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filwld · 3 years

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You shine just as bright.

Summary: you go star gazing with Alcina and have a sweet moment together. Warnings: Fluff (:<

(THE NSFW FIC IS STILL IN THE WORKS IM A PERFECTIONIST AND LIKE IT TO BE PERFECT SO UNTIL THEN HERE!)

Castle Dimitrescu was so beautiful at night. The way the moon light would shine through the windows would bring you so much joy, naturally you were happy but you had this sort of connection with the night since you were a mere child that you just couldn't explain.

Staring up into the night sky you smile softly letting out a relaxed sigh, shoulders relaxing releasing all the tension from your body. You sip your tea while sitting on the open window seal feeling the cold breeze go against your skin, it was a summer night so you knew it wasn't to cold for the girls just in case they barged in. You often found yourself like this in the library at night. Just sitting, staring up at the moon waiting for your lover to be done with her work, sometimes you consider bringing her with you to stare at the moon but always choosing otherwise because you don't want to bother her with your silly interest in the night scared that she might laugh at you. You knew deep down that, that statement was far from true. Alcina would never laugh at you over something that brings you joy but that didn't stop your insecurities from flooding your mind. Sighing you look down staring into the teacup that was now almost empty. You twirl the cup watching the liquid swirl inside, you were so caught up in your own thoughts that you didn't even notice Alcina had entered the room and called your name softly which goes unnoticed by you to far lost in your own head. So.. Alcina just admired you smiling softly. The way the moonlight showered on your skin, and the light making your eyes shine a little brighter than normal.. She couldn't help but feel her undead heart beat once more, all for you. All for her little maiden. All hers. You finally noticed her and let out a surprised yelp jumping slightly and putting a hand over your heart breathing heavily. "Jesus! My love you must say something before sneaking up on me like that." You breath out after taking a few deep breathes to try and calm your racing heart. Alcina chuckles walking over to you with a few large strides due to her long legs. "I'm sorry for frightening you little one but I did call out to you.. But you were to caught up in thoughts to notice. Is everything alright?" Alcina asks you softly while moving a strand of hair out of your face smiling down at you softly before taking a seat beside you on the window seal luckily being one of the bigger windows she didn't have to worry about her size causing any discomfort. You lean into her touch smiling while putting your hand over hers staring up into her eyes loving the way the moonlight danced on her face. "Yes dear I'm alright just.. Relaxing simply." You answer her question and love the way she visibly relaxes and smiles down at you. You chuckle to yourself. Alcina raises an eyebrow. "What's so funny draga mea?" You shake your head smiling, before answering her. "Just thinking about how adorable you are." You watch her eyes widen slightly before chuckling lifting her hand from your cheek to your hair petting you gently. "You are the only one to ever refer to me as 'adorable' but ill take it if its coming from you." Alcina says chuckling. You smile shaking your head before returning to look at the moon. Out of the corner of your eye you see her follow your gaze before looking back at you. "Star gazing tonight little dove?" You hum to the question, drinking the rest of the tea before setting the cup down onto your lap without turning to her you respond. "I do this every night." You could tell she was shocked and slightly annoyed that she didn't know this. Alcina always prided herself in the fact that she knew everything that happens in the castle so hearing that there was something she didn't know obviously bothered her. "What? How have I never notice this? Draga mea why didn't you ever tell me." Alcina responds, you smile at the annoyance in her voice. Turning to face her you see the annoyance in her eyes, but mostly shock. You take the hand that was rested in her lap and placing it on your own. "Darling take no offense to this, I just simply didn't think it would matter to you.” You respond watching as Alcina's eyebrows furrowed and she pouted slightly grumbling out. "Everything about you matters to me pet.." You

can't stop the wide grin that appears on your face at the sight of her pout. You lean up to kiss her softly placing a hand on her cheek, she sighs softly into your mouth moving both of her hands to grab your waist and place you on her lap bringing you as close as physically possible.

You giggle at her face as you pull away, moving to caress the side of her head staring deeply into her eyes. "Alright dear I'm sorry, but now you know. So why don't we stay here awhile and enjoy the moonlight together?”

You ask her watching as her pout disappears and here comes her charming smile that made you weak in the knees. She hums running a hand up and down your side loving the warmth that radiates off your body. "Yes.. let's, but before we do that I have to show you something." before you could protest your picked up bridal style and being taken to wherever she see's fit. She begins walking you down a hallway that you've never seen before, furrowing your eyebrows wondering how you've never seen this part of the castle even after all these years of being here. not soon later you reach a door leading to outside you assume by the handle, you watch as she pushes the door open with one hand, the other holding you close to her chest. You gasp at the sight behind the door, there in front of you was the most beautiful garden you've ever seen, all type of flowers going from roses to peony to even hibiscus flowers! All blooming beautifully under the moonlight.. In the middle of the garden was beautifully cut grass and the view... Oh the view was beautiful, you could see the whole village. You look up at Alcina surprised and see her already staring at you, smiling lovingly down at you. Eyes widening at the expression before you smile and express your love through your eyes placing a hand on her cheek and pulling her down slightly to kiss her softly on the lips. She hums and deepens the kiss tilted her head slightly for a better angle. Alcina pours all her feelings into this kiss, and you do well to do the same. The way the moonlight is shinning on both of you felt amazing, making it feel so intimate.. So peaceful. You never wanted this to end. Not now, not ever. The softness of her lips brushing against yours.. Nothing could ever top this feeling you get when your with her. Soon she parts and allows you to take a minute to breath before her lips are on your neck pecking it softly before letting you down, you whine at the lost of connection. She chuckles before patting your head. "We have the whole night to kiss away darling, but why not somewhere more comfortable yes?" Alcina says while walking forward towards the grass. You raise an eyebrow wondering what she's doing before they widen widely. Alcina grabs her dress and goes to sit on the grass getting comfortable before looking back at you, your jaw drops at the sight of her getting her dress DIRTY just to sit in the grass with you. "Are you just going to sit there pet or are you going to join me?" Alcina says smirking well aware of the effect she has on you. You blush quickly going to sit besides her just before your butt hits the floor you feel hands on your waist. You yelp feeling yourself being placed onto something much softer than grass, turning you notice Alcina was smirking down at you after placing you on her lap wrapping her arms around your waist, bringing your head closer to her chest. You feel her warm breath on your neck as she whispered into your ear, "Now you can see the sky so much better don't you say pet?" You know your ears are burning red from how flustered you are. To far flustered to speak you simply nod. You feel the hot air leave her mouth as she chuckles, Alcina nuzzles her nose into your shoulder taking a deep breath breathing your heavenly scent in before sighing in content. The way the moonlight showers over the two of you making everything so romantic to the point you feel like a princess in one of those romance novels you read. You smile to yourself at the thought before focusing back on your love at the feeling of her nibbling on your neck beginning to giggle at the feeling, slightly ticklish in that area your eyes widen feeling Alcina smirk at the realization. She tries to continue tickling you but you yelp and quickly turn around throwing your arms around her neck shaking your head. "No no no, don't even THINK about it

Alcina!" You say trying your hardest to make a intimidating face, Alcina stares at you surprised by the face before whole hearted laugh escapes Alcina to the point she even throws her head back. You glare at her and she notices laughing even harder but still looking at you. After a moment she collects herself before staring down at you smirking "Oh well aren't you scary little one?" Alcina says teasingly. You blush but hold the glare. Soon she sighs smiling, "Oh alright little one no tickle fights tonight." Alcina says and goes to caress your cheek. You grin at the victory throwing your hand up into a first saying a slight "yes!" to no one in particular. Alcina watches with kind eyes smiling so hard it looks almost painful.

After your little "Victory dance" You look up into the sky at the perfect time and watch as a shooting star goes across the sky, your mouth falling open in awe at the sight. "Wow.." You whisper, you look to Alcina to see if she saw it and see her looking at the sky with a peaceful look on her face. The laugh lines showing as she smiles, the peaceful look in her eyes, the way her chest moves up and down with each breath. You smile before continuing to look up into the sky again joining her.

You both just stay there for some time, staring up into the sky loving the feel of having each other near. After some time Alcina breaks the silence. "I think I understand why you like this so much now pet." You look back at her and raise an eyebrow. "Really?" You respond to her. Alcina nods her head and without looking at you, she continues. "The sky is so peaceful to stare at.. I find myself getting lost with trying to count how many stars are out." You nod understanding what she means fully. Admiring her as she talks falling even harder for her. You go to respond before you shut your mouth shut as she opens her mouth to continue. "But I found myself loving the night simply because YOU love it dear.. The sky is just the sky to me normally. But you make it have such a deeper meaning draga mea.. And I want to thank whatever made you but ill settle for thanking you. You make me enjoy even the simple things pet, And I cannot thank you enough.." Alcina finishing and returns to looking at you, staring softly at your expression. Eyes tearing up you throw your arms around her neck pulling her close crying silently into her shoulder. "Oh Alcina.. I love you so much.. So so much.." You whisper to her. You feel her hum and tighten her hold on you bringing you closer. "And I love you.. My shooting star."

#alcina dimitrescu #gxg #hot vampire lady #lady alcina dimitrescu #lady dimitrescu #resident evil #dimitrescu #house of dimitrescu #lady dimitrescu x female reader #lady dimitrescu x oc #alcina x reader #lady dimitrescu x reader

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akisata-moved · 3 years

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"in all these millions of years, only the moon has never changed."

aka, louie finally makes a longer post about this. whether or not it's more coherent is... up to interpretation.

most of the time, when i talk about devilman for extended periods of time, i end up circling around to the moon. it always comes up! this is sort of unsurprising given that a discussion about the moon leads into satan's big epiphany at the end of the original devilman— so, it's significance in regards to themes of both the main characters and the overall story has always been something fascinating to me. i wrote a post about this a little while ago, but i wrote it at like 4 in the morning and so it... doesn't make much sense. so here i am, finally putting my thoughts into (semi)coherent writing.

(as a disclaimer, let me just put it out there that i like to analyze without go nagai's intentions necessarily in mind. i don't care if it's not that deep... it always could be!)

the moon as a universal symbol ☽

putting devilman aside for a second, what does the moon represent on a more universal scale? a lot of things. this makes sense, given the fact that symbolically, the moon is the second most important heavenly body— next to, of course, the sun. the two are often used in tandem, as the light of the sun is reflected by the moon. the two are frequently seen as "natural opposites". how many times have you seen "sun and moon" characters? yeah. a lot. thats what i thought.

the moon has strong ties to feelings of love and lovesickness. take the word moonstruck, for example. it carries a common theme of mystery, and other stories use it as a symbol for solitude, loneliness, or serenity. because of the way the moon governs over water and the ebb and flow of the tides, it is also said to symbolize emotions. in astrology, it represents one's emotional state and the way they expresses their vulnerability, and in tarot, the moon is a major arcana card which symbolizes fear, illusion, and the subconscious mind. the moon is also known for its phases; the cycle of the moon is used to represent the natural cycle of life and birth, and some even think it hints to rebirth of the soul through reincarnation.

"great thanks what does that have to do with devilman" well im glad you asked!! while having background information is good, we still need context.

the moon and devilman: on love, devotion, and self sacrifice ☾

the moon is prominent a couple of specific times in the original devilman manga. let's talk about them! obviously, there's not a super ton to analyze here because it's... uh. a silly little manga and not real literature, but regardless. i think it's more about seeing the potential in something anyways.

the sirene arc — beautiful moon!

one of the first times the moon comes into full-focus in the original devilman manga is during the sirene arc, with the moon in the sky being emphasized several times.

sirene's arc is one of the main parts of the original devilman manga that deals with themes of love and devotion. sirene's main motivation is a combination of love, grief, and resentment. the reason she targets akira (and by extension, the makimuras, because he cares about them) is because of the fact that akira merged with amon. she is pissed that amon— whom she was deeply in love (or maybe infatuated?) with— was taken over by akira's consciousness, and thus, taken away from her. it's really easy to look at sirene and only see a demon with a bloodthirsty nature, but in reality it's her love for amon that fuels her desire to get revenge against akira/devilman.

wow thats an ugly picture of sirene.

to continue the themes of love present in sirene's arc, you have kaim. despite sirene's unyielding devotion to amon, kaim shows the same kind of devotion to sirene, giving his own life to give her a shot at victory against devilman. this is the first time we see a demon do something like this, and prior to the fight with sirene, the audience's knowledge of demons is as simple as "they're bloodthirsty creatures who can't love, and who only lust for battle". kaim's behavior here (and honestly sirene's, too) directly contradicts that statement, and the audience is shown that, yes, demons are capable of not only love, but selfless sacrifice as well. this is actually kind of touched on in crybaby more than it is in the original manga (though i don't think it was handled very well). this motivation of love is what makes sirene and kaim a somewhat sympathetic pair of characters, despite sirene's relentless fight against devilman. i mean, even go nagai talked about how much he cried over the sirene arc in gekiman...

...but there's another character whose undying devotion starts to show in this arc, too.

that's right! our favorite neighborhood ryo!!

ryo's role in the sirene fight is relatively small but impossible to overlook. it's thanks to ryo that sirene dropped akira, and he was given the chance to transform into devilman. this all came at the cost of him getting fucking owned by sirene, though; a sacrifice he was more than willing to make in order to give akira the opportunity to strike— and more importantly, the opportunity to survive. ryo's actions actually mimic kaim's here, as they both commit some form of self-sacrifice in order to give the one they love an opportunity for victory!

all the while, this whole arc and chapter were led into using strong visuals of the moon. sirene's appearance immediately follows several shots of the moon, and the last thing seen before ryo appears is a shot of sirene carrying akira off, the moon shining bright above the two.

this whole chapter makes it easy to connect the ideas of romantic love and faithfulness to the image of the moon, especially in regards to sirene and amon, kaim and sirene, and, most importantly, ryo and akira. honestly ryokira is the most important dynamic here (sirene/amon and kaim/sirene are mostly used to more thoroughly explain the point and like, drive it home further), and we'll get to that in a second.

the eader arc — ryo's solo hunt

now this one is a lot less obvious and a lot more speculative, but given its importance to ryo's arc i feel like it's important to bring up nonetheless. after the death of sirene and kaim, these themes and ideas of love and devotion (how many times can i use that phrase in one analysis post) shift focus fully to ryo and akira. the next time we see the moon emphasized in the original manga, its during the eader arc.

oh yes bad quality manga scans <3 for some unknown reason they cut this bit out of the classic collection so i cant badly scan my own pages with my phone. boooo!!!!!!

this little mini-arc of ryo's is the second time we see the moon highlighted (and the first time we get foreshadowing of ryo being satan)! i hate that this arc was cut out of the classic collection. it actually enrages me a LOT. not only because of the loss of satan foreshadowing, but because it also cuts out the page where ryokira talk about "becoming demon hunters", and i could be wrong but i'm pretty sure thats the first time/most important time they use that phrasing. that discussion (and the confrontation with eader) truly highlights how they do usually function as a team and not just as akira doing all the dirty work. but i digress.

the moon appears by itself in 6 panels in ryo's confrontation with eader, and we don't have much context for this moment itself, besides that ryo went out to go demon hunting on his own and that he... nearly dies.

wow i ran out of image slots on here so i had to combine these two pictures. geez

this mini-arc of ryo's ties back into the previous themes of love and self-sacrifice from the sirene arc, complete with the appearance of the moon and everything. ryo knows that akira is getting more and more violent and susceptible to demonic impulses, and he knows that this puts akira in more danger than ever. the reason he understands akira's craving for violence (very well) is because he's witnessing this shift in his character first-hand. he also knows the reason why he went out and didn't inform akira— it was so he could protect him and keep him out of harms way, despite putting his own wellbeing, and honestly, his whole life at risk. even though akira is a more capable fighter than him, ryo doesn't want his life to be in any more danger.

obviously, this kind of thought process in ryo— wanting to protect him at all costs— is not necessarily new news for devilman fans. in fact, that's sort of the main point of the thing... and it's certainly more apparent in scenes where it's laid directly out for us, such as the scenes in ryo's apartment later on. but what sticks out to me is that in this scene + the sirene scene, there is an actual element of putting himself in harms way to protect/assist akira. there's a deliberate form of self-sacrifice here.

at the end of the world... — apocalyptic love confessions

and, of course, the part of the manga that got the little gears in my brain moving in the first place! this is arguably the most important time that the moon is brought into full-focus, and the most important time that the moon can be seen as a symbol of ryo's love for akira. and... honestly? akira's love for ryo, too.

akira's last words in the manga— and last words... in general... uhm...— are about the moon. of course, being chopped in half won't let you die slowly, so ryo (presumably) finishes his thought for him.

many, many posts about this have been written, but even without the idea of the moon representing devotion and love, it's easy to interpret this as a love confession, from either (or both) of them. all of this just drives the point home even harder. especially in regards to akira, in my opinion. at the end of the day, when the war was over, akira’s last words weren’t about how much he hated satan or how much he wanted to kill him. they were about the moon. (and then there's akira's odi et amo moment in devilman lady, but we don't have time to get into all of that.)

this also connects back to the moon's appearance as a symbol of self-sacrifice, and in this moment, a symbol of the final culmination of all that these two have done in that regard. this is the end result of akira's sacrifice for ryo (giving up his humanity and becoming devilman for him), and ryo's sacrifices for akira as well (besides the things mentioned earlier on in the post, this i feel like represents it at a wider scale: making akira a devilman in the first place is what sabotaged his apocalypse plans in the long run— he put all his plans at stake just to give akira a chance at survival, and it ended up with both of them alone at the end of the world.)

something else of note is the way ryo says, "only the moon has never changed". by interpreting the moon as a symbol for ryokira's love, this line shows that despite everything, ryo has always loved akira. no matter what, despite akira's violent changes and the fact that he eventually succumbed the amon's influence over his consciousness, ryo loved him through it all.

also, as another note, these screenshots were taken from the classic collection, which was the published (and only official iirc?) translation. go nagai has a funny little habit of using thought bubbles as both "whispers"/quiet speech and thought. in the original/fan translation online, you'll see that akira's "the moon..." line was in a thought bubble and not a speech bubble!

now this is just speculation, and a bit divergent from the main point, but it is very interesting to me how the translators/publishers thought that this line (+ a few subsequent ryo lines) was important enough to change to a speech bubble for clarity. it's not like satan's "beautiful" comment wouldve been completely impossible to interpret had the thought bubble remained... so... i dont know man... i just think thats inch resting... on that note, i'm not entirely sure how much they change throughout the manga, because i... dont have the entirety of the manga memorized, but even a quick flip to other pages (such as when ryo and akira are talking after ryo attached his arm) seems to show that this kind of change isn't too frequent. some of ryo and akira's speech, which one would assume would be clarified in a real speech bubble, isn't. so, you know. take that as you will.

meanwhile in crybaby 🐇

devilman crybaby diverges from the original in about every way possible (aside from keeping some of the basic plot events). this includes satan's monologue near the end... in fact, it's so different that he doesn't even mention regretting anything that he did (besides killing akira). crybaby pulls a line that is... an interesting spin on the moon line, with instead of ryo (and akira) mentioning the moon's beauty and leading into a remorseful speech asking for akira's forgiveness, he makes a comment that "the rabbit is probably dead..." (referring to the rabbit on the moon), before showing a quick flashback to ryo and akira's childhood.

what was most likely supposed to be an interesting callback to ryo and akira's childhood relationship ends up falling short because of the lack of development and substance that their relationship has. the two hardly even act like friends throughout the course of the show, and the most we get about their relationship in childhood before the last few episodes is ryo absently flipping through photo albums without giving the audience context. the audience is given this line about the rabbit in the moon being significant to akira and ryo's friendship... with no context, and then it presents us with context immediately after. the audience is not emotionally connected to this moment.

a way of fixing this could've been by... throwing a scene in that referenced this at any point in time before the climax of the series. ideally, developing ryo and akira's friendship more and making it more believable, but if you dont want to go through all that work, at the very least, put in a scene where ryo and akira are talking at night before things start to get too heavy -> have akira look at the moon and reference the moon rabbit. a moment of genuine connection between the two not only wouldve solidified their relationship just a little bit more, but it also would've made that reference at the end hit a lot harder.

any kind of moon symbolism from the original, however, is essentially... subverted in crybaby, because of the fact that ryo destroyed the moon. he split the moon in half. this is almost interesting considering he does the exact same thing to akira less than 10 seconds later. i would say that, if the moon was to still symbolically represent ryo and akira's love, one could tie it into the idea that any kind of love that they both had was haphazardly destroyed by ryo's carelessness, but i don't think this kind of symbolism necessarily hits as hard when he acts the way he does throughout the whole show, and then proceeds to kill akira with a maniacal grin on his face. that's just me, though.

the rabbit in the moon: additional thoughts🐰

personally, i think that the idea of incorporating the "rabbit in the moon" idea into the original apocalypse scene was a really good concept, and had a lot of potential for connecting even further into the idea of ryo's unconditional love for akira. once again, dmcb just... did not handle it right.

a very common theme i see throughout devilman is the association of akira with rabbits, which (im assuming) comes from a major scene in the ova in which he defends a bunny from masa's gang. i personally love this bit of characterization, and if kept, it can tie in nicely to the use of the 'moon rabbit' idea that crybaby was going for. the symbol of the rabbit could represent akira as he was originally— the kindhearted, gentle boy whom ryo fell in love with. this scene gives us a reason to like akira as a protagnoist, and shows that he truly does have a good heart. his desire to protect things came out of his good nature. there was nothing to gain from protecting the bunnies. he did it because he was a good person who cared, and who wanted to stand up for things that couldn’t stand up for themselves, even at the risk of his own safety and well-being. (this eventually transforms into some sort of savior complex and need to protect rather than a desire to protect, but that.... can be a whole separate post.)

this, in addition to working in references to ryo and akira's childhood together throughout the story (as stated above) could come full circle in a ryo who says something along the lines of, “the moon has never changed. the rabbit is still there, too…”, which would hit much harder when you realize that he's not only referring to the shape of the moon's craters, but akira as well. not only does he love him through everything, but he knows that deep down, akira is still good and that his kindhearted akira is still there somewhere, even though they both went through the end of the world. 🌙

#devilman #ryokira #i had to rewatch the last like 5 minutes of crybaby for this el oh el #aaaaand its 4 am and i didnt draw. lol #oh well #louie.txt #analysis

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svft2jae · 4 years

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[6:30PM]

"these verses are for you, my angel

whose been the reason love has turned so heavenly to me

to you, a unique one many would tell as complicated

but who deserves to be loved, treasured in the same intensity

yes, you've came to be

the purest feeling i own, my only certainty

that shines in my eyes every time im honored to hear

your magnificent voice,

the only door

to the world i see."

for the third time through this rainy evening you recite the last line of the sketch in your hands, right then pressing it against your chest. at this point, fight the bitter knot of anxiety in top of your throat was almost like a torment, when after so long you had finally come to reify, or more specifically in romantic rhymes, everything you kept inside yourself for the only person who made all the love songs finally have sense, especially when you'd hear them resonating like honey drops in tunes sung out of your beloved's lips. almost immediately as you looked back at the writing between your fingers there you could already bring to mind all of his details such as the way his bright, almond eyes closed filled with emotions every time he gave in to singing, even if only by quiet notes like hummings while preparing something in the kitchen — yes, everything that meant doyoung, from his broad shoulders to his strong personality that you ended up learning to love albeit being so different from yours, every memory tinted by his colors once again flashed back behind your eyelids as if they were already another part of yours, making you forget any sadness or weight, except for a simple one which always kept bringing your feet back to the floor of reality.

with that you take a deep breath and pushed the white material away buried deep in your jacket's pocket, resting your head which suddenly seemed to become as heavy as a rice package against the front door of the apartment him and your long-time best friend mark shared, being it the last thing to separate you from the no return decision of confessing all those feelings taking over you for so long. little by little together to all the memories gradually a flood of questions came back as well to your mind, among them the clear words once told by mark, the same ones that ever since made your throat burn and nights go by without you being able to sleep, every day at the same time your insides grew filled with love.

"you and doyoung are pretty much in the same age difference as both my friends taeil and hyuck. that's a bit complicated, since you can't just predict someone's feelings. he can might not see things like you do, y/n."

you remember it this way what the older one said at the last afternoon when you had asked him for advices, his kind expression a little worried as he lowered his guitar to meet your blank staring face right then. not that you hadn't ever thought of such a possibility, but over time, over how much you saw him when he often visited your theater group rehearsals with mark and his other classmates, amid the jokes and laughs you exchanged at breaks, over the times he learned to call you by your name by the frequent study afternoons mark brought you in, and even the so precious conversations between you two as you'd offer to help him in the kitchen or when tidying up the rooms, such times like these you'd remember so fondly, as well sometimes when he'd sing out a snippet of his favorite songs after you and your best friend asked so much — with all these little things you ended up considering such idea to seem like fading along to the anguish it brought, not that it'd somehow come back heavier than never, the way a sharp material would feel right against them.

however in the end of all of this, it did. while you now insisted on swallowing the fresh, single tears already beginning to roll down your humid cheeks, molds of insecurity and fear hurting the pit of your stomach like never before, you still try anyway to make your feet to rush away, yet no answer came from your own body besides to remain there, waiting for any impulse of courage which could might raise up from your heart. but when you'd finally swallow it all and decide for leaving, the door moves behind your back catching you by surprise, electricity running to your ears as the person behind it tries to open it once more.

"y/n...?" just so you hear doyoung's velvety voice hitting your hair through the small gap he had managed to open without your body's block, a tone of confusion and clear concern in it. "what happened? mark said you two weren't going to study today."

he speaks again, but all earned is another silence. on weak knees and with no other choice you just turn to the taller one behind you, planning to apologize for the inconvenience and then retreat as soon as possible if it wasn't for the way your puffy, teary eyes met his through the small space, making his own surprised enough to see you like this.

"what happened?" almost like an inaudible whisper doyoung repeats, his tone now much sweeter and closer as his thin fingers reaches through the gap to take yours. still not able to make up any action you let out a small sob in response to his touch, just as, unbeknownst to you or to your own control one, two, three other drops once again roll down, making the dark haired in front of you raise his other hand to pull open the door completely, but soon being interrupted by yours, holding it to stay in the same place. gradually you took the folded paper out of your pocket, and instead of anything else you might think of doing, handed it to doyoung, your chest still stinging though as resigned as you were and closed the door for a moment, leaving it to him so he'd read all he had to read up that little white material containing so many dreams and emotions as impossible as any chance you'd ever have in such an uncertain place as by his side.

"what am i doing.."

a few minutes later as your feet were once again struggling to move to no more coming back you feel the door slowly open, one more beat slipping off your pulsations as you see doyoung for the first time sniffle without it being because of an onion, his eyes sparkling beneath his glowing brown bangs like small teary bits of the starry sky with the light frown his eyebrows expressed, all while he stared at you as if he wanted to say something but didn't have enough breath to, holding the paper steady on his fingers.

"that was, the most beautiful thing i've ever received in my life." he said softly out the way he felt his heart utterly touched, as one more little drop scapes your lids, making you wipe it off with the sleeve of your jacket almost reflexively.

"the most beautiful thing i ever received was once meeting you."

another silence breaks out on either sides of the small opening. no matter how hard you'd push yourself against it and your feelings still struggled to wait for what would come, what since the beginning always was the biggest risk of it all each passing second kept to hurt even more, the same fate which would put a point to all the amazing things that you secretly felt for so long, and right it was seeming to consume you there in front of doyoung, without any more turns. but still you just held it all, out of sudden hearing the pull of the door and turn your gaze to the who was a bit little closer, his niveous face resting against the bar of wood.

"i need some time. i need to understand all of this i'm feeling. i've already been hurted a lot, and this, this is the first time anyone has shown me such affection. i still don't know how to correspond you."

you remember it this way each of his words, that quickly got stuck one by one over the material inside your chest. how to ever forget them, if so right after as the days went by yet heartbreak insisted on getting itself a place they kept still vivid in countless wonders amongst your thoughts everytime you'd see yourself locking eyes with doyoung again, when mark would be there like how he showed up in the moment you first heard them, and no longer neither of you would act as always. with the memories of doyoung's so sincere words, of what could be actually hidden behind the reason they'd have, if maybe he was instead as hurt as you but more by what he's been living, if his own angelical tears meant so, all these new ideas being the only ones surrounding your nights nonetheless spent thinking of him, of the constant wish for his healing, before the pain of still no room to your feelings.

how would you hand everything to the gap, or give the love you had for it. he was the one you loved.

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shadowknight465 · 5 years

Text

Sun and Moon

He went back to the tree safe from harm, or what could be harm in his point of view. Nightmare still doesn't understand where the voices are coming from. He brushed it off thinking it was a result of being alone most of the time. Even though his feet were hurt from walking for a long time; he felt the energy coming back as soon he saw light golden cap with arms hugging two deep blue legs. He then took a deep breath as the dry grass tells his brother that he's here. Dream look up and saw Nightmare. Never knowing what Nightmare had seen before finding him.

As Nightmare sat beside him. Even when his eyes were closed he could easily tell that Dream is confused. Nevertheless Dream spoke to Nightmare. "What do you want?" Nightmare respond it with. "Just to talk." Dream looks down again. Nightmare always tells himself that he isn't gonna lie to his brother, but he feels like he needs to stretched the truth for a bit. Hopefully Dream will learn the truth sooner or later.

"Look, Dream,"

Dream turns his head to face Nightmare again.

"I didn't really mean to flip you." Nightmare then makes a fist to try to give his brother an example. "You see. I'm like a water balloon. I can build so much anger inside of me that I could explode unexpectedly."

Now this is the time to lie

Nightmare thought to himself. "And when you mention your friends, I got so mad and lied to you because you have friends and I don't." He then chuckles to himself while rubbing against his skull. "I guess I should get out of my shell more."

"Oh....Sorry." Dream responded, feeling guilty about something he didn't do. Nightmare thought to himself for second on how to make Dream feel better.

Dream always did say he want to cook with me...

"It's Ok, and you know what? I'll give you a cooking lesson. Would you like that?" He asked patting his brother shoulder.

"OK!" The golden eye light shine brightly. Nightmare smile to himself proudly, as he got up not knowing his brother is confused again. "Alright-y then," He said. "But first let me heal myself."

"Alright, brother."

As soon Dream was out of sight. Nightmare took all the wool out of his sleeves and nearly gasped from the blood loss. He's surprised that he didn't faint at least, that's what he thought. He went to his hiding place where he often use medicine practice on himself and took a piece of cloth and wrap it around his teeth.

Please God stay with me.

He then brew a healing spell in his black cauldron, and dive his arm in it painfully. Trying his best not to scream matter how much it stings his arm. As soon he was done. He catch his breath and look for a book about cooking so he and brother can make gumbo or stew. He grabbed the book that he needed and another dropped. He sigh in annoyance and went to put it back up, but when he read the title, he knows he didn't bought the book. The title read "Peace after Death". It didn't said who wrote it, nor did it had any information in the back. He decided when he has time he can read one or two pages see was all about. He pick up the book and hid it under his shirt, then went back to his brother while picking up some ingredients. Forgetting the mysterious book.

~~~~~

"Ok, Dream. Watch the fire while I get the recipe."

"And whatever you do. Don't touch it." Nightmare ordered sternly. It's wasn't because he doesn't trust Dream, it was because every time Dream is around with fire he always want to touch it, 'to feel the warmth.' His brother said as a excuse. After a brief few seconds. He felt something off.

Dream is being awfully quiet. I'm going to check on him

His suspense quickly turn to fear. He turnaround quickly yelling. "DREAM! DONT!"

"OUCH!"

Nightmare walked up to Dream disappointed.

One thing, he can't do one thing?

He thought.

"What did I tell you about touching the fire?" He demanded.

"Don't?" Dream squeak.

"That's right. And what did you do?" He reminded.

"Touch it..."

Nightmare sigh and went back to his studies to get some bandages for Dream. He felt a little lucky that no one has seen them, not because Nightmare will be in trouble. But because Dream will be accused of being a pyro warlock. If there's anything about him and pyro warlocks have in common is their love of fire. He blames the elders for introducing fire to Dream in the first place. Though he can see his brother being one of those pyro warlocks. Which to him it means he has to clean up all his brother's messes. Fire. One of the most dangerous elements known to so many races. Can be used for creation or distraction. It's also known for cooking meals and to guide the lost. But what's fire without its counterpart, water? The very thing that can heal in shape. To be transform into solid or gas. And to heal if you do it right.

~~~~~~

After Nightmare bandaged up his brother's hand. He sat in the back right beside him.

He thought about his deep thinking earlier and he decided he wanted to share that knowledge with his brother. Just in case.

"Dream, I think it's time to tell you the importance of water and fire." Nightmare turns to face Dream. "So listen closely, understand?" Dream nodded.

"You won't believe this, but both of them need each other like the sun and the moon. Let me explain. When water turns to ice, fire can thaw it out. When fire is out of control, water can calm it down. Although they seem different, they are the same in the way. Water was known to drown, to give life, to turn cold, and to heal. Fire was known to destroy, to bring warmth, to bring to light and to guide. They show us without one there can't be the other, they complete each other. Do you understand Dream?"

Dream nodded. "Of course, Brother."

Nightmare then chuckled for a bit. "You know you remind me of fire."

"Hmm?"

"You are always so bright and energetic." He answered. "Well you remind me of water, you are always so calm and gentle." He responded. Nightmare blush. He's not used to complements, not like his goody two shoes brother. "Thanks, I love you my Little Sun." He said.

" I love you too, Moon." Dream said. Nightmare turn to night sky.

Maybe I can teach Dream a bit of my interest.

He thought. He doesn't want to get lonely on most nights anymore. "Want to learn a bit about astronomy?" He asked.

"Yes, please!" Dream answered happily.

after three whole hours of talking about constellation his brother fell asleep on his lap. Nightmare pull his personal book from his inner rib cage. Hey, he got to protect his personal belongings.

June, 17, 1577

The small group of friends I met yesterday turns out to be traitors when they attack me. As they all beat me up one of them use their magic to make me break my own arm. When i was finished, they all wound up together and nearly blinded me by hitting my eye sockets with a big rock. It later cause me to be aggressive my own brother. However something strange had happened to me while I was trying to look for him. A creature I believed to be a massager for someone said they wants me to be their king of darkness, so I'll be safe from everyone's grasp, I however decline. Because I choose not to be like the people who abuse and manipulated us. Even after he left, I still feel like he's watching me from afar to see if I change my mind. And, a few other voices said they want me to be king. I theorize that if it's from being along for so long. When I finally apologized I told him that we can cook together after I tend my wounds. While I was healing up and planing to cook a meal with my brother, I discovered a book that wasn't mine reading "Peace after Death". It is said who or what is from, nor does it have a symmetry. Which made me wonder is this a gift from God or a temptation from Lucifer?

He then put the book away. And went to sleep. Not long after maybe four or three hours, he saw that he was in an starry night like area. He then look that himself and saw that he changed. Not like a demonic way, but like a spirit. Most of his color palette are shades of pastel bluish-purple. He looked up and saw similar lights from when he blacked out. As he slowly walks towards it, he can hear so many voices telling him to go on until he came to a blinding light. When it finally faded he discovered two beautiful gems. One shaped like the sun and the other shaped like the moon.

"Welcome back, Nightmare."

He looked and so heavenly figures each of them are white with a different color hue surrounding them. While their eyes are the same color of the hue and yet nothing no white or pupils.

Nightmare was so amazed that he can't describe it with words itself. "Is this a dream?" He asked when he finally got his voice back.

"No."

Nightmare suddenly got confuse.

"Heaven?"

"No."

Nightmare took a step backwards. "Hell?"

The leader of them walk towards him against his wishes. "This is a forgotten realm is call The Nerco Empire."

He look at everyone in awe. He never heard of such an empire. Especially a empire for the dead. As he was about to ask why they want him to be their king, he saw a humanoid figure dress in regal garments wielding a scythe pointing at him.

As if nobody paid attention, he heard it deep tone of voice saying. "Come."

He went to the opposite direction as far he could while screaming out for help. However as he got to familiar grounds nobody seems to hear him. When he reached to the tree where he and his brother were resting, he saw himself. He pause for a moment trying to think of an exclamation, then he remember why he was running in the first place. And ran straight to his body.

He jolted up then looked around him to see a sleeping Dream. He sigh and released thinking it was a nightmare, then carry his brother back home.

~~~~

After he sat Dream down on his bed. All bright yellow and some hits of gold and later went to his bed he felt a sharp pain on his back. He brush it off as maybe he was hit on the back and need some rest. When he got back to his own bedroom which is different shades of purple he felt his right hand Burning up. He took a look at it and saw the sun-cut gem.

So it wasn't a dream after all...

He thought. He put it in one of his drawers and head back to bed.

Whatever he went through it'll be over soon right?

#daybreak #nightmare!sans #dream!tale #uncorrupted nightmare #my art

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betweengenesisfrogs · 7 years

Note

Hey, I am LOVING your writing on the Gnosticism themes on Homestuck--I hadn't thought about the Aeons as Cherubs yet, and that's fascinating stuff. However, a couple comments and leads: I don't think Abraxas is ever referenced as Sophia's partner, or at least, I haven't found a source making that claim. far as I can tell, Abraxas was the name of a totally different god later attributed to the Ur-God that generates the Aeons, by Carl Jung in the 7 Sermons to the Dead (1)

That paper describes Abraxas as the ultimate, invisible Godthat unites all opposites into one being, as well as the Lord of frogs andamphibians (puts a whole new spin on consorts and BSlick, not even to mentionJake’s consort kingdom, huh?). I also think the most obvious analog for Aeonsare actually the Aspects themselves–it’s important that the world of thePleroma is also the world of Ideas, and that Yaldabaoth is a “blind”god because it cannot perceive the Ideas that created it.

The Ideas angle alsolinks into the Ur-Self stuff you talked about with Davepeta. I think Hussiecovered that pretty thoroughly, because the Ur-Self is just another branch of atopic Hussie already covers from Act 1: Platonic Realism, and the expression ofthe pure realm of Ideas in the world of Material reality. My next two videosare covering the links between Gnosticism and Greek theory of Platonic Realism,but in the meantime Tex Talks’ alchemy stuff breaks the latter down v well.

Oh, also notable isthat Yaldabaoth is described as having created “seven heavens” in thesky–lending additional weights to the Seven Gates leading to Skaia, as thecharacters must Ascend the gates much as humans must Ascend to the Heavens toreach Pleroma ;) And you are indeed correct that Skaia is the metaphysicalmanifestation of Pleroma–hence why it acts as the Sessions’ Sun. It also givesoff Light, but Skaia’s Light is more focused on Ideas.

At last I finally have a chance to post your very helpfulcorrection! Sorry it took so dang long! XD

Yeah, I was totally wrong on Abraxas when I said he was Sophia’scounterpart Aeon. I think I must have decided that because 1) it seems weird tome that we wouldn’t know the name of that Aeon, but mythological systems areweird and arbitrary like that I guess 2) I misread one of my sources, which referredto Abraxas as “in Pleroma with Sophia,” which is still technically true, but asit turns out, true in a more general way. I’ve corrected the original post. Won’t stopold reblogs of it from going out, but ah, that’s the nature of the tumblr beast.^^’

I’ll have to look into Jung’s take, but I’m intrigued. Ithink Abraxas predates Jung, existing in earlier Gnostic systems (but not allof them) and I think he does start as a separate god originally. But I LOVEthat he’s associated with amphibians! That’s fantastic. That really ties him closelyinto the system of Sburb, even more than I originally thought, and suggeststhat Hope is somehow tied to the unlimited creative potential of Skaia.

Also, I was looking into Abraxas, and as far as I can tellhe seems to have been a Hellenistic-Roman god of curses and power, of a typethat was pretty common in that period of history—gods whose long, bizarre nameswere written on papyri and stones to summon the god’s magic power, frequentlyas a curse to bring down your enemies. Variations on Abraxas’s name werecommon, and in fact (I made sure I double-checked this this time, ha!) thisdoes appear to be where we get the word ABRACADABRA, from tablets and similarriffing on ABRAXAS. Or Abraxas is a riff on ABRACADABRA and similar bizarrepower-god names. Which is fascinating in its own right, but on top of that, itoccurred to me…

Writing ABRAXAS like this might look something like:

And oh my god Jake is closely associated with Abraxas as hisdenizen and Roxy even wonders on that page if he was writing ABRACADABRA and this just tiesJake and the mysteries of the Hope aspect even more closely into Gnosticism,and fuck, Homestuck really is the gift that keeps on giving, isn’t it? Fuckinglove it.

You’re right, Homestuck has always engaged pretty closelywith the platonic/archetypal nature of its entities, all the way from Act 1onward! Thanks for pointing that out. It’s interesting to see how it becomesmore explicit (and more focused on characters) later on, but it’s so satisfyingto notice how the seeds were already there. I like the Platonist Forms connectionlots of folks have made; I’ll admit Platonism isn’t my area of expertise,though. I tend to approach this much more from a Lit Crit/ Structuralist theoryof ideas. But it kind of comes to the same result, doesn’t it? Structuralist conceptsand Platonism get along pretty well, the only difference is that one’s encoded inlanguage and one in the universe. Given that Homestuck’s a linguistic-narrativestructure that represents a cosmic structure, it’s a pretty fantastic marriage!

Seven Gates / Seven Heavens is another SWEET CATCH, thanks! Sevensare a pretty classic magical number, but they don’t appear super oftenHomestuck outside the acts and the gates, do they? Curious. Very curious.Another echo of Narrative as Cosmos, Story as Gnosticism? From what I gatherthe archetypal power of sevens historically comes from the seven visibleheavenly bodies, (the sun and moon plus the five visible planets), and that’sprobably pretty closely tied to the Gnostic idea of Seven Heavens. Which allties in very nicely with the planetary and cosmic structure of Sburb. Excellentstuff.

Thanks so much for writing in! I always look forward tohearing your ideas. :D

#replies and discussion #revolutionaryduelist #abraxas #hope aspect #gnostic influences #homestuck analysis #platonism #structuralism #hellenistic religion #corrections #the ultimate self #gnostic themes #homestuck #sevens #metafiction in homestuck #jake english

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