#abandonment trauma

[honeypleasejustkillme]

it should be illegal to abandon me

#actually bpd #actually mentally ill #bpd fp #actually borderline #bpd shitposting #bpd favorite person #bpd #bpd vent #bpd mood #bpd problems #abandonment issues #abandonment trauma

[snarlingteeth]

CW FOR VAGUE REFERENCE TO ANIMAL EUTHANASIA

#tw #cw #vent #vent art #vent comic #neglect #abandonment trauma #abandonment issues #bpd #depression #autistic #autism #adhd #therian #dog kin #cryptidcore #wolf kin #feralcore #bastardcore #core #corecore #poetry #writing #comic #system #demon #wolf #black shuck #tw animal death #tw death

[epileptifox]

#im going insane does anyone want anything?? #childhood trauma #neglect #childhood neglect #ptsd #actually ptsd #actually autism #actually traumatized #emotional neglect #abandonment trauma #abandonment issues

[thedomesticanthropologist]

The abandonment wound that turns into a deep, never healing "I want someone to take care of me" is just

So

Big sometimes

And so often we become the one who takes care of people - those of us with this wound.

The hard thing is, learning how to take care of yourself really well doesn't heal it. Learning how to ask for help when you need it doesn't heal it. Learning to live with it doesn't heal it.

Nothing really does, when that "step" in your early childhood was either missed, mishandled, or otherwise fumbled spectacularly enough to cause this kind of wound. It's hard in complicated cases too, where you were cared for in many ways but maybe not the one that mattered. Or you were cared for in ever way but inconsistently. Or it was from a source that betrayed or abandoned you, even if you were handed off immediately to someone else that took care of you. There is no wrong way to receive this wound, nor is there a competition for who gets to feel it the hardest or the deepest.

But those who have it recognize each other, I think. We do, even if we don't know what it is we are recognizing. Even if the wounds were caused in different ways, even if our stories look so very different.

"I want someone to take care of me"

It may just always be there, in some way or another. It may even be unwanted, where you can't articulate it or you become hyper independent. It may be desperately wanted and cause clinging and limerance and all those painful things. It may be witnessed and cared for and managed by someone who sees their wound and does all the 'right' things.

But it doesn't really ever leave, does it

And we find each other, don't we?

#abandonment trauma #childhood trauma #mental health #healing #thoughts #rambles #mutterings #nonsense before bedtime

[novauril]

#abandonment trauma #bpd mood #mentally drained #mentally fucked #actually mentally ill #depressing quotes #this is depressing #tw depressing thoughts #tw depressing stuff

[abandonment-trauma]

Bouncing back and forth between “i don’t wanna be alone” and “i want to isolate myself” is quite the wild ride.

But incase you weren’t aware, these are both ways a fear of abandonment can show itself.

#abandonment trauma #abandonment #attachment trauma #mental health #dealing with grief #heartbroken #abandoned #abandonment issues #cptsd coping #fearful avoidant #attachment #anxious attachment #dismissive avoidant

[adustoflove]

Little things in your childhood and teen years really do leave a lasting impression, for better or for worse. Like being picked last for a team in gym class, or being the last one for just about anything in gym class and having everyone stare at you. Kids picking on you because you're no good at the game the teachers are forcing you to play, peers yelling at you because you couldn't catch the ball or hit it over the net as well as they could. Feeling left out whenever field trips are mentioned because even though you have people you occasionally talk to at school, you have no one you actually feel comfortable hanging out with for the day, so you decide not to go and to stay home, even if you really did wanna go...

Not going to ANY school events either, like dances or proms because you have no one to hang out with for the day and you'd feel uninvited or like it was a lost cause to show up and sit there like a wallflower. And the pain of feeling even more left out when all your classmates are getting excited in the upcoming days for the event or talking about it after it's taken place. Having to sit alone in the auditorium or bleachers for any sort of assembly. Other students frowning or sighing when the teachers pick partners, and you get paired with someone who obviously doesn't wanna be paired with you. And so you pick up extra work just to feel less shame and guilt about it. Working alone all the time because you can't socialize like the rest of the students who've already found their clique. Teachers who make snide or snarky remarks even when you've done nothing in particular wrong. The horror of having to raise your hand and get an answer wrong then watch one of your more competent classmates get the answer right.

I've spent a better half of my life feeling alienated from my peers and constantly feeling left out. It is so deeply traumatic, and it gets to be so hard to find friends and keep them as an adult because of all the experiences you've had in your past surrounding other people. I never feel worth anyones time, and it prevents me from putting myself out there anymore. I can't be myself around many people because being myself feels punishable.

#bpd vent #actually bpd #bpd #actually borderline #actually traumatized #trauma #bpd thoughts #neurodivergent #abandoment issues #abandonment trauma #social isolation #rsd #rejection sensitive dysphoria

[kaleb-is-definitely-sane]

#heartbreak #heartache #heartbroken #sad thoughts #moving on #sad but true #sad ending #sad stories #sad boy #abandonment #trauma #abandonment issues #lonliness #abandonment wound #abandonment trauma #frustration #coping

[angelxd-3303]

I don't know if anyone had asked this yet but when did Mario find out about his fire power? Did he hide it at first? Did he find out about it by accident when training? Did he tell anyone about it like Luigi?

Being the protector is more taxing than some realize, and suppressing your own feelings to take care of those around you eventually leads to everything bubbling over.

Something I always thought about in regards to the games; Mario is the hero of the story, but who was there to save him?

#traditional art #mario #princess peach #mareach #firebrand #hes so tired #abandonment trauma #parental abandonment tw

[noballoonsinspace]

Misbehavior is not a reflection of merit Misbehavior is not a reflection of character Misbehavior is not a reflection of intelligence Misbehavior is not a reflection of work ethic Misbehavior is not a reflection of morals or values

Misbehavior is a reflection of well-being Misbehavior is a reflection of environment Misbehavior is a reflection of power dynamics Misbehavior is a reflection of support systems Misbehavior is a reflection of how someone is treated

“Bad” kids don’t misbehave hurting kids misbehave traumatized kids misbehave abused kids misbehave neglected kids misbehave scared kids misbehave lonely kids misbehave grieving kids misbehave stressed kids misbehave overwhelmed kids misbehave burnt-out kids misbehave

Its not a “tantrum” or a “fit” or a “bad kid” with “unacceptable behavior,” it’s a cry for help

When kids misbehave, stop “punishing” and “disciplining” and “reprimanding” them

When kids misbehave for the love of god just help them

And P.S. this basically applies to adults as well

#trauma recovery #childhood trauma #parental neglect #abandonment trauma #adhd autistic #late diagnosed autistic #adverse childhood experiences #cptsd recovery #complex trauma #autistic meltdown #childhood #childrens rights #kids health #child advocacy #children are people #kids are people too #child abuse #actually autistic #emotional abuse #child behavior #behavioral health #neurodiversity #autistic kids #neurodivergent #mental health matters #childrens health #domestic discipline #raising children #gentle parenting #positive parenting

[snarlingteeth]

When the novelty

Of a bad dog

Wears off

You will find another companion

To hold by your side

And I will befriend

The cold concrete

Of the shelter

Once again

#therian #dog kin #cryptidcore #wolf kin #feralcore #bastardcore #bpd #abandonment trauma #abandonment issues #trust issues #attachment issues #bad dog

[lons-world]

Are you really uncomfortable with opening up to them? Or just scared they'll see you the way you see yourself? Perhaps both. Nobody was ever around to reassure you that you're enough right? Maybe that's why it irks you so much to show your vulnerability. Afraid of them seeing you as weak as you view yourself...cause if they catch a glimpse of the real you, what happens then?

#abandoment issues #abandonment #relationship #trauma #relationship trauma #abandoned #abandonment trauma #heartbreak #heartbroken #vulnerability

[thedomesticanthropologist]

Had anyone else raised with severe impermanence just /not/ been able to feel "home"?

I have lived in my current house for 11 years. 11! I am 32, and this is the longest I've ever lived in a place. I don't own it, but I'm not renting either- it's a co-op, so like, kinda in between the two. Basically I can't get kicked out unless I break a huge rule, so I have *some* security.

But like, only recently have I realized, I have never seen this place as permanent.

I've never seen anything as permanent.

Housing has never felt safe to me, because it's never been safe. And that feeling inside, that mental hangup, has lead to 11 years of feeling "temporary" despite that length of time being so... significant? That's what, a third of my life now?

Just goes to show what happens to you in childhood really, really lingers.

#abandonment trauma #childhood trauma #moving #houses #home #nothing feels permanent #musing #personal #thoughts

[epileptifox]

i want to feel safe

#im sobbing lol #💀 #childhood trauma #abandonment trauma #ptsd #traumacore #actually traumatized #actually cptsd #living with cptsd

[abandonment-trauma]

Believe it or not, my fear of abandonment can make me pull away the second i sense rejection.

#abandonment #abandonment trauma #abandonment issues #mental health #attachment trauma #trauma #cope #coping #bpd #borderline personality #fearful avoidant #disorganized attachment #neglected #rejected

[1101200905]

reparenting Can't be the solution to parentalization. like. i had to parent myself so the only solution is??? i have to parent myself again????????

no offense but I'm actually fucking tired of doing that?

(i also get pissed at the idea that the correct response to loneliness is learning to be alone. that's in direct opposition to how Human Beings Work).

#just shit that frustrates me #part of it is me based #like I'm aware that i have to do work here #but i get so pissed when ppl try to wedge their bootstrap up my ass like. please #the PROBLEM is that i cant rely on anyone! or open up! you think the solution is to MAKE IT WORSE????? #i DID the self sufficiency thing!!! #that's kinda the fucking problem! #and yes yes absolutely inner child shit HELPS #i simply and absolutely resent the notion that health and sanity looks like doing it all on your own #that's puritan ass colonizer mentality please get away from me with it #interdependence is not codependence #interdependence is the fucking point #anti colonialism #rad #bpd #borderline #inner child #reparenting #parentalization #abandonment trauma #yeehaw #my life improved once i realized i could just reject that tho #inclusivetherapists.com is the foreal #unfortunately ppl ain't taking my insurance much but we getting there #therapy #rest is radical #self preservation is a revolutionary act