#yes i’ve been there it’s fucking cool

[artinvain]

Sevika takes care of you bc you’re working too hard 🥹 + squirting

‧̍̊˙˚˙ᵕ꒳ᵕ˙˚˙‧̍̊˙˚˙ᵕ꒳ᵕ˙˚˙‧̍̊˙˚˙ᵕ꒳ᵕ˙˚˙‧̍̊˙˚˙ᵕ꒳ᵕ˙˚˙‧̍̊˙˚˙ᵕ꒳ᵕ˙˚˙‧̍̊˙˚˙ᵕ꒳ᵕ˙˚˙‧̍̊˙˚˙ᵕ꒳ᵕ˙˚˙‧̍̊˙˚˙ᵕ꒳ᵕ˙˚˙ you’d been working like a mad man. every day was 12 to 14 hours of work. it was safe for sevika to say you were a worse workaholic than she was and this week was particularly rough. “honey, come to bed,” you whine as sevika starts to massage your shoulders. they’d risen to your cheeks while your eyes trained on the video you edited, trying to get the perfect L cut but the sound refused to sync.

“jesus fuck! are you serious ?” you near yell when your machine starts to buffer and then shuts down. “I’m about to scream or cry,” you bite your lip, your face in your hands, wondering whether your work has saved while sev was thinking about other ways she could make you scream and cry.

“okay, that’s enough for today yeah? even the computer’s tired, come on honey. It’s time for a break,” sev cooes gently into your ear, easing you up from your chair with encouragement and rubbing your lower back. “s’okay baby, we’ll sort it out tomorrow,” she reassures you as you press your forehead against her chest. “I’m just so tired,” you relent, letting her arms engulf you, her fingers scratching your scalp.

“I know honey, that’s why you need a break,” sevika kisses your forehead, “let me take care of you yeah?” you finally nod and let sevika lead you to the bathroom where she had a hot bath waiting for you. “I’m so glad we invested in this stupid, giant tub” you moan as you sink into the hot water, sevika behind you. her hands immediately massaging your body, the soapy water glittered with essential oils relaxing you. you sigh, leaning back against sev, and letting her caress your body, until her hands and massaging your breasts. your breath hitches as she gently tugs your nipples, you turn your face into her neck and press firm kisses there as she plays with your tits.

“that’s it baby just relax for me,” she says so sweetly your body complies, melting into her as her fingers trail down your stomach, warm rough fingers circling your clit softly until you’re whining. “that feel good honey?” you girlfriend asks as she lets her fingers play with your clit, your back arching “yes sev, so good baby,” you sigh, your hand coming to rest of her wrist. you hadn’t realised how pent up you were, how much you’d neglected the bedroom and sevika recently.

“m’sorry I’ve been so busy babe,” you whine as her fingers dip down to your hole, “should be taking care of you,” you stutter as her thick finger fills you and curls. “nuh-uh, how many late night have I had?” she asks rhetorically. “you work hard and I’m proud of you,” she sighs against your temple, starting to fuck you slow. your head falls back on Sev’s shoulder, her cool arm holding your tits, playing with your nipples.

sev works you at a rhythm that has your hips bucking, riding her fingers as they fuck you deep and soft, “fuck, another, please another finger sev,” your girlfriend groans, “so perfect, asking for what you need,” she groans, feeling your pussy stretch around her fingers, pulling her in. the wetness of your walls the feeling of them soft against her makes her mouth salivate. she brings her bionic fingers to rest heavy on your clit, rubbing soft while her fingers hasten in pace. “so precious sweetpea,” sev smiles against your temple as you arch your back, “let me take good care of ya,”

she sets you off, the constant rubbing on your gspot and your clit. your legs are shaking and she has to carry you out of the bath. she dries you both off, kissing every bit of exposed skin as she does so. then lays on you the bed, rubbing her hands in coconut oil she presses them into your back. massaging out every kink and knot she can find, you don’t notice her wicked smirk as she slips your bulbous vibrator into you, making you whimper. you cannot move as sev sits on your ass, moaning quietly as she humps you, her hands still rubbing and massaging your back. your clit bumping the mattress as you feel her wetness spread against your ass. fuck you could lie like this with her forever.

you squeak at the pressure and sevika massages your shoulders, squeezes and pulls her hands down to your hips, leaning over you to kiss your face. “you’re fucking perfect you know that?” sev asks as she tightens her grip on your hips, grinding so you both feel that delicious pressure on your clits and the vibrator presses against your gspot. “love you so much,” she whines, kissing and licking your earlobe. grinding until you’re both huffing and sighing, Sev’s wetness making a mess on you, “and you’re so fuckin’ soft sweet pea,” she moans feeling her clit rub over your oiled ass and fuck when you turn your head more to capture her mouth, bite her lip as her brows furrow — she cums embarrassingly fast, gasping and groaning, her hips falter against your soft, plush ass.

sevika turns you over getting her legs over her torso and shoulders as she kisses down from your mouth so your wet lips, kisses your clit so sweetly. slowly licking and lapping in contrast to how she turns the vibrator up. “fuck, sev!” you have to grab for her hands, intertwining them as she laps and suckles at your clit, shaking her head from side to side. eating you as though she were ravenous. she releases one of your hands, guiding it to her hair and using her free hand to rub over your clit, watching your pussy clench around the vibe and your back arches as her fingers rub and swipe across your clit.

“so pretty under me, so fucking — god you make me so wet,” she groans, feeling her lips swollen and sticky as she licks over your whole pussy. sevika pulls at the vibrator, pushing it in the out against your gspot, sucking at your clit, her head bobbing with the movement of the vibe. sevika moans around your clit and it has you cumming, grinding up against your face your broken moans riling her up.

“god you’re so good to me, look at this pretty leaky cunt,” she moans, pulling the vibrator from you and lapping at your wet hole, sliding her fingers in in its place and curling them, holding them against your gspot, rubbing and grazing as she presses down on your belly. “oh god sev!” you’re squirming, “trying” to push her away, the pleasure overwhelming, “take it honey, want you to feel good for me,” sev groans when you clench down around her, “that’s it just take it,” her thrusts shallow and deep “feel so good pea, slippery pussys’ just pulling me in,”

you can feel her fingers grazing every part inside of you, she’s sucking on your clit and pulling off with a pop as you pant, your chest tightening. “sev, please please m’close,” you whine and sevika slows her pace slightly. grinding soft just barely grazing you until you’re trying to fuck yourself on her face and fingers. “okay baby cum for me yeah, want you to feel really good and make a mess on my face,”

sev moans, licking your clit and suckling again, her fingers curling and fucking you deep and hard her pace never faltering until you’re pent up, your body tensing with immense pleasure and warming as you spurt into her mouth. sevika whimpers as she tastes you, licking and swallowing and swiping her face back and forth across your cunt until her face is dewy with your mess.

Tags @archangeldyke-all @sexysapphicshopowner @sevsbaby @iamaboringrattat @sapphicsgirl @bimboprincezz

#sevika x you #sevika x reader #sevika x reader smut #sevika arcane smut #sevika arcane #lesbian #lesbian smut #sevika smut #Sevika arcane x reader smut #sevika x you smut

[billskeis]

Hi, could you do Bill Kaulitz imagine, comforting the female reader, because it's been very stressful for her lately?

ᡣ𐭩 boyfie bill who nurtures his gf

you slam the door, flinching, you didn’t expect it to be so loud although it was intentionally you’re doing. bill welcomes you with open arms but you walk right past him, a pout forming on his face. he swears he can see the storm clouds floating above your head, today was just not a good day. or week, you’ve been stressed for some time.

“schatzi, bad day?” all you could do was sigh and nod, back facing to him but he can still see the motion of your head moving up and down. this is all he needs for him to sweep you off your feet and face you now hand in hand, twirling you to meet each other’s eyes. “bill?” you ask.

he smiles at you, cupping your face in his hands as you nuzzle your nose into his palms, taking in his scent. home, bill smelled so much like home. you feel a little bit more comfort knowing that you have someone like him in your life, “you’ve done so much this week baby.. let me show you some appreciation,” “bill, i’ve got more work to do..”

he shakes his head in disapproval, “i won’t take no for an answer, c’mon, you deserve it. how ‘bout a bath? and while you’re in, i can cook a meal.. after that, we can watch a movie, do face masks, snack on whatever we want..? just—spend time with me—you’ve overworked yourself, now lemme paper you ja?”

you hesitate. your office job clearly working you to the bone. just paperwork after paperwork, call after call. no lunch break, overtime. you’re boss is an asshole. you only have one or two friends at work, the rest of them dare not to associate with you. a day to you and bill.. does sound pretty nice.. well, fuck it, those corporate slaves can go kick rocks.

you pull bill in for a hug, a nice squeeze and the way your face dug into his chest was all he needed to realize your approval. kissing the top of your head, he breathes you in, “my beautiful angel.. let’s go run you that bath hm?” “mmhm..” taking your hand, he leads you to your shared bathroom.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

sitting in the warmth of the bath tub, bubbles are all that surround you as the faint scent of coconut and vanilla fill the room. you dip your body further into the big puddle of water, submerging yourself, body and muscle finally relaxing from all the tension and strain your poorly funded office chair has you stuck in for a consecutive eight hours.

a patter of small footsteps come closer as you’re now met with your boyfriend sitting at the edge of the bath tub. “how s’that feel? feel better?” “definitely, i needed this so much.. thank you baby,” bill runs the palm of his hand on the back of your neck, slightly adding pressure to message the tension out of your body. just a slight touch is more than enough.

“it’s my duty as your boyfriend.. been working so hard my pretty girl, a lil’ self care don’t hurt doesn’t it?” you scoff at him, knowing of your workaholic tendencies. on multiple occasions bill has offered many times a self care day as such, which always ends with a decline. you were so stubborn, a determined individual to get your work done but at what cost? this, is way better than that stupid office job.

“bill,”

“yes baby?”

“i smell something burning,”

“oh shit—mwah—THE FOOD!!!”

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

you and bill had ended up ordering takeout for the night. as you two cuddle on the couch covered in blankets, bill sulks as he takes a bite of his pad thai. “bill! it’s okay, i appreciate the gesture, you’ve done enough baby i promise.” “no! no baby it was—it was supposed to be perfect for you. i stayed up all night researching comfort foods and i couldn’t even do a simple recipe like that..” he stayed up all night?

as he fusses in his spot, his face mask threatens to slip off his face from so much facial expression movement. you use your fingers to fix and adjust the sheet mask back comfortably onto his face, the cooling sensation once again touching his plush cheeks. “billy, it’s okay, it’s just food.. next time okay?” “next time :D? we can do this next time :D?”

you giggle and laugh at him, he’s so cute. linking arms with him, you scarf down on the fried rice, it was really good. you think about how good bill’s cooking would taste, known for being a great home chef. well, to you and tom at least. your day was made so much better, all warm and cozy inside, so grateful to have bill in your life.

you look at bill who’s already looking at you. he asks you if you were okay because he’d been watching you eat this whole time and saw how you seemed lost in thought. you reassure him, letting him know that you are just thankful that he’s doing all this for you, he can only cheekily smile and tell you ‘you deserve it, my beautiful princess, s’glad i was able to make your day.’

you take each other’s face masks off. you massage the essence of the face mask onto bill’s face. he closes his eyes for better leverage as you gently press your fingers into his cheeks, forehead and every nook and cranny of his face. you tap his face so he can open his eyes as you finally finish. as you raise your hands to start on yours, bill swats them away and tells you ‘lemme do it!’ as he brings his own to massage your cheeks, pressing a quick kiss to the tip of your nose before he starts.

you think about a resignation.

oooookay this one was bad . sorry guys D: i appear to be losing my spark

FRET NOT ! i am not leaving , just probably won’t be as active as i think i’ll be . will occasionally post :3

#tokio hotel #tokio hotel x y/n #tokio hotel x you #tokio hotel x reader #tokio hotel fluff #bill kaulitz #bill kaulitz x y/n #bill kaulitz x you #bill kaulitz x reader #bill kaulitz fluff #2000s #fyp #billskeis

[duckiemunson]

Diva

Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Summary: Wayne got Eddie tickets to see Iron Maiden in Indianapolis with his lovely lady, you. Thing is, Eddie turns into a bit of a diva when getting ready for an event like this. He wants everything to be perfect so he remembers it for the rest of his life. So when you’re ready to go, Eddie can’t find his favourite ring, and all hells breaks loose.

Disclaimers: Swearing, some light touching??

Side Notes: No upside down, no events of season 4. This is my second time writing a random middle of the night thought, not sure if anyone is even going to see this but if you do, thank you! My writing is very amateur so if anyone has any tips please send them my way. Enjoy!

The steam coming from the extremely hot shower was making it hard for you to do your hair in the small bathroom with the even smaller mirror. Constantly having to rub the small towel over the mirror to clear the steam off.

You’re running your fingers through the messy curls on your head mumbling small “mhm”’s while Eddie is behind the shower curtain talking your ear off about how excited he is for tonight.

Wayne had saved up and gotten Eddie two tickets to Iron Maiden’s Somewhere on Tour Tour with WASP also being in attendance, in Indianapolis. He insisted on Wayne coming with him but he denied quickly saying “I damn near have hearin’ loss just from you playin’ their music. I’ll ‘prolly go fully deaf if I hear the real thing. Take ‘yr girl who listens to that ruckus with you, it’s why I got ‘em for ‘ya.”

He called you immediately after Wayne said that. He was rambling so fast due to excitement he had to repeat himself twice for you to understand what he was saying. That was 2 months ago, and today is the day, the man has been bouncing off the walls since you both woke up in his bed this morning.

“I’m telling you. Come tomorrow morning I’m going to have no voice, probably won’t be able to move my neck, maybe a few scrapes and bruises, who the fuck knows!” Eddie says as he finishes up his shower.

“All I want out of this is a cool t-shirt.” You smile even thought he can’t see you. You love how excited Eddie gets for things he loves. Music, dnd, his books, you.

“Oh, I’m going to buy every piece of merchandise that booth has to offer. I’ve been saving since Wayne got these tickets.” It’s true. He has this special box on his desk that he puts money into when he’s saving up for something special.

You finished up your makeup quick and put everything back into your toiletries bag you keep under the sink at Eddie’s. You stay here a lot, you like to have your things with you always.

“Hurry up your shower babe, I’m almost ready and we should hit the road soon so we can check into the hotel and grab a bite to eat before the show.” You say as you put your bag under the sink. You guys were also able to save a little bit to get a hotel room just outside the arena, so you didn’t have to drive home in the middle of the night after rocking out a little too hard.

You stand and put on your skull necklace that was sitting in the jewelry dish you got for Eddie to put his rings in when he showers. The necklace resembles the skull ring Eddie has. When Eddie got the ring it came with a matching necklace as well. Eddie never wore necklaces but his guitar pick, so he just kept it in his room. But when you came along and were always so fascinated with his rings, especially the skull one, he gave you the necklace. Said you’d always have a part of him. He also said “It’s pretty fuckin’ metal on you babe,”

“Yes dear.” Eddie replies in a mocking tone. You snort and head out of the bathroom and into Eddie’s room to get dressed. You have an outfit laid out on his bed next to his laid out outfit, one of his very well loved Iron Maiden t-shirts, black jeans, and one of Eddie’s older leather jackets that doesn’t fit him anymore but fits you like a glove. Eddie’s outfit is an Iron Maiden long sleeve shirt with graphics on the front, sleeves, back, everywhere. Black jeans with rips in the knees and his battle vest with an extra WASP patch added to it.

Eddie comes sauntering in with a towel around his waist and his hair sopping wet.

“Eds. Dry your hair in the bathroom you’re getting water everywhere.” You try to dodge his clumsy movements as his wet curls sway around and cover the surfaces of his room in drops of water.

“My other towel was in here.” He takes it off his desk chair. “My hair looks better when I scrunch it dry with this towel.” He holds it up, then folds his body over to grip his curls with the towel and dry them into place.

“Does the towel have magic hair curling powers?” You giggle and Eddie looks up at you with a smirk, grabs you and starts to shake his head like a dog after a bath, covering you in spots of water.

“God damnit Eddie I just got dressed!” You laugh and try to push him away. He pulls away and laughs as well.

“And you look very nice my love.” He grins “But don’t be a smart ass.” He lightly taps your ass and you stick your tongue out at him.

“Get dressed. We need to go.” You tap your watchless wrist and step out of the room so he can get dressed without distractions. You saunter into the kitchen to grab some soda’s from the fridge you grabbed for the drive up to the city.

“You kids almost ready?” Wayne calls from the living room as he sits in his chair with a beer, watching some sports game.

“I think so, just waiting on your diva of a nephew to finish getting ready-“

“Fuck! Where is it?! Shit!” You both turn your head the direction of Eddie’s room as you both hear him frantically cursing and things flying around his room. “Babe?! Have you seen my ring?!” He calls in a panic.

“Which one Eds?” You call as you’re already walking to the bathroom, Wayne chuckling in the background, and looking in the jewelry dish. Which is empty.

“My skull one!” He calls back. You’re trying to remember if you saw it in there when you grabbed your necklace.

“I dunno, do you remember having it on before your shower?” You walk into his room, which you didn’t think could become more of a disaster.

“Yes? No? Fuck I don’t remember!” He says as he shoves his body under his bed, random items flying from where he’s lying.

“Okay chill out, we’ll find it. And if we don’t, no biggie” You try to reassure him as you also take a look around his room.

“No biggie?! That thing is my lucky charm! Always has been! And now it’s extra lucky because I have it matching with you!” He jolts himself out from under his bed and starts ripping the blankets and pillows off his bed like a madman, a stray pillow hitting you in the process.

“Okay, just- Eds just take a deep breath” You kick the pillow away as it fell at your feet. “When was the last time you saw it?” You stare at him as you watch the gears turn in his head as he thinks.

“Um, shit I don’t know. They’re just like a part of me now I don’t really think about ‘em.” His hand rubs up and down his jaw as he anxiously looks around still. “I did take them off last night when I was fixing the stereo in my van. I had to get my fingers in small places and the rings were getting in the way.” He sighs.

“Okay, I’ll go check your van and you keep checking your room okay? We’ll find it.” You stand on your toes and give his check a quick peck. He looks at you and gives you a little nod, but you can tell he’s not convinced.

You make your way out to Eddie’s van, grabbing his keys on the way out that were hung by the door. You whip open the drivers door and thank whatever god there is that while Eddie was fixing his stereo yesterday, you hung out in the van tidying it up for him, you wanted to spend time with him. But he had things to do, so you made it that you also had things to do.

You check in the centre console, glove box, cupholders, under all the seats, in the door slots, everywhere it feels like. A defeated sigh leaves your lips as you step out of the van and close the door.

“Well?!” Eddie’s voice comes from the trailer, as you look over he’s half hanging out his bedroom window. You just shake your head. “Fuck sake.” he grumbles and slides himself back in his room. When you step back into the trailer, Wayne has now also joined this fun easter egg hunt. He’s on all fours with a flashlight looking under the couch.

“How nicely did Eddie ask you to help?” You snicker as Wayne huffs out a chuckle.

“Not very, but I ain’t gon’ hol’ it against him.” Wayne gets back up on his knees, then uses the arm rest on the couch to stand fully up.

You and Wayne basically tear apart that living room to look while Eddie is still destroying his room. Curses and thumps coming from it as well. Finally you and Wayne just flop yourselves onto the couch.

“Did you try and tell ‘em it’ll be alright if you don’ find it?” Wayne leans forward to grab his fresh beer from the coffee table. You just slowly turn your head to him and raise your eyebrows a little as to say yeah and how do you think THAT went? He chuckles as he brings his beer to his lips.

Eddie comes flying out of his room, the curls he tried to keep at bay are now going every which direction and seem even poofier than usual.

“I’ve looked fucking everywhere and I can’t find it but- HEY!” You and Wayne both look at him at the sudden screech. “Are you guys- What’re you- Why aren’t you looking?!” He throws his hands up in the air.

“We looked everywhere we could. This trailer ain’t that big kid, not many hidin’ places.” Wayne says and Eddie just dramatically sighs and puts his hands on his hips. Very much resembling Steve when he’s giving the kids, or Eddie, a motherly scolding.

“Eddie, dearest, love of my life. We have to go. I know it’s your lucky charm and all, but the night is still going to be amazing, with or without the ring.” You stand to make your way over to him and Eddie puts his hands in the pockets of his vest, probably to grab a smoke and his head shoots up, same with his hand. Lo and behold in his hand, is that god damn ring.

“Yes! I found it! Oh thank god!” He dramatically kisses it and slides it back on his hand.

“You- You didn’t look in the pocket of your vest? Til just now? The vest you wear practically every single day?” You’re in disbelief he didn’t look there sooner. The only reason you didn’t is because you assumed he did.

“Ha uh, no. I guess I didn’t.” His voice drops a few octaves as he gets a little embarrassed at the mess he’s made looking for his ring, when it was in a very obvious spot. You pinch the bridge of your nose and let out a small huff and close your eyes.

“Is he still your dearest, love of your life.” Wayne mocks and chuckles behind you guys and Eddie grins at that. You also can’t help but break and laugh as well and look back up at Eddie. Your dearest, love of your life, Eddie.

“Yeah. He is.” You widen your smile and he sends you a wink. “Okay hot shot, we gotta go. Do you one hundred percent have everything?” You say as you head over to the door to start doing up your black converse.

“Yes, wallet.” He slaps his back pocket. “Rings.” Holds both his hands up to show you. “Keys.” He reaches up over you and grabs his keys from the holder on the wall. “My sweetheart.” he pinches your chin and plants a kiss on your lips. You smile into it and kiss him back.

“Weird, I don’t see your guitar strapped to your back, you sure you got your sweetheart?” You smirk at him and he pulls away and gives your cheek a little pinch.

“Smart ass.” He mumbles and you wink.

“Okay lovebirds get outta here or ‘yer gon’ miss ‘yer show.” Wayne grumbles from the couch as he takes another sip of his beer. You pull away from Eddie and give him a small shove.

“He’s right let’s go.” You turn. “Bye Wayne! Thanks again for the tickets!” He just gives you a small wave not looking away from the tv, but he’s got a small smile on his lips.

“Bye Wayne! Thanks again old man!” Eddie calls as he closes the door to the trailer behind you guys. As you round the van Eddie races in front of you and opens the passenger door for you. Kneels, and out stretches his arm to it he van. “M’lday.” He bows his head.

“Oh, you’re going to be an extra kiss ass now aren’t you?” You giggle and get in the van. Eddie rises back up and grins at you.

“Darlin’, you have no idea.” He closes the door and hops in the drivers side.

Let’s just say, after your drive to Indianapolis, Iron Maiden weren’t the only ones who rocked your world that night.

#stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x fem!reader fluff #eddie #is a diva #eddie munson blurb

[diacripticcomplex]

Ruki’s Pov:

I return back to the manor, printing out the photos then taping them onto the wall of photos I have of her in the secret room connected to my room. When I see her at school, she is always with the irritating Sakamaki brothers, and I remain stoic and cool, yet I do try to obtain her trust. Day by day I am getting closer and closer to bringing her here, once she sees this shrine I have dedicated to her, she'll never escape me. Plotting this for the past few months has been exhausting, admittedly but it will all be worth it when I get her in my clutches.

The next night, I noticed she was walking very slowly, she must be drained of her intoxicating blood, I "accidentally" bump into her. "Ah..Ruki..I'm so sorry." She apologized, that apology took all of her strength. "You're really okay with being reduced to livestock?" I asked her, sounding somewhat concerned in my tone, but this was all a part of my plan. "..I..I don't know how to answer that..'' she stammers around, unable to provide a solid answer. I place my hand on her cheek, cupping it gently. "If you come with me, I can guarantee you will not be reduced to that level.." I lied, of course. She still looked hesitant. "You know that I used to be a human right? I understand pain and suffering better than anyone, I wouldn't put you through that. " Another lie pours out my mouth. After a few more moments of convincing, I had her wrapped around finger and she came back to the manor with me. The plan was going along just right.

As soon as she came up, I offered her food or drink, as expected she said no and we went up to my room. Once we entered, there was no going back. I pushed her down onto the floor and locked the door, blocking off any chance of escape. “Ruki..??” She questioned, I chuckled slightly and opened the secret room with my shrine of her, she look mortified. “..these are all pictures of me..? And this doll- it looks just like me..” she quietly said to herself, shaking in fear. “Yes I’ve been admiring you for a long time” I tell her, coming closer to her but she backs away in fear, this offends me. “Ruki please ..this is scary” i laugh at this then pull her close to me, sliding my hand to her waist. “It’s not scary at all, I’ll show you proper loving, I’ll make you forget all the tainted misfortunate memories you’ve had with those Sakamaki turds.” I tell her, close to her ear. I pull her in for a deep kiss, her lips felt juicy she tried her best to suppress the pleasure she felt, I wasted no time and began touching her inappropriately. Sliding my hands under her clothing and cupping her breasts, I gently pressed deeply against her so so could feel how aroused I was getting.

I took her hand and placed it on my crotch. Using her hand to rub it, this won’t do. Her mouth would be better suited for this. I tugged down my pants a bit so that my part would plop out, she looked at me confused but I told her to get on her knees and relieve me, she hesitated at first but then she did, it felt sensational. This was Eve doing this to me, I can become Adam after all, I noticed her bopping her head up and down looking into my eyes, yes that face, I took out my phone and snapped a picture, I wanted this as a memory. I had to finally finish and I did, in her mouth but she did not swallow it she spit it out…

“That won’t do..lick it off the floor” I demanded. She looked disgusted. “Lick it off the floor or I’ll fuck you to death” I clarified, that must’ve triggered something in her because she did it, how disgusting, I laughed at this. This was just the beginning of all the things I was going to do to her body, she’s never escaping me.

#diabolik lovers #diabolik boys #dialovers #yui komori #diabolik brothers #diahell #yui x ruki #ruki mukami #smut diabolik lovers #smut fiction #manga and anime #diabolik lovers community

[aroeddiediaz]

20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @cal-daisies-and-briars , @jesuiscenseedormir , @diazsdimples

How many works do you have on ao3?

27!

What's your total ao3 word count?

61,537

What fandoms do you write for?

Currently I’m pretty much exclusively a 9-1-1 writer, but in the past I wrote a lot of Flarrowverse (do they still call it that?). I also have published fics for Fantastic Beasts and a few anime (Given, Haikyuu, Saiki K). Given the number of Bnha wips i have locked away in the vault it’s amazing I don’t have anything published for that.

Top 5 fics by kudos:

(I am omitting all the Flarrowverse fics in my top 5 on the basis that they were written in high school and I’ve changed as a person, and they probably only beat out on the numbers due to being up for years longer)

1. Kabe-Do’s and Kabe-Don’ts (Given, 861 kudos)

2. You’re Not Special (Saiki K, 598 kudos)

3. How Eddie Learned To Stop Worrying And Embrace The Kitten Life (9-1-1, 327 kudos)

4. The Boy Formerly Known As Miracle (Haikyuu, 277 kudos)

5. Under The Hood (9-1-1, 275 kudos)

Do you respond to comments?

Yes!! As many as I can!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

This probably has to be The Crimes of Queenie Goldstein, in which Queenie is put on trial for her actions during the war. Don’t @ me but Queenie turning traitor was bu far the most interesting part of the Crimes of Grindelwald (the only interesting thing, really). There could be such an interesting story between her and Tina if only JKR would let the movies out of her grasp.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Fuck, idk if I have a happiest ending fic, a lot of them tend to not have that much story arc. (A lot of established relationship fluff or smut lmao). I guess if I had to pick one it would probably be How Eddie Learned To Stop Worrying and Embrace The Kitten Life.

Do you get hate on fics?

Not since that one anti-olicity fic that I wrote while deep in the trenches of Flarrowverse discourse, which I totally deserved :/. I have regrets. Also I should probably orphan/delete that one if I haven’t already. In my defense, high school. I have learned.

Do you write smut?

Yea lol. I think my 9-1-1 stuff has been almost exclusively smut. Idk how it happened. (I do know how it happened smut is fun to write)

Craziest crossover?

I haven’t published any of my crossover fics :( none of them have been complete enough. I have many many unfinished RotBTD wips that have never seen the light of day though.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Who would steal my stuff? Lol

Have you ever had a fic translated?

One time someone offered to translate one of my fics into Russian but idk if that ever actually happened.

Have you co-written a fic before?

Nope

All time favorite ship?

Right now definitely Buddie! Percabeth holds a special place in my heart though <3

What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Ok. After the end of the Heroes of Olympus Series, but before Trials of Apollo was announced, I tried my own hand at writing the sequel that was clearly coming based on all the loose threads in the final book. It was going to be a Solangelo quest to save the Oracle of Delphi from Python, while Akhys tries to poison Percy to turn him into an evil god(?). Half the details have been lost and I desperately want to remember them, because I haven’t attempted anything nearly as cool or ambitious since then. The first 5 chapters are posted on my ao3 (Will Solace and the Oracle’s Cry) and I still think high school me had the most interesting characterization of Will out of everyone else on the internet at the time. Even if it is still very 2015.

What are your writing strengths?

I think I’m good at getting into the heads of different characters. Understanding their motives and weaknesses.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Editing.

Lmao I have a lot of weaknesses but I definitely struggle the most with trying to look back on or change things I’ve already written, even when it’s necessary.

Also my tendency to just drop fics if I stop working on them for too long. Rip to my wip graveyard.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

That’s a minefield I’m not willing to play in. Unless it’s Chinese. Very limited amounts of Chinese. Or like, a pet name or phrase that’s already ubiquitous in fandom so I’m not risking anything.

First fandom you wrote in?

Percy Jackson!! That Will Solace quest is the first thing I ever wrote! I definitely had a tendency to jump into the deep end with new hobbies lmao. Like my first ever cosplay that took me 3 years to complete.

Favorite fic you've written?

I think my favorite fic is always going to be the one I’m currently working on writing. But I am very proud of the silly little dramatic ironies in In Hindsight, which I wrote entirely over one long lunch the day after 7x04 broke me. Also I have to shoutout Teacher’s Pet, that one ruler spanking fic nobody ever reads because it’s Eddie/Ana lmao. I enjoyed putting in a bunch of tiny incompatibilities between them. So, uh, I guess my favorite thing in my own writing is dramatic irony?

Tagging: @aspecbuddie @pirrusstuff @jesuisici33 @steadfastsaturnsrings @lemonzestywrites @your-catfish-friend @inkmortal-trash389 @evanbegins s @wildlife4life @eddiebabygirldiaz @epicbuddieficrecs @kitteneddiediaz @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @coatedpanda16 @nicotinewrites @estheticpotaeto @babytrapperdiaz @snowviolettwhite @wikiangela

#artemis writing

[erotetica]

‘the old guard’ is the name of a lil queer opera company tho.

They do Shakespeare in the park-type stuff. Nicky is a basso profondo & baritone Yusuf is marked down as annoyed and horny. The Plot is that Andy is a dramatic contralto & she takes the male/butch leads in drag, opposite quynh’s soprano (iirc contralto is the deepest register for women on a scale similar to the male tenor. whom also iirc usually get leading-man roles. Anyway it’s SUPER fascinating 2 me 2 swap them.) When quynh leaves, booker, a high tenor, does her bits in drag. There’s not as much vocal contrast between Booker and Andy tho, so after some faffing he goes back to his usual, supporting female roles, & enter Nile as prima donna soprano. Coolgirl career prima donna at Big Opera Houses, joining the guard to do queer shit. I think she’s a coloratura/whereas quynh was more of a Wagnerian soprano, & she fills the void quynh left with her own, brighter vocal style (themes & metaphors etc)

#tog #Lisa Gerard Andy. yk. #anyway I’ve never been more fond of a booker than I am femme tenor booker. #may be stupid abt music but I know 4 things. and I‘ll opine on them gotdamnit #I just want drag opera man. I just want it so fucking bad. I want a cool butch to ape placido domingo’s whole scene #o also Yusuf does playwright shit #original work and also he OBVIOUSLY adapts twelfth night 4 opera. #trans ass play #booker: can we do les mis. can we PLEASE do les mis #(they don’t) #(no yes they do but only when quynh comes back. doing a WRETCHED chest-voice jean valjean & it’s a performance no one shuts up about 4 years #meanwhile yusuf is like can we PLEASE do opera buffa and Andy is like no. i cannot. #I have to keep excising my divorce demons playing Canio. #Nicky who has played tonio seven fucking times: *sad wojack meme* #found another fandom to be weird abt pagliacci in. good job. #ALSO The Old Guard Presents: Thirteenth Night is Yusuf repurposing all the trilling from magic flute for Nile to go ham on #nicky is obviously a Tosca bitch. also. ok bye #he obviously learns to pole dance to do the liturgy Properly ok NOW bye

[mazojo]

Carlos really carrying season 3 all by himself his back must hurt so badly

#You know what I think I like about him? He is consistent. Carlos takes no crap from Disney and has been a king from season 1 till 3 #Not like othERS *looks pointedly at like literally the entire cast #HE REALLY SAID BITCHSLAPS ON DISNEY THATS MY KING HAJAJAJJAJA #THat and the comment last ep of ah yes. Me. The known womanizer. JAJAJAJJAJAJA I LOVE HIM #Also the ouch. My face. I’ve been slapped lmaooo #HE is the entire show give him a crown #gonna ramble here for a sec don’t mind me I’ll shut up after this #Damn disney since season 2 has made it it’s absolute goal to make Ashlyn the most UNLIKEABKE ever I can’t stand her #She was one of my favorites in season 1 and now she is just kinda mean and annoying dude #Also can disney stop doing the whole jealousy plot line I am so tired…. So tired….. #Absolutely ALL the ships on this series have gone through it like pleaaaaase come up with #something else jealousy was fun like for two secs and now it’s just annoying #I love rambling about the serie because it makes me become the biggest bitch ever JAJAJJAJA I hate it but I love it but I hate it #I also love how we forgot about Nini completely like lmao Nini who?? Never heard of that one chief #Once again fuck Corbin bleu and I said that shit for ruining EJ and Gina’s perfect summer 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 very cool #(Corbin the character btw irl Corbin slaps SKKSKSK) #Also I fucking love how bad this show is written were there’s no show they just tell. #Literally. The one girl went on a 2 min expose trip telling us all her backstory damn #hsmtmts #Carlos

[iinmysights]

my arm hurty and my nose pressy but almost $2k later my tattoo is finished teehee :3

#Ravage.txt #dl #i’ve been wanting this specific one for a good 3-4 years now so it’s bizarre to me that it’s. done. it’s all finished. i have it now #cant wait for the saniderm to come off i hope the yellow looks good on my skin tone 🙏🙏 highkey bled a lot right below my collarbone (and #that’s just what i noticed when i wasn’t reading fanfic) so it was really hard to see how the bit of color looked with the ever-present #ketchup and mustard (ink smear) combo. fingers fucking crossed it looks good bc that was three hours and i approved the bottle lmao #in my defense it looked good!!! great even!!! god i hope i don’t need to get it touched up/redone in the end ugh even more money #oh em gee this tag is so fitting when i typed ‘anyway’ #anyway bye i’m missing my favorite scene (blackout absolutely wrecking a base’s shit) #<- like yes i AM missing my favorite scene. granted it’s on purpose bc i’m going to bed i’m too tired to finish the movie but STILL #blowing a kiss to my action figure of blackout on my desk love u king one day i’ll get a copy so u can be in both modes at once #i haven’t even tried to transform him or megs bc i threw out the instructions for one on accident and lost the other </3 + they were expensy #af. and i like them in robot mode they’re so cool i’m so glad dad got me into collecting. i need r.otf a.rcee and 2007 b.arricade now frfr #i found them already but it’s like 30 or 40 bucks plus whatever shipping is and i both spent $500 on my tat today AND i’m saving for art #comms so like :/ blegh. BUT two weeks from now i may get a brief housesitting gig which will hopefully pay pretty well considering the labor #so who knows maybe i’ll get them! i love 2007 b.arricade honestly it’d be great to have him. and a.rcee is easily one of my favs as my #collection demonstrates (ULTIMATE fav is r.ipclaw). anyway night night my allergy med is working slightly so i’ll be able to actually sleep

[myfirstandlast]

IM FUFK OKGGGGGGG GOING TO SEE PINKPANTJERESSSSSS OHOHHHMYGOFFFF

#y’all don’t even understand i utterly failed to get tickets this semester #and after going thru every stage of grief getting twice tickets i was like it’s not worth it the show is gonna be 15 mins long #but i never took it out my calendar and i’ve been getting notifs about it coming up the last few days and i’ve literally been like shut up. #AND LITERALLY LAST NIGHT I WAS LIKE i need to just go ahead and delete it off my phone i’ll do it later #AND RHIS MORNING MY FRIEND DMS ME LIKE hey are u free tmrw night? #MY EYES GETTING WIDER AS THE MSG NOTIFS KEPT COMING IN LIKE NOOOOOO WAYYYYYY #and i think i’ve already posted abt my horoscope being freakishly on point often and today it was the helper will appear dramatically to #help you LIKE YES THIS WAS DRAMATIC TO ME #oh my god what the fuck am i gonna wear half my outfits consisted of my partner’s clothes #I OWN NOTHING COOL WHAT AM I GONNA FUCKING WEAR!!!!

[letstrywritingmaybe]

Anyone else following Never Let Me Go by lotus451 cause I am amazed. I’ve always said reading CoAi fics in Chinese hits different but man this one is just… I don’t even have words. I should really leave a comment at this point, but I’m afraid it’s going to end badly and I don’t deal with that well. Plus there are certain things that I just don’t enjoy reading, like I get why it has to be there but I’m not fond of it (basically any mention of the canon ship being a thing is an automatic no for me. I could care less. If they’re going to break up then I need to see it happen already, I don’t want to see them be cute together. Literally nothing makes me nope out quicker. Except for maybe first person pov in English. I’m really not fond of reading that in fics. I’ve been so spoiled in my main fandom that my standards are too high) But this author has written fics I’ve really enjoyed so I’m still continuing to silently read. Again bad habit I know, cause it’s fun to comment on every chapter and cheer the author on, but man I can’t. I’m already too invested as is, if I leave my long comments every chapter and it ends badly? I’m going to lose my shit and maybe swear off fics forever. I can’t deal with it. I hate bad endings, they hold no value to me and will never make me think oh yes this is how it’s done. The fics that stay with me and I think of as masterpieces are the ones that give my ship the happily ever they deserve. Few exceptions cause I do have favorite authors I would read just about anything for, but there’s currently not one for this fandom that is active. My favorite fics will always be the ones that end happily even if they’ve been through some bullshit. But again I read fics for comfort and for stuff that canon won’t give me. If I wanted to be sad and angry then I would just follow canon cause that’s a bunch of bullshit at this point. Just end the series. Stop dragging it on and making everyone suffer.

Anyways, still all about self indulgent writing and the author being the one to make their choices for their story. I just don’t have to like it and that’s fine as long as I’m not being an ass and commenting unsolicited thoughts to them. People who do that suck and for real need to get a new hobby. It’s not hard to just shut up and press the x to close the tap. Go rant about it with your friends or ramble like I do on my blog that no one reads. But don’t be an asshole to the author. Just don’t.

#cynply rambling #I really do enjoy seeing more fics pop up in our tag #I don’t always vibe with them but hey it’s just not meant for me and that’s totally fine! #they do make me think about how I would make the verse though #most of the time it’s I wouldn’t cause I don’t like those things #but sometimes I’m like oh but what if it went this way? to something I prefer #I’ve been thinking about more risqué fic ideas lately but I think it’s cause the fake dating one is dicey #and also the rated ones are hit or miss with me #like yes I’m happy to see it cause we need more smut for this ship cause they’re definitely sexually compatible #I say this as a person who identifies as ace #but also because I’m ace I’m like um yeah no. that’s too much for me #and I know I shouldn’t be saying shit cause I’m guilty of this too but man the ooc annoys the fuck out of me #but again I’m forever a hater and refuse to believe he’s cool #canon tries to sell me on that too much and I’m just rolling my eyes and saying next #and on that note it’s time to sleep and continue planning my stories in my mind that I won’t write #if I wrote down every fic I play out in my head I would have thousands of fics posted #cause I go through a new verse every few days sometimes weeks if it’s a longer idea with sequels and such

[fandoms-bandoms-andmentalissues]

I don’t draw. I want to preface this post with that fact: I don’t draw, I’m trying to learn, trying to practice, because it’s such a cool thing, but I’m a writer at heart and with the state of me right now I’m barely even able to do that, let alone focus on a new skill. Another important fact to know about me is that I don’t use tags very often, I’m so grateful they’re a feature and I use them sometimes, but I tend to spam reblog things (as my mutuals can attest to) and that means I don’t use the tags as much as I could.

However. As October draws around and there are so many incredible inktober/hermittober/tohtober/something-tobers around ANY TIME I see a piece of art for one of these (and I follow A BUNCH of artists) artsy October challenges I make SURE I reblog it with all of my admiration and appreciation and comments and the small things I notice in the tags, because I’m a writer slowly learning to draw and while I am in no way ready to do one of these myself, I can at least express my sheer awe of the people who can, and I know I’m far from the only person seeing these pieces of art, but if the artists see the comments I leave and maybe it makes them smile, maybe it makes them laugh, maybe it makes them feel more confident, or maybe I’m just another note that makes them feel good, then it’s so unimaginably worth it

#artists man they’re just so fucking cool #love all of y’all so much because what you do is so incredible to me #so yeah when you reblog art spam reblog it and tell them all your thoughts in the notes end message send post #yes this applies to artists who aren’t doing tober challenges for whatever reason y’all are super super cool too #and I’m going to force this into a habit to say something genuine bout each piece of art I see when I reblog it! #if you’re one of the artists I follow and you’re seeing this well now you know the reason why I’ve been so annoying in your tags recently-

[ariaste]

The Magic Trick You Didn’t See: Being An Analysis of Good Omens Season 2

(or: Neil Gaiman, Your Brain is Gorgeous But I Have Cracked Your Sneaky Little Code And Have You Dead To Rights*) (*Maybe)

***

Soooooo I just spent the last 48 hours having a BREATHTAKING GALAXY BRAIN EPIPHANY about Good Omens Season 2 and feverishly writing a fuckin16,000 word essay about the incredible magic trick that @neil-gaiman pulled off. 

Yes, it’s long, but I PROMISE your brains will explode. Do you want to know how magic works? Do you want to know what Metatron’s deal is (I’m like 99% sure of this and it’s EXTREMELY FUCKING GOOD)? Do you want to know about the Mystery of the Vanishing Eccles Cakes and the big fat beautiful clue I found in the opening credits? Do you go through the whole inventory of Chekov’s Firearm & Heavy Artillery Discount Warehouse? 

Here is the essay, go read it: https://docs.google.com/document/d/193IXS11XN46lziHRb6eUpM17yK0BQkRqke1Wh64A_e0/ When ur done u can tell me I’m an insane crackpot, and u know what, i won’t even be offended

In case you don’t know whether you want to bother reading the whole enormous thing on google docs, I’ve put the first couple sections of it under the cut. JUST TRUST ME OKAY, HEAR ME OUT, THIS IS VERY EXTREMELY COOL, NEIL IS GOOD AT HIS JOB--

Proem

A dark theater. The rustling of the audience: clothes, breathing, whispers of anticipation. The lights come up. A man enters, stage left. He is a magician—a master magician—and he performs for you a magic trick so good and so subtle... that you don’t even notice you’ve seen it. 

You know there must have been a trick—after all, you came to the theater to see a trick performed, didn’t you? And he claims to be a magician. So there had to be a trick somewhere. There had to be.

But maybe there wasn’t. Maybe there was just a man on a stage, talking to you, telling you a story with a strangely unsatisfying ending you didn’t quite understand. 

I know. This is a weird beginning to an analysis essay. But hear me out, because I have to explain the mechanisms of the stage before I can show you what the trick was, where the trapdoor was hidden, and how Neil Gaiman pulled the whole thing off so gently and elegantly that you didn’t notice a thing. Ready? Here we go.

The Facts As We Know Them

Let us begin by establishing a baseline—some fundamental, logical assumptions that underpin the magic trick. These will seem obvious as soon as I say them, which is precisely the point: They are self-evident, loadbearing foundations for my entire argument, and if I don’t point them out, I’m going to sound like a crackpot conspiracy theorist. (Which! To be fair, I might be. I could easily be wrong about all this—but I don’t think I am.)

Our baseline, loadbearing assumptions that preface my Grand Unified Theory of Season 2: 

1. Neil Gaiman is extremely good at his job.

2. Neil Gaiman loves these characters and wants with all his heart to do them justice; likewise, he has a great deal of respect, love, and admiration for Terry Pratchett and is striving VERY HARD to write the show the way Terry would have been happy with.

3. The devil, as they say, is in the details: Neil Gaiman and the entire Good Omens cast/crew are fully capable of doing extremely subtle detail work, as conclusively proven in Season 1 Ep 6, specifically the whole sequence of the body-swap scenes.

With me so far? Great.

The Elephant In The Room

Season 2 was... odd. It was odd, wasn’t it. This isn’t a matter of whether you loved it or hated it—there was just something odd going on.

I spent the entirety of my first viewing very much enjoying myself and being very happy to be back with these characters and this world, but I was also liveblogging to my groupchat as I went, and a theme soon began emerging:

“Neil, what are you doing? Where are you going with this?” “What in god’s name is going on here? I’m so lost lmao.” “What is going on with the music situation?” “WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE NEIL” “zombies, ok, I trust u to pull this all together in the end, Neil, but I still don't know what you're up to” “What is going on LOL” “Incredibly what is going on here” “NEIL! WHAT IS HAPPENING!” “Literally what is happening” “Neil Gaiman why have you constructed a regency au for mystery VIBES reasons” “just????????? lesbians????????? dancing what's HAPPENING. just all the background characters are gay here ok sure sure sure NEIL GAIMAN WHAT IS HAPPENING--” “mmmmmmm neil what u doin”

All these are copied verbatim from my liveblogging, and apparently I am not the only one to have this reaction. And to be clear, I was having a good time! I came out to this theater to see a magic trick, and this Neil Gaiman guy on stage is a master magician—but I didn’t see the trick, even though there must have been a trick. 

At first, I wasn’t sure how I felt about the season. I wanted to like it! Indeed, there were many things that I liked about it! But I felt a bit muddled and jumbled up and confused—I felt like there was something I didn’t understand about it, and so I couldn’t yet understand how I felt about it either.

I started chewing on this question in a friend’s DMs: Why is season 2 so fucking odd? What is going on here, Neil? What are you up to? The matter of whether he was up to something was never in question. I knew that he had to be up to something. Writers are always up to something, and as I watched season 2, it was as if I was watching Neil scamper around the room with a mischievous expression as he messed with things here and there and made little tweaks and adjustments to the arrangement of all the Chekov’s guns he’s stockpiling on the mantelpiece. 

You see, Season 2 has some very bad writing in it. HANG ON, DON’T ARGUE WITH ME YET! THIS IS NOT A JUDGMENT CALL!! This is the rug that the trick’s secret mechanism is hidden under!!! This is the hidden mirror that makes the trick work!!!!! This is the trapdoor in the stage!

Yes, of course I will explain myself.

Neil Gaiman is a master magician, but I am a pretty damn good magician myself—I’m a professional fantasy author who has published nine books, and I teach workshops for apprentice writers online and at universities—and if there is one thing I have learned about the process of achieving mastery of your craft, it is this: 

Regardless of what medium they’re working in, the apprentice artist is concerned primarily with achieving realism via an expansion of their control—control of their brush strokes as they paint a photorealistic eye; control of their deck of cards, the mechanisms of their magic tricks, and where the audience’s attention is being directed; control of all the little factors of voice, plot, character, setting, suspense and surprise that go into writing a good story. However, the master artist has achieved that control—so much so that it often looks effortless to an untrained eye—and sometimes the master artist returns to a messy, amateurish style simply because they have control even over this too. 

As an example, consider Picasso and his entire body of work. He begins as an apprentice focused on achieving control, doing portraits of people that look like people—like what we expect a portrait of a person to look like. Then, as he grows in skill and gradually achieves mastery, he pulls away from realism. He develops a style, he experiments with faces that don’t look like any human alive  colored in ways that do not appear in nature. He expands his control. His work becomes abstract. Towards the end of his life, he starts experimenting with what’s called “Naive art”, something that a 5 year old could theoretically draw... but you have to achieve mastery before you can do it on purpose and have it look good. 

On one hand, Neil Gaiman is extremely good at his job. On the other hand, Season 2 has bad writing in it.

What does that tell us?

Well, we know from our Baseline Assumptions that Neil Gaiman is simply too good of a writer to fuck up through garden-variety clumsiness and lack-of-control the way an apprentice writer would. Additionally, he cannot fuck up by accident in this case because I am positive that the man is scrutinizing his work on Good Omens far too closely to let anything slide—for Crowley and Aziraphale’s sakes, for David and Michael’s sakes, and especially for Terry’s sake. The stakes are sky-high, and he cares too much to write a weird, kind of “bad” season by accident.

Which leaves only one option: He did it on purpose.

(Am I sounding like a crackpot conspiracy theorist? Baby, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet. I’m gonna get SO MUCH MORE CRACKPOT.)

If he did it on purpose, then the natural question to ask is: WHY!?!?!??

It’s a great question. Not “Why?” in terms of why he as an individual person with emotions would decide to do that, mind you. More like, “What purpose does this serve for the structure of the narrative?” There is a story he is intending to tell, and out of all the choices he could have possibly made, for some reason this one was necessary and correct in order to achieve that end goal—so what was that reason?

See? Intentionality. He knows exactly what details he left in, and he did it on purpose. (Editing! It’s important!)

So there has to be a reason. It’s like when a master magician “casually” rubs an itch on his nose—why did he do that? What is he sneakily slipping into his mouth by hiding it under the excuse of this little gesture that does not even register to you as meaningful? (If you haven’t watched enough stage magic to know what I mean, watch this.)

This question is, of course, impossible to simply answer out of thin air without any further evidence. It is a dead end—so we must adjust the question and come at it from a different angle.

The one I settled on when I was chewing on this was: Well, okay, what do I mean when I say “bad writing”? What is it about S2 that makes it feel so goddamn odd?

The Pledge, The Turn, and... The Conspicuous, Expectant Silence

There are three parts to a magic trick: Pledge, Turn, Prestige. 

First, the Pledge: You show the audience something ordinary. Second, the Turn: You make that ordinary thing do something extraordinary, like vanish. Third, the Prestige: You bring the ordinary thing back.

To quote the 2006 film The Prestige just after its explanation of the first two parts: “You want to be fooled. But you wouldn’t clap yet, because making something disappear isn’t enough. You have to bring it back.”

You have to bring it back.

When I teach apprentice writers, I call this a “setup-payoff cycle”. Achieving control and dexterity with this tool is crucial, because the setup-payoff cycle is the engine of the story—it’s what makes the story run. You can have a setup-payoff cycle at any scale—I have read ones that were a single sentence long; I’ve read ones that were two books long. Additionally, all jokes, no matter how long they are, are structured on a setup/payoff cycle. These cycles work precisely the same way a magic trick does:

You set up the audience’s expectations. (Optional but generally considered stylish and elegant: You give those expectations a firm jolt to throw the audience off-balance.) You pay off the audience’s expectations in a way they weren’t expecting, while saying “TA DA!!!!” really loud with your arms flung wide.

Audiences really like this. A setup-payoff cycle executed just right makes the audience’s brains light up like Times Square and hammers on their mental “reward” buttons like nothing else. It’s like you’ve personally handed them a cookie and a gold star. They go wild for this.

Here’s an example of a setup-payoff cycle, though it’s not a perfect one—and you’ve probably heard it before, so you’re not going to be throwing chairs and tearing down the theater from sheer glee:

The Setup: Knock knock. Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? The Jolt: (the joke starts over and repeats several times without reaching the payoff (aka the prestige) while the audience grows more and more annoyed and frustrated about the unfulfilled expectations, until finally...) Knock knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? The Payoff: ORANGE YOU GLAD I DIDN’T SAY BANANA?

Good Omens Season 2 feels so fucking odd because the setup-payoff cycles are incomplete—nearly all of them are, and the ones that do close the loop do so in really weird ways which, as a professional author, make me feel kind of, “Bwuh?????? But where’s my cookie? Excuse me??? Sir???? Neil????? My cookie, tho???”

When I realized this, when I finally put my finger on why the whole season was giving me some uncanny valley heebie-jeebies, a chill ran down my spine. (The rest is here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/193IXS11XN46lziHRb6eUpM17yK0BQkRqke1Wh64A_e0/ I’M GOING TO GO STARE INTO THE ABYSS NOW BYE)

#good omens #good omens season 2 #ineffable husbands #neil gaiman

[deadsetobsessions]

Sea Cryptic! Danny AU- Pt.4

[Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.3][Pt.5][Pt.6][Pt.7]

Danny was sitting in the back, his backpack obnoxiously taking up the seat next to him, when the door to the lecture hall creaked open near silently.

“What are you in here for?” Danny asked the guy who crept into class. He sympathetically took his backpack off the Seat of Shame and allowed the guy to sit down. Funnily enough, they had the same hair and eye color.

“Gen Ed. Undecided. You?” The guy grunted quietly back.

“Environmental studies. I’m Danny.”

“Tim.”

With the implicit understanding of two people in a required class they could not give less than two fucks about, Tim and Danny tuned back into the lecture. When the class was assigned group work, Danny looked over to see Tim softly snoring, head slammed down on the table.

“Tim. Wake up, dude.” Danny poked his shoulder.

“Huh? Class over?”

“Nah, we got group work. Discussion board.”

“Oh shit, thanks for waking me up. Wanna team up?”

Danny shrugged. “Sure. We should aim to post it in the middle so the professor doesn’t read our answers to the class.”

“Yeah, sounds like a good idea. Any idea what we’re talking about?”

“Kind of?”

“Good enough for me.”

——

Tim Drake kept seeing Danny Fenton around on campus.

“Danny! Dude, what are you doing?”

Danny turned, gloved hands full of crumpled trash. “Picking up after the student population, apparently.”

“Didn’t think environmental studies was that serious.”

“Global warming is very serious, you jerk,” Danny smirked at him, crossing the grass to put the trash into the trash can. “Reduce, reuse, oil shouldn’t be spilled in water and all that.”

“Basic stuff,” Tim grinned. Nice, he basically had a friend past Bernard now!

They were friends, right?

“And yet humanity fails to comprehend it. Incredible. Incredibly stupid that is.”

“They get it. Major corporations just don’t care.”

Danny sighed. “True that. You on your way to your next class?” He took off his biodegradable gloves off (nitrile and nylon, baby!) and chucked them into the trash.

“I’ve got free time, actually. Prof cancelled for his daughter’s surgery.”

“Oh, shit, that’s rough! You wanna go downtown and join the strike?”

“A strike? What for?” Even as he asked, Tim hiked his bag higher onto his shoulder, ready to go. They fell into step as the two left campus.

“Apparently, Quillan Pharma was doing some shady shit at their manufacturing plants. I think it’s like killing kids, and pouring toxins into the ground.”

“Oh, shit.”

“Yeah. Oh! Poison Ivy’s gonna be there!”

Tim blinked. He casted a sideways look at Danny. Sure he’s been here long enough to know… but it couldn’t hurt to check. “You know she’s an eco-terrorist, right?”

“Okay, but like… people suck sometimes. And all she’s asking for is like don’t kill the planet. And she doesn’t do that whole mind control thing too much anymore! The Sirens are so cool. Plus, one of my best friends at home might actually kill me if I don’t try to get her autograph. Poison Ivy is like, Sam’s personal hero.”

Tim snickered. “Yeah, okay. Mind if one of my friends join? His name’s Bernard.”

“The more the merrier,” Danny nodded. “Ooo! Hot chocolate. Want some?”

Danny bought three drinks as Tim trailed behind, texting Bernard.

“He said yes.”

“Cool! We should meet up somewhere before the drinks get cold.”

Well, Danny got the autograph. Tim got a new friend, and Bernard got a drink from his crush.

——

“Oh, you’re the glowing dude that Batman always talks about!”

Danny blinked, eyes scanning the wing-like cape and the yellow emblem on the hero’s suit. Danny was indeed glowing, stars and nebulas freckling across neon green skin, and glowing hair the color of a white dwarf star, tinged with the blue from his ice core.

“I… have absolutely no idea who you are,” Danny lied, like a liar. He’s found a surprising niche of entertainment in messing with the local vigilantes and he’ll be damned if he missed this opportunity.

He heard a snicker from the comm lines as Red Robin visibly brushes it off.

“I’m Red Robin. Why are you picking up trash?”

“Picking up after you humans, apparently.”

The both of them blink, feeling a weird sense of déjà vu. A moment of awkward silence passed before they both shook it off.

“Are you here to help? No offense, but the track record for you people is terrible.” Danny strode over and grabbed a bag. He opened it, and shook it at Red Robin’s face. “See? Batarangs, these odd bird looking ones, the R’s. Seriously, pick up after yourselves!”

“Oh, woah, can we have these back?”

Danny yanked the bag back before Red Robin could get close. “Pay me. These were incredibly tedious to pick up. Especially the batarangs. I mean, I even found a whole bunch of old rusted ones in the middle of the bay. What did you do, dump an entire bag in there from the air?”

Red Robin sighed and took out a wad of cash, with tracking fluid all over it. Danny grimaced, smelling the odd scent on the money. “That’s not real cash. It smells off. Are you trying to give me counterfeits because you’re broke?”

Red Robin gaped, oddly offended. “No! They’re real!”

“Doesn’t smell like it. It’s stinkier than the trash. Go get the one with the money, the litterer. Tell him I’ll be back the next full moon. I don’t want to talk to you anymore.” Danny grumbled, disappearing on the spot to watch Red Robin flounder with the stack of cash and the piles of dead bodies on the shore.

“What the fuck even is my life these days?” Red Robin wondered out loud, stuffing the cash back into his pocket. He looked over the plastic wrapped bodies and slumped, sighing.

Oddly enough, Danny felt a sense of sympathy. Well, he’s not getting paid for sympathy. He’s not getting paid at all tonight, actually. Danny flew off, plunging once more into the depths of the significantly cleaner waters, and used his ice to scoop out oil stains.

Danny glanced around and sighed. He had a lot of work to do.

——

“So you’re saying he’s like a werewolf mermaid fae child immortal god thing, right?”

Bruce grunted.

“B, what the hell are you smoking these days? You know drugs are bad, right? Do we need Superman to give you that PSA?” Jason snickered.

Tim, massaging his arms from having to haul an ungodly amount of dead bodies, grunted. He’s so similar to Bruce that it gave the people currently in the cave hives.

“He said full moon. I don’t think we can track him with regular stuff. The bugs kept shorting out.”

“Oh boy,” Dick sighed. “Don’t fall off the spiral cliff, Tim. You’ve got midterms to think about so no stalking the guy.”

“Yet,” Tim shot back, changing out of his suit.

Bruce grunted, setting aside a huge stack of cash.

#let Tim Drake go to college you cowards #he got his GED in this one boys #let Tim fucking age #danny phantom #batman #tim drake #dc x dp #dcxdp #dpxdc #danny the tired college student #bamf danny phantom #siren au??? #sea cryptic Danny #bro I had war flashbacks to discussion board group work #terrible why do I do this to myself #the batarangs in the middle of the bay was from when Bruce tried to kill the joker and himself #Danny: people just can’t clean up after themselves these days #sea cryptic! danny au

[dontmindme2600]

God Yoshihiro Togashi’s work always fucking KILLS IT (I’ve only read/watched YuYu Hakusho and Hunter x Hunter but I’m already convinced he’s a genius)

#man actually has like a good worldview too #usually every time I find a manga artist I really admire #I find out their a raging bigot before I even get to check out their other work #BUT ITS THE OPPOSITE SCENARIO HERE BAYBEEEE #literally hxh volumes take up like a HUGE portion on my shelf #this man is one of my biggest inspirations when it comes to storytelling I’m not joking #excuse my gushing but DAMN #my passion for both hxh and yyh has stayed at exactly the same level that it was in during middle school #and middle school me was INTENSE #the only reason I don’t talk about hxh more on here is because there’s just too much for me to cover #opinion #anyways I’m rambling because I finally got my hands #on a physical copy of the first yyh manga volume #the authors notes are hilarious help #will finding any volume past 1 be actually impossible? yes. #but I at least want to get a copy with Kurama in it for middle school me #preferably his introduction or that one really cool part where they’re in some strange #like surreal building and he does a bunch of math and Japanese language shit to kick some guys ass #idk it’s been a while since I’ve watched that one specific episode ok but it was cool as FUCK #I just used the wrong ‘their’ like multiple times but please excuse me it’s like midnight rn #yyh #hxh

[harrylights]

do i buy myself pit tickets for louis’ show in my hometown for my birthday even tho none of my friends would go w me bc they’re cowards………

#extremely tempted #i’ve been to a couple concerts on my own already and tbh they were more fun than a lot of the other ones i’ve been to w ppl #bc i’m always way more excited than anyone else for some reason #like ???? we are having a once in a lifetime experience together yes i’m gonna lose my fucking cool and be happy about it ? #the main thing deterring me is knowing that ppl will be fucking camping out by the venue and like. i wanna be up close too yknow :( #anyways we’ll seeeee

[sooniebby]

Thinking…. (Bottom male reader). Feminization is the main kink. Lemme know if I should expand this into a full fic!

Playboy reader who’s known for sleeping with everyone and their mama (literally). You have a girlfriend or boyfriend every two weeks, dropping them like flies when you get bored.

But you end up finding your new target for the week, the student council president. Much to your shock, you didn’t have to ware him down at all. You asked him out once and he said yes.

So you’re excited. You mostly get girlfriends and while they’re cool, boyfriends are your favorite! They always act so shy when you ride them for the first time. The more inexperienced, the more fun.

So imagine your shock when you’re over at your new “boyfriend’s” house and he has you dressed in a girly dress with knee high socks. At first, you just push past it… you don’t judge…

Until when you try to take over after foreplay, doing your usually riding when he doesn’t even react…? You’re about damn near pissed off, your legs are aching, you’re embarrassed about this damn outfit.

Doesn’t help he starts fucking yawning?!?!

It’s not until you straight up tell him, “what the hell man?! If I’m boring you so damn much, then you take over!”

Though it hurts your pride to not be the dominate player. He took your words to heart because suddenly your pressed against his wall, balancing on one leg while he holds the other up and slams his cock deep into your slicked hole.

He’s harsh and unpredictable. Even after you cum, your body heaving, you notice he’s not even close to tired.

You find yourself ass up and face pressed against the bed as he takes you like a bitch. Your riding was nothing compared to this. His large hands grip your ass before a smack is delivered to it, causing you to squeal in shock.

“You’re so cute, (Name)-Chan…Make that sound again…”

Chan?! You don’t even get to ask what’s with all this feminization when he’s fucking you like a slut in heat. It takes longer than you thought possible for him to finally reach his first orgasm of the night (your fourth).

You’re collapsed against the bed, struggling to breathe when he manhandled you onto your back, legs pushed to your chest. He grins at you, his glasses foggy as he leans down.

“You’re going to enjoy being my slut, (Name)-Chan. I’ve been waiting to make you mine. I’m going to ruin you so bad you’ll only want my cock in this tight cunt of yours.”

huh…. Guess you were no longer the playboy of your school anymore.

Tag list: @flurrina @mello-life69 @chill-guy-but-cooler @rhetorical-conscience @iwishtobeacrow @kiiyoooo @remdayz @tomoeroi @the-ultimate-librarian @love-kha1 @ofclyde @smellwell @star-3214 @tehyunnie

#bottom male reader #x male reader #mlm ns/fw #smut drabble #smut ideas #uke male reader