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#and I DON'T think he's a pretentious asshole. I DO think he's OPINIONATED though
rotisseries · 1 year
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glad to see we all like to have a normal one on byler tag dot tumblr dot com
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russian-spider · 4 months
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I rewatched Richie and Tiff's scene from "fishes" today (the one they have in Donna's bedroom), after binging the show recently, and I realized I had overlooked something, because there was so much going on and it was exhausting. Something about Carmy. Richie and Tiff talk about him, how he made sprite for her, but instead of praising him, they just keep saying he's weird and why would you try to get him to date Claire when she's so nice. And even though I wish Richie had said something good about Carmy, I don't hold it against him because that's what their relationship was like then and we know how much he loves him. But I feel like, from the start, I had been taking Richie's side, in a way, because he was so funny and interesting to watch, he was this loser looking for a purpose and I could not not root for him. I was rooting for Carmy too, but when we met him he's already a big time chef, he's made it in the world, we know he's talented and successful and too good for the Beef. He's this man who Richie has known since forever that's younger than him but has achieved so much more and is now his boss, how can Richie not feel shitty about it? So, I watched the show hoping Richie would earn Carmy's respect, get some self-esteem back. But I think I got it wrong. I think he already had Carmy's respect, but Carmy didn't had his.
I believe that, when you grow up around someone, no matter how many years pass, you will always be who you were to them, and no matter how much you change, you will always regress a little when you're with them, back to that old dynamic. The Carmy we met is not the one Richie knows. His Carmy is shy and bad with people, lonely and artsy and different. He's Mikey's baby brother, always following him around and trying to get his attention. Always on the defensive, because they do give him a hard time (assholes). He's young, he's short, he's… weird (as if they're all so normal!) And Carmy's Richie is not this middle aged divorced man with nowhere to go. He's someone that became part of his family because Mikey of all people loved him so much. He was his best friend, his right hand man at the restaurant, always part of his stories. I believe when Carmy said "I always thought my brother was my best friend, except everybody thought he was their best friend" he was thinking of Richie specifically. How could he not be hurt by that? Richie had what Carmy wanted, and he could have simply hated him, but he saw his good qualities, the ones he was lacking ("he believes in you, he said you're good with people") He never rejected Richie the way he did Pete, for example. And it's different but it's the same because Pete's an outsider who became part of the family through (Natalie's) love, but they don't like him (which I think it's super unfair btw).
And what I didn't realize at first was that Carmy was also looking for Richie's approval, not just Mikey's. That's why when Richie judges him and calls him Donna in the finale it hurts him so much, not because how dares this loser lecture him, but because his opinion matters. He screams about how Richie is nothing without him and how much Richie needs him as a defense mechanism, because he's so afraid of not being needed by the people he loves and he needs Richie too (of course it makes him furious when Richie says it). Even in the first episode he's like "how fucking dope is that, cousin?" like did you see what I did? did you see how I brought all these clients to the restaurant? He insults him, but he listens to him, asks for his help, cares what he thinks. Meanwhile Richie scofs at Carmy's achievements, partly because they make him feel less than, and partly because this is Carmy, so how impressive can this really be? Just some pretentious shit he learned from people as pretentious and weird as him. Until "forks". Until he finds purpose in a place where Carmy is so respected that there's a picture of him framed. And later Richie tells him "I get it" and I thought 'how nice he finally understands what Carmy is trying to do and how they want the same thing now' but it's so much more than that. He finally gets the importance of what Carmy has done, how difficult it was, how amazing he is. For the first time he saw Carmy from the outside, not like the kid he knew but like we the audience see him, and understood. Maybe that helped with his self-esteem also, because having Carmy as his boss doesn't mean he's a loser, it means he works with the best.
Anyway, I hope at some point we get to see Richie defending Carmy when he hears someone talk shit about him, or just talk proudly about him to someone, maybe even to Tiff, to show his growth.
And I know Richie said "you're all I've got" and Carmy said nothing back and I felt so bad for Richie, but Carmy's just not used to that, he doesn't know how to react, because that is -was- not how they talk to each other. But he's trying so hard to not be shitty and to be there for the others while his mind is screaming at him that he's a failure and needs to give up joy if he wants to feel like he has value, because his self worth is so tied to his job that he'd choose it over love... Idk I think it's very important not only that Richie loves him, but that he values and respects him, because these are two very different things and Carmy isn't used to getting that from him. Mikey never told Carmy "good job" like he wanted so badly to hear, but Richie could.
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goldenpinof · 8 months
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Hi. original alienation anon here. I'm happy to report that my fears (so far) are unfounded :)
I'm going to try to explain why I found dd to be alienating as succinctly as possible.
I get that he was basically trying to make the YT version of the Eric André show, but it didn't work for me for a number of reasons. Firstly, YT is not a good platform for that kind of content. The Eric André show is on a network that is known for bizarre, offensive shows. YT is not that. It's a personality-driven platform that runs on the parasocial relationships between creators and their audiences. Dan was also not the best person to pull that concept off. Eric André is and always has been known for his chaotic, rude, unlikable persona. Dan is not. He built an audience by being likable and relatable. So for him to suddenly do a total 180 and become this rude, mean, cold person was alienating to me and other viewers who had built a parasocial relationship with the person he presented himself as in his videos.
Secondly, and this is gonna sound harsh, Dan is not as deep as he thinks he is. DD isn't good satire. He basically just made the content he was supposed to be satirizing and dressed it up in this pretentious concept of a dystopian variety show. He clearly was pressured into making those videos to promote WAD and it shows. His commentary on the concepts he talked about was surface level. he didn't say anything that countless video essayists who are smarter and more educated than him haven't already said. I also agree with the person who said it felt overproduced and cheap at the same time.
My third and main problem with DD though, is how mean-spirited it often felt. I watch dnp for light-hearted entertainment. I don't want to watch someone I usually like being a dickhead to their friends and family for 20 minutes, whether it's joking or not. There were times when you could tell that the guest was uncomfortable, but Dan just didn't seem to care? The worst was Louise. I felt so much second-hand embarrassment watching that video. She clearly felt uncomfortable but Dan just kept pushing it. The cringiest part was when he said that thing about the 2012-2014 YT era being nostalgic and Louise said "it wasn't a good time for me. I had a 2 yr old and was going through a divorce." Yikes! That just made Dan come off like a self-absorbed, inconsiderate asshole to me. Obviously we don't know how Louise really felt or what went on behind the scenes but that video left a bad taste in my mouth and completely changed how I viewed Dan.
Here's my conclusion. I think Dan needs to play to his strengths. social commentary and irreverent comedy are not two of them. People like him mainly for 3 reasons; his ability to relate to others through his own personal struggles, his chemistry with Phil, and his aspirational relationship with Phil (whatever the nature of that relationship is). DD pretty much destroyed all of that in one fell swoop. Even though I think that was entirely intentional, it was a very, very bad move. He can't just toss his entire image in the fire and expect it to work out for him. Not without doing the work to win over a new audience, like say, Joji did when he went from being Filthy Frank to a serious, sad-boy musician. I'm glad he got the chance to try new things, even if they didn't work out, but I think he's smart for going back to doing what he's good at and I hope for our sake and his that he sticks to it.
I said succint and then this turned into a whole essay lol. Sorry. I know some people are not going to like what I said, but that's how I feel.
hi! so sorry it took me so long to get to this!
i agree with some things and disagree with others. just so people won't argue with me because of your perception of dd, i'll list disagreements (and the hardest agreements, i guess). but it's totally cool to feel what you feel, and youtube content is made for people to have different opinions and obviously, we have different reactions to intentional harshness and rudeness. also, i'm so so glad you gave dnpgames a chance! we're back and stronger than ever!!
putting under the cut to not disturb the dnpgames euphoria <3
i agree that youtube , and specifically Dan's main channel, wasn't the best place to put this type of content on. maybe his 2nd channel would have been better, but it would have given even less views. so like, the point? because now his main channel looks all over the place. the usual content flow was interrupted by a video trashing youtube and the whole conceptual series of dd. and even dd was interrupted by the 2nd wad trailer and the memes video. right now it looks, dare i say, ugly. if he ever returns to actual youtube content and not promo videos, he will have to swallow this hard pill.
your 2nd reason - agree. but i don't think it's a bad thing, considering the circumstances (dd being made under pressure to somehow promote wad. with limited time and budget). lots of people comment on the same things and happen to give the same remarks. it's fine, it's still interesting to hear. (ironically, that's youtube and its algorithm for you)
hard agree on Dan (almost) destroying his image, especially in relation to dnp™. but we're still here, he can't push us away no matter how hard he tries.
disagreements :))
i think the video with Louise was good. that comment about 2012-2014 (the prime Brit crew times specifically) being nostalgic - i mean, it IS. for some people more, for some people less. it can be nostalgic and not a good time equally. i have personal examples when it's both. and i rewatched that moment. Louise said, "I loved those years for the most part." Dan went on to question WHAT exactly she loved, and only then she had to specify that it wasn't actually that simple. Dan likes to say how simple life was "back then". "back then" being any time in the past lol. "simpler, better times" is a phrase i still quote, and it was said years ago (i don't even remember where). he was rude in the video, but not ruder than with others. motherhood is a more sensitive topic for Louise than for Dan and, may i say, the majority of us. but they are friends, and at the end of the day, she could literally say "shut the fuck up and stop" and that would be accepted.
i also think that Dan would be amazing at social commentary if you give him more time to prepare scripts and find the right tone. his liveshows are a good indicator of that. he wasn't trying to punch anyone with his words while delivering his thoughts. he was giving his opinions and explaining them. 2017 has so many amazing quotes from his liveshows. and none of them felt like dd, despite touching on politics, sexuality, mental health, youtube as a platform, our community, the internet as a job, etc. he can do that, he can comment and criticise without trying to prove something. dd had a concept though. he was that obnoxious character playing by "youtube rules". "youtube likes this, this and this. so i'm gonna do all of it, and you're gonna see how bizarre it looks thrown in your face at once and deal with it." social platforms' algorithms are dystopian, he's got a point. his version of satire isn't ideal and you can clearly see that dd was rushed. and that's unfortunate!
anyway, thank you so much for explaining your dd experience. i'm sure there are people who relate to it. i'm sorry, if i sound rude, or like, pushy. i'm not trying to be. actually, dd is probably the easiest topic to discuss because of how ambiguous it is (in a good way).
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boy-above · 8 months
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How do u feel abt the new(?) genahin characters? Like that judge guy and the other ones :0
neuvillette (aka judge guy): he's probably a normal good dude but he gives me such sussy vibes that i can't un-sus my opinion of him. kind of pretentious, but his gameplay looks so fun. probably 5/10 for me
furina (hydro goddess): extremely cute, supreme girlfailure, i thought just from her design that she'd be an asshole but it turns out she's just a sad wet piece of paper, i want to protect her, 9/10
lyney and lynette (magician twins): very cute, i've been waiting for them for a long time. my lyney build crumbles like a piece of tinfoil but whatever. lynette is a catgirl which improves the rating significantly obviously. upset however that lyney doesn't Also have car ears >:I anyway they're great, 10/10
freminet (little diver boy): cute, has freckles, doesn't really have much of a personality imo and feels left out considering he's lyney and lynette's third sibling but they clearly care about each other more than him which makes me kinda sad. 7/10
navia (long awaited new geo character): cute, love that she has body guards, really enjoyed her story in the archon quests, really hoping she plays well considering geo is like the worst element in the game. 8/10
charlotte (reporter girl): she's cute but nothing special to me, there's nothing wrong with her (although i kinda don't like the monocle that's a me problem). her gameplay really overdoes it with the photography theme tho lol. 6/10
wriothesley (prison warden): he's okay? as everyone who follows me has probably gathered my type is mostly twinks like myself so i don't have the capacity to thirst after him like a lot of people do. i like his fun hair. 6/10
chlorinde (purple gun lady): cannot read her name without thinking of clorox or chlorine. very disappointed by her design compared to the concept art. she's a big "meh" to me right now. she gets points for having a gun though. 4/10
arlecchino (lady harbinger): scary, compelling backstory, fun design, 9/10
sigewinne (baby nurse): i was not prepared to be psychologically manipulated by this fetus. she was scary. she had a gun. a gun. 10/10
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erigold13261 · 1 year
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Djss?
I found it! I thought I lost this ask! :D
First impression: He is literally the reason I got the game. I've said this before, but Sayu made me look into the game, but Nova is the one to make me actually buy it. I loved his design and voice, he was an asshole who is super pretentious and really fun to beat the crap out of. I replayed his battle so much before moving on to Sayu. He was a dick and seeing him fly off into space was great! Just seeing him as a self centered dick but not in the usual way where I hate the character because they are way too much of a dick. He is lovable in their flaws, but I would definitely not like them in person.
Impression now: Depressed and tired asshole who doesn't know how to take other people into consideration a lot of the time but tries. Though sometimes it doesn't seem like they are trying. He thinks he is the shit still and honestly they deserve to. Also very smart academically. Probably above average for everything else, though has trouble socially and with street smarts.
Favorite moment: Love the part where he is yelling at B2J for being simpletons and then goes straight into the wiggles :3
Idea for a story: I want to do something with their early life. Either as a professor or as a child. I don't really know what, but I want to just explore them and their self identity. Maybe think of a reason why they hold themself so highly. Is it actual ego, trauma, hiding something? I don't know yet.
Unpopular opinion: Uh, I don't even know if this is unpopular, but it's in canon, so yeah, his head is NOT a helmet. I don't care if canon says it is, that orb is their head.
Favorite relationship: Okay, I'm a NeonNova shipper, but damn am I not at least starting to ride the Nova and Eve train. Like I always saw the two as getting along even a little bit because they can both be fun judgemental assholes, similar to how I see Eve and Purl, but even seeing them romantically is something I've been liking now (Eve and Nova, not Nova and Purl). So yeah, gotta say, right now I like Eve and Nova, whether platonic or romantic, doesn't matter to me.
Favorite headcanon: Afab who thought they were a transman and then identified as nonbinary. Aslo, was dogshit in school all the ways up until like their last year of highschool when they finally started to take things seriously.
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leogichidaa · 2 years
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So my thoughts were this: both brothers are notoriously discriminatory. They want girls with intelligence that is “worth their time” or something like that. But Sirius has a problem - the girls that fit his criteria often want nothing to do with him bc he was an ass in school. So he’s left with the giggling groups that drool over him. I can see Regulus being mildly more successful though- because he probably sticks with Slytherins + pureblood Ravenclaws and he’s not quite as -well, (1)
(2) him not being Sirius suddenly works to his advantage. He would be able to socialize with the girls that are “his type” more than Sirius could.
Yes, definitely discriminatory. I think they are both picky when it comes to partners. Re: Sirius check out this meta by @mrs-stubby-boardman about why Sirius isn't a playboy (he is canonically shown to not be all that bothered by girls). I don't know that they necessarily have a specific criteria in mind for a partner (well, Regulus definitely does, he has it hand-written in a tidy checklist somewhere, Sirius is probably going by vibes), but they are turned off by far more people than they are intrigued by.
I do think Sirius had widespread appeal, though. Is he a pretentious dick? Chet Ubetcha. Is he a pretentious dick in a charismatic and irritatingly appealing way? Unfortunately. I think it would be relatively easy for him to win over someone who is "up to par" on various criteria (intelligence, maturity, whatnot).
What I think is likely to be Sirius' problem is that that would be quite boring. Wooing a girl when you have girls falling over themselves for you is not challenging, it's not stimulating, it's not fun. I think Sirius is a man who would be fond of the chase. I personally don't see Sirius as someone who is all that interested in a romance, either, so there's that.
I think Regulus would struggle with his interactions with the opposite sex quite significantly. My m.o. is to write him as bi in almost any and every fic, but he ends up with men more often than women and I have a lot I could say about why, but it boils down to him a) thinking women are fundamentally different from men and b) not knowing how to interact with people who are fundamentally different from him.
Also, lbr, who could live up to the expectations of womanhood set by his beloved mother? Not a soul, anon, not a single human woman. Not in Regulus' opinion, anyway.
I do think Regulus is also more likely to alienate people with his general comportment than Sirius. Sirius is a playful and lovable, if moderately alarming, asshole. Regulus is a straight up douchebag. Not in an endearing way, either (to most people--I obviously live for it). He is probably voted "most punchable face" 7 years straight at Hogwarts. I think there's a subset of the population who are attracted to him, but for the most part, folks are put off by him.
Regulus is so exacting with his standards for a partner and so reluctant to engage in intimacy that I think on some level it suits him just fine that people aren't drawn to him. Some part of him longs to be as popular and easily charming as Sirius, but what would he do with that popularity if he had it? Just turn people down left and right. Sure, I guess it would be fun for a bit, but it would probably get annoying after a while.
Also, since you mentioned the interplay of looks and girls, I want to note: I think this is something that would bother Regulus. He is attractive, he knows he is attractive, and I think that makes the fact that he is not more desired by his peers sting a bit. Because that shows that his personality is so objectionable that people aren't interested despite his good looks. And that's not a fun feeling.
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moa-broke-me · 2 years
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Y'know, I gotta say, it's been really weird having a fanfiction going for so long.
I mostly say this because I tend to abandon projects kinda quickly, but also because I'm making a lot of revelations about minor characters that I didn't usually give a second thought. Octavian and Drew, specifically.
Like, I mostly just thought of them as generically insufferable people at first, and while they certainly aren't pleasant... Well, I can't really speak for Octavian, sure his mom may have abandoned him (I'm not sure if that's canon I just read that somewhere) and sure that's sad, but he's also a power-hungry, manipulative, pretentious bully. I do feel sorry for the guy, especially since he's just a kid, but so is practically every other character in the series, and for the most part, they all seem to know better. So I'm kind of ambivalent about the character. I'm not entirely sure he deserved to DIE, especially at such a young age, but I'd rather that over a rushed, forced, and unearned forgiveness and subsequent acceptance by the group, which is probably what Rick would've done with him had he lived all the way to the end.
If I were to give him an arc, let's say Nico does intervene when he sees Octavian's cape caught in the trebuchet, not because he's forgiven him or to prove that he's a better person than Octavian or any of that junk, but because if he dies, he escapes the consequences of his actions. Sure, maybe he'll go to punishment, but that won't teach him anything, it'll just make him miserable, and the people he's hurt won't be able to truly hold him accountable in a way that matters.
Once the dust settles, he's exiled from New Rome for his failed coup, understandably, but CHB lets him crash in the Apollo cabin, mostly through Mr. D's suggestion. He's gone mad with power, Dionysus can sense it, and he knows what happens when you turn people like that loose to roam the streets.
He hates it there, he hates the greeks, and he hates Will especially, calling himself his 'kin'. He has no kinship with this hick, aside from perhaps a drop or two of ichor in his veins.
I also think he should get bullied after the camp learns about what he's done. It's realistic, I think, and he deserves a taste of his own medicine.
The funny thing is, Will actually sticks up for him. What a fool he is, so devoted to him even when he's given him nothing but snide remarks and stabbing glares.
Maybe it's the guilt of being treated so well when he's treated others so poorly, maybe it's the realization that this is what it feels like to be freely, unconditionally loved, or maybe it's both... But he's willing to give the greeks another shot.
To be clear, not all the characters forgive him in the end. Less consider themselves on good terms with him, and even less accept him wholeheartedly into their circle of friends. And that's totally within their right. Like I said, I'm very ambivalent about the character, I don't think he deserves the perfect happy ending that most of these characters do, at least not without some major fucking development that would have to take an entire solo book AT LEAST. Even that ambivalence is a more favorable opinion of him than I used to have, which is just 'irredeemable asshole'.
Drew, though, is a lot more sympathetic than that. A lot more sympathetic than Rick seemed to realize. Like, she felt betrayed, it only makes sense that she'd put her guard up, that she'd develop a hard edge, a shell if you will. Granted, a shiny pretty pink shell, but just as hard and stubborn as any other. And yes, I'm referencing Botticelli's Venus just a little bit, y'know the one where Venus emerges out of the clam shell? I'm not sure what I'd do with her, all I know is that she deserved better. She deserved more development, she deserved an arc, and Rick, to the best of my memory, never gave her one. And that sucks.
What makes my fanfiction weird specifically is that both of these characters, in the beginning, were written just to be one dimensional high school bullies, because that's essentially how I saw them. And once I started seeing other people posting about them in a positive way, at first I thought it was weird and just kinda ignored it, but then I was like... Hey wait a second, this makes sense, weirdly enough. I never thought about it like that before but... You're right!
So now, I have to find a way to integrate that into my fanfiction. The only problem?
A lot of the shit that makes these characters so interesting didn't happen in this fanfic. There was no war, no death (ok a little death), no world-shattering consequences or magical powers. It's a mortal high school AU. So I have to find some other way to make these characters be just a smidge more sympathetic, while also staying true to the original characterization. Like ok, they're bullies, but bullies bully for a reason. I also don't wanna uwu-ify them too much and make them into sad wet blorbos (we have enough of those). They're still unapologetically mean and selfish, but they have reasons behind that now.
Anyway all this to say, read my fanfiction if you want to I'm really proud of it.
https://www.wattpad.com/story/315247323-daddy-issues
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ladycatland · 3 years
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Rant time!
You know, I've been thinking it for a while, but fanon c!Dream is straight up boring.
And you know that c!Dream is one of my favourite characters usually, but... man. The idea that he needs to be sympathetic or justified in what he did to be enjoyed just sucks out all the fun for me!
It like trying to give sympathetic reasons to Bill Cipher from Gravity Falls. Why would you do it? They are both chaotic assholes who hurt others for fun, why is it this hard to enjoy them as such?
Like... man...
I sometimes see takes that are like: "but c!Dream did everything for a good goal, he was trying to bring the server together" and I'm just sitting here wondering if we even watched the same streams.
Like, yeah, he WAS planning to bring everyone together, after kidnapping c!Tommy and killing c!Tubbo, but he wasn't planning to do so in any way that's considerable "good". He was literally planning to blackmail everyone into obedience. How is that a good or noble goal? Since when wanting absolute control over people was a good thing?
And some of this people are the same who'll call c!Wilbur or c!Tubbo a "dictator" and they really don't see the irony there.
And the big issue I have with this is when people try to use this reasoning to justify exile, because it doesn't even make any sense. How did abusing a teen further the goal of bringing a server together? Seriously, how did kidnapping and abusing c!Tommy to the point of him becoming actively suicidal help anything? It only motivated c!Tommy in wanting to bring him down more, which, good for c!Tommy, he deserved to murder a bitch, but still! How does that help for unity?
Oh absolutely.
Though, while I don't really like fanon Dream either and find him boring, the concept is... Interesting? Well, it's definitely interesting it's just not as new and unexplored as what we actually get with many characters in canon.
Someone, who apparently holds a position of authority and power by nature, with no inherent malicious goals or anything, just the normal amount of imperfect morality; being challenged on the grounds of the duality between his inherent power and his inherent flaws, becoming defensive and over time becoming more and more removed from his own humanity and morals? Maybe his morals didn't even change, maybe he was always willing to do the things he ended up doing and what changed is his judgement on when these actions are warranted?
And if you've managed to follow my thoughts you might have noticed how fanon Dream easily turned into what a lot of us consider canon Dream. Because in my opinion, those two aren't that different. Fanon Dream might (mostly) be how canon Dream saw the entire conflict at some point in time. I don't like throwing around medical terms because I don't like perpetuating any wrong stereotyped and all that jazz, but I can't start studying psychology so I'll kinda have to, so please excuse me when I say this but. Dream is delusional.
Nowadays he's separated himself from his own humanity to such an extreme that, yeah, he's not gonna see himself as the victim, but also. Such things change and we legitimately don't know how he was thinking before. Well... Exile? I guess? We don't know how much of his godcomplex is this showmanship against himself similar to how Wilbur often fooled himself into thinking that he was thinking a certain way. We don't know how much of the way he acts is performance especially if the audience might be himself.
I like to think that most fanon works are legitimately just his delusional daydreams in a time when he was still maybe grappling with the knowledge of his actions. Because I like to imagine that there was an internal conflict that he resolved with his godcomplex.
That when he took a breather and re-evaluated his own actions, he found a way to justify it in his head to keep him going for a bit more and the longer he went down the road, the less he could justify his actions and the more he had to justify that with just. Distancing himself from... Well... Humanity, morality... All of that.
I hope I'm making sense here? Fanon Dream is such a microcosm of the complexity that canon Dream likely is and yeah that's usually disappointing but also. Sometimes we have 10 minutes of absolute simplicity.
Usually I know that I'm a complex human person, in a world that wasn't created In a specific way to fit the shapes humanity moves in, that date both exists and also doesn't and that life just is. And sometimes I just lie down, know that I'm an utter failure and that's it. And then after those 10 minutes are over I once again have the energy to know that I wasn't born with a purpose given to me because there is nothing with the authority and power to give me a purpose and that that is both absolute meaninglessness and absolute freedom.
So yeah, dream apologism fanfics are dreams way of coping with depression or whatever that is when his brain doesn't have the energy for keeping up his godcomplex. Mayhaps.
Holy shit i gotta Sound pretentious as fuck
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turkisherlockian · 3 years
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Books and Sins | Chapter Two [Benedict Cumberbatch AU]
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Hello everyone! I'm Cer but you might remember me as @rosamundhr a.k.a. Rosamund, it was my nickname but I've changed my mind and I will use my own name Ceren, now. (Cer for short hehehe) Unfortunately I lost access to @rosamundhr so I will keep posting my stories here! I hope you enjoy it and I apologise for making you all wait for so long! Love you all, stay safe. 😸❤️
Summary: Katherine is a fan of Timothy Carlton, the writer who she knows nothing about. No photos, no interviews, no information, not even his age. And one day, a man comes into her life who claims to be her classmate from high school. But through the time, she has a gut feeling something is... Wrong.
Warnings: Mature content, self harm, violence, swearing.
Word count: 1855
Feedbacks are much appreciated and so motivating!
Chapter One
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  Katherine woke up with a weird feeling inside her chest. She was mad at herself for being like this: She could like someone so easily and fall in love with them soon after. It was not her fault though, he was really charming. Too good looking to like her back. However, she tried to convince herself that she just liked him and was attracted to him because he was a writer and well... Handsome as fuck. Not to mention his gentlemanly behaviour. Taking a deep breath, she reached out for her phone to tell her best friend about it. She didn't really have lots of friends and she never complained about it, she liked solitude.
  She scolded herself for being that excited about the thought of seeing him again. He was the very first thing that was on her mind in the morning and she wanted to talk to him again. So badly.
  K: Morning!
  S: Morning to you too 🤣
You're texting me 'morning' since when?
  K: Stop being sarcastic. Can't I be nice to my best friend?
  S: Of course you can, I'm kidding. I just wondered what made you this cheerful... Or who, I should say.
  K: You know who.
  S: Oh do I?
  K: Come on, Samantha! The man I met yesterday. I can't get him out of my mind, I don't know what happened to me but he's like... Cigarette.
  S: You're smoking? Since when???
  K: Of course I don't! It was just an example, idiot. Just can't get him out of my mind. What do I do?
  S: Text him maybe?
You won't seem desperate, don't worry. I am sure he found you attractive as well and he might even be in love with you.
  K: Okay, no need to exaggerate.
What do I say, good morning or hi?
  S: It doesn't matter!
  K: Okay, I'll text you later.
Are you sure I won't seem desperate?
  S: JUST TEXT HIM FOR GOD'S SAKE!
  K: OKAY I WILL!
  S: Don't forget to tell me about it. I gotta go now, talk to you later. xxx
  K: Bye! ❤️
---
There was something different about him. Did she like him because he was attractive or because he was nice to her? She had to admit that he was attractive, but there was something else in his voice, in his looks, in the way he talked. She actually found him beautiful.
  Taking a deep breath, she finally decided to text him.
  K: Good morning. :)
  Was he still asleep? Maybe he was at work. Wait, do writers go to work? Maybe he had another job. Maybe not. Maybe he just did not want to talk to her... Why wasn't he replying?!
  She sighed in frustration as she took a big sip from her coffee and burned her tongue.
  B: Morning, Katherine.
How are you? :)
  He finally replied after 10 minutes. She bit her lip as her heart skipped a beat, and started typing.
  K: I'm good! Getting ready to go to school.
  K: I mean work.
  God, I'm an idiot, she thought.
  K: How about you?
  B: Just got out of shower, that's why I replied late by the way. Sorry about that. :)
  K: I was wondering if you would like to meet again sometime.
  She grinned as she bit her lip, that's what she always did when she was nervous or excited.
---
  K: I would love that! When will you be free?
  B:I'm always available for you.
Whenever you'd like. :)
  She started squealing in excitement. What did he just say?!
  K:I'm free in the afternoon.
  B: Wonderful. How about the café we met?
  K: Sounds good. Is 2PM okay for you?
  B: Yes. I am looking forward to it, Katherine.
  K: So am I. :)
I gotta go now, see you later. x
  B: Have a good day. See you. x
  She looked at her watch and she was 30 minutes late already. Without telling Samantha about it, she started to get ready in a hurry.
  She was never late for work, so no one was upset with her being late.
---
  ''...And my mum said I'm out of my mind!''
  Katherine just could not get him out of her mind, and she hated it. She did listen to her counselee but couldn't pay any attention, and now she was crying. She gave her a tissue, ''I understand you, Jane, and I hope telling me about it made you feel better. I know how difficult it is for you, but I have a suggestion. When I was your age, I found a way to deal with my problems: being your own counselor.'' She smiled warmly.
  ''My own counselor? How?'' The young girl sniffled.
  ''I imagined that I was told about everything I am going through, and I had to find them a way out. Think of it as if you're reading your life in third person of view. I did it for years and I still do when I don't want to tell people about my feelings. Plus, I found out that it was scientifically proven in college, so it is safe and it actually works. How does that sound?''
  She wiped her tears, ''I can try...''
  ''So tell me, what would you say to yourself if you were someone else?''
  ''I think I would say that maybe..." She sniffled, "Maybe her mother wasn't feeling good as well.''
  Katherine smiled, ''That's it! You are right. We all have problems that we don't want to tell the others and sometimes we might burn out on people we care about the most without being aware of it. You can ask your mother if she is feeling alright, it doesn't matter whether you are still upset with her or not; maybe you can help her as well just like you just helped yourself. That was very brave of you, in my opinion.'' She smiled wholeheartedly.
  The girl who was just crying smiled and said ''Thank you very much, Miss Daelan. It's going to be the first thing I'm gonna do when I'm home.''
  ''You're welcome. Feel free to talk to me anytime.'' She got up to open the door for her and then left the room as well before checking her phone.
3 new messages from Samantha
  S: Hey! Send screenshots!!!
Are you there?
Kath!
  K: I'm sorryyyy I was late to work already and then forgot to text you.
Here you go:
*screenshots*
  S: I told you that he liked you as well, he is flirting with you!
  K: No he's not!
  S: He adores you!
  K: You are really exaggerating.
  ''Miss Daelan, do you have a minute?'' Katherine looked up at the principle, "Yes, Mr Brealey."
  K: The principle wants to talk to me, I'll ttyl xxx
  S: What did he say?
  The old man opened his room's door for Katherine, she smiled and walked inside. He gestured her to sit down, "Please, have a seat." he said and closed the door. After sitting down, he cleared his throat and said "Miss Daelan, I... Erm..."
  He loosened his tie, couldn't dare to look at Katherine. His cheeks were red and there was a thin layer of sweat on his forehead. The young woman frowned a little, listening to him in curiosity. "I've known you since the day you started working here and... I must say that you are the most intelligent, kind, beautiful woman I have ever seen... I can't take my eyes off you because you're an amazing woman and I... I love you."
  Katherine was shocked, didn't know what to say at first. She did not feel honored at all, she was disgusted. "Excuse me? I thought you were married!"
  "Yes but I don't love my wife, I'm going to divorce her soon; you must understand Miss Daelan, I love you! Please give me a chance..." And now she felt her blood boil in her veins.
"I am sorry but it's never gonna happen. I suggest you to divorce your wife as soon as possible to keep her away from an asshole like you." Katherine stood up angrily and walked towards the door, "But Miss D--" and she shut the door.
  K: FUCKING HELL!
He said he loves me!
He's fucking married, Samantha!
*seen*
Are you there?
*seen*
  K: I guess you are busy
I'm going home to get ready, talk to you later xxx
  S: Sorry, I had to deal with a costumer
What a prick!!!
How dare he?
I want to kill him.
  K: Violence is never the answer but yeah, I pity on his wife to be honest. He even has children.
ANYWAY
WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR?
S: Whatever you're comfortable with. :)
  K: How about a dress?
The one I wore when we last met?
  S: You look so hot in it 🔥
Wear that one!
  K: It covers all of my body, it's kinda tight and there's NO WAY I can look hot in it. I don't want to look pretentious anyway.
  S: Anything you wear looks good on you, love!
  K: Gay. 🤭
  S: Shut up. Wear it!
  K: LOL sorry!
I gotta go nowww
  S: Tell me all about it when you're home, IF you go back home ;) Good luck!
  K: I WILL and thanks! ❤️
  The young woman sighed as she tried to find her keys. She was still mad at the principal and it was frustrating her.
  After a short shower, she dried her hair with a towel and let her curls down on her shoulders. She wore the dress and looked in the mirror, It actually looks good, she thought. After applying some makeup and wearing her favourite her perfume, she was ready. She didn't like to wait and hated making the others wait for her as well, so she left her flat at 1:30PM. It took her 15 minutes to get to the café and she realized that she wasn't the only one who was punctual.
  "Hi..." She said as she walked towards the man she couldn't get out of her mind. He was wearing a brown jumper with beige trousers and she breathed his masculine, minty cologne in. Her heart was beating faster already.
  "Oh, hi, Katherine!" He stood up and for one second she didn't know what to do. Should she shake his hand or kiss his cheek? Or hug him? The young man leaned down and kissed her cheek before hugging her, she was shaking inside.
  He felt her body close to his. He felt her delicate, pale skin; and her linden scent made him feel dizzy. Her arms hugged his chest and he felt her plump, beautiful breasts. He watched her dress tighten around her curves as she moved.
  She was so beautiful and he could barely keep his hands to himself. He could kiss and take her right there, but didn't. He had to control himself until she submitted to him, which wasn't going to take long because it was in her blood. Submitting, obeying, and being his. He just knew it, and he was going to take what belonged to him. Katherine, belonged to him.
---
Chapter Three
Please let me know what you think! ❤️
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kimthwariru · 3 years
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Another Day
Jungkook x Reader 
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Page 4
Taking this class was a big mistake. What even is a python and why do you have to use it for Data science? You remind yourself that you brought your favorite book with you, just in case. The great Gatsby. Re- reading this book is like entering a new world all over again. It's your comfort book at this point, and you treat it as such. It has sort of turned into a journal. You have highlighted things you liked about each page. You've written opinions on certain conversations, you've circled words you found important. This book had your identity in it. And you loved it for that, even though the exterior was obviously worn out by time, a few torned pieces of paper here and there. still, to you, it looked as good as new.
The bell finally rings and you're free from this nasty lesson. You get up in a hurry, leaving quickly to find May so you could go to the coffee shop right in-front of your Collage. You knew everyone hanged out there, and you told yourselves you would find some people to become friends with. Because if you continued only talking to each other, the only people you would end up knowing would be Jungkook and Hoseok.... And you for sure didn't want to be around that pretentious ass for the rest of your years there. Not that he seemed to want to be around you either.
At this point an hour had passed. You and May found a couple of kids from her class and made some small talk. They seemed chill.
"Tripleleggs classes are just too fun not to attend, am I right y/n?" Felix asked you out of the blue. He was a cute blonde boy with an attractive deep voice and an all around cool vibe.
"Totally agreed! You're taking his classes this semester? I don't think I've seen you around before" you ask
"No, I don't. Took them last year tho. Best year of my life" he chuckled.
"I'm hearing Jungkooks taking all of tripleleggs classes. I swear every girl is attending History of Science because of that asshole" Mina-A friend of Felixs- rolled her eyes.
"Oh come on Mins, you can't be mad at the man forever" Felix pushed her lightly as a friendly gesture.
"Oh sorry remind me next time to thank him for hooking up with me and my best friend at the same time" Mina barked.
You immediately lock eyes with May. You knew he was bad news, but still, getting this reassurance startled you.
"That's terrible Mina..." you say in a serious tone
"What's more terrible is that I let myself believe that he could change. But boys like him never do."
You were walking to your dorm when your body suddenly collided with someone else's. You loose your balance and fall down. You look up, and what you see makes you furious "If you have eyes, use them, or donate them to someone who needs them." you hissed at Jungkook, who was looking at you, his usual stupid smirk on his face.
"Oh y/n...Always with a nice word" he stretched his left toned arm, offering you help to lift you up from the ground while his right veiny hand was holding a blue -very familiar- looking book.
You quickly get up yourself, ignoring his help. "Hey, what's that?" You point to the book
"That, my dear  y/n, is called a book. You should try reading one sometime" he seemed so proud of himself for saying that.
"Very funny" you pause. Taking a good look at the book's cover. No... it can't be? The Great Gatsby? You squint your eyes. Is that a butterfly drawing at the bottom right? No... that can't be right. you quickly open your bag, trying to find your book. Jungkook was staring at you like you had gone mental.
"You ok...?" A weird look on his face
You searched and searched for the book inside your bag, but it was no where to be found. "Hey, where did you get that?" You chanted.
"None of YOUR business" he replied with his usual tone, that a lot of girls would find attractive.
Ugh. He is so fucking annoying. And for what? "Yeah, actually, I think it is." You stared at him in anger "That's MY book. I must have left it in the amphitheatre on the second floor."
Jungkook took a good look at you. Obviously realizing now that this was indeed your book, since he found it exactly there. His face quickly formed a side smile. "Ohhh you're such a hopeless romantic y/n. What a surprise"
You can feel your cheeks burning up  in embarrassment. This book was private and wasn't meant for anyone to look inside it. It was your personal thoughts. Your privacy felt violated. "Reading personal things is not cool. Give it back" you scold him. But he seemed unfazed.
He flipped through the book, and smiled "She laughed again, as she said something very witty, and held my hand for a moment." He mocked the way your voice sounded as you stood in place, frozen. "Looking up into my face, promising that there was no one in the world she so much wanted to see. That was a way she had..."
"You're a huge dick, you know that? Why even read this. You're obviously not the bookworm type."
Jungkook low key looked offended. But it was true, if you looked at the man, the last thing you’d see would be a book lover. He was more of the popular guy in one of those 2016 teen movies. "Hey I like me a good Fitzgerald from time to time!" He threw the book in your hands "Even though The Great Gatsby is shit”
"The Great Gatsby is the best American Novel in history. Asshole"
"Uhhh I don't think so. I mean, we get it. Money. Lots and lots of money. But for most of the novel it almost felt like I was being held captive at one of those boring frat parties. Forced to listen to the wanna be rich guy brag on and ooon about his questionable summer vacation. And all that to impress the girl? Please... Daisy wasn't even worth it."
You frowned like a little girl that was told she couldn't eat anymore ice cream. How can he get on your nerves so much? "Why do you feel the need to always be the controversial guy in the room? Do you win a prize or something?"
"Agreeing with the public is boring. Having opinions is fun." He simply said.
page 5
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aileysmirnov · 3 years
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Loki x Ailey hc! part 1
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I was watching Thor Ragnarok with some friends (over zoom ofc) and then It popped up in my head a conversation that I had with @melyaliz and Alex (ig: shir.0_guru) a while back, and I couldn't shake it off my brain as I was trying to write some other thing. So hopefully writing this down would apace my mind.
TW: Arranged marriage, depictions of emotional/psychological abuse
Summary: Eris and Odin find a solution to what's been threatening their domains, an alliance between 2 of the most powerful families, but Ailey and Loki don't seem so keen about it.
Disclaimer/notes: Ailey is my OC! You can learn more about her in here!
Ailey has finally been reunited with most of her family and entered the realm of gods in this AU.
Samaras is the last name of the Eris family, they are rulers of Thera (Eris kingdom) and each member bears a royal title.
Ailey is the only demi-goddess in her family, Demigods are seen as shameful in this AU and usually they have a birthmark and a weakness that distinguishes them as such. In Ailey's case is her golden rose hair once she transforms in her god-form and her weakness is her allergy to gold, it practically burns her skin, debilitates her magic and herself, is like kryptonite for her.
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The only reason they even know about the other, is because of their parents: Eris had been in conflict with Ares lately, and one of his recent attacks greatly debilitated her army and Odin had trouble with a few of the realms under his command forming complots against him and the safety of Asgard.
Both rulers found themselves in need of the other: Odin had the greatest warriors and military at his service, and Eris being the goddess of discord could easily rise or disipate any conflict that may come her way (except for Ares ofc), an easy way in or out of war.
And so, they decided to form an alliance; But Odin being the wise men he is, knew better than to trust blindly in the goddess of chaos, after all...Eris was known for being a backstabber who acted only to beneficiate her own interests.
To prevent that, Odin decided to make the alliance under the condition that one member of the Samaras family must marry the second son: Loki, God of mischief. And so, Eris agreed and offered her youngest daughter: Ailey goddess of ruin and folly.
God it was an absolute mess since the beginning!
Frigga was the one to inform Loki, who immediately went to Odin to protest, but like always his father ignored him, shutting him down by comparing him to his brother and how he would do anything to protect Asgard but Loki was being selfish.
Ailey in the other hand was kept ignorant of such decision and only knew about it a few hours before the engagement party began and only because a servant accidentally told her.
She was furious and much like Loki tried to protest but Eris couldn't care less about her daughter's opinion.
Ailey could rage all she wanted, Eris wasn't even paying attention, the only thing she was accomplishing was in making her angry.
—Child, I think you tend to forget your place in this world, you see: among humans you might be...special but in here... you're just an idiot with too much privilege—Eris had a way with words that could make them feel like poison, creeping in to the insecurities of one's heart.
—If it weren't for me and your brothers, you would be Hera's new toy, so please remember, dear. You not only owe me but to your brothers and this kingdom as well.
Ailey headed back to her room feeling ashamed and angry, she felt her mother's words had some truth in them, seeing as how different she was viewed here in comparison to the human realm.
When the time came for the engagement party and for Ailey and Loki to meet for the first time, is fair to say neither of them were in a good mood.
Even though deep inside they knew both of them didn't have any say in the matter and were pretty much in the same situation; they still felt irrationally mad at each other, that's why since the moment they met to the end of the ceremony they would throw little passive-aggressive remarks at each other.
She viewed him as a pretentious asshole, and He saw her as a spoiled brat.
Almost near the end of the celebration and no announcement had been made so Eris took it upon herself to throw them into the spotlight.
—I believe you two have something important to share with all of us—her face was smiling but her eyes were threatening.
Ailey bit the inner side of her cheek, rolled her eyes as she turned to face Loki who only gave an exasperated sigh before speaking in a monotone voice
—Do you want to marry me?—he didn't even bothered to get on one knee and just extended the ring for her to take.
Ailey felt tempted to say "no" and walk away gracefully but doing that would probably have a negative impact on Thera, so after a long pause she answered.
—Whatever—and put the ring on, herself.
Clearly a good start :) .
I think they didn't saw each other that much afterwards and when they did it was mostly for wedding arrangements in which they continued with the passive-aggressive comments but this time about everything the other would pick.
The mood was so uncomfortable every time they were together everyone around them was like:
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I think that sometimes they would have moments where they realize they had been too harsh with the other and would tone it down a little but treating each other like that was the only way of protest that was allowed for them.
Specially for Loki since he constantly had to travel to Thera bc for some reason unknown to him Ailey refused to go to Asgard, which only made his negative opinion on her grow.
In his mind, it was probably because she thought she was too good for Asgard but the reality was: Asgard is practically a death sentence for Ailey since 90% of every building in there was made of gold.
But she will never tell him that.
I think their first "moment of closeness" came to be purely out of the realization neither of them had any option other than get married or see their domains destroyed.
So, they decided to call it a truce: both would play along with the whole marriage fiasco for a while until things died down and then they could divorce and pretend they never even met.
And so, the passive-aggressive comments slowly died down, not that they started acting like lovers all of a sudden, instead they acted like they were just... co-workers or something.
They would greet each other in a formal manner and then only talked about the arrangements and left, nothing else.
But then, inevitably they started to get closer.
It was something so gradual none of them really knew how it happened.
It started off with small comments about decoration ideas for the venue, it turns out they both had quite the interest in interior design.
Eventually those small comments became lengthy conversations about which combination of colors would look the best.
When it came down to learning about the nobility attending the wedding on each side, both would spend a little more time together. Studying the proper way on how to address them and their interests all for the possibility in forming new alliances.
But I feel like instead they would roast the hell out of them, like they would be going through a list of the Asgardian nobility that were to attend and Ailey would just point at a picture of a random Asgardian noble and go: "Oh. My. God. what is he even wearing?"
And Loki would try to force back a smile or a laugh but eventually he would just give in and start joining Ailey in the roasting.
They also have a very similar sense of humor, but Ailey is just more blunt and open about it while Loki isn't, I feel like most of the time he has genius comebacks to stupid comments people make but he's a gentleman and normally just keeps it to himself or would only say it in a polite but slightly aggressive manner, so when Ailey just bluntly says something similar to what he was thinking he can't help but laugh a bit (he won't admit to it though)
Other things Ailey and Loki have in common is their love for drama and spectacle, while Ailey is more of a ballet/dance-based plays person, she understands Loki’s enthusiasm for theater and books even sharing some of it herself.
Not only they enjoy these things, but they also found comfort in them: For Ailey ballet began as something her mother forced upon her but transformed in an outlet for her emotions and a way to connect and control her powers.
For Loki theater was a form of escapism since he was a child, every time he felt like he didn’t belong he found a safe place in countless stories of the misunderstood heroes.
This only makes their bond grow deeper; up until this point they never had anyone to talk to about their interests in such depth, so now they talk all the time about it, sometimes they would surprise themselves looking forward to the next meeting just to gush about a new play or book they just saw or read.
I feel like Loki might’ve even lend Ailey some copies of his favorite books and Ailey as a “thank you” decided to sneek out with him to the human realm to watch "Tristan und Isolde".
Everyone is able to notice the change in attitude of these two, especially Thor who only had heard about the girl but could tell how happy she made him every time Loki would mention her.
And he was happy for his brother but felt curious about his soon to be sister-in-law.
So, it was only natural when Thor asked Loki if he could tag along the next time he went to Thera.
He said no.
Thor went anyways.
When Ailey met him, she could only think about one thing: "he himbo" which she thought was cute btw.
Thor could see why Loki liked this girl so much, they were practically the same, which he found sweet yet amusing.
—Lady Ailey, a pleasure to meet you, mi brother has told me a lot about you!—he stated.
—Really?!—Ailey questioned directing an incredulous glance at Loki. 
—He asked­—Loki tried to defend himself by downplaying his brother statement. 
—No, I didn’t.—Thor retaliated with a mocking smile, he could tell his brother felt embarrassed so he decided to tease him a bit more. 
—In fact, he won’t shut up about you. 
—That’s not true, he’s just.. 
—No, he’s all the time saying Ailey this, Ailey that. It peaked my curiosity and so here I am… 
—Brother, Could you shut up?—Ailey could only smile and hold back a laugh at the brothers spontaneous quarrel. 
Truth is she thought it was sweet of Loki to talk about her with his brother. And teases him about it afterwards.
I think Thor might talk privately with Ailey and would ask her to take care of his brother. 
—I know Loki can be a bit…difficult, but have patience with him, I can tell he really likes you. 
And Thor was correct, Loki really did like her. But it might take a while for him to come to terms with his feelings, and would only manifest in small gestures towards Ailey, like: tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, subconsciously offering his arm for her to take as support when walking down the stairs, placing a hand on the small of her back as guidance whenever they were in a crowded space, sneaking small glances at her, etc.
Overall, he starts acting a lot softer with her, a lot more caring.
Ailey might be a bit oblivious to this (since she’s only used to overly sexual advances and has a difficult time understanding genuine affection), but she appreciates it none the less.
And both might even find themselves thinking that maybe…just maybe spending the rest of their lives together isn’t a bad idea after all.
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dachi-chan25 · 4 years
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I had books that I either loved or hated so idk maybe I need to do another unhaul to ensure I read books I'll actually enjoy.
1- OtherEarth (Otherworld #2) by Jason Segel
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So this was a big disappointment. It started out fine, but I had this bad feeling about what the twist of this book would be about 50% into it, and then the twist comes and it was just as bad as I feared. Honestly I don't even know if I wanna continue with the last book, I have it but honestly I can't say I am looking forward to it, it wasn't just the plot that fell down but the characters felt pretty inconsistent and yeah not a fan.
2.- Fireborne (The Aurelian Cycle #1) by Rosaria Munda
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The only thing I knew going into this was that it was inspired by Plato's Republic and that it was similar to Game of Thrones, so maybe that is why I found it pretty underwhelming. Like yeah I could see why it was based off the Republic with this system of education (tbh I still found it pretty basic and very much alike to other social systems I've read in other YA books) and there was some intresting tid-bits but not enough to keep me intrested. Now the characters, I liked both individually (unpopular opinion but I liked Annie more, I thought she had real potential but it was wasted because the moment she and Lee have this romance her character completely lost herself on thinking about him and what he did all the time) but I do not think they worked together romantically. There is some potential drama for book 2 but I am not intrested in reading it.
3.- The Mistress (The Original Sinners #4) by Tiffany Reisz
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This book was so good. Yeah it was super predictable, but the drama tho. I really loved Layla, she gave us an outsider's insight on Søren and Nora's relationship, and she is just the sweetest that I instantly knew she and Weasley were gonna get together. I cried at that last confrontation scene with Nora and Marie Laure and I am so happy that Nora is back together with Søren because they are truly a good couple despide everything.
4.-Gods of Jade and Shadow - Silvia Moreno Garcia
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I LOVED it. Ever since I saw the cover I was sold. This book I feel like it was meant for me. Like our protagonist Casiopea Tún is a dark skinned mexican girl of mayan descent in the 1920s who meets one of the lords of Xibalba and goes on a quest to help him retake his throne???? And on the way he falls in love with her so much he is about to forfeit his divinity to have a chance to be with her. I just, it was so beautiful, I felt my culture was really represented here, and it's so wierd to see the 1920's represented in Mexico I don't believe I had read something like this before and I will read anything Silvia Moreno Garcia writes from now on. Hopefully we will have a second book for this because that ending makes me wonder what adventures Casiopea will have.
5.-Little Gods by Meng Jin
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This book blew my mind. The structure is perfect for the themes . Su Lan was a truly fascinating character though I felt very sad about her, always wanting to escape her past and thinking she was so undeserving for anything good in her life and still fighting to go on. The ending was so good, and all the cast of characters made an excellent conection between the past and the future.
6.- As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner
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Yeah I am a pretentious ho. I was very intimidated by this book (and anything written by Faulkner really) and I was really having trouble understanding the book at first because the prose is so particular (there are sentences that read like Shakespeare, some are almost Biblical stuff and then most of the dialogue is this very coloquial english with very poor ortography) and as English is not my first lenguage I struggled. But then we get to Addie's death and all this odyssey the family goes through to bury her, and it was so beautiful and exciting. I especially loved everything about Addie's chapter, she was so much better than her husband and she deserved better than what she got. I really liked Dewey Dell and Darl. While I hated Anse Bundren with a passion so the end really made me angry like waaaaat this selfish asshole gets everything he wanted and then some??? But I got why it made sense for the book. So I definitely recommend this, but my advice is to let yourself glide through the book, do not try to understand or make sense of it as you start it because then you become frustrated like it happened to me at first but it's a really beautiful book so I am really considering reading more Faulkner.
7.-Chosen (Slayer #2) by Kiersten White
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I enjoyed this book so much. It's a very easy read and we get some growth on Nina and Artemis. I liked the idea of the Watcher's Castle being a refuge for inofenssive demons. And omgggg I fangirled SO hard when Oz, Harmony and Clem appeared (my fave characters, like literally I only need a Spike cameo in these books to be completely happy). I really wanna see Nina meet Buffy in real life and ahhh I am excited for whatever the next book will bring us.
8.-Out of Salem by Hal Schrieve
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This is perharps my favorite book I read this month. It felt so relevant to things that are happening in the world, but escapist enough to bear it. For starters I love a good urban fantasy setting, and this was it. Z was a great non-binary protagonist (the fact the author is also non-binary also helps) like it was pretty original to make them a zombie when necromancy is viewed as wrong in their society and they get discriminated for it even though they knew nothing about how it happened to them. And their friendship with Aysel (lesbian muslim werewolf girl!!!) and Tommy (shapeshifter boy) was amazing. Like the way this book translates real life bigotry and social injustice to this magical creatures was truly amazing I recommend it to everyone of any age. Especially middle graders as this book is meant for that age group and I feel this is an amazing diverse read for that age group.
9.-El murmullo de las abejas de Sofia Segovia
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Realmente este libro es precioso, soy una super fan del realismo mágico y este libro realmente me toco el corazón. Aunque he de admitir que entre a este libro sin saber nada, y bueno que este libro pega diferente en el 2020, yo no tenía ni idea que este libro nos presentaba la Pandemia de Influenza Española de 1918, y bueno es bastante triste leer todo lo que paso cuando nosotros estamos pasando épocas muy similares. Simonopio es un personaje divino, poseedor de una sensibilidad y una inocencia verdaderamente fuera de esta mundo, y la forma en que la familia Morales lo adopta y lo abraza tan profundamente dentro de la familia es realmente hermosa. Fue muy difícil leer acerca de Anselmo Espiricueta porque puedo ver de donde venía todo ese odio y esa ignorancia que terminaron en tragedia y no puedo dejar de sentir lastima por él a pesar de todo el mal que hace durante el libro. Recomiendo mucho esta lectura.
10.-Riot Baby by Tochi Onyebuchi
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A book so relevant in our current times. So powerful and impactful even if the book is pretty short. We get to see how the systematic racisim at work. We get to get a glimpse of this awful reality through Kev and Ella, two gifted siblings that have lived this experiences in different ways and they cope with this in vastly different ways.It was such an intimate read I cannot begin to describe how angry and sad it made me, but also very glad I got to read it because we need to keep being aware that this is the reality for black people all around the world and they don't get to shy away from it so we shouldn't either we should see, learn and fight as hard as we can to change things for the better.
11.-Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
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I re-read this book to have it fresh in my mind before the new series airs on July. And I liked it better now than the 1st time. This world is so scary because I see so many realistic elements it shares with the present. I felt a lot for Lenina (for everyone who lives in this world really) because she wanted more than what the society had to offer yet was so deeply conditioned as to what was right that she could just supress her emotions with soma. This book is of course full of racist and sexist stuff (cuz woman and indigenous people can never win) but I feel it helps to get a feel about how fucked up society is as a whole. In the reservation woman are subjected to the usual slut shaming and gender roles we get in our society while in London we get a world in which woman are judged for not sleeping around and being happy and infantile. Like it seems controling woman and their relationship to intimacy and sex is always a bit theme is classic dystopic books which makes a lot of sense given it works like that in the real world too. Same thing with indigenous people being treated as savage to congratula te ourselves for being so much more "civilized" never stopping to think how deeply fractured and flawed this may be. We also get explotation and brain washing of working classes and all that fun stuff. Really and amazing book eerily accurate tho.
12.-Brick Lane by Monica Ali.
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This is the story of 2 very different Bangladeshi sisters with very different temperaments making their way through life. Nazneen is a very dutiful daughter that marries the man her father picked for her, moves to London, though her husband doesn't make her happy she tries very hard in this foreign country with so many desires of her own she wishes that she always supresses because of her upbringing. Then we have Hesina, she was always beautiful and runs away with a guy she was in love with, later he abandons her and she gets jobs and loses them because different man keep making her fall for them to abandon them later. Different as they are this 2 Sisters keep relying in each other through letters. I thought it was very moving, and I really liked the ending for Nazneen while Hasina left me feeling worried and unhappy.
13.- Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir
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I was very hyped for this book and I am so sad I didn't like it. I just didn't feel the world building was cohesive (we have space travel but we don't have baths??? And rapiers as weapons??? Most of it felt like aesthetic decisions) the characters felt very one dimensional to me. And the plot was all over the place, just when I thought I knew what it was about it takes another turn and introduces so many generes but it did not feel natural at all so yeah I will not be reading the next one.
14.- Luces de Bohemia de Ramón Maria del Valle Inclan
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Me pareció una obra maravillosa. Definitivamente captura el espíritu creativo bohemio.
15 .- Don Juan Tenorio de José Zorrilla
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Yo adoro el Tenorio, sin embargo si que he de decir que prefiero la versión del Burlador de Sevilla de Tirso de Molina pues siento que el final es más adecuado. Me parece que aunque la prosa es hermosa Doña Ines pierde mucha agencia en esta versión, me recuerda mucho más a Angelina de la obra "El Honor del Brigadier" que la versión que hizo de ella Tirso de Molina, definitivamente se romántiza mucho más está figura de seductor canalla en esta versión, aun así es una historia arraigada en México, es una tradición para mi verla cada Noviembre, este año me temo que no será posible así que disfrute muchísimo leerla.
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I have a question: why do you think Dirk likes Todd so much? Not to be overly personal, but Todd is basically me, so thanks to my own shitty self-esteem I struggle sometimes to see why Dirk would like him. I feel like an asshole saying that, but my point isn't to shit on Todd—I hate feeling that way towards him and want to understand his value. And since you occasionally yell about how much you love Todd, I thought you might enjoy answering. But no pressure if you don't feel like it! :)
(This got so far out of hand I’m putting a cut in and I’m so fucking sorry I just love talking about these characters. Also there’s waaaay more that I wanted to put in here but I’ve had a busy day so sorry for leaving stuff out/potentially repeating myself and thank you for this question!) 
Oh man, hello fellow Todd person, I am also a Todd person! But I think I actually have an answer for this and it’s down to what Todd sees vs what Dirk sees. 
Todd sees himself as a sum of his past mistakes. He looks at a list of ways he’s failed himself and the people he loves, and thinks that’s all there is to him. Todd is also consumed by guilt, he’s been lying to so many people for so long and he’s tangled himself up in it so much that all of his energy goes into maintaining that lie and because he spends so much time keeping his story straight the fact that he’s created this big lie is always at the forefront of his mind. Todd doesn’t see any redeemable qualities in himself because he sees everything he does that’s good as a product of guilt and in some ways a form of repentance. In his mind he isn’t working shitty jobs to look after Amanda because he loves her, he’s doing it because he hurt her and he needs to make up for it. He doesn’t see himself as being loyal, because he’s cut himself off from any outside friendships, likely because he doesn’t think he deserves them. Todd declares himself to be an asshole, because saying that gives him justification to keep beating himself up because he thinks he deserves it, rather than admitting he’s a good person who did a terrible thing when he was younger. The reason he does this is because if he keeps saying he’s a bad person he can justify not coming clean, because coming clean is something you do if you want to change. Todd has already changed, he’s already a good person, but he can’t let himself think that because if he does then he has to tell the truth. At this point, thinking he’s terrible and beating himself up over it is a defence mechanism, because he knows he’ll lose Amanda if she finds out and he’s scared of that. Conveniently, the longer he doesn’t tell her the more he can use it as evidence that he’s a terrible person and it becomes a rinse-repeat cycle. 
Constantly beating yourself up over something you did is a form of avoidance, you never deal with it, because dealing with it means forgiving yourself in some way and self hatred can become just as much of a crutch as anything else. Todd thinks he’s selfish, and in some ways he is, but not the ways he thinks. “I don’t have any friends because I’m an asshole” is much easier for him to stomach than “I don’t have any friends because I push people away because I’m scared I’ll hurt them” because if he admits that then he admits he cares about people, that he doesn’t want to hurt people, but he did something that hurt them anyway. Dirk says Todd is making excuses for his excuses, and he’s right. Todd has to cast himself as a bad guy, because the implications of what he did if he doesn’t are too much. If he’s not a bad person it just means he made the choice to do a bad thing, it wasn’t fate, it wasn’t always going to be that way, he has to take ownership of it and no matter your opinion about people who do bad things that’s scary. Todd isn’t a bad person, he’s scared and defensive and guilty. He’s like an animal who’s trapped himself into a corner and is lashing out in panic. 
Dirk knows this. It would be easy to say Dirk just latches onto Todd because he wants a friend, or because he’s lonely, but to do that would be a disservice to Dirk’s character. Sure, Dirk is a good person and yes, he desperately wants a friend, but to say he’d be friends with anyone even if they’re a terrible person and keep on hurting him turns him into someone who doesn’t have any agency in his own relationships and that’s just not true. Dirk has a more subjective sense of good and bad than Todd does. Todd sees things in a much more black and white manner when it comes to himself, he did a bad thing so he’s a bad person, but Dirk doesn’t see things the same way. Dirk knows what bad people look like, and he knows what bad people do. He knows bad people don’t give away the last of their money to their sister, he knows that bad people don’t desperately try to make up for something they did wrong. When Dirk asks Todd why he didn’t just get a job, I think Todd’s answer solidifies this for him, because Todd doesn’t try to justify it he just lays it out. If we contrast this to the confrontation he has with Riggins it’s clear that Riggins doesn’t think he’s a bad person, he can justify what he did to himself and he tries to justify it to Dirk. Dirk sees something in Todd that Todd doesn’t see in himself, he sees guilt the same way Todd does, but he sees the desperation to put things right. Todd is so blinded by the fact that he did this terrible thing that he can’t step back to see how much it’s affected him too. Todd thinks he can never change, but he fails to see that he already has. Dirk sees that. 
Dirk likes Todd because he tries. Todd has absolutely no reason to throw his lot in with Dirk. He doesn’t owe him anything, hell at this point Dirk hasn’t actually done anything to endear himself to Todd, and it would be fair to say that Dirk is the only tangible thing Todd has to blame for all the bad shit that’s happened to him since he fell into his life. It is absolutely batshit insane that Todd goes along with him, but Dirk did something that was very important. He asked Todd for help. 
 Todd is what I like to call a perpetual big brother. He puts himself into the caretaker role without even realising he’s doing it and whether he knows it or not he defines himself by being a person who looks after others. Todd needs to be needed by other people, everything that drives him is external, and for someone who paints himself as a selfish uncaring asshole, there are few if any actions Todd takes that he does with himself in mind. Even going after the lottery ticket is because the money will help him to help Amanda, and I’m pretty sure when Dorian points that gun at him Todd’s thinking about how she’ll be on her own without him. Sure, Todd isn’t a sunny person who will help everyone he meets, but if you get close enough and work your way into the circle of people he cares about he will do absolutely anything for you. Dirk recognises this, and it’s funny, because Todd thinks he’s selfish but when Dirk tells Todd to take control of his life he’s actually telling him he’s not being selfish enough. That he’s desperate and he can’t keep going on like this because it’s going to burn him out, and he’s right. 
Dirk likes Todd because not only does he listen to him, he actually takes what he says on board and goes out and does it. Todd is loyal, he’s determined and despite everything he’s fairly open minded. He puts a level of trust into Dirk that I can’t imagine many people do, because even though he doesn’t have a fucking clue what’s going on he goes with him anyway, and it’s not out of a “yay! Lets go on an adventure!” sense of curiosity, I honestly think one of the reasons Todd goes with Dirk is because he’s pretty sure Dirk is going to get himself killed if he doesn’t, and Todd would feel responsible for not helping him. (Also because he secretly enjoys it lets be honest.) But Todd, even though he doesn’t understand and doesn’t (outwardly) believe him, trusts that Dirk believes in what he’s doing and it seems to be getting them somewhere and he goes along with it. 
Dirk also likes Todd because Todd doesn’t treat him like a child. The thing is that, yes, Todd can absolutely be a bit of an asshole. (It takes a special kind of person to go to a live music show wearing your own bands t-shirt and hit on a girl by telling her the band she’s clearly enjoying sucks, what a pretentious idiot.) But Todd is a dickhead in a blunt way. He’ll call Dirk out on his shit just as much as Dirk calls him out on his, but he’ll believe him when it matters, and when he needs him he’ll be there. Todd nearly gets killed on this case, and understandably he’s angry and upset and blames Dirk for it, but when he’s called out and given a little perspective he goes back, and he apologises in his own way, and he stays. He was under no obligation to do any of this, and yes it may partly be because he wants friends, but it’s also because he cares about Dirk. Nobody, no matter how much you think you love him from beyond the screen, could put up with as much of Dirk Gently’s Dirk-ness as Todd does without caring for them deeply. 
So here’s another thing. Dirk changed Todd’s life, but Todd also changed Dirk’s. They balance each other, and one reason Dirk likes Todd so much is that he gives him what he needs. They both do. A question you could ask is why does Todd like Dirk? He’s the polar opposite of anyone you’d expect Todd to be friends with on the surface, but in this show we’re blessed because we get to see below the surface and what we find there tells a different story. Dirk is also an asshole a lot of the time, they’re both blunt people, but they’re both gentle enough to counteract each other. Todd is an idiot, he did a bad thing, he makes bad choices, he lashes out when he feels backed into a corner and he knows how to hurt people if he wants to. Todd is also loyal, he’s brave, he cares deeply and strongly, he wants the best for the people in his life no matter the cost to himself. He’s headstrong and determined and very, very good at putting up a defensive asshole front, just like Dirk is very, very good at putting up a everything is fine happy-go-lucky front. They work because they can see past the fronts, they recognise that in each other and they can see what’s underneath. 
Dirk likes Todd because the way Todd thinks about himself isn’t all he is, and it also isn’t true. Todd thinks he’s the same person who told that lie, he thinks he deserves everything bad he gets, he thinks he owes it to the people he cares about to make himself suffer. Dirk sees Todd for what he is, even the fucking terrible parts, and he likes him anyway because he can see everything. He gets the bigger picture, he gets first hand experience of seeing Todd try, seeing how hard he tries, seeing how scared he is that he’ll never do enough to make up for it without realising that trying is enough. Dirk is on the receiving end of a certain kind of softness that Todd has, because Todd can be blunt, but he can also be gentle and kind if he needs to be. He gets frustrated easily and he doesn’t have much patience but he wants to help, he’s supportive, and a lot of the frustration comes from Dirk not letting him. Dirk likes Todd for all the things Todd can’t see about himself, but the good news is that Dirk wants Todd to recognise these things in himself, and he’s helping him get there. So I suppose if you think like Todd you need to remember you only have one side of the picture, and you’ve only got it in black and white. There’s more nuance than what you can see, than what you’re letting yourself see, and if I can offer you some advice as one Todd person to another (who may be a little further on the road out of self loathing than you are), listen to Dirk Gently. You’re making excuses for your excuses. Being an asshole isn’t a personality trait, it’s a series of actions and choices. Take different actions, make better choices. If you’re beating yourself up over it then you already want to, you’re just scared of what it means for you. But if you’re like Todd, then you’re also brave even when you’re terrified, you’re also determined, you already know what doing the right thing (whether it’s for yourself or for someone else) is, you just have to have someone shake you a little and tell you to do it. So embrace being kinder, embrace being gentle, you don’t have to do this with everyone obviously that would be exhausting, you can stay standoffish, but the people you care about? It’s okay to let them know that. Stop beating yourself up over things you can’t change and start focusing on the things you can. The most important lesson Todd needs to learn is how to let himself be loved, flaws and all, and how to love himself. Go do that. Be a trier. It’s way more punk than being a dick because you think you’ll feel better if you give people an excuse to hate you. 
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agathcn · 6 years
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Why don't you like anna and the french kiss?
My answer will be full of spoilers, so if you want to read the book and you don’t want to get spoiled, don’t continue reading.
Okay, when I first starting getting into reading, which was like two or three years ago, I watched a lot of booktube videos for recommendations and every single person I watched a video of raved about this book and the trilogy in general. They claimed that it was one of the cutest books they’ve read so I, a fluff enthusiast, decided to give it a shot. Instead of having a good time, though, and dying from all the cutesy content I was promised, I finished this book feeling extremely frustrated. 
Now, when I first read that book I gave it 3 stars on Goodreads because I just wanted to move on with my life and forget about this book (and also, I might have been kind of afraid to express an unpopular opinion). But as the days went by, I couldn’t stop thinking about this book and how awful I thought it was and the more I thought about it, the more angry and frustrated I got with it. So I decided to drop the rating down to a 1 star, but if Goodreads had a “zero stars, made me want to scratch my eyes off” rating, that’s what its appropriate rating would be and that’s for the following reasons:
The characters. I’ll focus on the two main characters later, but for now let’s talk about the secondary and background characters. All of them, without exception, in my opinion were cardboard cutouts of people who had like, one defining personality trait and most of whom served only one purpose: making the main character look like she’s the best human being on earth. Now, you might be thinking that typically characters like that are pretty neutral or whatever but I hated every single one of them. Ten out of them, would stab all of them.
Anna. She is the typical innocent girl, who ,of course, is different from the rest of the girls, which she wants to remind us 24/7 by talking about how she wants to be the best female film critic and by telling us all the quirky things she does, like going to the cinema 10 times a week when she can’t really afford food. In my entire life, in all the books I’ve read, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more stupid and ignorant character. Like, bitch goes to France, the capital of all things art and especially film, which is supposedly her biggest passion, and she doesn’t think that they’d be cinemas there? And when she has this epiphany that places other than America have movie theaters, she decides to watch only American, modern films. Like, sure Jan, you’re going to be the best film critic. Also, this dumb bitch goes to an English speaking school and she’s too afraid to order from the cafeteria because she thinks that they only speak French there. As I said at the beginning of this paragraph, she’s supposed to be this innocent angel who does no wrong, but later on we see her hating on and badmouthing every single person she doesn’t like, betray her friends and describing beating her crush’s girldfriend in way too much detail.
Etienne. He’s supposed to be the local hottie, the best looking guy in the school and the guy that every girl with eyes wants to have. In reality, though, he’s the biggest fucking asshole you’ll ever meet. He is constantly flirting with Anna, even though he has a girlfriend. He is two timing Anna and his girlfriend, Ellie, for almost the entire book but nobody calls him out on his fucking bullshit because he’s such a cutie! Why are all the girls in love with such a fucking huge piece of shit? He is a pretentious douchebag who keeps seeing Anna even though he has no plans on breaking up with his girlfriend anytime soon. 
Cheating. From what you’ve read above it is pretty clear that Etienne is emotionally (and I believe physically, too, because I think that him and Anna kiss while he’s still technically with Ellie, but I might be wrong) and nowhere in the book is there any conversation about this, except for when Anna thinks that what she’s doing is wrong from like two seconds, but then she continues doing it anyway. 
Girls hating on other girls. This book, man. I am sick and tired of seeing this “trope” and this book is filled with nothing but. Anna, this pure sweet girl, is constantly putting down other girls, just because they’re interested on the same guy she likes or they’re dating her ex boyfriends. She doesn’t stop calling other girls slutty and skanky, she keeps criticizing what they’re wearing and that doesn’t stop to girls she doesn’t really know, but she feels the need to talk shit on Meredith, who is supposed to be her friend. Like, fuck off. She’s always badmouthing Ellie, even though she’s done nothing wrong to her? Oh yes, how dare the girlfriend of the guy I like be in a relationship with him???? 
The hypocrisy. As mentioned above, Anna always talks down on other girls because she’s much better than them, when in reality she does the exact same shit. She claims that all the girls who like Etienne push their boobs and butts out so he’d pay attention to them, when she, queen of hypocrisy, grinds on him, shares a bed with him three times and is constantly flirting and going on dates with him. Also, while she’s flirting hardcore with Etienne, Anna is supposed to be liking this Christopher guy, who she has barely spoken to since going to France, but she expects him to wait for her. She later on discovers that her bestie from back home is dating the guy she supposedly likes and gets very angry, and I’ll give her that because what her friend did was fucked, but then she proceeds to do the same to her friend Meredith, who she knows really likes Etienne. What an amazing friend.
The message. I am a firm believer that books don’t necessarily need to have a meaning or that they need to include a life lesson at the end. Some books exist just to be a fun read and I think that’s what this book was trying to do, but instead we got a message that was very wrong and fucked up. Basically, it’s okay to emotionally cheat on people, admit to the girl that you fancy that you prefer her more than your actual girlfriend and you’d much rather be with her, continue playing with people’s feelings, hurt others but at the end it’s all good because all of that doesn’t matter and you get to live happily ever after with the girl you cheated on your girlfriend with. A lot of people think that this is okay but it’s not because cheating is never excused, no matter how much of a bitch you think his girlfriend is, no matter how much you ship those people and how cute you think they are. Oh, and about Anna and Etienne’s relationship. The author is clearly using the entire cheating thing to give the whole situation an angsty vibe when in reality this entire relationship is tale and boring. Another message that this book puts out to the world is that it’s okay to hate on people because they stand in the way of what you want and it’s alright to be thinking about hurting and ridiculing them. The author, through this book, makes people stand by Anna and support her bad behavior, even though in the process many people are getting hurt.
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