#fuck b99 is the best show ever

[sweetlikehoneystingslikeabee]

Idk if it's just me but I LOVE the idea of the riddlers with a pet dog(most likely a small breed)that is there best friend and major weakness (I like to think there dynamics would be similar to Holt and cheddar from Brooklyn 99)but what do you think? How would the riddlers be with a pet dog?

"Riddlers with Dogs" Riddler Party Ask

Okay so I only ever saw like one or two episodes of B99 so I had to look up a Cheddar compilation. But I was chanting "dog" over and over again for this ask. Very excited. How they are with a pet dog plus the breed/mix.

Tw: animal abuse/neglect

Gotham

English bulldog mix. He gained a fondness for them after meeting Edward (Oswalds dog) a while back. Once he's further along in his career and he knows he can manage the care given his sometimes erratic schedule, he goes to Gotham animal shelter and finds a stunning lad to take home. And, in honor of his sometimes companion (sometimes lover), he names the dog Oswald.

Oswald hates this. He rolls his eyes once he finds out.

Oswald (the dog) gets a stunning green leather collar with a golden question mark tag along with his actual name and rabies tags. The inside is very soft for Edward's special little boy.

This dog is so fucking spoiled. Edward cooks it special meals to reduce gas problems associated with the breed and keep his weight in control. There's fancy fresh food in the fridge for when he doesn't have the time to cook and meal prep. Special wipes for his skin folds. Oatmeal and milk baths for Oswald's skin.

He gets the dog a special fucking pillow when he hears Oswald (the dog) snoring when he sleeps. His vaccine and medical records are meticulously kept. Yes he sleeps in the bed with Edward, usually curled into the small of Edward's back once he turns on his side. His need for a particular schedule is so nice with a dog because despite how lazy Oswald (the dog) is, he follows Edward religiously.

60s

Older corgi mix. Goofy looking, huge fluffy butt, and has ripped Batman's cape before. Straight up dug his teeth in and acted as though he was at least twice his size. This clever and handsome chap comes to be known as Pascal. He just sort of showed up one day in the middle of Riddler's heist.

Pascal is a speedy little old man, sometimes being used as a very short legged scout for Edward's schemes. Sometimes Edward wonders where his fluffy companion came from with his specks of grey fur and wizened eyes. One time on a very peculiar little adventure outside of Gotham in a rural part of the U.S., Pascal leaves the safe comforts of their vehicle to herd sheep out of the road. Then he hops back up and looks to Edward as if to say "I fixed it for you."

He's likely to have the most reminiscent relationship to the B99 dynamic where, if another villain tried to use Pascal as a bargaining tool, Edward would inevitably turn to Batman to save his little buddy! He can't just risk Pascal getting hurt! and he needs his arthritis medication soon or his joints will ache- His JOINTS, Batman!

As sad as it is to think of a beloved pet passing on, Pascal gets to live his last years loved and pampered. Warm. No pain and definitely never bored. There's a lot of wild adventures this old man gets to have. When he goes of old age, most of the rogues gallery and even Batman and Robin themselves attend the service.

Zero Year

Oh. He got a doberman. Intelligent. Sleek. Intimidating looking. He even named her Minerva. He was expecting a guard dog that stood wise as an extension of himself.

What he actually got: Neurotic. Separation anxiety. Practically jumps into his arms when it rains because she can't stand getting her feetsies wet. He does realize the irony of this given he'd flooded the city at one point. He opts to buy her little rain booties.

He chose not to have her docked or clipped- In truth, he was planning on the appointment when she was a puppy but last minute changed his mind because he thought of her cute floppy ears and curled tail being gone. If you ask, he'll say it's because he realized it was illogical since she's not a show dog and it has no known health benefits. It's bullshit.

She has emeralds in her collar. Highly trained in the sense that she never makes a mess in the house and drops anything she's not supposed to chew on. That and, despite her real nature, she can put on a show with her teeth on command to scare any idiots off.

What they don't see is her wagging, thumping tail when he info-dumps to her. Or practices lines. One of the few creatures on the Earth that truly doesn't care what a narcissist he is. His beautiful Minerva.

BTAS

Some kind of chihuahua-terrier mix. She shivers a lot. Edward takes the dog in from the shelter shortly after one of his stints in Arkham. Trying on taking a new leaf. Again. Maybe an animal dependent on him will keep him on his toes. She has a partly white fur pattern that reminds him of a lab coat. He names her Curie.

Given her namesake, Edward has taught her several commands in French if for no other reason then he thinks it's cute. There's something about saying, "Curie, allons y-" And hearing the pitter patter of her claws on the tile and wood floors.

He is that guy who buys his dogs clothes. In fairness, it's because she actually gets cold in the Gotham winters. Logically, that means she needs cute sweaters and coats! And little shoes for when it snows. Honestly, she's going to be absolutely darling and the envy of all the neighbors.

He loves cuddling in his lap when he's working on stuff. It's funny, she's almost like a house cat when she does that.

Will commit unspeakable acts if someone tried to cause harm to Curie.

Arkham

You ever see one of those snaggle-tooth little dogs missing a damn eye and you have no idea how old it is? The scruffiest little mutt you've ever seen. Breed is indistinguishable but it's on the smaller end. Wiry coat, looks like something just pulled from the dryer.

This little creature stumbles upon him shaking and soaking wet from a storm during the events of Arkham City. He almost feels pity for it, barely able to see due to the matting over it's face. He wonders briefly if it was a runaway or a dump. He pulls a small bit of jerky he still has in his pocket from earlier and gives it to the pup.

What he doesn't expect is for it to follow him. Even as he tries to shoo it away. No more food, you mangy mutt! Yet it continues to follow. Edward shuts the door to his hideout on it. He can see it on cameras waiting out there for him to come back.

With a frustrated sigh, he eventually opens the door and allows the creature in. Gives it a choppy but functional haircut to get rid of any matting. Feeds it whatever food he can find that won't make the dog sick. Eventually he finds out the dog is a male, maybe a year old.

He dubs the puppy Asimov after writer and biochemistry professor Isaac Asimov. He acts as though he doesn't care for the dog much, but every once in a while he praises Asimov for the little tricks he's learned and the cleverness he exhibits. He'd probably stomp someone to the ground if they tried to take this dog from him.

Telltale

Basset Hound. He got ownership of this dog by complete accident. Basically he was on his revenge mission, taking down someone involved in keeping him trapped by SANCTUS- He didn't realize the person had a dog. So now he was in a room with a corpse who failed his riddle and there was a very curious dog that wanted to bark and howl the moment he left the room.

So he took the dog. For everything that Eddie stands for, this dog is the opposite. He's dopey, noisy, and messy. A bumbling creature that lays down to roll over when Eddie asks it to sit. And yet... The moment he can't find something, the dog manages to show up less than two minutes later with it on the ground in front of him, nudging it with his nose.

The dog is named Columbo. Yes, after the tv show detective. He thinks it's funny given the dogs propensity for finding "evidence" where no one else can. Plus, Columbo on the show had a basset hound. It fits. No, Eddie is not a nerd, how dare you.

The dog has a special dog bed on the floor at the foot of Riddler's bed. He's very strict on places the dog can be and where it can sit and lay. He's a strong believer that dogs shouldn't just hang out on furniture. This is struck out when there are thunderstorms because Columbo will howl and cry until he's allowed to bury into the bed under the covers with his dad.

For every complaint he might have about the dog, Eddie absolutely shows him off and brags. They start to resemble each other in their wrinkles.

2022/Nashton

Pitbull mix. She was chained up, cropped ears and way too thin. He'd found her while doing recon on some low level mook for one of Gotham's drug lords. He looked into those big sad eyes, and he managed to sneak her home. He names her Ada Lovelace or just Ada after the first computer programmer.

It was actually difficult at first because she was fear aggressive and very shy. Lots of snapping at him and trying to hide. He understood that feeling. With a lot of patience and him teaching her that he's not a threat, this pittie would become a wiggly lovebug that tackles him at night once he comes home from riddler nonsense. Full slobber on his glasses.

Ada helps with his depression because unlike the rats (unfortunately) she can cuddle with him at night and ooze devotion and love at her master. There's something so healing about the unwavering loyalty and warmth a dog can offer. Plus he can tell her anything and she still just rolls on top of him wanting belly rubs.

He would kill someone for this dog. If anyone hurt her, he would probably torture them on stream and make it A Thing that they were a dog abuser before rocking their shit. Then full body hugs his baby while she wiggles in his arms.

#gotham riddler #btas riddler #60s riddler #zero year riddler #2022 riddler #telltale riddler #arkham riddler #riddler #foxwriting

[lovecolibri]

As someone who ships Buddie like forever but has also observed mostly for 5 years, in regards to FF and even on here, here's what I noticed.

When it came to Anna no one could initially get over her abilism in regards to Christopher and you know what fair because that was hard for me too. I honestly don't think Eddie would have gotten over it either even if she was "so pretty". So initial bias is hard to overcome and I think it translated into FF even to this day. TBH the show and Ryan's acting choices also didn't help endear her or make her more then one dimensional. I mean he'll they had Carla call out Eddie's heart to him before he was even shot. So for me what little was she observing to be like dude your not into her. But also she knows a certain someone very well and sees that certain someone with Eddie all the time you know.

When it comes to Taylor I think initial bias still comes in. I think most people observed her as the petty bitchy best gal pal every gay guy needs. But then they had to put them in a relationship and really ruin her because yes she was toxic to Buck. Of course he wasn't innocent, he self destructed after his boyfriend dumped him, kissed a coworker, invited her to move in. Yes not a good look!! However she was more calculated you know.

Anyways let's just hope everyone treats these actresses nice please!!

I was talking more about seeing posts and stuff here and Twitter, because those comments are still floating around.

Nut yes in regards to fic, Ana in particular was SUCH a blank slate and the little we DID see was her ableism and that breakup with her touching Eddie who is very much in a "this is crossing boundaries, don't touch me" stance so it's easy for fic writers to dial up the drama and make a big, fun, telenovela storyline with her being off the rails, or a more grounded story with her faults dialed up just a bit for the *drama*.

For Tay Kay though it never made sense to me because we DID see exactly who she is on multiple occasions and none of that ever made sense as something Buck would want to pursue after 2x06 (even 2x08 with him complaining to BOBBY of all people?! about how interesting she was has ALWAYS rubbed me the wrong way but I think it's because they didn't quite anticipate how strongly the audience would react to her actions against Bobby so they put in the ending in 2x08 with Ali instead). "petty bitchy best gal pal every gay guy needs" but DOES anyone need that? I've SEEN petty, bitchy best gal pals! Look at Rosa from B99! She was not afraid to call Jake out, but she was never genuinely MEAN about it or specifically tried to hurt him when she called him out as a way to prop herself up. I will NEVER understand fics acting like that woman has ever given a flying fuck about a single person other than herself in order to make her Buck's bestie when the show HAS all these amazing, strong female AND male characters that Buck ALREADY knows, and ALREADY seeks advice from, and who aren't afraid to call him out, but gently and with love and in a way that respects that he struggles with RSD and how that affects how he perceives what people are saying. It's not always done perfectly by his friends and family but it IS always done with love.

As for any of the cast in ANY capacity, there is no need to be rude to any of them, ever? I do NOT like MW, or GW, or AK for personal reasons. And as such, I wipe their existence from my mind, and don't look at what they are doing or saying because I simply do not care. DO NOT bring your drama about a show's choices to the people being paid to act out what they are told to. (You absolutely can and should call out things like, oh IDK, constantly going out for Latina characters while not being Latina, or making/liking homophobic comments etc but those are their personal choices not about the things their characters are doing)

#my sweet nonnie friends #911 #anti ana flores #anti eddieana #anti taylor kelly #anti bucktaylor #for blacklisting purposes #clearing out my inbox #don't judge me some of these are going to be so old...

[youngpettyqueen]

I need to know how badly your dad sold mash to you that it took you almost an entire decade to agree to watch it

ok so to be fair to my dad it wasn't actually bad and would've worked on most other people but it was a very bad way to sell it to me specifically

my dad told me two things about MASH when he started trying to convince me to watch it. one was that it was a war sitcom. second was that it was the greatest show ever made. he started doing this, unfortunately, when our tastes in media started greatly differing. up until my mid-teens my dad and I had very very similar tastes in media, and agreed on like. everything. and we still have very similar tastes! but we tend to disagree on extremes. example of this is my dad adores the MCU and I would gladly see it burnt to the ground

I also didnt like sitcoms. at this point I had tried to watch Friends, another show that came highly recommended from him (and my mom, she's a huge Friends fan) and I really just did not get the hype. the sitcom formula wasn't doing it for me- even when I was into Brooklyn 99 for a while, I found the sitcom formula to be a drawback. I also caught a bunch of episodes of The Office while my mom watched it, and I couldnt fucking stand it. so I was seeing all these big popular sitcoms that literally everybody was hyping up, I was not impressed by them, and here was my dad trying to sell me on a sitcom. from the 70s. about a war. absolutely none of that sounded appealing to me

hindsight being 20/20, my issue is less with the sitcom formula and much more with the quality of the characters. Friends, in my opinion, does not have strong characters. neither does The Office from what I remember, though I'll add that I havent seen the entire series (I have since seen all of Friends, which was not my choice, but I have seen it) and so cannot make a fair judgement of it. B99 had some stronger characters, but I dropped the show all the same for several other reasons. so, basically, it took so long for me to agree to watch MASH because I was a sitcom hater, and my tastes were starting to differ from my dads, and I felt like he was way overhyping the show because the premise he was giving me wasn't at all interesting to me

now, in case anybody's curious, he did change his tune with it a bit last year, hence why I agreed to watch it. not to be dramatic but 2022 was probably the worst year of my life. my entire life blew up and I was in some of the worst depression I'd ever been in, I spent pretty much the entire year miserable and lost and sick. throughout this time, we had this channel that played reruns of Three's Company, a show I had not seen but one he had hyped a lot, and it was something that would make me laugh without fail. my dad realized he had an opportunity, so, come October, he finally decided to try convincing me again. except this time, instead of insisting it was the best show ever made, all he said was "c'mon, it'll make you laugh again"

and it did

#mash #again its not a bad way to sell the show it just wasn't the way to sell it to me #I probably would've continued resisting it if my life hadn't literally been in pieces tbh #I was fucking desperate for something to bring me joy and I think he was just as desperate kdfhskjdfhskd #but yes thats why it took almost 10 years for me to finally agree to watch MASH

[stedes-incredible-library]

Hi! I was hoping for some fics that feature the crew as family?

Of course! There is in fact a tag Crew as Family

Some recs:

It's Little, and Broken (But Still Good) by Bedalk05 [T]

“The fuck happened to your face?” Jim grunts, nodding towards Ed.

“And your clothes?” Wee John adds with an arched brow at Stede.

“Yes yes there is much to catch you all up on but-”

“Yeah there is,” Ed drawls, throwing an arm around Stede and winking.

“Oh my god. It’s finally happened,” Lucius breathes out.

“I called it! Pay up you fuckers!” Roach crows.

Ed and Stede are together and content. Time to return to their family.

we've only just begun by ShowMeAHero [E]

“Happy anniversary,” Ed tells him. He’s got a smile, but he still seems nervous, and Stede absolutely cannot have that.

He surges up into him, tugging him down into a ferocious kiss, unable to stop himself from automatically parting his lips and licking into him. Ed grins, his smile going from anxious to delighted; his hands grip Stede’s hips, draw him in. He’s eager in return, meets his kiss with enthusiasm, gives as good as he gets in tilting his head and meeting him beat for beat.

They part, Stede peeling himself away so he can ask, desperately, “What— How long— S— What?”

“We met two years ago today,” Ed tells him.

“If you’d call that meeting,” Oluwande comments.

“What else would you call it, then?” the Swede asks.

“A living nightmare,” Izzy grumbles.

“A naval attack,” Ivan answers, at the same time Roach replies, “A meet-cute.”

“Disgusting?” Jim suggests.

“Best day of my life,” Ed adds on top of it all, “Or one of ‘em, anyway.”

I Don't Know About You Guys (but we're the weirdest herd I've ever seen) by Bedalk05 [T]

Blackbeard once made Fang put down his dog and he's never quite gotten over it. Now he's found a new pet. Will Ed react the same?

“WIIIIIITTTCCHHHH!” Frenchie shrieks, pointing at the kitten stumbling towards him on unsteady feet. “Oh fuck THERE’S A WITCH ON BOARD!” He runs towards Wee John who thankfully throws down the sword he was sharpening as Frenchie jumps into his arms. “Someone kill it before it kills us all!!”

Our Flag Means Family by WaitingToBeBroken [T]

Making Stede forgive him was easy. But then again everything was easy with Stede.

Gaining the crew's trust, that, that was the tricky part. Until they approached him.

Or, Edward is still the crew's dad, even after what happened. This is the story of how each of them shows it.

Cheers, dad by Wr4tttttthh [G]

Frenchie accidently calls Stede dad. Not much changes, since he kind of is everyone's dad

yes this is slightly based off that one b99 episode

Sorry it took me so long to get to this one!

~Mod N

#ofmd #our flag means death #blackbonnet #blackstede #gentlebeard #fic rec #our flag means death fanfic #found family #crew as family

[thatfraudcassandra]

Over the news of And A Movie, i found myself waxing nostalgic and even contemplating rewatching Community, but there is nothing like revisiting an old Twitter hate thread I made that doused me sober. (I bite Annie's head off a little in a case of internalized misogyny but hopefully it's clear that Dan Harmon is the real evil)

My 2020 hate speech:

WHY I HATE COMMUNITY: A THREAD

In the last month, I started bingeing Community and loved it. It was fresh. Meta. Made recently and so hopefully it was progressive as FRIENDS was 2020-offensive. Also I had already finished B99 and The Good Place and it was the next best thing.

In episode 1 they established Britta as the cool girl: she wouldn't date the hot guy because she's not shallow and let's face it, Jeff doesnt get the redemption arc that Jake did in B99. He didn't get over his assholeness like Jake did. Season 6 ended and Jeff was still shit.

Anyway, Britta is my favorite character. Season 1 saw her protesting causes, being a hypocrite over most of it, but totally relatable because who isn't a hypocrite right? At least she CARES. She empathizes with people. She later shifts to psychology wanting to help people. She often psychoanalyzes her friends which they hate, but she is often dead-on. Jeff and Pierce's dad issue? She called it. Abed's inability to move on after Troy left? She helped him with it. Troy's paralysis over breaking up with her? She helped him come to terms with it.

And yet, over the seasons she has been written as the "worst" character, often regarded as a meme rather than a real person. She's the only one who doesnt get to redeem herself over the seasons. (Jeff didnt redeem himself in my eyes but most would think he didnt need saving). Even Pierce redeemed himself by dying of dehydration after giving his seed away--can be construed as a selfless act. Britta never stands up from it. She is constantly put down by the group, with Annie constantly kneeling down her neck. They make jokes about her, uses her name as a synonym for "wreck" or "make worse". She exists mainly as two things: an antagonist in the Jeff-Annie relationship and a subject for every anti-woke sketch Dan Harmon wants to incorporate in the script.

Britta helped people. Britta cared. She did not compete with others, not even Annie even though Annie never stopped being insecure about Britta. She was best friends with Shirley. And yes, she made stupid decisions--Subway Rick and Honda Rick, Jeff, and Vaughn. But she genuinely cared. Unlike the rest of the group who were manipulative and found ways for the rest to cater to their whims, Britta usually didnt force anyone to do anything for her. Yes, she was vocal about her causes, but they always shot her down and except for the Guatemala bit in S1 I don't remember they ever supported her. Meanwhile, they went through claymation in Abed's breakdown, that whole s4 ending where Jeff had his own, Shirley even got her to man her shop, and Annie, well, I could think of a lot of times where she coerced the group into something. Such a poorly written character with so much potential.

And then Annie. She starts out grating my nerves. She's childish, manipulative, she literally stomps her feet and cries out like a toddler when something doesnt go her way. Dressing her up in slacks didnt make her mature. Over the seasons I went from being slightly annoyed to hating her but by the middle of season6, I just pity this character. Clearly, Dan Harmon fucked her up the way he did Britta. The writers probably didn't know how to write a multidimensional woman. Britta was reduced to a stupid, impressionable woke millennial, and Annie was just the slutty child. She was so oversexualized it didn't matter to me that Jeff stayed away--he clearly wanted to get into Annie's panties anyway. And she liked being viewed as a sex object. In the episode where they film a sci-fi movie for Chang, she shows up in a tight one piece that shows her breasts and Jeff clearly gets mesmerized. Britta calls her out "thats what you chose?" And then when Annie reaches INSIDE HER CLEAVAGE for an improvised laser bomb that Abed didnt write, Britta says "youre making it more difficult for every woman out there". Because it's true. Her loving being reduced to a sex object means it's okay for everyone else to be oversexualized. Annie retorts that she's just improvising, to which Britta says "IMPROVISE POCKETS!" She never made more sense than that moment.

I also hate how self-serving Annie is; remember the bottle episode? How about the one where Chang is cast as Mr. Miyagi? Or the party in the apartment episode. Or the one where they tie Prof Cornwallis up. Or the attack ad episode. Ugh. I hate her so much, but she is still the most well-loved character because SHE HAS BOOBS and she's hot. Innocent and sexy. The fact that so many people like her means there are so many misogynists, so many Dan Harmons in the world. And Britta? No one likes her. She says uncomfortable things. She doesnt dress like she's gonna blurt out "spank me daddy" any second now.

These are two women victimized by a series creator who probably didnt have much luck with women. Dan Harmon consistently shat on his women characters because he didnt understand them outside of his own relationships. Here is a guy who got married probably as a publicity stunt. He divorced her a year later and is now involved with a woman 12 years her junior. 12 years. Now you know why he kept pushing that creepy Jeff-Annie angle. And he's racist and ageist, you already knew that. Chevy Chase left famously because of it. And while Yvette Nicole and Donald didn't say it was the reason, throughout the season Dan poked fun at their race "did you ever 9/11 anyone?", Pierce once asked Abed. It's cringey. The whole thing is.

#community #six seasons and a movie #and a movie #darkest timeline #britta perry #dan harmon #dan harmon hate speech #opinion #shows I've seen

[wolfypuppypiles]

Fuck that latest b99 episode made me cry like a bitch. Everything that her parents said to her when she came out, are things I heard when coming out as bisexual too. My own brother, who is gay, told me that I should just stick to guys and that being bi wasn’t real I was only doing it for attention. So being bi in the lgbt community isn’t always easier than being bi around straight people. I still have to listen to my dad say awful homophobic things all the time, but the part of the episode where jake makes sure Rosa still gets her game nights with her real family, the 99, was amazing and heartfelt, and is the truest shit ever. They just handled the whole thing amazingly well and everything about the episode was perfect and I’m so so happy that Stephane Beatriz can be who she is in real like and on screen 🌈💜

#fuck b99 is the best show ever #people need to stop sleeping on it #Brooklyn nine nine #stephane beatriz #bisexual #lgbt

[bisexualsloths]

Hulu, Netflix, or any TV network, PLEASE PICK UP BROOKLYN 99!!!

This show is amazing and fox is stupid for cancelling such beauty please will someone reclaim it so we can get more seasons?!

This show allows representation and love and support and humor for groups of people that don’t get it elsewhere and fox is stupid for not acknowledging what a perfect and beautiful show that B99 is

And also, Fox can piss off for canceling such an amazing show with such a loyal fan base

#b99 #brooklyn nine nine #fuck fox #best show ever #whoever decided this is my worst enemy

[t4tails]

ive gone on before about how sega hates women in a very specific way. I feel like a lot of unused characters people keep asking for back is women, and sega refuses to deliver. the most they get is into sonic speed battle if even that.

ive noticed a pattern in these women, think about sally, sticks, shade, tikal, cream, marine, etc. (all of which they have full rights too. sega has rights to shade. at least from what I've seen and heard) (also im counting cream bc she hasn't been in a game in 10 years, despite being part of the main character line in X when shadow wasn't)

The female characters i consider used are Amy and Rouge, lesser so Blaze and Zeena

The first visual thing I noticed that's different is that none of these characters are pink or purple. The characters used have this, even if Zeena is primarily green she still had to have pink on her.

Next is the unused characters don't dress the most stereotypically feminine, cream and tikal are the most.

But the thing i noticed most about the unuseds is that most don't act stereotypically feminine.

Since she's my blorbo ill use marine as an example. She's oranges and greens. Her character starts as just an annoying little girl until you learn more about her and understand her more. She wants to be a captain, is hot-headed and easily distracted, but surprisingly clever in the heat of the moment. She's introduced as Blaze's Tails and hasn't been used in 15 years. None of her aspects are stereotypically feminine, if she was a boy, her personality wouldn't change.

The only thing feminine about Sally is the fact she's a princess (and you cant have bunnie without sally so even tho she'd fit in what they have she's also been kicked). Sticks is so feral I don't think she knows what gender is and Dark Brotherhood doesn't even make a big deal that the fact that their leading warrior is a woman, they were focused much more on the fact that she's an echidna.

Tikal and Cream are the most used of the unused, and I always saw this as that they are the most feminine. Tikal is the helpful dead girl princess who belives in peace and love. Cream is a little sister character, who is nice to everyone has tea parties and makes flower crowns.

The used ones, are girlish however. Amy is clingy and hot-headed and previously seen as possessive, she's been seen enjoying many feminine activities. Rouge, although not sexualized by the camera, is obsessed with jewels and shiny things as well as speaking in a stereotypically feminine femme-fatale fastion. i didnt mean for that f thing. Blaze is the least femanine of the four however has the more modern steryotype of the closed off badass who is more open and sweet and kind when gotten close too, maybe even a love intrest which was hinted at in the beginning, also her deisgn makes up for that lack where she is very femanine. Zeena is the girl one of her group. she worries about her nails and looks and shit, the most femanine of the four.

Having a femanine character isn't bad. i fucking love rouge and blaze, it's just on it's own, give me a minute.

I'm going to go into the difference between Sonic Lost World's women and Sonic Boom (show)'s Women.

Sonic Lost world TECHNICALLY has multiple women However Amy is in like... 2 cutscenes. The most prominent one is Zeena, who is the only woman in the deadly six. This could have been fine if done right but it wasn't. Part of me wondered why she was so much better in the IDW comics, and part of it is writing and not being the butt of a joke for being a girltm, but also, she's with other women. She's pitted against Cream, one of the more used unused, and it's fucking excellent, their scene together is the best deadly six scene ever.

This is what my sister calls "the b99 effect" Rosa doesn't represent all hispanic women if you have another hispainic woman who acts completely differently. captain holt doesn't represent all black men if you have another black man who acts completely differently. Gina doesn't represent all women if there are a whole crew of other women, you get the picture.

This effect was very well used in Sonic Boom. Amy, is a stereotypical girl character and we know this. However, Sticks is not at all. They have a whole episode about this when it's just the two of them it's great. Sticks acts like the rest of the boys, reckless and messy. It's a perfect dynamic because when Amy acts the way she does it's clear she acts like that because she's Amy, not because she's a woman. Amy has multiple moments where she's separated from the rest and it's because she's being Amy. When Sticks is separated it's because she's paranoid, not because she's a girl. Even the boys have their separation moments. Because of writing and this effect, Boom Amy is probably my favorite Amy I've seen outside of IDW.

If Zeena had been less stereotypical it might have been better, but being the only girl on the deadly six automatically made her "the girl one." if there was another girl or they just made another one of them a woman and not changed anything Zeena would have been infinitely better, which is why she was amazing in the scene with cream.

Sega, in their love for only using feminine girls, never sees this. Despite the fandom being in love with Tangle and Whisper who have no pink or purple and don't have feminine personalities, unless you count Tangle looking stereotypically lesbian (she has the same hair as my lesbian sister legit) They keep asking for Sally, they keep asking for Sticks (especially since she was in an olympic games game and has been the only non-mainline character in sonic channel art) they keep asking for cream to be in the GODDAMN GAMES and they don't

only reason i can think of? sega hates women.

this ask was way too long but enjoy.

holy shit i dont have much to add this it is all so so true. the only thing i really disagree with is re boom amy because i have problems with her personality in that show being made into the Most Responsible one when i already have a dislike for sitcoms using girls as straight men (not common nowadays but old shit like mash, and early seinfeld and iasip) but thats just a personal gripe on where id prefer her character to go; she is written the most consistently in years in it and youre right she plays GREAT off sticks. this is all really interesting like i didnt make the femininity and pink/purple connections myself so its very eye opening. loved reading this

#og post #ask #birdsareblooming #i think there is something re sega not being confident their girls actually have fans #so they stick to safe territory with pre established love interest #femme fatale #and blazes hot/cool personality combo #and whatever the fuck is happening with zeena honestly i could care less about her. its femme fatale 2 but worse #long post

[imaginesbymonika]

Mischief and Bagels |Prologue

A humor B99 x Marvel Crossover.

Plot: Loki fleed Asgard and he is now roaming the earth. Only the mightiest heroes on earth could stop him- with the help of the world's mightiest detective (in his opinion), who knows the streets of Brooklyn like the back of his hand.

Characters: Y/N x various marvel characters, Y/N x The Squad of the 99, might some Y/N x Matt Murdock and Y/N x Jake Peralta who does his best at flirting.

masterlist

A/N: no one’s dead, infinity war and end game didn’t happen, everyone’s fine <3

Song to listen to while reading:

"Are you sure, I'm at the right place?", a young y/h/ed woman asks, as she swivels around on the sidewalk. She eyes the detectives and police officers that make their way past her in confusion.

"Yeah, Y/N, for the millionths time, you are.", Tony Stark, who is on the other side of the line responds: "I can see you through the security cameras, by the way." Y/N perks up in search of the lens. "Now, please- turn around." A soft sigh leaves her lips before she does as she's told.

"That's the NYPD building.", the y/h/c woman reports.

"Yeah, I know.", Tony's voice is fatigued, and judging by the way it gets cut off every few seconds he is slapping himself with the phone. "Are you sure, I'm-".

She can pretty much sense, how Tony runs a hand down his face:" At the right place? For fucks sake- Yes! Now would you please go inside to the third floor, and ask for Captain Holt. He will explain everything to you. Steve will likely show up in an hour or two."

Jake Peralta, who is sitting at his desk absently stares into the small snowglobe he's holding in his hands. For the past couple of hours (days if he was being honest) he has done nothing but that... shaking the ornament and eyeing how the tiny snowflakes fall on top of the roof of the gingerbread house.

The last weeks have been frustrating, something has been happening in Brooklyn lately. Something big, if not huge- and SHIELD told the whole NYPD, that they weren’t permitted to act on it until further notice. Which basically meant never.

They've been put on time out.

"Dude.", a voice lets out, and without looking up he moans in response.

"Not now Rosa, can't you see that I’m unbelievably busy?" "Dude!"

The detective takes a deep breath before he abruptly turns his head in the direction of his friend. Only to make eye contact with Y/N Y/L/N. As in Avenger's Y/N. As in "Killer Queen". As in his dream girl. "Hi.", she says and looks down at him, an inelegant smile emerging on her lips. Jake opens up his mouth and tries his best to answer, but when he realizes that no words are coming out, he shuts it again.

The hero in front of him lifts her eyebrow: "I am looking for a Captain Holt, I was wondering if- wait, are you okay?" Y/N glances at him, with visible worry on her face. In the last few seconds, Jake hadn't blinked. Not once. The young woman stares at him for a brief moment, before she turns around: "I think we might need a doctor- I'm not really sure."

"Nah, don’t mind him. He‘s okay.", Rosa answers and nods her head towards a door: "That’s Holt's office, just knock." Y/N flashes her a sharp smile, before turning once more to look at Jake: "Get well soon, I- I guess."

He watches her as she walks away. Y/N knocks at Holt‘s door, before slipping into it. "Damn, Jake.", Rosa states and sits down on top of his desk. "Smooth." But her friend doesn't react to her comment, instead, he turns to his friend Charles Boyle. "Did you see that?!"

"If I saw that? I made a picture of your interaction in my head. If you two ever get married, I have proof of the minute she fell in love with you. Right-", he points against his temple: "Here.".

Jake stares at his friend, and his smile slowly fades: "You could have simply said yes, you know." Charles nods and holds both his thumbs up.

"Did I fall asleep on my desk, or was that really Y/N?!", Jake asks, his eyes lightening up. Rosa nods: "Yep, pretty cool!"

"I heard, she fought aliens in space." He leans back in his chair, pointing his finger towards the ceiling. Amy Santiago, who sits at the other table rolls her eyes before she proceeds with her paperwork: "Didn't they all do that?" “Yeah, but I just know that she did it like in a really cool way, you know- with her powers and all." He makes a couple of hand gesticulations, acting like he's hurling energy orbs around the room.

His performance gets interrupted when the door to Holt's Office opens and the Captain steps out, followed by the young Avenger. "Emergency meeting in five- everyone meets in the briefing room!"

#b99 #b99 imagine #b99 fic #jake peralta x reader #jake peralta #rosa diaz #amy santiago #charles boyle #mcu x reader #mcu imagine #mcu #marvel #matt murderdock #steve rogers #iron man #Tony stark #crossover #Spotify

[leahblackk]

Lies pt.3

(The gif is not mine. Whoever made this thank you so much and I’m sorry)

Summary: After Y/n is kidnapped Spencer needs to find her before it is too late, but this makes Spencer being put into a very familiar position.

Type: Angst.

Alright people, finally we have the last part of lies and I have to thank all of you for the support and for being so patient with me. I am so sorry for taking so long, and I am sorry for what you will read. I might or might not have cried while I was writing it and editing it. And this fucking thing is so longgg so i am sorry. It took 16 pages like what???

With so much love and pain, Leah.

If you haven't read the first and second part here are the links. 

And if you can read this while listening to Moonlight by future Islands it will be perfect because I was definitely listening to it while I wrote this.

People who asked me to tag them: @rexorangecouny, @b-a-utiful, @measure-in-pain, @jemimah-b99, @brod16​ 

Y/n and Spencer have never been apart from each other. There was something that made the two young doctors crave each other. There was a connection with so much chemistry, with so much love and appreciation. The love they felt for each other wasn't like the others, and they never felt that way with anyone. After all, they belong together because they fit together. Because they were meant to be.

One of their first dates was to watch stars while they made a picnic. Spencer remembers the way her hair was being softly moved by the cold wind of that night. The moon wasn't complete because that way, they could see the stars better. The constellations were connected in the way they were, how the sky was being decorated by the little space things we call stars.

Spencer remembers very vividly how she always talks about astronomy and how the sky and space made her feel.

And that night, the stars were out. Spencer wishes she could be there with him to tell him facts about astronomy even though Spencer already knew all those facts. Still, in the way she narrates it, how she talks so happily, how she moves her hands, and how her eyes are sparkly and lighter than the stars itself make everything better. It was better to hear and learn those facts from her than in a boring book he could finish in less than an hour.

But she wasn't with him. He didn't even know where she was, but when he was out there watching the stars while hot, painful tears were streaming down his face. The universe was the only one who could know how he felt because the universe himself was the one that made them be together. Or well, that's what Spencer liked to think.

But certainly, the night sky wasn't that beautiful now she wasn't there. The night was colder, and he felt alone, empty. The stars seem dull in his eyes. The universe and astronomy weren't that beautiful anymore because the only stars Spencer wanted to watch were her eyes.

And then and there, Spencer made a promise. If he didn't find Y/n, he would never look at the night sky ever again. He won't even going to talk about astronomy in his life because that was her thing, and Spencer didn't want to take that away from her, but if he did find her, he would look at the stars every night before he goes to sleep. He would talk about astronomy, but only to her. He would thank the universe for the rest of his life. He would read all the facts so he can tell her because she always wanted to learn. She always asked Spencer about astronomy.

Spencer wanted his universe again.

He was so stuck in his mind. His eidetic memory wasn't a blessing at that moment. So he didn't hear his friend Derek Morgan approaching him.

He stood beside him. The doctor wasn't looking at his friend. He was looking up.

"Did you know space is complete silence? Some people might think it has a specific type of sound. But is silent." He murmurs while Morgan looks at him in confusion.

"No, I didn't know." He was going to encourage his friends, but the young doctor interrupted him.

"Did you know that on mars, the sunset is blue? I think it's something interesting."

"Kid…"

"Did you know that the name milky way galaxy has something to do with Greek mythology and Hercules? It says that Hera was nursing Hercules while she was asleep, and then when she woke up and pulled away, her breast milk spilled across the heavens. But in Greek mythology, Hera didn't like Hercules because it wasn't her son. Y/n told me that."

"Spencer, I think that's pretty interesting, but-"

"Did you know that-"

"Spencer!"

"What?" Spencer finally looked at his friend with tears in his eyes.

"We are going to find her. I promise."

"Are we? I mean, it's been an hour, twenty minutes, and three seconds since she was kidnapped, and we don't even have a clue where she is. Do you think we are gonna find her, or you just say it because you know this is all my fault, and if I didn’t kiss Cat, she wouldn't be kidnapped?"

Morgan sighed and hugged Spencer. The young doctor was known because he didn't like physical contact, but at that moment, he needed it. "This is not your fault. None of this is your fault, and we both knew you had to kiss her. You err was not telling her why you did it, but you will."

"I tried Morgan," Spencer cried. "I tried, but she wouldn't listen to me. Why didn't she listen to me? I love her. I love her more than anything. I can't lose her. I can't."

"You won't, kid. You won't."

And there, Spencer cried in Morgan's shoulder.

 Twenty minutes after, Spencer tried to help the team in everything he could, but sometimes he would space out, thinking in those moments where Y/n would bring him back to reality by holding his knee. He looked down and put his own hand in his knee, trying to remember what it felt when it was her the one doing it.

"Go ahead, Garcia," Morgan said. There weren't pet names anymore. No one was in good humor to flirt. Even Penelope, her best friend, was missing, and his lack of pet names, cocky and sarcastic answers was showing. She didn't smile, but everyone knew something was wrong besides their current situation.

"A-A video has been sent to- to Spencer. It is Y/n" Penelope tried to talk. Her eyes were red, meaning she was crying.

Everyone looks at Spencer. "Show us." He said.

"Right away."

Everyone looked at the screen in front of them, waiting anxiously for the video. Spencer knew it wasn't a good one.  The video started with a woman in front of the camera not giving a chance to see what was being her but apparently it was a chair.

The woman was trying to get a good angle, and when she made it, she started to walk away from the camera, not losing her view—everyone gasped except Spencer and Hotch, who already had their suspicions. The woman was Cat Adams.

"Hiya Spencie, sadly, I don't get to see you, but at least you can see me," she greeted. "I found someone outside of your office, and it was easy to catch her, and you thought she was smart."

Cat stepped aside, leaving Y/n in everyone's view. She had some minor bruises in her temple, and her lip was bleeding, meaning she had to fight for her life. She was awake, but she was looking at anything more than the floor. Her wrists were tied in the back of the chair, so were her ankles.

Spencer looked carefully at her, looking for lethal injuries, and when he didn't find them, he felt relieved. He looked at her face, and his heart hurt at the view, but even at that moment, he thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world to him, she always has been, and she will always be.

"Look at the front Y/n," Cat said. She didn't do what she wanted, so Cat walked where she was and grabbed her chin, moving it to the camera. Spencer watched her eyes, empty, without light he always liked and red, she had been crying. Those pretty eyes weren't looking at him. Those eyes he loved so much were lost, and Spencer thought it was his fault. He believed it was his fault. "Say hi to Spencer," Cat demanded. Y/n didn't listen to her. "I said to say hi to Spencer," she slapped her cheek, making Spencer's tears finally drop, and a few of the team as well. But even though Y/n didn't say anything. "So, someone has decided to be a little brat. You like brats, Spencer?" Cat asked.

Cat disappeared from the view just leaving Y/n there. She exhaled and looked at the camera. She moved her head to the left, trying to escape from the camera view. Adams came back with something the team wouldn't recognize. She smiled and lit it, the tip of the strange object lit up like a small candle, and put it in Y/n's arm, inside of her arm. She gasped and sobbed. She was trying to be strong, strong for them. "You decided to be a brat and don't do what I say, so this is your punishment."

When she didn't receive any painful reaction from the young agent, she put the object away, watching the slight burning she left in Y/n's arm. "Now, I think we can negotiate with your little friends, don't you think?" She looked at her, but she didn't respond. "Alright, crime fighters, this is what I want. The little bitch here aka Spencer's girlfriend, or should I say ex? Did you break up with Spencer Y/n? After you saw how he kissed me, did he kiss you in the same way? I bet he didn't." Y/n remained silent. "When I talk to you, you will answer me," Cat slapped Y/n’s cheek. She looked at Cat with anger this time.

"How far did you go with your obsession for him? If I wanted to be with you, we would have, but he didn't, did he? So you had to plan and do all of this so you can have all the attention and recognition you didn't have as a child, isn't it? How pathetic you are." Y/n finally talk.

"You don't talk to me like that." Cat slapped Y/n cheek with so much strength that it made Y/n spit blood. And then she looked at Cat again and chuckled.

"You wanted me to talk."

Cat ignored her words, being annoyed by them. She looked at the camera and smiled. "How I was saying, what I want is to Spencer to come. You can bring your team I don’t care, besides I want to all of them watch the show, but you had to enter the building alone, and you can’t do dirty tricks or anything like trying to get the FBI inside because I had cameras everywhere and if I see someone else trying to be inside I will kill her. All of you can watch everything from outside, that's actually the plan, and then maybe I can give you back your little girlfriend. You have to enter with any guns, with anything. Just you, and maybe without clothes, only if you want," Cat smirked and then began to walk close to the camera. "You know the rules, but the question if you dare to play the game Spencie. I see you soon." She winked and took the camera, and the video stopped.

Everyone stayed silent.

"Oh! She sent an address." Penelope knowledge.

"How did she escape?" JJ asked.

"That's what I like to know. Care to explain, Strauss?" Hotch talked, wapping the few tears in his eyes when he saw Erin Strauss walk to the BAU.

"Don't talk to me like that, Aaron. This is not my fault."

"Then who is? One of our agents is being there torture, and you didn't even have the decency to say that maniac escape from prison?"

"I didn't want to alarm the team. She killed a few cops on her way out, but apparently, she had everything planned for weeks."

"Obviously, she had," Rossi said. "Remember when you bring Aaron down because you said he wasn't doing a good job? What is this, then? Are you doing a good job, Erin?"

"This is not my fault, and you know it. I have the power to fire you both for being so unrespectful," Erin attacked.

"Oh yeah? Please do it. I really don't care, Erin. Fire me if you want, but I promise you that I will end you if something happens to her. I actually would like to know what your superiors would think about Erin Strauss. The section chief let a criminal escape and then don't say anything about it.”

"Guys, thank you, Hotch and Rossi, but I don't think how this can help to rescue her, and my girlfriend is out there being tortured by a psychopath, and I really don't think that fighting will help."

"Reid, it's right, we can discuss this later. Right now, we need to think about how we can act," Erin proposed.

"There's any other way than me going," Spencer said with confidence.

"No! Of course, no, that's the worst plan, Spence. I don't think it would work. She's crazy, remember? She would kill you and-" JJ started.

"JJ, she's my girlfriend, and she's suffering, and it's probably my fault."

"It's not," Hotch said. "We will act, and we will find her, I promise you. Besides, she's really strong."

Spencer nodded. She is strong.

She is strong.

He repeated like a mantra to try to calm his nerves.

She is strong.

. . .

 Y/n could see everything so dark and tried to see where she was. She wasn't where Cat left her first when she recorded that video and probably sent it to her friends. She was worried, and not because of her life but for Spencer’s.

She knew he would appear at any moment with the team's approval or not. He was like that. He would give anything for her, even his life, just to save her, and at any other time, that would be comforting, but at that moment, that wasn't good. Her anxiety was all over her body, she could feel the blood in her mouth after the slap Cat gave her, and she could feel the injuries where Cat burned her, she could feel the tight hold in her hands and ankles, she was worried about the team, she was concerned about Spencer, she was concerned about Diana. And last, she was concerned about her life.

Was her life going to end?

Why wasn't that worried about her life? She was sick and concerned about everyone around her but her. Why wasn't she worried? Did she didn't care if her life ends at that moment?

She was confused, concerned, and full of anxiety. She was hurt. She wanted to get out there and never come back.

Cat interrupted her thoughts when she came in. With a black chair and put it in front of her. Cat looked at her and smiled. "Don't worry. I won't kill you even if I want to. I made a promise with Spencie, and besides, if I kill you right now, the show wouldn't be that fun, don't you think? " She walked and sat in front of Y/n. "You know, I always felt that you and Spencer needed couples therapy, you didn't trust in him, and he didn't communicate with you, and you didn't tell him the truth, but maybe when he comes, we can discuss that," and then she left leaving the young doctor confused.

. . .

 Spencer enters the building. Of course, he did. He wasn't going to leave her girlfriend in the hands of that woman even if she didn't want to see him after what he did. And he knows that if she didn't look at him while he was in there, he wouldn't be mad about it. He deserves it, after all.

He was worried. A man he didn't know was escorting him where he was supposed to be. And he was nervous, of course, he was. Her mom was with Penelope, he didn't tell her what happened because he loved Y/n so much that she would feel bad, and Spencer didn't want that.

The man stopped in front of a black door and then left him there, alone. Spencer felt confused, looking everywhere to see what was happening, but then the door got open, letting him see Cat, and he looked inside of the room trying to find Y/n, but Cat blocked his view. "Don't be rude, Spencer, here you follow my rules, and my first rule is to cover your eyes," Cat smiled while she showed him a black tie. Spencer took it, and he put it in his eyes.

Cat took his arm and guided him where she wanted him to be, in a chair in front of Y/n, who also was covered, she tied his ankles to the chair. The room was empty, only with the three people there and two chairs and a table in Spencer’s left. It was dark and cold. The two doctors were anxious. She knew he was there, she could sense his perfume, and Spencer knew she was there because he could feel her in the same way he always perceives her when she came into a room.

Spencer wanted to see her and Y/n deep down. Her soul wanted to see him as well.

Cat took the tie off Spencer's eyes first, and at that moment, his eyes, for instinct, looked for hers. Those beautiful eyes he was craving for, those who were his strength and debility.

He finds them blind on a black tie like his. But there was her, with her hands free in her lap, but her ankles tied in the chair. Her lip was bleeding, and he could see some minor injuries in her temple, the burning in her arm. There she was.

Cat walked to her and took the tie out of her eyes, they were closed, and then she opened them looking for something that Spencer didn't know what it was, she wasn't looking at him yet, but he was craving for it.

Her eyes were red from the crying and how tired she was. Spencer promised that when they get back home, she will sleep for three days straight to recover. She was so beautiful. She was everything Spencer ever wanted and more, and she was his love. The small light of the room, making her look like an angel. His angel.

Y/n finally looked at him, she was scared of what might happen with him, but she was glad to see him even if she was scared of it, even if she didn't know if she really wanted to, but there he was. Looking straight at her, looking at her like she was the most precious thing in the world to him, at that moment, or maybe she has always been, and she never knew.

But his brown hazel eyes were so comforting. That was what she needed to feel strong, to feel free? His lips were highly red, so his eyes, he has been crying, and she could tell. She wonders if she might have something to do it.

She feels baffled, but she sees him, and that was what she needed, even if she says otherwise.

"All right, I guess it is time to begin," Cat starts talking. The surprise was that at that moment, they forgot they weren't alone. "First, don't you think this feels familiar. Don't you get some kind of dejá vú Spencie? This doesn't bring you memories for a certain brown hair girl?" Cat starts passing around the small room.

"I don't know what does that have something to do with all of this," Spencer says, not taking his gaze out of Y/n, but she does. She looks at the floor and his heartaches. She isn't looking at him.

"Oh, Spence, it has all to do with. Did you know that your little girlfriend here felt threatened by her?"

Spencer looks at her, trying to understand or see some kind of emotion in her, trying to find the truth, but she doesn't let him.

"Is that true?" Spencer asks with fear of what the answer might be.

Y/n doesn't respond.

"He's talking to you, sweetheart," Cat says.

"Is not that I felt threatened by her," She says, and Spencer's breathing contains because he is hearing her voice, her sweet voice, "is because I never thought- I felt like I wasn't what she was for him, for you," she looks at him this time, "she was practically your first love, and I came later. Sometimes you have this person in your life, and it is the first time you feel this way. You don't want it to end. And sometimes you feel like you're not good enough even when they say you are, mostly if they loved someone with their entire heart like you did with-with Maeve."

Spencer's face softens by her words. She felt like this, and he never knew.

"But-"Spencer says but is interrupted by Cat.

"Oh no, you are not going to say anything, and all the bullshit we all have heard. I want you to tell her the reason why you kissed me, "she smiles.

"It was because she told me that if I didn't kiss her, she would make your life miserable, and I couldn't stand that. I am so sorry."

"Yeah, but look, I did otherwise. I just have to say that I really loved that kiss. Don't you want to give me another one?" she got closer to him.

"Cat, I don't think-"He says.

"What I told you about rules?" She says and walks to a table and brings a knife with her. "You will listen and do what I say, or bad things will happen," Cat walks to Y/n and puts the knife in her arm.

"Wait! Please don't hurt her. I will do what you want."

She looks at him and smiles, "Good boy."

Cat gets closer to Spencer and sits in his lap. She looks at Y/n first and winks at her, then takes Spencer’s face in her hands and kisses him, but this time Spencer doesn't close his eyes, doesn't even touch her. He is looking at Y/n, trying to apologize with his eyes. She looks the other way while a tear escapes from her eyes.

"Mhm, I bet you enjoy those kisses Y/n. But you need to learn how to share with the class." She gets up and claps her hands together, "Now this night is getting boring. Ugh, I guess it is time to decide whom I will kill," She takes a gun out of her back and points it to Spencer and then to Y/n.

"You said you wouldn't hurt her, "He says.

"I said I wouldn't kill her if you come in, and I didn't. But now you are here. I can do whatever the hell I want, and I want you alive, so the only option is her," She points to her.

"Kill me instead. She doesn't have the fault I didn't end it up with you. It's me who you should be angry with, not her! The only bad thing she ever did was love me."

"I know, Spencer, But I see it in this way. Do you remember all those pretty and lovely letters I wrote you, Y/n? When I said, he didn't love you because he loved Maeve first, and well we all saw how that ended it, but then he found me, and because he couldn't have me, he chose you. You never loved her truly, Spencer, if you think about it. She is just a replacement. And besides, I am mad at you, of course. But I will prefer to see you suffering every day of your life for not choosing me. That is the worst punishment."

“But you should kill me instead, she doesn’t have anything to do with this,”

“I can’t believe you actually prefer to die. But you are right, you have all the fault, because of what you did to me and all the things I did for you and you never accept me. I guess the only way we can fix that is taking something you care about,” she points to Y/n.

Then suddenly they heard a loud noise they couldn't figure out what it was, but Cat was concerned. "What was that? I swear to god it is one of your agents. I will kill you both, "Cat shouts.

"No, it is me. Come look at this Cat, it is urgent," The man said. The man who was with her in all of that, the one who help to bring Y/n. Her brother.

"I will come back soon. You can't escape here, and I will be on the other side of the door. Besides that, we have cameras, so you two will wait until I come back."

Cat leaves, and silence remains in the room.

"Angel, look at me," Spencer says, but she doesn't look at him, "Y/n please," He begs and then she looks at him. "It doesn't matter what she says, or what she is trying to make you believe or what she said to you before, but I do love you so so much. With my entire heart and soul, you are everything and much more to me. I love you so much. And I am so sorry for what you have been through because of me, and I am sorry I didn't realize the way you felt about Maeve. I did love her I am not gonna lie, but what I felt for her wasn't real love, and what I feel for you is much deeper, and you are everything I ever wanted and If someone ever tells me that I can change what happened to her I wouldn't because of what happened I get to know you and love you, and I don't regret anything. You are my universe, and please believe when I say you are everything to me. " Spencer was desperate to let her know what he truly felt.

And then the door got wide open, and it wasn't Cat on the other side or her brother. It was Hotch. Y/n started crying softly when she saw him. There he was. He approached her while Morgan and Prentiss entered the room to help Spencer.

Hotch hugged her, and she cried on his shoulder. "You are okay. Everything is okay now. You will be home soon," he says while he unties her ankles without breaking the hug.

"Thank you, Hotch."

"You don't have to thank me, that's what family is for," Hotch says while he let her free. With tears in his eyes, Prentiss was full of worries that faded away when she saw her and hugged her.

"Oh my god, Y/n, please never do this to us ever again. I was so worried."

"I’m sorry," she chuckles, and Prentiss does the same.

Then Morgan hugged her, crying as well. "We are so glad you are okay. You don't have any idea how worried we were and Penelope, oh my god," He says.

Y/n chuckle and smile. "What happened to Cat and the other man?" She asks.

"We entered the back door, there weren't any cameras, and then we got him before he said anything, we made him call Cat, and we got her as well. They are with the police right now, and you won't see them ever again." She nods.

Spencer looks at her, and Y/n looks at him, but he knew she needed to be checked out for her injuries, so he doesn't say anything yet.

They walked her outside, and JJ and Rossi hugged her, leaving her without air, but happy to see her family again.

. . .

After they checked her and see her injuries, they drive back to Quantico. Spencer was dying inside. He didn't know the next chapter in their life, he didn't want to lose her, but he did understand if she didn't want to be with him.

Everyone greet her, happy to see her again. She couldn’t see Diana because she will be worried about her injuries, Y/n cried with Penelope, but she was happy. Those were happy tears. She was finally in home.

And then she walked outside being called by the sky, looking at the stars. The same ones he was looking at hours before. It was three Am, and he was tired. He walked where she was, looking at the stars and then at her.

"I think we need to talk," he says, playing with his fingers.

"Yeah, I think we do." He looks at her.

"Y/n I want to start saying that I am really sorry. For everything, and I understand if you don't want to be with me anymore, I don't know if we are together right now, you know? You kinda broke up with me," he chuckles, and she does as well. Good sign, Spencer thinks.

"I think we can try, you know? I understand why you did what you did, but it doesn't ease the fact you didn't tell me," Y/n signs. Of course she wanted him back, after all. But she was concerned about their communication skills, not only Spencer’s but hers.

"I know, but I will make it up to you, and I can work that out. Please.” Spencer takes her cold hands into his, giving small kisses to them.

"We need to try the communication, but it can work," Spencer smiles and hugs her.

She hid her face in his neck, and he does the same. He felt like home, he felt like everything was okay, and it was now. She stepped back, but then she hugs him, this time putting her head in his chest.

She looks at the stars, but he's looking at her. She looks at him, smiling. "Why are you not looking at the stars? It is a beautiful night."

He smiles at her, "Because you are the only star I want to look at."

She smiled at him and hid her blushed face from him. He smiles and hugs her tight.

Even though they had an awful night, she still looks at the stars at the end of the day.

At that moment, without them knowing, they made a promise to all the stars in the night sky. At that moment, when they were the only ones in the world.

They enjoy each other warmth, the one they have been craving for, the one that keeps them in their track, with the promise they will try one more time, and maybe a happy ending with love and pride.

Finally everything will be okay, because they were together like the stars in the night sky who were looking at them with pride and love, to always and forever to the end of the world.

#spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer #dr spencer reid #dr spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid angst #Matthew Gray Gubler #matthew gray gubler imagine #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #Criminal Minds #MGG angst #mgg fanfiction #mgg fic #spencer angst #spencer x you #spencer x y/n #spencer imagine #tw angst #reid #doctor reid #spencer fluff #bau!reader

[gaylittleinnkeepers]

MIRACUCLASS B99 AU???

HEAR ME OUT GUYS HEAR ME OUT

- ok,,,ok listen,,,sabrina as the captain? i feel like that would be so cool?

- YOU BET YOUR SOCKS THAT JULEKA IS THE PERFECT ROSA DIAZ,,,BUT INSTEAD OF COMING OUT AS BISEXUAL, SHE COMES OUT AS LESBIAN (BUT EVERYONE SECRETLY KNEW)

- juleka: i’m lesbian. one minute for questions, go. marinette?

marinette: how long have you known?

juleka: pretty much since i was born. rose?

rose: will you fucking marry me

- but like,,,,alya would make an awesome amy santiago, secretly?

- SKDJSKSM ALIX AS GINA LINETTI

- so like, their entire precinct is a fucking mess mostly bc anarka can’t be bothered cleaning stuff up

- there are several animals which have taken up residence there, most notably a dog named mozzarella (get it?? cause cheddar?? no?...okay.)

- ok ok starting w characters. adrien is probably one of those ppl who mostly stay at the precinct and are completely happy with staying at the building and doing paperwork. occasionally sabrina forces him outside

- sabrina is the captain: shes older than everyone else (not by too much, maybe two or so years) and she’s married to aurore beaureal who stops by a lot. she’s not exactly sure how the captain-ing works, but she’s working on it

- also she adores everyone in the precinct and makes sure she says good morning to absolutely everyone when she walks in. (mozzarella also belongs to her)

- marinette is one of their best detectives, she’s super badass and has secretly been seeing kagami, one of the higher-up detectives

- (rose and juleka both have gaydars, she can’t hide from the lesbians)

- kim is out in the field a lot, works a lot in the shootings and stuff

- max is usually back at the precinct, doing paperwork and making calculations ig. nobody rlly knows what max does, he’s just there. so is sabrina. if y’all have any ideas then pls tell

- ivan and mylene are partners in cri- law, they’re always out solving cases and interrogating people together, and they’re fuckin awesome at their job

- ohhhh rose and juleka!,! they’re mostly in charge of a lot of the undercover type things, cause they’re really awesome at looking discreetly like just another gay couple™️

- ivan: why can’t me and mylene do a couples undercover case?

rose, wearing a matching pink striped dress with sunglasses with juleka wearing a purple counterpart: cause only we can really fucking rock it, ivan

- despite popular belief, rose swears quite a bit

- also juleka is usually the one everyone turns to when interrogations are hard because she’s just so scary when left in a room to stare at the suspects

- ahhhh, alix my beloved

- she’s pretty much a gina linetti, she’s like the unofficial receptionist/counter lady of the precinct

- she also does some cases, usually when everyone else is busy

- but alix mostly deals w the calls that come into the precinct.

- chloé!!! my beloved!!!

- her job is kind of a terry crews? i know it sounds weird but. she‘s the oldest and had a hand in training all these guys

- chloé likes to pretend she’s always annoyed but rlly she’s a total mom to everyone (except alix, who has been trying to serenade her for god knows how long)

- chloé: what’s burning?

alix, leaning on her table: only my love for you

chloé: alix…aliX KUBDEL THE TOASTER IS ON FIRE

- nathanael is the guy who does drawings of suspect’s faces?? yo yo in those shows where a witness describes the suspect and the dude draws them?? yeah that’s him

- marc, his boyfriend, pops in a lot mostly for mental and emotional support

- alya is amy santiago?? thoughts??

- mostly it’s cause i feel like she overworks sometimes to seem like she’s rlly awesome at her job even though she really is. and nino (who would make a freaking awesome jake peralta) is always there to support his gf and be the token straight couple in the precinct

- ok ok now general shenanigans

- juleka and rose are actually the people that most go to for relationship advice. like, if nino and alya are fighting or something, they’d both (separately) go to see julerose and ask them what to do (juleka usually says ‘bone’ while rose says something a bit better)

- also, everyone is convinced that juleka and rose ‘do things’ in the basement but nobody can ever catch them at it so they’re not sure

- ivan and mylene work so WELL together and it’s so awesome to see them out and about

- adrien and rose are in charge of lost kid cases and the such

- one time there was a baby left behind by his mother, and those two took care of him until they found an orphanage that could take in the baby

- (rose cried for a week straight after that)

- y’all don’t know how CRAZY birthday parties get….we’re not going to go into chloé’s birthday that one time……

- oh! luka and kagami! my children! luka works part-time at a pizza place and part-time at the pub that everyone in the precinct goes to

- he occasionally brings them a pizza while they’re working and hangs out w his emo sis and pink future sis-in-law

- kagami, i said earlier, works with the higher-grade detectives and police guys

- she does more awesome spy-like things, but she adores the people of the precinct and makes a point of stopping by (probably to look at marinette)

- aurore is sabrina’s wifey who comes along for cookies and emotional support

this is already too long i’ll write more later

*retreats into hole*

#b99 au #brooklyn nine nine #miracuclass #miraculous ladybug #miraculous #mlb #ml #julerose #nathmarc #marcnath #juleka x rose #djwifi #marigami #kagaminette #myvan #chlolix #juleka couffaine #sabrina raincomprix #nathanael kurtzberg #marc anciel #alya cesaire #nino lahiffe #mylene haprele #ivan bruel #le chien kim #max kante #chloé bourgeois #alix kubdel #rose lavillant #marinette dupain cheng

[randomprose]

jiang cheng with the junior quartet in which they've outgrown their fear of him and they realized sect leader jiang is just a giant grumpy cat with mother-hen tendencies.

when they night hunt with him occasionally he always has snacks and buys them street food if they finish early. he'll scold them for eating unhealthily but buys them the treats anyway. once, ozz said he's never had zongzi so jc bought them all one each from a stall.

he doesn't even say anything to wen ning anymore. when he sees that the juniors are with him, he just gives an acknowledging nod and a gruff reminder directed at the four of them to don't do anything stupid before going on his way. like he trusts them with him.

but anyway, these juniors start to pester jiang cheng whenever they're in yunmeng and they've somewhat learn how to decipher his scowls and screams from normal fond-bordering-on-affectionate ones to actually angry ones—the latter of which is rarely ever directed at them.

they're over at lotus pier whenever JL is. JL doesn't get to go there much now because of his sect leader duties but when he is, he is sure followed by his friends. it's like they've decided lotus pier is their go to headquarters where they can fool around and shit. jiang cheng would pretend he hates it and finds them all a nuisance ("don't you kids have your own sects to go home to?? lotus pier is not your play place! why are you brats always here?!") but he's really glad JL's got friends with him now. he used to be such a lonely child.

overtime, they just randomly pop up even when JL isn't there. jiang cheng is always surprised to see either lsz, ljy, or ozz in the compound saying they were in the area and decided to pop in for a greeting like: hi sect leader jiang! how are you? been to any night hunts lately?

they're over there a lot that they even have their own regular guest quarters by now. ones close to JL's suites in the family compound. they sometimes train with the disciples but otherwise they just mess around lotus pier and swim in the lakes. especially in the summers.

JL is ecstatic! finally! people who understands his jiujiu's weird show of affection other than wwx! JL thinks his jiujiu is just severely misunderstood but he really is just a Big Softie with grumpy tendencies.

oh and he teaches them stuff too obviously, but not in the way that's playful and interactive like wwx or direct like lwj. jiang cheng's wisdom comes in random bouts in the middle of night hunts. small tidbits on fighting born out of experiences from the war and life in general. the profound ones come when he's two bottles deep just before turning in or when they're strolling on busy night markets going home and he doesn't even mean to but the juniors are like 'wow that makes so much fucking sense we never thought of it that way what the fuck.'

when the juniors are night hunting near yunmeng or if lotus pier is their meeting point and jiang cheng doesn't get to come with them, he makes the servants pack them extra snacks or pile them on to JL to share with his friends. the servants are careful not to say anything but they all know it's under sect leader jiang's orders

ohmygod jiang cheng is such an overbearing mother hen. but in a good way! the juniors learned to enjoy it the best they can and needle him into buying them snacks or letting them do stuff they normally wouldn't get away with from wangxian. he's literally the grumpy uncle who's also the most indulgent.

on god can you imagine jiang cheng being THAT UNCLE who lets u get away with small misdemeanors?? ABSOLUTELY INSANE. but he does with the juniors!! like he trusts them to not be so stupid and call for help when need (also they have a fierce corpse as a companion most of the time anyway, so).

some sprinkles of wangxian bc i'm a slut for them: 

wangxian notice that they've been talking a lot about sect leader jiang. “oh,” wwx says, “you went night hunting with jiang cheng? when was this how come i’ve never heardof it?” he's clearly itching to ask more he's practically vibrating.

ljy: don’t worry wei-qianbei you're still our favorite! sect leader jiang is our close 3rd  wwx: 3rd? who's 1 and 2? ozz: you and hgj are #1 of course! wwx: we tied for #1?   ljy: yeah you're practically a package deal. do not separate and all that wwx: who's #2 tho? ozz: wen-qianbei! wwx: huh. valid.

jl: speak for yourselves. jiujiu is my #1. wwx: that's also very valid too a-ling. otherwise i'll have to scold you for being unfilial and jiang cheng will break your legs for breaking his heart.

once while relaying a report, lsz called jiang cheng ‘shūshū’ and wwx had to do a double take because um what? what did you just call jiang cheng? lsz blushed and stuttered an explanation before jl explained obnoxiously:

jl: jiujiu told him to call him that. told him to go to the ancestral hall to pay respects too. he must really like you sizhui.  ljy, #1 sizhui fan: of course he likes sizhui! everyone does! wwx: is it true sizhui? lsz, blushing:...shūshū's nice... wwx:...jiang cheng...shushu...nice..ok....okok...

lmao one of them (either ozz or ljy but i think it will be more hilarious if it's ljy) slipped and called jiang cheng 'jiujiu' once just because he kept hearing jl calling him that. jiang cheng just turns to him with a mild "that's jiang-zongzhu to you, lan jigyi."

and god!!! ljy is so mortified!!! this is worst than that one time he accidentally called hgj 'dad'!! it doesn't help that his friends are assholes (yes even sizhui!!) and never let him live it down. especially JL!! he's all "don't go stealing my jiujiu now" fuck you JL!! as if ljy will!!

also, once when they were sassing jiang cheng, (they get!! to sass sect leader jiang!! and he only threatened to break their legs once!!) and ljy got the last word in, jiang cheng hit him w/ a "is that any way to talk to ur uncle? huh, nephew?" which effectively shut up ljy as his friends roared in laughter propriety be damned!!

((yes i was thinking of that B99 episode where jake peralta called captain holt dad and holt went in for the ride and called jake 'son' lmao))

goodddd!!! i live for the junior quartet discovering that underneath jiang cheng's rough exterior he's a Big Softie who's also hilarious even when he doesn't mean to. JL is very happy with this development and wwx is happy to hear stories about his brother having fun with the kids.

this ran long but i also just wanna says this is because of queen jiang yanli's influence (you guys notice how yunmeng trio are all good with kids?) 

ANYWAY! this is me again with my 'Jiang Cheng is Great With Kids So Give Him More Kids To Take Care Of' agenda and you all should jump in on it thank you.

[posted on twitter]

#i just think jc will be so good with kids of all ages #he's got so much love to give #and noone to give it to #so it's just all pent up inside him #so he's all rage-y and shit #jiang cheng #junior quartet #lan sizhui #lan jingyi #jin ling #ouyang zizhen #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #headcanon #mdzs headcanons

[confused-as-all-hell]

where would each of the court members be in the court, if the coc was real?

i would presumably spend my days everywhere, reading on the couches, sitting cross legged on the kitchen table, sprawled across the floor of the library, i just like being around my court and my castle of chaos

@investmentofmyheart would be sitting in the living room, trying to read a book but really getting distracted by whatever movie's playing on the tv, and then she inevitably tries to fight ash for the remote, this is canon

@twelve-kinds-of-trouble would be outside in the gardens, tending to the roses and reading poetry aloud like the aesthetic she is, making everyone fall in love with her fucking beautiful voice (//gen)

@saltyfortunes would be working on some project or another, maybe in the kitchen while someone else is baking, and then she wanders out to the gardens with a snack to take a nap

@ghafascortana is sprawled out on an infirmary bed, eating chocolate and trying to think of remedies for a paper cut, generally panicking but also the best healer we have

@22herondale is watching gossip girl on the sofas, maybe eating popcorn, probably fighting lizzie over the remote, definitely updating the court on the latest gossip in the parlor

@ahecktonoffandomsinoneblog is also sitting in the garden, listening to lyra read, eating a fuckton of sugar and making crowns of lavender and pearl

@sankta-chaosqueen meant to watch over the gardens incase somEONe came back to run it over, but really she got lured to sleep and can now be seen slumbering like a faerie amid the flowers

@counting2zer0 is in her room with books and music piled up like a fortress, with a few cats we have no clue how she acquired, but she always shows for every single meal

@claremcnt is in the infirmary, helping lucie with all the patients, because they actually know what they're doing, and probably stealing some food from the kitchens at any given moment

@alonlyfangirl is playing the ukulele while chaos unfolds behind her, like gina listening to music while terry fights off three criminals at once (b99 reference)

@nevada-the-pirate is wearing a crown of flowers that lyn made her, running through the library, (she's turned it into an obstacle course) and challenging us all to duels

@theglassphantom has taken court in the dining room, where she screens all the food ry makes to check for poison, and steals half the sugar from our cabinets

@thebonecarver is reading in the library and helping nev set out obstacle courses, generally taking care of us dumbasses, and making the best dinners ever

@dreaminginvelaris hides away in a corner of the library with her books and pens, the scholar, we lower ourselves before her for advice like in lotr, she's so smart and we're all chaotic

@ratabrasileira is up in her room listening to music, but every once in a while, she comes downstairs to help make breakfast and recommend songs that are simply wonderous

@im-someone-i-guess is in a spare room, drawing out the floor plans, recreating the whole castle, or sleeping in the movie theatre while everyone else squabbles over whose turn it is to pick

@kazoo-the-demjin sits in the living room with ash and lizzie, she's hidden the remote, they toil in vain, she eats handfuls of popcorn while they fight to the death

@iambecomeyourvillain is our resident hacker, she knows how to bypass every rule and company ever created, and she makes fantastic waffles on fridays

@warmachinerox-with-an-x-all-caps doesn't interact very much, but she stops by every so often with chocolate and chaos, and can be glimpsed scheming on monday mornings

@jurdan-my-beloved reads in the living room, oblivious to the war going on, drinking carmel coffee that only she knows how to make, eating waffles that she begged jes for

@wafflesandschemingfaces sleeps in the garden, sunshine in the shape of a girl, a book beneath her hand and light smudged across her face, the only peaceful one-

@nightshade3465 is the executioner, she stays in the dungeon to make herself more threatening, but really she's turned a cell into a literal pillow fort

@herondalesunsetcurve is burning down something, the gardens, the kitchens, and constantly eating either soaps from her bathroom or candles from the dining area, we dont know whY

@cressjacquine is watching everything from the turret of the castle, a bow and arrow in hand, but since we live in the middle of nowhere, she likes to shoot at the gardens for sport

@sapphossidechick reads peacefully, halts our inevitable wars, generally ensures we murder our enemies instead of one another, tg for her

@naz-yalensky can be glimpsed running over the royal gardens, setting fire to the library, or serving time in the dungeons for her crimes

@brekkercookie is a literal cinnamon roll, she just makes everyone happy by being there, and fulfills her given role as lady of this chaotic court

@neilperryisalive is usually with me; when the castle is awake, we scheme, when they slumber (or pretend to smh) we dream impossibilities. also tv.

@idkwhatthehellisgoingonrn is ever bewildered by the chaos of this court, and can often be seen in their room with chocolate and books and notebooks of looped writing

@echos-of-ages-past is the only reason we’re still sane, they’re the court fool but the smartest person here, it’s probably thanks to their counsel the castle stands still

lmk if i missed you-

#court of chaos #castle of chaos

[amyscascadingtabs]

don’t want to keep secrets just to keep you [chapter 1]

“Actually, I want to add one more rule.” “Yeah?” Jake leans back in his chair, crossing his arms behind his head and flexing his biceps through the green shirt with a smug grin. “You’re not allowed to fall in love with me.” "Won't be a problem."

Amy Santiago doesn't date cops. Jake Peralta's sworn never to date a lawyer again. When a couple of drinks and the returning of a borrowed shirt ends with the two of them in bed together, Amy decides to take control of the situation the best way she knows how: a comprehensive set of rules. There's just one little thing she hadn't anticipated – Jake Peralta is full of surprises.

Written for the B99 Summer 2021 Fic Exchange.

AO3 link // playlist

My contribution to this year’s fic exchange, for @fezzle​! @b99fandomevents​​ 💛

1. i never saw you coming (and i’ll never be the same)

 He gets out of the car, and before Amy can gather the courage to shout after him, he’s disappeared from her sight.

She leans her forehead against the steering wheel, squeezing her fist and punching it in frustration. It doesn’t feel better, just makes her hand hurt. Amy pretends that’s what’s making her eyes tear up, and not the thought that she just screwed up her chances of ever seeing Jake Peralta again.

 five months earlier.

 The cop is five minutes late entering the courtroom, and Amy vows to dislike him from that point onward.

 What's worse is that he doesn't seem ashamed. He simply gives Judge Stewart an apologetic grin, runs a hand through his already messy hair, and sits down on the bench next to the sergeant Amy recognizes as Terry Jeffords. Amy gives him a polite faked smile to tell him she's noted this presence and she's going to win this case, but the cop doesn't seem to notice the toxicity in her facial expression, because she gets another wide grin back. Judging from the colorful marks on his teeth, it looks like he had candy for breakfast – could it be gummy bears? Either way, Amy's respect for the man sinks even lower.

 At least she won't have to worry about him, she tells herself. She already knows this case is about to be a win.

 That is until it turns out this man has a reply for everything. She’d been certain the evidence against her client was circumstantial at best, nowhere near enough to get him convicted on, and the notes she’d gone through from the initial police questioning had lacked significant information. It had been nothing short of sloppy, and she’d entered the courthouse this morning filled with glowing confidence. That same confidence is now seeping away, dripping onto the polished floors of the courtroom in exchange for heated frustration as it turns out the detective – Jake Peralta, she learns – was present at the scene earlier than Amy had gathered, and from the vantage point he had, saw her client running from the corner store at full speed.

“Would you say it’s possible my client was running for a different reason?” She asks, staring coldly into the detective’s eyes as she speaks. “Such as exercising, perhaps?”

“Well, he was carrying a huge green backpack, identical to the one he was wearing when my partner Charles caught him ten minutes later. So, no,” he says, meeting her look with a smug smile of his own. “I would say that’s unlikely.”

“But not impossible?”

“Considering we also found the stolen goods in that same backpack, I’d say the chance is pretty solid it was him.”

“The bags couldn’t have been switched? Or, as my client claims, the goods couldn’t have been dropped in there by someone who wanted to get rid of them?”

“With all due respect,” says Jake Peralta, and the self-assuredness in his voice is enough for her to know the case is lost. “The streets were more crowded than a Taylor Swift concert, your honor. Someone would have seen something.”

 ~

 It’s late Friday afternoon by the time Amy returns to the office of Newsom & Associates, but there’s still plenty of her coworkers left to watch as she throws her briefcase on top of the chair before closing the door to her office and digging out her pack of shame cigarettes from the bottom drawer of her desk. The only window in the room opens out to a back alley with trash cans and forgotten bikes, which is a drab view most of the time but comes in handy for secret shame-smoking. She closes her eyes and leans back against the wall, trying to savor the first inhale. She hates the habit and always tells herself she’s going to quit soon, but at times when work stresses her out like this, there’s no better fix. It’s all Jake Peralta’s fault, anyway. He’d waved at her when they’d left the courtroom, looking genuinely pleased to see her, and that had only worsened her frustration. It’s one thing being defeated – it’s worse when the winner acts like it wasn’t even a big deal.

 “You should stop that.” The sound of Rosa’s voice appearing in the doorway to Amy’s office causes her to inhale too much smoke, coughing and tearing up as she hurries to extinguish the cigarette butt on the windowsill. “It’s gross.”

“I needed it,” Amy coughs again before drying her eyes with the sleeve of her blazer. “You should’ve been there. That fucking detective ruined my defense.”

“So? It happens. Doesn’t make you a bad lawyer. Stop pitying yourself.”

“You’re just saying that because you win nearly all your cases,” Amy mumbles. “And everyone’s terrified of you.”

Rosa does a little shrug, but Amy thinks she can spot the hint of a smile on her lips. She can’t be certain, though. Rosa almost never smiles, but that’s not nearly the most terrifying thing about her. She also rides her motorcycle to court and wears leather jackets and skin-tight black jeans to trials, and somehow no one's ever dared to police her on it. Amy once asked her out of curiosity if putting on a blazer would really hurt that much, and the stare she got back told her she’d be a fool to make that mistake again.

“Either way, it's not that. It was that cop who ruined everything. I mean, he showed up late, for god’s sake, with candy in his teeth and a wrinkled suit! But he somehow had an answer and explanation for everything,” Amy snorts. “And he smiled the whole time like he’d already won. And he referenced Taylor Swift! During the trial! Who does that?”

Rosa lets out a laugh. “You're a Swift hater? God, please don't tell me you took Kanye’s side too.”

“I didn't – that's beside the point!”

“Which is?”

“That he has zero respect for the sacred rules of a courtroom, and gets away with it all because of that super-charm smile.”

“Yeah, you mentioned the smile. Twice.”

“It was just so…” She clenches her fist until her red nails press into her palm to the point of pain, then releases it. “It's fine. I’ll win my next case, and there are lots of cops in New York. I probably won't ever see him again.”

 ~

 Amy can barely hide her frustration in court the next week when she hears the doors open and looks up from the papers she was sorting, only to see Jake Peralta for the second time in her life. He’s on time today, which she supposes is progress, but there are stains on his shirt that seem to be coming from the can of orange soda he’s holding in his hand. She wonders if it's his breakfast. If that's his diet, he looks surprisingly fit in a grey suit for it.

 He grins again when he sees her, raising his hand in a lazy wave. Amy gives him a forced smile, then returns to her papers. She’ll have to make sure to win this time.

 But despite her confidence and very best efforts, she loses to Jake Peralta yet another time.

And another.

And another.

 It's not that she's suddenly magically unlucky, because she still manages to win several other cases, but every time Jake Peralta shows up to testify, without fault, Amy loses.

It infuriates her.

 The worst part is that Jake seems oblivious to her anger. He smiles at her every time they leave the courtroom, even though she returns them with little to no genuineness at all. She once spots him doing a childish victory gesture outside the courthouse, but he never once takes the opportunity to brag about his win to her face.

 Aside from his surprisingly good manners when it comes to bragging, though, he's a mess. There's always some kind of stain on his shirt or his cheek that he seems unaware of, his ways of describing things involve one too many pop culture references for Amy’s liking, and she starts preparing to meet him every time a detective is five minutes late. She wonders if no one's ever told him how one is supposed to behave in a courtroom, but he’s usually accompanied by the precinct’s sergeant, so that seems unlikely. The more likely option, Amy figures, is that he just doesn't seem to find it that important; especially considering he seems to get away with it every single time.

 She swears it's all because of that stupid infectious smile.

 ~

 It pleases Amy to no end when she learns that Jake Peralta is going to be the witness in one of the strongest cases she’s had in a long while. The client was clearly acting in self-defense, she has a witness of her own who can testify to that, and although she knows that nothing is for certain until the verdict falls, she’s got a good feeling about this one. Finally, the day has come for Jake Peralta to watch her win.

 At first, the state attorney’s case seems solid. Jake is assisted by a short, round-faced man with dark brown hair and an expression that looks like he’s seconds away from apologizing for taking up everyone’s time, but his suit is matched and perfectly straight and he gets right to the point without any odd references, so Amy still earns a fair amount of respect for detective Charles Boyle. He and Jake had entered the subway car after hearing about a fight taking place, and stepped on just in time to watch her client aim a closed-fist punch at the face of the man on top of him. It’s clear and convincing, but Amy knows that after the recess, it will be her time to shine. She loves these moments, when it’s obvious the other side thinks they have it in the bag but she knows something they don’t, and they have no idea what’s coming. She knows trials are about justice and not personal victories – but she’s only human. Winning is always a thrill.

 She’s thinking about how she’s going to be celebrating her win later this evening when Jake Peralta bumps into her at the coffee shop neighboring the courthouse. As in, literally bumps into her, with his elbow when he hurries forward to grab a plastic cup with whipped cream and so much caramel syrup on top of the coffee that Amy pities his dentist.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry… wait, it's you!” He shines up as if he’d just seen a past good friend, and Amy’s once more taken aback by how polite he is. A lot of cops she meets during trials either tend to make fun of her profession or glare bitterly at her from a distance, but Jake's doing neither. He even reaches out his free hand to shake hers, so she accepts. “Jake Peralta – wow, you have a very firm handshake.”

“I took a seminar. Amy Santiago.”

“Where?” He asks, but she ignores him and moves forward in line to order her coffee with milk.

“Nothing for your client? Wow. I’d expected you to have better manners than that, Santiago.”

“I offered, but he wanted to spend recess with his partner for moral support. See?” She raises a brow at him. “I do have manners.”

There's that smile again, up close this time, and Amy's relieved when the barista hands her the coffee so she can hide the involuntary blush in her cheeks. She never noticed he had dimples before.

“So, how are you feeling about the rest of the trial, then? Ready to go defend the guilty guy?”

“Innocent until proven guilty, Peralta. Famously one of the most sacred principles in the American justice system. And I was born ready.”

“And lose. The whole question was, are you ready to go defend the guilty guy and lose, and you said you were born that way.” Jake grins in a way that makes him look like an overgrown mischievous school kid. Maybe not that far off, Amy thinks.

“Twist my words all you want, I am winning this case.” She hesitates for a moment, noticing Jake's detective partner looking at the two of them from a table in the corner of the room. Not normally something she'd be that creeped out by, if it hadn't been for the fact that the man isn’t tearing his eyes away from them, and he looks weirdly overjoyed. “Uhm, is detective Boyle okay? He's staring at us pretty intensely.”

“Huh? Oh yeah, he has… an eye condition.” Jake turns around and mouths something that looks to be BOYLE, and the man rolls his eyes before stalking away. “Ignore him. Anyway… so what do you think about the judge?”

 Amy's about to launch into a description of her good experience with judge Myers when someone brushes past her with their iced coffee in a hurry, losing control of the plastic cup. The unsecured lid wobbles, and before Amy realizes what’s about to happen, cold coffee splashes onto her earlier pristine white blouse. “Fuck!” She reaches for a bunch of paper napkins and tries to dab the worst away with them, but the milky coffee is already seeping through the fabric and leaving an obvious stain that her blazer can’t hide.

“What a jerk,” Jake mutters, glaring in the direction of where the stranger disappeared.

“Never mind that! I don’t have another shirt! I can’t go into a courtroom looking like this! Unlike you, I actually care about whether my clothes have giant stains on them!”

“First of all, rude, and second of all, they’re not giant.”

“I don’t care. I’m screwed. Fuck, I don’t have time to run back home before the trial starts – I guess I could call Rosa –”

“Hey, hey.” Jake holds up his hands as if trying to calm her down, which only makes Amy more frustrated. “I know this is kind of crazy, but, I have a shirt in my car that I was planning to return to my ex. But emphasis on ex, so…” He shrugs. “You could borrow it?”

 Amy considers her options. On the one hand, she figures there’s about an eighty percent chance that whatever Jake has in his car also has some kind of mysterious stain on it, but on the other hand, she took the subway today and there's no way she’ll make it to her apartment and back before the court is back in session. Asking for a longer recess is an option, but making everyone wait simply because she needs a change of clothes makes her too uncomfortable to even consider.

“Fine,” she relents. “Where's your car?”

 Jake's car turns out to be an old Mustang, which Amy can tell even from her strictly limited car-knowledge is pretty impressive, but she doesn't understand how he can find anything in there. The backseat is a mess of empty orange soda bottles, a couple of frisbees, candy wrappers, what looks to be cartoons and old CDs, and the cup holders have shaving foam next to another can of orange soda. She's equally surprised and impressed when he pulls out a clean, dark blue charmeuse blouse. Whoever Jake's ex-girlfriend was, she seems to have both taste and money.

“You're totally saving my day today,” she says as he gives it to her. “You really didn't have to.”

“Prove that cops aren't all bad?” Amy rolls her eyes, and Jake laughs. “Just kidding. You have to give it back, though.”

“As soon as I’ve washed it. Wait, we have to be able to get in touch.” She digs in the inside pocket of her briefcase and pulls out two of her business cards. “I’m assuming you don't have any, so write your number on the back of that one.”

“Rude, but correct.” He scribbles down something on one of the cards before giving it back. “I’ll see you up there, then… Amy Santiago.”

Something about the way he says her name, slowly and with perfect pronunciation, makes her want to hear it again. She hurries back into the building and toward the bathrooms, hopefully before he can tell that she's blushing.

 “The defense may call the next witness.”

“The defense calls Elinor Simons.” Amy can feel everyone's eyes on her as well as the witness as a young girl, no more than eighteen, walks up to the stand. She's pale, but she looks determined, and Amy gives her a comforting smile as she swears the oath.

 Elinor’s voice trembles at her first words, but Amy keeps steady eye contact with her, and soon she’s speaking louder and less hesitant. She had been on her way to her friend’s house when she entered the same subway car as the two young men, and had overheard the two of them fighting over something. Sitting only a few seats away from them in the near-empty car, she’d noticed the defendant looking scared, and out of curiosity, had turned off her music. She’d heard the man who’d later gotten attacked – Mr. Lorentz – scream that the defendant was an asshole, and then she’d seen him push him to the floor, much unlike the way the prosecution had described a course of events in which both men had slipped. It had scared her, so she’d gotten up to walk away, but before she could move she’d seen Mr. Lorentz leaning down.

“It looked like he was about to hit the defendant,” she says without wavering, and Amy can see a few of the jury members nodding in understanding. “And even if they were about the same size, Mr. Lorentz looked really strong. The defendant tried, but it seemed to me like he was unable to get up. I remember thinking this wasn’t going to end well, so I headed for the end of the car before they noticed me.”

“And you’re sure of what you saw?”

“Completely sure. I only found out later that the defendant was a cousin of my sister’s boyfriend, which is how I learned about the trial.”

Amy nods and clasps her hands together, trying to assume a confident stance as she keeps her eyes focused on the witness stand. “Elinor, in the position he was in, do you believe that the defendant would have been scared?”

“I think anyone would have been.”

“So the punch witnesses watched the defendant throw, could it have been in self-defense?”

“Yes. Yes, I think so.”

Amy smiles. “Thank you. No further questions.”

 The prosecution’s closing arguments are short and precise, sticking entirely to the part of the events that took part after the police walked in. The district attorney, a balding man in his fifties, as good as overlooks Elinor’s testimony in favor of focusing in on detailed descriptions of the headaches Mr. Lorentz had experienced after the event, and that alone is enough to make Amy’s blood boil; but instead she just sits there, waiting with a polite smile on her lips.

 Finally, the other attorney sits down, and the judge nods at Amy to stand up. During her very first trials, this moment used to freak her out – everyone’s eyes on her and waiting expectantly – but with time she’s come to love this. It reminds her of the thrill of getting the last word in a heated fight with her siblings when she was younger, only now, she doesn’t have to shout to be heard. Everyone’s already listening.

 “Your Honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury: it’s correct that the defendant hit Mr. Lorentz on that train. He admits to doing so himself.” Amy nods to the young man sitting next to her, fidgeting nervously with the cuffs on his shirt. “But there is one key aspect which the prosecution has so conveniently chosen to ignore, and that is the events which led up to Mr. Petersen’s actions. A background which he not only has explained clearly himself, but which is also backed up by Ms. Simmons’ testimony.” She gestures with her hand to Elinor.

“You see, Mr. Petersen wasn’t acting unprovoked. When the incident happened, he had been pushed to the floor, and like both my client and the witness described, he was unable to get up. Mr. Lorentz himself admits to practicing weightlifting; he’s not a weak man, and in the moment, he was clearly upset with the defendant. As Ms. Simmons put it… “ She takes a break to gather the attention of everyone in the room. “Anyone in that position would have been terrified.”

“Under New York Law, Penal Law paragraph thirty-five point fifteen, a person is justified in using physical force against another, when that person is under the reasonable belief that the physical force is necessary to defend the person from what they reasonably believe to be the illegal imminent use of force or the illegal use of force. Mr. Petersen was stuck, and under the reasonable belief that Mr. Lorentz could hurt him unless he managed to free himself. He acted in self-defense, which I remind you that the prosecution has not been able to disprove. In fact, the case against Mr. Petersen cannot be proved against reasonable doubt, which means that you must find him… not guilty.”

 From the other side of the room, she swears she can feel Jake’s eyes on her. When she looks up, she sees him mouthing nice job.

 ~

 “What did you say he looked like, now again? Except for crazy hot and adorable?” Kylie takes another sip of her mojito, spying over the crowded bar.

“Okay, I said neither of those things.”

Kylie shrugs. “Didn’t have to.”

“Ugh. Whatever. Brown hair, brown eyes, medium height, I guess kind of a bigger nose… and I don’t know what he wears outside of court, but there was a leather jacket in the front seat of his car, so maybe that?” She strains her neck to try and see through the Friday night crowd. She’s never been to this particular Brooklyn bar before, but Jake had suggested it when Amy asked about a good place to give him back the shirt, and she’d figured after a long week, she might as well treat herself to a couple of after-work drinks with a friend. After being asked about the so-called mystery hottie five times, though, she’s starting to regret bringing Kylie along.

“Mm, that’s like, all the guys in here… oh, wait, that one’s waving to you!” Kylie points to a figure near the door, elbowing Amy in the side and causing her to nearly choke on her wine. She’s still coughing when Jake walks up to them, trying to offer him a smile while drying her eyes. Jake looks politely confused, but shakes Kylie’s hand in the meantime.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” she says with a meaning wink to Amy before sliding off the leather barstool, leaving it for Jake. “Have a good night!”

“Ignore her.” Amy sighs. “Sorry, I…”

“No, no worries,” Jake says, and the honest care in his expression makes her feel oddly warm. “You okay?”

“Yeah, sorry.” She waves a dismissive hand and picks up the dry-cleaning bag hanging on the back of her chair. “Well, here’s the shirt. Thank you for the loan. Or thank your ex, I suppose.”

“Dry-cleaned, really? You truly are type A.”

“What about it?”

“Nothing, it makes sense.” He nods to the glass in her hand. “Celebrating Tuesday’s win?”

“Something like that. It was Monday, though,” she can’t stop herself from correcting him. “I don’t get a lot of time off. Gotta make the best out of it.”

“Yeah, me neither. Do you mind if I join you for another drink? Or maybe you should do water, in case you choke again?”

Something about the way he poses it like a challenge makes her take the glass, put it to her lips, and swallow the rest of the wine in one gulp. “I think I can handle it.”

 They pay for their own drinks, because whatever this meeting is, it’s definitely not a date, and it makes Amy relieved that Jake doesn’t seem to think so either.

“A toast,” he suggests. “To your win this week. I gotta give it to you, those closing statements were solid.”

“To justice,” Amy says, and they raise their beer bottles in unison. “And my win. Finally.”

“Yeah, what has it been, like, five wins for me?”

“Four, but dream on, Peralta.”

Jake laughs. The dimples in his cheeks become even more prominent when he laughs, Amy notes. “Have you always been this intense about winning cases, then? Or is it something that comes with law school? Like there’s a class in being petty about this stuff?”

You’re intense too, she thinks, but doesn’t say it out loud. “Maybe. I have seven brothers, and I was the only girl. I got pretty good at winning fights using other things than physical strength when I was a kid. Actually, sometimes physical strength, too.”

“I feel like you could beat someone up if you wanted to. You could surprise them.”

“Oh, I could most definitely beat someone up if I wanted to. But I stuck to arguing. I got good at it. And I always had good grades, so I ended up at Columbia, and I’ve never really regretted it.” She takes a swig of her beer. “Not even when cops call me the devil.”

“I wouldn’t call you the devil,” Jake says. “I mean, do I think you lack a bit of a moral compass? Probably. But each to their own.”

She leans her head a little bit to the side, eyeing him closely. “Why do you think that?”

“Well, you have to defend people that you know did awful things, right? Doesn’t that make you feel sick sometimes?”

“I don’t have to defend their actions. Most times, it’s not even about that. It’s about making sure the trial is fair, the evidence is sufficient and their rights are respected, so that if there’s a conviction, it’s actually beyond any reasonable doubt. I like to believe most people are better than their worst moments. I see it as my job to make sure they’re treated that way.”

“Huh.” Jake nods slowly. “Guess I never thought of it that way.”

“Plus,” she winks, “someone’s gotta hold you guys accountable, right?”

“Fine.” He shakes his head. “Hey, did you say you went to Columbia? My captain’s husband teaches law there. Did you ever have a Kevin Cozner?”

“No way! Your captain is Raymond Holt?” She’s speaking way too loudly, she can tell from the way other people are glancing at her, but Jake looks entertained. “Sorry, it’s just – Professor Cozner was my favorite constitutional law teacher. I still send him and Raymond Christmas cards every year!”

“That doesn’t surprise me in the slightest.” Jake grins. “But, how weird is that? Almost like the universe is bringing us together or something.”

Amy thinks that it’s not that weird, since Kevin must teach hundreds of students every year that g on to become lawyers, but she kind of wants to keep seeing that smile on Jake’s face forever, so she nods. “So weird.”

 They order another drink, plus some chips and nuts when Jake realizes he forgot to eat dinner, and move to another table in the back of the room. Amy’s surprised how comfortable she feels in his presence. It’s like she can’t wipe the smile off her face but doesn’t want to, and with time and a little more alcohol, jokes that she barely would have noticed on any other day become laugh-out-loud funny. It feels natural, even though she’s not sure how, and she tries not to glance at the clock on the wall when he doesn’t either. She’s got work to do tomorrow and she can’t stay out forever, but she doesn’t want to be reminded that this evening has to end at some point.

 “So what made you become a cop, then?” She asks when she realizes she’s the only one who’s shared her origin story tonight. “Childhood superhero dreams?”

Jake shines up like he’s been waiting for the question all night. “Oh, that’s easy. Die Hard.”

“Really?”

“For sure. Actually, my mom said I was always good at protecting people, so I ended up doing it for a job. But I think that’s bullshit. It was definitely Die Hard.”

“I’ve never seen it,” Amy confesses, and Jake stares at her like she just insulted his entire being. “But if you want a cop movie, my top three’s Training Day, Lethal Weapon, and Fargo.”

“Wrong, wrong, and wrong! How can you not have seen Die Hard? It’s classic, man!”

“I just never did! How many lawyer movies have you seen, then?”

“Uhm…” Jake squints. “Charles made me watch Legally Blonde once? It was pretty good, honestly.”

“Well, duh, that movie is a cinematic masterpiece and a feminist work of art. How feminist is Die Hard, from a scale of one to ten?”

“Hey! Holly Gennaro does plenty of cool stuff throughout the movies! You’re just going to have to watch them yourself.”

“I can almost guarantee you I won’t.”

“Fine, but you’re missing out.” He grabs a couple of peanuts from the jar between them, throwing them in the air and catching them in his mouth. “Cool trick, right?”

Amy raises an eyebrow. “Is this what you do at work all day?”

“I did teach myself that during stakeouts, but no. Whatever. Throw me another one.” She does, and he catches it again, this time almost sliding off the barstool in the process. She laughs a bubbling laugh as he does it another time. “Now you.”

“Fine. Try me.” The peanut flies through the air between them, and she tries to dive for it, but it just ends up landing at her feet. “Okay, another one.” She misses that one too. “Okay, there must be something wrong with these nuts.”

“Title of your sextape.”

“Title of my what?”

“Nevermind.” Jake laughs. “You just need some practice. Maybe at work? It could liven up a trial.”

“Nuh-uh, don’t need practice. Just need a better tactic.” Without thinking, she grabs a handful of them this time, throwing them in the air. This time, she catches a few of them in her mouth, while the rest end up spread over the couch and floor. “The key is volume!”

“Yeah, and the bartender is looking at you like he wants to kill you, so maybe don’t do it again or we’ll get thrown out.”

“It’s fine, I’m a lawyer.”

“That phrase works well to get out of trouble?”

“If you know what you’re doing. We could order more drinks to keep him happy?”

“Shots?”

“I’m down if you’re down.”

 Jake orders a Kamikaze shot for each of them, and as she reaches forward to take the second glass, her hand brushes against the top of his for a moment longer than necessary, resting there. It’s warm, and it feels calloused but somehow soft at the same time. They look at each other, his light brown eyes staring into hers, and she feels instantly hyper-aware that they’re around far, far, too many people.

She lets go of his hand, taking the shot and swallowing it before anyone can notice what’s happening. It smells like sour hand sanitizer and burns going down, and she laughs at Jake’s grimace when he drinks his.

“God, every time.” He shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair. “Hey, I know this is crazy, but… do you maybe want to get out of here? We could have another drink at my place… watch Die Hard… whatever.”

“Mm, yeah. Maybe I should check that the shirt gets back to your place properly?”

“Shirt? What shirt? Oh, right, fuck, the shirt!” Jake spins in place, rushing back to the table where they were just sat. “Shit, I probably spilled beer on it, Sophia’s going to be pissed now...”

“It’s still in the bag, smartass.” Amy shows him. “Ta-da. Shirt’s still clean. Comes in handy being type A sometimes, huh?”

Jake sighs. “I know you're making fun of me, but I could seriously kiss you right now.”

 Maybe it’s the four drinks, maybe it’s the thrill that comes with how rarely she does this, or maybe it’s just sheer and wild impulse, but Amy finds herself whispering,

“Maybe we should get out of here, then.”

 ~

 Amy learns a lot of things that night.

 She learns that Jake Peralta is a seriously good kisser, tasting faintly of orange soda beneath the alcohol and salt, and that being pressed against his front door with his hands protecting her head strikes the perfect balance between feeling adventurous and safe. She learns that he’s never really quiet, soft moans and sighs filling the room in the breaks between their kisses, but that the sound only makes her want more.

 She learns that he wears even more layers than her. Beneath the leather jacket and hoodie is a checkered blue flannel that has way too many buttons for her liking right now, and she curses her slight tipsiness while working at them one by one. When she's finally done, Jake pulls the grey t-shirt over his head, and she barely has time to pause to admire how he somehow can look fit despite that catastrophic diet, or the curls on his chest that are begging for her to run her fingers through them, before he's asking “my turn?”. She learns that Jake Peralta is impatient, that his hands work fast on the buttons of her cerise shirt, and that he gets adorably confused when he can't find the button on her suit pants.

“It's on the side,” she tells him and shows him the zipper, and then they're both giggling until she kisses him like that and it's back on again.

 She learns that his hands feel good, sliding slowly up the sides of her stomach and back and rubbing against her shoulder blades. She unclasps the white t-shirt bra for him, smiling to herself as he swallows quickly.

“God, you’re hot,” he whispers, and the soft bites he trails down her chest and stomach make her feel that way, too.

 They move to his bed, leaving a trail of clothes behind them, and then she’s underneath him and breathing hard as his mouth moves lower, closer. The anticipation of it all is driving her mad, but then he looks up at her and asks “okay?” with the most sincere and caring expression, and Amy’s had very, very few one-night-stands in her life, but she’s certainly never had one like this.

“Okay,” she nods, and there’s that familiar grin again, but this time it makes her feel warm in a very specific place.

 She learns that Jake Peralta can do a whole lot more with his mouth than talking people’s ears off. His breath ghosts over her through her underwear at first, warming her up even though it’s barely even necessary, and then he’s finally pulling down the black material and helping her kick them off. His tongue is careful at first, just tasting her as if to gauge her expression, but then she nods at him to continue and the next second, her head is thrown back as she lets out a gasp.

 She learns that he likes it when she pulls his hair. At first, her hands are just lightly tangling in it for practicality, but then she holds on tighter as a means of control when her legs begin to tense up and the familiar pressure is starting to rise. She’s raising her hips slightly only to lower them again, helping him get her there, and the curls of his hair are just begging to be pulled.

“Do that again,” he pauses to say, so she tugs his hair harder and he straight-up moans.

 She learns that he can make her scream, which she wasn’t expecting, and she rocks through the euphoric waves and pants and practically melts into the bed as she comes down from it.

“That good?” He winks, and she wants to roll her eyes, but he did just make her come harder than she remembers doing in a long time, so she kisses the smile off of him instead, tasting her arousal on his lips.

She learns that he's respectful and a gentleman, telling her that they can stop this here if she'd rather, but she doesn’t want to, and they don’t. He has to rifle through the drawer in his bedside table for a while before he finds a condom – maybe he doesn’t do this as often as she’d thought, maybe it’s another sign of his poor organization skills, but he finds one soon enough so she’s not sure she cares – and then it’s a little bit of a blur, but she rolls it on him with precise strokes and lowers herself on top of him and oh my god.

 She learns that when he looks at her, when he touches her, it makes her feel powerful and special all at once. He plays with her boobs as she sets the pace, his thumbs rolling against her nipples in a way she didn’t realize she liked, and she picks up her rhythm, clenching around him and leaning back on his raised thighs.

 She learns just how enjoyable it is to watch him fall apart underneath her. His pace stutters and he curses, groaning a confession of how close he is, and she could almost come again from watching him alone but she brings two fingers to her clit and touches herself anyway. He finishes before her, spilling out inside the condom with a moan that she can only imitate, collapsing against his chest as she brings herself to orgasm again right after him.

 When they're done learning, they collapse together in his bed. For a moment, Amy considers turning around and calling a cab home, because that would be the most responsible thing to do, but then Jake throws an arm around her to pull her closer, and after all, she's still a little tipsy.

What harm could it possibly do, anyway?

 ~

 Sharp, unforgiving morning light wakes Amy up before her alarm the next morning. She must have forgotten to close the blinds last night, she thinks, and rolls over on the other side so the light doesn't hurt her eyes. She expects the usual greeting of a sea of pillows, and has to stop herself from letting out a yelp of surprise when instead, she's hit with a wall of Jake sleeping with his back to her. A vague memory of them falling asleep like this hits her. He’d wanted to be the little spoon, she remembers.

 At first, knowing that intimate fact about him makes her feel proud. Then it makes her panic.

 She jumps out of bed, throwing off her part of the comforter in search of her clothes. She finds her underwear and bra together with her shirt, trying to dress as quietly as possible, quick before Jake wakes up and discovers that she's half-naked in his apartment and they have to have a very, very awkward talk –

“Amy? What are you doing?”

Too late.

 She freezes on the spot, chewing on her lip as she fumbles for an explanation. Jake’s eyes rake over her with curiosity, which somehow feels a lot more exposing today than it did last night, and it's making her lose track of her words. His bed head curls and disoriented smile is decidedly not helping her focus.

“We slept together last night,” she manages.

Jake’s smile grows wider and prouder as he sits up fully in bed. Amy blushes as she notices the shadow of two hickeys way too close to his neck to be professional.

“Yeah, I was there.”

“Very funny.” She sees her pants thrown across the back of a massage chair and quickly reaches for them. “But this… You know this can’t be a thing, right? Just so we're on the same page about it.”

Jake frowns. “What do you mean with a thing?”

“This – us – we can't date, Jake. I know that. You know that.”

He’s silent for a moment before he fakes a shudder. “Yeah, yeah, no. I’ve dated lawyers before. Never ends well.”

“You have?” The reveal surprises her. “It doesn't matter. This can’t happen.”

“I know.”

“Good,” she exhales. “I’m just going to find my clothes, then, and then I’m going to leave.”

“Hey, wait.” He twists his hands together, bringing them to his chin with a smile. “This is going to sound weird, but… even if nothing can happen between us, I’m still glad we had sex last night.”

 The confession takes her by surprise, and Amy wonders again if she just doesn't know anything about one-night-stands. Sleep together, have fun, sneak out in the morning before anything can go deeper – isn't that how it's supposed to go? If so, she's majorly failing, because she can't stop herself from giving him another shy smile in return.

“Me too. Just because, we were like… really good at it.”

“Stupid good!” Jake exclaims. “It makes no sense!”

“We still can't date, though,” she reminds him. “So how do we work this out?”

“Well, it sort of looked like you were planning to just leave, and I’m not going to stop you if that's your choice, but… there is one more option.”

“What are you thinking?”

“We could be friends with benefits,” he shrugs. “None of the commitment, none of the weird incompatibilities between a cop and a lawyer, just us and some stupid good sex.”

“Friends with benefits? Do the kids really say that, still?”

“I’m saying you could consider it.”

 Amy's first instinct is to protest, to say absolutely not and leave on the spot. Her relationship history may not contain that many names, but at least they’ve all been fairly straightforward and conventional. She's never done something like this before, and the mere idea of jumping into something so unknown with someone like Jake scares her shitless.

 Then again, she's also never been with someone like Jake. Yesterday hadn't been a date, but it had still been better than all the awkward dinners and half-hearted walks she's been at since she broke up with Teddy a year ago. And the sex – well, she'd be lying if she said she wasn't already thinking of doing that again.

 “There would need to be rules,” she says.

“Sure, we can come up with some.”

“I’ll write a contract.”

“We need a contract?”

“Yeah,” she decides. “If this is going to work, we need a comprehensive set of rules, and they need to be written down, because I don't trust you not to adjust them in your head last minute.”

“How am I attracted to you? But, fine.”

Amy shakes her head, closing the last button on the shirt that had been left unbuttoned until now. “So… I’ll put together a draft and bring it over tonight? Your place?”

Jake gapes at her for a moment like he can't believe what he hears, but then he nods. “I’m free.”

“Cool. I’ll see you tonight, then.” With that, she pulls on her socks and shoes, leaving before she can freak out again.

“Cool, cool,” she hears just before closing the door. “Friends with benefits. Cool, cool, cool, cool… cool.”

 ~

#b99fandomevents #b99 summer 2021 fic exchange #my writing #b99 #peraltiago #jake x amy #b99 fic #b99 fanfiction #jake x amy fanfiction #peraltiago fanfiction #MY FIRST AU PLEASE ENJOY #three more parts to come hahah but i'm only going to post one before the deadline #read on ao3 if you want line breaks since tumblr has ruined those

[peralta-guaranteed]

any post-prison hcs??

Only. So. Many.

post-prison Jake is one of my absolute, all-time favourite tropes in b99 fanfic, and god there is some good stuff out there. Obviously they couldn't touch no it much in the comedy show itself, but god, do I love people's galaxy brains about it all in their writing.

- he shaves the beard off immediately, like, as soon as his bag is on the floor of their apartment. He always wanted a cool beard, and now he never wants to see it again. Amy helps him foam up his face and giggles at all the intermittent beard stages he shows off (Harley biker style, muttonchops and moustache, 90s Guy Fieri style 'rim', and of course, the soul patch) and tries not to notice how sunken his eyes look or how gaunt his cheeks are underneath the now shaves beard. She makes him dino nuggets and fries for dinner instead, and orders pizza the next day, and has already got two bottles of orange soda in the fridge, and his face is back to its usual shining, bright, smiling shape again soon enough.

- he definitely has a form of PTSD after what he went through, though, and struggles with nightmares and insomnia at the beginning. Amy always wakes him up or is there to hold him when he wakes up by himself, but she never dares to tell him that he sometimes thrashes around while asleep, because she knows he's going to move into the tiny spare guestroom they have if he knew that he might accidentally hit her. (He never has, because she notices when he starts and keeps her distance or wakes him up, and she doesn't want him to leave their bed ever again after missing him for so long.)

- when he's at his lowest points, his mind always, always turns to the thought that Amy should leave him, because he has far too much baggage for her to handle. She shouldn't have to deal with this. He's voiced that opinion once or twice, and she was always shocked and assured him that nothing could ever be bad enough to make her want to give up on him.

- (he also often thinks about the ring hidden at Gina's that he got before prison, and is glad that Amy won't even entertain his stupid martyr thoughts for a second)

- he also has physical trauma left over from when the guards beat him several times, namely a hitch in his left shoulder that will lock up or spasm if he uses it wrong (Amy finds exercises to help him work it out), two false teeth that nobody knows about to replace the knocked out ones (Amy buys a special dental care set for him), and slight hearing loss in his right ear (he pretends it's from watching Die Hard on too high volume with headphones once, and Amy makes sure to sit on his left always)

- he does his best to be normal with the squad and jokes about his jail time and tells the most outlandish stories, and it definitely works, but they all sort of figure out there's a lot more hurt than he lets on:

- Rosa is of course in it from the start, in a way, because she's been there with him. She didn't get into any gang situations like he did, but she was in solitary far more often, and she doesn't like being alone with her thoughts now either. So when the overwhelming need to drink in silence overtakes her, she'll grab him first and foremost. One time they tried to chat about it and make light of the situation, but it failed immediately: "Man, did you also have those sloppy watery mashed potatoes?! That tasted like cardboard?" "Oh fuck yes, disgusting. Did your soap also smell like a dead man's asshole?" "Actually our soap was laced with Meth once and I accidentally used it but it's okay, the doctor said I wouldn't have any leftover effects if I don't use it again." "Oh." "Yeah." Silence. "They wouldn't let me use the shower at all when I was in Solitary. Seven days once."

- (it's not the first time he sees Rosa cry, but it's the first time she leans into him and lets him hug her close. And he never, ever ignores a phone call or text from her again, even if it's 2am or the middle of a holiday, because she should never think she's alone.)

- Charles finds him huddled in the evidence locker on one of Amy's days off, hyperventilating and unresponsive, and the only thing he can think of doing is get Terry. Which was a good idea, because Terry got special training in trauma responses and knows how to talk someone through a panic attack. And Jake thanks them both once he's calmed down again and stopped shivering and can stand up, but he never tells them what exactly triggered it, so they both keep a closer eye on him during any case he works now, and Charles buys some help books about PTSD to learn.

- Holt has read the report from the mandatory psych evaluation after he returned to duty, and knows about the ensuing therapy visits he requested himself. But it still takes him by surprise when he chews him out in his office for making some mistake, and raises his voice just a tad, and says something angry he doesn't even remember anymore while standing next to him, and Jake - flinches away. Raises his fists to cover his face, bents his back down to hide. There's a shocked silence in the room from both of them until Holt walks over to his chair and sits down. "Peralta, I am sitting down. At a reasonable distance from you. I will not-" He has to fight back several emotions "-I have no intention of hurting you whatsoever." Jake drops his hands and straightens his back and laughs as awkwardly as he could, staring at anything but Holt. "Well, I'd say my problem with authority figures has not gotten any better." He tries to joke, but Holt just pins him with a look of concern. "Take an early lunch with Santiago. On my costs. And please, under any circumstances, do not consider the option that I could ever want to harm you."

- None of them treat him any different after all that, though, because they know how much he would hate noticing that. They all just adjust to taking care of him (and Rosa) behind their backs, in a way. Terry will secretly inform whoever they're partnered up with if he thinks there might be something triggering for them in a case. Holt makes sure any application they have for whatever treatments they need go through immediately and without question. Charles is... well, Charles continues to be Charles, because he's always overpampered both his best friend and his old crush. Rosa and Jake themselves help pull each other out of deep ends during their cases, and comfort each other simply by understanding without needing to explain too much. Everyone in the precinct, even the beat cops and office workers, have Amy's number saved somewhere, because she's the only one both of them will respond to and be calmed by no matter what situation they're in.

#B99 #Brooklyn 99 #jake peralta #amy santiago #rosa diaz #the squad #headcanons #after prison

[i-think-i-can-speak-here]

I'm going to liveblog my reaction to the b99 finale because I really can't believe it's ending and I want to be able to look back at this and remember how it felt to watch it for the first time. Can you tell I'm super emo about this?

Reaction below the cut (spoilers, duh)

Alright, episode 9, let's go

FINAL HEIST??!! WE GET A FINAL HEIST 😭😭

Niko is crying in the closet lmaoo, come on Jake, you're a dad now, do better 😂

CAPTAIN HOLT OPENING THE SHOWER CURTAIN! Same vibes as that Halloween when he was in Jake and Amy's bedroom when they woke up

"Drowning you all in your blood" wow I love him 😂😂

And Rosa IS the official three time heist winner, everyone needs to accept it!!

How many times is Terry going to use the I am not playing tactic?

OMG INTERVIEW TO BECOME CAPTAIN OF THE 99??!!

"You cheated on me with another notary?" 😂😂😂

Oh my god, the bag of teeth 🤢

SLEUTH SISTERS TEAM FOR THE HEIST OMG

Cheddar is back!! And he has an earpiece??

JAKE'S LEAVING THE NINE-NINE WE ALL CALLED IT OMG OMG IT'S HIS LAST DAY TOO

"It's all I ever wanted to be... Until now" My fucking heart jesus christ 😭😭😭😭

Omg the intro reference!!!! "We were just getting falafel" 😂😂

A trip down memory lane... This is going to make me cry isn't it?

"It was going to be B99" 🥺🥺 We care Rosa!!

Caleb!!

Wuntch's grave! The balloon arch 😂😂

He tried to remake the Tell Me Why sequence, that's so Jake lmaoo

OMG THEY FINALLY SHOWED IT TO US THE TATTOOO KEVIN'S FACE ON CHEDDAR'S BODY OMFGGGG

Why was Rosa looking at it like she hadn't seen it before??

GINAAAAAAAAA AJDKAJFJAKKFKSKTL

"You're gonna regret the day you fired me" lmaoo Gina I missed you sm

What's going on here...? A fake office as part of the heist?? What about the captain interview though??

Rosa is such a badass, I love her so much, why is this show ending??

BILL'S BACK

Stick around, okay? 😂😂😂

Amy adopted a dog for the heist?!

Rosa, I'm disappointed in you even though I expected this

OMG DID TERRY ACTUALLY BLOW THE INTERVIEW THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING

PIMENTOOO

The first tie he ever bought, continuing game night with Rosa omg 🥺🥺🥺

Charles... His face when he found the resignation letter I can't, fuck I'm actually tearing up 😭😭

Episode 10, go on, break my heart even more

A tracker in his buttholes, jesus christ 😂😂

"He taught me the importance of being seen as human" 🥺

It WAS a part of the heist!!

Rosa and Pimento endgame? I did not see that coming at all, it's weird and I'm suspicious

Aww it's where they admitted they were best friends 🥺🥺

The Nikolaj pronunciation thing again 🥺😂

"WE'RE FANCY BEDSTE VENNER" 🥺😭😭

THE BINDER NECKLACE OMG FAMILYYY 😭😭😭

It's functional and she can correct them!!!

I don't know how much longer I can do this without crying

Oh shit the fireworks 😳😨

You've been in a coma for seven years? Really Amy? You're going to try to prank Jake?

TEDDY?! WHY?

Okay, I can't. The idea of Teddy being a father figure to Mac... Just no.

INSIDE THE FAKE BABY LMAO

TERRY KNOWS??

BINGPOT!!!

Thank you, I've always wanted to be chloroformed. That is such a Jake thing to say 😂

Jesus christ, stop with the proposals Teddy 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️

MELIPCLAYNOS! I was hoping we'd get to see him again!

Charles popping up in the backseat! What a throwback!

Scully? Terry? They're all here! Well, except for Rosa and Gina because airport. I'm not still not convinced about that part.

"I planned the perfect goodbye"?! A meaningful location, sentimental gifts, omg Holt 🥺🥺😭😭

Kevin was in on it!! Cheddar! Did the entire Cosner-Holt family win the heist? 🥺🥺

TERRY'S CAPTAIN!!! OMG OMG OMG

ROSA AND GINA I FUCKING KNEW IT!!

Throwback to Gina's fake teeth!!

It was weird that she'd want to get back with Adrian! "Whatever, breeder" Omg Rosa I cannot explain how much I love you! 😂😂😂

Fake again! "Your present to me is school?? I'm glad you're leaving" What a mood

Bill?! Wtf??

Oh no, they're all finding out about Jake leaving...

I'm going to cry, fuck, help

"I'm gonna kool-aid man us the hell out of here" YESSSS TERRY

HITCHCOCK!!! FINALLY!!

You're right Jake, this doesn't feel right 😂

"enjoy all of us being together one last time" Okay, okay, I am not fine.

CEMENT?? GINA WTF!! We can always count on you to lighten a situation 🥺😂

Amy and Rosa... The teary eyes, the voice cracks, the I love you's 😭😭😭

I can't tell if Gina was being real either lol

Scully and Hitchcock reunion 🥺🥺

Okay okay, I'm full on crying. The look at Amy before Jake said it wasn't a hard decision to leave, Holt saying Jake finally figured out how to grow up, Holt saying he would be so proud if he had a son like Jake, the robot impression, the "title of your sex movie", it was perfect.

He took off the name plaque at his desk 😭

So long, nine-nine 😭😭😭

Time jump?? I thought we were done!

JAKEEEE! CAPTAIN JEFFORDS!! HALLOWEEN HEIST?!!! HOLTTTT! DEPUTY COMMISSIONER RAYMOND HOLT!! AMYYYY! ROSAAAA! GINA?!!

We're in each other's lives forever, whether you like it or not! Hell yeah 😭😭

ONE LAST NINE-NINE 😭😭😭😭😭

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THAT FINALE WAS EVERYTHING I HOPED IT WOULD BE AND MORE! HOW IS IT OVER?? IT CAN'T BE OVER 😭

Alright, I’m going to calm down a bit and go rewatch it lol

#b99 #brooklyn 99 #b99 season 8 #b99 spoilers #brooklyn 99 spoilers #b99 finale #brooklyn 99 finale #b99 finale spoilers #b99 season 8 spoilers