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runenc03 · 5 years

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Minho (a seaycee oneshot)

Writing date: December 2018

Genre: fluff

Warnings: none, except for a lot of personal information lol. Basically this is a real life experience, although 'Minho' (who's actually a Newt irl) and I are now actual friends, but nothing else. I love him, but not in a romantical way. And that's okay, I'm happy this happened, because I can't imagine my life without him now :)

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It was around mid september when she first saw him. He was walking through one of the corridors of her school, head down, dark, healthy hair brushing his forehead. He was wearing a long coat, his hands deeply burried in their pockets. His jeans were ripped, but not too much, and his sneakers were a daring shade of red for a boy.

She felt herself immediately drawn to the mysterious boy. She didn't know him, had never seen him before, but there was just something about him that made her want to know more about him. Who was he? He must at least be a year older than her, they would have their breaks at the same time if he wasn't.

As soon as she realised that she was shamelessly staring at the boy, she quickly looked down at her feet, scolding herself silently for zoning out like that, and accelerated her steps, hurrying to her next class.

Still, she couldn't get the unknown boy out of her head, wracking her brain for someone he reminded her of.

He looks like Minho from the Maze Runner.

And in that moment, it just clicked. For her, his name was Minho.

****

"You see that boy there?"

The girl tried to whisper to her best friend when she saw 'Minho' again, feeling the need to share her thoughts with someone else.

"You mean the one with the long coat and the healthy hair?"

"Shh! He'll hear us if you don't talk a bit softer!"

Her best friend had the decency to look guilty.

"Well, yes, that one. Please tell me I'm not the only one who thinks he looks just like Minho. You know, from the Maze Runner."

Her best friend rolled her eyes at first, but soon had to agree with the girl.

"I know who Minho is, you idiot. And you're right, he does resemble him. But, wasn't Ki Hong Lee your celebrity crush? You should smile to the boy! See what he does! You have- Oh gosh he's looking at you!"

The girl's head shot up from her smaller best friend, whom she had been looking at earlier, since they were in a conversation. The shorter girl was right, he was looking at her.

The girl's brain seemed to stop working and everything around her slowed down. Not because it was love at first sight, no, it was far from that. She was simply paralyzed, not knowing what to do in a situation like this, having never experienced it before.

She couldn't stop looking however, her eyes seemed to be glued to his, even though there was about 13 feet of distance between them. It was only when she turned a corner and he dissappeared out of her eye sight that her brain seemed to function again.

"He was so staring at you!"

The girl's eyes went back to her friend, and her eyebrows curled itself in a critical manner. Even though she knew that her best friend was right, her brain's malfuntions seemed to make an appearance again, because it simply refused to believe what her eyes had clearly registered.

She told herself that he probably just looked at her best friend, not at her. She wasn't nearly as beautiful as her friend was, not having the same curves as her, not to mention that the smaller girl's hair was always on point, while her own was a mess, if not completely tangled, then probably dirty, even though she washed it non stop.

Who would ever look at her?

She sighed, tuned out all of her friend's squeals and fangirl-talk, and focussed herself on her next class. He was probably just staring into space, hadn't even noticed her. No need to get so riled up.

Little did she know that things like this would happen a lot more in the near future...

***

It was late october, and the girl was, as usual, walking though her school with her best friend, when the latter elbowed her in the side.

"He's looking at you again."

Instantly, she turned around, forgetting to be careful or subtle. He wasn't either, if she could believe her best friend's judgement.

The boy was indeed staring at her again. Their eyes locked, and just like every other time this happened, the girl didn't know what to do. It was simple, really. As soon as their eyes locked, her brain refused to work. Should she say something? Smile? Glare? She didn't know, wasn't used to these kind of situations.

Suddenly, a large group of rowdy teens blocked her view, and their eye contact was broken, as was the spell she seemed to be under whenever he looked her into the eyes.

He had deep brown ones

Did she just notice that?

A smile made its way on her face. She remembered something, which meant that she wasn't as shocked and frozen anymore when she looked at him like when she did for the first time.

She was making progress

***

"We should try to find out what Minho's real name is. Maybe Instagram or Facebook can help"

The girl was sitting in the canteen with her friend, and somehow, the conversation had turned to Minho again.

She liked to talk about him

Did she really just think that? She couldn't keep the blush from forming on her cheeks, completely embarrassed and horrified that she had thoughts like that.

Come to think of it, she really didn't know anything about him.

But did she want to?

She'd always thought that she wanted to know who he really was, but now that her friend proposed to actively search for him on social media, she wasn't so sure anymore. In all honestly, he had been more on her mind the last few weeks than was probably healthy, invading her rational thoughts and turning them into a fangirl-like mess. Always.

Did she really want to know the real Minho, who would undoubtedly not be as perfect as the one in her head? Was she really willing to give up that perfect image of him?

On the other hand, maybe his real self wasn't that far away from the perfect boy in her mind, and she could - then what, actually? What could she do? She knew she would never make a move, she was way too shy for that, not to mention that she still wasn't convinced that he really looked at her. It just seemed so surreal. What did he even see in her? Was he attracted to her? She couldn't imagine being attracted to someone like her, she was just so...plain. She didn't have the curves of a model, but wasn't a plus size either. Her hair was brown, but a plain, boring kind of brown, and too busy with a lot of other things, her clothes weren't the most fashionable either. She was rather comfortable in something less beautiful than having to worry about every little imperfection in her outfit. What did he see in her? Why did he keep staring at her, not one or two, but at least 15 times over the course of the last 8 weeks?

"Hello? Are you still there? Zoning out about Minho again? I just said that we should try to find out his name. How does that sound, miss Daydream?"

She felt the blush on her cheeks burn even harder, busying herself with her sandwich, instead of looking at her friend. Refusing to make eyecontact, she simply nodded.

"Alright, let's find out his name."

How could she not? Her curiosity would always win over her fear.

***

Sean.

That was Minho's real name.

The girl was at home this time, it was a Tuesday afternoon in early november, and she had seen Minho talk that morning to someone she vaguely knew the name of. She hadn't wasted any time when she came home, quickly throwing her bag on a chair and plumping down on the couch, looking on Facebook for the person's name and immediately clicking on the 'friends'-section. She had scrolled down on the seemingly endless list, looking at every profile picture, trying to catch a glimps of slightly longer dark hair or an athletic build.

Just when she hadn't been expecting it anymore, she'd come across a picture of a boy in sweatpants, hair disheveled, sweaty from sporting.

She felt a flutter inside her chest.

It was him.

And then her eyes shifted towards his name. Sean Lew.

She hadn't expected that name, but she didn't really know why. Had she subconciously expected something Asian? It shouldn't matter, she realised, but in reality, it did. She had been refering to the boy with the name Minho for so long, that it felt weird to think of him as anything else.

Why am I even thinking about that? His entire profile is one click away, for God's sake!

She couldn't contain her curiosity anymore, didn't even think about the doubts she had had a few weeks ago.

She clicked on his name.

She wished that she would've been able to call her best friend with the news that Sean was just like Minho, but that wasn't entirely true.

The second picture she came across, was one of him holding an empty bottle of liquor above his open mouth, showing his muscular arms, but also his immaturity.

It felt like her heart dropped a bit, suddenly feeling a lot heavier.

This is what she'd been so afraid of.

But she refused to let go of him completely, at least for now. Holding on to the last drop of hope that was still within her, praying that this picture was just an exception and he was actually a good guy with manners and maturity, she scrolled down his profile.

She honestly didn't know what to think of him. It almost seemed like he was 2 completely different people at once. There were the typical bad boy replies to girls who commented bold things under his pictures, but there were also posts where he talked about how much he loved his family, which honestly warmed her heart.

And she realised then and there, that she still had no clue who he really was.

***

It was still early in the morning. The young girl was waiting for her best friend, while also looking one last time through her notes for chemics, since it was her worst subject and she was in her exam -slightly-more-than-a-week.

She sighed. She would never get the hang of those oxidation state numbers.

Deciding that she'd seen enough of those, she looked up from her notes, only to see the back of a head that looked a lot like Minho's, but was only covered in very slight stubble.

Her breath hitched. It couldn't be him, could it?

But it was. He had turned a bit, walking in another direction than he had previously stood, and she could see his face now.

Definitely Sean.

But why? His hair was one of the most attractive things about him! Her friend had agreed with her, saying that it was the only attractive thing about him.

And that's where she had to disagree with her friend. It hadn't been a very long time since she had finally admitted to herself that she found him attractive. Like, really attractive. True, his hair had been his best facet - although his arms weren't far behind- but that didn't mean he wasn't attractive in general. In fact, she realised as she looked him walk away, unaware of her presence for once, she was still incredibly attracted to him.

But an almost bald Minho would still take a lot of getting used to.

***

She didn't get a lot of time for that, however. It was currently half past 2 in the afternoon, and she felt like she could breath again now her exam chemics was over. The girl was standing all alone outside of the toilets, waiting for a few of her friends to get out, deep in thoughts, until her attention was brought back to reality by the sudden feeling you get when someone else is watching you. She looked around, and at first, she only saw a shadow of someone walking upstairs to the first floor. When she squinted her eyes however, she saw that it was a boy with a long coat on and very, very short hair.

Sean.

She didn't recognise him at first, still not used to his short hair, but when she focussed on his face, all thoughts about the state of his hair went out of the window.

He was literally not even looking at the steps he took, his eyes glued to her, craning his neck to be able to watch her as long as possible.

She couldn't do anything, only stare back at him, like all the previous times. She felt so drawn to him, so interested in him, that she asked herself if she really didn't have a crush on the boy.

But you can't have a crush on someone who only stares at you, but never says a word to you, right?

And with a shock, she realised that she really couldn't deny it anymore: he looked at her, and only her. No-one was near her, not her beautiful best friend or some model-like popular girl, she was the only one in the whole corridor.

She couldn't hold back the smile that crept on her face, or the sudden surge of confidence that swept through her for the first time in forever...

***

It was almost one week later, the last Monday of this semester. The girl was walking towards her bus, earplugs in her ears, humming slightly to the music and already imagining different types of choreography to it. She was in a good mood, her last exam being tomorrow, English at that. She was almost at the place where she always waited for the bus with the other kids who took the same one, when she felt his eyes again. Properly looking around this time, she found him, and their eyes met again. He was standing only a few feet away from her, and she could see that his hair had already grown a little bit, now in a decent buzzcut, instead of the fuzz of a week ago. She studied his face for the umpteenth time in the last few months, not ashamed anymore since he never looked away from her either. His eyes seemed bigger with his short hair, jawline sharper. And his lips-

She had never thought about his lips before. Sure, she was attracted to him, but not to the point where she fantasised about kissing him, hence why she'd never thought about his lips. Yet his lips seemed the only thing she could focus on right now, and she had a very logical explanation for that.

He smiled at her.

Not just a tight, quick smile. Not a smirk either. His smile was a genuine, heartwarming smile.

And it was directed towards her.

Not being able to help herself, she smiled back at him, only for her to bury her face in her scarf a second later, scared that he would see her blushing cheeks. This was something new, something she wasn't used to yet.

Not that she would mind having to get used to him smiling at her like that.

She didn't know whether the drinking bad boy, or this smiling, seemingly awe struck, gentle boy was the real Sean, but for some reason, it didn't bother her anymore. Maybe her 18 year old self was laughing at her younger self while cuddling Sean, or maybe she had completely forgotten about him by then. It didn't matter. Right now, he made her feel something unexplainable. It wasn't really love, not even a crush actually, but it was definitely attraction, and even though the situation probably seemed like an incredibly boring one for the rest of the world, the fact that he looked at her, stared at her, smiled at her, made her feel powerful, feminine, and for the first time, confident in herself.

And for that alone, she was him incredibly thankful.

#seaycee #high school #the maze runner #tmr #minho #newt #dancers #dance #love #crush

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mensbodybuildingtips · 5 years

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THUNDER THIGHS! 10 Tips for Stimulating Thigh Growth

Big arms - everybody appears to have them these days. Bounce around the pinhead section for a few months, as well as you'll have a fairly impressive set of arms as well as triceps to bend in the club. Upper body is a bit more difficult - you have to actually place in some real work bench pushing. If you're doing it 3 times a week with your buddies, a good dimension chest will show up prior to also long. Legs, however, are a totally various beast! Allow's take a look at 10 tips for creating remarkably thick upper thighs.

Tip #1 - You gotta squat Unless you have a physician's note and also a painful memory of knee rehab adhering to surgical procedure, your butt has to be starting each workout each week below that squat rack. It may not be comfortable and you could be able to summon a loads reasons you must most likely forego the squats today. The reasons you OUGHT TO be squatting far surpass them. Squats build lean muscular tissue mass not only on the upper legs, but throughout the body. If you cannot grow, do not fear, because squats will MAKE you grow. Use them in the hefty array (7 to 12 repeatings per set) for a minimum of 4 collections as well as always use a watchman on the much heavier sets. Squat to expand, baby!

Tip #2 - Bump up the calories You can not construct brand-new muscle without acquiring new weight. Numerous people stay in a state of "perpetual rippedness" where they happily display their chopped as well as diced 6-pack, 365 days a year. They fear any type of motion on the range. Just what they don't recognize is that the scale has to go up if they intend to include brand-new weight to the body. Muscular tissue is really very hefty. Adding an inch to your quads implies you're going to add 5 to 10 pounds to what the range reads. Don't be afraid to include about 100 tidy and also lean calories to each meal, providing you about 100 brand-new calories each day, or 3500 each week, which is needed for one new pound of muscle mass growth!

Tip # 3 - Spend some time with the foo-foo exercises You may usually scoff at movements such as the leg adductors/abductors or leg expansions, seeing as they are seclusion movements whose machines are generally inhabited by the smallest of women in the fitness center. You're a large man, you should be doing large man workouts, right? Well, yes and also no. You ought to be beginning your front upper leg training with 30 to 45 mins of hefty brutal compound motions. Then, as your equilibrium and control discolor, you need to move right into the seclusion motions for a good 8 sets to truly saturate the thighs with blood. Throughout those last 5 to 8 collections of your upper leg workout, your balance will certainly start to fail as well as squatting at this factor can be risky. It is better to continue pushing the front upper legs to their failing factor with workouts that enable you to be sittinged. Keep in mind that Jay Cutler made use of to get amusing looks squeezing into the adductor machine - however no one took a look at him amusing when he lugged residence a lot of trophies as well as huge reward checks! Make use of the heavy substances, after that isolate to round off your quads!

Tip #4 - Stretch Most workout routines will provide you in-depth explanations of the sets, reps, and also works out to utilize, but never if when you must be participating in extending of the muscle team being trained that day. Extending is EXTREMELY vital for the legs in order to assist protect against injury, to the knees in specific. Invest simply a few minutes stretching your quads, hamstrings and also calf bones BEFORE your workout. Afterward, nonetheless, it is a completely different tale. Following your exercise, you need to get on the floor for a solid ten minutes massaging, kneading, pulling as well as stretching the lower body in an effort to separate painful lactic acid accumulation as well as get the development procedure moving. Stretch them again that night, and once again the adhering to early morning and night to assist reduce DOMS (postponed beginning muscle mass soreness) which will certainly get here regarding 2 Days after your regimen has ended. Stretch to grow!

Tip #5 - Grow the entire body You cannot just train the top body and also expect to grow. And you cannot just train the reduced body and expect to grow. Much way too many lifters will get in the fitness center with the mindset of "I have to fix this certain weak point" when they should be stating "I need to expand this total physique". Don't forget leg training, yet do not allow it to come to be the facility as well as sole emphasis of your training either. Train legs with around 1/4 of your total quantity as well as training strength each week, however remember it is just one piece of the puzzle.

Tip # 6 - Do not go crazy with the cardio Building muscular tissue is the key to growing bigger and also thicker legs - that should be typical sense? You can not acquire the weight needed to construct brand-new muscular tissue if you are living in a caloric deficit. A bit of cardio throughout your muscle-building phase is fine. Your heart health as well as stamina will thank you. Nevertheless, a LOT of cardio will lead to you getting leaner, something that isn't to your benefit when you're trying to include the inches to your upper legs. Stick to 10 minutes, 2-3 times each week, for extremely minimal cardiovascular health and wellness that won't disrupt your brand-new thigh training and also succeeding growth.

Tip # 7 - Usage partials - Like Platz! Tom Platz was understood for his capacity to torment the thighs like none various other. Among his essential techniques was to utilize completely blister the legs with squats, after that move on to leg extensions until they were 1/8 variety partials. He would certainly move that weight, beginning with complete associates, then 3/4 raps, after that half repeatings, completely down till his legs were only relocating that weight for a portion of an inch. The melt his upper legs had by that factor must have been apparent - his legs are most likely still among the very best of all time, also offered the progressed in modern technology over the previous 30 years. Platz qualified way past failing, and utilized partial repetitions to do so.

Tip #8 - Avoid injury The sporting activity of bodybuilding is loaded with athletes like Joel Stubbs - a man with an upper body better compared to Mr. Olympia himself - whose knee injury prevents his reduced body from ever reaching the exact same first-rate degrees of muscular tissue we see with his top body. If you do want to compete at the higher levels, you are mosting likely to need to preserve your knee wellness. This implies utilizing workouts, wrapping the knees on hefty sets, using a spotter, and also extending. Oh, as well as a little bit of excellent luck never injured anyone either!

Tip #9 - The chemical aspect At some point, to make the most of leg development and push on your own to the higher echelon of leg development, you could have to relocate into the realm of anabolic steroids. It is a sad truth of the sport, most likely one of health, that steroid made use of needs to be a factor. The boosted testosterone simply provides so several added benefits in terms of muscle dimension gain, healthy protein assimilation, red blood cell count, as well as recovery capability that it is in truth a need to compete at the leading levels.

Tip # 10 - Simply a little patience You have to offer it time. Platz, Branch Warren, Ronnie Coleman - every one of them spent 5 years in the weight space under that squat shelf before you ever before heard their name, just connecting away, week after week, month after month. It is time for you to do the very same. Keep your shorts on, include some food to your kitchen table, and place in the work that will be required. Wait as well as see, your body will have no option yet to expand, given such ruthless training and also appropriate training healing factors.

There's clear formula for building crazy upper legs. You need to show up, train like a madman, offer your body with the sources it requires to recoup, and also give it time. The rest is just nature taking its training course! Be patient yet constantly available to brand-new concepts as you function to slowly develop an excellent collection of quads, 1 millimeter at a time!

#bodybuilding #bodybuilding workout #exercise #fitness #fitness center #health #health and wellness #the fitness center #weight #wellness #workout #workout routines

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rugbyshirtwatch · 6 years

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No matter what level you play rugby at, as the the start of a new season is usually a mix of excitement and dread – excitement for getting back on the field with your teammates, dread at the slog of weekly training in between! But whether you’re a training machine or you have a more 1970s view of match prep, one thing that’s guaranteed to get you right up for those chilly weekday evenings – some lovely new stash.

To give us that new season/new stash motivation bump, the good people at Canterbury, New Balance and Stance sent us a complete, head-to-toe set-up designed to keep us training hard and feeling good no matter the environment or the weather. We’ve spent a few weeks running it all through its paces, and this is what we learned…

We’ll start off with what’s most familiar to us, and that’s the various Canterbury training t-shirts that we’ve been sent – a mixture of Ospreys-branded ‘Drill’ tees, and the non-team-specific Superlight tees.

There’s a difference in both price and construction to this pair, but we’re really impressed at the functionality and smart design that makes both options well suited to different jobs.

The Superlight tee is what you want to be wearing when you’re getting your sweat on doing cardio – whether that’s doing conditioning drills, going for a run, or pounding a wattbike until you think you’re going to melt.

The Superlight tee is made of Canterbury’s ‘Adaptive’ version of its Vapodri material – it’s different to the standard Vapodri gear that we looked at a few years ago in Rucked & Rated. It’s thinner – at least 50% thinner to our touch, and ridiculously lightweight, but still does a great job of wicking moisture and regulating your temperature.

In practice, we there’s a noticeable difference one you really start to get the heart rate up – especially if you’re in a hotbox of a gym or outside in warm weather. It keeps you cooler, feels less restrictive and generally gets out of the way.

As great as the Adaptive fabric is, however – it’s worth noting that areas that are going to experience a lot of friction – the sleeves and ribs of the shirt – are still made of the regular, thicker Vapodri material. Our guess is this is because the Adaptive fabric isn’t the most hard-wearing material – understandable given its purpose, but worth noting.

If you do need something a little more hard-wearing, however, don’t fret – the Drill t-shirt has you covered. These examples look stunning in the same graphic used on the 2018/19 Ospreys home and away shirts, but they’re also cleverly thought out to deal with more rigorous training treatment.

So we have the ultra-thin Adaptive fabric here, but only on the the front of the shirt where you’re going to get really sweaty. the sleeves and back of the jersey are all made of the thicker ventilated Vapodri material, while the underarms and side panels are made of stretch fabric to improve your ease of movement. You also get the same crew-style collar as the 2018/19 on-field shirts.

This shirt is designed for the weight room and the training pitch – it might not keep you quite as cool as the Superlight tee, but it more than makes up for it in the ruggedness of its build. It also has smart little design features such as an elongated rear segment, which means you won’t show off too much when you’re bending over to pick up a ball or rack some weights!

We’ve had a pretty amazing summer, weather wise, here in the UK, and as a result it’s easy to forget that it won’t always be warm and dry when you’re hitting tacklebags on a Wednesday evening! Before long, you’ll need to protect yourself from the elements, and thankfully Canterbury has us sorted in that department too.

The Ospreys Vaposhield hoodie has probably been the most impressive bit of kit we’ve tested here – it’s just so damn useful. It’s lightweight enough to wear while exercising without getting too hot, but solid enough that you won’t worry about someone grabbing and ripping it. The hood design is also very smart – it’s a three-piece construction that has a peak and a neck/lower face protecting segment to shield you from the elements while not compromising visibility.

The real kicker is the material it’s made of. Vaposhield is Canterbury’s water-resistant fabric – you may remember it from the 2017 Lions jersey – and we’re hugely impressed at how it performs on this hoodie. From light showers to absolutely torrential downpours, the water doesn’t penetrate at all, and all from a fabric that feels like cotton and doesn’t have that horrible ‘wrapped in clingfilm’ non-breathability that waterproof clothing can sometimes have.

When things get a bit chilly, however, we’ll be reaching for the Thermoreg 3/4 zip jumper – this ridiculously light-weight top is great if you’re standing around in the cold waiting for the rest of the team to turn up, but it’s remarkably breathable once the action starts, too.

It’s also the perfect bit of attire if you’re in more of a spectating frame of mind – it’ll keep you warm on the terraces without making you feel claustrophobic. Definitely not what you’d want to be wearing in the rain, though – those ventilation pores work both ways!

When it comes to boots, we’ll be the first to admit that we’re no experts – after all, the name’s Rugby Shirt Watch! – but if someone sends us some rugby gear to test, then dammit we’re going to test it. And in the case of these New Balance Furon 3.0 Pro boots, we’re really glad we did.

Many of us in the rugby world are a bit set in our ways in terms of boots – especially if we were born at some time before 1990 – but if you’ve been telling yourself that the same old pair of boots that are older than your colts team fly-half are all you need to play your best… it’s time to meet 2018.

Slipping on the Furons is genuinely like putting on a pair of your favourite slippers. Everything about the fit, the support, the flexibility and general comfort is absolutely uncanny – and they’re so light you’ll instantly forget you’re wearing them. And with an elasticated collar for better ankle support and sprinter-inspired stud layout, you’ll at least tell yourself it makes you faster – regardless of evidence to the contrary.

Okay, so if you’re of an old-school bent you may not be comfortable wearing boots in a ‘look at me’ neon yellow – though they do come in black! – and we wonder how much punishment that super comfortable and responsive TPU/polyester mesh upper could take compared to traditional leather boots. But if you want a boot that will get you performing at your best while making you stand out from the crowd, New Balance has you covered.

The most pleasant surprise in our training package was the one thing that, to be honest, we weren’t exactly excited about. After all, can we really get het up about socks? Well, maybe you should try a pair of Stance socks before you answer that question…

Stance might well be a new name to you, but they’re a big noise in the US, where they’ve scored contracts with the NBA and MLB to provide on-field/court socks to some of the world’s best athletes. They’re now expanding into Europe, and have just signed up England star Billy Vunipola as an ambassador – so rugby is clearly on their agenda.

We know what you’re thinking – ‘£14 for a pair of socks? Really?!’ Well yes, they’re certainly not cheap… but if you think that these Distances Crew socks are just overpriced versions of the five for a fiver tube socks you get from Sports Direct… well… think again.

Stance socks are designed to make sure you never get sore feet again – and if you do, it won’t be because your socks have let you down. There’s cushioning where you need it on the heel and foot pad, no seams and extra padding around the toes to protect the most fragile bit of your foor, and arch support to work in conjunction with your boots or trainers to keep you working for longer.

Quite honestly, these are the most comfortable and supportive pair of socks we’ve ever worn. Don’t worry about training – we wish we had a pair for every day of the week!

If ‘look good, feel good’ didn’t have an element of truth about it, every sports team on the planet would be running around in plain black or white kits with short back and sides haircuts.

The truth is that whether you’re playing sport every week, or just want to spur yourself into being a bit more active, kitting yourself out with some new gear won’t just help you when you’re working – it’ll inspire you to get out and do it in the first place.

The gear we’ve tested today from Canterbury, New Balance and Stance works superbly in practice, but it all looks absolutely awesome, too. If you’re looking to inject some excitement into your training routine for the new season, a fresh look might be just what you need.

For more information about Canterbury’s 2018 training gear, visit Canterbury.com, to find out more about New Balance shoes and boots, head to NewBalance.co.uk, and to learn about Stance, check out Stance.eu.com.

Rucked & Rated: Best Rugby Training Gear 2018 No matter what level you play rugby at, as the the start of a new season is usually a mix of excitement and dread - excitement for getting back on the field with your teammates, dread at the slog of weekly training in between!

#Canterbury #Features #New Balance #Ospreys #Rucked & Rated #Stance #Training #training gear

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dotexts · 3 years

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The Best Heart Rate Monitor Watches

A heart rate monitor is a tool that measures your heart rate in real-time. Although it was originally conceived as a medical device, sports have been added to its scientific use in recent times.

Thanks to a very rapid technological evolution, today the work of these devices goes far beyond the simple monitoring of the heartbeat since the data collected is sent to another device (watch, smartphone, computer) that analyzes and interprets it, sending back useful information: physical fitness, activity level, personalized training, forecast of competition results ... And to all that we add mobile connectivity, with access to social networks and specific applications depending on the chosen sport.

In total, that today sports heart rate monitors are mini-computers with so many possibilities that it is easy to get lost between technical specifications, and in the end, one does not know what to buy.

Why do I need a GPS? Will I get a smart band to measure my workouts? Does it pay me to invest time in learning to handle the schedules? They are common questions, and that is why, in this buying guide we are going to break down the main characteristics of these devices, explaining what each thing is and what it is for. So that you make the right decision yourself and buy the best heart rate monitor for your case.

Guide to buying the best heart rate monitor

We have already said it, but just in case we repeat it: the first thing is to think about what you want it for. It is not the same to prepare the San Silvestre of your town as to train the UltraTrail of Mont-Blanc. If your thing is to go for a run a couple of times a week to vent and keep fit, you may not need the best smartwatch on the market (although we recognize that it would look great on your wrist).

Therefore, above all, realism. Do not spend € 400 on a smartwatch that you are not going to take advantage of. Don't invest in a GPS if you don't get out of the gym. Do not install apps that you do not know or how they are used. To understand us: do not buy a Ferrari to drive on back roads.

Now, if your thing is to train hard and push your own limits, congratulations. It is an excellent time for sports because manufacturers have seen the vein and are bringing authentic machines to the market, with customization possibilities unthinkable a few years ago.

It is also true that with a smart band you will get in shape AND you WILL more:

Heart rate monitor, activity bracelet or sports watch, what does each one do?

Although they are often used synonymously, and the same device can combine characteristics of one and the other, several concepts should be clear before we get lost in the hundreds of options available on the market.

An analog heart rate monitor measures your pulse. Already. It neither analyzes the data nor tells you what to do with it. At most, the former were combined with a pedometer or a calorie counter.

An activity bracelet or smart band monitors all your movements throughout the day, including your sleep rhythms. This way you can calculate your status in great detail, set daily challenges, and record the achievements made day by day. This dynamic is very motivating, and more and more people are using it to help them maintain healthy habits.

A smartwatch or smartwatch is a small instrument that is worn on the wrist and is linked to a more powerful device, usually a smartphone. These types of watches have many more features than a bracelet (they vary depending on the model), including the option of having GPS, and are recommended for athletes who seek to train systematically and more or less professionally.

Main functions not to get lost heart rate meter

Come on, the heart rate monitor of a lifetime. Here it is important to see the device that is used because there are two basic options:

External sensor. These are usually chest bands or belts, although there are runners who put a sensor on their ankles. Not so long ago they were what they had, although many people complained that they were not comfortable and that is why they did not use them or reserved them for specific stress tests. Today the designs have improved considerably, and it must be said that they are the ones that offer the greatest precision in measurements. Essential if the sport involves aquatic activity.

Wrist sensor. The system is a bit more complicated than counting the heartbeat: an optical sensor calculates the amount of blood pumped and from there the heart rate is deduced. As it seems, it is less reliable than a chest strap, but the technology moves fast and there are already really good sensors that are very close to the ideal. The minor or major lack of precision is compensated by comfort, yes.

GPS

It is one of the elements that determine the price in a very clear way. If closed gym activity is your thing, you probably don't need it; But the moment you go abroad, the quality of the measurements is very noticeable when scheduling training. If you move around the city you will take advantage of it. If you go out to the mountain, you need it. Not only because of the information it is going to give you, but because it can get you out of a serious problem if you get lost en route or if you need medical help and you must give your precise location.

Submersible

If you like to wear your watch all day, it is something that you have to contemplate and that will also show in the price. Most watches state on their data sheet that they can be worn underwater, but there are many levels of quality. Some, more than submersible, are wet and will only hold a shower with great difficulty. This information is usually indicated with the IP name and in these tables, you can see the different levels of protection, although the manufacturer does not always provide this information.

A good way to know what the device will hold is to look at how many meters it can submerge, assuming that most manufacturers are very optimistic on the subject. With a resistance of 50 m you can start using it in the pool, and little else. We are talking about diving from 100 m.

If the connection with the charger involves removing the strap, extra care must be taken because the tightness tends to suffer from handling. If the strap is fixed and you want to change it or you need to replace the battery, have a professional do it if you want to guarantee that you do not get water in the next workout.

Finally, if you sweat a lot, don't think about it: you need a waterproof watch. Otherwise, its service life may be noticeably shortened.

Download data and social networks

Unless you buy an analog heart rate monitor, the normal thing is that any device already has an application for data download integrated, either of its own design or with software compatible with the most popular apps. The program "chews" your measurements and gives you diagnoses and training proposals, which can be 100% personalized.

Phone connectivity

It's not exactly a sports tool, but it can make your life a lot easier. On the screen you can view incoming calls and answer them, view messages, agenda, notifications from social networks ... There are those who when they go out to play sports take the opportunity to forget the world, but in an increasingly connected society sometimes it is important to have the information in real-time.

One last detail: the stress test

The goal of having an external tool is to customize each exercise to achieve optimal performance. A well-calibrated heart rate monitor will warn you if you are lazy, that is if you can train more intensely; or if, on the other hand, you are overexerting yourself, something that you only have to do at very specific moments if you don't want to damage your body.

To correctly interpret the data collected, it is advisable — if not essential—… to do a stress test that indicates our specific capacity. In this way, we rule out possible health problems that can give us a bad scare when training or competing.

Don't think about it: if you are going to invest in a bracelet or smartwatch, invest in a stress test first. It will tell you the state of your heart, and so you can take care of it with much more discretion. After all, sport is healthy, right?

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superriyauniverse · 3 years

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Do Workout Clothes Make a Difference?

Fitness has been a major routine for most in the past decade. And the COVID-19 pandemic in the year 2020 made health the very core of the surviving and living. Working out, whether it’s indoor, jogging, or gym session, has become more significant to stay healthy and improve your immunity. And with it, the workout clothes came into more limelight. But, do workout clothes bring a difference? How do they help you sweat more and achieve the desired fitness? What type of workout clothes and joggers is the best? You must be faced with these and more such questions. After all, we are not only working out in track pants and joggers; we are practically living in those, thanks to lockdown and work from home. So, let’s get to answer all your doubts about workout clothes.

What Should You Wear while Working Out? Well, let’s start by discussing what the ideal workout wear is. Whatever you choose, t-shirt and joggers, leggings, or tracksuit, it should be comfortable and well-fitted to your body from top to bottom. This also includes your innerwear and footwear, socks, and shoes both. Choose the workout clothes made of performance fabric. Try a few of your choice. Make sure they are stretchable enough and still support your body well, especially your muscles and fatty tissues. The point is to choose clothes that feel good and comfortable. So you can focus on your workout.

Can Sportswear Improve Your Performance? Yes, the clothes you choose for a workout directly affect your performance. Not only good sportswear boosts your confidence and your attitude towards exercise, but also provides a protective layer against any workout injuries. However, it’s more important to choose the right sportswear designed for your sport, whether you are a runner, swimmer, biker, hiker, or other.

What is the Best Fabric for Workout Clothes? Your workout clothes do more than just making you look and feel good. The right fabric can help your sweating session. Different types of fabrics have different benefits. While some fabrics are stretchable, others compress, some wick moisture while some fight odor naturally. So, you have to choose the fabric based on what you want to get out the most from your activewear. Here are the best fabrics for workout clothes and their benefits. • Cotton – naturally absorbs moisture and fights odor. • Polyester – Lightweight, breathable, repels UV rays, and provides insulation. Good for outdoor sports. • Spandex/ Lycra – Wicks away moisture and dries quickly, breathable and stretchable. • Nylon – Wicks moisture and dries quickly, breathable, soft, and great stretch and compress recovery. • Polypropylene – Breathable, lightweight, water-resistant, and insulating. • Bamboo/ Tencel – sweat-wicking fabric, feels soft, breathable, wrinkle-resistant, and has UPF 50+.

How Many Workout Outfits Should You Own? Now, you must have got an idea of what type and fabric to choose for your workout clothes. But the next question that comes is how many workout outfits should you own. Well, it depends on how often you exercise and do the laundry. Many people think it’s alright to use the same clothes twice or thrice for working out before you wash them. But doing so is a wrong hygiene practice as it can cause bacteria and yeast to build up and lead to skin problems. So have an extra set or two of sportswear. So in case you miss the laundry cycle, you won’t have to skip your exercise for the day just because of a lack of fresh and clean activewear.

Tight or Loose Activewear: What’s Better to Wear While Working Out? Neither is recommended. Choose the clothing that fits perfectly and feels comfortable. Too tight clothing may cause blood circulation problems, especially while working out. Thus, it’s also advisable to avoid wearing leggings for an intense workout as they are too tight and leave very little room for the skin to breathe. And thus can cause a yeast infection. However, clothing that is too loose can dangle or catch into something while you are moving to increase the risk of you falling and getting injured. Especially if you practice yoga, avoid doing it while wearing flared bottoms.

What Shouldn’t You Wear to the Gym? Now that you have found the perfect fitted activewear that is not too tight or too loose let’s see what clothing you should avoid when working out in the gym. The first thing you shouldn’t wear to the gym is too comfortable or baggy clothes, even if it’s your favorite sweatshirt from college or sports bra you own since school. It not only affect your performance but also affects others around you, either making you or them awkward while working out. Here is a list of things you should leave home before heading to the gym: • Super comfortable and baggy clothes • Innerwear with no control • Little to no stretch old elastic bands • Unwashed socks and shoes • Clothes that are too tight • Type of clothes that hold sweat and smell • Jewelry and other accessories • Face full of makeup

How to Look Good in Workout Clothes? Went over the list of things not to wear to the gym? Now let’s see how you can style workout clothes to look good and feel comfortable. Choose activewear that shows off your natural curves and built-up muscles. Go for a sports bra that boosts your confidence and opt for the types of clothes that suit your body type. Keep it simple yet attractive. When styling your activewear for women, choosing the right top and bottom wear is the key. Based on the type of your workout, you can pair leggings with a little loose fitting yoga top. Or opt for a womens activewear t-shirt and ankle-length striped joggers for your outdoor run. When hitting the gym, you can try a sports bra with the same colored jogger or stretchable pants. You can also try a camisole top over your sports bra if that makes you more comfortable.

Can You Wear Athletic Wear in Public? Why not! In fact, wearing sportswear to the occasion is the current fashion trend that is here to stay. Many brands and designers are bringing out the activewear range that is more functional and stylish to wear outside the gym. Instead of classic black, grey, and navy blue, choose bright shades or pastel hues in hoodies. Try crop sweatshirts or printed or patterned t-shirts when going out for a casual weekend. Mix and match the colors and patterns well, and you can certainly dress up your athletic wear for different occasions.

Should You Wear a Bra Under a Sports Bra? You can if that’s what makes you comfortable and provide the right supports to your breasts. But you shouldn’t have to. If you feel the need to wear something under your sports bra for more support, it’s clear your sports bra is not the job right. Choose the right size and coverage when buying a sports bra. Also, try a lightly padded sports bra for proper support.

How Tight Should be Your Sports Bra? The band supporting the bra should be well-fitted but not too tight on the rib cage. To know what a good fit is, try inserting two fingers between the band. If they fit, that’s a good fitting for a sports bra, not too tight, not too loose. Also, try choosing a sports bra with a wide band as these are more supportive. Make sure the shoulder straps feel secure and provide less stretch to restrict the up-and-down movements of the breasts while working out.

Do You Have to Wear a Sports Bra While Exercising?

Yes and no. Be it a sports bra or a regular bra, all types of bras are to be worn for the sole purpose of supporting your breasts. You can wear a regular bra while working out. However, if you have heavy breasts, not having proper support during a workout can severely damage the tissues leading to breast and back pain. Thus, wearing a sports bra is advisable for a workout. Now that your major concerns about workout clothes are cleared, shop for activewear for men and women along with the right sportswear online. Explore different styles, types, and fabrics, and choose the activewear that suits your body type and workout routine more.

#activewear for women #activewear for men #mens activewear #womens activewear

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contrarianshit · 6 years

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I’m late to the game, but #MeToo. I decided I needed to write this down. It’d be nice if you read it.

“It’s a staycation,” my friends told me, trying to convince me to book a room in a nearby hotel for the weekend. I was hesitant at first, as I was tired of going somewhere every weekend. I eventually gave in, due to FOMO and the thought of having functioning air conditioning in the sweltering 105º weather. I booked a room for myself for that Saturday.

The night before, we all went to the hotel for drinks. The hotel was one of the only places that served alcohol, and what else do college students do on the weekend? I might have had a shot or two, offset by a fresh can of pineapple juice, but I was ready to go home at midnight.

But I had a roommate and we had one key, so we had to go home at the same time. I exasperatedly watched her flirt with one of our classmates by the pool. They seemed oblivious to the fact that everyone had gone home except for the pair. Well, not everyone. I was there. His roommate, Chad, was there.

Chad kept me company. I don’t know what we talked about, but it was nice. We had never really had a full conversation before, but he opened up to me about his struggles in his family. I related. But there was so much about him that was different. He was twenty-four and had been in the army. I was twenty and only had one weak little muscle from playing squash.

He rose and announced he was going to bed (he and his roommate had also booked rooms for that night). I waved goodbye to him, and waited for my roommate to get the goddamn hint that we should go and leave. Finally, we left at 2pm. I was livid.

We all arrived the next afternoon at the hotel. Although I had my own room, I spent most of my time in my friends’ room, watching TV and gathering the courage to put on bathing suits and head to the pool.

“You know Chad and Cameron got separate rooms?” Nisha said. I laughed.

“What, do they really think they’re gonna hook up with people this weekend? How presumptuous,” I said.

I put on athletic shorts and a sports bra, wrapped a towel around myself, and walked over to the pool with my friend Maddy.

We jumped into the pool. Chad grabbed my ankle and pulled me under. I didn’t like that. I tried to get my revenge by grabbing his ankle, but he was too fast and much too strong. He always saw it coming.

In the evening, we all started drinking. Everyone gathered in Maddy and Nisha’s room, and it was too much. There were too many people. I took some shots of vodka and announced I was retiring to my room for the night. Nisha pulled my arm, concerned about me, but I just wanted to get out of there. I pulled my small bottle of wine from the fridge and went next door.

I had noticed that another one of my friends had left the party, so I went to check on her. She opened the door and Chad was there with her. I was surprised. They both didn’t like the crowded, noisy room either.

Chad patted the space next to him on the bed. I was a little tipsy. I rolled into bed next to him, and we all started talking. As we talked, his hands wandered. I don’t think I stopped him. It must have been the alcohol, right? I get more affectionate when I’m drunk; he could be the same. But then his hand slipped further and further, under the waistband of my underwear. The snap of the elastic when he removed his hand stung.

I got up and struggled to get the cork out of the wine bottle. He helped me. I chugged and he laughed, telling me to slow down. I didn’t.

We all went to dinner at a restaurant at the hotel. Chad continued to be touchy, and I whispered to one of my friends, “He keeps touching me.” She told me to ignore him.

At dinner, he sat across from me. He ate some of my bread, and put his hand out for me to put my hand in. I remember knowing exactly what he wanted me to do, but staring at his hand as if I didn’t. Did he think I was flirting with him when I looked up at him like he was strange for putting his hand out? Finally, he motioned for me to put my hand in his and I did.

He ordered wine and I drank out of some of it. We went to the bar to pay for our individual meals and he put his hand on the small of my back when we were all leaving.

We all collapsed on chairs by the pool, deciding what to do next. We decided to go to the club next to the restaurant, which was known to be a little shady, but we were drunk and young, and we could handle ourselves, right?

Chad tugged on my hand. “What do you want to do?” He looked at me intently.

I knew what he was implying. I laughed and said, “well we’re all going to the club! Let’s go!” He reluctantly followed me.

I had fun in the club. It was a bit sketchy but I was dancing with my friends so it didn’t matter. Chad looked a little out of place, and told us that he was going to wait outside for us.

I messaged him on Facebook.

“Are you okay? Do you need anything?”

“I’m good I’m just outside the door!”

“What’s up”

“Idk. Just chilling. Whatsup with you?”

“It’s not sweaty! I like dancing when it’s not sweaty. But also are you sure? Too many lights? People? I can come.” I’m not sure why I wanted to make sure he was alright. Maybe I liked the attention he was giving me. Maybe I was actually concerned. I don’t know.

“I’m fine! But you are more than welcome to come”

“That’s a non answer I think”

“Come here”

And I went. I told Nisha I was going back to my room. Why did I lie? I didn’t want her to think I cared about Chad, so I lied. She told me to text her when I got to my room.

He was outside the doors, waiting for me. We talked for a bit, and then we were very close. Close enough to close the space. And so I did.

I think about it now. Why did I kiss him? I wasn’t necessarily attracted to him. Yes, he was attractive, but not in the way that I liked. I had told him that the day earlier, when he asked about my type. I told him “skinny, awkward boys.” The opposite of him. Did he not remember that?

We were in public, so he suggested we go back to his room. I shook my head and told him I wanted to stay here. But he insisted. Why didn’t I insist? I blindly followed him back to his room.

The walk was long, but as soon as we got in the room, he started kissing me again. Okay, I thought, this is alright. He drank some of his alcohol and offered me some. I politely refused. We kissed again, and he wrapped his hand around my neck and pushed me onto the bed. I didn’t like that, but my first instinct was to laugh. It felt so uncomfortable, so weird.

He pushed his hand up my shirt, under my sports bra. I wanted to laugh again, at my own inadequacies that he must have discovered in that moment. His hands slid under my skirt, under my underwear, and I pushed them away. No, I said in my head. He tried again. I pushed them away. And then again. Couldn’t he take the hint? He stopped trying for a bit, and I sighed in relief. He probably mistook that sigh for something else.

He got off me and swung around to the end of the bed. He pushed my skirt up, and hooked his fingers around my underwear. Wait, what? Didn’t he know I didn’t want that? But I let him slide them down my legs, around my ankles, off.

He put his mouth on me. What should I have done differently in that moment? It was fine, it was fine, it was fine, I told myself. You want this, you kissed him first. But as I watched him from somewhere outside my body, tears came to my eyes. You don’t want this, I reminded myself. This feels wrong. This feels wrong.

“Stop,” I said. He stopped automatically and saw my distraught face.

“What’s wrong?” He was concerned.

I pushed him away. “I don’t know.”

We talked a bit, and I opened up to him. He had told me earlier that he wanted to kill himself. I told him not to joke about that because that’s the reality for a lot of people. He asked about my situation. I told him about the times I’ve stood at the top of our school and looked down at the street below, plucking at any courage I have to actually lean over and jump. But I didn’t.

He nodded along, and I felt a little bit more comfortable.

“Why don’t you come closer? I want to cuddle.”

I didn’t want to cuddle.

I made up my mind. It’s fine, I can do this. So I started to unbutton his shirt. I asked him “is this okay?” Of course it was okay. He had had his head beneath my skirt, why would this not have been okay? But maybe I asked to show him what he’s supposed to do. How he’s supposed to get consent.

I heard my phone vibrating. I told him I should get that and he told me not to. But I looked at him incredulously and told him that I need to be there for my friends.

I picked up. My friend asked me where I am. I bit my lip and said “I’m in my room.”

She said she was outside my door and asked me to open the door. Fuck, now I’m caught in my lie. I found my shirt on the floor and put it on, before I opened the door and saw my friends across the hallway in front of my door.

“Hey, what’s up?” I tried to act cool.

“You said you would text me and you never did, so I got worried.” Nisha was mad. Really angry.

“I’m really sorry, I was just talking with Chad.” They peeked in the door and saw that Chad had discarded his shirt. Fuck. They looked at me, surprised, and returned to their room.

I found my underwear and stuffed it into my bag.

“I’m sorry, I’ve got to go.”

I rushed after my friends. Nisha was pissed and won’t talk to me. Maddy seemed annoyed but not angry. I started to cry, and really cry. I didn’t want anyone to be angry at me. I didn’t want Chad. I didn’t want any of this.

Nisha wouldn’t let me sleep in my room by myself. I called my brother and sister crying. Nisha wouldn’t talk to me. How could this one, dumb decision screw up everything?

The next day felt like agony. I was on the brink of crying at any moment. I texted my friend Sarah, who has been trained to handle situations like this, and asked her to come down before checkout. I immediately burst into tears when she walked in the room.

“I didn’t want to,” I sobbed. “I tried to say no, but he still did it.”

She comforted me.

They all still talked to Chad, joked around with him, and every time I saw him I bolted. I couldn’t face him. I was so embarrassed. What would have happened if my friends hadn’t called me? I probably would have done whatever he wanted. Because that’s what I did. I stifled my feelings and let this person take control.

I stood on the rooftop of that building several times that week, wondering if I should jump. My friends weren’t talking to me, I felt disgusting every time I saw Chad, and I wanted to die. But I didn’t.

I didn’t want to call it anything. “Sexual assault” felt much too serious. After all, he stopped once I asked him to. But I knew I didn’t quite agree to any of the things that happened beyond kissing at the club. I just wanted to kiss him, that’s all. Instead, I’m now haunted by his aggressive hands. So I didn’t call it anything. “What happened in Morocco” became the label. And it still is the label.

He had sex with another girl later that summer. Repeatedly. Roughly. She was pretty. I felt like shit when I found out from Nisha in the fall. He just wanted sex. He would have had sex with anyone, and he saw the vulnerability, the desperation, the sadness in my eyes, and found his perfect target.

I should have known that anyone named “Chad” would have been trouble.

#metoo

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gethealthy18-blog · 4 years

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298: Getting Back to Happy With Marc and Angel Chernoff

New Post has been published on https://healingawerness.com/news/298-getting-back-to-happy-with-marc-and-angel-chernoff/

298: Getting Back to Happy With Marc and Angel Chernoff

Child: Welcome to my Mommy’s podcast.

This podcast is brought to you by Fabletics, my go-to place for quality affordable athletic gear that is trendy and fun. They have yoga, running, gym gear, sports bras, shoes, accessories and more. If you’ve never tried Fabletics, I highly recommend starting at their collections page so you can see trending pieces. Fabletics also releases brand new styles, collections and prints every month! And pro tip – if you guys become a VIP with Fabletics, you’ll get up to 50% off regular pricing and instant access to their latest collections. Plus the best part is that there’s NO commitment to order on a regular basis – you can skip any month. Before I forget, Fabletics is offering my listeners an incredible deal you don’t want to miss: Get 2 leggings for only $24 ($99 value) when you sign up for a VIP. Just go to Fabletics.com/wellnessmama to take advantage of this deal now. That’s Fabletics.com/wellnessmama to get 2 leggings for only $24. Also free shipping on orders over $49. International shipping is available and there is absolutely no commitment when you purchase your first order!

Today’s podcast is sponsored by one of my favorite companies… Four Sigmatic. I love all of their delicious coffees, teas and elixirs and they are such a part of my daily routine that I can’t even remember the last time a day went by when I didn’t consume at least one of their products. With both caffeine free and naturally caffeinated options like coffee and matcha combined with superfood mushrooms like chaga, cordyceps and reishi. Their drinks are functional and delicious and I notice a difference when I don’t drink them. My normal routine is to drink coffee with Lions Mane in the morning, cordyceps or chaga while I work during the day and reishi to wind down at night. My kids also love the reishi cocoa and it helps them sleep better. Check out all of their products and save 15% on any order with the code wellnessmama at foursigmatic.com/wellnessmama

Katie: Hello and welcome to “The Wellness Mama Podcast.” I’m Katie from wellnessmama.com and I’m here today with Marc and Angel Chernoff who are “The New York Times” bestselling authors of the book, “Getting Back to Happy” and the creators of Marc and Angel Hack Life which was recognized by Forbes as one of the most popular personal development blogs. They also authored “1000 Little Things That Happy Successful People Do Differently.” Through their writing, coaching, and event, they have helped thousands of people over the last decade with proven strategies for getting unstuck in order to find lasting happiness and success.

And they especially work with people who are going through tough phases and transitions of life including relationship changes, the loss of a loved one, job changes, or just depression or having trouble working through some of those phases of life. So I hope that you will enjoy this episode as much as I do.

Marc and Angel, welcome. Thank you guys so much for being here. And I don’t feel I can start with an intro like that without jumping into the questions by asking to hear your story. I know firsthand that you have a pretty amazing one. So let’s start off with some background. What is your story and how did you become what you are today?

Marc: So our story actually started when we were in our late 20s. At this point in our lives, we had no investment in personal development, self-improvement, looking into the mindset tools that were necessary to live a healthy life. And half the reason that was is simply because up until that point, we had had pretty good lives, right? We didn’t have anything major happen to us that was tragic. You know, people had passed, certainly, but they were grandparents. And then we ran into this very difficult season in our lives. It started when Angel’s older brother, Todd, died by suicide.

Just a few short weeks after that event, we lost our mutual best friend, Josh, to a heart attack at the age of 27. It was driven by an asthma attack and up to that point, he had never had a difficult asthma attack, never had it like a big asthma attack. It was always just small things and so we didn’t even realize that was a challenge for him. And this was a downturn in the economy. So, you know, we’re talking, this is the ’07-’08 timeframe. Both of us lost our jobs. We were struggling financially, we were struggling emotionally, we didn’t know how to cope with the loss that we were dealing with, the grief that surrounded it.

It slowly spiraled into mild to moderate depression for both of us and we started arguing as a couple. We were a newly married couple, married a few years at that point, and started basically lashing out at each other rather than having the loving and supportive conversations that we needed to have. We were leveraging alcohol and distractions like binge watching television to escape and bypass everything that we were dealing with, the emotions that were unsettling. And so luckily enough, we were both willing to see therapists. Through that therapy, we were basically urged to do some self-study as well. And so we started reading both Eastern philosophy and Christian philosophy.

So the Byron Katie’s and the Wayne Dyer’s of the world as an example. And we started really dialing into the tools that were necessary. We realized that we were at this point in our lives where the things that we were doing on a daily basis were not serving us. And so we started listening to the therapists, we started listening to what we were reading, and we started practicing. We actually started our website as a public accountability channel to hold ourselves accountable to what we were learning. And the communication opened up from there and it’s a big black box between then and now, but we basically dedicated ourselves to overcoming this and to sharing the struggle that we were going through to get to a better place.

Every single step, everything that we did was difficult and we put it out there very vulnerably and honestly and said like, “This is what we’re going through and here’s what we’re doing,” on our blog, marcandangel.com. Like, here’s what we’re doing to step through this. And we weren’t really writing for anyone but ourselves, but it was a tool that helped us move forward. So you fast-forward many years and that journey ultimately led us to write books about our story and the tools that we had leveraged to step through it and we moved into coaching and here we are today, which truly is a blessing to be here.

Katie: I feel like that’s such a great illustration though, because maybe that’s one of the misconceptions in today’s world, I think. In my own life as well, I know that some of my greatest life transitions and greatest accomplishments have come from some of the hardest times and I think so often like you guys in the beginning, it’s easy to try to escape those or should try to get away. So what was the mindset or what shifted? Like was there a pivotal time or lightning bolt moment or something that really made you guys make that shift from like we’re just gonna binge watch Netflix and drink to let’s change our lives?

Angel: I think we were just at a point where it was like, you know, is it always gonna be like this? Like, is it always gonna be where I’m just feeling sad and I can’t get out of bed. We got to a point where it’s like, “Okay, we have to change.” Like we have to make the change. We have to start doing things differently if we want to feel differently. And so I think it was just we got to a point where we had to take control over how we were feeling and how we were reacting.

Marc: Yeah. It wasn’t a one big, catastrophic moment. I think sometimes that’s a misconception in our lives. We get into that depressed state or we fail because of one catastrophic moment. And oftentimes, it’s all the little things that we’re doing or not doing. And so we sort of caught ourselves, and with help, of course. Again, I mean we weren’t doing it by ourselves but we caught ourselves and we realized like the things that we are doing on a daily basis, yes, there are these big things that happened to us, but all the little things that we’ve done since those moments have not been serving us. In fact, they’ve been taking us further away from where we wanna be.

And it was just sitting down long enough to realize that and realize that if we, you know, we can’t change the big things that happen but we can change all these little things we’re doing on a daily basis and if we do so, maybe there’s hope, right? And that was the journey we started on, like the daily ritual of like let’s make these small shifts. And they’re hard. I mean it’s easy to say like, “Yeah, I’m gonna make this change,” but to actually be consistent about it daily, especially when you’re struggling emotionally, when you’re dealing with depression, even the small shifts are very hard.

Angel: Yeah, I mean I think when you’re in a season of pain and struggle, I think it’s really hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But down the road, you’re able to look back and see how much growth came from that and how…if you’re living an easy, comfortable life, you’re not able to see the opportunities and the growth possible but it really does take those seasons and those periods of struggle to help you grow and to help you see opportunities.

Katie: So how long of a process was that for you guys? Once you started that transition, was it, I’m guessing not an overnight success. How long did it take before you really started seeing the tangible changes in your own life?

Marc: It’s been years. So you’re talking about the early 2007 timeframe where we started struggling and that period of time lasted a couple of years of like truly struggling, truly dealing with depression, truly being at odds with each other as a married couple living under one roof. And again, speaking to each other in a way that was very defensive as opposed to supportive. So we started doing the coaching at the end of 2012. So you’re talking about a five-year timeframe where we started stepping more into ourselves and realizing that us continuing to share our story. And the coaching initially was completely free.

We were basically running like an online support group where we were saying, “Hey, rather than this blog just being about us, let’s share your story as well. Because people were just…they were writing us and saying, “Hey, like what you’re sharing here, I know you’re still stepping through this but it’s really helping me. And let me tell you about something that’s going on in my life. What do you think of this?” So it was really like five years later that we started writing about others more consistently and what they were going through and kind of wrapping our experiences around their experiences. So yeah, I mean I would say that it was probably roughly five years of a transition between being at rock bottom to being at a place where we felt we could serve others with what we have learned from going through it.

Katie: Wow, yeah, that makes sense, that it would take a while for those things to really like take hold in your own life and then now that you are able to pass those on to other people. You touched on something I think that’s really key to not just this but to whether it be nutrition changes, any change in life, which is that consistency and sticking with it, especially when you don’t want to. And I deal with that more from the side of nutrition and sticking with dietary changes in my background. It sounds like you guys deal with that with people now in coaching. So I’m curious if you have any strategies or practical ways that people can learn to be more consistent because I find, even in my own life, that is perhaps the biggest struggle. We all often have an idea of what we should be doing but that daily consistency is often the biggest battle.

Angel: I completely agree. I mean making it a ritual to where it’s a part of your life and not just something, hey, I’m gonna hold on to for a week or a couple of weeks or do this diet. But yeah, making it a ritual and making it a part of who you are and what you do. And I think one of the keys that’s really helped us is making the activity so small initially that it’s silly not to do. So like, for example, if you wanted to run every day and running a mile is tough, well, maybe just run around the block. It doesn’t have to be…

Marc: Or even walk.

Angel: Yeah, or even walk. It doesn’t have to be this big goal that we have to do initially, but start small. And start so small that it seems silly, that this is what you’re doing but you wanna stay consistent with it. So do it for a month and then add on to it and then do it, so then it’s just part of who you are, just like brushing your teeth, right? You brush your teeth in the morning when you wake up. You don’t have to think about that, you just do it. So breaking down these habits and these rituals so you can do them consistently and it seems silly that you wanna do it.

Marc: Yeah. And another… I mean, again, that’s great advice that we so often, we hear and we don’t do it. I mean, like Angel said, it can be something small, like if you’re waking up earlier in the morning and 10 minutes earlier is too much, do 2 minutes earlier. And do that consistently for a few weeks before you shift it. I mean, it sounds silly, like what’s two minutes gonna do, but two minutes is gonna get you to four minutes and four minutes is gonna get you to six minutes. I mean it’s just that philosophy. It’s something that we intellectually understand but emotionally in the morning when that alarm goes off, we don’t wanna wake up, even so, right?

So we’ve gotta ease ourselves into any change that we’re gonna make. I mean that philosophy is obviously universally applicable in our lives, whether you’re dealing with nutrition, whether you’re dealing with sleep, whether you’re dealing with habits that are gonna help you think better and ultimately live better.

Angel: Yeah. And I think it’s important to know, especially with personal growth, is like you’re never at a point where you’re above this or like you don’t have to work on yourself and you don’t have to practice techniques and mindset tricks. I mean, I think we’re constantly growing and we’re a working progress. So I don’t think it ever gets to a point where you’re like, “Oh, I got this. I’ve mastered this.” It’s always challenging. It’s always hard, but it’s sticking with it and doing the work.

Marc: Right. I mean, we’re multifaceted human beings. I mean, we could have the health thing really down but the relationship thing is falling apart. And even though the same kind of rituals and consistency that you would apply to like your own personal health would be very applicable to nurturing another human being in another relationship and yet somehow, that goes over our head. So yeah, we’re never above it and we have to address it in little chunks. I think another way to address it in little chunks, too, is something as simple as kind of you don’t break the chain calendar where you have like a visual wall calendar where you can see the whole year in one shot or at least a full month in one shot, but a whole year is what we have here.

And we tend to just check off our rituals. So if like one of my rituals is like every day, I’m like, “Marc, have I spent one hour of uninterrupted time with your son?” I mean, that’s something that no matter what’s going on, and a lot of days, it’s more than that but I wanna make sure that the very least is that. And so I have a wall calendar, I literally every day write a check through it when I’ve completed that. I make sure that that’s done in my life. And again, many times, it’s more time than that but I think visually, I’ll run into that busy day where I feel like I’ve got business things, I’ve got client things, I’ve got all these things and I’ll look at that calendar and I’m like, “You know what, I have gone three months without breaking that chain. I’m not gonna start today.” So it’s just a visual reminder of like I’m gonna continue my ritual. And I think that can be applied to any ritual that we want to address in our lives.

Katie: That makes sense. And I love that of starting so small that even seems silly. I feel like that’s kind of the antidote to maybe like New Year’s syndrome where we all make these huge, lofty goals and then we’re trying to like run a marathon, and eat super clean, and do all these things all at once and then it lasts for five days and then you just can’t sustain that because you’re trying to completely overhaul your entire life in one week whereas like small changes probably actually have you yearning to add more on in like I can run a little bit more, I can wake up a little bit earlier because you’re not trying to make such a drastic change all at once.

And I love that you brought up relationships because I think, at least from my audience, from hearing about it and from friends, this seems to be a really big topic right now. I think a lot of people’s relationships are in kind of tough transitioning times right now. And I know that you said at the beginning that you guys had a rough patch in your marriage early on as well. So I’m curious, from your own experience and then now from working with all these thousands of people, if you have some strategies that couples can use, and that we could even potentially use with our children, but especially couples, to make relationship stronger.

Angel: Yeah. I mean, communication is key. We’ve all heard that time and time again but I think where I was falling short was I was keeping my feelings inside or expecting him to know how I was feeling and not explaining how I was feeling, what I was going through, and how I was interpreting things like, “Hey, when you do this or say this, I feel this way.” The same thing is true, you know, we have a five-year-old son named Matt and it’s like explaining to him rather than just saying, “Hey, don’t do that,” but communicating like, hey, this is why you can’t do that or you can’t eat that because we have to do this first or, you know, I’m trying to help keep your mind and your body healthy and this is how I can help.

And so I think communication is huge. And so it’s just evaluating how you’re communicating and how…are you assuming they know what you’re thinking, you know, where are you falling short on that spectrum in terms of communication in relationships?

Marc: Yeah. And not taking things personally especially when there’s stress and there’s grief and there’s loss and you’re dealing with big things, but even the small things. I mean, we all see things, like Angel just said, differently. We can all go through a similar experience and interpret it differently and have different understandings of it and even be able to cope with it in different ways. And so a lot of times, especially in family dynamics, it’s tough when you have somebody in your life who is naysaying the thing that you’re trying to accomplish and kind of talking down to you about your dreams or about…even about a tough situation. They make it sound like it’s no big deal.

You’ve gotta keep things in perspective, which is tough to do. And so, for instance, if you’re trying to…if you got some lofty goal that you’re going after and you have, let’s say, your mom or dad or sister or brother naysaying this goal of yours like that’s not worth it, it’s too risky, you can’t do it, there’s two questions you have to ask yourself. One is, “Has this person walked the path before me? Do they really understand what I’m doing?” If the answer is yes, then maybe it’s worth opening your ears and listening.

But oftentimes, the answer is no. Oftentimes, the answer is they’re just naysaying you because they’re scared for you. They’re fearful that you’re gonna hurt yourself. They’re fearful that you’re gonna fail. They themselves wouldn’t do the thing that you’re doing. They can’t put themselves in that situation. So you’ve gotta give yourself that perspective and realize that oftentimes, the reason they’re naysaying you is because they don’t believe in themselves. They don’t understand it the way you understand it. And so that’s an important thing.

And then you really have to ask yourself how important it is to you, like do you need everyone’s validation? And that’s tough because we’re social creatures, but there’s a lot of things that we do in our lives where again, we take things personally. We lean on others for the answers and a lot of times, we need to lean more on ourselves for those answers. We don’t need to be arguing with a spouse, we don’t need to be arguing with mom or dad or whoever. We need to look a little bit more to ourselves for the support that we need to take the next step. So it’s definitely a combination of both, and I agree with Angel that the communication once you’re ready to engage is important. You’ve gotta be patient, you’ve gotta be open, but you can’t be hanging on every word and taking everything so personally.

Katie: Do you guys have any rituals specifically related to your own marriage and to your relationship there?

Marc: We have tons of rituals.

Angel: I mean, one main one that just comes to mind is we definitely try not to go to bed angry. We talk whatever we need to get off our chest before we go to bed so that when we go to bed, when we wake up in the morning, we don’t have that resentment boiling in us. So we definitely try to communicate any unresolved issues before we go to bed.

Marc: Yeah, yeah. And we make the time to do that. So Angel and I have this ritual of taking a long walk on the beach and it’s only once every two weeks, but that’s enough. It’s like an hour and a half walk and it’s time that is not business. It’s not even personal. It’s time that’s just sort of there if there’s anything to say, and there to just enjoy each other’s company if there’s not. And so it’s a great time once every two weeks, like clockwork, to give us the opportunity to get anything that’s been unresolved, anything that…like any ideas. And it can be positive or negative, right?

Any ideas that we’ve had, like just extra stuff. And I think a lot of couples, and we were just like that, we didn’t have that extra time. We’d try to do date night and we’d force that or we’d be doing business. Angel and I are unique in that we do a lot of business and work together, client work together. But we didn’t have that kind of just time that was there for whatever, just kind of like space that was allowed to be whatever it was where new ideas and interesting conversations could arise. And I think that’s where a lot of communication, that’s where we resolve a lot through that ritual.

Angel: Yeah. I think it’s important to create that space where you can be in each other’s presence. It doesn’t have to be date night or something, but it’s also not talking about the kids or talking about work or shuffling things around and hashing out who’s responsible for what but just providing that space where you can be with each other to have the conversation about whatever needs to happen. I mean we’re very fortunate that after we drop our son off at school in the morning, we go to the gym and we work out together. So it’s like while we’re working out, if things come up, we’ll talk about them. That’s just time where we’re not forced to talk about anything, we don’t have a to-do list. We’re working out but we’re there together, so if things come up, we can talk about it right then and there.

Marc: Yeah, you’re right. That’s very similar to the walk. The workouts in the gym, we’re not always right next to each other but you’re right, same kind of situation for sure. So it’s a long way of saying create space for each other. Create space with each other without an agenda where great ideas and important conversations can surface.

Katie: I love that, like creating those small times makes probably such a huge difference. You guys have a New York Times bestseller, “Getting Back to Happy,” your first book, and that’s what you guys are kind of known for. I know I’ve seen you in the media for that many, many times and I hear from a lot of people who are working through anxiety and depression right now and it seems like either it’s on the rise or I’m hearing from a lot more people who have it. And so I’m curious for people who are in that phase, I know you’ve touched on it a little bit, but what are some of the specific things that people can do if they are there, whether it be lifestyle adjustments or mental shifts, to start those baby steps of moving out of that?

Marc: Yeah. We have touched on a little bit. I tell you one thing without a doubt, you know, the mind and the body are intrinsically connected and just getting your body moving if you’re not, getting yourself out of the house, but generally getting some level of exercise every single day is so vitally important when you’re in that phase. When the anxiety is high, when the depression is kind of bringing that dark cloud over your head, when you don’t see a way out and you just kind of feel like you’re on that treadmill, changing your environment is so important. I would highly recommend if you’re exercising, like the walk is a great way of doing it.

In fact, the first ritual we ever started was a walk down a boardwalk in San Diego in a neighborhood called Pacific Beach. That’s where we were living at the time when this season really hit heavy for us. And the first ritual, and it was through therapy that we came up with this idea is, we said, we need to break our cycle and that was literally the routine of our day. And so we made a pact to start leaving the house together. And again, we were not on speaking terms at this point. So we were very much at odds with each other, but we were living under the same roof and so that was the positive. And we decided we’ll leave every single day at noon for a walk down the boardwalk. It’ll be about a 35-minute walk down and back.

And when we get to the end, we’ll sit on this little grassy space and just share space with each other. Like that’s it. We don’t have to force conversation. We’ll just be in each other’s presence. And so we did that. And it was about a month of doing that. Now we’re getting exercise, we’re breaking up the routine, we’re out of the house, we’re not next to the alcohol, not next to the distractions that were unhealthy and we’re doing this thing where like we’re out there. And naturally, what did that do, is it gave us the space to have the conversations we needed to have. Not immediately, but about a month down the road is where the conversations came from.

And ultimately, a lot of the books that we read that we started writing about on marcandangel.com were done on that little green space at the end, which is a little green space off of Sail Bay in San Diego. So it’s a little bit of our story but that’s something like just breaking your cycle, getting outside, like combining the exercise with changing your environment when you’re in the thick of things can be so powerful.

Angel: And I mean change is extremely difficult as we all know, whether it’s a lifestyle change, a relationship change. When you are changing what your normal is, it can be extremely difficult. And so I think it’s important to accept what is, like to have that clarity of like controlling what you can control but also accepting the circumstances that you can’t control and just being present and letting go of being able to control things and manipulate things and just saying, “Okay, what is it that I can control? What can I not control?” And providing that space to be present and to accept where you are in this moment.

Katie: I think that’s huge. And that’s something I’ve recently in the last couple of years really gotten into reading a lot of stoicism back from Marcus Aurelius meditations all the way to some of the modern ones. And I think that’s, for me, been one of the most pivotal shifts in my own life is letting go of the things we can’t control because I’m self-admitted, very type A and probably a little bit OCD. And for a lot of years, I would try to control all the variables in my life and make sure everyone was happy and juggle everything. And making that shift into realizing what are the things we can actually control and the main one I read, in high school, I read Viktor Frankl’s “Man’s Search for Meaning” and I love so much his idea that even when everything else is taken away, we still have control over our own attitude and how we respond to situations.

And I think that’s actually, for me, at least the perfect place to start because that’s the one thing we are always perfectly in control over and can have ripple effects into the rest of our lives and our relationships if we learn to master our own attitude and our own response to things. So I’m curious, have you guys read any stoicism as part of your journey or has that been part of something you’ve come across?

Marc: No. “Man’s Search for Meaning” is a book I read many years ago and loved it. It’s definitely on the top of my list. Yeah. I think a lot of the principles of Eastern philosophy which Angel and I resonate with deeply, I mean we’re Christians, you know, our son goes to a Catholic school and yet we resonate deeply with Eastern philosophy as well. And I think it’s great to leverage all of that for your benefit and for the benefit of those around you. But I think a lot of that ties into stoicism, ties into this idea of letting go, of being very present, realizing that you can only control the battles of today. It’s when you are obsessing over the battles of yesterday and tomorrow that life gets overly complicated, and in some cases, impossible to deal with.

And so, dialing that back and bringing yourself back to this idea that life isn’t easy, right? I mean it can be a very difficult thing and we must accept that and embrace that in the present. That is the only way we’re gonna be able to take the next step, holding on to the idea that it should be different, holding on the idea that we need something other than what we have, is not gonna put us in a position to step forward.

Angel: And I’m very much like you, you know, type A personality. I like control. I like to control. I like to control everything. I like to plan things, I like to have an itinerary, and I like to, you know, even as far as relationships go and people, I think they should act a certain way or I should tell them when they should do things differently. And so that’s been a struggle for me too. Just to give you an example, a couple of years ago, we were recording the audio version of our book, “Getting Back to Happy” and we’re in the studio and there’s a director and a producer. So there’s someone listening in telling you when you need to articulate a word differently or change your tone. And I thought it was my job to tell Marc when I thought he needed to read something again or if he could have done it better and yeah, we had someone that was hired to tell us…

Marc: From Penguin.

Angel: …from Penguin, to tell us when we should reread it or change it or do this. In my head, I thought, “Oh, I need to tell Marc he should read that over. He could do that better.” And it’s like I really had to tell myself, it is not my job. And in that specific situation, it really wasn’t my job. There was a whole another person that was being paid to tell Marc when he should do it differently or if it was fine. And so that was eye-opening for me to realize that I think it’s my job to point things out to other people or if I think they should be doing it my way. And so it was a real eye-opener and that mantra, I keep in my head, like it is not my job. It is not my job to tell other people this or to point this out. It is not my…

Marc: Or to hold on to control, right? Because…

Angel: Yeah. I just need to control myself and worry about myself and worry about my abilities and not be so quick to point it out in other people or to think they should do things differently because I don’t have control over them and it’s not my job. It is not my job to worry about others and what they’re doing.

Marc: And that’s made you more supportive, which is interesting. The interesting part of that is by letting go of the need to control a situation, or the need to be right. In turn, you become more compassionate and you become in more service of this other person. So it doesn’t mean you’re no longer helping the people around you or not making great suggestions but you’re doing so in a way that doesn’t seem like an attack. It’s just fascinating, like it’s those little shifts that we make that make all the difference in the world.

Angel: But again, it’s constant learning. Like this just happened recently where I was like, it is not my job. Like repeat that to myself, it is not my job.

Katie: I love that. I’m right there with you. That’s a good one for me to keep in mind as well. You mentioned your son and you’ve mentioned a couple of times. And so I’d love to kind of go down the road a little bit of how can we foster these healthy mindsets in our kids from a young age because I think, for me, my story, it was a health journey where I got really sick with autoimmune disease and then researched my way out of it and eventually got better but as a mom, it’s very important to me to give my kids a really solid health foundation so that hopefully, they never have to face the things I faced.

Even though I’m so glad that I did have those challenges and I overcame them and they’ve been a huge part of my own journey, I don’t want my kids to have to go through that unless they really should have something in their life that happens that causes it like I did. So I’m curious, from the work that you guys do and now with your own son, how do you put things in place to give him a really healthy mindset from an early age?

Marc: I think presence is everything. I think Angel would agree with that. I mentioned that hour literally being on my wall calendar. It’s like a ritual that’s non-negotiable. And like oftentimes, it’s at least three hours a day. Angel and I spend a lot of time with him. We read with him, we do a lot of healthy things, but more importantly, we try to set the example. So it’s like when we talk about health, we wanna be out there on the playground with him. I think that’s a noticeable…something noticeable that we do differently. So we live in a little neighborhood in Jupiter, Florida. It’s a suburban neighborhood. Angel and I are often the only parents out on that playground actively playing with our children.

And I’m not saying anything bad about anyone else, but I’m saying it’s noticeable. We’re out there throwing the ball, running around, playing tag, we’re there, we’re in it. And it’s a small example of how we see our role as parents. You have to be there and you have to be in it, not just in your business but you have to be in the things that they’re interested in too. Because when you’re there and you’re a parent and yet you’re there to play and you’re there to engage, if you’re there for the fun times, when it gets more serious and the topics get more serious, they’re gonna notice, hey, they’ve sort of been here with me, listening to me, explaining things to me during all these other times that were great, it’s time for me to listen to my parents too.

You can’t only show up when it’s instruction time, I guess is what I’m trying to say. You’ve gotta be more present, you’ve gotta be more engaged, you’ve gotta be a parent and a friend. You’ve gotta have that relationship with your child. And that’s something that Angel and I practice daily and relentlessly and it’s a blessing.

Angel: Yeah. And I mean mental and emotional, helping him in that way, that’s tough because as a child, they’re learning how to react to their emotions, how to control their emotions. And so I think it’s good for Matt to see us have a disagreement and then we talk about it. Like we all get frustrated. Sometimes we get frustrated with each other and it’s okay to get frustrated and this is how to work through it and here’s how to talk about it. One thing I’m constantly repeating to him, and if he was here right now, he would tell you too, but whenever I see him getting frustrated and getting angry, I’m like, “Okay, repeat after me. Peace begins with me.” And we repeat that. And he gets frustrated and he’s like, “I’m not saying that. I don’t need to say it.” Because I tell it to him so often but I’m like, “When you get frustrated, it’s hard to control your emotions.”

Take a deep breath, say, peace begins with me, and let’s talk about it and see what you’re going through. And so we acknowledge that when you get mad and you get angry and you get frustrated, that all of these emotions are going on inside. So I don’t wanna ignore those and I tell him, we’re right there with you. We try to lead by example and say, “Hey, sometimes we get frustrated and this is how we feel and this is what we need to do and it’s okay to have a disagreement but you just need to talk it out and explain the situation.” So I think, yeah, when it comes to emotional and mental health with your children, I think it’s important to lead by example and to not think that everything is happy-go-lucky all the time, but that you have bad days too and it’s okay and to talk about it and not make it a secret.

Marc: I think we do a good job at that as well as like is being honest and open about the things that aren’t working for us, whether it’s something he’s doing or something that has nothing to do with him. If he asks, “Hey, like, what’s wrong?” Rather than just brush it off, we often explain. And again, he’s only five. So he’s young, but we bring it as much as we can to his level and we try to be honest and have those conversations. And through that honesty and that presence, he definitely takes lessons away and he understands things because we’ll hear it come back at us, which is always the greatest thing.

Angel: Yeah. When you hear your own words coming back at you through their mouth, it’s always…it makes me smile.

Marc: Yeah. We have a family motto that you were made to do hard things, just remind our kids, you know, push through in challenges. And they’ve heard me say that for a really long time and I’ve had it come back on me a couple of times. We were traveling a couple of years ago and we were at a Blue Hole in New Mexico and there was about I think like a 25-30 foot jump into the water and the water was like 50 degrees so it was cold anyway. And the kids all did it and I was like, “Good job, guys.” They were like, “Your turn, mom.” And I was like, “No, no, I’m good.” They were like, “Mom, you were made to do hard things.” And they would not let me not jump and I loved it but I was also a little terrified.

But I resonate so much with what you guys said. I think leading by example is one of the most powerful things, most powerful gifts we can give to our children truly. And especially, like you mentioned, let them see us fail at things, let them see that we don’t have perfect days so that they don’t have an expectation that that’s what they’re supposed to be when they grow up. And I realized that was a tough lesson for me a few years ago because one of my own childhood wounds that I struggled from and had to work through was the feeling of not being good enough. And I had really driven parents who held me to a really high standard and I’m grateful for that but I internalized very young that I wasn’t good enough at a lot of things or if I didn’t do things perfectly, that it wasn’t good enough.

And so because of that, my whole life, I was hesitant to do anything that I wasn’t already good at which is paradoxical, of course. And I started seeing that pattern in my kids and realized this is definitely not something I can talk them out of, but I need to be an example of overcoming that. And so the last few years, I’ve done things like take a voice lesson which was probably the scariest thing I’ve ever done, or learn to do handstands, things that I was naturally very not good at at the beginning, so that they could see me fail and work through that. And I think being the example of that is so much more powerful than just saying that to them, whether it’s in any aspect of life, whether you’re teaching good nutrition habits, whether you’re teaching good mindset, habits, or activity, anything. I know that old clichés but it’s so true. They see what we do so much more than what we say.

Angel: I love that. Absolutely.

Marc: Yeah, no question. And doing the hard things, that’s a motto of ours as well. I mean, yeah, it’s such a misconception, like we want things to be easy and yet, you know, in fact, one of my favorite books, “The Road Less Traveled” by M. Scott Peck starts with a line and it’s on one line. It just says, “Life is not easy.” That’s it. That’s the first line of the whole book. And I love that because the expectation we have oftentimes as parents, as human beings, as children at every walk in life is that this is gonna be easy. I should come out of this smiling. And that’s not the case. We have to do the hard things to be happy, the things nobody else can do for us, the things that make us question just how much harder and longer we can push forward.

Because at the end of the day, those are the things that ultimately define us. They’re the things that make the difference between existing and being in the space that we’re in and struggling and ultimately living and stepping forward. It’s the difference between empty promises to ourselves and a life that’s filled with more happiness and more possibility and more success. So the hard things, I mean you gotta do the hard things to be happy in life and it is such a lesson that we often forget and we overlook. And as children especially, I think we miss it entirely. So I love that that’s a motto in your family. That’s fantastic.

Angel: Yeah. The growth comes from the discomfort. A silly example was just this past weekend, we were in Connecticut staying close to the coast. We were like three houses down from the beach and we were on vacation celebrating Marc’s birthday and I wanted to go see the sunrise. And the first two mornings, I’m like, “Oh, no. This bed is so comfortable. I’m just gonna sleep in. And then on the last morning, I was like, “No, I’m gonna see the sunrise.” So I set the alarm. I got up, but did I wanna get up? No. I was enjoying the comfort of my bed but I knew I wanted to see the sunrise but I had to force myself. I had to do the discomfort and get out there and do it.

And oh my gosh, it was magnificent. Seeing the sunrise right there, it felt as though it was a show just for me and I loved it and it just made the rest of my day so wonderful. But it’s like that mantra of doing the hard things, doing the things that are uncomfortable, they can apply to the big things and to the little things. What are the things that you’re pushing off that you don’t wanna do but that’s what’s gonna give you the most reward.

Katie: I love that.

Katie: And from what I know of you guys, people often find you guys and come to you when they are going through big life transitions, like some of the ones we’ve talked about, when they have lost a loved one, or maybe you’re going through a relationship change or end of a relationship, or a job change, or any of those major stressors that we all face at different times in our life. So I’m curious for someone who is just finding you guys or any new listeners who aren’t familiar with you yet, where do you have them start? Where is a good springboard into the world of what you teach?

Marc: It depends on what the person is coming to us with. You’re definitely right, Katie, in saying that people come to us when they’re struggling, when they feel stuck. So the question is, is what is holding them up? Some of our clients, it’s relationship problems with family members. Some of them, it’s deep loss with the loss of a loved one. Sometimes, it’s just like the quarter life or midlife crisis, like I’m just at a point where I feel like I’m on that hamster wheel and I’m feeling terrible about it. So we definitely have to evaluate where they are. I don’t know if there’s a universal answer but I think we’ve discussed some of them already and it is making small shifts in a positive direction.

So it’s figuring out what are the current rituals. One thing we’ve mentioned, rituals and habits, but one of the things we take a quick look at is, what is it that you wanna change in your life? That’s a typical question you want. What isn’t working? What’s the thing in your life right now that you believe is not working? And what are the rituals that are leading to that situation? What are you doing? And yes, I understand that the loss of a loved one, major tragedy just happened in an instant, but once they happen, you know, yes, there’s an incredible amount of pain and suffering that comes from that, but a year later, two years later, if you’re feeling the same pain, it is not because that thing is happening again and again.

It is because you are doing things, you’re holding on to things, you are behaving in a way that is perpetuating it. And it’s a harsh thing to say. We’ve been there ourselves. And that’s a big example but the point is, is that the things we do daily once one of those big events happen, it’s those little things we do daily that either service it or take us further back. And so we say, you know, like what is this thing that you wanna change? How are you feeling? What is wrong? And what are the rituals that are supporting this feeling, this terrible feeling in you? And then, what does your ideal situation look like right now and what are the rituals that can get you from where you are to where you wanna be?

And so that’s kind of like a little framework, like a couple of questions of like what is it that you wanna change, what are the rituals that are supporting this problem that you’re in, what does the ideal situation look like and what are the rituals that can help you get from point A to point B? Of course, applying that to different people’s life situations takes you in completely different directions but it is a small framework I think that’s universally applicable.

Angel: Yeah. And then in addition to asking them what their rituals are that are supporting this change or keeping them stuck, is also having them question the thoughts that are surrounding this change and this lifestyle and this period in their life. So often, we are resisting what is and so if some of the thoughts going through our mind is it shouldn’t be like this, this is not how I planned it and it’s working…

Marc: And Katie mentioned one earlier, I’m not good enough.

Angel: Yeah, I’m not good enough.

Marc: I’m not good enough to take whatever this next step is.

Angel: But it’s like questioning the thoughts that are surrounded because so often, I mean 99% of the time, the majority of what we see first begins in our head. It’s how we’re thinking about it. So we have our clients question their thoughts, like asking the questions, is this all that is true? What you’re thinking about this situation that I’m not good enough or it shouldn’t be like this, it shouldn’t be this way, questioning that, is that all that is true, and then digging further into that, when I think this thought, how does that make me feel? And then…

Marc: Like who am I with that thought in my head going into any situation? How do I hold myself with a thought of I’m not good enough? Or how do I hold myself no matter what’s happening in front of me, if I feel like my life shouldn’t be this way? What does that do to my demeanor and my attitude? Who am I with that thought in my head?

Angel: And then even the question, you know, if I could never think this thought again, if I could completely remove this thought from my mind, what else would I see? If I could remove the thought that I’m not good enough, what else would you see if you can never think that thought again? Or if I could remove the thought, it shouldn’t be this way and I could never think that again, what else would you see? And so we definitely have people question their own thoughts because so often, we get this tunnel vision and we’re just seeing… I mean we’ve all been in those situations where there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. This is how it’s gonna be, it’s never gonna change. I can’t get out of this. And so we get stuck in that mentality, not realizing that there’s a bigger picture and there’s other perspectives that we’re overlooking because we’re so caught into that tunnel on that dark side.

And then also, what is the opposite of the thought and can you think of any examples that then support that thought? Like if you go back to your example, I’m not good enough, the opposite would be, I am good enough. I deserve to be here. And what are some examples that support that? And one that we always talk about is you’re a mother to your children. You are good enough because you are the only one that could be a mother to your children. Nobody else could fill your shoes and do a better job. And so it’s definitely having you question the thoughts that are going through your own mind because what we think we see, we ultimately become. So we need to challenge those thoughts.

Katie: That is so important. And I love that, asking better questions, because that’s something I’ve read in several books and heard about from therapists over the years is if you ask terrible questions, your brain will give you terrible answers. And if the questions you’re asking are like, “Oh, why can’t I lose weight or why can’t I do this or why is this so bad,” your brain is gonna find ways to explain to you why those things are and reinforce them. Whereas, I love your question, what is your ideal scenario? What is your ideal in the situation? Because then the brain starts working on that. Our brain is designed to answer questions and to connect dots and to find patterns.

So if you give it good, positive things to focus on, it’s amazing at that. That’s what we’re wired for. But so often, I think you’re right, we get stuck in those terrible questions and then we perpetuate that cycle. And I’ve also heard it explained almost like a filter of sorts. I know that’s an overused word with social media but like a mental filter where I know for me, at least, if I was in that place still where I didn’t feel like I was good enough, I would see examples that prove that everywhere I looked or like I would feel like someone was judging me or that I wasn’t performing well enough in someone’s facial expression, which truly like that might not have been… You know, they could have been having a bad day or could have had absolutely nothing to do with me, which is often the case. But when we’re in that mindset or we’re in that filter, we see examples that reinforce that everywhere even if they don’t exist. So I love that, like asking the opposite of the question and starting to make those shifts towards more positive questions. That’s beautiful.

Angel: Yeah. I mean one thought that I caught myself that I was constantly thinking and not even realizing it is that, you know, my sister is the most selfish person in the entire world. I was having all of this tension against my sister and I realized I was going into every situation with that thought at the forefront of my mind. And like you said, if that’s what you’re thinking, you’re gonna find it. You’re gonna point it out. So I was like, “There it is. Yep, there it is. Oh, I knew it. Gosh, she drives me nuts. Look at this. She’s always talking about herself. She’s always doing this.” But because I had that thought in my mind, I was able to point it out immediately in the entire time I was with her.

And so realizing that I was having that thought was eye-opening. It was like a slap in the face. And once I was able to recognize that and then say, “Okay, if I can never think this thought again, if I could remove that thought, what else do I see when I see my sister?” And all of a sudden, I saw a completely different person. She’s not the person of always being selfish. She is so much more than that. But I was just going into every single interaction with her with that thought. So that’s all I was seeing even though she has all these lovely characteristics that I love and care about. I mean she’s a part of me, she makes me laugh. And so it’s definitely challenging those thoughts and realizing if you’re constantly seeing something and it may first be beginning in your mind.

Marc: You were defining her entire character by one quality that she has, that she’s sometimes selfish. Sometimes we all are, right?

Angel: Yeah. And it’s not to say she’s not selfish but that’s not all that she is.

Marc: Well, it’s giving it a perspective you need, like having that perspective even with your sister. It doesn’t mean that your sister doesn’t sometimes do selfish things. It means, “Hey, you know what, let me give myself the perspective that I need to realize she does more than just the selfish things and that I can treat her like a whole human being that she is who has positives and negatives like we all do,” which ultimately increased your ability to communicate with her and improved your relationship. I think that’s what this…self-questioning is so important in the sense that as human beings, that’s what we have.

Katie, I mean you said it too. It’s like we sort of have this tunnel vision and we focus on the thing that drives us nuts and we look for evidence. We’re just narrowly focused on that one thing and we miss everything in the periphery. So when we start like questioning our thoughts, when we start saying like, is this the whole truth about this situation, how do I feel with this thought in my head? I mean who would I be without this thought? If this wasn’t my primary focus, what else would I see about this situation? What’s the opposite of this and can I find any truth in that? By doing that, we broaden our focus.

We get out of that tunnel vision and we start looking at everything in the periphery and we have all the data now and it takes time to get used to doing that. You have to do this as a ritual, like constantly kind of capturing your thoughts, maybe even writing them down and then going back later when you’re feeling calm and collected and saying, taking a look at these thoughts, like let’s take a look at what’s really going on in our head and heart during some of these high anxiety moments. We do this consistently and over time.

A few weeks, a few months down the road, you start having a better understanding of how you’re thinking, about how you’re reacting to these situations instead of more mindfully responding to them. And you get a better handle on yourself and that allows you to have better relationships, it allows you to feel better because you’re thinking better. You’re living better. But it doesn’t happen instantaneously. Like doing this once, saying, “Okay, I’m just gonna focus on my sister for a second,” doing this once, you can have a couple of ahas, but if you can really get into the habit of saying, okay, when I feel anxiety, if I have a thought, if I can catch myself and feel like oh my God, the anxiety is high, I’m feeling that way, that tension again, and just take 60 seconds to write down the thought, like do a raw brain dump, like what is in my mind at this moment, just get it down on a piece of paper in a safe place, then don’t self-evaluate in that moment.

Of course, the anxiety is high, the emotion is high, you can’t self-evaluate then. But tomorrow, next Sunday, when you have some time to dedicate to yourself, when you have some downtime and you’re feeling calm and collected, go back and look at some of those thoughts that you wrote down throughout the week during those high tension moments and put a more collective mindset on it. And that’s where you can kind of pick one of those thoughts out, read it to yourself, maybe chuckle, it probably won’t be rational. Oftentimes, when we’re high emotion and stressed, it’s not rational.

Tell yourself, “That’s totally okay.” But read it and apply some of these questions. Give yourself the logic, give yourself the perspective when your mind is calm and collected. And you do that again and again and that ultimately arms you to deal with it more in real time but it takes time to get there. And when you’ve seen it again and again and again, you’ll see the patterns and you’ll be able to better address those situations going forward. But it is a ritual like anything else. The more you practice it, the better you’ll get and it can be a blessing over time.

Katie: Yeah, I love it. It keeps going back to rituals and those small daily changes. And as we’re getting toward the end of our time, there’s a couple of questions I love to ask. The first being besides your own, and for those who aren’t familiar, you guys wrote “Getting Back to Happy” and “1000 Little Things.” Both of those are linked in the show notes but they’re available anywhere books are sold. But other than your own books, is there a book or a number of books that have really had a dramatic impact on your life? And if so, what are they and why?

Angel: I think, for me, one of the main ones that jumps out is “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel. That book was just extremely eye-opening to personal development and self-improvement and controlling the things that we can control and being present. It’s very simple but straightforward and I think it should be required reading. It’s a great…

Marc: It’s a great intro. It’s kind of a good quick inspiration intro to personal development. It was one of those first ones right at the beginning that we had picked up and both read. That’s a great one. We talked a lot about presence. I think “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle is a fantastic read. It’s not the most exciting read, but it kind of brings a lot of spiritual teachings down to how it relates to the present moment and how our true power to control our lives happens from one moment to the next. I think that also should be required reading. I think it’s universally applicable to any walk of life.

Katie: I love that. And where can people find you to learn more and stay in touch?

Angel: Yeah. They can find us on our blog, marcandangel.com and that’s Marc with a C. Also, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, just search Marc and Angel and you’ll find us.

Katie: Awesome. I love it. Thank you, guys, so much for being here, for being vulnerable, and for sharing today. This was such a fun episode.

Angel: Yeah. Thank you.

Marc: Thank you, Katie. We’re truly blessed to be here. Thank you.

Katie: And thanks to all of you for listening and for sharing your most valuable asset, your time, with all of us today. We’re so grateful that you did and I hope that you will join me again on the next episode of “The Wellness Mama Podcast.”

If you’re enjoying these interviews, would you please take two minutes to leave a rating or review on iTunes for me? Doing this helps more people to find the podcast, which means even more moms and families could benefit from the information. I really appreciate your time, and thanks as always for listening.

Source: https://wellnessmama.com/podcast/marc-angel-chernoff/

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anna-2807 · 5 years

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“Narcissist” is a big buzz word right now not only in the field of psychology, but across our entire culture. When you think of the word, I bet you immediately get a mental image of someone. It might be a politician, or a celebrity, or a professional athlete or coach. I find most of us have a very specific, very narrow, idea of what narcissism is and looks like – almost a caricature of it. Narcissism encompasses much more than just the overt, raging, grandiose, “I’m so wonderful” bully we may first imagine.

Narcissism is on a scale

The trait of narcissism falls across a spectrum. Imagine a scale of 0-10. Right in the middle of the scale, between 4-6, is where you’d find a healthy level of narcissism. Yes, there is a healthy level – someone who is equally aware of self and others.

The two ends of the spectrum are anything but healthy. At one end you have the 0’s and 1’s, those with no traits of narcissism, who have very low self-esteem, and no voice to speak up for themselves. Have you read The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein? The tree is a great example of a 0. To give and give to your own detriment is a toxic, unhealthy way to live. If the tree really loved the boy, he would have given him a few apples and then told him to plant the seeds and grow his own apples. Instead the tree created the perfect climate to breed a narcissist!

On the opposite end of the spectrum, you find the toxic, malignant personalities with oversized egos and a complete disregard for others’ feelings. Many would put a Donald Trump or Steve Jobs on this extreme end of the narcissism scale. And while that may be true, they certainly aren’t the only ones. Chances are each of us loves someone – either a spouse, parent, sibling or child – who falls beyond a healthy level of narcissism and is a “narcissist”. Here’s what to look for:

Characteristics of a Narcissist

Their generosity is conditional. Some say narcissists are selfish or stingy but that’s not always true. They can also be extremely generous with their time and money… when it’s convenient or makes them feel good. There is an underlying “WIIFM” (‘What’s in it for me?’) factor. Without the WIIFM, they have little or no interest. For example, consider the dad who makes a big production of taking his son to a football game, but will turn down the same son 99 out of 100 times when he asks to throw the football in the backyard because he can’t be bothered or isn’t interested.

They have an excessive need of admiration but are slow to hand out compliments. They want to be recognized and stroked whenever they do good but overlook, discount, or criticize the efforts of others – unless by noticing they will receive more admiration.

Their ‘Give vs Get’ is out of balance. They do not mind asking for favors, but they don’t grant them often. Or, if they do it’s done with complaining. I tell clients a narcissist won’t mind asking you for a kidney, but they’ll be put out if you interrupt their tv time to ask them to run to the grocery store.

When they tell stories, they’re always the hero or the victim, never the offender. They were always better than everyone else at X, worked harder than everyone at Y, or were taken advantage of by Z. They had to earn everything they’ve received in life while others had an easier road. Narcissists can be history revisionists. They have very selective memory and may say or do something outrageous and then not remember it or deny it.

They are easily angered and defensive. When you give them feedback, even if you do it well, the narcissist will respond as if attacked. And then they will attack back. As a result, they can end up isolated and their relationships starved for intimacy as loved ones may withdraw and stuff emotions to avoid potential conflict. Many narcissists rage, but not always.

They lack empathy, especially for those they love. You make them look good if you look good. If you are struggling with achievement of any kind, you make them look bad. I see this most often with narcissistic parents. Mothers who don’t like their daughters to leave the house unless they are perfectly dressed. They also don’t like their kids to be overweight or under-function in school. For dads, I see it with sports or other perceived masculine endeavors. A narcissistic parent gets angry or critical (“You are never going to amount to anything if…”) or contemptuous (“That’s exactly what I would expect of you.”) and provides little emotional comfort or support.

They are controlling. Narcissists have very specific ideas about exactly how and why things should be done and are upset when they aren’t. Sometimes it’s about the smallest of things – like how clothes should be folded – but they will feel justified in their opinion and even angry if you don’t comply.

They are often emotionally turbulent. They have big ups and downs. They do not easily self-soothe or regulate and want you to help them, often attacking you to feel better about themselves.

They have a time urgency issue. They do not like to run late, and they can’t stand to be made to wait. They can have an “I’m going to teach them a lesson” attitude. If the narcissist is the one running late, the same rules do not apply.

They can be physically abusive. It’s also important to remember emotional abuse often eventually translates to physical abuse if it goes unchecked.

They play by different rules. It’s okay if they misplace keys or leave their wallet in the car but they will label you as being as irresponsible for the same. They’ll make big decisions like quitting a job or buying a car and announce it after the fact but would be offended if you did the same.

They have false empathy. They can display what looks like empathy for a little while, especially if it makes them look good. But it usually doesn’t last long, especially once it interferes with what they want or need.

They cannot connect emotionally. But they think they do. They are often surprised to learn you are unhappy or feel disconnected from them. To them, connection looks like compliance and agreement.

They will look at this list and not see themselves. Don’t expect your loved one to read this list and feel convicted of their narcissistic ways. A narcissist has a distorted sense of self and will see others on this list, but not themselves.

If you’ve read through this list and recognize many of these traits in your loved one, chances are they are higher on the narcissism scale. While a narcissist can be very attractive and charming, being in relationship with one can bring many challenges. If you are in a relationship with one, you may have lots of questions like “Can a narcissist change?” or “How do I get along with a narcissist?” or “When is it time to leave?”. In the coming weeks I’m going to answer those questions and show you how not only to survive, but to thrive when dealing with a narcissist. If you are currently dealing with this situation in your life and would like customized support, please call us.

#narcissist #Couples Counseling #Marriage Counseling #Online Relationship Counseling #Online Relationship Coaching #Couples Coaching #Marriage Coaching Online #Relationship Intensives #Relationship Counseling for One #Marriage Counseling for One #Couples Counseling for One #3 Day Breaking Free Workshop #Trauma Workshop #Discernment Counseling #Premarital Counseling #The Marriage Place

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hisdressingroom · 5 years

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Top 7 Menswear Brands Every Guy Needs In Their Life

The world of Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Alexander McQueen, and Ted Baker doesn’t appeal to all men. At times, all that’s required are the basics, and the confident restraint to wear them. A mixture of minimalistic and trendy brands that every guys closet should have. Budget friendly is a must, while maintaining a fine style sense. Let’s get into some of the brands below that will elevate any guys wardrobe.

1. Topman

Price Point: $$$

us.topman.co

The amount of success this British giant achieve, it’s nearly impossible not to hear of this brand with it 400+ stores across the world. The minimalist brand is known for wardrobe-filler staples to meet the needs between students and office workers; Pieces like distressed denim, prints like floral shirts, bold colors, eclectic range of fabrics, however their range is predominantly based on noiseless basics to complete the job. It’s key essentials includes white shirts, plain weave trousers, and pared back accessories. The best important matter is, its great for men on a budget. Elevated basics shouldn’t break the bank and they do offer a good range of discount codes and student promotions year around. You can look smart and stylish without going in debt!

2. Nike

Price Point: $$$

nike.com/us/en_us/c/men

The world class athletic wear brand that dominates the athletic footwear industry. The ubiquitous brand has contracted with over 700 shops in the world. They offer athletic footwear, apparel, and equipment. Men tend to be more active and involved with sports and the gym life so it’s a no brainer that we need the proper gear for the certain activities we partake in. The best thing about Nike that they don’t just sell footwear and apparel, they mainly selling its functionality. Every different pair of footwear has a different purpose to serve and the same goes for apparel. Besides in the athletic world, there is a lifestyle side of Nike too. Their lifestyle segment rises as the athleisure style gets more trendy. Comfort, style, and durability all in one with their great assortment of sweat pants/shorts, sweaters/hoodies, sneakers, T-shirts, jackets, and accessories.

3. ASOS

Price Point: $$$

us.asos.com/men/

This London-based retailer offering quality casual clothing at very competitive prices. As an online retailer, they are committed to offering its consumers the latest trends, and continually offers between 2,500 and 7,000 new items every week. ASOS offers countless brands, some you may not even heard of and in response to the athleisure trend they also offer Under Armour, Nike, Puma, Nike Running, Nike Training followed by Adidas and Reebok. One of the best quality about ASOS is that it’s not about being the cheapest. You can mix low with high because of their wide range of branded goods at different price-points. They sometimes have stand-out, exclusive products which can’t be found anywhere else, reason enough for men to shop here.

4. G-Star

Price Point: $$$

g-star.com

Influenced by military clothing, G-Star is generally focused on denim. They do frequently work with designers who make exclusive and limited-edition products for/in collaboration with G-Star & they also sell shoes, belts, coats and more. Anyone who experience having same clothes in your closet for a long period of time, it starts to become boring to you and because of the washing effect, it feels like the denim “grows” with you. In this case, G-Star denim stays in the same perfect shape and condition as if you first bought it. Any men looking for cool unwashed, untreated denim to own for years to come, G-star is your guy.

5. J.Crew Factory

Price Point: $$

factory.jcrew.com

Unlike some outlet-oriented versions of popular retailers, J.Crew Factory isn’t merely the irregular or out-of-season rejects from its more upscale parent company. It's a brand of its own with an own unique line that shares J.Crew’s sophisticated aesthetic and decent quality with accessible prices every day. They keep a close eye on fashion trends, with a vast selection that includes plaid shirts for less than $30 and slim cut suits for less than $300. Sales are reguarly for 50% off and higher. Can’t beat that!

6. H&M

Price Point: $

hm.com

H&M exemplifies the “fast fashion” philosophy for mainstream consumers to achieve runway looks, often through collaborations with designers like Kenzo, Alexander Wang, and Balmain. The quality varies so have it archived below your top priority brands when you want to dress to impress. You can never have too many of $7 shirts in any color of the color wheel. H&M gives their customers the opportunity to explore different modern looks. It’s always a great option for any last minute shopping due to its budget friendliness and accessibility.

7. Macy’s

Price Point: $$$

macys.com

With over 700 stores in the United States, Macy’s doesn’t require an introduction. We know they have a wide range of quality products it offers. You can find designer apparel for less than $200... even less than $100! Yes Believe it (I bought a metallic Michael Kors jacket for $70, original price was $250). Also Macy’s does alterations so if something is off, spend a little extra to have it professionally tailored which makes something ten times worth than what you originally paid for!

That concludes the top 7 menswear brands that every guy needs to shop. If you want to be fashion forward, and have a very clean aesthetic, these are you’re go to’s! Even if you just want brands to be loyal to for now, these are great options to start at.

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lesbianlametron · 7 years

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Bokuroo Week Day 4

Prompt: Improvising

Title: Spontaneous Saturday

Rating: T

Summary: Bokuto wakes up Kuroo one Saturday in the summer for a day trip together. They had both been busy lately with their respective jobs and Bokuto is dying for time alone with Kuroo. He packs a bag, but other than that he has no plans. Kuroo’s just along for the ride. Graphic designer!Kuroo, P.E. Teacher!Bokuto Post-college, married, domesticated fluff.

Kuroo was sleeping as he should be for it being barely seven-thirty am and he was content to keep it that way. His arm flopped over to the other side of the bed, blindly searching for his husband, but was only met with empty sheets. He groaned when he rolled over and looked at the time. It was way early and he was looking forward to a lazy Saturday morning in bed. Then again, that wasn’t Bokuto’s style. He was up at the crack of dawn, happy and energetic as ever. Bokuto, like Kuroo, also was a complete night owl and would stay up into the early morning just talking or partying. Because of this, Bokuto was super fond of afternoon naps. That fact always made Kuroo laugh and joke that Bokuto was secretly still a baby at twenty-six years old. Well, no matter if Bokuto was awake, Kuroo was still planning on sleeping until at least eleven.

Bokuto walked into their room, his hair still damp from the shower, with a towel around his waist. “Tetsu~ time to get up.” He called out to his husband in a soft voice.

“No. It’s seven-thirty and a Saturday and it’s summer. Fuck you.”

Bokuto chuckled, not even a bit fazed by Kuroo’s animosity. He was used to his by now. “Good morning to you too, love. Come on, I want to do something fun today. We’ve both busy with work and I want to have a date day.”

“We can, but just later.” Kuroo mumbled into his pillow, trying to hide his smile. It was sweet that Bokuto wanted the two of them to spend the day together. Kuroo had been working late nights and Bokuto was always gone when he woke up in morning. His company had just finished a big ad campaign that he had to do all the graphic designing for, being the team’s lead designer. Today was the first Saturday in a while that Kuroo wasn’t working on a project.

“Awww, come on, we’re going to get breakfast. I made you coffee~.”

“Still no.”

“TETSU, you love breakfast!”

“Stop shouting…”

“Don’t make me force you to wake up.” Bokuto warned as he pulled on a pair of shorts.

“Go ahead and try.”

Bokuto chuckled to himself and walked over to bed. He grabbed a hold of the comforter and sheets. Before Kuroo could think of fighting back, Bokuto ripped the covers off the bed. “Rise and shine, my beautiful Tetsu.”

“I hate you.”

Bokuto crawled on top of him and leaned down giving him a soft, sensual kiss.

“I hate you a little less.” Kuroo’s eyes were still closed as Bokuto peppered his face with tiny kisses that tickled his cheeks. Kuroo weakly tried to push him away.

“I promise you’ll have fun today. Come on, please, indulge me. Tomorrow, we’ll do whatever you want.”

Kuroo groaned and sat up. “Fine, I’m up. And if I don’t have fun today, I’m blaming you.”

Bokuto slid off the bed and placed a mug of coffee into Kuroo’s hands. “I love you.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Kuroo murmured before taking a long, slow sip, more to enjoy the coffee, but a little in protest against Bokuto.

“I love you.”

“I know, I’m up.”

“I love you.”

Kuroo rolled his eyes catching on that Bokuto wouldn’t stop until he said it back. “I love you too, you goof.”

Bokuto grinned at him and Kuroo nearly felt like he needed sunglasses to shield him from the brightness. “Good, now go shower.”

Kuroo grumbled more as he got up and wandered into the bathroom. As much as he hated waking up, he knew Bokuto was right, whatever Bokuto had planned, it would be fun. He took a couple long gulps of coffee before stepping into the warm spray. The coffee combined with the shower was starting to wake him up. He’d still need another cup at breakfast to be fully functional, but this would at least get him awake enough to get into Bokuto’s car.

When he walked back into the bedroom he saw Bokuto packing a bag that included both athletic shows and swimsuits. “Are we going to the beach?”

Bokuto shrugged and put a couple towels into the bag. “Maybe. I haven’t figured that out yet.”

“Then what are we doing?”

“Improvising.”

Kuroo shook his head and rummaged through his drawers for shorts and a tank top. “Is it hot out?”

“Mmhm. It’s supposed to be today.” Bokuto turned around to face Kuroo and slipped a pair of sunglasses onto his head. “I remember you broke yours so I went out and got you a pair.”

Bokuto had turned around so he didn’t catch the fond smile that spread across Kuroo’s face. Bokuto really did think of everything and did sweet things for the ones he cared about without even thinking twice. Kuroo dressed and walked up behind Bokuto and pressed a kiss onto Bokuto’s shoulder. “Thank you.”

“Of course. You ready?”

“Mmhm.”

Bokuto slung the duffle over his should and took Kuroo’s hand, leading him out the door. “So we really have no plans?” Kuroo asked as he slid into the passenger seat.

“Beyond breakfast, nope. I thought it’d be kinda fun just to drive and stop when we felt like it and do whatever we come across.” Bokuto shrugged again as he started driving them to their favorite breakfast place. It annoyed Kuroo a bit not to have a plan, but he trusted his boyfriend. Bokuto would occasionally get into these moods where he was feeling completely spontaneous and Kuroo would just strap himself in for the ride. Sometimes it was nice to just not have to think everything out for once. Plus, whatever happened, would probably make a killer story to tell their friends later.

Bokuto pulled into a parking space and led Kuroo into restaurant. Kuroo was still sleepy and hanging heavily on Bokuto’s arm. There was almost nothing more endearing to Bokuto than a tired Kuroo. It was part of the reason he woke Kuroo up sometimes. He hardly felt like walking because of his lack of engery and was very clingy. They sat down together and ordered food. Kuroo was quiet as he usually was before his second cup of coffee, but it didn’t bother Bokuto in the slightest.

“Dude, we started a volleyball unit this week.” Bokuto started, always filled with stories from his work. In the summers, when school wasn’t in session Bokuto ran a recreation program during the days to promote kids getting into sports. He loved the kids in his normal classes, but these kids actually wanted to be there. Well, there were some that their moms forced them because they worked during the day.

Kuroo looked up from his coffee and smiled. He was glad Bokuto was able to still be involved with volleyball. It surprised both of them, but teaching P.E. and sports gave him almost as much joy as playing used to. He knew Bokuto missed it, they both did, but stopped playing after college. Bokuto could have gone pro, but fell in love with teaching grade school P.E. Kuroo never really wanted to go pro and loved his job too. “Oh yeah? I bet you’re excited about that.”

“It’s the best! There’s this kid there, a 5th grader, he’s like the baby version of Hinata.” Bokuto had to pause to hold back his laughter. Kuroo knew it had probably had to be something with the kid getting hit because Bokuto wanted to laugh, but knew he shouldn’t. “I swear this kid is like a ball magnet. I’m trying to teach him how to receive, but the kid always manages to get hit in the face. Even when he’s not playing. It takes all my restraint not to laugh along with the kids.”

Kuroo chuckled a little and started eating his pancakes when they came. Bokuto French toast because they each loved both and never could choose one. He plated his second pancake for Bokuto and Bokuto did that with his as well. This was a tradition between them and Bokuto was a complete sap and it always made him smile. “I bet he’s nearly as tall as Shrimpy when he was in high school.”

Bokuto snorted and nodded. “He is. Kageyama was sad when Hinata finally grew taller in college, I think he had a thing for their height difference. They’re close to the same height now.”

“Oh yeah, you went in saw their game last weekend when I was working. The Toyko team is in the finals this year, right?” Bokuto had more free time than Kuroo, especially in the summers, and was also better at keeping in touch with their friends than Kuroo was. Kuroo kept in touch with Tsukishima, Kenma, and Akaashi mostly, but Bokuto was always seeing the friends outside of their direct circle.

“Mmhm.” He murmured with his mouth full and Kuroo rolled his eyes. He was about to scold his boyfriend, but Bokuto remembered to swallow before finishing his sentence. “Hinata was great as ‘The Little Giant 2.0’, but he’s a ton better now that he’s got the height on him. Kags still has a few inches on him, but the kid can still jump like no other. I don’t know how the kid still has all the energy.”

Kuroo chuckled a little. “I bet you could rival him there, you’re inhuman in the mornings.”

Bokuto laughed as well, “Maybe, but shit, I’m old now.”

“Babe, don’t say that because then I’m old too.”

Bokuto finished eating and grinned cheekily at him. “Babe, we’ve been out of college for 4 years now.”

“Don’t!”

Bokuto laughed as Kuroo glared at him over his last few bites. “You’ll always be sexy to me, Tetsu, no matter how old you get.” He leaned across the tabled and motioned for Kuroo to come closer. Kuroo rolled his eyes and met Bokuto halfway for a kick peck.

“You loser. I don’t think you’ll be saying when I’m 80 and wrinkly.”

“Yes, I will because I’ll be the same and you’ll still love me.”

Kuroo pursed his lips together and rubbed his chin, being over dramatic with thinking about it. “I don’t know…I’m really only with you because of your body.”

“Uh huh. I’m sure it was my body that kept us together for eight years.”

“Yeah in seven I’m going to divorce you for a younger hotter version.” Kuroo grinned and nodded to the bill sitting on the table between them. “Oh, and you’re paying for waking me up early.”

“I thought by now you’d be used to getting up early and I was already planning on it.”

“No, I’ll never become a morning person, I’ve just learned how to cope with them.”

“Mornings are not a disease, love.” Bokuto chuckled and took his card up to register to pay and Kuroo followed after, only holding his hand this time. His second cup had woken him up a little more and he was more coherent.

“Says you.” Bokuto shook his head and kissed Kuroo’s hand. They walked back to the car content from their breakfast. Bokuto was eager to start their journey and Kuroo still thought it was too early.

“Okay pick a direction, and we’ll go.”

“You’re really serious about this.” Kuroo raise an eyebrow at him.

“I’m keeping things interesting, darling. We’re going to have adventures well into the future.”

Kuroo played with his ring absently as the thought, “Okay, East, but can you even go East without a GPS?”

Bokuto stuck his tongue out. “You’re mean, Tetsu.”

“I’m keeping things interesting.” Kuroo mocked him with a smirk. “I can’t be too nice to you and make you think that I actually like you.”

“Uh huh. Besides, my car tells me cardinal directions anyway.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that.”

Bokuto playfully shoved his shoulder and put the car in drive. “East, it is. Keep your eyes open. I know you can sleep anywhere, kitten, but I want your participation in this.”

“Ughhhhh… but I was totally planning on napping for a little while.” Kuroo groaned, teasing him. The coffee would keep him up now. He was already up now, it wasn’t being up in the morning that really bothered him, but the act of actually waking up and starting the day. “Fiiiiiiiine and knowing you, we’ll probably be taking a nap mid-day, you old owl.” Bokuto glared at him out the corner of his eye. “That’s what you get for calling me kitten.”

“Aw come, it had to do with the cat reference.” Bokuto grinned and turned on the radio. “Just tell when you see somewhere you want to stop.” They drove for a few miles, leaving the city behind and both were singing along with the radio. Bokuto’s voice did not match the tune and was louder. Kuroo actually could match the pitch, but he wasn’t actually confident in his singing voice. Eventually they came across a little town and Bokuto pointed out a foreign movie theater.

“Let’s go.”

Kuroo raised an eyebrow. “You’re aware we’re not going to understand any of it if they don’t have subtitles.”

Bokuto shrugged. “I thought it would be funnier to make up the lines ourselves.” He pulled into a parking space and quickly got out. Kuroo shrugged and followed him. It did sound pretty entertaining.

“As long as you buy me popcorn, I’m up for anything.”

“You say that like it really matters. What’s mine is yours.”

“It does, because I make more than you.”

Bokuto glared at him. “Mean. It’s not my fault, teachers aren’t payed as much as they deserve.”

Kuroo wrapped an arm around Bokuto’s waist and kissed his cheek. “True, you’re great at what you do and you do deserve more.” With the promised popcorn, they sat in the very last row so they wouldn’t annoy every as much with their whispering.

“You better not fall asleep, Tetsu.”

Kuroo squeezed his shoulder and nodded. “I promise.” The lights dimmed and the movie started without subtitles like they had thought.

“What language do you think it’s in?” Bokuto whispered.

Kuroo actually took the question seriously. If it was Spanish, Italian, or Portuguese, it would be hard to distinguish between them because he knew they were similar. It didn’t seem like any of those. “I’d guess German or Swedish.”

Bokuto chuckled a little. “You took that seriously. I should have known.”

“Of course. That was actually a logical question.”

“Okay, I’ll be the male lead and you could be the female.”

Kuroo narrowed his eyes and stole the popcorn away from him. “Why do I have to be the girl?”

“Cuz we both know you’re the girlier one. You have such a beautiful slender frame, babe.”

“I’m leaving.”

Bokuto kissed his cheek. “Good luck getting home.”

“I could afford an Uber.”

“Will you play along?”

Kuroo sighed and scooted closer to his husband again. “All right. Your line.”

“Giiiiirl I see you there looking all fine.” Bokuto whispered as the main character saw the lead female for the first time.

“How dare you! I’m not some piece of ass for you salivate over.”

Bokuto covered his mouth so he wouldn’t laugh louder than he anticipated. He was at least trying not to piss off the few other people that were watching. “You really went there.”

“Uh of course, babe, you can’t just objectify women like that. They have rights.”

“Well,” Bokuto continued in a whisper with the character’s line. “I am the richest most eligible bachelor in town. You’d be lucky to have me.”

“You act like that will make up for your terrible personality.” The continued with the lines, Kuroo was the most committed, adding voices for the new characters that entered. Bokuto had to contain his laughter which each new voice Kuroo added and still keeping his voice low enough not to annoy everyone. Like most romantic dramas, it ended with the couple getting together and most of the conflict had been resolved. They understood that much at least. Kuroo placed his hand on his chest to deliver his last impactful line.

“Just so you know, this kiss means nothing. I still hate your personality. You tried to change, but you never fully got there. This will by my goodbye to you.”

Bokuto took Kuroo’s free hand and looked him in the eye. “Please, Sarah, I need you. You make me a better person.”

“Sorry, I’m a lesbian.” Kuroo delivered his line and Bokuto laughed, letting himself fully laugh now that credits were rolling. They got weird looks from the couple a few rows in front of them. “Apparently that wasn’t an ending you should have laughed at.”

Bokuto shrugged. “Oh well. I liked our version better and of course you wouldn’t make it a happy ending.”

“Duh. That would have been boring.”

“Your lesbian ending did catch me off guard. Especially because the guy kissed her again after that line.”

“That’s what made it perfect.” They stood up and excited the theater. “What next?”

“Probably lunch of some sort?”

Kuroo shrugged. “Sounds good. We should pick something up here and drive somewhere to have a picnic.”

“I’m down.”

After lunch and a quick nap under an oak tree, they drove until it neared sunset. They talked, laughed, and sung along with the radio to their favorite songs. Kuroo couldn’t remember the last time he felt this relaxed. It was definitely what he needed after the month he’d had at work. Bokuto had been happy because it was summer, but Kuroo could tell that Bokuto was happier today than he had been in a while. He knew Bokuto got lonely when he worked a lot.

“Hey, Kou.”

“Hm?”

“Thank you for today.”

Bokuto reached over and took Kuroo’s hand, kissing Kuroo’s wedding ring. “Of course.”

“No, I mean it. I really got lucky with you. I hope we do grow old and we still have days like this.” Kuroo squeezed Bokuto’s hand and smiled warmly at him. “I know I’ve been working at lot and that’s hard on you. Sometimes I still can’t believe the days we go without seeing each other still make you so sad. It makes me happy to know you love being around me that much. I promise, at least once a month, we’ll have designated Kou and Testu days.”

“Tetsu…Hey! We made it to the beach. Did you know going East would eventually bring us to the beach?”

Kuroo shook his head. “Honestly no.”

“Let’s go watch the sunset.”

“That’s such a cliché date move.”

“But you want to?”

“Hell yeah.” Kuroo took off his shoes as the car came to a stop. He ran off to get his feet in the sand as soon as possible. There wasn’t much Kuroo loved more than beach and of course Bokuto. Although he didn’t show it much, work stressed him out. He never wanted to put that on Bokuto. Nothing calmed like the sound of the crashing waves and the gritty sand between his toes.

Bokuto smiled and watched his husband running ahead. Kuroo didn’t have to tell him, he knew anyway. The beach was just what he needed to fully relax. He grabbed their towels and spread them out close to the water. He sat down first and patted the space beside him. Kuroo sat down and Bokuto started rubbing his shoulders. He sighed and closed his eyes, focusing on Bokuto’s fingers as he worked out all hard spaces of tension.

“Tetsu. I’m glad we did this too. I know you needed it as much as I wanted it. You can come to me when you’re stressed. I know even when you don’t tell me. Your texts are shorter and you leave your clothes on the floor more often. You stay up later and sit on our balcony when you think I’m asleep, but I leave you alone because I don’t want disturb you.”

Kuroo smiled and looked up at the sky. “You’re right, I’m sorry. And please come bother me if you’re up. Sometimes I can’t shut off my brain.”

“I know, baby.”

“Do you want to rent out a suite somewhere just for the night? We could go crazy on the stupid overpriced snacks in the room.”

Bokuto hugged Kuroo around the middle when he finished the massage. “Definitely. I want to make at least one more stop before that though.”

“Okay.” They sat and watched the sunset, neither speaking because they didn’t need to. As much as they loved talking, the silences between them were just as welcome. They took in the colors of the sunset and watched the sun’s light bounce off the gentle waves. Both let all the tension leave their bodies. For that moment, everything was perfect.

Bokuto pressed kisses onto Kuroo’s neck, each meaning something a little different. The long ones told him, he was loved and cherished. The short ones said ‘sometimes I just like how my lips feel against your skin’. The ones with tongue and teeth said, ‘I find you sexier and prettier than anyone’. Bokuto didn’t need to put them into real words, Kuroo understood anyway. They had always been like that, more alike than different. Kenma may have known Kuroo longer and Akaashi may have had the perfect formula to bring Bokuto out of one of his moods. But no one could read their thoughts without words like they could for each other. No one else had their bond or could deal with their strange tangents. They weren’t perfect, but no couple could ever be.

With the windows, down they drove away from the beach and listened sounds of the new town they were in. Both waiting for something that would catch their attention. Bokuto heard it first. There was a bar down the street with live music. “Let’s end the day there, have a drink and listen to some music.”

“Sounds good.”

Bokuto parked the car and they walked hand-in-hand into the bar. When they entered the main room, they realized it wasn’t just live music but an open mic night. Bokuto looked at Kuroo and his eyes sparkled with an idea.

“No.” Kuroo protested, before Bokuto could even ask.

“But your voice is so pretty, Tetsu.”

“No. It’s for you only.” Kuroo walked up to the bar, finding it a perfect excuse to physically leave their conversation. He bought them both drinks and joined Bokuto at their table. He knew Bokuto wasn’t going to let it go. He had just pulled out the puppy dog eyes. “No.”

“Baaabe! For me?”

“You think you can just bat your pretty gold eyes at me and say ‘for me’ and I’ll do anything.” Kuroo glared at him, but he already felt his resolve slipping.

Bokuto didn’t waver with his pleading eyes even when he took sips of his drink. “I know you write songs occasionally. You’re really poetic when you want to be.”

“I don’t even have my guitar. Hah. That was the one thing you didn’t plan for…” Kuroo thought about it for a minute. He had been too tired this morning to see what Bokuto had really packed in the car. His guitar really could be in the car. “You didn’t!”

Bokuto grinned dangerously and Kuroo’s face paled. “I thought maybe I’d get you to play for me at one point.”

“I hate you again.”

“Stay right there.”

“Kou!” Kuroo protested and groaned as Bokuto ran out to the car. He was doomed. Bokuto came back with a smug look on his face and went to talk to the owner instead of coming directly back to the table.

“You’re on in ten, babe. After the next two.” Bokuto took his seat next to Kuroo and gave him a kiss.

“If they boo me off the stage, I’m blaming you and then divorcing you.”

“And people say I’m the over dramatic one.”

“You better get me another drink.”

Bokuto laughed and waved the waitress over for refills. “I know you’ll be great.”

Kuroo watched the next two acts. The first one wasn’t bad, a little pitchy at times, but her piano skills were fantastic. The second was amazing and Kuroo could feel his palms start to sweat. People were cheering and clapping along through the whole song. The applause was loud and Kuroo glared at Bokuto.

“I know you’ll rock it. Take a deep breath, you’re on, kitten.” Bokuto winked at him and pushed him toward the stage.

Kuroo situated himself and tried not think about tripping on the stage. “Well,” he addressed the audience. “I’m only here because my ass of husband convinced me. And because it’s the anniversary of when we originally started dating.”

Bokuto gasped and his eyes went wide in surprised. “BABE! I thought you forgot.”

“Never. Just because it isn’t our wedding anniversary doesn’t mean I’d forgot the way you asked me out at training camp. You were a blushing, stuttering mess and I was just as in love with you then as I am now eight years later, if not more so. This one is for you.”

The crowd clapped politely and a few girls had cooed at their words. Kuroo closed his eyes and started his song. It was an original and the words took Bokuto’s breath away. Kuroo knew how to write the notes within his range, but his lyrics are what really sold the song. They were romantic and bordered on being cheesy. It was their story in song from. Kuroo eventually opened his eyes, but he only focused on Bokuto. The couple of times Kuroo would switch into his falsetto, Bokuto got chills. It was as if Kuroo was only singing to him, but other people finally got hear Kuroo’s gift.

Kuroo took a bow when he finished and the applause was the loudest it had been all night. Kuroo was blushing, but he was pleasantly surprised by the reaction. “I told you, you were good.” Bokuto kissed him when he returned. Kuroo pulled his husband close, not caring that they were in public. He was still riding on the adrenaline from the performance and kissed Bokuto will all his pent up engery. It was the hottest kiss they had in a while.

“I think we have our winner!” The owner over the microphone and Bokuto and Kuroo separated in surprise. He was pointed directly at them and they both stared at each other in surprise.

“There was a contest?”

“I suppose so, go up there, champ.”

Kuroo went back on stage, blushing again. Bokuto had always been the one who drew attention, he was the ace in high school and college. People always raved about Bokuto’s abilities, that Kuroo wasn’t used to the attention being on him. He didn’t care because he would agree with them.

“Congratulations, you’ve won a full spa package at the hotel next door for you and a partner.”

Kuroo looked out to Bokuto and they grinned. Today would definitely being going in Bokuto’s journal. He hoped Kuroo didn’t know about it, but when they were gray and old he didn’t want to forget anything. He wrote down their adventures so he could keep them forever. They saw a foreign film they didn’t understand, had a picnic lunch, enjoyed a sunset, and now they’d won a free spa package by accident. All they needed was something unbelievably wild to happen, but maybe next time.

#bokuroo week #bokuroo week 2017 #haikyuu!!#bokuroo #improvising #this is late again #i'm trying to work around my school schedule #will eventually be uploaded to AO3 #barely edited #sorry about that #my writing

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