#zykamiliah posted this

[zykamiliah]

when will ao3 come back from the abyss

#ao3 #ao3 memes #svsss #svsss meme #zykamiliah-svsss #zykamiliah posted this

[mxtxfanatic]

@zykamiliah Ok bear with me because I’m just writing off the top of my head.

I think I misspoke a little in the tags on your post: I don’t think Shen Yuan attributes all of his good deeds and skills to Shen Jiu throughout the novel; I think he attributes them to Shen Qingqiu the Character. Now, walk with me a little:

I like playing video games, especially those in which I can customize my own characters. Two such games are The Sims and Dragon Age. In The Sims, you can create your own character from scratch, meaning you are in charge of their looks, their personality, their backstory, their narrative, and life progression. You are in charge of everything if you so choose to be. Dragon Age, however, is not like that. You get to decide what your character looks like (to an extent), but you don’t get to create a backstory. You can decide romance but you are not in control of the story beats of those romances, just the choices you make in them. You can influence certain aspects of your character, but they will always go through certain events and always arrive at a predestined conclusion. How does this apply to Shen Yuan? Well, he’s just been stuffed into the character of a seemingly Dragon Age-type narrative.

Shen Yuan doesn’t get to decide Shen Qingqiu’s backstory. He doesn’t get to decide what his story designation is; he is automatically assigned the “scum villain” role. He doesn’t even get to decide Shen Qingqiu’s personality until he unlocks the ooc function. Shen Qingqiu is already a teacher, he is already a powerful cultivator with a renowned name, sword, skills, and he is already Luo Binghe’s abuser that will eventually throw him into the Endless Abyss, all story points that are unchangeable. And Shen Yuan is fully aware of this—uncomfortably so, in fact, with how the system exists to monitor his every move in order to keep him “on track.” It’s not unreasonable, therefore, for him to believe that this predestination applies to everything and everyone else, so much so that he believes that his small acts of kindness can only serve as pockets of reprieve for the “characters” before the predestined hardship arrives, nothing more.

But, as we find out, these “small acts of kindness” are narrative-changing—much stronger than the so-called predestination—and it is the formerly stated awareness and surveillance that leads Shen Yuan to be unable to see this, disregarding the tangable ways that his style of playing Shen Qingqiu has altered the narrative written by the author and upheld by the system. This applies to as early as Ning Yingying’s bolder personality and as late as Luo Binghe’s corruption by Xin Mo. It’s probably very significant that just how much the world of pidw had diverged from the original book is revealed to Shen Yuan only after Shen Qingqiu the Character self-destructs and Shen Yuan resurrects himself using the plant body. From that point on, he has to contend with how his actions have changed things, how Luo Binghe has been changed by him, enamored with him—not Shen Qingqiu the Character—and how, actually, the book he has transmigrated into doesn’t have a predestined ending because he has broken everything wide open.

And this isn’t to say that Shen Yuan doesn’t fully see himself as Shen Qingqiu, but it’s the difference between seeing himself as a part of Shen Qingqiu vs. seeing Shen Qingqiu as a part of himself. “Luo Binghe can’t love me because Shen Qingqiu is his scum villain.” “I can’t love Luo Binghe because Shen Qingqiu is his shizun.” “PIDW is destined to be a stallion novel, and Luo Binghe is guaranteed happiness with his harem.” These are the “predestined facts” that Shen Yuan has been shaping his pidw experience with, until they stop being facts and he has to actually look at the changes he has wrought and what he wants out of them, not what Shen Qingqiu would want or expect or react to. And I don’t think he ever fully divests himself of this mentality (we can still see him being casual about his skills even in the extras), but he is much freer in his actions and desires at the end of the story without the weight of Shen Qingqiu the Character dogging his expectations and even more so in the extras without the system acting as enforcer to his thoughts and behaviors.

#svsss #human metas mxtx #hope this makes sense #I haven’t gotten good sleep in like 2 days so of course this is when i want to meta #i may come back to this with some textual evidence #but if i do it won’t be for a long while

[iuri-kun]

today my tumblr account got terminated by mistake because somehow it got flagged for spamming

I immediately contacted the support, but a quick google search revealed that many people who have their tumblr accounts wrongfully terminated can't get them back and that's a known tumblr problem

for several hours I mourned the loss of all the amazing things I collected on my side blogs through the years

what helped me was this reddit post, found and sent to me by @zykamiliah

it's written by a guy from tumblr support team and he helps people in the comments to restore their accounts

thanks to Zy and him my absence didn't last very long at all

#tumblr #account terminated

[torchstelechos]

For all those wondering if Ill do a SQQ meta post on communication, hell yeah I will. I just need to reread some things and go over what parts I want to discuss. As @zykamiliah has mentioned before, SQQ uses other people to talk around his feelings and I wanted to explore that in a clinical sense alongside his I-messages. I also wanted to look over his emotional bids with LBH, his nonverbal communication (his main form), and a few other things I didn’t apply to LBHs meta because of length reasons (and I didn’t actually edit LBHs post I went full hog after discussing it with my coworkers). So! It will happen, it’ll just be a bit longer than LBHs and I need to format it on a google docs before I unleash it on the world. :3 hope thats okay with yall.

#NOt tagging with main tag because this is just for those interested in these types of posts #I tagged you specifically because you were looking forward to it and I didnt want you to think I forgot :pensive: #Hope thats chill!!! #Also some of the things I wanted to add in SQQs post are more techinical terms!! Like #repair attempts and conflict paradox #In the meantime I will most likely post another meta on LBHs communication but specifically on his argument style because he does follow #communication rules on it and he just makes me feral I feel like chewing drywall whenever I talk about LBH #sweet potato Svsss

[mitchievousness]

I’m dying over YQY being the one to give SY a makeover XD. Which ended up with him joining the host club. Also, in Gekkan Shoujo crossover, LQG is probably one of SY’s assistants and inspiration for the main character of his manga.

Hmmm, some more lore mayhaps? @zykamiliah

sj was too busy with school council reponsibilities and the one time he tried to, a-yuan just ended up looking like his twin which was funny but alsonkinda weird. yqy stepped in because he is a.) Very Classy, b.) the only person sj entrusts his brother to, and c.) knows enough of sj's own personal style and his preferences/expectations for his brother's clothing choices that make him far more qualified than any personal stylist ever would be.

yqy was also already the host club's president at that time so he basically told sy that if he started dressing nicely, he could join his club where all they do is sit, have tea, and occassionally talk to people. sy, with all the laziness in his heart, agrees, thinking he could probably get away with just slacking in the backroom reading his online novels. besides, who would request him of all people??

for the gsnk au: yes absolutely! prior to meeting lbh, lqg was the perfect protagonist material for his Shounen Action Manga and begins taking notes on lqg. sy isn't as sneaky as he thinks he is though because one day lqg Kabedons him and demands why he's been staring at him so much lately. sy has no choice but to admit he's been using him as reference and shows him the manga he's making in his apartment. lqg catiously helps out on the process and they find out he's actually pretty good at drawing action sfx and filling in betas. sy hires him on the spot.

post-lbh's ""confession"", lbh goes to sy's apartment to help with the manga and almost starts a fight when he sees lqg sitting in his spot, doing his work on the table, all alone with yuan-ge.

Sy, seeing two epitomes of masculine greatness standing in front of him, tension and hostility thick in the air, silently grabs a pen and sketches out an outline for a new series.

#in gsnk canon the shoujo manga is called Let's Love! so in this au sy's shounen manga is called Let's Fight! djdnjsdjdjnd #if i talk any more about this im gonna have ANOTHER au stuck in my head oh no djdjjdjsf #svsss hostclub au #gekkan shounen svsss au #<- pls i dont want this to become a proper tag djdhjsjdkd

[donttouchtheneednoggle]

“You have to stop falling for people who don’t love you back,” Elyan tells him one night, staring into the darkness. Gwaine glances at him, at the flames dancing on his skin, and thinks too late.

Damn I was writing some raw shit a few weeks back

@lit-beyond-measure  @zykamiliah​ it was that fucking Gwaine being jealous of Lancelot post that set this off i still haven’t recovered

Wait this calls for another trip to paint

And that’s that on perelyainecelotlin

#if i do not laugh at his suffering i will cry #it's really jsut one gigantic 'the love's requited they're jsut idiots #apparently i can't spell just #bbc merlin #perelyainecelotlin #my fic #mine

[belong-togetherr]

If anyone does interact with any of my original posts, please just know that I do see and read what you say! This is just a side blog, so any interactions I do with your responses don't show it coming from this blog (sadly). However, I have made a blog which can interact (and recieve asks and submissions if wanted) which is @moss-veins.

This blog will still be in use tho since it's attached to my main blog!

~~~~

Also, for anyone who wishes to ignore my comments about Naruto episodes as I watch them, I'll be tagging them as "belong-togetherr rewatches naruto." (Thank you @zykamiliah for the suggestion of what tag to use.)

#my ramblings #side blog #idk i might start putting og posts on the other blog or maybe both. #i just wanted a way to interact with mutuals fjsjjs

[lit-in-thy-heart]

thanks for the tag @gwaine-lover !!

Why did you choose your url? Because I'm a sucker for (poor) puns and was very much into Harry Potter when I first joined and was (and still am) a literature nerd and I thought it was a nice combination

Any side blogs? Strictly speaking, yes? I'm a mod for @merwaincelotweek (we are still taking prompt submissions by the way 😉 no shameless promotion here no sirree)

How long have you been on Tumblr? Since February 2019, according to my archive! But my activity rocketed up during autumn 2020, really

Do you have a queue tag? I do (#why have you got queue in your hair) but I use it sporadically

Why did you start your blog? Because I had thoughts that I wanted to put into posts. That's literally it.

Why did you choose your header? My current one is one that I made for pride but tbh I don't know if I can be bothered to change it again after tomorrow...it's celebrating another one of my rarepairs because I love them <3

Why did you choose your icon? Because Merwaincelot deserves all the love and that is the label for my blog now. You will find Merwaincelot here.

What's your post with the most notes? This one, which I was expecting to maybe get a few likes and that would be it because I was just getting excited over seeing BBC Merlin when I was researching for an essay and it somehow snowballed and most of the fandom seem to have also read that article

How many followers do you have? 360, though I'm not quite sure how (they're all wonderful though 💕)

How many people do you follow? 469 currently

Have you ever made a shitpost? I'm pretty sure I have many times over yes

How often do you use Tumblr? More than I should...I'm on it most days

Did you have a fight/argument with a blog once? I had a conflicting opinion with a Charlotte Brontë stan in my notes once (I love Anne Brontë with all my heart but Charlotte? Not so much) but it wasn't really shots fired, more like differing views

How do you feel about "you need to reblog this" posts? I mean most of my dash is Merlin related so I don't see a lot of them but I'm not really sure

Do you like tag games? Yes! I'm just awful at picking some of them up

Which one of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous? @camelotsheart (particularly after the spn asks, it's beautiful that this fandom is gaining more attention from a show that refuses to die) @donttouchtheneednoggle @flyingpurplepeopleeater42 @thebookluvrr1816

Do you have a crush on a mutual? Platonic ones count, right? Because I know for a fact that there are some people who always make me feel warm when I see them on my dash and I definitely miss them when they're not there

No pressure tags: @donttouchtheneednoggle @sirwilliamofdeira @little-ligi @zykamiliah

#asks #tag game #tagged #lit talks

[zykamiliah]

Bingqiu, a story in four parts

1 - The idyllic years, days filled with contentment and domestic bliss, green bamboo, sunny days full of light.

2 - The separation, the conflict; the resentment, the guilt. The desperate cry for attention and love; the tender, selfless love. Dark and violent, shadows, clashing feelings and contradictions.

3 - Reconciliation, acceptance, forgiveness. Them against the world. The light of renewed union and understanding. Unconditional love.

4 - Exploring the new aspects of their relationship. Married life, warm and secluded, away from the eyes of the world.

#zykamiliah posted this #svsss #eng svsss #the scum villain's self saving system #shen qingqiu #shen yuan #luo binghe #bingqiu #sqq #lbh #scum villain #eehhh this is just the way I see it akjsdkadh #listen I just love the transition from each cover OKAY #zykamiliah-svsss

[zykamiliah]

fandom is so steeped in the trope "the one that looks prettier/more feminine is obviously the bottom" and "the top is always more masculine" that even when that's not remotely the case (wangxian, bingqiu) fandom still tries to default them to the above category.

#svsss #mdzs #wangxian #bingqiu #*weary sigh* the dregs of heteronormativity #lol and because i just entered the fandom #this happens with obikin too #just bc the actor is pretty #fandom #shipping #zykamiliah posted this #rant #zykamiliah-svsss

[zykamiliah]

that insane character with questionable morals you like so much? yeah they woobified him to make him more palatable. yeah sorry he's a poor crybaby now, barely recognizable. no the fandom doesn't care, sorry. they much prefer the version of him that fits into tropes and stereotypes. sorry.

#this is about some of my most insane blorbos #including the svsss ProblematiqueTM squad #but particularly about anakin skywalker in some fics #like i've been in this fandom for a month barely but if you don't write him a little bit creepy then it's ooc #than man has serious problems lmao #he's not doomed he's just a weird guy #but he has serious Issues #zykamiliah posted this

[zykamiliah]

taking a break from work to ask fandom why are lqg and jiang cheng always grouped together. they having NOTHING in common

even as enemies lqg treats lbh better than jiang cheng ever treats wwx

#zykamiliah posted this #svsss #mdzs #even as enemies lqg treats lbh better than jiang cheng ever treats wwx #literally doesn't make any sense #jiang cheng WISHED he was lqg #lqg is strong capable has a healthy self-esteem

[zykamiliah]

One of @rippedorigami 's last posts made me remember a scene from vol.3 of svsss, about how sqq's love for binghe is something you have to look for because his narration hides it, disguises it as something else, or he mentally changes topic and thus distracts us readers from what he's actually feeling.

The scene is the one were they're at the inn just before they receive the summons to Zhao Hua Monastery.

The next morning, half-dreaming and half-awake, he sensed someone else in the room. This person’s steps and movements both were incredibly light. When Shen Qingqiu opened his eyes, he immediately froze.

The only one who’d be interested in slipping into his room first thing in the morning was obviously Luo Binghe.

Lbh sneaks quietly to start Sqq's morning routine. He doesn't wake Sqq up, but waits for him to wake up on his own. Nevertheless Sqq hears him come and immediately, without needing to confirm it with his eyes, he knows it's Lbh. And when he does look at him...

But it was a very different Luo Binghe. He had changed into a set of white robes, and his dark hair was neatly bound with a light-colored ribbon. Furthermore, he was hurrying about the room with a relaxed and contented expression.

This is something we already know, Lbh wants to go back to the golden days and play the attentive disciple, not to manipulate Sqq but because he misses it so much, and it brings him comfort to fall back in that old learned routine of attending his Shizun. Now keep in mind that Sqq is watching him.

His current attire and appearance was exactly identical to the Luo Binghe from before the Immortal Alliance Conference: the model of a flawless and pure disciple of a major sect, the image of a pretty, diligent, and competent young wife, it really…really…was…

The crossed part is from the novel. These are thoughts that the narrator is trying to deny, presumably to himself: "the model of a flawless and pure disciple", "the image of a pretty, competent young wife"; these are the thoughts he wants to suppress, and after that we're left wondering what he's feeling; "it really was" what, sqq? Whatever he's feeling, it's something he doesn't tell us about. Maybe because his feelings are incomprehensible to even himself, or because he can't bear to face what's going through his mind and heart.

This is the Binghe he came to love as his disciple, the one he lived with for three years, the one he thinks "died" at the Immortal Alliance Conference. And he's left mentally speechless for a moment, maybe a few minutes, until Lbh turns and sees he's awake.

Luo Binghe turned. At the sight of Shen Qingqiu propping himself up on one arm, he reached out a hand and said, all smiles, “Shizun is awake? Breakfast is on the table.”

Shen Qingqiu put a hand on his forehead, but his body reacted by itself to take Luo Binghe’s hand and get off the bed.

Two things about this part: one, Sqq was "propped up in one arm" while he was staring at Lbh. I would love to get fanart of this, specially of the look on his face. And two: Sqq takes Binghe's hand to get out of bed. This doesn't seem to be anything new about their morning routine. It's so instinctive that he says his body "reacted by itself".

In a way, they're reenacting a scene from the past.

Then we finally get the explanation of why Sqq is ""letting himself"" act like this:

If he had to blame something, it would be that the scene before him was precisely the standard service he had received every morning back on Qing Jing Peak in days long past. The whole breadth of morning activities—getting up, getting dressed, washing, doing his hair, serving the meal, eating—was all naturally done under the auspice of Luo Binghe’s mindful service.

If the setting were changed to Qing Jing Peak’s Bamboo House, he really would have had the terrifying misconception that time was flowing backward!

If he "had to blame something", because of course it's not his own fault that he reacts like that to Lbh. It's not that he feels something about what's happening. What "terrifying misconception"? All the subtle hints points to nostalgia for the past, for their domestic life at the QJP bamboo house. He doesn't acknowledge it, not even to himself.

In a flash, Luo Binghe had gone to make his bed.

The devil incarnate, making his bed! This was too fantastical a vision; Shen Qingqiu didn’t dare watch.

Here's one of his tactics to distract himself (and the reader): change the topic, and compare the current Binghe to the image he has in his head: the demon lord, the "devil incarnate", the blackened protagonist. In a way he's also struggling with this incongruity, that the Binghe he knows personally is not the one he read about and was afraid of. And he's constantly comparing his Binghe to Bingge, and asking himself why his Binghe is acting like a "purehearted young man who serves tea, carries water, washes clothes, and folds blankets for someone, who bashfully speaks only when his back is turned". Because he still hasn't quite realized that Binghe and Bingge the Protagonist are two different people/characters, and in doing so it's like he tries to put distance between himself and Binghe, himself and his own feelings. But he's just delaying the inevitable. He can't run from them forever.

This is all just to state the obvious: Shen Qingqiu misses Luo Binghe, and he constantly avoids thinking about it. He misses him as viscerally as Binghe does, because he can't even "voice" what he thinks when he sees Binghe attending to him in the morning, and it's like a vision from the past, a mirage he has to avert his gaze from.

They're both pining on their own way, it's just that Sqq's pinning is hidden under layers of self-delusion and denial.

#zykamiliah posted this #svsss #sv reread #svsss meta #bingqiu #bingqiu meta #long post #zykamiliah-svsss

[zykamiliah]

recently i came across a post stating that there's no way obikin could ever end up happily because of their many issues, anakin's flaws etc etc and i'm like

:3 no ♥ listen if bingqiu could overcome their abysmal communication issues and the narrative literally hunting them down for sport, so can obikin

#svsss #obikin #bingqiu #anakin the honorary shizunfucker my beloved #zykamiliah posted this

[zykamiliah]

no that I want to rain on anyone's parade but if we're compiling facts and putting them in the wiki, we should at least keep it faithful to what the book actually says

Chapter 1, first paragraph

#zykamiliah posted this #svsss #scum villain's self saving system #scum villain #luo binghe's harem is not THAT big come on people #maintaining a harem is not joke that's really expensive #zykamiliah-svsss

[zykamiliah]

one of the many reasons i like bingqiu more than the other mxtx couples is that I feel, personally, that Binghe is more independent as a character than the other love interests. As I read in a twit earlier, "bingqiu is protagonist4protagonist", meaning that Binghe has conflicts, issues and other stuff going on in his life that are outside of his relationship with Sqq. He's interesting by himself, bc he was "originally" a protagonist, whereas the others are more dependent on their love interest status and the person they're in love with to be interesting as characters.

#zykamiliah posted this #svsss #my opinion #bingqiu #i don't want discourse so i'm not tagging the other couples lol #zykamiliah-svsss