#artemis fowl fanfiction
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The Mudman
Wife and I just watched the 1999 cinematic masterpiece The Mummy, starring Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz. Which, in turn, reminded me of this interaction I had with the incredible @weeinterpreter (back before ionlymadethissoicouldleaveanask so I was still on anonymous). Anyway, I wrote this thing.
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A hot, dry wind blew through the dirty streets, stirring up dust and sand in every nook and cranny throughout the seaside port. Holly shook her head in an attempt to ward off a swarm of some sort of flying pest. She would have raised her hand to protect herself, but she was so laden down by luggage that she didn’t have a hand to spare.
“What a dreadful place,” complained the man beside her, dropping a net from the brim of his Jacobsen hat to protect his face. “I don’t believe I’ve felt a breeze so hot since… well, I’m not entirely sure that I’ve ever felt such an awful heat.”
“Oh Artemis, you must be exhausted, especially considering all that luggage you’re hauling around,” Holly grunted, staring pointedly first at her brother’s empty hands, then down at his trunk that she had been lugging along with her own.
Artemis didn’t even have the decency to look embarrassed. “I am, thank you for commiserating,” he answered with a long-suffering sigh, refusing to rise to her challenge. “I don’t know how I manage to survive all these hair-brained adventures of yours.”
“You certainly don’t mind all of the money you’ve made off of my hairbrained adventures,” Holly reminded him with a prod of her elbow.
Her brother smiled, his pale skin and sardonic grin appearing even more vampiric than usual in the harsh sunlight of the port. “But of course, dearest sister,” he hummed. “Someone must keep the family’s financial affairs in order, after all. If it weren’t for me, who would fund your incredible adventures?”
“Truly you are the most valuable member of this expedition,” Holly praised him with a roll of her eyes. She looked around the port, dropping the luggage she had been hauling as they reached the plank of the ship they were to board. “So,” she said, wiping her hands clean of dust on her canvas pants, “where is this contact of yours? You always find such unsavory, unhelpful people to work with. What was the name of this one again? Something ridiculous… Plank? Carp?”
“Kelp,” answered a voice from directly behind her.
Holly wheeled around, her shoulders hunching and a bashful grin crossing her lips.
The man behind her was tall, with short brown hair and eyes of such dark blue that in the sunshine they almost looked purple. He grinned down at her with surprisingly perfect teeth and a distractingly strong jawline. “Don’t worry,” he reassured her, brushing a strand of hair back into place from where it had fallen across his forehead, “I’m well aware that the name is ridiculous. Just wait until you hear my first name.”
Holly’s mouth worked open and shut a few times, but she just kept staring at him in stunned silence.
“Well,” Kelp said, that smug, frustratingly handsome grin still not leaving his face, “this is our ship. Can I help you with your bags?” Without another word he stooped down and grabbed both of their trunks, hauling them up the plank to their ship.
Artemis smirked, reaching up with two fingers to close Holly’s open mouth for her. “Just as you said,” he remarked with a grin. “Terribly unsavory. A horribly unpleasant sort.”
She rounded to bite something sarcastic back at her brother, but whatever her angry remark would have been was cut short when a grubby hand landed on her shoulder. She looked around in confusion before casting her eyes down to see an extraordinarily hairy little man smiling up at her, displaying a row of startlingly large teeth and mischievous eyes.
“Artemis, do we know this one?” she asked in surprise.
Her brother sighed dramatically, lifting one hand beneath his portable bug screen to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Mister Diggums, our financier for this particular expedition,” he said by means of introduction. Then he leaned toward the small, furry man and whispered, “I was under the impression that you were going to be a silent partner on this excursion.”
“Nonsense, my boy,” Diggums laughed heartily, clapping Artemis on the shoulder with his other hand. “You’ve known me long enough by now to know that I am never silent. I shall be joining you to protect my investment.” With that, the newcomer trundled up the ramp behind Kelp.
Holly shot her brother a glance. “Well, come on then,” she said, knocking him ahead with her shoulder. “This is going to be fun.”
#artemis fowl#af#af fandom#artemis fowl fanfiction#my writing#holly short#trouble kelp#mulch diggums#the mummy#the 1999 cinematic masterpiece#starring brendan fraser and rachel weisz
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It’s that time of year again!!!!
I’m going to try to do Whumptober (famous last words) but we’ll see how it goes! I’m taking requests for prompt fills, so give me all your suggestions!!
I want to write for:
-Patron Saint of Lost Causes
-Lockwood & Co
-Six of Crows
-Artemis Fowl
-maybe Percy Jackson? I can try but I’ll need Maeve to help me
If you want to suggest another fandom, go for it and I’ll see if it’s something I can manage!
I’m going to put all the available prompts under the cut, claim away!!
1: @eveningstar477
2: @aswallowssong
3: @aswallowssong
4: @fragolinaa
5: @beatleszeppelin
6: @fragolinaa
7: @quiddoditto
8: @cats-and-metersticks
No. 9: “Learning everything ain't what it seems, that's the thing about these days.”
Polaroid | Mistaken Identity | “You're a liar.”
10: @informedimagining
11: @fragolinaa
12: @fragolinaa
13: @cats-and-metersticks
14: @sotakeabitofcalpol
15: @vahineri
16: @hylianengineer
17: @fragolinaa
18: @ultra-queenofnothing-blog
No. 19: “I’ll take one final step, all you have to do is make me.”
Floral Bouquet | Psychological | “I’m not as stupid as you think I am.”
20: @cats-and-metersticks
21: @fragolinaa
22: @fragolinaa
No. 23: “It’s gonna get me by the end of the night.”
Shadows | Stalking | “Who’s there?”
24: @vahineri
25: @fragolinaa
26: @cats-and-metersticks
27: @fragolinaa
28: @fragolinaa
29: @fragolinaa
30: @aswallowssong
31: @cats-and-metersticks
Alternatives List:
1: Betrayal
2: @quiddoditto
3: Brass Knuckles
4: Decoy
5: Body Modification
6: @lydiagracelesbianqueen
7: Examination
8: Hunting
9: Dragging
10: @eveningstar477
11: @eveningstar477
12: Broken
13: @quiddoditto
14: Lab Rat
15: Reluctant Whumper
#whumptomber#whumptober 2023#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#au: patron saint of lost causes#Lockwood and co#Lockwood & co#Locklyle#Anthony Lockwood#Lucy Carlyle#six of crows#Lockwood and co fanfiction#six of crows fanfiction#Kaz Brekker#Nina Zenik#Kanej#Inej Ghafa#artemis fowl#Artemis fowl fanfiction
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Foaly: Right, let’s see what I have here....Nettle korma for Holly, I’m having the carrot bhajis, and for you, Mud Man, a hedgerow curry. Eat up and be thankful.
Artemis: Thank you....oh, wait, no, sorry, but I can’t eat this.
Foaly: Oh, so our food’s not good enough for you now? What’s wrong with it, m’lord? Let me guess, it’s the wrong the colour, or it wasn’t prepared by a cordon blea chef.
Artemis: No, the colour and preparation look adequate. But it has foxglove roots in it, which are poisonous to humans. May I decline, or would you rather I consume it and vomit all over the table for the sake of diplomacy? Ask me nicely and I’ll try and pass out neatly in the corner.
Foaly:.....Would you care for a carrot bhaji?
#humanproblems
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No one believes Orion when he says he has a secret birthmark. But he does! He swears he does! It's got a dagger, and a crown, and laurels, and it has to mean something! But no one listens, and no one will even look.
The thing is, Artemis doesn’t have the birthmark. It only appears when Orion is fronting! It has to be destiny, some kind of sign, a sign that he should break out of the mental hospital in haven and fulfill his destiny as-
Well, something. He’s not quite sure yet.
But what he is sure of is that every night, Artemis grows more and more paranoid- more and more eager to get out of the hospital, too, and willing to go wherever Orion wants, as long as it’s not home.
One night, when Butler is elsewhere, Artemis and Orion together decide to stage a daring escape! After stealing a shuttle and crash-landing a ways away from the airport, Orion buys a ticket under a fake name and goes where the burning fire in his soul is telling him to- one Mount Dunsinane, in the United States.
Orion, with Artemis in tow within, arrives at the mountain just in time to see it light up with a symbol- the very same symbol as his secret birthmark! Vindication!
And better yet, a quest! When they arrive at the top of the mountain, Orion sees a group of the most wonderful people and the most fearsome beasts- all sharing his birthmark, and all there for the same reason- to take down Emperor Macbeth!
It’s up to Orion, a teeny-tiny fairy, a living car, some enchanted cowboy doll, a puppet given life, TWO different kinds of cookie creature, a bipedal hedgehog, a gentle beast of reanimated flesh, a mad scientist, a demon slayer, a flying monkey, and a very beautiful divine lady with her handsome swordsman in tow.
But Orion’s certain- HE will be the one to take down the Evil Tyrant King! That is, if he can prevent Artemis and his growing paranoia from betraying his newfound friends. And if he can manage to avoid the interspecies manhunt he and Artemis caused by eloping from the hospital and committing grand theft shuttle.
Not to mention Butler’s looking for them, too.
#Orion fowl#artemis fowl#domovoi butler#macbeth#something silly this way passes#artemis fowl fanfiction#orion is bi in this one and has a crush on both annabeth and percy#atlantis complex
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little alexmis oneshot i decided to do bc why not
#alexmis#artemis fowl#artemis fowl x alex rider#alex rider x artemis fowl#fanfic#fanfic author#oneshot#artemis fowl fanfiction#artemis fowl fanfic#alex rider fanfiction#alex rider fanfic#alexmis fanfic
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2/3 is out! Here is a lil excerpt:
A few more minutes of silence linger on. Dripping wax extinguishes the flame and black smoke rises into the stagnant air. Minerva reaches into her backpack for a lighter and takes a moment to reignite the wick, its burning heat a comfort to her soul. As she sets back on her bookbag, she takes one last glance at the femurs, and turns to continue on her merry way.
Only, when she turns, she's met face to face with a random man.
"Putain! (Fuck!)" Minerva shrieks and jumps out of her skin, her hand flies to her heart. "Oh my god. Oh. Putain," she chuckles and calms herself with deep breaths. "You really scared me!"
But when she looks at the man sitting at the pew again, she realizes that he's a complete stranger, and not anyone she recognizes.
His skin is white as powder, his hiker's clothes are tattered, and empty, blank eyes stare at the wall behind her.
He doesn't blink. He doesn't speak. He doesn't even glance her way.
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Excerpt
All of this eventually lead to the present, where Artemis was struggling to hide his wheezing breath from Butler so the bodyguard wouldn’t hear that his principal was slowly dying from walking uphill. He swore to himself that once they got back home he’d actually start working out in the gym like he kept telling Butler he was doing. Right after he had finished the super laser he was building.
As he finally reached the top of the slope, he spotted what it was they had come there for. In a small clearing stood several stone pillars and walls surrounding… something.
Reinvigorated at the prospect of a mystery to solve, Artemis picked up the pace and soon found what was at the center of the ruins. A round, sky-blue crystal platform. This was what he was here to investigate.
Synopsis
Artemis is investigating an alien artifact giving off weird dimensional energies ("bad vibes," as Qwan and No. 1 put it) when a magic boy shows up to complicate things.
Steven is looking for a corrupted gem when he runs into a pale boy and a large man doing some science stuff on a warp pad.
How does the fairy world of Artemis Fowl and the alien adventures of Steven Universe clash? Read and see!
Fandoms: Artemis Fowl, Steven Universe
Rating: Teen and up
Words: 5 300
Warnings: Blood mention (not a lot, but it's there), References to Swedish media you haven't heard of
Relationships: Artemis Fowl II & Steven Universe
Characters: Steven Universe, Artemis Fowl II, Domovoi Butler, Angeline Fowl, Artemis Fowl Senior, Holly Short, Foaly
Additional Tags: Crossover, Post-The Atlantis Complex, Post-Steven Universe Future
Author's Notes
I decided to go back to update and make some edits to this one. One thing led to another and I basically rewrote the entire thing. Most of the story's the same, but I expanded on some things, fleshed out some details, and fixed a bunch of awkward sentences.
I also changed the title because I realized I didn't like "Artemis Fowl: The Magic Boy" anymore. That ampersand makes all the difference, lemme tell you.
You'll also notice that Vinyáya is alive in this, even though she died in The Atlantis Complex. This is because when I first wrote this story, I forgot that she died in that book. Whoops.
And for the followers of my liveblog: Yes, there are references to The Owl House in this.
#artemis fowl#steven universe#steven universe future#artemis fowl fanfiction#steven universe fanfiction#fanfiction#artemis fowl ii#domovoi butler#lampman writes fanifcs
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If anyone was curious about my writing process...
I keep notes that I use for when I'm either too drunk or tired to remember an idea
#fanfic meme#fanfic#archive of our own#memes#writing memes#writers#writers on tumblr#online writing#writing#ao3 writer#writeblr#editing#fanfiction#af#artemis fowl#fowldom#ao3 fanfic#unhinged#shitpost#drunk#haha#lol#ao3#ao3 memes#meme#funny memes#relatable#my post#fandom#shenanigans
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Summary: Two months after his father disappeared into the Arctic and one week after the damnable lemur incident, Artemis Angeline Fowl II cut his hair, burned his dresses, and began studying fairy tales.
To get what you want, you have to give everything else up first. And Artemis Fowl has always been willing to sacrifice it all to get what he wants.
Author: @yellowocaballero
Note from submitter: @nymm-of-night
#official fic poll#haveyoureadthisfic#pollblr#fanfiction#tumblr polls#fandom poll#fanfic#fandom culture#internet culture#The Great Gender Heist#artemis fowl#eoin colfer#no romantic relationships
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nothing to read :(
can anyone send me a fanfic :(
#ao3#archive of our own#fanfiction#podcasts#sonic the hedgehog#lego monkie kid#artemis fowl#undertale#the magnus archives#the penumbra podcast#rottmnt#malevolent
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As Wife and I are reading Artemis Fowl together, I've been writing short stories for the lovely Holly/Trouble pairing you can find there. We just finished The Time Paradox, so here is my chapter for that book.
Tagging @thefinaljediknight because you admitted to having been brought around on this ship, and @makowrites because I'm committed to bringing you down with me on this one like you have done to me with Mal/Serin.
#artemis fowl#af fandom#holly short#trouble kelp#holly short x trouble kelp#my writing#artemis fowl fanfiction
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Quiero compartirles esta maravillosa historia llamada Orion que es un fanfic crossover de los Super Sons y Artemis Fowl para la cual estoy haciendo algo de arte ✨✨✨Espero puedan darle una oportunidad, les aseguro que les encantará...💖
Primer capitulo 👉 ORION 1
Aquí una probadita y el arte del primer capitulo✨💖✨💖
"...Jon sintió que perdía el equilibrio y sus fuerzas le abandonaban, se le doblaron las rodillas y cayó al suelo de espaldas. El anillo en su dedo, un aro sencillo de color verde, brillaba con un ligero fulgor.
Los ojos del niño se abrieron hasta el límite, aterrado y sintiendo que iba a desmayarse..."
"...Damian cayó de pie justo a su lado, mirándolo desde arriba con una expresión de furia gélida en sus ojos de color verde muy intenso. Artemis se estremeció de pies a cabeza ante aquella visión y una sensación de frío helado le invadió el estómago. Su corazón empezó a latir con fuerza y rapidez y notó un par de gotas de sudor frío en la frente.
Supo que estaba a punto de morir...."
"...Artemis respiró hondo una última vez y sacó a Damian Wayne de su mente. Por ahora. Adoptó de nuevo su expresión seria y estoica y le indicó con un gesto a su guardaespaldas que continuara..."
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Artemis; Some days I’m just not sure that life is worth all the stress. In my short life so far, what I have achieved? Too much, that’s what. I took over the family business, restored our fortune, exploited the fairy race, saved the fairy race, de-criminalized the family business, stole ice cream from the fairy race, saved my father, my mother, my turtle, shook up the art world, gave CPR to a dying horse in a thunderstorm, knocked out five best selling romance novels under the pseudonym Florence Periwinkle Battenburg, stole magic, gave up magic, time travelled here, there and everywhere, had my first manic episode, and then my second and seventh, recovered, died, survived, became a big brother, learnt how to drive heavy goods vehicles, and finished a masters degree in chocolate architecture....And I’m only fifteen.
No.1: Maybe it’s time you took a nap?
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I’m curious about stuff again specifically for people who like to read.
I put both girls and boys just to see if there’s a difference. And if you are trans or genderqueer please do think as to what gender you considered yourself at the age you started reading and not your current chosen gender.
#reading#pride month#transgender#trans pride#genderqueer#lgbt#books and reading#fantasy books#warrior cats#percy jackson#harry potter#magic tree house#wings of fire#writing#fanfiction#a series of unfortunate events#fablehaven#diary of a wimpy kid#narnia#animorphs#six of crows#eragon#the hunger games#throne of glass#the golden compass#artemis fowl#redwall#tolkien#goosebumps#rangers apprentice
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i wanna go back and reread the first fic i ever read, for the nostalgia, yknow?
but i also know that the fic was very, very bad. i don't want to have to take off the rose coloured glasses
#but i wanna read it#life's mundanity#artemis fowl#fowldom#hartemis#<- tags for organizational purposes#that was the fandom it was for#on good ol' ffn.net#fanfiction#fanfic#fanfiction.net
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Artemis is dragged along to Tara Music Fest, but can he figure out just why they've brought him there? Guess you’ll have to read to find out! 🎵🎸🎻✨️
#artemis fowl#i totally forgot to post this yesterday#like hmm what am i missing? OH YEAH#fowldom#artemis fowl fanfiction#ao3#for you fanfic#this chapter is A LOT#fair warning lol
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