#if they have hidden struggles that's between them and their loved ones and their therapist

[jq37]

Just to throw my two cents on the Rat Grinder discourse: They weren't worth the Intrepid Heroes' time. We didn't get the full picture of what's going on with the Grinders until the last quarter of the season. Before that they were just this other clique that hate the main characters, so in-character why would the Bad Kids bother giving them so much attention when they've got so much of their own crap going on. Kristens quest to get Cassandra back and her presidential campaign, Gorgugs courseload, Riz's million and one plates that he's been spinning all season, Adaines financial problems, Figs curse and her doubts about what she wants to do with her life. Fabian's the only one who might have had the time, but he had to be Maximum Legend. There genuinely was no time or even an incentive on the IH's side to develop the Rat Grinders characters.

I still think it's fucked up that these teenagers got taken advantage of by adults they trusted, but we didn't learn any of that until we only had two roleplay episodes left. Too little too late to even try anything diplomatic even if they didn't spend all their time after the Last Stand in hiding.

And a thing about Ivy that no one is roasting her about and really should: An elven archer? Really? Wow, never seen that before.

Yeah totally. Like, from a meta level, I see where the players themselves could have been more curious about the Rat Grinders. There are obvious plot threads that could have been teased out there (though, in fairness to the cast, the adult manipulation aspect didn't become clear until way later in the season--the rivalry and foil aspects were more obvious). This final confrontation could look really different if they'd played that all the way out all season.

But in character? The Bad Kids really didn't have a good reason to waste time on the Rat Grinders. They came into this school year already burnt out from their Night Yorb quest and wanting a break. But they don't get that because they immediately are beset by problems they have to deal with--Kristen's god is on death's door from neglect and she's on the brink of expulsion, Riz is running himself ragged trying to boost his resume for college, Fig is having a whole ass existential crisis, Adaine is struggling with money issues she doesn't want to talk about, Gorgug is taking FOUR YEARS of school at the same time, and Fabian is multiclassing and dealing with his empty house/not having parental support (or Cathilda's support) for the first time. They are dealing with SO MUCH high stakes, personal stuff before the plot even kicks in. And, mechanics-wise, this is represented with the downtime system that means that any time they spend on the RG's is time they can't spend on something that matters more to them. IMO, not prioritizing your haters is actually pretty mature. Like, they weren't proactively using their free time to bully them or anything (except for arguably Fig). They were snippy with them when they crossed their paths and that was it. As opposed to the Rat Grinders who literally had to be told by Jace to stop antagonizing the Bad Kids (though they must have been pretty ineffectual at it because the Bad Kids hardly noticed, which I bet stung considering they were so obsessed).

And also, it's not like they didn't try at all with the Rat Grinders. Early Insight checks on Kipperlilly just got, "This is a polished steel orb of a personality" which doesn't sound very worth interacting with in a sympathetic way if at all and then the next big thing they learn is that she had hated Riz since Freshman Year and that she wants Riz and Kristen dead. And that's AFTER we saw her smile and kill her party cleric. In their position I'm not spending further time trying to empathize with this person, I have made my judgement and it's up to the Jawbones of the world to find if there's something in there to be rehabilitated.

And that's not the only case. Adaine straight up saved Ruben from disintegration during the Frosty Folk battle when she easily could have saved the spell slot, but that didn't soften him towards the Bad Kids any. Adaine also was really keen to Scry on the Rat Grinders to find out what was happening at their meetings. But, in scene at least, she was never able to do that so we never got a scene of them, huddled together, clearly unsure about the path they're on but not feeling like they can walk it back or say no to the authority figures in their lives. She didn't get anything humanizing that would cause her to rethink their position on them the way that she did with Aelwyn for instance. So why would they think they're anything but gleeful co-conspirators?

Hell, the one RG Adaine was even slightly curious about was Oisin and now we know that he was feigning interest in her which, man, can you imagine how much worse that would have felt if she'd actually taken the bait and pursued him beyond just thinking he was cute? Of course, it's possible that her interacting with him more along with some good charm rolls could have changed the narrative in some way but we can only go off of what we know to be true in canon and those facts are (1) He tried to get closer to Adaine while actively planning the downfall of her and her friends, (2) he (along with Ivy) was mean to Buddy behind his back while tricking him into a plan that would force him to go against his religious beliefs, and (3) he called his KVX related dragon ancestors to try to kill the Bad Kids and endanger the entire student body population. Three strikes, you're out. If I'm a Bad Kid I'm not super interested in whatever else is going on with him. And again, literally all of Adaine's friends (except Riz) gave her help to do an Insight check on him during their confrontation in the hallway so she was looking for something there worth engaging with, but she didn't get much.

Fig was fully doing CIA, MKUltra, Fantasy Geneva Convention violations on Ruben to try see if she could get information or flip him. I think she did it in an objectively insane way so I'm not entirely shocked that it didn't yield the exact results she was looking for. But she never found the smoking gun (or whatever the opposite of that is) in his head that would absolve him/show the Rat Grinders were being controlled and her messing with his dreams never flared his conscience enough to make him try to break free (as far as we know) which is what I assume she was going for. If I was Ruben looking for a way out but scared of the repercussions, I might go to Adaine who saved me from certain death earlier the same year and has helped saved the world 3 times with her party and their friends in high (and low) places. Maybe that's what Fig thought might happen but it didn't so from Fig's POV? Gave him a chance. Time to start blasting. And again, at that age, if I walked in to the first day of class and the first thing this random boy does is sneer at me and flaunt his musical success, I'm popping up on his Nemesis Alert at that moment. Doubly so after he tries to trick me and my friends into doing drugs so we get expelled. I'm surprised she tried at all with him.

Fabian absolutely tried to interact with Ivy--in large part for self interested reasons of course, but that doesn't change that he did it. And she came across as callous and unkind from the jump. Their final conversation before the latest episode is the one where she talks about wearing Mazey like a sweater and then says that Fabian missed his chance with her before stalking off. That's a pretty open and shut interaction. No way 17 year old me is like, "Hmm, but why is she acting so mean? Perhaps I should examine that more closely to further understand her." Nah, I've decided she sucks.

And Kristen has tried with Buddy literally up until the last moment. She rolled an Insight check on him right before the fight started and she got a 1. She got nothing from him.

Mary Ann is actually the only Rat Grinder who hasn't done anything to make a bad impression on the Bad Kids--the only thing she did was have a really good Bloodrush tryout. So no reason to hate her specifically (and, in fact, she is also the only Rat Grinder that at least half of them are positively obsessed with), but no reason to explore her further. And Kristen still tried giving her a stuffed animal and her response was that she already had that one and that she was going to give it away. What are they supposed to do with that?

Even when they tried, they didn't get information that was worth chasing when they were so busy and had to manage their free time. Gorgug didn't even slot in downtime to talk to his bio parents when they visited. Why would he spend any time on Mary Ann to figure out her deal? Maybe if they were given more explicit opportunities to interact with them in passing. If Mary Ann was shown at Bloodrush Games. If during class time Oisin tried to interact with Adaine. If Kristen ran into Buddy and Bucky talking. If any of their forays into talking to them or looking into them yielded anything actionable or that piqued their interest--they opened the door for Brennan to give them something more than once. But they never got anything that was worth investing more of their limited time into.

(And also, they didn't learn that Porter was involved until WAY into the last quarter of the episodes. Which absolutely could have changed things since, as far as they knew the RG's were working alone to raise this god which isn't crazy for them to think because Kristen literally did that last year and it was of her own free will. If they knew early that the RG's were smaller players in Porter's plot then maybe they would have been in more of a rescue mindset--especially since Fig has always mistrusted him--but that's not information they had and by the time they got it, the RG's were in deep hiding, like you said.)

And so, coming into the last few episodes, that's who the Rat Grinders are to the Bad Kids. A group of kids who they first heard about in the context of, "they famously hate you," even though they'd never interacted before. A group of kids who they already thought sucked even before they tried to kill the entire study body an hour ago. A group of kids who are trying to doom all of Elmville to eternal rage and who are willing and ready to kill them to do it.

With that context, yeah I think their actions are pretty understandable.

(Also, lmao. Yeah, I think calling Ivy basic would probably hurt her more than most things you could say to her.)

#asks #farmer-10 #dimension 20 #fantasy high #d20 #spoilers #d20 spoilers #dimension 20 spoilers #dimension 20 fhjy #fhjy #and they knew the rage crystals existed for a while #but they had no reason to believe that the rage crystals are a thing that happened *to* the RG's #rather than being a thing that they're doing to others #so like yeah I totally get it wishing that they players had delved deeper into their whole situations #that's the fun of narrative foils after all #but I don't think the bad kids themselves handled this situation unreasonably #when ppl rub me the wrong way/are rude to me irl I avoid them #if they have hidden struggles that's between them and their loved ones and their therapist #and if I was a bad kid after such a stressful year even if I heard their tragic backstories at this point I'd be like #cool motive still murder

[petr1kov]

i already made a video on the topic so i might be repeating myself, but the release of these recent silent hill projects make it impossible for me to not think about how much this franchise struggles with defining its identity. and for as much as i love silent hill 2, it's kinda its fault for muddying the waters on what a silent hill game was supposed to be 'about', since it is the one game that popularized this notion of the 'therapist town'.

twisted projections of the worst parts of someone's mind have been a cornerstone of the series since the first entry, where we are forced to experience alessa's nightmare, but it's a notably different approach than that of the second game, starting by the fact that it's a deep dive of someone else's mind, not the protagonist's - a formula that repeats itself most notably on silent hill 4, with walter's character being the sources of the projections, and even silent hill 3, where we are split between heather and claudia's versions of the otherworld.

in these games, we spend a good chunk of the game with our player characters as confused spectators of a horror that is connected to them, sure, but bigger than themselves. it is that contrast that made silent hill 2 stand out back when it came out, in fact. finding out that what we were experiencing stemmed from james himself instead of other characters around him was a genuine twist, not the forgone conclusion that it became these days.

in reality, what i believe has always been central to the identity of the silent hill games and that has been sorely neglected on basically every title that has been released after 4 (no doubt because of this belief that silent hill /needs/ to be about a tortured protagonist discovering hidden truths about their lives) is the occult. the genuine surreal supernatural elements that complement the metaphors. the cult and the gods and the otherworld and the psychic powers. and that's something that even silent hill 2, the game most disconnected of this aspect of the series out of the original four, still recognizes and approaches in direct ways. that's what makes maria such an intriguing character, especially on born from a wish, and there's even an ending where james tries to engages directly with elements of the cult of the original game, attempting to perform a ritual of rebirth on mary.

i feel that later silent hill titles feel almost ashamed to engage with these elements directly, preferring to lean heavily on the metaphorical aspects of it in order to downplay the weirdness of the occult in the series, but in doing it that, you end up stripping it of something that's essential to it, that gives the series its distinct flavor and, worse of all, end up with very samey, predictable stories that try and fail to recapture the magic of silent hill 2

#silent hill #like take sh1 and sh4... those are literally about some guy put in situations. nothing more. the weirdness and mystery sells it #and where's the mystery in a game where you know the protagonist is always projecting their trauma and etc etc #that's why i'm giving silent hill f the benefit of the doubt so far bc i think it's the one most likely to lean on the occult

[highpriestess13]

Collective Reading!

Y’all know there’s a conjunction happening this Saturday right? On 4/20 👀👀. Let’s get into the energies happening for you guys on this day!

For starters, I see someone making a clear decisive decision to let something go and step into something new. I feel this may be between you and someone else, water and air energy… possibility of fire as well. Someone may have went into a connection with someone or gotten married and now someone may be having either doubts, there may be a lot turbulence or someone just wasn’t who they said they were. If that’s the case, I see a settlement or a divorce happening or this may be 2 people deciding to get help like a therapist or marriage counseling. However I do feel like someone is choosing to communicate that something may not be working out so there’s an ending to a relationship whether romantic or platonic. I’m not sure if someone is bipolar or constantly has mood swings, I also feel like someone has too much going on emotionally, so prioritizing the right things will help someone regain balance. So this Saturday, you may see a lot of divorces, breakups whether it’s your personal experience or others.

TRAVELING! I see some traveling for you guys, for some this may be for work. If it’s not a literal travel this could be a shift/ change of mindset. This shift will gear you towards focusing on your bag. You’re releasing the past and not letting it get to you or stop you from achieving certain goals for yourself. It’s also giving entrepreneurial energy. If this isn’t you, this is someone possibly coming towards you that have these qualities or energy. Or they may be a guide to you in some way. 666 is confirmation and I’m also getting “allow for things to happen”. This motivation is going to stem from the past like someone transmuting old energy into new energy.

On Saturday… there’s someone dealing with inner turmoil or inner demons however you may look at it if this is you. There’s still pent up anger, trauma, negativity. Someone could be feeling like a loner, this may be due to either power struggle OR abuse of power. Either way I just feel you separating yourself from anyone and anything that’s toxic and unhealthy for you or that may bring up past trauma/ triggers. If you’ve been feeling triggered a lot, it’s time to look within a figure how to maneuver around it or through it so that you don’t cause harm to others and yourself. 99 and 44 are confirmation. Heavy on keeping yourself protected and guarded from devil like energy so that your energy doesn’t get mixed up.

Someone from a spiritually gifted family or this may be meeting/ choosing your soul family or tribe. This could be your ancestors as well. I see celebrations and recognition for planting a fertile ground for your current or future family to thrive in especially on a spiritual level. The seeds took time to grow and thrive and it took a lot of hard work, dedication, ups and downs but you got it done and your ancestors/ spirit guides are celebrating you. They’re definitely happy with all of the progress you’ve made… could’ve been for the last 7 years, give or take for some. There’s still more work to do because you have such a huge responsibility and this is why they love and respect you so much because even when things get rough and tough and too much to handle you still keep going. Some of you could be catching a break or taking a much needed one so vacations are on the horizon. “Dedication” is what I’m hearing.

I see some emotions coming back to the surface. Whether it’s fears or something that’s been hidden in the subconscious for some time. I’m hearing “lying dormant”. If things begin to resurface for you at this time, it’s because you’re needing to face them so that you can properly heal and align with the energy. Be gentle with yourself and others and show some compassion.. being harsh isn’t going to do any Justice for your now anyone but being gentle will.

There’s an argument bound to happen between 2 people possibly men. We have fire and air energy. Whoever this fire sign is, they’re going to be the one to attack first while the air sign keeps themselves grounded and strong minded and not entertain the other person’s approach… if that makes sense. I feel like this fire sign is upset because a female may have chosen the air sign make. With this situation, faith is being restored. Someone is leaving behind certain rules on how something should be and just going with what they want. I’m also seeing someone being a divine messenger as well.. Moses is significant too.

#fypシ #tarotcommunity #tarot cards #tarot reading #tarot #fypage #tumblr fyp #tarot reader #daily tarot #pick a deck #tarot divination #tarot of the day #divine messages #dailymessage #tarot deck #divinity #divination #message for the collective #free readings #free tarot #fyp #general readings #general reading #tarot spread #tarot spreads #collective reading #pick a card reading #pick a pile #pick a picture #pick a photo

[kingofbodyrolls]

Coming Home (m) | PJM | Epilogue

← previous | s.masterlist | s.masterlist |

Summary: When your best friend, Park Jimin, who you’ve had a crush on since forever, suggests you stay at his house to heal and find yourself again after a series of traumatizing events had haunted you for years, you don’t hesitate to accept. Within those walls, a safe haven is woven, where wounds can heal and memories find release. As he nurtures your shattered spirit, an unexpected intimacy unfurls, leaving the fragile barrier between friendship and deeper emotions in question - can you keep your feelings hidden?

Pairing: Jimin x reader (female, “Y/N”)

Other characters: Yoongi, Hoseok, Seokjin, OC (female, she is the therapist) and another OC (male, he is the perp). Also readers parents and mention of Jimin's.

AUs: Best friends to lovers!au, detective!jimin Genres/themes: thriller/dark, yandere vibes, slice of life, healing after trauma, angst, smut and fluff.

Rating: mature/explicit/R18

Word count: 5,3K

Disclaimer: I do not own BTS or know them personally and this work of fiction is purely fictional and for entertainment purposes only. The actions and personalities described in the story do not reflect those of BTS— it’s just fiction. Also, if you would kindly read the tags/warnings before reading, that would be lovely: and if you don’t like whatever is described in the tags, just hit return and find something else to read. Thank you 🌸

Warnings: Explicit smut, kissing, cuddling/spooning, unprotected penetrative sex (stay safe - OC’s on the pill), slice of life, healing after trauma, BIG feelings, protective, fluffy and sweet Jimin, he is just soft and loving 🥹

Disclaimer about warnings: I know nothing about sexual or physical abuse (I only know psychological because I experienced that, not in a sexual context though). This story is fiction, I do not mean to say that this is how one would go through their emotions or handle this situation. This is a delicate and fragile subject, so proceed with caution. I also know nothing about police work or the work in emergency/hospitals. 

Also, I don’t own BTS or know how they would act in a similar situation. This story is purely fiction, a fragment of my imagination. They just inspire me so much 💜

Cross posted to AO3!

Taglist: @thelilbutifulthings

With the capture of the perpetrator, the weight that had loomed over your life like a persistent shadow should have been lifted. 

The threat was gone, the danger subsided, yet an inexplicable unease still clung to your heart. The ordeal had left scars that extended beyond the physical realm, and even though the world appeared safer now, the echoes of fear lingered in the corners of your mind. 

Stepping out into the public domain did offer some relief, as the open spaces and bustling crowds served as a reminder that you were no longer being watched, that the eyes of the perpetrator were no longer fixated on you. 

But the invisible chains of anxiety and trauma proved harder to break, leaving you struggling to embrace the newfound freedom.

In the midst of this turmoil, Jimin had emerged as your steadfast pillar of support. His love for you seemed to shine even brighter in the aftermath of the ordeal. 

Every gesture, no matter how small, was a testament to his devotion. His warm embraces provided solace, his soothing words acted as a healing balm, and his unwavering presence brought a sense of security that you craved. 

As you navigated the uncharted waters of recovery, his actions spoke volumes. His insistence on making you feel cherished and safeguarded demonstrated his commitment to helping you heal, piece by piece. 

Even the suggestion of a couple’s retreat - a space where both of you could disconnect from the outside world and reconnect with each other, reflected his understanding of your needs.

The decision to book the retreat for the upcoming weekend became a glimmer of anticipation, a beacon of hope that promised serenity and a fresh start. Jimin’s thoughtfulness in organizing this escape showcased his unwavering love, a reminder that he was by your side, willing to venture into the journey of healing together. 

As the days passed and the retreat started to blossom within you, fueled by the love that Jimin showered upon you - a love that had the power to mend even the deepest wounds of the soul.

In your psychologist’s cozy office, the safe space where you could unravel your thoughts without reservation, you found yourself grappling with emotions that seemed stubbornly persistent. 

The sessions had become a refuge, a place where you could articulate the turmoil within you, even if the words felt inadequate to capture the complexity of your feelings.

Sitting across from Chin-Sun, you hesitated for a moment before finally expressing your confusion. The logical part of you recognized that the ordeal was over, that you were safe now, yet the emotion remnants refused to be neatly tidied away. 

You confessed your longing to feel fine and restored, a desire that contrasted starkly with the lingering unease. Her response, though comforting, carried the weight of time. 

The promise of gradual healing felt like a distant horizon, a place you yearned to reach but couldn’t see clearly just yet. As the words left her lips, you absorbed the truth that recovery wasn’t a linear path, that it entailed both patience and persistence. 

But even amid the uncertainty, there was a glimmer of hope. Her assurance that, in time, you would regain a sense of ease in your day-to-day life acted as a reassuring beacon. The thought of stepping into a future where anxiety no longer held dominion over your every thought was a vision you clung to, a vision that fueled your determination to push through the lingering discomfort.

With each session, you uncover layers of emotions, gradually unraveling the complex web woven by trauma and fear. Chin-Sun’s words became a steady guide, reminding you that the path to healing was as unique as your journey through the ordeal itself. 

And as you navigated the ebb and flow of your emotions under her guidance, you found solace in the belief that, with time and the support of those who cared for you, the shadows of anxiety and fear would eventually give way to sunlight of healing and newfound tranquility.

As the weekend unfolds, you find yourself at the threshold of a new chapter in your journey to healing. The anticipation of the couple’s retreat was a mix of excitement and trepidation, a concoction of emotions that accompanies you on the drive towards the coastal haven that awaits.

The journey itself was a symphony of melodies and laughter, a playlist carefully curated to match the journey’s rhythm. 

Jimin’s lighthearted banter wove a tapestry of comfort, a reminder that you were embarking on this adventure together. The miles between your home and the retreat melts away beneath the wheels of the car, replaced by a sense of togetherness that only grows with every passing moment. 

And then, as the tires crunches on the gravel path leading to the retreat, a new vista opens before you. The sun slowly begins to paint the sky with hues of gold and tangerine, mirroring the warmth that emanates from within. 

As you checked in and received the key to your room, the promise of respite beckoned like a soft melody.

Entering your cozy haven for the weekend, you were met with a sense of comfort and sanctuary. The king-sized bed, invitingly adorned with soft linens, seemed to promise restful nights.

The windows framing the beach were like portals to serenity, the sound of waves a gentle lullaby that seemed to whisper tales of healing and renewal. 

The en-suite bathroom, the closet, and even the mini fridge held a promise of convenience, ensuring that your stay would be as enjoyable as it was peaceful.

The allure of the beach was irresistible, beckoning like an old friend ready to envelop you in its soothing embrace. The soft rhythm of waves breaking against the shore was a symphony that set the pace for the evening. 

Hand in hand with Jimin, you venture onto the sandy canvas, your spirits lifted by the promise of carefree moments ahead. The sun’s warm caress was a gentle reminder of the joys of summer, and as you settled down, the grains of sand molding to the contours of your bodies, a sense of tranquility settled over you. 

The world beyond the shoreline seemed distant, leaving only the two of you in this intimate cocoon of relaxation.

As you lay back, the ocean breeze carrying whispers of salt and adventure, you find yourself immersed in a gentle conversation. Stories flow like tributaries merging into a river of memories, laughter punctuating every anecdote. High school escapades and college misadventures were shared like treasures, creating a tapestry of moments that bound you even closer. 

The sound of the waves seemed to echo the rhythm of your hearts, each beat a testament to the connection you share. 

As the sun begins its descent towards the horizon, casting long shadows along the shore, you exchange glances that speak volumes. 

The love and comfort that you had found in each other’s company was a treasure that had been unearthed, a gift that was now a part of your journey. And as the waves continued their eternal dance, you knew that this day, this time together, would forever remain etched in your hearts.

The echoes of laughter and the gentle crash of waves followed you as you left the beach behind, moving towards a quaint local restaurant nestled in the heart of the town. Its welcoming lights flickered like fireflies in the evening sky, drawing you closer to a promise of culinary delights and shared moments. 

The restaurant’s ambiance was a blend of cozy charm and a  touch of rustic elegance setting the stage for a memorable evening. The aroma of freshly prepared dishes wafted through the air, tickling your senses and stirring an eager anticipation within. 

As you settle into your seats, the soft glow of candlelight illuminated the menus before you. Each bite is a symphony of flavors, a fusion of artistry and passion that delights your taste buds. 

The richness of the red wine compliments the meal, enhancing the experience with its velvety notes. Between mouthfuls, you exchange glances that speak a language all you own; a silent acknowledgement of the shared contentment that fills the space between you.

The evening air is crisp and invigorating as you step out of the restaurant, your fingers instinctively entwine as if unwilling to let go og the connection that binds you. 

The town is alive with the gentle hum of its nightlife, a backdrop to your leisurely stroll back to the retreat. The world around you seems to fade into the background, leaving only the two of you, cocooned in a bubble of timelessness.

With every step, every shared smile and whispered word, the love you felt for each other seems to amplify. The moon cast its silvery glow, lighting your path and lending an ethereal quality to the night. 

The way your breaths seem to synchronize, the way your fingers interlock, it is as if the universe is orchestrating this moment, recognizing the profound bond that you share. 

As you enter your room, the echoes of the day’s laughter and shared stories seem to linger in the air. The curtains dance with the gentle breeze, casting intricate patterns on the floor, a reflection of the intricate journey you had undertaken together. 

And as you settle in for the night, the soft rustle of sheets mingling with the beating of your hearts, a reminder that in each other’s arms, you had found a safe haven, a place where your eternal love could flourish. 

The room was silent except for the sound of your beating hearts. You sigh and feel Jimin press his warm body into yours, spooning you tighter. 

You relish in his hold and let out a soft moan, while you try to calm your racing thoughts. You feel so loved here in his loving embrace, and you realize that you want him like this for the rest of your life. 

He presses his crotch into your ass, and you feel his growing erection grind into you. 

A deep groan escapes his soft plush lips as he rolls his hips against you sensually. Wetness begins to pool between your legs and you squirm as an involuntary moan leaves your mouth. Fuck.

“Can’t sleep?” he asks innocently in a teasing voice, giving another delightful roll of his hips to your ass. Fuck, the duality of this man, you think as you chuckle and moan in frustration.

“Not with that hard dick of yours grinding on my ass,” he moves to hover over you, looking you straight in the eyes, his breath already ragged. 

He leans down, locks your lips in a tender and sweet kiss and then makes a slow and forceful grind with his dick to your clothed cunt. In search of release you arch your back and moan his name hungry for more.

“Take this off,” he tugs at your shirt, well his shirt. 

You shimmy into a seating position, as he sits on his knees and helps you get rid of the offending piece of clothing, leaving your naked breasts for his eyes to soak in.

“Fuck, you’re so gorgeous,” he sucks in a breath and licks his lips teasingly. 

You feel more of your arousal soaking your panties at his pleasing words.

He pushes you lightly down again with a smirk lacing his lips as he looks just about ready to devour you whole. “You’re not that bad yourself” you laugh wholeheartedly, catching his attention as your boobs jiggle. 

He makes another grind to your pussy and your chuckles are immediately replaced with a growl of his pretty name. He lets out a pleased sigh and smiles, before he surges down to your neck, sucking lightly. 

Nipping at your neck, he leaves small marks in his wake as he slowly descends down your tingling body.

He kisses your collarbones, licking his way down to one of your breasts. He licks around it playfully, before he captures your hardened nipple in a swift motion. He teaks and pinches, making you moan the prettiest noises as his dick twitches inside his boxers. 

For a minute or maybe two, he played with your tits, squeezing them together, flicking and sucking.

“Jimin, ah!” you whimper as you run your hands over his tensed abdomen. He kisses down your soft stomach, venturing down to your throbbing pussy. You feel his hot breath on your clothed core, as he licks his lips before sliding your panties off.

“So fucking wet for me, huh?” his eyes are sinful, as he checks out your cunt, before diving in.

He pinches your clit with his thumb and index finger, “So swollen I can almost feel it pulsating.”

With his pretty, plush lips he wraps around your clit and sucks it into his mouth, twirling his tongue around it, while his hands slip under your ass to hold you closer to his face. Then he moves down to your slit, fingers stretching you open as he laps at your folds. You feel delirious, your juices slowly running down. 

Your hands find his beautiful head of soft black hair, and you pull on it as he eats you out like a man starved.

Slurping noises fill the room, making your pussy clench in anticipation. 

The more he sucked or touched you, the wetter you grew. Removing his tongue from your core, he sits up, appreciating the view. By the lack of contact you let out a frustrating growl. 

But you don’t have to wait long before he inserts his index finger into your throbbing cunt. You hiss and clench at the contact, but relax the following second as he slowly starts pushing his digit in and out of your pussy. 

With your wetness, the glide is easy and it doesn’t take long before you are used to the intrusion of his finger inside of you. His one finger reaches deep inside your cunt and you moan in pleasure as he watches you close your eyes, throwing your head back into the mattress.

You begin to feel the pleasure building in your stomach and for a moment your toes begin to curl, “Shit! I’m almost there, Jimin–”

The second finger he adds, gives you a slight stretch and you feel your breath hitch. He hums, pleased, as he starts pumping his index and middle finger in and out of you, slow at first. 

As you moan his name and curses leave your mouth unabashedly, he picks up the pace more as your noises spurs him on. It’s not long before he adds a third finger, and you arch your back at the stretch, but Jimin places his other hand on your stomach, pressing you down to the bed. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” you whimper as he begins to fuck you harder, fingers slipping in and out of you. He scissors you open, pulling out and searching for your sweet spot when pushing in again. 

As the pads of his fingers tickle and press on your sweet spot, you mewl.

He dives back down to your clit, starts sucking as he fingers you at a fast pace. 

You feel your body tighten, your vision going blurry and you close your eyes as you come undone to a moan that sounds awfully like his name. You huff for breath, as Jimin keeps lapping and fucking you slowly with his fingers, helping you ride out your orgasm. 

“Fuck” he growls as he removes his fingers, taking them up to his mouth, licking each digit dry of your slick juices. 

You leave out a dragged out groan, “Fuck, that’s hot” and feel your pussy throbbing again.

He removes his boxers, freeing his raging hard cock, giving it a stroke as he throws his head back while letting out a soft moan of your name. 

You lick your lips and reach a hand out to touch his dick, but he swats it away, “Sorry babe, but I desperately need to be inside you. You can suck me off later.” 

You don’t want to be one to complain, when you already feel a new flood of arousal drenching your pussy, mixing with your earlier orgasm and his saliva. He gives his dick another stroke, as he looks deeply into your lust filled eyes.

When he braces your folds, you gulp and let out a delicious moan. As he drags himself further into your warm hole, he pants in your ear. You shudder and roll your eyes back as his lustful sounds send tingles down your spine.

You grab his biceps, as he pushes himself all the way in, making you feel so fucking full. 

“It’s so good, Jimin!” you whimper as your hands clench tighter around his biceps. As he drags his cock out and then back in, he hisses in pleasure. 

“Damn, you still feel so tight” he growls  as he sets a slow pace, fucking you tenderly, as he looks at you with hooded eyes. 

“Faster, Jimin,” you pant as he picks up the pace and starts fucking you faster. 

He drags himself out, only to push back into you with so much force you feel his hips dip into your ass. You feel delirious as he begins to hit your g-spot repeatedly, making you breathe like you just ran a marathon. 

Sweat beads at your hairline, and you notice sweat dripping off Jimin's handsome face. He pants and moans your name, as he fucks you deeply.

“Fuck, Jimin! I, I-” you begin, panting hurriedly. He slows the pace down for you to make a coherent sentence.

“Do you want to come on my ass?” you manage to ask him, albeit shyly as you feel your face turn beet red as a blush settles.

He stops his motions for a second, looking at you endearingly and he chuckles at your sudden shyness, “Fuck yeah”. 

He pulls out of you, and for a moment you feel so empty, as you turn around, on your hands and knees, stinking your ass in the air towards his slick cock.

You push yourself back, with one of Jimin’s hands on your ass and the other on his dick, he guides you back onto it. 

He enters your pussy without much discomfort, but you do feel a slight stretch at the new angle and you can already feel him hit inside you deeper. 

Your head falls down on the bed, droll pooling at your mouth and running down to the sheets. He picks up at a fast pace right from the get go, hands on each side of your ass, as he thrusts deep inside you.

“Jimin, I’m coming!” you moan his name as you feel the knot in your stomach about to snap. With one hand, he finds your clit, pinches it hard, then rubs it in circular motions. 

He alternates between quick and slow, and it's making you go crazy. Your chest moves up and down, as you heave for air, face pressed to the sheets and hands clenching around it.

You feel your vision blur as your orgasm overtakes you moments after he begins to touch your clit. Your tight walls close around him and he feel his own orgasm tethering dangerously close and he knows that if he wants to cum on your ass, he has to fucking pull out now. 

But he wants to stay a bit longer inside your warm pulsating cave, as you ride out your orgasm.

“Fuck!” he yells as he pounds into you and then he pulls out and strokes his dick and releases his semen on your ass. 

You jiggle your ass teasingly, and he grabs some of your soft flesh, squeezing it in his hand as he gasps for air as he rests his throbbing dick on your ass.

You feel so utterly tired that you collapse on the bed, so out of breath. Your body feels tingly and spent. You turn to your side as you watch Jimin follow suit and fall down beside you, with his back to you.

“You have a tattoo?!” you almost shriek, but your sore throat makes it sound more like a whimper than anything else. He chuckles and nods his head into the bed. 

Why haven’t you seen that before?

 Instinctively, your fingers begin to trace the contours of his spine, his delicate tattoo etched into his skin like a secret map. Three moon phases line down his spine, and they almost glisten under the soft ambient light of the room. 

“Do the moons mean anything significant?” you ask as your fingers keep tracing the ink. 

“Yeah. They each represent a meaningful chapter in my life” he turns around to face you, and captures you in a chaste kiss. 

“Turn back, I wanna look at it again” you say as you poke him in the shoulder to get him to move around. As he turns his back to you again, your touch lingers over the tattoo, the significance of its design tugging at the strings of your heart.

You trace the first moon, on the top of his spine, closest to his neck. “That one is of the moon’s phase the very first day we met in kindergarten,” a nostalgic smile tugs at your lips, as you trace the crescent of that first moon, your minds remembering your beginnings, the days of shared crayons and laughter in the playground. 

Your hand then travels to the second moon, more pronounced and radiant. 

“That one is of the moon’s phase on the day in high school I realized I had feelings for you,” a rush of memories floods your mind, the playful teasing and stolen glances that had marked the awakening of something deeper. 

The tattoo seemed to capture the essence of that realization - a confession of feelings that had simmered beneath the surface. 

And finally, your fingers land on the third moon phase adorning his skin. 

“That's the day that I became a police officer”. It represents the day he had chosen a path of courage and responsibility. The weight of that decision, the commitment to safeguarding others, was etched into the ink, a mark of dedication that mirrors the love he has for you.

As you traced the contours of each moon, it was as if you were tracing the trajectory of your lives, the shared milestones that had shaped you into the people you were today. 

The tattoo was more than an artwork; it was a testament to the depth of your connection, a tangible embodiment of the love that had blossomed against all odds. The moon phases held a mirror to your journey, each one reflecting a facet of your shared history. 

The innocence, the awakening, the unwavering devotion - they were all there, etched in indelible ink. And as you let your fingers linger, you realize that this tattoo is part of him, a part of you, and a part of the beautiful tapestry you have woven together. 

It’s a reminder that even in the darkest of nights, the moon still shone, casting its gentle light on the path you have and will walk together.

Amid the gentle lapping of the waves and the soft rustle of the night breeze, an unspoken tenderness envelops you both. 

The atmosphere seems to shimmer with an almost palpable sense of affection, your fingers intertwining and tracing his moon tattoos as the conversation flows effortlessly. With each word exchanged, the layers of your relationship are peeled back, revealing vulnerabilities, dreams, and reflections. 

The notion of having done things backward danced into the conversation, a thought that had crossed your mind more than once. You share how you felt that maybe, in another universe, you could have come together sooner, avoiding the pain and suffering that had marked your past. It is a sentiment laced with regret, a tinge of what-ifs.

Jimin’s warm gaze, however, held a different perspective. He listens to your words, his thumb brushing tenderly over your hand as he prepares to share his thoughts. 

“You know,” he begins softly, “I believe that every step we took, every twist and turn, brought us to this exact moment. Maybe it wasn’t the path we expected, but it was the one we needed.” 

You feel tears pool at your waterline by his soft spoken words.

His words resonate with a quote of wisdom, a profound understanding that speaks to the intricacies of your bond. 

He goes on, his voice carrying the weight of his emotions, “And as much as I wish you didn’t have to endure what you did, I also believe that it’s part of what makes you so incredibly strong, so resilient. It’s a testament to your spirit.” 

With every syllable, he seems to weave a tapestry of reassurance, affirming that even the darkest chapters have a role to play in shaping your love story. 

And then, in a moment that leaves you truly speechless, he produces a ring, a delicate masterpiece of metal and gemstone that glints in the low lit bedroom.

Your heart skips a beat, as he looks into your eyes, his voice steady and brimming with affection. 

“Y/N, you’ve shown me a love I never knew was possible. You’ve been my rock, my partner and my best friend. Will you marry me?” the words hung in the air, the weight of his proposal settling between you like a cherished promise. 

Tears gather in the corners of your eyes, shimmering like dewdrops under the moonlight. 

A surge of emotions overwhelm you, and as you nod, words escaping you, the tears finally spill over. 

You reach out to him, your arms wrapping around his naked body in an embrace that holds the universe of your feelings.

The kiss that follows feels like a culmination of every shared laughter, every tear wiped away, every hurdle overcome. 

The ring on your finger feels like a circle binding your past, present, and future together, a symbol of the love that had weathered trials and emerged stronger.

 And in the quiet harmony of your hearts, you both know that this is just the beginning of a new chapter - one where your love, tested and unwavering, would continue to grow and flourish.

The following day greets you with a sense of tranquility, a feeling that seems to linger from the beautiful moments shared the previous evening. The sun baths the world in a gentle glow, casting a warm invitation to embrace the day ahead.

You and Jimin had decided that today was all about relaxation and release. 

The tension that had built up over months, the weight of past trauma and newfound joys, all deserved their own moment of acknowledgement and release.

The luxurious spa you enter seems like a haven of serenity, a space designed to envelop you in a cocoon of calmness. Soft, ambient music hummed in the background, and the soothing scent of essential oils filled the air. 

You exchange knowing glances as you change into plush robes, ready to let go of the worries that had become far too familiar.

The skilled hands of the massage therapist work their magic, kneading away the knots of stress and worry that had taken residence in your bodies. 

With each press and stroke, you could feel the tension slowly dissipating, replaced by a sense of ease that was long overdue. As you lay side by side, lost in the world of tranquility, you could almost hear the sigh of relief echoing between you. 

It is as if the very act of being pampered is a balm for your souls, a way to acknowledge the challenges you’d faced and celebrate the triumphs you’d achieved.

After the massages, you emerge from the spa like new beings, your steps lighter, your expressions more serene. 

As you make your way back to the retreat, a quiet understanding passes between you. The intensity of your experiences had deepened the bond between you, making the simplest moments feel profound.

With the gentle caress of the breeze on your skin, you settle down on the patio of your suite, where a table is set for a delightful lunch. 

The azure expanse of the ocean stretched out before you, its rhythmic waves serving as a reminder of the ebb and flow of life itself. The delicate clinking of glasses and the murmur of the waves intertwine in perfect harmony, creating a symphony of relaxation. Plates adorned with delicious dishes are placed before you, a feast that mirrored the nourishment your relationship had provided in recent times. 

As you savor each bite, the laughter that punctuates your conversations feels like a melodic thread, weaving through the tapestry of your shared experiences. You speak of dreams, future plans, and even the silliest stories from your childhoods. 

In a quiet corner of the world, where the whispers of the ocean and the rustling leaves seem to compose a symphony just for you two, Jimin’s heartfelt words weave a spell that transcends time itself. 

As you sit together on the beach, your fingers entwine and your gazes lock, the weight of the past mingle with the promise of the future. Jimin’s eyes hold a mixture of emotions, a kaleidoscope of regret, determination, and most importantly, an unwavering love that has stood the test of time.

His voice, soft yet resolute, carries his feelings to your heart with each word. 

“Y/N, I’ve loved you all this time,” he confesses again, his eyes glistening with unshed tears as he looks at the ring dorning your finger. 

“You are the love of my life, the one who’s been etched into my heart since that very first moment we met” there is a tremor in his voice, a vulnerability that lays bare his soul. 

The frustration of not finding you sooner, of not being able to protect you from the darkness that had clouded your life, weighed heavily on him. 

He isn’t just apologizing for the lost years; he is acknowledging the pain he’d felt for every moment he couldn’t be by your side.

“I regret every moment we were apart, every day I couldn’t hold you close,” he continues, his voice gaining strength as he channels his emotions into his words. 

“But from now on, I promise you, Y/N. I will cherish you like a precious gem, protect you like a shield, and love you with everything I am.” 

With each promise that flows from his lips, it is as if the very atmosphere resonates with his sincerity. The waves seem to whisper agreements, and the wind carries his vows to the universe. 

This moment, under the expanse of the sky and the watchful gaze of the stars, is a testament to the unbreakable bond that had weathered the storms of life. 

As if Jimin’s declaration hung in the air, you can feel the power of his love enveloping you, creating a cocoon of warmth and safety. 

Tears well up in your eyes, not out of sorrow, but out of the overwhelming beauty for this moment. You reach out, cupping his face in your hands, your thumbs wiping away the stray tear that has escaped from his eyes.

“I believe you,” you whisper, your voice a gentle affirmation that echoes the depths of your own feelings. “And I love you too, Jimin. With all my heart.”

His smile, a mixture of relief and pure joy, is like a sunrise after a long night. He leans in, his lips meeting yours in a kiss that carries the weight of the past and the promise of the future. 

And as your lips touch, it is as if time itself paused, giving you both the chance to savor this moment; a moment that holds the culmination of a love that had traveled through time and adversity to finally find its place in the sun.

Author's note: Gosh, I just had to add Jimin’s moon tattoos (in a variation, I know) into the story. Because damn, he looks good with those beautiful moons on his back 🥹 Also, I hope the story wasn’t complete shit - I did enjoy writing it and have more planned (ones with lighter themes. Anyone up for a roadtrip/camping trip with Yoongi? 😝).

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#bts smut #jimin fanfic #jimin x reader #bts x reader #bts fanfic #jimin smut #reader: female #au: best friends to lovers #au: slice of life #au: police #vibe: smutty #vibe: dark #vibe: angst #vibe: fluffy #coming home series

[palossssssand]

c and i for any of your guys!

banger ask. I'm going to do this for All of my guys

C) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?

Gingull: Both yes and no. "Yes" in that she's the main character, or at least, the story would be from her point of view and revolve around her. "No" in that I've been struggling to pinpoint exactly how her personality is and how she interacts with everyone else. I want to make relationship dynamics interesting. Maybe I'll make a chart.

Alfin: He's very much a designated "support character" in that he's Gingull's sibling and is the closest to her, but other than that I feel like he doesn't have too much of an active role other than being a presence and a part of Gingull's world. I'll have to workshop him a little more because admittedly he's the character that I'm least invested in.

King: As a parental figure for Gingull, how he plays off on her is pretty important on understanding her decisions and general worldview and etc. I think she has an overall positive relationship with him, which is a little different than my personal experience, so I'd like to explore how to make this more complex and how King influences her arc. He's in the same boat as Alfin where he individually probably won't drive the story forward but is an integral part to Gingull.

Moberry: This is where things get more interesting, Moberry possibly plays one of the most active roles in the "plot" of slug city in that their dynamic with the city's leader, Maika, affects nearly every other character on various ways. I'm particularly really into the results of these interpersonal interactions and dynamics having consequences. I love The Consequences. Maika is a character that doesn't appear much physically in the context of the story and the city in-universe, so Moberry serves as the bridge between him and the "outer world" through their personal experience with him. They also serve as the leader of the hidden underground, so there's a parallel going on between them and Maika.

Smooks: I love smooks so much. Easily one of my favorite characters and designs. Her role in the story is less "plot related" and more "worldbuilding and imagery" related, if that makes sense? The main tower, many buildings, and the vehicles are all mainly designed by her, so I want to play around with the implications from that. Is transportation useful and convenient, or is it disabling? Was this from Maika's influence? Her own internal concepts? Much to think about. She plays an interesting role in the background for sure and I think would be a fun adult figure for Gingull to look up to.

Dr. Walworth: Her current role is "character who worked closely with Moberry and also has guilt about her involvement with Maika" and is also a therapist for Delta. There's some implications with her role that I feel like I need to flesh out more, for example, if therapy isn't a "licensed practice" due to the nature of the city's organization being so aggressively anti-mental health, is it hidden? Does she make her services known to the general public? There's a lot of questions I have to jump off from there, including the fact that she herself is autistic and therefore was unknowingly contributing to the detriment of citizens like her. Like Moberry, she's actively trying to make up for the damage done, and I like exploring that sort of character arc.

Delta: She's probably my favorite character to think about. Initially, she was the "soldier with ptsd" archetype that I kind of wanted to stray from and develop more, and then eventually brought in the idea that she was responsible for bringing Gingull in to their machines, and then turning around and rescuing her when the machine malfunctions. As far as Gingull is concerned, Delta is part of an oppressive and violent force and wants nothing to do with her, the flip side is that Delta has been seeking an Out from the military and feeling increasingly trapped by it, and the machine malfunctioning was her breaking point for her to actively rebel. Gingull doesn't know any of this, and even when she does, there's no forgiveness involved with it. I'm like. so interested in her arc in that she is both a victim and perpetrator in her system. the tension of it. it's so juicy to me. There's so much that I want to think about for Delta. Any other character, if put into her position, might have done the same, or at least understood why she kept under wraps for so long. What are you supposed to do when you feel like you have no choice in what you can do, no impact on the circumstances, and knowing that what you are doing is ultimately wrong?

Oster and Co: Oster and his alters are very much side characters, similar to how Alfin in there to give Gingull relationships. Oster is there to flesh out the underground city community on Moberry, Dr. Walworth, and Smook's side. He's also there to be a friend to Gingull, someone who is a little older but still a kid, so there's solidarity there and also as an example/contrast for living with some kind of accommodation. Alka, Kaola, and Teris (alters) I'm not entirely sure how they fit in, but at the very least they're going to switch fairly nonchalantly. I'm wanting him to have a more major(?) role in the story but I haven't thought about this character in depth enough for that.

Eidwinn: He's pretty much stayed the same as I was thinking about his role initially; someone who isn't connected to any of the other characters personally except for Gingull, and the brief moments that they share end up having a profound impact on both of them. I talked about this a little more in the previous ask, but I'm really attached to Eidwinn, so I don't mind that his role in the story is fairly small. Something about the contrast between Eidwinn and Gingull (young and old, someone who still has their life ahead of them vs someone who's lived through much) works so well with how they are fundamentally very similar people and were both impacted by Maika's project. I love having parallels.

Maika: Very obviously the Main Antagonist, responsible for everything that's I've talked about regarding the previous characters. Originally, I had him as a more flamboyant, appealing villain character, and stepped down from that because it really didn't seems to fit in with his goals and role as the city's leader and opted for a more serious, cold, cutthroat character. The thing to understand about Maika and that I want to come across is that his desire to do good for the citizens is guided by a misunderstanding of what people actually need, going off of his own idea of what's best, and what was once a genuine effort to make a great city was overtaken by his curiosity about like. Conditions. and what he could do to fix them. I'm wanting to dig a little more into his motivations and in the context of slug city's world as a whole, culturally. I might have typed this out in a different post or just forgot but I want to think about if his mindset is a product of other dominant schools of thought in slug city society, or if there was any particular event that set off this obsession and whatnot. I'm wanting to steer clear from "this guy is completely irredeemable" or imply that he's intrinsically "evil", not to deny that he fucking sucks and that his actions have consequences on Everybody. I think the dynamic between him and Gingull is interesting, in that to him, Gingull is fairly unremarkable and he isn't aware of her until much later when she ends up breaking into the tower and seeing him in person. To Gingull, it's extremely personal, he's the man who built up(or at the very least, enforced) the system that she's suffered under.

I) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?

Yes, but also I drew them as splatoons just for funsies

I have a tendency to just draw existing characters as species or crossover from other media, so there's like a nonzero chance that I'll draw the cast as Something sometime down the line. It's definitely not going to be any fully fledged AU that I think hard about conceptually (who knows. I might be lying. I'll never know)

list of slug city characters question list

#my art #my ocs #slug city #long post #gingull #alfin #king #moberry #smooks #dr. walworth #delta #oster #alka #kaola #teris #eidwinn #maika #i love having thoughts. oh man #I hope this is interesting for everybody to read! this is just me like. talking a lot so it may or may not be coherent

[thekristen999]

Eddie was on the floor, Buck beside him, murmuring and soothing. And it was all too much. The realization of it all.

How fucked up Eddie was, how much guilt and shame and self-loathing he’d built up around him, imprisoning him. How he shoved it away so far and so deep, it had no choice but to seep through into everything else.

“Eddie. Talk to me... ”

“I’m sorry,” Eddie’s voice cracked.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

But didn’t he? Or was that part of the problem?

He wiped at his face, his cheeks wet, his limbs like jelly. Eddie couldn’t help the tears, the way his chest heaved and shook. Out of control and bare again.

Buck pulled him close and Eddie accepted it, all of it, latching onto Buck, taking solace in his strength, in the love and affection and support.

“I’ve got you,” Buck whispered. “Always have, always will. We made that promise to each other.”

Oh, boy. This scene is from Hold The Pain, Release Me.

This was an accumulation of all the previous scenes in the story which at it’s core is about Eddie’s therapist sending him to someone who specializes in art therapy. Eddie has buried years of trauma, he’s internalized his own needs, forced into roles where he needs to be the strong one, and other types of learned behaviors.

In neuroscience and in trauma therapy, we learn that our brains get hard-wired into negative thought patterns, which creates this negative thought-depression loop. And Eddie’s coping mechanisms are also on this negative-loop of burying/ignoring his emotions. 

PTSD patients, in this case Eddie, sometimes have a hard time expressing themselves or putting into words how they feel because they’ve never known how to before. Art helps process traumatic events in a new away without forcing patients from re-living experiences. Not to mention it can help people process sensory-memories while proving this feeling of safe distance.

In the story Eddie has been given a series of assignments to help him channel his feelings. Journaling. Writing a letter to Shannon. Jotting down his thoughts whenever he’s feeling upset and tying to balloons to be set free etc.

When he begins painting, he’s thinking too hard on how to ' make art’ and finally accepts that it's okay to just put paint to canvas, to give in to whatever his fingers want to do. 

 He’s on his eighth painting which pre-leads to your selected passage.

It’s starts off here:

Over time, Eddie really got into painting. He liked playing with colors, swirling them around on the canvas, watching them change. His mountains were large and sprawling. Sometimes he’d add trees or bushes, splotches of green. 

After the sixth painting was done, he invited Buck over one night when Chris was at a sleepover. Eddie cleared out the dining room and put plastic all over the floor, wearing a t-shirt and raggedy pants that could get messy, and the two of them went to work. No words spoken between them, both focused on their canvases Buck a flurry of motion then stillness.

Eddie made brush stroke after stroke, never really stopping to think or question, going with the flow. His mountain was sharp and ragged with thick layers of gray, tons of black, the sky a thin strip of blue. It was a sprawling fortress of granite and stone. 

And when Eddie took a step back to look at what he’d created, it hit him, what had been hidden inside, what had been struggling to get free. He was finally able to visualize his sadness and anger.  

:

And this is where he’s finally releases his emotions. Everything all at once and believe me when you finally allow yourself to let go—it's fucking powerful. It’s like a damn breaking -- which leads to the scene where Buck comes in and holds him after what is years of suppressed emotion.

Wow. That was lengthy. I'm sorry!

For the pick up to 500 words from one of my stores and I'll post a DVD commentary on it.

#eddie diaz #meta #9 1 1 on fox #buddie #kristen999writes

[rachelbee100]

So…. Do you think this UC assignment will trigger an actual relationship between Tim & Lucy?

I am struggling with the whole “secret” aspect of that idea. To me, having a secret relationship is out of character for both of them.

Yes, I know that Lucy/Nolan were “secret” back in Season 1, but I would think that would deter her from doing again. Having “secret relationships” is not a habit she should want to form.

And with Tim being so rules focused, I think he would really struggle with that.

I think the UC assignment churns up serious what if questions and ignites their desire for one another, which leads to awkwardness and wanting, sidelong glances, etc. such that whatever causes Tim to get hurt retriggers him wanting to be with Lucy FT/out loud.

How do you feel about all that and what do you a) want to see happen vs b) what do you think will happen with them?

Thank you for the (very thought-provoking) ask! I’ve been thinking about it all day.

I think you could argue that Tim and Lucy have been in a secret relationship since their encounter with Isabel in the very first episode. Not a romantic relationship at that point, certainly. But I think there were tons of moments neither of them ever told anyone else about. Think of the look of surprise between Angela and Talia when Lucy revealed she knew about Isabel in 1x5. They’ve always had something only they know about, separate from their relationships with everyone else. Then there’s the bigger things, like him inviting her to spend the night at his place (and that moment in his living room), and the way she comforted him about his father (I’m guessing their friends don’t even know she’s met his sister). How Lucy finally ended up being Tim’s aide. The audiobooks. When Lucy seduced Tim with a backstory.

Somehow they became the people who knew each other best (when Tim knew Lucy wasn’t really okay; when Lucy always knows how to support Tim). And yet they’ve always managed to keep that kind of hidden: (except for Nyla, Jackson, and I suspect Nolan, who have all seen feral!Tim firsthand, and Grey who is just all-knowing) everyone thinks Tim is just protective of Lucy because he was her TO (I guess?), and they assume Lucy gets Tim because of her psychology background.

So that’s what we see. Now, my theory is based on the idea that Lucy and Tim would never divulge their feelings to anyone, so, apart from dream sequences and maybe a trip to Jackson’s grave or talking to Kojo (all of which seem pretty melodramatic), they couldn’t tell us clearly where they’re at.  But that doesn’t necessarily mean they aren’t totally on the same page after the kiss (I like you, you like me, and we *will* end up together). (Side note: the show I’ve seen this style in most clearly is La Reina del Flow, where they had to introduce a therapist character just to give an excuse for the heroine to reveal her feelings for the hero because otherwise it would have taken 45 episodes for us to find out.)

So I think they’ve probably already broken up with their insignificant others (honestly I imagine Lucy dumped Chris on Mother’s Day). I think they know they will be together, and it’s only a question of when. Will they hold off on everything until she’s promoted to detective? Or will they allow themselves to be together before then but keep it a secret? Given their chemistry, I’m going to bet on the latter. Especially because I don’t think they’ll be able to put the genie back in the bottle after getting to be affectionate undercover.

Now here’s where it gets dicey. You say a secret relationship would be out of character for both of them, but I disagree. 

Lucy loves UC (and her hot-for-Tim characters), and so I think sneaking around with Tim would be kind of exhilarating for her. And Tim feels like a kid around Lucy (think about the pranks and bets), so I can see him enjoying it too. The issue is, because he feels like a kid around Lucy, I worry he might conclude that means it’s immature and therefore not serious. And if he feels that way I imagine he’d be very sensitive to the fact that she’s never been in a serious romantic relationship before (which I imagine Chris might bitterly divulge at some point, or even Nolan, thinking he’s helping), and he could suffer some real doubt. To me, this is the main issue they will have to work through.

Oh and if Tim rescues Lucy again, that could be very tough too. He was so uncomfortable about her saying he saved her from the barrel, and I think he would suspect any feelings she had toward him were simply displacement. So here’s hoping Lucy will be the one rescuing Tim instead.

I don’t see undercover work as an issue because I think Lucy will decide it’s not really for her and also that she’s too high profile for it to be a good idea. And let’s face it, roleplaying with Tim will be a hell of a lot more satisfying, and you know he’ll be down. In the words of Nova, I think they’ll have fun 😉

So I hope that answers your questions. I acknowledge there’s a possibility I’m totally wrong about where they are on their feelings realization, and if that’s the case I’ll be pretty bummed. And if they cheat I’ll be more than a little disappointed. But we’ll have to see, no use borrowing trouble.

#chenford #tim x lucy #the rookie

[stormyoceans]

monica watches » the eighth sense

summary: ji hyun, a new student from a peaceful rural town, struggles to adjust to the bustling city life of seoul. one night, he meets jae won, who has just completed military service, and the attraction between them is palpable. when ji hyun joins the surf club to get closer to jae won, their relationship deepens.

details: BL, korean, 10 episodes, ~30/40 min each

content warning: talks about trauma and depression, transmisogyny

available on: Viki

what i liked:

chemistry levels so deranged they got walter white gagged

both jae won and ji hyun are incredibly complex and fascinating characters who go through enormous change and are wonderfully portrayed by im ji sub and oh jun taek respectively. the romance also felt organic and well developed, and i like how naturally they fell into it despite the bumps in the road

there's as much focus on the friendships as there is on the romance and i really like that jae won and ji hyun both get to have other important relationships outside of each other

the female characters in the show truly shine and are the hidden strength of the story: from yoon won to ae ri, from ji hyun's boss to jae won's therapist, all of them play a vital role in the main characters' lives while still having their own agency and personal struggles. even eun ji, as villainized as she is, feels more well rounded than the typical 'evil ex girlfriend'

probably one of the best depictions of mental health issues i’ve ever seen portrayed on television. they dealt with jae won’s trauma and depression with a lot of respect and care, showing that those are deep and complex issues that can actually affect you for years and that don’t just easily go away with some pills, but also that it is possible to work on them through therapy and to come out from those dark places. another thing i appreciated is that romance isn’t the magical solution that fixes it all, but the constant support ji hyun gives him is still shown as an important factor in jae won’s recovery and i think that’s really important  

while the show has an indie feeling to it, it's still a very high quality production and is also visually stunning, with great directing and cinematography. i particularly loved how in the last four episodes the lighting is used to show how ji hyun literally brings colors into jae won’s gray world  

what i disliked:

the casual transmisogyny played for laugh at the beginning of episode 8 was frankly unnecessary and completely out of place to say the least

i wish we could have had a little more insight and closure on jae won's home life. since the beginning of the show, constantly brought up by tae hyung and other characters, there's this looming father figure casting his shadow over jae won from behind the scenes, but we don't really get to see any kind of development (for better or worse) in that regard. i know that, much like with jae won's trauma, it's not something that can be fixed right away, but i still would have liked to know a bit more about it

i have some mixed feelings about the editing here and there: some of it is obviously a stylistic choice and is done intentionally to represent a certain kind of feeling or atmosphere (like in episode 6), but even then sometimes it felt a little bit too choppy and confusing to me

notes: it's definitely one of the best korean BLs out there, highly recommended!!!!

#somehow im only getting worse at reviews ;;;;;; #guess i'll do unintentional love story and then decide what to do ;;;;; #the eighth sense #korean bl #monica watches

[xneontragedyx]

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Robert Weiss

Robert Weiss Ph.D., LCSW, CSAT

Love and Sex in the Digital Age

Relationships

Intimacy vs. Sex

Intimacy and sex are two different things.

Posted September 28, 2022 Reviewed by Hara Estroff Marano

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Key points

Our culture frequently conflates sex with intimacy.

It is perfectly possible to have sex without intimacy.

It is perfectly possible to have intimacy without sex.

Shutterstock, Fizkes

Source: Shutterstock, Fizkes

When a dear friend told me a few weeks ago that she and her spouse had been deeply intimate the night before, I naturally assumed that she was referring to good sex, which also helped explain her cheerful mood that day. And good for her. But hidden in my response was the oft-mistaken assumption that being intimate and being sexual are basically the same thing. In point of fact, they are not.

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Our culture frequently conflates sex with intimacy. But it is perfectly possible to have sex without intimacy. In fact, people do that all the time, usually by engaging in casual hookups, prostitution, pornography, webcam sex, and more. It is equally possible to have intimacy without sex. People do it regularly with friends, family, and even their long-term partners.

For an example of nonsexual intimacy, consider a conversation I recently had with my dentist of many years. In a quiet moment prior to my exam, he closed the door and said, “I understand you’re a sexologist, and I wonder if I could ask you an honest question about sex.” He then told me he was 15 years older than his wife and was worried that his age (and diminishing sexual interest/performance) might become an issue. As I am aging as well, this sparked an incredibly meaningful conversation—i.e., intimacy without sex.

What Is Intimacy?

Intimacy is the ability to be close, open, and vulnerable with another person. With intimacy, there is a craving to know and be known, to be honest, to develop mutual trust, to self-disclose, to be both independent and interdependent, to have respect and mutual appreciation, and to enjoy togetherness.

My colleague the anthropologist. Helen Fisher, known for her deep and meaningful research into relationships and sexuality, notes that intimacy is an expression of emotional connection that may manifest differently for men and women. She states that women typically express intimacy with face-to-face conversations, sharing sacred hopes and dark fears. Men, on the other hand, tend to express intimacy by playing and/or working side-by-side. With men, sharing about dreams and fears may occur but is often couched in “joke speak.”

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Such gender differences are generalizations, obviously, but on any given bell curve, they are quite accurate. In fact, we see them play out in real life almost constantly, especially in heterosexual relationships that are struggling for one reason or another. The male and the female both feel love for one another and deeply desire closeness and connection, but they speak different love languages. Thus, the message of intimacy gets lost in translation.

Is Sex a Part of Intimacy?

Without question, an important goal for most couples is to have emotional intimacy, as described above, with sexual connection serving as both an expression and extension of that intimacy.

That said, sex is not intimacy. Sex is what happens between our legs and with other sexual body parts. Sex can and often does occur in the absence of intimacy. Human beings, men in particular, are perfectly able to compartmentalize sex, separating the physical act of sex from the emotional act and expression of intimacy.

THE BASICS

Why Relationships Matter

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The good news here is that sex, as stated above, can be an expression and extension of intimacy. It can further a couple’s sense of emotional connection. More important, when a couple is feeling truly connected emotionally, sex can be super fun and blazingly hot. In other words, sex doesn’t always have to be in the missionary position while looking into one another’s eyes and saying, “I love you so much.” A quickie in the kitchen with no forethought or planning can be, in its own way, just as intimate.

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Our Need for Touch

Again, sex can be an important expression of intimacy. But it is not the be-all, end-all of intimacy, even of physical forms of intimacy. If we are too focused on the sexual act—achieving and maintaining an erection, achieving penetration, ensuring our partner has an orgasm, and the like—we can diminish the experience of vulnerability and closeness that we all crave.

Relationships Essential Reads

Blame the Dynamic, Not Your Partner

How to Be a Hopeful (Instead of Hopeless) Romantic

For many couples, taking an emphasis off actual sex and placing an emphasis on sensuality can restore a sense of physical connection as a furtherance of emotional connection. Sensuality differs from sexuality in that sensuality places a focus on all the senses. Thus, a couple can engage in backrubs, foot rubs, holding hands, cuddling, snuggling, and all sorts of other touch behaviors without having sex, receiving just as much intimacy and pleasure as when they have sex.

When you love someone, it's not about sex. It’s about connection. And any welcomed form of touch will further the feeling. If you are interested, there are countless “sensate focus” books and exercises that can help you and your partner experience and enjoy touch in new and exciting ways. Simply search the term “sensate focus” online, and you’ll find numerous resources.

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This is great news as couples age. The desire for sex may (and typically does) diminish with age, but our human needs to be vulnerable, loved, and touched do not. We need to care and be cared for. We need to comfort and be comforted. We need to feel emotionally and physically connected to our partner. But we don’t always need sex to be a part of that equation. Happily, other forms of physical connection can be just as rewarding.

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About the Author

Robert Weiss

Robert Weiss, Ph.D., MSW, is the author of Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating.

Online:

Seeking Integrity, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter

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[sableseb]

can i request a drunk sex with bucky please 👀 with him being dominating and rough towards the reader with some dirty talk or even choking kink 👀👀 thank you

This request has been sitting in my asks for a hot minute and it’s a crime really. I LOVE this. Thank you, anon😫 I’ve missed doing requests sooo much. I forgot how fun they are. Hopefully, I can get to the rest soon so I can open them back up🙈❤️

word count: 3.1k

warnings: smut, angst, use of alcohol, rough sex, dirty talk, choking, breeding kink 

tags: @meetmeatyourworst @greeneyedblondie44 @harrysthiccthighss @sparksforkoo @bemine-bucky @thewritingdoll @buckydaddy @buckysboobs @hallecarey1 @la-cey, @noorreads @floral-recs @ofherscarlettwitchways

You find yourself in Bucky’s practically bare apartment. Your skin is warm while your eyes swim. He broke out the alcohol to talk over. Catch up and whatnot. But, what started out as a few drinks and light hearted story telling quickly turned into something you knew you both couldn’t avoid for much longer.

As you sit at the small kitchen table, you can feel the frustration, the sadness that hangs between where you sit and the man across from you. Alcohol tends to do that. Makes you bare and open to conversations you most certainly shouldn’t be having while inebriated.

“Where did we go wrong?”

Bucky’s voice is thick, somewhat slurred. A mixture of hurt and the brown liquid he swirls in his glass. Where did you guys go wrong? He genuinely loved you. You loved him. The relationship was full of passion and adventure. It was bliss. Until one day, it wasn’t.

He became distant while you struggled to help him. How could you help someone who didn’t want to help themselves? You suggested he see a therapist, someone who can aid his damaged mind. He blew up. He couldn’t fathom that you’d say such a thing to him. 

It was a mutual breakup. It was clear that it just wasn’t the right time for either of you. You thought a mutual agreement to end things would be easy to move on from. You were so wrong. So, so wrong because he plagues your thoughts day in and day out.

Bucky Barnes is beautiful. His choppy brown hair with those deep, brooding blue eyes is something to be envied. His tiny nose and dimpled chin top everything off perfectly. And that mouth. God, that mouth. His lips are plump with straight teeth hidden behind them. The body he carries is sculpted with ridges and dips that look as if they were carved. Even the scars that surround his vibranium shoulder are laced with an intricate beauty.

He’s caring, smart, and passionate. But, behind all the good that is utterly James is someone who gets sad, angry, paranoid. He’s never been open about his past, but whatever he went through, it clearly fucked him up more than he’ll ever be willing to admit. 

“I’m not sure, Buck.”

“You think you’d ever give us a shot again?”

His eyes are glassy. Full of hope as he looks at you. Clearly he’s thought about this more than once. It makes your heart clench. You don’t know. You can’t possibly know at this moment in time because your mind is foggy and it’s all just too much. 

“Bucky, we should have this talk another time. Maybe when we're sober.” You stand, swaying a bit before searching for your phone in your purse. “I’ll get an Uber. Thank you for the nice evening.”

Before you can even pull up the app, his hand gently takes your phone to place it on the table. Bucky’s standing above you now. Close enough to where his cologne attacks your smell and makes you even more light headed. How you’ve missed his towering body and woodsy scent.

His palm covers your cheek as he angles your head back to look at your face.

“Stay,” he whispers. It’s a simple request. Sleep it off with him. You just can’t get yourself to. You’ve gone this long without seeing him. You can’t afford to screw up your progress. 

Progress. That makes you giggle inside because have you truly made any progress when he’s still all you think about? All you fantasize about on all those lonely nights under the sheets? 

“Stay.” He says again, bending down to trace his nose along yours. You let him, even lean into the warmth of his hand. His lips are close now. He dances them across your pout, his breath mixing with yours. 

“You know we can’t,” you croak.

“We can. One night with me is all I ask. Do you know how much I’ve missed you?”

“Buck-” 

“I miss waking up to you. Miss our late night dancing. Miss cooking for you. Our trips to the museum.”

Tears start to form in your eyes as he continues to ramble off all the things you both used to do, what you each did for each other. “And when I need to get off you’re the only person I think of. I get so hard picturing you underneath me. I miss filling you up every chance I get, doll.”

He’s not making this easy. Not in the slightest. You’ll both regret the sex along with the admissions in the morning. You’ll ruin what little independence you have from him. Can you really go back to crying behind closed doors to the thought of him?

Fuck it. You grab his face, smashing his lips against yours and your tongue instantly finds his. His mouth is just as you remember. Soft, skilled, full of need. His tongue invades your mouth as he frantically pulls your hips against his erection, grinding against you with a moan.

“Fuck me,” you gasp when you pull away. “Fuck me rough, Bucky.”

His demeanor changes in an instant, just like when he’s happy one moment then angry at the world the next. His eyes darken and his grip on your waist tightens. This is what you need. You need to be used, not made love to. You’re scared of what might happen if he’s gentle. A dam will break and it’ll fucking hurt. You may be drunk, but you’re sober enough to know a rough fucking won’t hurt you as much as when he whispers sweet nothings in your ear with soft strokes.

He lifts you on the table, situating himself between your legs as he continues to kiss you fiercely. He’s holding your head in place, biting and sucking your bottom lip until you both taste the faint iron of blood. You gasp into his mouth when you feel his hand slide between your legs.

The only barrier keeping him from your pussy is the panty hose you’re wearing under your skirt. You look into his eyes, spreading your legs apart for him. He watches as you open so beautifully for him, tracking the rise of your skirt intently.

Once you feel him press his fingers against your covered clit, your eyes grow heavy and your head tilts back. Pressure builds in the pit of your stomach when his touch becomes much more firm. The nylon of your stockings creates a sweet friction that has your chest rising and falling rapidly.

Bucky chuckles as he looks at you. “No panties, baby? You came here wanting to get fucked tonight didn’t you?”

His words ring through your head, causing you to grow wetter with each syllable that wicked tongue speaks. He leans over your body, pressing you down onto the hardwood as he brings his mouth to your ear. 

“Tell me how much you missed my fat cock stretching this pretty cunt.”

His breath against your skin has tingles running down your neck. His fingers running over your swollen clit makes your core tighten and release as you chase the pleasure those long digits bring. You can’t think, not when the fire in your belly keeps growing with each flick of his wrist.

When all you do is whine, Bucky’s metal hand finds your throat. He grips your neck tightly, making sure to keep you still as he brings his head up to look down at you. “Tell me,” he spits.

The coolness of his palm against your throat is a complete contrast to the heat of his flesh hand that’s rubbing your desperately wet pussy. You’re trying to keep it together, but a particular motion makes you cry out in desperation. You haven’t been fucked in awhile, ever since you and Bucky parted ways. You’re too sensitive, too hyper aware of what he’s doing to your poor body. Cumming is the only thing on your mind as you hump against his hand.

“I miss your cock, Bucky. My fingers can’t stretch me like you can. Please, please fuck me.”

Your desperation isn’t an act. It’s genuine and he knows this as he smirks at your shaking form. He always did love taking you apart until you were nothing but a heap of overworked flesh. God, does he know how to do it. He’s an expert with your body. Knows everything that makes you beg for more and everything that makes you beg for him to stop because you’re just so tender.

“Cum for me first, baby and I’ll fuck you. You remember how good I used to pound this pussy, don’t you?” His fingers begin to draw tighter circles against your clit. You try to throw your head to the side, but his hand still has you pinned to the table. Those tight circles begin to grow in speed, making your wetness drip from your aching hole and your legs tremble.

“I know you do. I know you remember how far I stretched you, how deep I went, and especially how you cum so hard with something to wrap around.” 

“Oh, fuck,” you gasp, his words going straight to your pussy. You remember it all. Of course you do because he always used to make you feel so good. There wasn’t a day in your relationship where you two weren’t having sex. Neither of you could never keep your hands to yourselves. And now, you have it all back. Have him back even if it’s just for tonight. 

His hand moves from your neck to your hair, retching your head back with a grip that makes your scalp sting so that he can bite and suck at the skin of your throat. Your stomach is tightening, cunt throbbing as your orgasm approaches. Bucky’s mouth assaults your neck, the pain of his teeth is soothed with his tongue. His fingers keep rubbing you, switching directions ever so often which causes you to twitch with each new movement.

You can feel it. The way your skin is buzzing, how your ears begin to ring and how the heat in your core works up your spine. “Bucky, I-” You try to warn him, but it hits you so suddenly that you can’t finish your sentence. Instead, you’re left crying out profanities as your back arches off the table and your hands grasp for any part of his body they can get to.

The heart stopping climax seems to go on forever as he works you through it. He doesn’t stop until you’re twitching and pushing his hand away from between your legs. It’s like you can’t move, can’t think as you lay limp, basking in the high he just gave you. Suddenly, your body is being flipped, face against the wood while your legs dangle over the edge.

Bucky doesn’t give you any time to calm your racing heart before he’s pushing your skirt up past your hips to hook his fingers into your stockings. You feel his fingers dig into the nylon, hear the rip as he tears them at the crotch. The cool air hits your soaked folds, but as soon as you feel the cold, you're engulfed in heat when he presses his member between your lips. 

“So wet, doll. So fucking wet,” he grits, like he’s trying to contain himself. You don’t want him to hold back. You know how feral he can get and you need that unabashed side of him.

“Buck, no more teasing.”

You don’t know how much more of his rutting you can take. His swollen tip keeps grazing your overworked clit, making you keen for more. For something more filling. For the stretch Bucky can definitely give you.

Looking over your shoulder, you see him still fully clothed, much like yourself. You see him focusing on your exposed holes. Suddenly, his eyes snap to yours and with a small smile, he thrusts into you. Your mouth hangs open, body jerking up the table as you try to accommodate his size.

You know perfectly well how endowed Bucky is. How long and thick and pretty his cock is. You remember how it made you feel, how he made you feel. But, when you go without for this long, his girth is something that burns your walls while his tip is dangerously close to kissing your cervix. It’s a pain you welcome fully because fuck does it come with a blinding pleasure that makes you clench onto him as if you want to keep him buried inside you.

His shaky breath fills the air as he slides out, only to thrust into you again. You’re on your tiptoes as your head slumps on the table. Maybe you bit off more than you can chew because all of this is so overwhelming. The emotions, the way he pierces you with pointed thrusts. You try to run away to get just a tiny reprieve, but Bucky isn’t letting up. He won’t let up.

Vibranium fingers grip the side of your face. He slides them into your mouth to jerk your head back up. He’s three digits deep in your throat, making you choke as he bends you back at an angle. He presses his chest against your arched back, lips ghosting over the shell of your ear as he whispers through clenched teeth, “This is what you wanted, slut. You’re not going anywhere.”

Keeping his fingers between your lips, he pounds into you. He’s moving your body against his with his free hand braced on your hip. It’s nasty, the way your spit coats his hand and your mouth, the way his balls slap against your pussy each time he sheaths himself fully inside you, how animalistic his grunts become with each snap of his hips.

You’re dumb for his cock. He fills you so effortlessly. Your walls crave the smooth glide of his shaft while simultaneously needing a break, a breather, something because it’s getting harder to breath. It’s getting harder to stop the cries coming from between his fingers.

In the pit of your stomach, you start to feel that sinking feeling. The one that makes your skin tingle and your core buzz. You’re pulsing around his length. Each time your pussy clamps around him, you can feel every ridge and vein more acutely. It makes the pounding that much better.

“You keep squeezin’ me like that and I’ll fill this tight cunt up,” he heaves behind you.

Yes, you think, fill me up. Your hands fly to his lean waist, holding him against you so he can grind into you instead of pulling out. Just thinking about his cum running down your legs is enough to make that coil in your stomach wind tighter.

“Oh, that’s what you want isn’t it, sweet girl?”

All you can let out is a whine. A desperate, pitiful whine and Bucky knows that’s exactly what you want.

He pulls his metal fingers out of your mouth. You suck in air, catching the  breaths he’s denied you this whole time. He grabs each of your hands from his hips and pins them to your back, making sure you’re completely immobile and compliant.

With one hand holding both of your own and the other shoving your face back down onto the table, he sets an even harsher pace than before. He doesn’t stray far from your channel, keeping a bruising pace as he grinds into you. Tears fall from your eyes as you lay completely stiff beneath him, taking every single thrust he gives you.

“Maybe,” he pants, “I should put a baby in you. Get your stomach all swollen with my kid. Then, you couldn’t leave me. You’d be tethered to me forever.”

He’s talking out of his head as he chases his high, but those words strike something in you. Something carnal and biological that it makes you soak his cock even more.

“Give me a baby.” You cry out, trying to match his thrusts but failing because he’s the one controlling the speed and it’s much faster than you can keep up with.

“I can see you now. How perfect your tits would look, how puffy and sensitive your pussy would get. And your fucking stomach.”

Harder he goes because he’s close. You know he is when he falls on top of you, trapping your arms between his chest and your back. You’re going to cum. His weight on top of you, his words, his fucking hand that sneaked it’s way between your open folds to pet your clit. It’s enough to make you snap.

Your body freezes as your eyes roll in the back of your head, mouth opened in a silent scream until moans finally break through with a stuttered crack. Bucky still doesn’t stop. You beg him to ease up, but he’s not listening. He’s making sure your pussy milks his cock for everything it’s worth. He’s working to give you the biggest load he can.

“So close, baby. Just a few more thrusts.”

You lay there, trembling and sore as you let him find pleasure within you. You haven’t felt this good in a long time. You feel satiated, wanted. Just like old times.

You hear his breathing catch in his throat, feel his dick twitch as his thrusts slow down. He buries himself inside you as far as he can go and with a grunt, he releases himself inside your still throbbing walls.

You feel his cum begin to slide out and around his shaft, soaking his jeans and ruining your stockings further. He doesn’t pull out, doesn’t lift his body off yours. And you don’t dare move, in fear of breaking this euphoric peace.

“I’ve missed you,” he tells you again. You smile when he pushes your hair from your sweaty skin. “Are you okay?”

He’s giving you the once over. The one he always did when the sex got particularly rough. “I’m perfect, Buck.”

Once he knows you’re good to go, he gently pulls out. He keeps you from getting up though, wanting to admire his work as it rolls down your folds. He always loved watching his semen coat the pussy he ruined.

When he’s satisfied with pushing it back inside you, he helps you up. “So, you’re staying?”

“Just for tonight.”

His eyes soften. He’ll take what he can get. “Round two in the bedroom?”

You chuckle at his question. This man is never sexually satisfied. Lucky for him, you’re just as sex crazed as him. And damn him. He knows it too.

Without saying anything, you grab his hand, making the familiar trek to his room at the end of the hall with a tremble in each step. One night, you promise yourself, one night to just fuck him out of my system.

Deep down, you know a night of sex won’t help. What would help is to take Bucky back. And maybe one day soon you will. But tonight, it’s not about rekindling a relationship. Tonight is about sleeping with the man that knows how to play your body effortlessly. Giving yourself over completely to him because you need it. Even if it’s just for the night.

#sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan smut #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes smut

[quantumlectra]

Kiribaku Fic Recs!

I wanted to do a list of fanfics that are really close to my heart!

Sorry if it is too long but I wanted it all in one place.

My First One And Only by  Quirkless-One (BlackBarBooks)

This is one of my favorites. Bakugou and Kirishima discover all stages of relationship together. They both have no idea what they're doing, but they figure it out with the power of love! It’s unfinised, but it has 26 chapters out already.

houdini by chonideno 

This one is really intense! Kirishima and Bakugou are locked together in the closet because they play the game of seven minutes in heaven. The tension between these two is so thick you could cut it with a knife. 

Heartbeat Thunder by  Shippeh

It’s an Omegaverse fic. Kirishima is an Alpha and he is addicted to suppressants because he had a really dangerous rut. Bakugou is an Omega and helps Kirishima with his struggles. Obviusly they fall in love during it.

Spice Season by Shippeh

This is an direct sequel to Heartbeat Thunder. This one is much heavier, deals with serious topics such as pregnancy and miscarriage. I cried so much reading this, so be prepared for feels!

Outshining the Sun by  thesweetestnerd

Class 2-A are going on a school trip. Bakugou and Kirishima are in love with each other, but neither is aware of it. They struggle with jealousy and miscommunication. Things get complicated when Mina confesses to Kirishima and he agrees because she's too nice to hurt her feelings.

what he thinks he knows by  octobuns

Bakugou rediscovers things he thought he knew about Kirishima. It’s really sweet!

Room for Cream by Shippeh

Another Omegaverse by amazing Shippeh! This one is so good. Kirishima is an Omega and a relly cute barista. Alpha Bakugou is ready to do anything to win his heart. But Kirishima has a dark past and a lot of issues, but Bakugou is here to help him go through it.

Tomorrow, Today by  timetoboldlygo

I think this one is my favorite. Please read this! Bakugou and Kirishima are all grown up and married. But they are in a middle of argument when they get hit by a quirk that throws them back in time. They have to deal with difficult emotions while trying to go back to the present. They are so in love with each other, and their relationship is really healthy! My heart was sqeezed so many times by this fic!

Twelve Fifty-One by  Trenchcoatkitten

Another one of my favorites! This is a Band AU! Kirishima is the lead singer in the band and Bakugou is the replacement bassist. Kirishima is head over heels  (who can blame him, Bakugou has piercings!) Also, they sing with each other!

(Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder) FALSE by  dragontrappedinhumanskin

This is pure fluff! Bakugou and Kirishima are hit with a quirk that forces them to stay really close to each other. Yeah, they have to spend every second with each other. They dance together and share clothes! It’s really sweet.

A matter of chemistry by  mcshamey

This is a College AU. Kirishima share chemistry classes with this grumpy but hot guy and he decides that he will befriend him. Turns out they become more than friends. It’s basically fluff with a little drama at the end, but nothing big.

When Love is Gone by  Bryan

This fic will break your heart, I warn you! Bakugou is an old man and he is dying. He records his thoughts about his memories with Kirishima. They were in love but broke up when they were younger. Kirishima moved on and started a family with another man. But Bakugou never stopped loving him.

and Kirishima’s point of view:

Last Christmas by Bryan

After Bakugou’s death Kirishima finds out about his feelings, which he had hidden for so many years.

Be Patient by  deviance

Everybody is wondering why Kirishima and Bakugou aren’t a couple yet. They’re obviusly in love with each other. But they made a promise to wait.

The Bet by  Mostlyhuman

Kirishima lost a bet and had to flirt with Bakugou for a month. But Bakugou is weirdly okay with that. Fluff, fluff and fluff!

Sent, Delivered, Read, Loved by  KiriBakuHappiness

This one is really interesting because it shows Bakugou and Kirishima’s text conversations and how their relationship developed. 

I Loved You Once and It Seemed Enough

After many years of not talking Bakugou and Kirishima reunites and fall in love with the new versions of themselves.

Cosmopolitan by  dvmb4ss

After a drinking party with the whole class, Bakugou and Kirishima end up sleeping together. They both are afraid that this will affect their friendship. They don't realize that they both want more.

tour en l'air  by  oredatte

Bakugou is an trangender ballet dancer. He overworked and ends up with leg contusion. Kirishima is his lovely physical therapist and helps him recover. (And they fall in love)

an opera in 5 parts by  oredatte

This one is very heavy. CW: self harm. Bakugou can’t stop cutting himself and Kirishima finds out. It’s really finely written.

Resident Ships in the Night by  redriothashira

Bakugou and Kirishima are divorced. After Kirishima’s grandma dies, they are forced to fix a cabin together and deal with their feelings for each other. This fic is very mature and I loved the different approach of their characters.

Wasting Time by  imnotpoppunk

This is an AU where everything is basically the same but Kirishima dicides to not apply to UA. He meets Bakugou and they develop an connection.

This fic is very angsty but it has fluffy moments as well.

Kirishima's Cocktails by  Stitch_In_Time

Bakugou is depressed and his life is falling apart. He meets a bright plumber who helps him rebuild his bar. They fall in love but Bakugou still has to deal with his mental issues.

Freshly Ground Coffee by  arxaris

Cute Coffe Shop AU where Bakugou is a pro hero and Kirishima is a fanboy barista. 

show me where it hurts by  JustAKilljoy

Soulmate AU where you can feel your soulmates pain and Bakugou begins to experience panic attacks that are not his own.

you have made me feel so sure by  honeijirou

Another Soulmate AU where first words are written on your body. Kirishima doesn’t have them. He meets Bakugou who has hearing problems and doesn’t speak.

pickup lines and valentines by  aloera

And another soulmate AU! Basically whatever you write on your body, it appears on your soulmate body as well. Nobody believes them, when Bakugou and Kirishima say that they are in a relationship.

Worth a Thousand Words by  awareoftheconcept

Kirishima is convinced that Bakugou is dating Camie and struggles with jealousy. Little does he know that Bakugou is in love with him.

tell me the truth (even if it hurts) by  Kilaco77

Kirishima is hit by a quirk, causing everyone to tell him the truth. Kirishima learns bad things, but Bakugou tries to protect him.

The Lost Continent by  cattchi, paglykos

Reading this fic feels like readin a good, adventure book. It’s about pirattes! Bakugou is a Captain of the ship and Kirishima is a noble boy, who was taken hostage. But they fell in love and Kirishima finds happiness and a new way of life.

#ao3 #archive of our own #fanfiction #kiribaku fanfiction rec #kiribaku fic rec #fic rec #fic #fanfic #bnha kiribaku #aged up kiribaku #kiribaku #soulmate au #AU #college au #coffe shop au #bakushima #bakugou x kirishima #bnha kirishima #Kirishima Eijirou #bakugou katsuki #bnha bakugou #bakugou #kiri #baku #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #love

[astro-syd]

Jimin’s Duality (From an Astrological Perspective)

Jimin has become quite famous for the dual nature of his personality, so today I’m here to give a bit of astrological insight into this phenomenon! Jimin easily transitions between his sweet, adorable, mochi self and his passionate, intense stage persona. Neither of these “personas” are an acting stunt of any kind. They’re true aspects of Jimin’s personality! He simply knows which moments are the most appropriate and effective for channeling each side of himself, and all of these sides show up clearly within his natal chart. Let’s take a look!

Cancer Ascendant: child of the moon

Jimin’s Ascendant falls within Cancer, a cardinal water sign ruled by the moon. This also means that the moon is Jimin’s chart ruler! It holds a lot of significance in his natal chart.

Because Cancer rules over your home, family life, childhood and foundations, people with their Sun or Ascendant in this sign tend to have a very sweet, innocent, even childish nature about them. They tend to keep in touch with their inner child as they grow older, and might have something of a mischievous nature because of this too!

Cancer and the Moon often rule the mother in astrology, so people with this ascendant can easily take on a very motherly, nurturing quality. Jimin has been known to keep a close eye on the other members and he’s often the first one rushing to comfort them if need be.

This also somewhat stems from his emotional intelligence and sensitivity. Those with a Moon ruler tend to be very sensitive to emotions and mood swings, and Jimin is no exception. He’s highly empathetic, and with his Libra Sun & Mercury in his 4th house (ruled by Cancer), one of his natural gifts revolves around bringing balance to others’ emotional states. Others will feel magnetically drawn to him for healing.

Cancer is a common Ascendant to see in people within performing arts careers. This is because of their emotional availability and talent for expressing feelings. There’s something about Jimin’s vulnerability which makes people empathize with him, understand him on a very human level, and even want to protect him, much like you would a small child. It definitely contributes to his very “cute” and “sweet” vibe, even if he is a fully grown adult who’s capable of handling himself, haha.

Cancer rising people are very sensitive to their environment. When Jimin is put on unfamiliar ground, he will tend to withdraw or act shy until he feels more comfortable. He’s also likely to become flustered easily, especially when he’s in public and knows he’s got many eyes/cameras on him. His overarching moods and personality take on a very changeable quality, much like ocean tides. The ways in which he chooses to present himself are often highly based upon his immediate environment.

The Ascendant also holds a lot of weight over someone’s physical appearance. Cancer rising people can have a round, moon-like face shape and cute apple cheeks, especially when they smile. They’re known for a very large, bright smile, and large, puffy lips. Cancer natives often possess tiny hands and feet, and might even have something of a frail appearance.

They usually are quite soft-spoken, and with Jimin’s Moon residing in Gemini, this sign will have a lot of influence over his tone of voice. It definitely contributes to his light, “angelic” tone and the emotional quality of his singing. The Gemini influence here also appears in his sloping jawline and more pointed chin.

Moon in Gemini: messenger of emotion

Within Jimin’s chart ruler residing in communicative Gemini, he definitely knows how to put his feelings, memories, and experiences into words. Even if he doesn’t like to talk about his feelings too often, they’ll naturally bleed into his speech, his writing, and his art.

His emotions are easily influenced by others’ words as well, and this is especially true of his family and the people he loves. ARMY has picked up on the fact that our Jiminnie loves praise, but he’s not really using it as an ego boost. His feeling states are genuinely affected by the words of those around him. Watch the way his whole face lights up when the members compliment him and you’ll see what I mean. This also makes him more sensitive to negative feedback though, so he has to be a little careful about the opinions he chooses to expose himself to.

One of his greatest life lessons is to learn how to articulate his own inner feelings and experiences, as well as encouraging others to do the same. Allowing himself to be vulnerable and emotional is not only extremely healthy for him (even more so than the average person), but it also helps others to feel more comfortable and healed when doing the same.

In his childhood, his family members probably spent a lot of time talking about their feelings, but they might have struggled to actually feel them and discuss these emotions from a genuinely vulnerable standpoint. This is part of Jimin’s ancestral lesson to carry out in this lifetime!

His moon resides in his 12th house, which is a highly intuitive and spiritual placement. The 12th rules all things unseen, including spirits, dreams, secrets, hidden enemies, and religion. It’s a very foggy, mystical house. A lot of his feelings and mood swings are at least somewhat subconscious, which is also why it’s very healthy for him to speak about them. Communication will help to draw his emotions out of this hazy house and into the light of day where he can then process and make sense of what he’s feeling.

The 12th also rules the collective unconscious, so Jimin unfortunately also has a very good understanding of all of the underlying pains, traumas, and wounds of our societies. He’s very good at understanding human nature and human suffering, which makes him a great artist and an incredible healer, but it’s also a heavy burden to bear. Much of his empathy stems from this awareness which he’s possessed from a very young age. It’s possible that he even has psychic or empathic abilities of some kind, regardless of whether or not he’s in touch with them.

He’s a very trustworthy confidant. Jimin is a great listener, and because the 12th house rules secrets, he’s fantastic about protecting people in this way. He can be trusted with just about any information and will genuinely take these secrets to the grave. He enjoys the process of healing and supporting others, and protecting their most sensitive memories, experiences, and information is just another way for him to nurture those around him. This is another part of his appeal as a celebrity- he simply feels trustworthy, especially when he’s speaking from the heart and caring for those around him. He’d also make a great therapist, haha!

Libra Sun & Mercury: creator of harmony

Jimin has both his Sun and Mercury residing within fair and balanced Libra. It’s a sign which enjoys showing a polite, friendly, peaceful, and harmonious attitude, especially in public. Jimin is very much aware that there’s a time and a place for all aspects of his personality, and he knows when to utilize each side in order to achieve the best response from the public. He knows how to play an audience very well while still coming from a very genuine place within himself.

Because Libra is ruled by Venus and rules over the house of partnerships, these people tend to be natural flirts- and Jimin is definitely no exception. Flirting with others and generally being a huge tease is very fun for him, in fact he sees it as something of a game (more on that in the next section). He likes to charm others and be received well in the eyes of the public as much as possible.

Libra is a very non-confrontational sign which dislikes conflict, and Jimin can act as a peacemaker within their group whenever disputes or misunderstandings occur (though all BTS members share this energy to some extent). When appearing in public or voicing his opinion in interviews, he often has a very well put-together, diplomatic vibe about him.

Scorpio Venus, Mars, & Pluto: the playful devil

So, we’ve discussed our charming, diplomatic prince Park Jimin, as well as our cute and loving mochi, but where on earth does that stage persona come from?! Let me introduce you to Jimin’s most deadly placements: His Venus, Mars, and Pluto all within his 5th house in Scorpio.

Venus and Mars are both planets which deal with romantic relationships. Venus in astrology tells us about the sorts of people, things, and experiences we’re attracted to, as well as the kind of person we’ll be within a romantic relationship. It rules over the arts, fashion, partnerships, and commitments. Mars, on the other hand, is a lot more masculine and aggressive. It rules over our anger, our motivations, and our drive. It can indicate how we’ll chase after the people, goals, and experiences we desire in life.

Jimin has both of these romantic, charismatic planets in his 5th house, which rules performance, the arts and creativity, fun and games, parties, lighthearted romance, and children. It’s very common to see actors and performers with strong planetary placements within this house, but Jimin certainly has quite the combo working for him here.

The emphasis around his intense, passionate, and charismatic stage persona comes from the sign we’re in: Scorpio. It’s ruled by Pluto, the Underworld planet, and rules over all things dark, mysterious, and taboo in society. Secrets, mystery, the occult, psychology, sexuality, and power all fall within this planet’s reign.

People within strong Scorpio placements like to dive deep into their relationships and experiences. They like a little mystery, but the appeal comes from the act of uncovering these secrets. They often make great detectives or psychologists because they’re fantastic at understanding human nature and getting to the bottom of a situation.

This is the reason behind Jimin’s intense stare. Many Scorpios are known for having really intimidating eyes, and it’s because they almost seem to peer straight into the depths of your soul. It can feel as if they’ve exposed all of the things you wish to keep hidden simply by watching you- and with their keen observational skills, maybe they have.

That said, the lure of the dark and mysterious catches the eyes of many- and Jimin uses these placements to his advantage when performing. Scorpio is a fixed water sign, so you can think of it like the depths of the deep ocean. His art, movements, and power are all influenced by this energy. His movements are fluid but powerful, his art is deep, emotional, and moving but still mysterious and somewhat guarded, and even just this side of his personality seems unique and captivating when compared to his usual off-stage personality.

This is also a sign which is prone to obsession. Jimin’s work ethic and attention to detail has been praised time and time again, and it likely stems from the careful attention he gives to every aspect of his work until it meets the image he wishes to portray. He knows what the audience wants to see and how best to meet their expectations. He lets you glimpse into his power, his depth, and his sexuality through his performances, but never exposes more than he wants to.

Remember that those Libra placements love to tease, and in the 5th house here, he plays his movements like a game. His performances become a place where he can momentarily flaunt the darker Underworld energies within his personality, knowing that the audience will respond well when it’s within the right context. The sides of himself which are deep, obsessive, jealous, intense, and passionate find an outlet on the stage, and he needs this outlet to avoid taking these energies out on either himself or others in more destructive ways.

His Mars conjuncts his Pluto here, which is a wildly powerful placement. Pluto is the planet of death and rebirth, destruction and transformation, and in joining with the God of War in a chart, these two become a major force to be reckoned with. You can see it in his confidence on stage, his presence, and the ways in which he influences a crowd. He’s magnetic and attractive, and he can command attention without hardly lifting a finger.

In any other sign, this combination of planets has the power to become incredibly destructive (and in fact, it can be the worst in Scorpio if not handled properly), but Jimin’s grasp on this force he embodies is admirably strong. Remember when the other members said that he’s the scariest when angry? You wouldn’t want to see this placement out of control. The same forces which can give the strongest ability to understand, uncover, and heal others’ hidden wounds also has the potential to use them for harm.

Jimin, however, understands his power and channels the most intense sides of his personality into his art. When he steps onto a stage, he knows exactly what he’s there to do. He has rehearsed tirelessly, he knows what he wants to portray and how to achieve it, and he has a great sense of how the public will respond to his every move.

His chart is water dominant, and he’s a constant reminder that the water element is not just sensitive and emotional. Jimin’s Moon ruler pushes and pulls at ocean tides in the same way he influences our emotions. The same waters which flow through Jimin’s heart and psyche also have the power to create new life or flood entire cities. He’s a great example of how our charts become what we make of them. He’s successful and powerful while still retaining his humility, he’s sensitive and emotional without being too fearful or avoidant, and he’s understanding and manipulative but uses these forces for healing. An angel, perhaps?

#jimin #jimin natal chart #jimin natal reading #bts #bts Jimin #bts astrology #bts natal charts #jimin astrology #park jimin #bangtan boys #jimin astrology reading #jimin duality #bts natal readings #jiminie #jimin mochi #jimin imagine #soft jimin #kpop astrology #astrology #bts imagines #bts scenarios #kpop natal readings #park jimin natal reading #park jimin astrology #bts jimin astrology

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

Notting Hill AU Snippet #8

"It happened. Feel it, and let it go."

Her therapist's words are easier said than done. Lena does her best, she really does, but every time she almost feels over Kara Danvers, she sees a film trailer or a tabloid headline and her world spirals again.

It's silly. Lena knows she shouldn't be so affected. She only knew Kara Danvers for a few days across a few weeks, but then again... as her therapist likes to say: Lena never learned how to love half way.

When news of a nude photo scandal breaks, Lena finds out about it with the rest of the world, but instead of watching in sick fascination, Lena feels only horror for the woman behind it all. Her heart, broken though it is, goes out to Kara, and the devastation she must be going through. Because Lena more than anyone else knows how carefully crafted Kara's image is, how carefully precise every word and movement is lest she lose the love of the audience and the industry itself.

But as much as Lena might want to, she doesn't call. She doesn't write. She doesn't even know if Kara is in Britain at all, until one morning there's a knock on her front door.

There, with an overnight bag, is Kara.

Her eyes are hidden behind large sunglasses, and her arms are crossed over her chest, tight with anxiety. Before Lena can think to do anything otherwise, she wordlessly steps aside to invite Kara into her flat.

"Thank you," Kara murmurs. Her voice quivers, her jaw clenched against brimming tears. Lena briefly scans the street outside before closing the door, relieved to find it empty of press.

They slowly migrate to the kitchen, where Kara pauses, uncertain of what to do next.

"Tea?" Lena offers.

Kara nods faintly. Over tea, the situation Lena had avoided reading about about in the tabloids comes spilling out as Kara vents, finally able to explain to someone-- anyone-- who would listen.

"I was young, and I was angry, and... and you want to know the saddest part? I enjoyed that shoot! It was one of the healthiest, most open working environments I'd ever been in. The level of trust, and respect... god-- they talked to me like a person, and I just-- for the first time, it felt like I had complete agency. Except I didn't, because they also filmed it, which they didn't tell me, and now... now my entire career, the only thing I've ever done in my entire life, might be over."

Lena listens to it all. She can't offer anything more than that. She doesn't know what to say, even if she could speak under the weight of being in Kara's presence again. Kara fills the entire room, even dressed down in jeans and a trim sweater.

The hurt of their last parting feels a million miles away for the first time since it happened, and all Lena wants to do is kiss her.

"What does your boyfriend think?" Lena blurts softly.

Kara blinks, staring at her. "I don't know," she confesses silently. "I haven't heard from him since before... I don't even know if I have a boyfriend anymore. I didn't even really know I had one then, until he showed up in my hotel room."

She pauses, finally meeting Lena's. "I am so sorry for what happened. I wanted to call so many times, I just-- I just didn't know what to say. And now-- now I'm invading your home like--"

"It's okay," Lena assures her, heading her off at the pass. She rises, taking Kara's hands in hers and offering a reassuring squeeze. "I'm glad you're here, and that you're safe."

Blinking away tears, Kara nods, sniffling.

"What do you need?" Lena asks. "Food, nap, bath...?"

"A bath sounds... really nice right now. And food. And a nap. Maybe in that order?"

Lena smiles. "Okay. We can do that."

---

After Kara's bath, they chat quietly over Notting Hill's finest fish and chips. It feels like no time has passed at all, like they didn't ever part that night at the hotel. Lena revels in it, and in the fact that Kara's nap is taken resting against her shoulder as Lena reads on the couch.

Her therapist would be so disappointed in her.

There's no boundary Lena could throw between them that Kara isn't already well past, and Lena finds she simply doesn't want to. As dangerous as she knows it is, she enjoys their time together. She's addicted to it, like a moth to flame.

The first night, Lena gives Kara her bed, and sleeps on the couch. The second night, after a day filled with running lines for Kara's next project, Lena's awoken from a light doze by a creak on the stair. Despite having a flatmate, Lena instinctively knows it's not Querl, and meets Kara at the foot of the stair.

"Is everything all right?" she asks.

In the dark, Kara nods, a dark shape bobbing in the shadows. "Yes, I-- I just wanted to say thank you. For everything you've done for me. I know you have no reason to help--"

Lena leans in and kisses her. Before her brain can catch up, Kara is kissing her back, burying her hands in Lena's tangled hair before slipping down to brush the edge of Lena's breast through the fabric of her tank top.

Lena covers the exploring hand, pressing it in place against her chest before it could go any further.

"Do you want this?" is all she asks.

Kara nods again, this time their noses brushing at the tips. "Yes," she breathes. "I want you."

----

Waking up in the morning, Lena feels as though she's still dreaming. Her body aches pleasantly, and today the sunlight streaming through her windows falls softly on the figure fast asleep beside her.

Kara Danvers' features are soft in sleep, unschooled for the first time Lena's ever seen. She looks younger, and impossibly more beautiful-- until Kara shifts, and wakes with a smile that puts Lena's previous observations to shame.

"Hi," Kara whispers.

"Hi," Lena whispers back. "Sweet dreams?"

"Mmmmmm," Kara hums, rolling to face her. "Remind me."

Lena obliges with a kiss, ignoring the sour taste of morning breath. Her hand cups Kara's jaw, her thumb brushing lightly against a soft cheek.

Before long, they're interrupted by a low growl in Kara's belly, prompting Lena to laugh against Kara's lips.

"Message received. Stay here," she urges, slipping out of bed.

She pulls on a pair of boxers and her tank top from the night before, wrinkled from being tossed unceremoniously across the room, before heading downstairs to make breakfast.

Lena barely has the bread in the toaster before warm arms encircle her waist from behind. Soft lips press against the join of Lena's neck, blonde hair tickling her skin. She hums low in her throat.

"I like that," she says. She leans her head against Kara's. "Butter and jam's in the fridge."

Kara grins against her and parts with another kiss, finding her way around Lena's kitchen as though she's always been there. Lena takes in the sight of Kara in one of her old oversized sweaters, barely enough to keep her decent. It's a pleasant sight, Kara's ease. Lena wants it to stick around forever.

Their peace is interrupted a moment later when the doorbell rings.

"I've got it," Lena says. "You stay here and butter the toast."

She hops down the narrow steps to the front hall, and opens the door without a second thought as to who could be behind it.

A barrage of camera shutters clicking and the bright flash of dozens of cameras going off at once stuns her. Blinded, she can barely make out the sea of paparazzi, and the questions she barely hears through the buzz of utter noise.

In the next moment, Lena regains her senses and slams the door shut. The heavy old door does well to muffle the sound, so that when Kara comes traipsing down the steps behind her she doesn't notice the hubbub.

"What is it?"

Before Lena can stop her, a shout on her lips, Kara opens the door and faces the sea of cameras with nothing but a piece of toast in her hand and an old sweater between them.

Kara reacts faster than Lena did, instantly whirling and shutting the door behind her. In that moment, Kara's ease disappears. Her body stiffens and her skin heats with flush of shame.

"They... you..." Kara stammers. She looks at Lena, then glares at her. "You told them I was here?!"

"What? Why would I do that?"

"Well, if it wasn't you, it was that weirdo of a roommate!" Kara exclaims, voice climbing in pitch and volume. "Finally decided to make a quick buck by giving a tip to the tabloids!"

"That's uncalled for," Lena counters. Querl is odd, but he'd only ever been kind to Kara, in his own strange way. "Let's just... let's just breathe for a second--"

"You breathe. I'm leaving."

Without another word, Kara disappears back into the kitchen. After an urgent call to whom Lena can only guess is her publicist, Kara disappears towards the bedroom. Lena gives her space, lingering in the living room long enough for Kara to catch her breath. By the time she finally pokes her head into the bedroom, Kara is already dressed and throwing her items into her overnight bag.

"Kara..."

"Don't. Don't say my name like you know how I feel."

Lena swallows thickly. "I don't... I don't know what to say. I'm sorry they're here, but I'm not sorry you are."

"Well, I am," Kara snaps, snatching her top from the night before and slamming it into her bag. "I never should have come here. I have a boyfriend for Christ's sake!"

Lena freezes, her blood running cold. "You do?"

"As far as they're concerned I do! And now pictures of us are going to be on every paper from here to Star City!!"

Kara lugs her bag over her shoulder and storms out of the room. "And your friend, your friend owes you a nice dinner. Lobster at least, if he's smart enough to get the going rate on betrayal."

"You leave Querl out of this!" Lena snaps, her temper fraying as she chases after Kara. "Okay? I understand that you're upset, and I am too, but we don't know that he has anything to do with this!"

Kara rounds on her with fury in her eyes. "All I know is that they didn't follow me here, and we didn't go anywhere. So if wasn't me, and it wasn't him, who was it? Hm?"

Angry tears burn at the backs of Lena's eyes. She blinks them away, and struggles breathe past the lump in her throat.

"It's okay, Lena," Kara continues firing, "I get it. Okay? It's natural to want your name out there, to drum up business. Come, get a boring book about Egypt from the chick who fucked Kara Danvers!"

The accusation drives all the breath from Lena's body. She stares, and sees the moment Kara realizes she's crossed a line. She softens then, but not enough.

"You may only get fifteen minutes of this, Lena,  but I have had this my entire life. These pictures will last forever. They will follow me FOREVER, and I will regret this forever!"

The doorbell rings, cleaving through the moment of Lena's heartbreak. Surprisingly, Kara doesn't immediately leave, her shock at her own words evident in the gape of her mouth and the tears in her eyes.

Finally, Lena looks away, clearing her throat.

"You don't want to keep your team waiting," she grinds out, her voice full of gravel. It hurts to speak, to breathe, to even look at Kara. But watch she does as Kara's mouth closes to a resolute line before she turns and leaves without looking back.

previous / next

#supercorp #notting hill au #wall of text

[reidandweep]

Dinosaurs and Sharks

Spencer Reid x Reader (female)

A/N- Im going to be doing a couple of imagines on some subjects that I relate to specifically. This is the first one, so I hope you enjoy. Also I made up a lot of the American stuff. So sorry if it isn’t accurate as I am from Britain.

Word Count- 4567 words

Warning- Fluff, Angst, mentions of anxiety and panic attacks.

‘Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.’ - Arthur Somers Roche.

Everyone remembers their first. First kiss. First love. First heartbreak. First time they watched their favourite film or read their favourite book. One first is always clearer than the rest. Every detail so vivid in a person’s mind. For Y/N, it was her first panic attack.

She remembered the feeling of not being able to breath as her lungs constricted around nothing. The gasping for air as her hands began to shake. She was alone and did not know what was happening. Y/N thought she was dying. That this is what death felt like. It took her approximately 38 minutes to calm down her breathing; her face a canvas of dried tears and her hands aching from their clenched position.

As life continued, Y/N found that these moments would happen often. Anything could trigger a panic attack. She had them over miniscule things like using the wrong coloured pen for her notes. But also, over dramatic events in her life, like being employed at the BAU.

It had always been her aspiration to work for the FBI. Y/N would not let anything get in her way of achieving what she had worked so hard for. Choosing not to disclose information about her anxiety to the team, Y/N had successfully kept her anxiety under control at work. Stepping out when she felt overwhelmed, doing her set routine to help slow down her breathing and her heart rate. No anxiety or panic attacks had occurred at work. Until one late Thursday evening, whilst trying to solve a case, it seemed like there was no way out of the oncoming wave that was about to crash over her.

YN sat at her desk, re-reading over the case for what felt like the hundredth time. They had been in Atlanta, Georgia for three days with no luck. Two more lives had been lost, and if they didn’t work fast enough, another would soon be too.

Y/N was alone in the office in which the team had been situated into for the time being. She had volunteered to look over the victimology once more as Rossi and JJ spoke to the families of the two newest victims, and Emily and Morgan went to the second crime scene as Hotch and Spencer surveyed the third.

Cracking her back as she stretched from her crouched position, Y/N looked at the clock on the wall. The team would be back soon, and she could not see anything new. She had to keep looking. As she delved deeper and deeper into the words before her, her eyes glanced between the pages of the file and the clock, Y/N felt the creeping tension in her chest.

“I haven’t got the time for this.”

Y/N banged her fist on the desk as her chest got increasingly tighter. Looking down at her fist, she saw that it was shaking.

As her other hand moved to her chest, Y/N stood up from her chair and paced across the room.

“Not now. Anytime but now!”

Y/N tried to take deep breathes to ease the panic that she felt. She couldn’t help but to glance at the clock. She couldn’t risk the team seeing her like this. Grabbing the file, Y/N dashed out of the room, looking for somewhere where she could calm herself down.

Seeing an open door ahead, Y/N looked inside the room to survey its contents. Noticing no one inside, she quickly shut the door behind her, dropping the file on the table as she continued to pace the room.

“Breathe, Y/N. Breathe.”

She tried. Y/N tried so hard to regulate her breathes but her chest continued to rise and fall at an increasing rate.

The feeling was overwhelming. She hated that she could never control it. No matter how much she tried. The exercises never worked. Her therapist’s advice was useless. She would have to stay in the room until she calmed down; however long it took.

Sliding down against the wall, Y/N threaded her shaking hands through her hair, pulling on the strands as tears flooded from her eyes. Her cries were quiet, but to her they sounded so loud that they echoed in her mind.

As the team walked back into the precinct, they discussed the evidence in which they found from each scene and interview conducted.

“Both parents of the most recent victims state that their daughters did not know each other. They were all from different areas and attended separate universities.”

Emily nodded at Rossi as they continued to walk towards their allocated room.

“The crime scenes both showed signs of a struggle and personal items were missing from both the bedrooms. This time it was a pompom and a baton.”

The team took in Hotch’s words. Emily walked to the door; hand situated over the door handle.

“Were the girls on any cheerleading teams?”

JJ shook her head at Morgan’s question.

“Well let’s just hope that Y/N’s found something that we’ve missed.”

As the door opened, the team looked in confusion to see Y/N nowhere in sight.

“Maybe she went to get a drink. We were gone for a while.”

The team headed into the room, situating themselves across the threshold as they continued to discuss the new evidence. Spencer lingered at the door.

Something felt off. Spencer noticed that Y/N file was nowhere in sight and that her phone was left on the table. She was never without her phone.

“Guys, I’ll be back in a second. I’m just going to go to the bathroom.”

The team all acknowledged Spencer’s words in their own way; too engrossed in the case to notice Spencer’s perplexed look.

Spencer walked down the hall as he thought of where Y/N could be.  As he turned the corner, Spencer immediately noticed the picture on the floor; in the middle of the empty hallway. Walking towards the picture, Spencer crouched down to survey its contents. He recognised it as a piece from the victimology report.

Looking down the corridor, he saw multiple more pictures on the ground. Spencer continued to follow their path, picking them up as he passed each one. He soon came to an end when no more pictures were strewn on the carpet.

Beginning to worry, Spencer wondered where Y/N could be. Just as he was about to head back to tell the team, a muffled sound could be heard.

Spencer stared at the door in front of him. It was labelled ‘Interrogation Room 4’. Spencer knew that no one had been brought in for interrogation so far, therefore, the room should be vacant.

Carefully, Spencer moved his hand to grasp the door handle. Opening the door, Spencer quietly walked inside. As he shut the door behind him, Spencer instantly recognised Y/N on the other side of the glass.

His heart broke at the sight of her. Unable to stand by for even a second, Spencer opened the door adjoining the hidden area to the interrogation room.

Y/N jumped from the sound of the opening door. Looking in the direction of the noise, her breathing elevated as she saw who had opened it.

She could not bear for anyone to see her in this way. The team had seen her as anything but strong. She had never cried on a case. Or thrown up or fainted at the sights they had seen. She was able to control the overwhelming feeling that enveloped her until she was alone.

“Y/N…”

“S-Spen-ce, ple-a-ase le-le-leave.”

Y/N struggled to speak as she gasped for air. Her throat dried from her cries and her face wet from the constant tears.

For a miniscule of a second, Spencer contemplates doing as she asked; until he truly looks at her. He had noticed signs of Y/N being anxious in the past, but he had written it down as nerves from being new to the team. He would have never guessed anxiety disorder or panic attacks due to her confidence and lack of breakdowns on the field. They had all cried or walked away from bodies during their first few months; even Hotch had. All except Y/N. Spencer moved to stand in front of Y/N. Crouching down, he reached for her hands in her hair.

Y/N couldn’t help the confusion that showed on her face as she allowed Spencer to grab her hands from her hair and hold them in his own grasp. Spencer hated touching hands. He hated germs. In her short time at the BAU, her hands had never touched his once.

Spencer locked his gaze with Y/N as he began to speak.

“Y/N, is It okay if I help?”

Y/N slowly nodded her head at his question. He had already seen her hyperventilating. She may as well take his help.

Spencer stroked the back of her hands with his thumbs.

“First, can you look at five things in the room and describe them for me?”

Y/N’s hand shook in Spencer’s as her eyes darted around the room as she tried to focus on five objects. There weren’t enough things in the room. Spencer noticed her increasing distress.

Squeezing her hands, Spencer pulled her focus back to him.

“it’s alright. Let’s try this instead. Describe five things about me. Anything you want.”

Y/N’s eyes travelled across Spencer. First, she locked onto his hair.

“Your hair is short-er-er than it was la-las-st week. You’ve had it cut. I Li-ik-ike it.”

Spencer blushed at her compliment; nodding his head at her to continue.

Y/N could already feel her breathing relax. Her hands still shaking as the sweat on her brow and neck continued to cool her burning skin.

“You’re wearing your favour-our-rite tie. You always wear it on days th-th-at you want to be better. You’ve worn it twice since we’ve be-ee-en here.”

Spencer was shocked at how observant she was with him. Of course, she was observant, she was a profiler, but he never thought it would be in his direction.

“You have one purple sock with dinosaurs on and one blue sock with sharks on. Purples my favourite colour and sharks are my favourite animal too, how weird.”

Spencer noticed that Y/N know longer stumbled over her words, her breathing was evening out and she even smiled when she looked at his socks.

“My favourite colour is purple too. I prefer Saurapods specifically in reference to dinosaurs. Sauropods evolved to walk on four legs and typically grew to enormous sizes. They were herbivores and consisted of dinosaurs such as…”

“Brontosaurus, Brachiosaurus, and Diplodocus.”

Spencer was finding out more and more about Y/N in this single moment than he had in her whole time with the team so far. He determined it down to her walls being lowered due to her panic attack.

“Yeah. That’s exactly what I was going to say.”

Y/N couldn’t help a smile grow on her face from the look that Spencer was giving her. Her hands began to shake less as she held his gaze. Unconsciously, matching her breathes to his deeper ones. She was calming down without even realising.

“Two more things.”

Y/N licked her lips; ridding the dryness as she scanned Spencer to describe another detail.

Spencer tried to ignore the gesture, but he could now feel his own hands begin to sweat in her grasp. He shook his head. He was helping her. He had to focus.

“You look like you can play piano. You have the hands for it. They’re large and smooth. A lot bigger than my little hands.”

Spencer chuckled at her words.

“I actually don’t play piano. I wanted to join the band in high school, but I was already picked on for being so young, I didn’t want them to have something else to use against me.”

Y/N squeezed Spencer’s hand.

“I wasn’t in band, but I was the school mascot throughout high school. I got teased relentlessly for it because of what our mascot was.”

“What was it?”

“A pig.”

Spencer looked at Y/N perplexed. Y/N rolled her eyes at his obliviousness. “The boys on the football team would often make fun of my weight. It crippled me for some years, especially because I had to travel with the cheerleaders, who were a lot skinnier than me. I had to be there at all their competitions to show school spirit. Our school would even give me things to help amp up the crowd.”

Spencer grasped Y/N’s hands tighter.

“Like pomspoms?

“Yeah, and megaphones. When the band played, they gave me a baton to twirl and throw in the air.”

Y/N saw the look on Spencer’s face. She knew instantly why he looked so shocked.

“We found items missing from the two newest victims’ rooms. One was a pompom and the other a baton?”

“Did the baton have a specific symbol on the stick?”

Spencer nodded his head.

“The parent’s said it was blue and white with a manatee on the bottom.”

Y/N rushed to her feet pulling Spencer up with her. Dragging him out the door, Spencer ran to keep in toe with Y/N as she explained to him her thoughts.

The team looked on stunned as Y/N and Spencer came bursting through the door; their hands interlocked, and Y/N’s face adorned with tracks of dried tears.

Before they could question what was going on, Y/N began to talk.

“All three of the victims were mascots for their university teams.”

Morgan shook his head.

“The parent’s said that none of their children were part of the cheer team.”

Y/N began to wave her arms as she spoke, unaware of her hand still grasped in Spencer’s as it moved alongside her own as she spoke.

“Being a mascot does not connect you solely to the cheerleading squad. You represent all teams at the school; basketball, baseball, soccer, football etc. Every year, the mascots go with the teams to their state events. It’s like a sports decathlon kind of event where each universities sports team face other universities. Even the mascots compete against one another’s.”

Hotch looked at Y/N inquisitively.

“And how do we know our victims attended this event?”

Y/N looked towards Spencer to answer.

Spencer cleared his throat as he was aware of the flickering gazes between Y/N and Spencer’s interlocked hands and Y/N tear stained face.

“The items taken from the girls’ bedrooms are all ritual items for the Spirit Games. It’s a superstition that if these items are not in the holder’s possession during the games, that they cannot win. Y/N recognised the logo on the baton. The manatee belongs to the State College of Florida. They have been an exception into the games, even though they didn’t qualify the past few years. That was the stick taken out of Alison Cable’s room. Alison attended University of Colorado; whose mascot is Milo the Lynx. Alison would only have the baton with her team mascot on; unless she took another teams.”

Rossi faced Y/N.

“What are the other items that are need for the ritual?”

“So, there’s the baton for band, pompom for cheer, captains arm band for soccer, mouthguard from the quarterback for football, and sweatband from point guard for basketball. If one is taken, then it’s considered bad luck for all the teams of that university.”

JJ turned towards Hotch.

“The pompom that Melissa Druid’s mother described was dark blue. Melissa attended the University of Georgia. Their colour is red.”

Prentiss agreed.

Hotch looked at Y/N.

“Are you positive about this?”

Y/N began to doubt herself. Worrying that she might have overthought it all. Her breathing picked up once again until Spencer squeezed her hand. With his empty hand, he pointed at his hair, then fiddled with his tie, then pulled up his trouser leg to show his unmatched socks. He was helping Y/N stay grounded.

Y/N looked at Spencer in wonder; all she could think at that moment was how special Spencer Reid truly was. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath in and out, calming herself down.

As she opened her eyes, she locked them onto Hotch’s.

“Without a shadow of a doubt.”

Hotch nodded his head in approval.

“Morgan and Prentiss, I need you to go back to the first victims’ home. Re-assess the room and ask if either a mouth guard, sweatband, or arm band has gone missing. Question the parents about the Spirit Games. Rossi and JJ, I need you to look into the alumni on the board of the Spirit Games. Get Garcia to do checks on all potential members who had gone to the State College of Florida; correlate it to our profile. Reid, you’re coming with me. We’re going to the State College of Florida. Y/N may I have a brief word?”

Y/N looked towards Spencer. She knew that Hotch would want to speak to her. There was no way he would ignore her bursting into the room, not only holding onto Spencer for dear life, but also looking as dishevelled as she did.

Letting go of Spencer’s hand, she turned to follow Hotch out of the door. As they stood in the hallway, Y/N couldn’t stay quiet with the anxiety pushing her thoughts out of her mouth.

“Hotch, I know it doesn’t look the best, but I promise that Spencer and I were not fraternising.”

She couldn’t handle the blank stare that Hotch aimed towards her, so she continued to talk.

“When I got the position on the team, I made sure my anxiety was under control. I went to therapy. I learnt techniques and I took steps away when I felt overwhelmed. I made sure not to overwork myself. It was going fine. But this case made it feel like we were getting nowhere. I didn’t want you all coming back to find out I had found nothing new. I began to get anxious and I fled the room before you came in. Spencer found me in one of the interrogation rooms. He helped calm me down from my panic attack. I promise you, that’s all that happened. I will keep it under control.”

Hotch waited for Y/N to finish talking, allowing her to take some breathes.

“We all have things we want to keep to ourselves from the team. Privacy is hard to have in this line of work. I didn’t tell anyone about Hailey and I separating until months after. But something like anxiety needs to be told. We can help you Y/N, you’ve seen that yourself today.”

Y/N nodded her head.

“Coping with anxiety and panic attacks do not make you inept to be a part of this team. Each one of us deal with something that make us believe that were a hinderance. But it’s not and it will never be. So, I know it’s hard, but stop worrying about how the team view you. Your part of the family now and if that means having to take a step away or flagging someone over to help calm a panic attack then by all means do it. But I can say that it seems like the best person helped you today.”

Y/N blushed at Hotch’s words, noticing the ghost of a smile on the man’s face.

“Now go to the room and take a rest. When you feel up to it, join Rossi and JJ with contacting Penelope when looking into the alumni and Spirit Games board. You’ve been a massive help so far, don’t think otherwise.”

Hotch squeezed Y/N’s shoulder as he walked past her to re-enter the room.

She watched as each member filed out to go to their assigned task. Her eyes caught Spencer’s as he left the room. Just as he began to walk towards her, Hotch called Spencer over; insisting that they left straight away.

Y/N mouthed bye to Spencer as he waved back. Their gaze not breaking until he walked out of the precinct.

Heading back into the room, Y/N notice Rossi and JJ in discussion.

“Hey guys, is it alright if I take a quick nap? It’ll only be 10 minutes at most.”

Rossi and JJ smiled towards Y/N. The team having been debriefed slightly by Hotch about what had occurred. She didn’t mind. Like Hotch said, they were family and they were there to help.

Rossi opened his arms as he beckoned Y/N into his embrace. She followed his orders and wrapped her arms around her superior. She smiled as JJ rubbed her arms and leaned her head on hers in comfort.

“Take all the time you need Sleeping Beauty; we will be right here.”

Y/N chuckled at Rossi’s nickname for her.

Releasing herself from the hold, she thanked her two friends as she laid down on the sofa. Shifting to become comfortable, her eyes instantly rolled shut from the fatigue of the emotions that had flooded from her body in the past 45 minutes. It didn’t take long until she was deep in the world of sleep.

Rustling and conversation could be heard as Y/N slipped back into conscious. Her eyes still heavy as she refused to open them for a little longer. She could hear the voices of the team around her.

“Is everything packed and ready to go?”

“Looks like it, just got to wake Sleeping Beauty up and we can head to the jet. What don’t you give her true loves kiss, Prince Charming?”

“Actually, Prince Charming is in affiliation to the story of Cinderella. You mean to refer to Prince Philip from the Disney production. In Sleeping Beauty’s original story, the “hero” is a king who meets a beautiful sleeping princess and decides to rape and impregnate her while she’s sleeping. So, I think I will just awaken her as one usually would.”

Y/N couldn’t help but giggle at Spencer’s rebuttal to Morgan.

“Well, it doesn’t seem like you need to Pretty Boy, because Sleeping Beauty is awake.”

Y/N opened her eyes as she rubbed them excessively to clear her vision. She saw Spencer sat on the edge of the couch, his satchel at his feet. Looking around the room, she noticed all the team’s stuff packed; her bag and coat neatly laid on the table. The only people in the room was her, Spencer and Morgan.

“How long was I asleep for?”

“4 hours, 2 minutes, and 36 seconds from when JJ text us that you had fallen asleep.”

Y/N groaned at the clarification that she had slept so long. By the lucks of the packed-up items, the team had found the unsub.

“I can’t believe I slept through everything. Someone should have awoken me.”

Derek chuckled as he threw his back over his shoulder, grabbing the last two boxes in the room.

“We were going to but Prince Phillip over here went into a ramble about the importance of sleep in relation to dealing with anxiety and stress. Just following the doctor’s orders. Even Hotch was afraid to go against his wishes. We’re leaving in five, so I’ll meet you both downstairs.”

Derek left the room, leaving Y/N and Spencer sitting in baited silence.

Neither knew what to say. They had crossed over into a territory of friendship that neither were expecting. Feelings that weren’t apparent before was now clear to themselves. Y/N had always found Spencer fascinating. Spencer was usually weary of new team members, but he had warmed to Y/N very quickly. He wouldn’t have touched her hands if he hadn’t.

“We better not leave them waiting any longer, or else they’ll think I’ve fallen to sleep again.”

Spencer chuckled at Y/N, following her actions as she grabbed her bag. He walked to the door, waiting for her as she put on her coat. Holding the door open, Spencer gestured for Y/N to leave first, the woman thanking him as he turned off the light behind her.

Luckily, the police station was close to the hanger. As Y/N and Spencer joined the team outside, it took them not even 10 minutes to arrive by car.

As the team boarded the jet, idle conversation flowed between the group. Talks of weekend plans and food that would be ordered when people arrived home.

Y/N stood from her seat by Emily and across from Spencer and Morgan.

“No one look at my cards. I’m going to make a coffee, does anyone want one?”

There was a chorus of no from the group as she walked to make her drink.

Pouring the liquid into her cup, Y/N’s chest suddenly felt tight. Her hands beginning to shake; spilling the hot liquid on her hand. Hissing at the pain, she went into the bathroom to put her hand under cold water. As the pain. In her hand subsided, the one in her chest rose again. She could feel another panic attack happening. The only thought she had was to get to Spencer.

Opening the bathroom door, she felt relief as she noticed that Spencer now sat alone on the sofa, flickering through some paperwork that they would more than likely complete once they got back to Quantico.

Not even thinking, Y/N headed straight for Spencer, startling him as she plopped down beside him.

Y/N took deep breathes, once again matching them with Spencer’s.

Spencer glanced at Y/N as he recognised what she was doing. Not wanting to cause a scene with the team which could elevate Y/N’s anxiety Spencer nonchalantly linked his left hand with Y/N’s right one. Repeating the actions, he had done so in the interrogation room.

“What’s your favourite dinosaur?”

Y/N looked over at Spencer as he asked the question. She watched as he put down the file; giving her his undivided attention. Her eye’s flashed down to his socks as she relayed his question in her head.

“My favourite dinosaur is the Apatosaurus. But my favourite prehistoric creature is the Carcharocles Megalodon.”

Spencer couldn’t help but beam at Y/N’s answer.

“Did you know that even though megalodons and dinosaurs are both extinct, they never coexisted. The dinosaurs died out about 66 million years ago. Megalodons came later. The oldest megalodon fossils are from the Miocene Epoch, which began 23 million years ago.”

Y/N felt the pain in her chest ease as she turned to face Spencer, her hands unconsciously moving to fiddle with the one in his grasp. Spencer tried to keep the colour of his cheeks down as he felt her play with his fingers.

“It makes sense.”

Spencer looked at her in confusion.

“Why?”

Y/N couldn’t help but laugh as she answered.

“Because Megalodons would have ruled during the dinosaur’s existence. The minute they go near the water, bam, Megalodon has its dinner.”

Falling deeper into their conversation, Y/N and Spencer were blissfully unaware of the attention from the team they were receiving.

“They seem to be enjoying each other’s company.”

The team chuckled at JJ’s remark.

“Look closely folks because we’re going to be telling this story at their wedding one day.”

The team looked on, watching as the two profilers interacted.

They may not have known Y/N long, but they had all known Spencer long enough to know that what they were seeing was the beginning of something incredibly special.

‘There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.’- Sarah Dessen.

A/N- I will be looking into other subjects in my next imagines so I hope you enjoy. The way I’ve portrayed anxiety and panic attacks is how I have experienced them in ways. I haven’t gone into depths how truly bad I have dealt with them because I’m writing it for the character. So I understand please understand if it doesn’t reflect how you may deal or know someone who deals with anxiety and panic attacks experience it. X

Tagged list- @danielleslegacy​

#spencer reid imagines #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #Matthew Gray Gubler #matthew gray gubler imagine #matthew gray gubler imagines #matthew gray gubler x reader #criminal minds imagine #Criminal Minds #criminal minds x reader

[adiwriting]

So I feel like after the last episode, Kaliz (is that Kyle/Liz/Max..?) is going to become canon… I’m a big KyLiz fan and I feel like with the power of Kyle and Liz combined they could bring out the best in Max…

Oh man. Listen- I’m a huge fan of Kaliz. I just think there is a lot of benefit to every one of those characters within that triad. Kyle/Liz is such a great pairing because of the history, family, and genuine love between them. Echo are clearly soulmates, so there’s that. But then we get Max/Kyle and I think this season has really shown what a strong pairing that is. Kyle clearly cares a great deal for Max and vice versa.

Kyle is struggling a bit this season. He’s overworked and a bit lost but finds his purpose by helping others. He gives and gives of himself until there is nothing left. Liz would challenge him. She could help him learn to take things for himself and aim high (once she herself learned to give as much as she takes). Max would be endlessly supportive and would make sure that Kyle rested. He would be the kind of boyfriend to see one of their friends asking Kyle for non-emergent help and step in the middle and say “he’ll help tomorrow.” And then would remind Kyle he needs to rest his brilliant mind too and drive him home to make sure he did just that.

Liz has a lot of abandonment issues left over from her mom. She’s never felt quite good enough, which is why her ambition is so high (at the point of being destructive at times). She’s trying to prove her worth. She’s got big goals and when she meets them and she still isn’t fulfilled, she makes bigger ones. And she’s always going to leave before she can be left. That’s a lot of energy to take on for one person. Kyle has the ability to tell Liz all of her faults and say the hard truths she needs to hear, while simultaneously loving her through them and being supportive. She needs someone to tell her no that she’ll hear. Kyle doesn’t accept any of her bullshit. But he’s also loyal and at her side and never leaving. That’s important for Liz. Then we have Max. Need I say more? I think we all know the many many ways that Max loves Liz and how that has helped her open up her heart more. With the combined love of Kyle and Max, I believe Liz can start to get over her fear of being left and her need to leave first. I think they can both find ways to support her work and make her feel valued enough for her to find her worth in more than just her work.

Then there’s Max. Max has got his own mountain of self worth issues that he has kept deeply hidden his entire life because he doesn’t think he’s allowed to have them. Max who, could arguably be diagnosed with depression when his melodrama isn’t being played for a laugh or used against him in an argument. Kyle has shown such genuine care for Max this season that it’s hard not to see how good that is for Max. To have somebody concerned about his wellbeing and constantly looking after him and wanting to help. Kyle would take care of his physical health, sure sure. But I imagine that Kyle would be the first to suggest Max take care of his mental health. To try and convince him to find a therapist to talk to. To help him figure out how to talk through his issues without revealing the alien of it all. To prescribe him his first anti-depressant and/or anti-anxiety meds. Kyle would care about Max’s every need and attend to it, and after everything in Max’s life started falling apart and he started to lose himself last season... that would mean everything to Max. Then there’s Liz. Max’s Liz. Who is clearly his soulmate. The only woman who’s ever truly been able to make him happy. Liz’s love will go a long way in helping him find the boy he once was... and if that boy never existed, maybe find the guy he wants to be? Help ground him to Earth and Max Evans and remind him of what he’s fighting all these demons for.

So, do I think this show will give me Kaliz? No. I don’t believe the show would ever go there (despite 2.06). But man am I enjoying every single scene this season that’s fueling the fire! I’ll take them all and then headcanon a triad relationship into it.

#kaliz #roswell nm #rnm spoilers #it’s not quite a spoiler #but to be safe #kyle valenti #liz ortecho #max evans

[vidavalor]

Beginning to think that Sam was helping Bucky to hide...

The canon is asking us to believe that The Winter Soldier stayed hidden for ages without anyone being able to find him. Yes, Bucky’s skilled and all that but considering that The Winter Soldier ran away from Steve and Tony’s fight and disappeared... uh, exactly how did he stay disappeared for *that* long? Especially with Steve and Sam looking for him? Steve didn’t find him until the Sokovia Accords/Zemo situation forces Bucky out of hiding but Steve is also The Avenger who is the least technologically-savvy... but Sam? Sam is plenty technologically-savvy. 

Do we really believe that Sam never found Bucky that entire time? Better question: Do we really believe that Sam-- based on everything we know about him-- would choose to tell Steve if he did? Because while I’m sure he didn’t love lying to his friend, Sam would absolutely see what would happen if he told Steve he had found Bucky. 

Steve believed in the system. He believed in following a certain path. Sam had and has a different lived experience in the world-- one that causes him to think more critically of the ramifications of the system and a bit more big-picture than Steve did. If Sam told Steve that he found Bucky, Steve would say that the next step would be to get Bucky to come with him and the government would take it from there-- a government that likely was looking to hold Bucky responsible for his actions as The Winter Soldier or, worse, might see a weapon they could gain control over and have no interest in helping Bucky get beyond The Winter Soldier. Instead, they might be looking to use him. Steve knows that there can be evil factions within government but he chooses to take a rosier approach to all of it-- assuming that others will act with integrity and seeking to stop them if they don’t. Sam is different. 

Sam is a war veteran who identifies with the PTSD Bucky is suffering and has seen plenty of other soldiers go through something similar, if not quite on the same scale as Bucky. He knows what it is to be a Black man in America and love a country that has a government that is set up not to favor you. He has seen how it has failed its veterans and he’s savvy enough to know that handing Bucky over to the government is basically handing him over to be at least imprisoned again, if not further weaponized against his will. 

Sam found Bucky, probably not that long after Bucky disappeared. He was able to reassure Bucky that he wasn’t there to arrest or hurt him but to help him and Bucky took the risk to try to trust him because he had seen him with Steve and figured he might be able to. Sam never told Steve he found Bucky and on those nights when Team Cap did their own thing, Wanda wasn’t the only one who went to go visit someone she cared for in secret. 

This would help to explain why Bucky and Sam are already at a state of Sam-can-touch-Bucky-without-him-freaking-out and Bucky-is-already-looking-at-Sam-like-he-hung-the-moon in Endgame. They’ve actually had a secret relationship for a couple of years already (pre-Blip, anyway.) Most of it by then also took place during a time when Bucky *was still technically programmed as The Winter Soldier*, which would also add to the levels of trust they’ve built up that we see, especially in the early parts of TFATWS, when they seem to already have more than we’ve seen them earn with one another.

To be clear: I’m not saying they were romantically/sexually involved necessarily when Bucky was in hiding. I’m saying Sam-- the war veteran, the PTSD survivor, the counselor-- took one look at Bucky and knew what telling Steve where he was would bring about and couldn’t do that to him. He felt Bucky deserved a chance to find his way back to his own mind and have a life and he wasn’t about to put a fellow soldier back in physical or psychological chains so he just kept missing that slippery Winter Soldier! for a couple of years while on the run with Team Cap, figuring that the on-the-run bit would eventually work itself out and he could go back to his normal life, though still keeping tabs on Bucky. He likely went further than just not telling Steve as well-- maybe helping Bucky with technology, cover IDs, etc, to keep him going. 

In the process, they became friends, probably both beginning to feel more than that as time went on but not really pursuing it but that could also explain the contradiction between Sam being very aware of Bucky’s various struggles in a way that shows they’ve talked about them (as we see in TFATWS) but also giving him a lot of space and putting up necessary distance during that same time. His response to meeting Dr. Raynor is one of real relief and gratitude that she’s helping someone who is very important to him (he really sounds like Bucky’s husband, meeting his therapist for the first time-- all this before the couple’s counseling, of course.) I am not saying that Sam *should* be taking all this on because he shouldn’t be, regardless of whether or not he’s in love with Bucky. They’re friends and that alone means they need to be supportive of one another but it wouldn’t be ethically right for Sam to act as a therapist to Bucky, even if he wanted to. It has too many conflicts and it changes the balance of power in their relationship. I think what we see in the canon, though, could be explained as Sam was there when he was the only one Bucky had when Bucky was in hiding, which was also when they didn’t really know one another at first. The fact that Sam has taken steps to both continue to be there for Bucky as his friend and be supportive of him but to make sure that Bucky has other resources for this process is actually a really strong indicator that Sam's relationship with Bucky has evolved to a point where he would find it conflicting to be helping to manage Bucky’s trauma recovery. If he and Bucky were just casual acquaintances? If Bucky was just another vet at the VA, like the many Sam helped in his groups back in the day? Sam would be there to help devise those recovery plans. But that he’s taken a step back in that particular way? That he remains there for Bucky emotionally and supportive of him but gave him the space he needed in Wakanda and is happy that he had a therapist in New York? It suggests that Sam wants a different kind of relationship with Bucky-- at minimal, a very close friendship. More likely, a romantic relationship down the line, when and if Bucky was able to recover enough to be in a place to consider one. (Not that Sam was telling Bucky any of this until recently but...) 

But yeah, while it seems like a couple of months at least have gone by between Endgame and TFATWS, even that amount of time-- especially considering Bucky going on a bit of a PTSD/self-loathing pull back towards the beginning and not really responding to Sam’s texts-- doesn’t seem like it’s enough time for the level of intimacy Sam & Bucky already have when we first see them together in the second episode. Them having a secret relationship while Bucky was in hiding, though? Slowly earning some trust from one another? It would also help to explain why Sam is the only one who can touch Bucky without him being bothered by TFATWS and how Sam knows Bucky well-enough to not give up on him, to know what his triggers are and to not miss a beat after Bucky went AWOL for a few weeks and stopped answering his texts. He’s not really upset about it and is teasing him basically the second they see one another again, which indicates both that Sam has enough affection for and understanding of Bucky that a few unanswered texts isn’t going to break them and that Bucky trusts Sam, even when he’s frustrated with him, and puts in the effort to make things work between them because he cares about him. 

#sambucky #sam wilson #bucky barnes #the falcon #captain america #the winter soldier #tfatws #marvel #mcu