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scuttlebutthasit · 3 years

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I’m waiting for you

I wait for what seems to be forever

While I’m here I’ll build the nest

I’ll write the music

I’ll clean the thistles

So what happens next

Will you lay down with me in my bed

In our bed

At least I want it to be yours as much as it is mine

Whats next

Will you save me from the towering clock

Your casted shadow would dim all the lights

And all the people

Until it is just you

And me

Should purpose exist

Should sex and touching and kissing

Be an obstacle to all the rest

do not dig up the ground

To see the hand that always reaches for more

If you will stay just a second

or a day or a year

I would seek only your offerings and nothing more

I would seek only the figures that you share

I want you eternally and selflessly

#poetry #poem #poems on tumblr #my poem #my poetry #art #love poem #love letters #love #in love #canadian #egyptian #literature #author writing #authors on tumblr #creativewriters #creative #happyplace #words

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scuttlebutthasit · 4 years

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The Restless

It’s further this time:

The distance and the sound,

It is further - and therefore there is more space.

In it I leave memories and things and shelves,

And a radiant garden

Of plenty-

That could nurture a village.

And sometimes I feel like I was a coward:

When I walked among the trees,

I had nothing but seconds:

Seconds until I see you pass me,

Seconds until I look back and watch you leave,

Seconds until I turn away and carry on.

You know for me love turned into fear.

And that turned into sadness,

which eventually turned into distance,

And that turned into ambition.

But I think that they now all coexist.

I wonder if love was ever around -

Because it shifts and turns in such a way.

But could it be that all along it was my nature and fate:

It never possessed me

The way people say it should.

The room it occupied was further,

The walls are wider,

It’s distance and potential continue to be infinite.

I saw it beyond it’s original shape:

I heard it in my songs in different words and perspectives,

And even allowed to take life in a miserable and destructive silence.

It is looking at the ground

And running from my heart:

Up to a mountain.

And from the earth’s finest peaks:

It took seconds to perceive the beauty,

And seconds to remember the home

The distance,

The companions,

And that my love never stood still.

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scuttlebutthasit · 4 years

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Poem: I did not follow.

I did not follow you into the canyon,

I didn’t see myself behind your shadow.

My heart forged a path that put me in motion,

And put me in a dream or a nightmare or a famous day -

Where I did not follow, I only watched to find.

I did not follow your leaps or your teachings:

They brought me some kind of fear,

That a life can be discovered just as it was before.

And I’m sorry that I could not curl round your fires,

Or dance with you in the rain -

Nor follow the roads you paved.

Though I’d hoped that in some space,

I’d find you at my destination just the same.

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scuttlebutthasit · 4 years

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Is animal crossings a game about helping animals cross the street? If so I’ll buy a switch tomorrow

#animal crosing new horizons #musician #my poetic life #poems on tumblr #my poem #my poetry #poem #poetry #art #life quotes #literature #anthropology

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scuttlebutthasit · 4 years

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For the queen of England’s 100th birthday, she hosted a worldwide baking competition to see who could make the best birthday cake for her. I decided to participate despite having 0 knowledge about baking cakes. After spending 3 days in my school’s kitchen (I didn’t use the kitchen at my home for some reason), the cake was done. It had three layers, each one made out of a different type of chocolate with different things inside (top layer: dark chocolate with blueberries, middle layer: milk chocolate with hazelnuts, bottom layer: white chocolate with raspberries) and a small unicorn statue made out of white chocolate on top of the top layer. The judges came in and tasted my cake, and they said that it was one of the best ones yet. And then I woke up and never found out if I won or not.

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scuttlebutthasit · 4 years

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I do not envy the earth

And her tireless companions

I do not envy the sea

That has consumed lost dreams

And metal ships

I do not envy nature and it’s compulsive

Need to create

I do not envy lovers

Even when I want to be loved

I look away

And feel repulsed by the idea that life needs love

I do not envy mathematicians

Or their equations

Take my evolution, and show me the paths

That lead to here and this.

I must survive and I can but I fail to understand

How I can out number the populations

How I can be seen through their glasses

I do not envy you or your queen

When I see how thrones have crumbled

But I envy all that that isn’t me

#normal #human torch #humans are weird #my poetry #poems on tumblr #slam poem #my poetic life

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scuttlebutthasit · 5 years

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Resignation

Over what period of time was I once captured?

In their hearts, did they see innocence in me

Was there peace that was lost in this voyage

Because at full velocity I viciously tore

Past our encompassing atmosphere

And I might hope i was plagued with regret

To succumb to these malicious ways

But it was effortless

I could’ve chosen to be kind

But ever I did I felt so much disparity

To rebuild or destroy

It seemed like the same concept

Though one was more painful

I was alone and seemingly always alone

So here I am

At the mercy of my fire

And it will end

And I do not fear the end

The only fear I have now

Is that I was always destined to fall like this

Did they know all along that this is who I would become

If they did, I wish they would have stopped me

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scuttlebutthasit · 5 years

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I want her

I sat in bed and felt so heavy.

To each their own,

But my own was seemingly so depressing

My life keeps feeling so still

I needed to fly as fast as I could

And start again and again

Bolt into the perfect world.

But I don’t claim to want perfection

I love the rides of my mood

And the chaos that brings me peace;

It’s the silence that I despise.

To him, I am beautiful.

To him there is no silence within me.

He sees me in light.

To her I am not.

She’s sees it all.

The mess,

The discontent,

The constant tide would make her collapse 40 feet below the ground

In the midst of caves and darkness and she really did hate me for it.

I’d be happier with her though.

I would show her how beautiful darkness could be.

It de-programs you, and makes you gaze at yourself from afar.

She once said:

“Enjoy life, and good things will come”

And I could try because I wanna be with her

I want her arms to extend over me,

I want late night giggles,

And 2am pizza.

I want romance and passion.

I wanna sit beneath her as she sees my world crumble at her feet.

I want her.

She would cure my silence,

And remove the stillness,

And I could finally start to love again.

#poetry #poem #poems on tumblr #my poem #my poetry #poetic #my poetic life #poets on tumblr #author writing #my writing #love letters #beautiful woman #biseuxal #girlswholikegirls #girls who slam #girls on girls

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scuttlebutthasit · 5 years

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Today and Tomorrow

I sat in bed and yearned for a tomorrow,

That was full of fun and love.

I do not wish to love now I wish to fill my self up

When my options are plenty.

I do not see the point of this suffering if I can not rise up from it and turn around and find something better

To his or hers, but usually his,

And I wish it was usually hers.

I wish her arms were around me right now.

That the sound of her voice filled up the air in my room

That the softness in our heart turned to stone

And became the only reality I’ve ever wanted

I want love with another woman

And it feels impossible

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scuttlebutthasit · 5 years

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And she emerges with a thought

And maybe the moment we start becoming kinder

Is the same one we realize that we are all lost

In some version of an illusion.

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scuttlebutthasit · 5 years

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I’d risk it all for that

I miss laying down side by side,

And looking up at the world with you.

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scuttlebutthasit · 5 years

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scuttlebutthasit · 5 years

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Wren

He watches you sleep

And dream through the night

He takes down notes

Whether flight or fight

Some call him Wren

Some call upon him

Because they think he has their truth

But he twisted reality

Into a nightmare.

I speak and I shake

And I see him before I wake,

So I told him to leave

I said “Wren you better believe

That I will break you

Even if it breaks me”

And he smiled

All while

Knowing his magic had worked

And I saw him in the sky

And he occupied

Every corner of this town

So I lit a flame

So I can claim

Something of myself

But what was left

Was ash and spore

Nothing like it was before

At least now I can figure out

How to get rid of that old fool

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scuttlebutthasit · 5 years

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When you write love letters in the sand

They’re bound to get washed away.

We met not long ago

But eventually it’s gonna be a long time

Because we don’t even talk.

Though to find ourselves in the memory of our first encounter

I should tell you I loved you.

I loved the softness of your nods

And the expressions that accompanied your laughter-

The way you lost all the air in your body,

To project a scene in a story,

Made my heart open up,

And it pirouetted around with the effervescent energy in your soul.

It is then sweet gone bitter.

Illusions couldn’t preserve,

The quick of your temper

Or the judgements of your mind -

And maybe what was really distinguished

Was the realization that I wasn’t alone in your world,

A simple formula can prove me insignificant

So I can’t tell if I’m more disappointed in the fact that you no longer wanted to be around me

Or in the flaws of my own character,

I guess I’d rather not know,

Because life was never about happy endings

Nor was it about despair

It is more discrete and finite than I can ever really understand

But I still find myself undone,

Begging for life to find a way to make you stuck with me

It is selfish and unfortunate that I couldn’t see

Anyone but you.

When you write love letters in the sand,

It’s bound that a wave will crash on top of it,

Leaving you with nothing.

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scuttlebutthasit · 5 years

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The Conversation I Wished We Had

Me: I didn’t know what I wanted.

Her: Then why did you make me feel cornered. Who did you do it for?

Me: I did it because I thought it was more meaningful for things to flow in a certain way.

Her : Well, I hope you’re happy, everything we had went sour.

Me: You were the one who walked away though. I think maybe you always intended to.

Her: I’m building a life for myself. One that I can finally feel safe in. No one will come in my way. No one other than me will be the hero of my story.

Me: I guess I’m selfish enough to want more from someone. Being with you brought a lot of pain for me.

Her: But it brought you here. I hope you find what you’re looking for.

Me: And I you.

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scuttlebutthasit · 5 years

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Today I wrote myself a love letter

I moved out over a month ago. I left my husband. I’m now living alone for the first time in my life. I’ve been seeing someone. But, it’s a complicated situation and he’s not sure where he’s at or what he wants. I’ve been wrestling with it. Worrying. Fretting. Do I leave it alone and move on? Do I be patient and wait for him to come around? Am I settling? I want attention and affection that he can’t seem to give. Also something my husband had been unable to give for years prior to the split. Why am I attracting men that are unavailable? But more so, WHY am I relying on someone else for the love and affection I need? What would happen if I just gave that to myself? What would that be like?

So, I wrote myself a love letter. I told her how beautiful and sexy she is to me. I told her how I love her eyes and her hair. I told her how I love her company. I love to hike and camp and adventure with her. I love how big her heart is. I love how she cares about everyone in her life. I love how she seeks growth…how she needs to heal and grow like she needs air and water. It’s one of the things I admire most about her. I love the sparkle in her eye. I love the fire in her heart. I love how she sees the good in people and in life in general. I love how she thinks everything is going to be ok and workout just fine!

And it felt right! It felt good. It felt like exactly what I needed. And I wanted to share because maybe someone out there needs it too.

Much love.

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scuttlebutthasit · 5 years

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King Henry VIII to Ann Boleyn

c.1528

In debating with myself the contents of your letters I have been put to a great agony; not knowing how to understand them, whether to my disadvantage as shown in some places, or to my advantage as in others. I beseech you now with all my heart definitely to let me know your whole mind as to the love between us; for necessity compels me to plague you for a reply, having been for more than a year now struck by the dart of love, and being uncertain either of failure or of finding a place in your heart and affection, which point has certainly kept me for some time from naming you my mistress, since if you only love me with an ordinary love the name is not appropriate to you, seeing that it stands for an uncommon position very remote from the ordinary; but if it pleases you to do the duty of a true, loyal mistress and friend, and to give yourself body and heart to me, who have been, and will be, your very loyal servant (if your rigour does not forbid me), I promise you that not only the name will be due to you, but also to take you as my sole mistress, casting off all others than yourself out of mind and affection, and to serve you only; begging you to make me a complete reply to this my rude letter as to how far and in what I can trust; and if it does not please you to reply in writing, to let me know of some place where I can have it by word of mouth, the which place I will seek out with all my heart. No more for fear of wearying you. Written by the hand of him who would willingly remain yours.

HR

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