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#you're gonna have to deal lol
sonicshipbattles · 7 months
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Preliminaries
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This poll is for the ship of Knuckles/chili dogs/Sonic from any media where all three concepts exist vs Knuckles/Sonic specifically All ships included were submitted to us. This tournament does not accept insults towards either ship - use propaganda to uplift your fave, not put down the opponent
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wyattjohnston · 2 years
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arsonist-chicken · 6 months
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hopefully my last flatmate rant but hello this is not a drill, I got a spot in a student dormitory!! I'll know tomorrow when exactly I can move in but it will probably be very soon, and as soon as I know, I'm letting my landlord know I'm leaving and why exactly and be petty as hell on my way out and enjoy my new freedom 🥳🥳🥳
#it's a dorm by the airport so let's see if the windows there rattle like the ones in my old dorm did lol#it's a single bedroom with a shared bathroom and floor-wide shared kitchens which is not the room I was hoping for but#it's cheaper than my room now and maybe I can move to one with a kitchenette in march and until then it's fine#i've spent five years in a dormitory with shared kitchens; it's fine#let's see if 'the stench' miraculously disappears when I tell those [redacted] I'm leaving and they'll coincidentally have someone#they want to move in here. i kinda hope so just because it would mean less effort to find a new tenant for me#and my friend suggested letters to the neighbors saying goodbye and telling them who's been putting wine bottles in the plastic trash#and slamming doors at 2am#which i probably will. yeah. those two have made my life really unpleasant in just six weeks to the point I'm moving out#of an apartment I really like that's conveniently located and has a balcony. I'm gonna be petty when I leave.#mine#anywayyyyyyyyyyyyy you're all invited to my new dorm room to celebrate my new freedom#bring your own bed or sleeping bag as I am now back to a single instead of double bed; also maybe all just sit on the floor#we can stack up on the bed like pancakes I guess#hehehehe off I go hopefully very very soon to people who don't mock me daily and make me want to not go home#I technically really don't have time to move right now but oh well I'll make time#jess' flatmate rants#there'll be another one I'm sure but I can deal with anything now knowing I get to leave soon
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shepherdenjoyer · 3 months
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"Contextualising the weaponisation of dogs at Europe’s borders today within a much longer history of racial violence, the article shows how canines have been systematically deployed by colonial and white supremacist powers against racialised bodies as tools to enact and secure racial order."
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hayaku14 · 1 year
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pushing daisies kaishin au #1
shinichi was killed by aptx 4869 but for some reason kaito was in tropical land as well and passed by where shinichi's dead body was, touched him, and brought him back to life.
kaito is aware he can bring dead things back to life with one touch since he was a kid. he’s also aware that the second touch will kill it again. permanently.
he has most of his resurrection experiences with his doves and flowers
the thought that he could possibly resurrect a human did cross his mind but what's the use when the one person he wanted to bring back didn't even have a body left to touch
so sue him if he accidentally touches a dead body he previously thought was someone just passed out.
there's a noticeable red glow that shines on the stranger that has happened enough to his doves and flowers he revived before to know exactly what he has done.
shinichi wakes up disoriented but completely sure that the searing heat and the pain on his chest earlier should've killed him yet there he was, alive. with a splitting headache and a bad taste in his mouth, yes, but alive.
kaito dumbly opens with, "you're alive...oh FUCK, you were dead!"
shinichi who still can’t see straight says, “which one is it, i can’t tell.”
shinichi sits up and tries to steady himself on the wall but instead weakly flails his hand towards kaito.
"NO! DON’T TOUCH ME!"
“okay...i’m not sure if i’m dead or not but i’m pretty sure i’m not contagious.”
kaito puts on his KID gloves and pulls shinichi up who's still looking dazed and confused.
"listen, i know you're a little disoriented what with all th- shit! your head is bleeding. okay *deep breathes* come with me but do NOT touch me."
"you're the one holding my hand"
"not the UNCLOTHED parts of me"
"I wasn't planning to 😒"
"OH MY GOD 🙄"
i still have 2 other variations of pushing daises kaishin au left ;)
#kaishin#kuroba kaito#kudou shinichi#dcmk#detective conan#dc prattles#im not adding the 'someone else dies when you let someone you revived live for more than a minute' rule because im gods weakest soldier lmao#but that's also a really great factor to think about if you want to go the super very angsty route#anyways this been in the drafts since forever cos i havent finished the other 2 but oh well here you go have this silly au#also also toichi 'died' and there's no body so kaito won't even be able to revive him one last time ;-;#i say 'died' cos i dont really know if this man is really dead or not lmao#ANYWAYS now shinichi needs to disappear#idk how but shinichi ends up staying with kaito and also finding out that he's kid#shinichi describes to kaito that the people who did that to him were 'men in black' and immediately kaito assumes it might be snake and co#im thinking maybe since agasa isn't there to talk some sense into him that shinichi would be like 'im gonna hunt them down as myself!'#and kaito is like BITCH YOU DON'T KNOW WHO YOU'RE DEALING WITH#kaito gets frustrated and ends up vaguely implying that he knows who tried to kill him#OFC BEFORE ALL THIS SHINICHI QUESTIONS KAITO ABOUT WHAT TF HAPPENED COS HE'S 99.9% SURE HE WAS DEAD lol#again since im gods weakest soldier and pandora is deus ex machina my beloved LOL#a way to revive shinichi properly is through pandora or maybe make kaito lose his power#IDK I JUST WANT THEM TO KISS AND MAKE OUT SO PANDORA DO YOUR IMMORTALITY THING IDC!!!!!!#THAT FUCKING PLASTIC WRAP KISS FROM THE ACTUAL SHOW WONT FLY WITH ME I NEED KAISHIN SUCKING FACE LMAOOO#anyways theres 2 more different pushing daises kaishin au in the draftsssss#they get angstier ayooo!!!
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oculusxcaro · 8 months
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Paper tissues white as snow come away bloody, the consistency of what she dabs away being so dark and thick it's more like tar than blood. Gradually her coughing fit recedes, lungs burning like fire as the flow of oxygen resumes though it's obvious from the way she looks that Khare's not feeling any better. She's not well, eyes dull and glassy as she tiredly cleans herself up. "M'sorry about that. It's... not contagious, promise."
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dykethang · 1 month
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god i wish i could just avoid going to therapy right now but they'll cut my funding for a year if i miss too many appointments. but i'm really Not feeling It
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unproduciblesmackdown · 9 months
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more info, via a couple of reviews:
"Is this the best, most exhilarating, most close-to-perpetual dancing ever to grace the Goodspeed Opera House stage?
It certainly could be.
The new stage adaptation of “Summer Stock” at the East Haddam theater has plenty to recommend it in terms of the canny script and the hummable songs. But it’s the dancing that leaves the biggest impression.
The show is jam-packed with choreography from Donna Feore, who also directs, that is thrillingly executed by the cast.
We’re talking: Gravity-defying kicks. Head-spinning turns. Male dancers lifting and tossing and catching the female ones. It runs the gamut from Cossack-dance athleticism to soft shoe grace, tap precision to Lindy hop energy.
How the cast manages to sing after executing these (literally) breathtaking numbers, I have no idea.
And how do they make it through two performances on some days? Amazing.
Also amazing: the fact that they do all this on Goodspeed’s small stage without making the space feel cramped.
So, yes, the dancing is phenomenal. But there’s more to the show than that.
This stage version of “Summer Stock” — which is enjoying its world premiere at Goodspeed — is inspired by the 1950 MGM movie starring Judy Garland and Gene Kelly. Writer Cheri Steinkellner, though, has reimagined the piece in many ways, making it better, stronger and propelled by a more modern sensibility. (Steinkellner’s writing credits range from “Cheers” to the Broadway adaptation of “Sister Act.”)
The foundational story, though, remains the same: A no-nonsense young woman named Jane is trying to save her family farm. Her actress sister (named Gloria in the version at Goodspeed) brings her compatriots to the farm to rehearse a show. Jane first spars with and then starts falling for Gloria’s beau Joe, the production’s director.
Steinkellner has also changed up the score, to great effect. While some tunes from the movie remain, she has pulled others that are in the public domain (such as “Accentuate the Positive,” “Paper Moon” and “It Had to Be You”), and she has woven them perfectly into various plot points and important emotional moments.
As director, Feore makes sure the whole enterprise has a dynamic spirit. It’s a story and a production that brims with optimism and cheerfulness.
Leading the cast is Corbin Bleu, who became famous with his work in “High School Musical” and has gone on to star in several Broadway shows, as Joe. Bleu is a true, and truly talented, triple-threat. He has a warm, welcoming presence as an actor; he also brings an authority to Joe so you believe he’s someone the actors respect and will follow. Bleu’s singing is strong and lustrous, and his dancing — particularly his tremendous tap ability — is … wow.
Arguably the biggest scene-stealer here is Veanne Cox, as the wealthy, snooty owner of huge property surrounding Jane’s. The way she trills dialogue can turn anything into a punchline. She can wave her arms about as her character repeats “l’amour” and generate audience laughs. When her character falls for the egoistic actor Montgomery Leach (played by J. Anthony Crane with Barrymore flair), Cox burbles with girlish romantic giddiness.
Danielle Wade does her own take on the Judy Garland role. She gives Jane a swagger and a tough façade that reveals a more human self during the course of the story. Wade’s most important feature is her voice, which is potent whether she’s finessing a ballad or powering through a big number. While she can’t compete with Garland’s renowned version of “Get Happy” (who could?), Wade does a good job in the number — choreographed and costumed in an homage to the original — that serves as the culmination of the production.
Arianna Rosario gets to play an interesting arc at Gloria. At first, Gloria seems to be a blithe, self-centered actress, but she later shows that she is quite the problem-solving producer. Rosario makes the transformation believable, as if Gloria is finally letting her real self come through.
The scenic design by Wilson Chin suggests the various elements of a Connecticut River Valley farm in the 1950s while still allowing room for the cast to burst into all of those big dance numbers. And the costume design by Tina McCartney provides a fun and functional take on country clothing of the era.
I will say that the second act could be tightened up (we don’t need to see so many beats of the rehearsal process), but, in total, this “Summer Stock” is sensational." [source]
(hooray for most directly explaining gloria's overall arc)
and the next review:
"A throwback to the golden age of Broadway and movie musicals, "Summer Stock" is a timeless, inspiring song-and-dance tale of good deeds, fairy tale showbiz, classic romance and backstage intrigue played out to such dazzling effect, you want to freeze frame it, take it home with you and watch it over and over again for pure fun and a let's-put-a-smile-on-your-face endorsement. This is Goodspeed Musicals at its best - old-fashioned musical entertainment designed to deliver by the bucket's load, stir the senses, rhythmically intoxicate you and dance up a continual storm of good cheer that's guaranteed to leave you breathless.
Animated. Airborne. Magical. Sweet-natured. Fresh-faced. Dance happy. It's all here, wrapped up in shiny gold ribbons and signature colors that complement and complete the picture with a technicolor flourish, a big bang and an internal logic that flows with appropriate style, stamina, full command and intent.
Adapted to the stage by Cheri Steinkellner, "Summer Stock" replays that popular let's- put-on-a-show conceit where everything rests of the big opening night, the box-office intake, the big kiss between the leading man and the leading lady and how a complete unknown saves the day right before the final fadeout. Here, struggling Connecticut farmer Jane Falbury decides to let her actress sister Abigail and her actor friends from New York use the family barn as a rehearsal space for their brand-new Broadway bound musical in exchange for doing the daily farm chores to raise enough money to keep the business from going completely under. One slight problem. During rehearsals, Jane finds herself falling for the show's handsome director, Joe Ross, who, happens to be engaged to the show's leading lady - her sister Abigail.
Staging "Summer Stock," director Donna Feore ("Chicago," "Billy Elliot," "A Chorus Line"), who doubles as choreographer, creates a loveable, intoxicating show that reels you in, grabs hold of you until the final curtain and lets you fall in love with every little detail, surprise, plot twist, joke, visual gag, one-liner and tilt of her jolly agenda while she articulates every element of this musical story with thrust, warmth, spin and splendid articulation. Directorially, she pulls it off spectacularly. No wrong moves here as "Summer Stock" catches fire with a spark, a gusto, a shine and a 1950s mentality infused with plenty of imagination, originality, style and flair.  More importantly, the production never loses sight of its origins, its functional plotting and its love of musicals of yesteryear despite well-intentioned doses of kitsch, takeaway humor, giddy backchat and story arcs right out of the MGM library of backlot moviemaking.  Feore, free spirit that she is, fuels the musical with a sharpened wit and sentiment that works especially well as does her decision to let "Summer Stock" remain rooted in the period from whence it came in terms of staging, development, expression and interaction. 
Moving from screen to stage," "Summer Stock" retains only four songs from the 1950 MGM musical. The addition of several new songs to the original version of the score turns the two-act musical into more of a showstopping event and adds clarity, luster and vintage spin to its already proven material, its let's launch into another song and dance routine blueprint and its firm grasp on characterization, story evolution and its happily ever after conclusion. At Goodspeed, there are 28 important, recognizable, smartly placed musical numbers. They are:  "Get Happy," "Happy Days Are Here Again/I Want to Be Happy," "Accentuate the Positive," "I'm Always Chasing Rainbows," "Always," "Always (reprise)," "It's Only a Paper Moon," "The Best Things in Life Are Free," "Dig for Your Dinner," "Me and My Shadow," "Howdy Neighbor, Happy Harvest," "Red Hot Mama," " 'Til We Meet Again," "You Wonderful You," "June Night," "Some of These Days," "Joe's Dance," "I'm Always Chasing Rainbows (reprise)," "It All Depends on You," "Always (reprise)," "Everybody Step," "Lucky Day," "How Ya Gonna Keep 'Em Down on the Farm," "Hinky-Dinky Parlez Vouz," "It Had to Be You," "Get Happy (reprise)" and "You Wonderful You (Finale)."
Musical director Adam Souza ("42nd Street," "Cabaret," "Next to Normal," "A Grand Night for Singing," "Because of Winn Dixie," "Rags") grabs hold of the "Summer Stock" score and allows it to breathe, gesticulate, excite, envelop and rhapsodize with the golden age sentimentality of MGM movie musicals and the timeless, larger-than-life spirit of old Broadway. Here, every song matters. Every song is important. Every song travels down memory lane. Every song is tuned to the max with sweet, centered, warm-heartedness. Every song fulfills its intended purpose. All of this is complemented by the strong, flavorful sound of Souza's orchestral team, all of whom share his tremendous sense of theatricality, musical interlude, impassioned communication and delight of the actual musical itself.  They are: David Uhl (bass), Sal Ranniello (percussion), Liz Baker Smith (reed 1), Andrew Studenski (reed II), Travis Higgins III (trumpet) and Matthew Russo (trombone). As with other Goodspeed musicals, Souza doubles as conductor and keyboardist. As "Summer Stock" zings and pops, pretty music every song unfolds with a contagious orchestral musical glow, matched by the splendid musicality of the entire cast who address the catchy, homespun music and lyrics with perfect harmony, rhythm, phrasing and nostalgic commitment. These elements heighten the on-stage mode of the production, its progression from Act I to Act II, its send offs, its pastiche and its electrifying, barn-raising influence and thwack.
As with any big stage musical, choreography is key to a production's success, its fluidity of form, its artistic expression and its accompanying dance routines. Here, Feore, as choreographer, gives "Summer Stock" a highly personal touch of invigoration and speedy excitement that is tipped and generated with wonderfully elongated inspiration, stamina and determination. This is star quality choreography that peaks, shines and tilts with clever build ups, catchy dance steps and bold, concentrated rhythms, moves and beats that joyfully celebrate 1950's musicals in all their technicolor glory.   As storyteller and dance interpreter, she brings great dimension and scope to the piece using techniques, styles, descriptions and an enriched canvas of thoughts and ideas that make their mark most engagingly. Everything that happens on the Goodspeed Musicals stage has been beautifully blocked, rehearsed and staged with such thrust and individuality, no two dance numbers are alike. In fact, once "Summer Stock" catches fire, there's no stopping it.  Creating a freshly minted fusion of moods, tableaus, lifts, twirls and swirls, Feore pays homage to the actual vintage look and mindset of the musical, its dance-friendly art form and its free-flowing feel of excitement and exhilaration. Hands pop. Arms move heavenward. Dancers smile and glisten as they passionately ignite into joyful visions of sweetness, passion, frenzy and syncopation. Everyone is lost in the moment illustrating the traditions, the conscience and the power of musical theatre, giving and getting the most out of Feore's phenomenal, ovation-worthy choreography. Trained, drilled and confident, they each get a chance to shine - and shine they do - all making strong impressions that will live long in memory.
Making his Goodspeed Musicals debut, Corbin Bleu, as Joe Ross, a character originated by Gene Kelly in the 1950 film version, creates a "Wow!" song-and-dance-man factor chock full of charm, personality, self-confidence and full-beam, champagne delightness that astounds, cajoles and sparkles with leading man gait and luxury like no other. No matter what he does, he's a proverbial triple-threat (i.e., a player who excels at acting, singing and dancing) who makes everything that happens on stage feel fresh, spontaneous, real, raw and very much in the moment. It's in his eyes. It's in his moves. It's in his expressions. Exhibiting a sweet, contagious rapport that extends far beyond the footlights, it's the performance of the year and one that Bleu exudes with a Gene Kelly/Fred Astaire aura of showbiz savvy, knockabout whimsy, graceful athleticism and sterling encapsulation. "Joe's Dance," a solo dance number in Act II performed by Bleu only furthers that notion.
In the role of Jane Falbury, a role made famous by Judy Garland in the original "Summer Stock" MGM musical, Danielle Wade lights up the Goodspeed Musicals stage with a breezy, intuitive musical comedy performance of real warmth and spirit that is a constant joy to watch. Veanne Cox, cast in the role of the wickedly devious Connecticut farming magnate Margaret Wingate, is jaw-dropping brilliant, using humor, music, dance and melodrama in divinely daft and glorious ways that prompt applause and laughter whenever she's in the limelight. It's a scene-stealing performance so seamlessly entrenched in glee and fiery abandon, Cox, would be the ideal choice to play narcissistic Broadway diva Dee Dee Allen in the 2024 summer presentation of "The Prom" at Playhouse in Park in West Hartford. I'll personally deliver the contract. Other memorable performances are delivered by Arianna Rosario (Gloria Falbury), Stephen Lee Anderson (Henry "Pop" Falbury), Gilbert L. Bailey II (Phil Filmore), Will Roland (Orville Wingate) and J. Anthony Crane (Montgomery Leach). A musical escape brimming with delightful songs, engaging performances and full-beam dance numbers, "Summer Stock" is not only a bubbly tonic for theatergoers of all ages, but one that kicks nostalgia into high gear with uncomplicated bliss, fizz and vintage sparkle. It sings. It dances. It pops. It dazzles. Like "42nd Street" which played Goodspeed Musicals last season, it overflows with Kelly/Astaire lightness, punch and precision, sunny vibes and well-played exactitude. The energy displayed here is fast and furious with first-night exhilaration and thrill paired especially well with Corbin Bleu's charming star turn, Danielle Wade's joyous "Get Happy" abandon and Veanne Cox's well-prepped, icy cool villain. This is musical theatre of the highest order - infectious, irresistible, glorious. Its leave-your-troubles-at-the-door/Let's-put-on-a-show mentality accelerates with sparkle and cherry pie goodness. And boy, do we need it now!" [source]
(the reference to jane's sister abigail uses the film's names: abigail becomes gloria in this production, which is the name of abigail's actor in the film, which also mirrors how the role of herb is now phil, also the name of herb's actor in the film)
(also shoutout to providing A Full, Chronological List Of Songs. noting that according to another interview, intermission would be between "you wonderful you" and "june night")
#summer stock#dearth of peak relevant info for our purposes otherwise lol but hey#pressing f for danielle wade's performance Tending to be juxtaposed w/either corbin bleu's or judy garland's#which in fact doesn't always mean their going ''eh comes up short Relative to that comparison but good enough'' but yknow#also that role just isn't gonna be designed to be the most thrilling lol...let's get those character(tm) parts babeyyy#further photos of that preview performance do suggest there's more like midshow conflict b/w jane & gloria vs Only getting along great....#and intrigued here if it's like yeah gloria can be written to have Flaws kiiinda like the film dunking on her though not as much as it#(though not as much as it might've; parallel to orville; relevant to their compatibility lol though in this show it indeed just might not#go for ''conveniently gloria's also always already liked him & orville's just glad someone's being nice to him'' lmao. & in fact yes the#material already in the film was like hm sure could be the queer readings in these ''so you're doing cishettery wrong'' roles here#and going aw man wrt the comedy boys herb/phil & orville/orville not getting to interact more#herb getting to make One reference to kinda being the outsider/misfit even amongst the troupe like hey more abt that? what's your job also#meanwhile yeah you can do something like ''oh gloria has this idea re: being The Star but isn't actually as interested in that Process''#but that then instead of that Just being her at odds w/jane & her coming up short she can have her own arc still#finding out what behind the scenes work she Does want to do; jane & gloria of course ending up being mutually supportive one imagines#rather than jane Just being freer from Dealing With her lesser sister or what have you; whom can graciously enough accept this#and ofc we don't Need the partner swaps for everyone's guaranteed happiness communicated through ''they're not single''#whilest the lack of [oh this backup relationship was here the whole time kind of] does make your potential love triangle trickier then lol#hence perhaps some more significant conflict if you're like kissing your sister's date or what have you & she can't Just(tm) have yours#but then being The Lead can't be the ultimate of All [doing theatre]; having kissing status w/a guy isn't the ultimate of all Arcs/Life#(though noting tim wasn't Relieved if another ostensibly straight romance; a cliche in the modern musical; wasn't shoehorned in there...)#(also the awkward notes about Male Dancers and The Female Ones like alright? supposed relevance Where?)#long post ///
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elytrafemme · 1 year
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so me and my parents are out looking for houses in the area, right, that are reasonably priced. because obviously i did not specify where i was to you all because internet security but we might end up centralized here as a family right. so we were looking and this area is... generally a pretty expensive place with an expensive real estate industry. and there’s a lot of privilege in the fact that my family is financially stable and well off enough to be looking here and i do realize that but i mean obviously we are not made of fucking money and we’re working on a budget for one house right.
anyway one of the agents casually dropped in the middle of the conversation that she owns five houses and. i cannot describe it to you the psychological response i had to that
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Okay someone is going to be offended but whatever like fine if you find yourself as a lesbian thinking someone is hot and find out later they're a man and not a butch but like the way y'all are openly just pushing the idea that lesbians like men sometimes as if that's totally fine and that the man you thought was a butch is still okay to fuck knowing they're a man.
#like no stop this shit#i get mistaking people#i saw someone i thought was a dude but would make a hot butch at an airport#i actively did not pursue them or become interested bc i thought they were a man#but later they ended up sitting next to me on the plane and turns out they were butch!#then i was like oh fuck yes and my brain did some somersaults lol#but like if you find someone hot and it turns out they're a man like that's okay but like don't continue to pursue them?#the fact that you want to continue pursuing a man and still find them sexually attractive after that makes you bi/pan#like that's okay!!#i'm so tired of the word lesbian being watered down bc people who should not be identifying as lesbian find the label to be too rigid#like then maybe you are bi/pan and that would give you the freedom you're looking for#but everyone wants to be a lesbian soooo badly for some reason#you guys do know that the rest of the gbtq+/queer community is just as 'gay' right??#like i'm not seeing bi/pan men (trans or not) trying to force being a gay man#i'm not seeing droves of people wanting to id as bi or pan or any other label#what is it about lesbians that you all feel the need to insert yourselves into our community and make things more palatable??#fuck off and leave lesbians alone!!#like you guys writing all this crap about lesbians being attracted to twinks/gay men is making the whole 'bi lesbian' thing worse too!!#just stop it!! lesbians don't like men like that and you're just gonna have to deal with it and find a better label for yourself#if lesbian is too rigid and confining for you then you are not a lesbian#you are some other sexuality#why would you wanna be a lesbian if it's too rigid anyway?? just be the thing that fits you better? sapphic or bi or pan or whatev#t4t even if you're mostly into trans people and fuck the gender thing#see there's something for everyone so stop inserting yourselves into lesbianism if you're not a lesbian!#rant over#kfi txt#lesbian#butch#and before anyone has a meltdown i'm not a terf just a tired lesbian who loves being a lesbian (which includes trans women)
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wtf-amiru · 1 year
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Miqo March: Day 4
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Oh the journey you've been on already my dear
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xproskeith · 8 months
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Thinking about something my best man said on my bachelor trip:
"I don't think you realize how exceptional it is that you have 9 guys willing to show up for you like this and who you're this close to at our age. You put forth extraordinary effort to maintain your friendships."
And I have The Feels.
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kenobihater · 1 year
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could you tell me more about vaslav nijinsky? I'm also bipolar and your posts/tags about him have piqued my interest
bipolar gang!! and i'm far from an expert, i really just know of him from the frank bidart poem the war of vaslav nijinsky and some cursory wikipedia research following me devouring said poem. it's a masterful poem, but tws for abuse and mental breakdowns. i do know that @sneakysnijinskyresearch has compiled a bunch of things on him for research on a student film, so i'd head there if you want a list of resources that can do him justice! nijinsky also wrote a diary while psychotic which has been published and i just found out about today. i'm ordering the unexpurgated edition :^)
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gentlethorns · 11 months
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fuck dude i have got to find a job where i can be self-employed and creative. i cannot be in fucking retail hell anymore
#she bork#tbd#like now i don't deal w customers which is cool but now that i work at like a big retail store and not a little mall outlet the pressure is#insane. and i have bosses who never say good job or thank you and who have set me up to fail by throwing a department on me that i was not#hired to run or trained for and frankly don't have time to run properly either. so every week just starts w me in our weekly meeting being a#fucking piñata like 'why didn't you get this done 🤨 you need to manage your time better 🤨 you're losing sales 🤨' and i'm like i'm trying!!!!#what more can i do!!!!!! and then the side of it i actually kind of enjoy (which is what i was originally hired to do) is very very hard on#my body bc it's a very physical job (i run the team that unloads the trucks every day and like i'm usually helping unload bc i'm not just#gonna stand there and watch while my team busts their asses lol) and now i'm finding out that it's actually not normal to wake up every day#w your joints screaming and stiff and that i might have a chronic condition (doctor is thinking some sort of chronic inflammatory arthritis#but i won't know if my imaging and blood tests showed anything until like mid-june) and i'm like. so even the part of my job that i don't#mind as much is not good bc it's like actively destroying my body. okay sick 🤠 and i don't wanna quit bc i've only been there for like#eight months and this job would be really valuable on a resume but i don't want it to look like i'm a job hopper or like i'm fickle or#unreliable. so i'm stuck here for a while i think. but the pressure is destroying me mentally and i know i need to find a position somewhere#else that is 1. not fucking goddamn retail bc retail will always be hell and 2. not management bc i don't see myself ever really getting#into upper management but lower/middle management gets shit on the most so if i go somewhere else and end up in middle management i'll be#right back to wanting to kill myself in a matter of months. basically i'm tired of expectations and pressure and stress and i'm tired of#waking up at fucking 2:30 every morning just to go in and get shit on and destroy my body all over something that in the end i do not fuckin#care about. i need to make art and be held accountable by only myself. idk i've been toying w the idea of learning how to tattoo and trying#to start establishing some artistic skill so maybe eventually i can do that? not now bc the economy sucks and that's scary lol and anyway i#have to give myself some time to actually learn the skill and perfect a style. but it makes decent money (at least before the expense of#supplies and taxes) and allows you to travel and still work and also it would be fun. and i could tattoo myself so it would cut some#expenses for me since i cannot stay away from the damn needle. idk lol i need to save some money before i buy a tattoo gun or anything but#i'm considering it bc i am going fucking crazy rn and ik this feeling will leave me eventually but i also know it will come back bc it#always does. and i'm tired of just surviving and just making it through every day and every week like i want to be happy and this is just#not doing it for me anymore#ugh fuck why couldn't i have been born w a brain that likes numbers and code and technology. i love being an artist but it makes finding a#sustainable career really difficult bc i feel so restless and miserable when i'm stuck in a passionless job but my passions are not#particularly profitable. hate it here why wasn't i born a capybara no job no responsibility just squint and squeak and sun
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iamnotawomanimagod · 1 year
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trying to draw a guy in 2020 vs in 2022 :3c
ooo improvement babeyyy, before last year i really could not draw more masculine characters so i’m sooo glad i can do that now :D 
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