this was going to be a long night.
"um, i dont.." you paused and cleared your throat. "i dont have anything to wear" chris looked up at you from his position on the bed before his eyes trailed over your body, stood in a towel in the bathroom doorway shifting on your feet, looking like a nervous little girl.
you cleared your throat again, snapping chris out of whatever trance he had gotten into. he stood up and walked over to the dresser at the end of the bed, pulling out one of his t-shirts and a pair of boxers, before padding over to you and handing them over.
"thanks" you smiled.
"no problem" he replied, watching you turn back into the bathroom, slamming the door in his face and leaning against it, you werent sure if this was going to work, your left control was wearing thin.
how had it ended up like this? you tried so hard to have some composure but you couldnt help it, he was shirtless, clad in grey sweatpants hanging dangerously low on his hips, basically inviting you to jump straight on him.
his lips trailed down your neck as his hands ran up your sides, relishing in the feeling of your skin against his after 3 months of complete torture without it.
he brought his lips back up to meet your in a hot and heavy kiss, tongues dancing together, teeth clashing, the works. frantic hands gripping his hair relentlessly, pulling groans from his mouth.
chris brought his hands to the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head and separating the kiss, before diving back in and sucking purple marks into your neck and collarbones, earning breathy whines from you.
there was a moment of hesitation from you as he trailed his hands lower fiddling with the waistband of his boxers that you were wearing.
"chris wait" he halted his movements and brought his face up to yours. god he was making this so hard. he was breathing heavy and his hair was messy from your curious hands, his chain dangling between the two of you.
"we shouldnt be doing this" you shook your head, eyes wide.
"why y/n?" he asked breathlessly.
"because chris" you whined. he knew exactly why. all your hard work of keeping your distance from him had just been thrown into a sweltering ball of gasoline and chris had completely set it alight.
"call it closure" he whispered. he could see the inner turmoil you were facing. you knew you were about to give in, and judging by the smirk growing on his face, so did he.
you pulled his face down to yours again and he hummed into the kiss, the feeling of your lips on his being something no drug could ever amount to.
he continues his trail down your body, leaving wet hot kisses in his trail, keeping his eyes glued to yours. he was dragging this out, savouring the blaze of your touch.
"chris please" you whined.
"what baby? tell me what you want" he spoke in-between leaving kisses on your stomach and thighs.
"just fuck me" that was all he needed to hear before he was yanking your shorts down and doing the same with his own pants and boxers. he was on his knees between your legs, pumping his cock in his hand, eyes wondering over your frame hungrily.
"so pretty" he muttered before brining his lips to yours again and pushing his cock into you, giving you no time to adjust to his size before he was pulling all the way out and slamming back in over and over again. you were already a mess underneath him, mewling and moaning like you would never get the chance again.
"missed you so much baby, so fucking much" chris grunted in-between thrusts before peppering light kisses down the side of your face and neck. you just whined at his words.
his pace was relentless and your hands flew to his back, dragging your nails down his skin, pulling a low "fuck" from chriss lips.
"so good to me y/n, cant believe i ever fucking let you go" he said as he stilled his thrusts and pulled back, sitting on his knees and lifting your legs up to rest on his shoulders, and continuing his thrusts.
you let out a lewd moan at the new angle, hands gripping the bed sheets as chris arms wrapped around your thighs, drilling his cock into you so deep, hitting that spot inside that made you see stars.
"oh fuck chris dont stop" you mewled, letting your head fall back.
his pace became impossibly faster, every single thrust knocking the air out of your lungs.
you were pulsating around him, your high getting closer and closer. chris dropped your legs and doubled over, shoving his head into the crook of your neck with a deep groan.
"fuck y/n i can feel you squeezing me" his words were strangled and breathless. he brought his lips to yours once again but the pleasure was so good and you were so close you couldnt keep up with him, chris noticed this and smirked against your mouth.
"come on sweet girl, give it to me, come all over my cock" he said as he brought his thumb down to rub hard, fast circles over your puffy clit making your back arch even further off the bed.
you let out a strangled moan of his name before being launched into a pool of complete, white ecstasy, your eyes rolling to the back of your head. his thrusts did not falter as he sat up watching you ride out your orgasm with hooded eyes.
“you look so pretty like this ma”
he wasnt far behind, his hips stuttered before he let out a loud whine, followed by a hiss and a string of curses, painting your insides white, sending a few more thrusts, filling you to the brim, before collapsing on top of you.
the two of you were sweating and panting, both completely silent, just relishing in the feeling of the post sex haze. your hands come up to his hair and you ran your fingers through it soothingly.
he planted a soft kiss to your collarbone before bringing his face up so he was eye level with you. his eyes trailed over your face, creating a memory and he took a deep breath in before speaking.
"i do love you”.
_______________________________________________
YALL😛😛😛😛
sorry for starving you guys i’ve just been mad busy but i’m back !!!! love u. bee ❤️‍🩹
taglist: @christinarowie332 @biimpanicking @chrisenthusiast @urmyslxt @soursturniolo @kitaysworld @kvtie444 @mattslolita @flowerxbunnie @lovingsturniolo @its-jennarose @ermdontmindthisaccount @secret-sturniolo @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @justaslvttygirl @urfavstromboli @chrisfavoritepepsi @kenleighsbl0g @udonotknowme
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midascrow · 2 months
Text
Lucifer x GN!Reader
A Fan of the Devil?
———————//————
synopsis: Charlie’s father is introduced to the hotels “Gardener”, and comes to find out that they’re a fallen soul from above. He’s also surprised to learn that they’re a fan of his.
warnings: religious pressure(?)
an: Part 1? If this is well received ofc. This is told from Lucifer’s perspective and therefore his view and inner thoughts regarding what’s going on around him. I also threw in the idea that he’s bad with names cuz that feels very accurate to me lol
—————————————————————-
He hadn’t expected his daughter’s friends to be so….eccentric, upon meeting them. Of course he knew Charlie’s heart bled gold for any sinner around, but he thought-, more so he hoped that she would keep somewhat better company.
Especially in the revelation of this “RaDiO DEmOn”.
Baggie- Mag- Vaggie, was alright he supposed. She loves his daughter, perhaps just as much as he does,that much he was sure. And while he was a bit disheartened by having not known of their relationship prior, he was still content and moved by the way the two leaned towards each others embrace as they spoke.
His heart ached. Just a bit.
“Are they up in their room again?”
“I think they’re in the Garden again, hon.”
Garden? The hotel had a garden?
“Oh! Oh maybe we could-“
“I don’t know…you know how they can be about us going in there..”
“Pshhhh! I’m sure it’ll be fine Vaggie! Plus remember how they always talked about meeting him??”
Meeting who? Who’s meeting who??
Was there some kind of owl in here?
“Dad!”
“Ah!”
Charlie blinked down at her father in an awkward beam, watching his red eyes dart around nervously, for a moment or two. “Who?!-“ His throat dried and swelled in embarrassment, cracking his voice as he fixed his pride with a dust off his hat. “Uhm…Yes? Char?” Nailed it. Totally. Very cool and suave of you big boss.
His daughter smiled, a crease in her brow before she clasped his arm and tugged him forward, away from the peering eyes of the others and down a long corridor. “There’s someone- Well-there’s someone who’s been dying to meet you! Yknow ever since they arrived here it’s just be non stop-“
Someone wanted to meet him? Why??
Surely they were a weirdo.
His grimace must’ve given him away, because Vaggie, who he hadnt noticed following them till the moment of, gave a small hum, to cut through her girlfriends words.
“They were a bit of a fanatic on earth apparently.”
He dead panned.
“A cultist.”
“No.”
“A satanist?”
“That’s not even what satanists do!”
“…..”
“….A banker-“
“Just-!….Wait and you’ll see.”
He fell silent at that, a frown pulled onto his pale lips as his feet dragged him towards wherever they were headed.
He was a bit stumped when they came upon two large doors, both decorated in shimmering glass mozaics, depicting two dividing scenes. An Angel; hands carefully cupped around a beautifully red apple, kneeled down towards the other mural, was depicted on the right. And on the Left, in the same position, with the same red apple, a demon.
He shifted uncomfortably.
“Wow Honey! I uh- Didn’t know this door even existed! It’s very cool, yes yes very cool- now let’s head back to the-!” He called nervously, a half witted laugh leaving his sharp tooth smile as Charlie nodded vigorously, shiney eyes aglow as she took hold of the golden handles of the ornate doors, pulling them open with a mighty huff as a golden light spilled from inside.
It was startling to say the least, fact proven by how Lucifer felt his wings practically shoot from his back in defense, feathers cascading down in time with the petals and leaves that followed an imaginary breeze through the threshold.
His ears strained to hear the quiet sound of rushing water and leaves shaking, birds chirping and insects buzzing quietly somewhere in the back.
His skin warmed. Not in the way it naturally did from hells weather, but as if the sun was beaming down on his skin for the first time in eons. Of course, he knew it was fake. But it was so close.
“Oh- shit! Charlie!” A voice barked beyond the golden glow of the garden, a figure stepping out from the shadows of a large bush, covered in leaves and flowers as they stumbled clumsily through, racing towards the door and slamming it shut, completely ignorant to the king beside their hip, who’s gaze pierced them in silent wonder.
He hadn’t felt that in a while.
“What did I tell you about coming in unannounced! You could throw off the entire ecosystem! The slightest temperature shift might make one of the flowers wilt or one of the fruits shrivel! At least warn me before-“
“Ahem.”
The sinner paused, shoulders jumping stiffly as they froze, finger pointed towards Charlie rudely from their rant before their gaze shifted to the side.
He heard the way their breath hitched, and his chest puffed slightly in pride, wings fluttering just slightly.
“Hello there.” He was being cheeky, he knew that, though his smile felt a tad too genuine, caused by the sheer awe that glimmered across the sinners face at the sight of him. “Lucifer Morningstar, I don’t believe we’ve had the pleasure of meeting yet.”
He couldn’t find it in himself to dislike that look. He was the avatar of pride after all.
And a small part of him took a rather large enjoyment in the stuttering and stumbling of the sinner before him.
“Y-Your highness! Oh my gosh-“ He grinned “I wasn’t expecting your company- I would’ve dressed more- well I-“ Vaggie coughed from the side, redirecting their attention as they picked the stray foliage form their hair and clothes in a frenzy, towards the garden around them.
With a startled gasp they quickly stepped to the side, nearly tumbling in their haste as they held their arm out, presenting the garden to the king. “It’s..it’s an honor to meet you Sir.” Your voice was steadier, but still thick with anxiety that stuck like molasses to your tongue.
He watched your hand tremble, just slightly. Like his.
His wings fluttered again. A warm feeling bursting through his chest and into his eyes, giving them that shine that reflected the faux golden glow of the sun in the large green room. “The pleasures all mine, My dear. Do you mind explaining what it is you have-.…here”
His smile faltered, gaze stuck on the tree that stood tall and proud in the center of the spacious garden. Its leaves and branches stretched far, each adorned by beautiful red..apples, that hung and shimmered in the light. He expected the familiar ache of guilt to swarm his heart, but was surprised when he found himself breathless instead.
“I hope it’s..somewhat accurate. I’ve only seen recreations of course, never the real thing..” Your voice was a bit muffled in his mind.
He felt you step cautiously beside him, as he continued to gaze reverently at the scene before him. Shadows and memories danced past his eyes and through the patches of sun that decorated the floor. He swore he could hear quiet calls and whispers mix with the rustling leaves.
“You made this?” It wasn’t really a question.
Plants weren’t common in hell. Especially none such as this. They simply couldn’t grow in the rotted soil that spread across his kingdom. And there was simply no pure water to be found that could sustain them. So how-
“I might’ve take a few things before I fell.” You laughed shyly, cheeks warmed under the sun and the intense gaze of the King that snapped towards you.
Lucifer finally got a proper look at you. At your eyes and your features. Your afflictions. There was no denying you were a human soul. It was clear as day and still beat deep in your being. But..
“You were in heaven?” He gasped, eyes wide, mouth agape as he turned fully towards you, the grip on his cane tight as he scanned over the few demonic markings that lined your body, and the big golden X that flashed across your entire being. For only his eyes to see.
A virtuous soul cast out? Was that even possible? To turn away a true, virtuous soul, one of the few who had made it into heavens gate from their life on earth-
“It’s safe to say I didn’t truly agree with heavens teachings. It was too…polished.” There was an easy going smile that matched your tone, as you let your eyes wander towards the tree that wisely outshined every other plant in the garden. You continued.
“Heaven wasn’t my first choice. Frankly I didnt believe in it to begin with. But my folks were..somewhat of zealots. They wanted the best for me, I know that. But I missed…” You paused, seemingly thoughtful as Lucifer watched you with rapt attention, you both becoming ignorant to the two lovers that slipped out.
Charlie smiled softly to herself. Her dad needed this.
“I missed the free will that their religion took away from me.” Your gaze was knowing, almost wise like the tree when it peered back into his own, and Lucifer swore he felt something crack. Something lift from his shoulders and pulled his wings away, letting them spread proudly, in a way he hadn’t felt or experienced in years. Possibly ever.
“You know….I always enjoyed the story of you they told on earth.” Lucifer grimaced again, the vision of you dimming for a moment as he glanced away.
“Is that so? I’m sure they’re singing my praises.” It was a dry laugh, his hands gesturing in a faux confidence, but his lips quirked when he heard your muffled one.
“No, many aren’t. Most seem to align themselves with Heavens view…” You hummed thoughtfully and stepped forwards into the soft grass that peaked through the cracks of brimstone. Lucifer followed, instinctively. He felt leashed by your presence, though not necessarily in a bad way.
“Though there are plenty, who think a little more like me. There’s many versions of your story. I always knew that the original couldn’t be the full story. Too..one sided. Time on earth taught me that there was always a second side. Someone’s else thoughts-, perspective. Falling only confirmed that.”
You words tangled with your fingers that fluttered across the branches of a close bush, caressing a small flower that curled into your touch. “The first thing I did was look for the story. Of the garden. I wanted to replicate it, though admittedly there was never much detail to go off!”
You laughed again and the sound was quickly becoming a favorite of his. It was gentle..understanding. It almost hurt.
“And when I read the story..it was different. More romantic for sure.” You flushed softly, cheeks warm again as you recalled the way the story of Lucifer and Lilith warmed your soul. “But..more honest. Heart breaking even. I couldn’t believe how horrible it was must’ve been…and never knowing how amazing your gift was..” you turned to him again, your gaze so earnest and true that it made him step back.
Lucifer couldn’t deny the warmth in his own cheeks. You were pretty..pretty? That felt mundane. You practically glowed in the garden. And while it wasn’t a perfect representation of what Eden had been, it was better.
Eden had always been..one dimensional. It lacked the depth and feeling that Lucifer had hoped to give humanity. It was gorgeous, there was no denying that. But it wasn’t real.
This…This, is what he had hoped for the garden to be. Alive. Truly alive.
And…you brought it life…because of him? It didn’t feel right in a way. Having spent so many years locked away by himself and mourning the sin and ruin he had created from his own selfish wish.
Selfish? Had it been selfish? At the time, when he had done it, it didn’t feel selfish. He wanted humanity to live. To be alive! Truly, and honestly alive.
And you were so Alive. You were dead here in hell and yet you were breathing life into this gorgeous scene because you chose to. You chose to fall too. You chose to be in hell.
Because of him? Because of his…gift?
It was ironic almost. Laughable even.
Your lips pursed, a worried sweat on your brow as you lost that roaring confidence that bled into your words prior. “I’m sorry- I didn’t mean to preach or anything-“ He stopped you.
“So-.…you’re a fan?” His lips screwed into a wobbly smile, embarrassment creeping up his neck at his less then poetic comment, though the laugh you graced him with almost made the shame worth it.
“You could say that. I personally think I hold the title of number one fan, but you know beggars can’t be choosers I suppose.” You gestured animatedly, a small smirk on your lips as you professed your..favor towards the king, and he gleamed.
“Well!” His hands flew to his suit, straightening it out and letting his chest puff out from its slumped frame. “May I know the name of my, alleged, number one fan?” His words were coy, smug as he gestured to you with a flourish that he had shown to the other residents. (Of course till you had so rudely stunned him to silence)
The smile you gifted him was holy.
“(Y/N)…Your highness.” Your bow was playful, a little awkward and strained, but it made him laugh.
“(Y/n), hm? I’ll be sure to remember that.” His throat cleared briefly, “I…hope you wouldn’t mind me stopping by sometime again soon..I’d like to hear a bit more about your garden.” He liked the way you looked at him in this moment. Disbelieving but so hopeful. Like he was something, someone to gaze at in such a way.
“I’d be honored.”
Maybe you had a fan of your own now, as well.
———————☆
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hannieehaee · 4 months
Note
Hey! I was wondering if you could write about one of the svt memberd being super good friends with the reader, like touchy. And everyone else is begging them to get together? 💛
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content: f2l!chan, afab reader, seungkwan is far too nosy and too involved for his own good, fluff, etc.
wc: 1485
a/n: i wrote about channie since i think the while friends to lovers thing fits him super well hehe i hope u enjoy <3
masterlist
you and chan had been good friends for a good while now. well, no. it had been further than a good while. you'd known each other since you were young children.
despite chan's life taking a very drastic turn very early on upon his decision to become an idol, the two of you remained friends regardless. your friendship was truly one for the books. to chan's parents you were considered part of the family, which allowed the two of you to spend almost every waking moment together.
this pattern followed you into adulthood, a time in which you somehow becoming even more attached to the hip. his packed idol schedule never really got in the way of your friendship since chan would always insist on having you tag along, allowing you to take the role of one of chan's personal staff members in order to keep you as close to him as he could. this resulted in your friendship extending onto the rest of the members, who had known you since chan had first joined the company, practically treating you like yet another member of their family due to your constant presence.
now, your friendship with chan was quite special. the two of you were the closest duo that any of the members had ever seen. if anyone thought that chan was touchy with any member of seventeen, they surely hadnt seen how touchy he was with you. his hands were never off you for too long, nor his eyes. he was in constant watch of you, dragging you away from his members if they ever dared steal you away. if chan had a hotel room booked for tour, you were sleeping in bed right beside him. if he was at dance practice, he was cuddling you on the hardwood floor during his breaks. the boy practically broke out in hives if you were not in his arms, and the same could be said about you.
this was something the members used to find endearing; with the operative words being 'used to.' when you were teenagers, they had all seen it as cute and innocent puppy love between two childhood friends. however, the expectation had been that by the time the two of you turned 20, you wouldve snapped out of it and realized your very clear feelings for each other. but contrary to their assumptions, the two of you were now on your 24th year of age and had yet to move past the label of friendship. the thought of the two of you uselessly repressing your feelings for each other had most of the members going insane (mostly seungkwan) by then, which was something a few members had recently started to make known to their youngest brother.
~
one of the first few times in which seungkwan chan's friends began to show their frustrations at his lack of action in making you his took place on a regular afternoon. seungkwan and chan were walking together into the halls of the hybe building, with seungkwan suddenly inquiring as to why he didn't just close the deal with you and made it official.
"i told you it's not like that! we're just friends, that's it", whined chan for the nth time that week.
"i dont buy it. neither of you has ever been in a long term relationship. you're just playing the long game for no reason. she likes you, just ask her out!", seungkwan began to get exasperated at the stupid obliviousness of his friend.
"we work too much, it's– we have no time for relationships."
"'we'? see! you come as a package deal. just date each other!"
"hyung, just drop it. it doesn't mean anything," he groaned before parting ways as chan went onto some individual schedule and seungkwan joined vernon to head over to do a live together.
"what was that about?", inquired an unsuspecting vernon.
"asked him about y/n again."
"ohhh. don't worry about it. they'll see it for themselves one day. it's too obvious."
"yeah. guess you're right."
~
another instance in which chan was yet again bullied over his lack of self-awareness of his relationship with you was only a few days later. mingyu and seungkwan had just happened to walk in on you and chan playing badminton in the practice room. chan was wrapped around you from behind, hands holding onto yours, guiding your movements as jun played on the other side of the net. you were a mess of giggles as the ridiculous scene played in front of seungkwan's eyes.
"why do you look so disgusted?", spoke up mingyu, noticing the scowl on seungkwan's face.
"he's just so– he's an idiot! that's the love of his life! can't he just ask her out?"
"hmm. you're right. don't worry too much about it. i mean, look at them. it's only a matter of time."
"they're wasting years they could've spent together. god, why is he so dumb?", he wondered out loud, only earning a chuckle from his friend as the two of them joined in on your game
~
the next and final time seungkwan felt the need to express his frustration at your stubbornness had been upon walking into the practice room to find the two of you cuddled up on the floor. cuddled up might've been too light a term, seeing as you were laying completely on top of him with your face buried into the crook of his neck. your arms were nowhere to be found as they were dug into chan's hoodie, likely holding onto his bare back.
seungkwan scoffed at the sight. his friend looked far too content to be cuddling with a platonic friend. you looked too content to be cuddling with a platonic friend. the domesticity of it made seungkwan sick (okay, maybe he was being dramatic, but the two of you were far too frustrating to him!), causing him to walk over to you with judgement in his features.
"really?", was the first word out of his mouth as he stood over the two of you.
"wha ..?", chan tilted his head in confusion.
"this is platonic?"
"hyung, not this again ...", he groaned out, burying his head on your neck for a change.
you began to groggily sit up, now sitting on chan's lap rather than laying on top of him, "what are you guys talking about?"
"you know! there's no way you dont," seungkwan squinted his eyes at you as an annoyed look made its way onto his face.
"what?"
chan unburied his head from your neck, "he keeps insisting i ask you out because he thinks the way we act around each other isn't entirely platonic an-"
seungkwan interrupted before he could finish.
"our friendship is platonic. you ... you're a couple that's just too scared to put the actual label on it. you're driving me insane. either go out or stop being all over each other at all times!"
chan groaned out at his friend yet again, dropping his head to your chest as he hugged you closer to him. he took a breath against your chest before lifting his head back up, shooting his friend a glare before speaking up again.
"fine," he then turned to look at you, "will you be my girlfriend?"
his tone of voice sounded fed up, making anyone think that he did not mean his words. you, however, still sleepy and not fully understanding the context of the situation, lit up immediately at his words.
"yes!", you grinned at him, ignoring the presence of seungkwan and any other member who was now paying attention at the scene seungkwan had formed.
chan had to do a double take, staring at seungkwan and then darting his eyes right back at you, "w– what? you like me back?!"
"'back!'", seungkwan exclaimed with a gasp, "i knew it!"
"kwannie, shut up," it was seungcheol interjecting this time. about five members were now invested in the scene in front of them.
"yeah, of course i do ... were you not being serious?", you seemed put off by all the attention, but still putting all your focus on chan, who was still holding onto you as his wide eyes bore into yours.
"yes! i mean no– yes, i was being serious! be my girlfriend? please? wait, no. i wanna do this in private. c'mon, baby, let's go," he rushed to get the two of you up, grabbing your hand as he led you out of the room in a hurry, huge grins glued to both your faces as you giggled at each other.
seungkwan was left standing there, completely flabbergasted at how quickly it had all unfolded. suddenly he felt a hand pat his shoulder and a voice speak right next to him.
"huh. guess you were right," it was hannie.
yeah. he was right. now he could finally have peace knowing he had been successful in matchmaking his most stubborn friend.
a/n: chan asking reader out was inspired by that one tiktok of the guy who asked his bff to be his gf on video but she didnt know he was recording and she was all like 'yes :D!!!!' n he was all like ':00 okay!!!' idk i just found it so cuteshsjos
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ifimdreaming · 2 months
Text
i don’t deserve you
//
Luke Hughes x Reader
authors note: i wrote this super quick and also on my phone so idk the word count or if this even makes sense because it is unedited lmaooo but I hope you enjoy it!
-
You had just hopped out of the shower and were putting on uour leggings and one of lukes hoodies to wear for the day.
You hadnt really been wearing anything besides for lukes hoodies when you have a day at home since you two started dating so honestly it was nothing new.
Going back to your room after cleaning up the rest of your stuff in the bathroom, you remembered you forgot to text Luke back last night. he always gets on you about that but you always forget how worried he gets when you don’t reply to his calls or texts.
And when you head to look at your phone that’s plugged into the charger on your bedside table, you see many missed notifications from your worried boyfriend.
(4 missed called from: Lukey @ 10:37am)
Lukey: hey you said you’d call me at 10?
Lukey: call me back pls
it was now nearing 12:00pm and you knew he would be more than a little bit pissed off that you weren’t answering him.
and you felt terrible about forgetting so you unplug your phone and called him back right away, sat on your bed with a towel around yojr hair as the phone rings in suspense.
“baby? ...let me guess? you forgot to check your phone again?..” he quickly says as you are getting more comfortable on the bed, relieved he had answered your call.
You just hum in response as he pours out his concern to you, knowing that all he’s saying is true.
“i’m so so sorry. i completely forgot. i know you’re looking out for me but i fell asleep without texting and i literally just got out of the shower.” You say and hear him sigh at your words.
“Luke i promise i’ll try to keep my phone close by cuz i know you worry...but i’m fine i promise” you say apologetically .
“i didn’t get murdered or anything..” you add jokingly but quickly follow up with an “i’m kidding...” before luke gets a chance to be a smart ass and tell you not to joke about that.
You laugh a little hearing him sigh with an unamused tone in his voice.
“anyway, how are you?” You ask trying to move on from the subject knowing he is already annoyed about you not answering his calls.
“i really miss you...” he sighs out and you hear the little bit of sadness in his voice and instantly feel exactly how he’s feeling.
“i miss you more bubs...trust me time will fly by way faster than you know it…we’ll see each other soon..i promise.” You reassure him, not trying to sound too cheesy but also trying to lift his spirits somewhat.
it’s been over 2 months since you’ve seen each other last. School has picked up and made it impossible to be able to visit him in jersey, even just for a weekend.
You were starting to forget a time where it actually was easy to see each other.
And you were getting so used to late night phone calls to one another, and luke sending you random long ass text messages about how much he misses you at random hours of the night. and you being so fed up with everything that you cave and just call him even when you know he’s busy or at practice, because you miss hearing his voice so much.
“it’s just been so long since i’ve seen your face. ugh i hate this shit so much. i’m just... so fucking over it.” Luke continues pouring out and his words are laced with a bit of anger, causing his voice to have a scratchy and dark quality.
he’s clearly getting more and more frustrated about the current situation the longer it goes on and you know he’s getting irritated with only being able to talk on the phone and over facetime. we both are.
“Luke i understand... i miss you and i love you so much. And look, i know you’re upset but there’s really not much we can do about it right now is there?” You say before luke interrupts you with a loud sigh.
“hey what can i do though? huh? ...how can i help you feel better?” You ask with as much reassurance in your voice as possible, trying hard to keep your voice high and uplifting even though youre feeling just as down and unhappy as he is right now.
he doesn’t answer and you are sat in silence for too long to still be expecting him to answer your question.
“what’s on your mind? Will u just talk to me?” You ask innocently.
“ugh. fuck! i don’t know! nothing i guess.” Luke sighs out, raising his voice and catching you off guard.
“i’m just trying to help … can you calm down a little..” you say quietly because you know he was probably wound up about a lot of stuff on his mind and you can tell that he is putting his anger in the wrong places.
“you don’t need to tell me to calm down...there’s nothing you can do ok? it’s fucking awful. i hate this...fuck..” he spits out at me. “can we just talk about something else?” he asks with his voice still raised.
“look, im not trying to force you to talk to me if you don’t want to but you called me and clearly something is on your mind..whether it’s the fact that we can’t be together right now or something else but you can’t just get angry with me for no reason.” You say sternly and hear him about to say something more but you interrupt him “just please lower your voice...” you add.
“i’m not getting angry. i’m just really fucking annoyed and you’re not helping” he says exasperatedly and you are taken by surprise with his words and a little pissed off that he’s taking out whatever he is angry about at you.
You stay silent on the other end of the phone as his words instantly put tears into yohr eyes and you don’t say anything because he is being so unnecessarily rude to you.
“i’m sorry, i’m just having a really fucking bad day...” he adds and you hold your breath trying to not make your shaky breathing noticeable as he keep talking.
You begin to feel the tears slowly start to stream down your face but you quickly blink them away knowing he’s only mad about the situation and not worth yours tears. but his words made you feel so so hurt.
there’s silence between the both of you for a few seconds as you try to get yourself together and acknowledge that he hurt you.
“Ok. Im not gonna sit here and listen to you complain about something that i literally cannot fix or change right now. i’m sorry you’re feeling upset and angry with what’s going on but you can’t just call me and take all your fucking anger out on me. it’s just not fair. i really miss you too ok? ...i’m sorry we can’t be together right now but i can’t do anything to help if you’re not going to tell me what’s actually wrong...just...call me back when you calm down a little” you say trying your hardest to not raise your voice and lash out exactly like he just did to you.
he’s quiet on the other side of the phone and you hear him about to reply as you hang up the phone before he has the chance to respond, knowing you are probably not going to like or want to hear what he has to say to you at this moment anyway.
this isn’t the first conversation that’s went like this recently. this past week luke has been getting more and more pissed off and angry rather than just upset about you not being able to see each other right now and it’s not doing you any good.
Youve been trying your hardest to just hear him out and be there for him but today’s conversation was different, usually you share a mutual sadness about not being able to see each other and talk about all the things you miss and then it cheers you both up hearing all the fun things you can do together once exams and the hockey season ends.
but today luke wouldn’t even tell you what was bothering him without getting mad and it didn’t help that he was putting his anger towards you.
Feeling really frustrated about that conversation, you plug your phone back into the charger and start to feel a slight sinking in your stomach.
You hated the fact that you just hung up on him and didn’t resolve your discussion. And you knkw it was his fault for getting angry at you but can’t help but feel a little guilty for just hanging up the phone without saying goodbye.
to get your mind off of it for a while you start tidying up your room and play some music to drown out the silence.
Now it’s almost nearing 2pm and luke hasn’t called back or even texted and it’s been almost an hour.
You begin to get more and more pissed off that he hasn’t said anything and consider just sending him a text but you remember the things he said to you . so you ignore the feeling and continue waiting for him to call you back.
-
After deciding to lay down and read a book to distract yourself, you accidentally fell asleep for a few hours. Waking up to see that it’s around 6pm...you definitely slept longer than you should have.
Surprisingly, you see that luke tried calling back and left a few texts as well.
Lukey: hi
Lukey: i’m really sorry about earlier
Lukey: can you call me back please? i need to apologize...i didn’t mean to get upset at you. i know none of this is your fault
Lukey: please call me back
You decide not to answer him right away and start making yourself some mac and cheese and sitting at the dining room table waiting as you wait for the water to boil.
You were beginning to get so impatient. Impatient with everything, but especially with luke. You wanted him to call you again. Do something, say something. Try harder.
Your thoughts were spiraling and you knew calling him back was really the only way to stop them.
After finishing making and eating your dinner you sit down at the couch to finally call luke back. at this point your stupid argument definitely didn’t feel worth all this and you felt a little guilty for ignoring him all day long.
You ultimately decide to facetime him so you can see his face and he answers you on the second ring.
immediately you see him laying down in his bed wearing no shirt and his wet hair hanging down his face on one side and his face slightly smushed against his pillow.
he smiles at you knowingly and waits for you to say something so that he knows if i’m still angry at him or not.
“why are you staring at me?” You blush a little, ignoring your anger for a moment. he just smiles back at you with his pretty little face and completely ignores the question.
Luke sees you awkward laugh a little feeling a bit insecure with the way he’s staring at you, but he continues. and he laughs lightly as he sits up and turns the light on so that you can see him better.
“i’m really really sorry baby...” he starts “i’m sorry for getting upset at you. I shouldn’t have done that. i was just so fed up and tired of not being able to see you and i let my feelings get the best of me, i also was just having a really shitty day. Practice fucking sucked today and you already know how shitty our game has been lately.” He says with honest sincerity and regret in his voice.
“i took my anger out at you which i should not have done...and im really not trying to make any excuses because I know i hurt you. And i promise i won’t get mad at you about this ever again, especially since you did absolutely nothing wrong...” he spills out apologetically.
You say nothing at first and just wait for him to continue his apology. making it clear to him that he was completely out of hand and you are not gonna put up with his bitchy attitude. And he continues,
“... to be honest i’ve been feeling like you don’t miss me as much as i miss you which sounds stupid but i just got so angry because i didn’t understand. When you forget to call or text i just…i take it hard..” he says trailing off at the end.
“what? luke i’ve been trying so hard to keep it together for you because i know how upset this makes you. trust me when i tell you i miss you more than anything...i suck at remembering things like texting goodnight and stuff because I’ve just been so exhausted with work and school. You’re on my mind all the time and i promise you that i will try harder to not forget those things.” you quickly reply, making sure he understands just how much you mean it.
“i love you so much.” You add and smile at him as uou see his small smile on your phone screen.
“i love you too baby. i’m so sorry for getting mad..” he says quietly and puts his head down a little.
“it’s ok...i understand your frustration.” You add with a little laugh letting him know you’re over it.
“i saw your instagram story..” you change the subject and he smiles at you with his face getting a bit red.
“You posted us?” You say knowingly as he smirks at you and runs his hands through his hair.
Luke had posted a slightly blurry photo of the two of you on the boat last summer saying he misses both the summer and you. It made you melt to see him gush about you, especially because he was typically such a private person.
“You are so cute..” you say honestly. and youstart to laugh a little remembering that night on the boat together and how it was the night luke asked you to be his girlfriend.
Luke wasnt always the most romantic person but he put so much thought into that night, his words, every little thing he planned he put so much care into and it was such a beautiful moment.
You would never forget it.
“im glad you saw it. i wanted to show you how much you mean to me..and how sorry i was.” he chuckles and it makes you softly laugh, knowing the world would have no idea that post was technically an apology to you.
“will you stay on FaceTime with me tonight? i miss falling asleep with you…” you ask politely and luke nods his head and smiles at you.
“of course...” he replies.
“i’m glad you’re not mad at me anymore baby” He says quietly.
“I could never stay mad at you..” you say knowing how true of a statement it honestly was.
“...and I don’t deserve you” luke says almost in a whisper, seemingly more to himself as opposed to you
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