#you hear me choices?

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[turtleblogatlast]

Imagine little Leo having trouble sleeping so he ends up watching tv and movies with Splinter to pass the time. Splinter often just passes out in his chair, but Leo likes the company anyway.

One day, Leo’s rifling through the movies his dad brought back for them (usually 70s and 80s stuff - Splinter has a bias) and he gasps.

Leo runs over to Splinter and holds up a copy of The Last Unicorn, begging that they watch it that night.

Splinter remembers absolutely nothing about the movie, but hey it’s got a unicorn and it’s animated so it’s gotta be fine, right? So he turns the movie on and passes out near immediately.

He’s woken up roughly an hour and a half later by Leo climbing up onto his chair and sobbing hysterically into his chest.

The movie is now one of Leo’s favorites.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rottmnt headcanons #rottmnt splinter #Leo: you wouldn’t let ME leave would you? #Splinter: no of course not my son! #but it was never a matter of letting by those left #rather it is a choice by those leaving #it’s one of the many moments that flashes through Splinters mind when he hears his boy sacrifice himself #anyway leo loves unicorns so obviously he gets to be emotionally devastated and terrified by the last unicorn like the rest of us #he considers forcing his brothers through the same emotional turmoil he went through #but he hides the movie instead #wanting it to be something just for him #man this really hits harder for all those ‘future leo lives’ AUs huh

[blue-mood-blue]

I can pinpoint the moment that destroyed my life today:

It’s been a handful of weeks since Murderbot came within inches of having a new, organic governor module implanted in its head via infection - do you think, maybe, that’s also been hiding behind the redacted? Not the way everything else is, just as a deep-seated reminder of what it can’t afford to lose?

What a way to be told “I love you” - to be told “I will not lose you, I will not let go, I will do the hard part of holding on even if you don’t want me to”

#the murderbot diaries #murderbot #murderbot spoilers #perihelion #I am not normal about this and I will continue to be not normal about this #I have feelings about how important they are to each other #how their relationship doesn’t fit into neat boxes and is still undeniable #I don’t think art loves quite like humans love but it DOES love and will all of that power behind it #that love is an overwhelming thing I think #not romantic but INTENSE the way it just… IS intense by nature #and like… I got to the part where mb was thinking about just walking away in the other direction like #’oh this is BAD bad’ #and this moment just……. #something about ‘you can’t go because I won’t let you’ #’I will make the hard choice for you even if you don’t like what I choose’ #not even in a possessive way just. just that mb is not ALLOWED to not exist #and I’ve got a lot of goddamn feelings about it #mb is a little bit in pieces and art is gonna forcibly hold those pieces together until it starts to heal #(but also. goddamn don’t even get me started on art having to hear that because. HHHHHH)

[wouldntbehim]

mix: firstprince (taylor's version)

#rwrbedit #alex x henry #alex claremont diaz #henry fox #my reward for not putting any tswift songs on my other mix is that i decided to do one that is just. nothing but tswift songs. #so. firstprince mix (taylor's version) #i was gonna do 'say don't go' for kensington but. #i actually liked 'haunted' a lot more for it #and nearly did 'haunted' for the scene of alex and nora but they swapped #(dress was entirely self-indulgent btw but. i couldn't resist.) #i have zero apologies for the choice of 'paper rings' btw #not pictured: me tapping my foot and waiting impatiently for rep tv #(listen my life will not be complete until i hear 'don't blame me (taylor's version)') #i'm choosing to blame this on my best friend #bc i went 'since i didn't put any on the other mix tell me i can't make one that's just tswift songs' #and she went 'do it.' #and i said 'okay at least tell me i can't just name it 'firstprince (taylor's version)'' and she said 'okay but you should' #so here we are. #also i think my favorite coloring in this is the one i used for 'wildest dreams' and 'you are in love' and 'say don't go' #yes i did attempt to color them in ways reminiscent of the albums and what about it

[dennisboobs]

7x10 // How Mac Got Fat

↳ Charlie & Dennis + getting high together

#iasip #it's always sunny in philadelphia #dennis reynolds #charlie kelly #charden #dennis looks....... positively lovestruck #ada's gifs #ada speaks #the continuity errors between shots in these scenes is so funny to me but i only noticed bc ive spent two hours on this gifset #anyway. in my expert opinion #this is far from the first time den's come to charlie like this #i can see this happening frequently in high school especially considering their drug of choice here is inhalants #x2 when know how charlie's relationship with them was in hs #the fact that dennis leaves his room to 'be alone' and then goes to paddy's to get high with charlie #to me indicates he doesn't *want* to be alone with his thoughts like this #when he's already overthinking and self conscious #i think contrasting this scene w mac & dee barging into his room earlier is interesting #because while mac & dee reacted with immediate disgust and asked what the fuck happened to his face #charlie's just like why is your face shiny. then repeatedly makes it clear he doesnt care about anything beyond the basics #ok cool. chemical peel caused it. no i don't want to hear why you decided to get one. #and honestly i think dennis was counting on that reaction. charlie doesn't give a shit. he's down to hang out and he doesn't ask questions. #they both want an immediate out from the pressure they both feel and most definitely do Not want to talk about it <3 #stuff it down with some.......... turpentine

[kojitheopossum]

Finally drew my xisuma (+ evil xisuma) design

#i love drawing robot characters mwah #why doesn’t anyone draw him as a robot btw it feels like the only choice #anyways lmk if you want to hear me rant about the mechanics #xisuma #evil x #evil xisuma #xisumavoid #xisumavoid fanart #evil xisuma fanart #hermitcraft #hermitblr #hermitcraft fanart #my art

[canisalbus]

Imagine if Machete was Muslim instead of Catholic. His name would be something like Saif سيف, and Vasco would probably be something like Dhahabi ذَهَبِيّ

.

#I don't know Arabic so I can't weigh in that much but if you say so! #it seems like these mean “sword” and “golden” respectively that's neat #Machete wouldn't be able to cling to his Catholic guilt in that case #I don't think Islam has the same concept of original sin that Christianity does #I'm simplifying but it's a belief that humans are born with an innate tendency for evil sinning is part of our nature #and staying on the positive and in God's good graces requires a lot of repentance which can lead to excess guilt and shame #I could be wrong but I'm under the impression that this idea of a manufacturing error is a very Christian thing #sorry I know you didn't sign up to hear me try to talk about big theology things and I don't want to make it weird #but I find this stuff really interesting I unironically like to read and think about how religions work #and how they shape things they come in contact with #in Machete's case in particular his troubled relationship with God and his career choice are big parts of his character #and why he turned the way he did and thinks the way he does you know #answered #kachavashka #Dhahabi is such a regal sounding name #I'd steal that in a heartbeat if I didn't already have one extremely gold-coded character

[reindeerswillsavethisworld]

No, but you don't understand, Technus is so fucking funny, and without even trying. Like, imagine telling somebody about his whole deal, it'd be a trainwreck lmao.

"So there's this ghost who can control all kinds of technology."

"Okay."

"He looks like an off brand cosplay of Nikola Tesla and can and will villain monologue you to death."

"Yeah, okay, continue."

"One of his plans of world domination was fully dependant on making his favourite enemies-to-lovers ship canon."

"I'm sorry, what."

The most outrageous thing, tho! The thing that drives me up the wall!! Is that his convoluted plans work like clockwork!!! If Sam wasn't an MVP that she is, then Technus' plan to take over the internet by playing a fucking videogame would have been successful. Combining Technus' technology and Skulker's mastery with weapons was a real pro gamer move, and they did almost beat Danny's ass in under 5 minutes. His plan to distract both Danny and Valerie by matchmaking them was stupid as fuck and yet it fucking worked!! How the fuck did it work.

His downfalls are literally 1) his arrogance, and 2) simple dumb bad luck. The reason why he and Skulker failed was because they both were pretentious fucks and were too prideful to cooperate with each other properly despite literally sharing a body. And if Danny and Valerie were a little less afraid of the other getting hurt, he'd have succeeded there, like, for real-real.

His failings more often than not are really just unlucky coincidencies. What a loser lmao.

#he kinda reminds me of nosy grannies that sit on a bench near you home and loudly judge all your life choices #literally hears a rumor and asks 'is somebody gonna get involved in this' and doesn't wait for an answer #ALSO THE IMPLICATIONS OF HIM BEING AN EXPERT IN ROMANCE LIKE??? WHY #do. do ghosts go to him for relationship advice. does he offer couples therapy #imagine going for romantic advice and hearing 'i know a guy who can help you in your troubles ;)' #and the guy in question is nikolai fucking technus #(he'd still offer a better advice than skulker or god forbid spectra so there's that i suppose) #technus #danny phantom

[aquanutart]

Nyaha~! Caught in my electroweb! ♡

#pokemon #iono #nanjamo #bellibolt #pokemon sv #aquanutart #iono gives me this vibe of 'i've sold my soul to chasing love and attention from thousands of strangers who will never know me' #but with an edge of self-awareness and i like that #i love hyper over-the-top performer personalities! i think she genuinely enjoys performing in her cutesy persona #and i definitely think it's a huge part of herself that she enjoys expressing but she has another side too #that worries about numbers and holding people's interest and getting the attention and validation she wants #she's an in-universe internet content creator! she's got a gig and she is WORKING it!! #i swear she makes me hear death by glamour #ALSO SHE HAS A FROG!!! i have no choice but to stan #btw you get a bilingual bonus if you can read this (and i get a weeb award for using romaji and katakana in the same picture) #how else though can i convey to english audiences that she uses boku (i love it) #her catchphrase 'your eyeballs are mine' does kinda creep me out though #i find it less creepy in japanese which is just 'your eyeballs (are acted on by) electric net' but that may be because i understand it less #i don't know japanese well enough to guess exactly what it's implying rofl

[orobty]

HA HA! The rise cyoa clue game that I've been mentioning in tags for forever is finally here!!

Plotting everything out took a bit but I think I got most of the possibilities written out although I wouldn't put it past you guys to do something wild lol

So part of the way this works is that there'll be more options the more you've spoken to people but some people will only have a few options naturally! I tried to keep it in character and some of them just wouldn't lie/are very very bad at it, so ya get what ya get, hope you guys have fun!! (And feel free to send asks with theories and/or praise I accept both <3)

#rottmnt #rise donnie #rise splinter #orobty clue #not sure if people will enjoy this or get bored but I guess we'll find out!! #also dont think it'll end up being too long but I guess that also depends on your choices lol #i think the big choices will be a week each and the actual talking ones will be a day but I havent fully decide yet #either way buckle up! we're solvin a mystery >:} #also PLEASE tell me if the dialogue works for you #would be happy to hear it #happy voting! #just hope you guys don't get the bad ending! <3 #clue 1

[msfcatlover]

So. Did you know there's a backstory to Dick's mullet?

Because there is.

Mirage convinced Dick to let her restyle him while she was impersonating Kori. Which he went along with, because Kori had been incredibly depressed for the last several weeks and nothing Dick said or did seemed to be helping her. Dick had pretty clearly hit the point where he was willing to do just about anything to make her happy again.

Which I know doesn't even begin to compare to the many other ways Mirage took advantage of him (trust me, I just read it,) but has made me hate the mullet jokes now, because that was not Dick's choice.

(I'm sure it's just a coincidence Dick's hair & costume came out of it looking a lot more like the future!Dick Mirage was pining over. Contrasts between future!Dick & the classic Discowing Dick was wearing in the arc right before this one below the cut.)

-------------------------------------------

Here's future!Dick...

....Aaaand Discowing.

Obviously, she somehow magically grew his hair out several inches. But even beyond that...

Look at the stripe shape & placement on the new suit, lining up with both future!Dick's stripes & his mesh armbands.

Look at the glove shape, going from a segmented gauntlet to a single elbow-length piece with a curved upper edge.

While Dick's boots are considerably less dramatic than his future self's thigh-highs, they are still much more strongly emphasized in Mirage's version of the costume.

While future!Dick has the diamond on his abdomen like Discowing, future!Dick's costume has much less detailing around his abdomen.

Discowing also isn't the one with a utility belt. A belt which just so happens to have the same insignia as future!Dick's shield. Weird that.

While neither of the prior versions have the little glider-cape, I would like to note it's something future!Dick probably could've gotten a lot of use out of, given the way his sidekick usually carried him around.

.

So anyway, I have gone from being kinda tired of the mullet jokes to actively disliking them. Less jokes about the mullet, more jokes about the rat-tail please.

#Hmu if you wanna hear how FUCKING CREEPY Mirage was towards Dick before the writers decided that her treatment of him was funny actually. #Reading the whole Team Titans debacle feels like losing my goddamn mind. #(Justice for the Levine twins though; the change in writers did them so dirty and then they got erased from all of time.) #Also let me know if you want to hear about how Dick falling for Mirage's trick is 1000% believable actually given the circumstances. #I'm not adding it to this one because it would derail my main point & also involves my fucking nemesis: The Mid-Crisis Starfire Wedding Arc #// #dc mirage #teen titans #90s teen titans #90s titans #nightwing #dick grayson's mullet #nightwing's mullet #discowing #dick grayson #richard grayson #dick grayson's hair #dick grayson's fashion choices #dick grayson fashion disaster #nightwing dick grayson #nightwing!dick grayson #nightwing dick #nightwing!dick #Nightwing 95 #dick grayson's rattail #dick grayson's ponytail #nightwing's ponytail #nightwing's rattail #batfam #batfamily

[novelconcepts]

Do you ever just lay awake at night, turning over in your head the stark difference in delivery between Hewson's Van saying--steadily, unshakably--"it's just something that's happening to you...happening to us" and Cypress' Taissa saying--imploringly, whiningly--"this was not just my dream, this was our dream"?

Do you ever just turn it over and over, how often Tai tried to scare Van away, and how it only made Van set her feet more firmly? How Taissa's first love was this person who saw a problem fall into Taissa's lap, a problem that was quite literally trapped inside Taissa's body, and decided unflinchingly: No, that's an us problem now? How she refused point-blank to walk away even with blood in her mouth, how she flatly informed Tai "I'm never gonna be scared of you", and promptly turned a moment of pain into a declaration of love? And how this would etch itself into Taissa for the rest of her life? How she'd take these things that worked with Van--with the person Van was, with the bond they shared--and try so hard to run through an identical script with Simone?

Except Simone is her own person. A completely different kind of person. A person who hasn't been offered any of the context, any of the realities going on inside Taissa. So: naturally she doesn't respond the way Van did at eighteen--and will go on to do all over again in her forties. Naturally, she hears our dream as the excuse it is, not as a plea for connection. Naturally, she is scared away when Taissa pushes, and shouts, and begs. Because there isn't blood in her mouth, not yet, but there will be. And they have a son to worry about. And she isn't eighteen and a special kind of immortal, a special kind of romanticized. She's a grown woman with responsibilities, with priorities, with an understanding that you can't fix someone just because you love them. And Tai can't just perform a revival of the play she and Van had memorized twenty-five years later with a whole new performer in the works, and expect it to shake out the same.

Of course it doesn't work. But look at Taissa trying it. Look at Taissa trying to reframe her first love through a new lens. Trying to recast it. Trying to play it through again. Van taught her love was sticking out the blood, shaking off the pain, making a you problem into an us problem. Does it ever just eat at you, how tragic it is, watching Taissa try to shape her marriage around a woman who isn't even wearing a ring?

#yellowjackets #yj meta #taivan #sorry i'm just fucking obsessed with cypress' delivery choice in that scene #it is the most immature we EVER hear tai sound #and it's not teenage taissa. it's adult wife-mother-almost senator tai flat out whining in desperation #it is SUCH a choice #and then after the S2 opener to hear van sound so adult offering a glimpse as to WHY tai would #so pleadingly seek turning a Tai Thing into an Us Thing #yeah. yeah of course she would. because van shared the worst of her #van shared it without allowing tai to dissaude her. van quite literally tethered herself to tai's problems #and tai learned: that is what love is #and tai thought: this is what love is #it's sharing. and giving up on sharing is surrendering the whole thing #and she's lying! is the thing! she's lying to simone and to herself #she's making excuses for doing what she wants to do even though she shouldn't be doing it #but the core of it is Team. the core of it is Us. the core of it is #'if you love me you will be on my side. for better or worse.' #because that's what van did. for better. and for so much worse. #which isn't true. isn't actually how love works. love is sometimes putting your foot down and saying 'nah dude that ain't it.' #love is communication. but that was never taivan's game and it isn't tai's now and so she's just trying old plays #and it is NOT a play that can ever work the same with simone in the leading role. nor should it. #but god everything about them makes me so sad because simone deserves better and taissa needs what she won't admit to #anyway. will be absolutely gnawing at the walls until S3.

[possamble]

What are your headcanons about Marcille's mom if you have any? It's interesting that what drew Donato to her was cause she lived the history he studied, or that was said somewhere at least. She must've had an interesting life.

so this was going to be just a normal answer but then I realized I have a Lot of Things To Say. so here goes, a compilation of what we know for a fact from the canon, what I've extrapolated from the visual cues and details, and my theories based on all of that.

Things we know for a fact about Marcille's mother because they were explicitly stated in the manga and supplemental materials:

She was a court mage for a Tall-man kingdom at the southern part of the Northern Continent

Donato, a court historian, fell in love with her because she had lived through the history he was studying, and he courted her for 17 years (age 15 to 32) before getting married

She was a cheerful person who rarely showed extreme emotion and took things as they came

She always cooked a huge meal for Marcille on her birthdays

She remarried a gnome after Donato's death and a short distance away from Marcille's childhood home

Pipi, Marcille's pet bird, was actually older than Marcille and originally belonged to her mother (bird died at 62)

She was extremely heartbroken when Donato died and ultimately ended up instilling a deep fear of mortality in Marcille with her words

the only time she showed extreme emotion in front of her family was when Donato could no longer eat his favourite dish near the end of his life.

She scolded Marcille for being cruel to ants (implying she can have a stern side when needed)

Things that are explicitly shown but mostly through visual cues

She has a very distinctive style of dress always involving a ribbon choker (mirroring Marcille's habit of always wearing a matching choker with any of her outfits that don't cover her neck)

She was almost stereotypically good at housekeeping and traditionally "wifely" things (very frequently depicted wearing an apron or doing some domestic chore when not at work, seems to have been an avid cook).

She knits? (also, note the affectionate smile as she's looking at Donato and Marcille reading a book together in the full panel)

She was as excited for Marcille's milestones as Donato was.

She didn't tell Marcille much about elven food

(there are a couple things that this panel in particular implies:

She lived a good deal of her life (if not being born and raised) in a mainly elven country in the West, implied by her knowing enough of an elven region's cuisine to prefer Tall-man food over it

seems to have a pretty carefree and casual demeanour overall, if this is how she replied to Marcille asking her about it (sounds like she never gave her culinary preferences that much thought to begin with)

slightly related to number 2, it seems like she and Marcille had a fairly casual parent-child dynamic (especially in comparison to the Toudens' memory of their father)

(local elf tastes Italian food once and never goes back))

However, she seems a lot more... serious in most of the other times we see her? Almost like the very stereotypical archetype of a graceful elf.

Subsequent conclusions about her personality:

Usually pretty carefree and cheerful at home, has been a loving and attentive parent throughout Marcille's childhood (while not being so doting that she didn't discipline Marcille).

Slightly more conjectural theories on her personality:

Had a much more graceful and professional personality at work, which would explain the more serious portraits we see of her.

Given that both she and Donato had positions at the royal court, it seems a little odd that she'd go out of her way to do all the housework herself, so maybe she just enjoyed doing it?

Now taping all the evidence together and toeing the line between analysis and fanfiction:

It's clear that she loved Donato very much and was utterly devastated by losing him. But there's one thing that really stuck out to me in what little we see of her:

Doesn't she seem... angry? The way she's gritting her teeth, clutching the tablecloth, and how this is the first and only time we see her eyes opened that wide. In the following panel, you see her being quiet and dejected after her initial outburst. She's still crying very intensely, but her brows are furrowed, and she's not really responding to Donato's affection in her body language.

We're not told the details of how she felt about losing Donato other than that it upset her. But this, to me, implies that she was angry and resented that he was aging, that the end of his life was approaching. An "it's not fair" type of preemptive grief. And if this was the first and last time she cried like this in front of her family, she was either very good at coping in private... or very bad at letting herself feel unpleasant emotions until they become unavoidable and end up overwhelming her.

It's not too remarkable a detail on the surface. It's even reminiscent of what the audience has seen of Marcille. But... when it comes to the big picture, you'd think an elf who voluntarily chose to marry a tall-man and have a half-elf child would have been better prepared for this.

It kind of recontextualizes her cheerfulness to me.

"I'm sure everything's gonna be okay!" (or some variation thereof, depending on what translation you have).

And this is stated to contrast her extreme grief when finally confronting Donato's failing body and eventual death. But I'm wondering if... maybe this optimism was why she was so upset. What if she went into all of it thinking "everything's gonna be okay"? What if she was a little young by elven standards, and just followed her heart thinking that her own resilience would get her through anything?

Of course, only to get completely overwhelmed when she actually loses Donato. She turns into a completely different person. And that's heartbreaking on its own-- but what the audience sees is the effect it had on Marcille. Can you imagine being her, watching your invincible and upbeat mother suddenly lose all the light in her eyes in one go?

I've already made a huge post about how I think Marcille models her "work persona" off her mother, but another thing that stuck with me as I was looking for more details in the manga was this:

copy pasting from the other post i made about it lmao it's like... the second she resigns herself to lifelong pain and terror, there's another portrait of her mother facing her like this. with their heads bowed, in mirrored body language of resignation and despair and sorrow. Except it's posed like Marcille is still looking at her mother but her mother is looking away.

It took me a second to realize, but I think that it's a visual metaphor for the fact that Marcille's mother was the only long-lived role model she had-- and she failed to model healthy grief for her daughter. I don't say this as an accusation or to disparage her as a character, but just as a matter of fact. In her, Marcille was seeing herself older and losing a short-lived spouse or loved one of her own, and all she saw was hopelessness.

But her mother didn't mean to instill hopelessness and terror in her. She wasn't really thinking of how it would truly affect Marcille at all (at least, that's how I'm interpreting her looking down and away from Marcille in the metaphor), she was just sad. And she, in her own way, was trying to protect her daughter and help her prepare for future losses.

What she meant was "loss is inevitable, and you have to learn how to be in pain but live on anyway." What Marcille heard was "loss is inevitable, and you will be scared and hurt for the rest of your life."

Again. Marcille's mother doesn't feature explicitly in the story the way her father does -- but in so many ways, her shadow, her silhouette, her reflection is always hanging over Marcille.

All that to say... headcanon-wise (everything from here on is 100% without evidence lmao), I'd like to think that she matured and realized that she failed Marcille. I imagine her being regretful about it, wanting a chance to fix it but never finding a way to insert herself back into Marcille's life when Marcille is so so so busy becoming the most accomplished mage possible. I imagine her being herself again, now, so many years after her loss and after remarrying -- but with her cheerfulness tempered with a lot more wisdom and the pain of having gone through loss like that. I think the second Marcille actually tells her what happened in the dungeon, she'd want to go running to her daughter again -- if Marcille tells her the full truth instead of just being embarrassed she let things get that far. (oh, the tragedy of her wanting to be more like her mother and an accomplished adult who doesn't need to be babied... being embarrassed to actually tell her mother how much she fucked up...)

There's also the tension of her having remarried -- I know that there's at least a little bit of resentment that Marcille harbours about that, because she's childish like that at heart even if she makes an effort not to externalize it. I think that her mother would be aware of that, potentially adding to her sense of guilt and apprehension at trying to reappear/intrude on Marcille's life. I honestly don't think Marcille has met her stepfather -- or even considers him a stepfather rather than "mama's new husband" and kind of a total stranger. I think she and her mother actively don't talk about it in their correspondence, like an elephant in the room.

but, ultimately, I think her mother is on her side no matter what. Ancient magic? Dark necromancy? Sure, she'll feel guilty and like she was partially responsible for setting Marcille down such a painful path, but she wouldn't care. that's her daughter!! she would've moved back west and been petitioning for her at the court, buying a house right next to the Canaries barracks and visiting her every day that she wasn't on a mission. And if her husband had opinions on Marcille becoming a "dark arts user," he either gets over it or it's divorce with him. Yes, she might have had her optimism completely humbled by losing Donato like that -- but she's still headstrong and self-assured and she doesn't care what people think of her. It's her way or the highway and she's always going to be in Marcille's corner.

(She also needs a name lol. I went with Juno, just to be cute about "Marcille"s closest real life equivalent being Marcella, which is the female version of Marcellus, which in turn is a diminutive of Marcus, which was derived from Mars. Absolutely in love with Marcille potentially being named after Ares/Mars the fucking god of war btw)

#asks #she could easily be interpreted as distant or neglectful after Donato's death too #with how little involvement she has in Marcille's life/the fact that Marcille doesn't even mention her when talking about her life prospect #and that's fair! I will argue to hell and back that she was a loving parent when Donato was alive #but there's nothing that suggests she remained a loving parent afterwards #I just think that like... parental relationships are so complicated in dungeon meshi #you cannot deny that the toudens' mother loved them dearly but that she failed them both miserably as a parent #and i think it'd be more compelling if Marcille's mother was a little like that too #not a totally and easily dismissable deadbeat #but someone who truly loves her daughter but was only human herself and couldn't be what Marcille needed at a crucial moment #and regrets it deeply #and that the distance between them is mutually self-imposed by complicated feelings of guilt and fear #and a little resentment from Marcille's side that she hasn't really properly processed #I don't know if I'll ever get around to writing it but i had this idea where Marcille does finally spill the beans to her mom and she just #immediately arrives in Melini #and its awkward for a bit but they do finally have a heart to heart and air it all out #and marcille starts freaking out that her marriage is rocky rn bc her new husband wants her to distance herself from marcille #on account of the crimes and all #marcille's like no you can't blow up your marriage for me and her mother just shuts that shit down #'you didn't choose to be born. i was the one who made that choice for you' #'i brought you into this world and i'll be damned if i don't take responsibility for that the entire way' #'you are entitled to *nothing less* than my unconditional love.' #and obviously that's not a sentiment that's exactly healthy as a universal statement about parenthood #but i think its what her mother would believe and what marcille needs to hear #and dungeon meshi does such a fantastic job at just... letting imperfect things just *be* without having to justify it immediately #it expects the audience to do their own critical thinking #and know that its not trying to make sweeping universal statements in every instance #marcilleposting #marcille donato

[bonefall]

Willowpelt sounds SO autistic, it not being funny wraps around into being funny again.

My secret is being so autistic and so surrounded by so many other autistic people that I forget what tismless people even do. Everyone in BB ends up getting a touch of ADHDautism. As a treat.

But yeah when I was jotting it down I realized it too. Like wow, I really hit this one with the autism beam. Me and you, Willy, we will both have adamantine opinions. I cannot condone your hatred of apples but you do have a good point about oak trees.

#Me and Willow are going to have the funniest relationship about those apples #Like wtf girl you haven't had good apples. No i wont force them on you but you're so wrong #It cant even be a texture thing if youre NOT weird about pears #What the hell kind of apples are you eating that are always a little bitter #Fennelposting #My partner has an inverse autism to mine #Which at one point we called dog and cat autism #Because im mr THEY ASKED FOR NO PICKLES #PREPARE FOR 30 MINUTES OF PICKLE RELATED INFODUMPING IN PENANCE #And theyre like If i accidentally make eye contact with a single person in the room i will run away to a monastary and breed pea plants #Which ngl i think would be the funniest way to write Whitewillow #Fire: white is the best choice for deputy! He's so wise and organized and knows exactly how to talk to people #White looks up from his detailed gamefaq guide on How To Win At Talking To Real People which he wrote himself #'I Would Be Honored Thank You.' #Hes organized because if anything is even slightly different he hears The Sirens go off in his brain lmao #Small says 'firestar is still cursed bc he was appointed after moonhigh. I dont respect his deputy either.' #Willow: 'you will join starclan in 7 days but ill make sure ur not late'

[half-lightl]

POSTERS INSPIRED BY MY MOST PLAYED SONGS FROM FITF BY LOUIS TOMLINSON (ACCORDING TO LASTFM) (pt. 1) ALL THIS TIME LUCKY AGAIN SATURDAYS

#dailytomlinson #louistomlinsoncouk #theonedeepalsedit #louis tomlinson #hlcreators #misediciones #fitf #lt2 #I know what the next two are gonna be but i'm still not sure about the sixth one mmm #anyway i started making these in early december but i just muster up the energy to finish them today. i'm always just so tired tired tireddd #can you all believe saturdays exists???? that song is my main baby at the moment #spotify made me do the 2024 future playlist thingy i added saturdays as my choice for ''song i need to hear live this year'' #let's pray it happens!!!! #fitfposters #credits for the ticket vector: https://www.rawpixel.com/image/2849758/free-illustration-png-movie-frame-cartoon-cuteeyJrZXlzIjoidGlja2V0Iiwi #gfxorcollages*

[you-makestedehappy]

Line deliveries that play on repeat in my brain.

Season 1, episode 3 - A Gentleman Pirate

🐈‍⬛❤️‍🩹🍆💦🏴‍☠️ [ep 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10]

Bonus :

#look you cannot imagine how heartwrenching it was to make those choices #also don't ask me about the balls for days it's just what happens in my mind every time i hear that line #this ep's close-calls are : #“Oh Edward - can't I just send the boys?” #“Well-sussed!” #“I'm glad you're making friends but TIGHTEN UP mate.” #“It's juice. From the nose jar.” #“Did you mean to do that?” #i can just HEAR all of them so clearly. damn it i'm in too deep #ofmd #our flag means death #my gifs