#im' so tired i feel like i may be sick both today and yesterday

[amerasdreams]

researching about russia does make you paranoid because they do go to such extreme lengths sometimes to persecute people who do barely anything against the regime.

like, i know they're not trying to poison ME for just some social media posts, i'm not russian or near russia, but that comes to mind when i feel sick (when I haven't been sick since covid in 2022), or if I get some sort of scam online, I think they're targeting me specifically

It's almost 99% unlikely... but you can't put anything past them at this point.

i mean, if i were actually being effective, which would be more likely if i had a wide audience, i can see they might -- might-- try something. but i'm a nobody.

plus i'm really tired rn which makes me irrational (I'm sooo tired that I think i might be sick, which triggered all this. More than even the normal tiredness after running around all weekend - just 4 visits 4 miles away.... but also with some paranoia about them bc I HAVE had incidents before. when you've had something happen it does appear more prominently in your mind)

I do comment and share things I can't help but share... because I can't stay silent. when people are so immune to seeing evil in front of their face

and I don't look at replies to comments on youtube or instagram bc I know a lot are probably negative, perhaps trolls (i've seen some and I don't need that negativity)

#i unfriended my uncle bc he was making irrational comments on fb #i can't keep replying to his conspiracy addled comments #every time i write about russia he's like waht about america it does all this bad and we aren't free and i'm like #don't you see #and he's like we're propping up ukraine #ha maybe he's targeting me #all this silliness online about nazis and Jews being nazis or wahtever #i literally saw a post today about how Jews are causing the war because they want to make a nother jewish state or??? some nonsens #you have to have integrity and sense of reality #and i know ppl aren't targeting me #perhaps with words i'm not listening to them bc they're iditos #most likely trolls #im' so tired i feel like i may be sick both today and yesterday #my mind isn't working. that sounds like covid #but i have no other symptoms #stomach hurt some last night but... #it's novichok!! #ahah

[katnissimabottom]

her.

a/n: vent post??? wrote a pov story about me and my old crush but with different character names than irl. abt deluding urself abt him liking you when he was chasing after someone else the whole time. includes entries from my real diary ;-; i feel like many other teens can relate so yeah im posting this

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tuesday, August 15, 2023

His pov:

I was running through the rain on my way home from school. As soon as I turned the corner, I saw a girl. A girl sitting on a bench overlooking the soaking beach. I was cold and wet, but my curiosity took over this time. I approached her, realizing who it was. "What is Trinity doing here?" I thought. I wondered how she was.

Her pov:

"Are you okay?" he asked me. Why would he check on me? I was doing fine on my own. 

I cloud my mind with delusions and hope. I need to stop doing that. He doesn't like me. 

I moved some of my drenched hair from my face and gave my warmest smile and nod. Likely convincing enough. I turned to face the beach again. 

He started, "May I sit?"

"Of course." I started using my sleeve to wipe the water from the seat next to me. 

"Do you like the rain?" he asked, making conversation. 

"Yes."

Ugh, hope again.

"What do you like about it?" 

"It's peaceful." My voice remained monotonous. "One would rather be alone than lonely, right?"

"Yes."

Lies. The rain made me feel both.

His pov:

"It's so beautiful," she whispered.

"It is beautiful."

I hate the rain, but I wasn't lying when I called it beautiful. There was a certain aspect of the moment. I imagine that Trinity is Marie, then I feel all the more better. That's what Trinity wants anyway. I'll let her down slowly.

Her pov:

"Well, I'd better get going," he stood up, patting the dampness from his clothing. He was breathtaking in the rain.

I shot a smile, traces of grief lingering at the corners of my mouth. I seriously wanted him to know the pain that he caused me, but I didn't want it to be obvious. I didn't want to tell him. I wanted it to have been some epiphany. I was a spiteful person, I'd admit. I wanted him to feel bad despite my love and adoration for the boy. If he wanted me he could have gotten me. At least that was obvious enough. 

Her Diary:

Friday, May 26, 2023

I’m really fucking miserable with my situation and I hate it. I just hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I’ve done enough. I’ve sent him a valentine, and I’ve pretty much confessed to him. The last thing I needed - on the day of our sleepover, too - was for Crystal to have asked him if he liked me. Even worse, in front of me. I practically kill myself for him. I’m late to school most mornings because I spend so much time trying to look good for him, only to go to school and see him clinging to another girl. I just really fucking miss how we were for this brief period of time. Before Talia and Marie, before he was “taken over.” It all started in science, when he turned around and quizzed me on my own shirt.

I’ve changed a lot. I'm more awkward around him now because I didn’t use to have a crush on him. I wish I would’ve struck before Marie came along because she’s so flawless and I have no chance with her around. Anyways, I love him so fucking much and he knows it, so why hasn’t he like.... yk.

Tuesday, June 13, 2023

It’s hard when the source of your pain is also the thing you love most. Like, I’ve been rlly sick yesterday and today and he saw how tired and miserable I was today. He knows that it was bad enough that I went home early. He never talked to me, but I guess it’s selfish of me to ask that of him. My fist balled up when Marie stood in the end of math class and said, “I’ll wait for you.” Or how they both smile when they get shipped. How long will it take him to choose me? Is he truly too young? Or does he feel stuck? Or can he rlly just not be able to choose between us? Or does he not like me but “agreed” under pressure. 

He has my phone number, and he could have just checked in with me. What I said to him, through text when I confessed, I said that I rlly wish we were closer but that there wasn’t rlly anything we could do abt it. He said that he agreed, but then why doesn’t he ever text first? I get that he’s shy or likes to take it slow or wtv, but I’ve made it obvious that I like him. I’ve already experienced enough shame, so if he actually agrees, he has nothing to lose. If he wanted to break my heart he could, but I don’t think he wants to. I have this gut feeling that he likes me, anyway. But what he doesn’t realize is that my impatience and jealously is slowly breaking my heart as well as a true heartbreak would.

My mom and friends always say, “Well if he can’t see that you are better than her, he’s not worth it.” I try to have that mentality, but I don’t think they know how deep this is. I’ve never felt this much for someone. I want to marry him. He’s all I care about. Simp, I know. But it hurts when people call me that. Even friends like Kate who seems to care a lot about their crush still have hobbies. My only hobbies are snapchat and video games. It rlly sucks. If I could turn my attachment level down a notch I would, but I’m afraid that if I let go, all the things I’ve done to make him know I like him would just be meaningless embarrassments. So I feel like I need to be attached. However, this summer, I’m don’t think I’m ever gonna see him so that will give me a chance to try and look good for myself, and not some boy. Hopefully it works...

Sunday, October 15, 2023

Ultimately, he chose her. Exactly one month ago today, I got the news. “Dustin is dating Marie.” Him, dating her. I got it from Crystal. Could’ve been a lie. I doubted she was lying. But other people seemed to have known. I sighed at the realization. I smiled, feeling a strange sense of relief if not pain. 

I could never help but love you. You always gave me the impression that you liked me, and no matter how much you tried to hint it wasn’t true, I clouded my mind with delusions and hope and the thought that love finds a way. I like to associate my life with songs I like. Unfortunately, at that, I’m starting to realize that my experience with you that week was much like washing machine heart; at the time I would have thought it as national anthem.

"It's not a struggle, it's an inconvenience. Stop complaining. Struggles are challenges you face against your will. This is just something you lack," I tell myself. 

Every time I bought makeup, clothing, I thought about that brief moment you’d look at me. I was so happy that my hair has been tame lately, because maybe, just maybe you would notice, and think “Oh, she looks pretty.” I’ve done so much, and until recently, I’ve been planning what I’d say for Valentines Day. The song video games makes me feel a certain way and I feel like putting it into a playlist and listening to it, feeling happy. But the true reason why I love the song is out of my reach. I know I acted too obsessed, but I hoped that it would have at least gotten me somewhere. You’ve taken the love I’ve given, and given it to her, the easy choice. The choice without controversy. You don’t know that all those times I listened to those pretty love songs, I’ve thought of you. My idea of my future worked around yours. Though after all, you chose the girl I’ve always wanted to be. The perfect girl. The girl who was always a step ahead; and I can’t blame you.

And no matter how much I thought you like me in our moments, she was, inevitably, always a step ahead.

#hurt #no comfort #angst #teen #pain #delusion #the other woman #sadness #love #pov #konansfavoritewife #tumblr

[murdocking]

𝐁𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐭

c𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝟣; 𝗍𝗌𝗎𝗄𝗂𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗆𝖺 𝗄𝖾𝗂/𝖿𝖾𝗆! 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝖺𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖻𝖾𝖺𝗎𝗍𝗒 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖻𝖾𝖺𝗌𝗍 𝗌𝗍𝗈𝗋𝗒. 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝖻𝖾 𝗋𝖾𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗌𝖾𝖽 𝗂𝗇 𝗆𝗎𝗅𝗍𝗂𝗉𝗅𝖾 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗍𝗌.

𝗐𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌: 𝗇𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝗂𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝖻𝖾𝗌𝗂𝖽𝖾𝗌 𝖽𝖾𝗌𝖼𝗋𝗂𝗉𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝗍𝗋𝖺𝗇𝗌𝖿𝗈𝗋𝗆𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌. 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝖻𝖾 𝖺 𝖿𝖾𝗐 𝖼𝗎𝗋𝗌𝖾 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝖽𝗌 𝗈𝗇𝗅𝗒 𝖻𝖾𝖼𝖺𝗎𝗌𝖾 𝗂 𝖽𝗈𝗇𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗄 𝗂 𝖼𝖺𝗇 𝗐𝗋𝗂𝗍𝖾 𝗉𝗎𝗋𝖾 𝗈𝗅𝖽 𝖾𝗇𝗀𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗁. 𝖺𝗅𝗌𝗈 𝗌𝗈 𝗌𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗒 𝗍𝗈 𝗈𝗂𝗄𝖺𝗐𝖺 𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗇𝗌...𝗆𝗒 𝗆𝖺𝗇 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝖻𝖾 𝗀𝖺𝗌𝗍𝗈𝗇...𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗉𝗎𝗋𝖾 𝗁𝖺𝗋𝗌𝗁...𝗌𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗒 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝗌𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗒 𝖫𝖬𝖠𝖮𝖮𝖮 𝗂 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗁𝗂𝗆 𝖻𝗎𝗍... 𝗐𝖾 𝗇𝖾𝖾𝖽𝖾𝖽 𝖺 𝗀𝖺𝗌𝗍𝗈𝗇

Lights adorned every crevice of the wonderous palace, the land decorated with vibrant flowers covering the twisting vines on the archway to the prince’s home. Carriages and stallions littered the entrance of the stone castle, beautiful people with smiles on their faces made their way to the open doors where music played by the talented Takeda swarmed the main room. As couples whispered small compliments to each other and gossiping mothers chose appetizers for their husbands and children- the prince was being dolled up by his irritatingly clingy friends.

“please tsukki- it’s just a little more left-“ “I cannot even breathe through this disgusting paste on my face- god can these imbeciles leave this is pointless.” The prince sighed in heavy annoyance, his blonde hair being tied back (he swore he was going to grab one of Miss Yachi’s knives and cut it himself) and glasses thrown on the vanity’s hardwood. “oh be quiet- its only for a few hours not to mention you enjoy ridiculing your people Tsukishima.” Sugawara grumbled, tired of his complaints as he mixed more water in his brush to loosen its bristles; to which Tsukishima jerked his head, standing up to look down on his older companion. “don’t you forget your place.” Yamaguchi simply stares at the articulate tile below his foot, wanting nothing more than to be immersed into the joy the people displayed outside of the stuffy room he was currently in.

Ukai stands behind his companion, Takeda, while his delicate fingers hit every key on his piano perfectly- simply whispering to him about future songs the two would be playing later during the prince’s ball; Takeda would answer with a distracted tone to all the questions Ukai posed, frustrated the blonde to no end.

“you’re lucky you have an excuse not to be paying attention right now, Takeda.” “of course, that’s perfect monsieur Ukai.” “god dam- “

The moon seemed to be even brighter that night, and to Tsukishima Kei- it was as though the gods had decided to mock his name as he spent another year alone for his birthday, hands of his ‘servants’ fixing his appearance while Sugawara spoke with faux pride in the main room to introduce his prince. The room filled with harsh silence as Tsukishima’s tall stature stepped quietly down the carpeted steps with an uninterested gaze over the crowd of people he didn’t know, and didn’t wish to know. “my prince, it is my honor to begin your-“

The dark doors that had been shut close suddenly opened, the creak of its hinges holding more volume than Sugawara or Takeda could have ever wished to achieve. A battered down woman limped in, her hair was thin against her fragile face- her wrinkles holding dirt and mud, evidence of tough travel conditions. Tsukishima could barely contain his chuckle at her appearance.

“m-my prince…! Please, if you would be so kind a-as to help me, I seem to ha-“ “and you have the pure audacity to enter my home, disgustingly ruining the beauty of this ball…and not even bring me a gift…? You are a bold woman…” Tsukishima scoffed under his breath, Yamaguchi frowned at just how hurtful his best friend had become. “b-but my prince, I do bring you a gift…” she turned to her worn down and sopping satchel, pulling a beautiful rose that even Sugawara could smell from his place in the middle of the room. Its petals shimmered in the candlelight of the party- and its green stem was of such a pigment that all attending were sure not even the finest of painters could achieve such a hue.

Tsukishima breathes hard, walking closer to the elderly woman before gently taking the rose. He stares at it a moment, his hands moving on their own as he throws it behind his back with a small “oops”. the woman stared at his highness in pure disbelief, his arrogance had upset her to the highest degree.

“very well.” she stands up, and its as though she was growing in front of Tsukishima as he stared at the elderly woman morph into a beautiful woman who seemed to only be in her 20s. ‘well fuck?’ she held a strong glare at him as her ripped hood lifted off of her short brown hair, twisting into dark silver crown that never met her strands of hair. “Tsukishima Kei.” He gulped slightly, his hands grabbing onto the end of his shirt as he tried to focus on the (slightly blurry) scene before him, the lady easily moving behind him to grab the flower he had earlier discarded. “although appearances may be deceiving, all should know who you really are at heart” her delicate hand pushed harshly against his chest, her eyes never moving from his “I damn you to become what you really are” her finger snapped in front of his face and stole his coming breath instantly. “a detestable beast.”

When he opens his mouth to retort, a scream erupts instead as his bones and joints of his hands felt like they were being stretched by a torture machine, his spine felt contorted against his caving and heaving stomach. the enchantress watches in amusement, her stare towards his party held no remorse as the flick of her wrist opened the doors once more. “I will count down from 30. You have that long until you join your dearest prince.” it was something out of a manic state that made families depart without a care for each other- a child being separated from their father, and a man being lost without his love. the cooks in the far back of the palace broke the windows with a poor attempt of leaving the horror of the castle as Tsukishima’s screams of pure agony and pain changed into animalistic growls. the enchantress twirls the rose in her hand, her voice of honey contrasting the words that fell out of her mouth “if by the last petal falls, and you have truly loved someone and they have loved you back- you and everyone here will be free from my curse. However,” she cranes her neck and motions her hand downwards- closing the gates to the castle and boarding up all the glass pane windows, “if not, you will forever be a beast. And everyone here will be part of your castle- for eternity.” And with a final roar of protest and pain, Tsukishima had truly become a beast.

 -----

“I don’t think I understand that- how could you be selling a whole loaf of bread for 3 coins yesterday and today it is 7 coins for half of a stale loaf? What sick game are you playing here, Bokuto?” You speak with annoyance, tapping your foot on the stone floor while your friend gives you a short smirk “im not playing anything besides business. That, my friend, was merely a discount. You have to pay my full price.” He retorts, giving a smile to a child as the boy hands the older one a bag of coins- setting two loaves of fresh bread onto the kid’s small hands “now I know you’re lying straight to my face, Bokuto.” You say, stuffing your hand into your dirty dress pocket, counting the silver coins in your head as you pull out 2 more before pressing them onto the wooden table. “there’s no way I’d be receiving your ‘discount’ for nearly 19 years. Just give me the bread and I’ll be on my way.” he ponders for a moment, his eyes getting lost in the crowd when he sees the black tuff of hair wandering through the middle of it. “fine, just this onc-“ “thank you Bokuto pleasure doing business with you!” You quickly snatch the fresh bread beside him instead of the one you two had previously agreed on, to which you heard his protests fade out as you stuffed the bread into your woven basket. you greet the widow by the bookstore with a wave and a quarter of poorly cut bread.

“you know, you never have to give me this my dear.” “it is alright though! Kou always lets me off the hook, so I don’t mind sharing Ms.” You say, giving a curt nod before departing- heading inside to catch the eye of Akaashi, his eyes quickly scanning your outfit and bag, seeing the bread inside. “he was looking for you again” “should I feel honored?” you scoff, and he lightly rolls his eyes as he hands you the newest supply of books. “im sorry to disappoint, Y/n- but all we have are the same old stories. Even I’m getting tired of them all” the male beside you sighs, rubbing his eyes as you coyly take the one on the top of the stack. “oh that’s just fine Akaashi, I don’t mind it. It isn’t like I have much to do anyways” “you could be making friends but I mean, that’s just my input…” “now you-“ “hey akaashi!” Bokutos face suddenly comes in, startling you as Akaashi perks up- giving his friend a wave as his shirt and pants is coated in scattered flour. “bokuto what did I say about cleaning off before coming inside…” “but…” “well! I need to be going! Thank you again Akaashi for the supply. I’ll be back later with the ones I took last week” “you know you don’t have to y/-“ he speaks as you stand up, not wanting to be in the middle of the tense atmosphere. “I don’t mind it, I’ll see you both around okay?”

And as every day, you walk through the bustling town- ignoring the stares and whispers directed at you while you flipped the page of the book you were currently reading, the characters felt more real to you than the literal people bumping into you. you kept walking, following the same dusty stones as the day before to lead up a small hill to your part of town- small chicks running beside your foot as their mother hens stood behind them. “father, I’m home.” silence, he wasn’t home yet.

“you know, in a few years- instead of you saying that it could be our child.” You jump, being caught off-guard by the taunting voice of the most annoying piece of shit you had ever met. “oikawa… I don’t know if you know this, but- you’re quite delusional monsieur!” you speak with a fake pep- his smile never faltering as he gives your free hand a kiss. “oh but imagine the sight y/n. wouldn’t you agree it would be quite exquisite?” “no.” “oh” he stops speaking for a moment before a ‘tsk’ leaves from between his lips. “you know y/n, im honestly doing you a favor by asking you to be my wife. Everyone adores me and…I suppose you- you would be comfortable with me. I mean not to mention,” he leans down a little to meet your eyes, “when your father passes, there will be no suitors for you. of course, you are stunning- but being a wife ah… you’re probably…last on the list there. You wouldn’t want to end up the new village widow, would you? living off the kindness of the townsfolk?” his harsh words slipped from his pretty lips, and you stared in disbelief- you were genuinely hurt. “well,” you cleared your throat, blinking a bit to stop any form of an emotional outburst from rising to the surface. “I would rather be a street rat stealing from whoever than being someone’s medal from his war to show off and be of use for pleasantries.” You say, begging internally you wouldn’t crack under his strong gaze. “wow, I wouldn’t peg you for the type to bite. That only makes you more hm…” he gasps. “irritating.” “you should leave oikawa.” “you know where to find me, Y/n.”

-----

𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘓𝘔𝘈𝘖𝘖 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘪 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘶𝘱 𝘢 𝘧𝘦𝘸 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 + 𝘢 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘬

#tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei x reader #haikyuu x reader #beauty and the beast #beauty and the beast au #haikyuu!! #haikyuu fanfiction #kei tsukishima #kei tsukishima fanfiction #tsukishima fanfiction #sugawara koushi #sugawara fanfiction #yamaguchi fanfiction

[datleggy]

Prompt Fill Part 1/2

I can’t find the exact prompt (im a messy bih) but the gist of it was: Buck is sick and accidentally calls Bobby “dad” or Athena “mom”---I decided to do both. 

It’s July now and it’s never been quite so scorching hot as it is the day Buck’s AC decides to break down. He tries to fix it, spends maybe two hours trying to get it to work again before realizing he’s got a higher chance of catching heat stroke than of getting the damn thing to turn on again. 

He takes a nice cold shower and within minutes of stepping out of his tub he’s dry from the humidity in his loft. It sucks. 

Buck goes to three different stores in the area looking for a new AC unit, only to find out each time they’re all out of stock--- “We can have the model you like shipped to your home or in store for pick up by Monday.” one of the employees tells him, not unkindly. 

It’s the best he’s gonna’ get under the circumstances, but that’s also another three days without an air conditioner he’s going to have to suffer through. In the meanwhile he buys a couple of fans, one for his bedroom upstairs and one for the kitchen downstairs. 

They don’t do much, except blow the hot air around, unfortunately. 

He walks into work the next morning feeling like roadkill--and probably looking like it, too, because the Captain is ushering him to sit down almost immediately upon seeing the state of him. “You getting sick on me?” Bobby tilts Buck’s head up so he can get a better look. His normally bright eyes are glassy and there’s a faint blush of red across his cheeks. 

Buck shakes his head, “No, I’m good, just tired.” he admits. “My AC finally kicked it yesterday---new one’s coming in a couple of days---but til then I gotta deal with the heat. Kept tossing and turning all night.” he sighs. 

Bobby looks at him in wide eyed disbelief. “Buck, LA’s going through a heat wave right now, tonight we’re supposed to hit triple digits, there’s no way you’re staying in that apartment. We’ll drop by your place at the end of our shift, pack you some clothes and toiletries and you can stay with us until your new AC gets delivered. Sound good?” 

It does sound good. Buck knows from experience that during the summers especially Athena cranks up the AC so that their home feels more like a winter wonderland than anything else. But.... “Well, I don’t wanna’ intrude.” He hedges. “I can always ask Maddie---” 

“Maddie’s is a one bedroom and the last time you slept over there on her couch you complained about back pain for about a week, Buck. You know Athena and I don’t mind having you over. Plus, it’s a little lonely without the kids around. It’ll be nice, we can invite Michael over for dinner tonight, make a whole thing of it.” Harry is away at space camp for the next two weeks and May is doing a summer course for college credits until the end of the month. 

Buck hesitates for only a few more seconds before ultimately agreeing to a weekend sleepover at the Grant-Nash household. 

-----------------

It’s late by the time they get off work. 

Bobby’s looking forward to dinner with  everyone later in the night. They drop by Buck’s loft to pick up a duffel bag and the pit stop only reaffirms Bobby’s decision to have the younger man stay over. The loft is brutally hot---stepping inside almost feels like being cooked in an oven. 

Buck is exhausted when they reach home. 

He wants to tell Bobby he’s too tired for dinner and a movie tonight; all he wants to do right this minute is take an ice cold bath and go straight to bed, but he can tell the Captain’s excited to sit down with everyone and Buck’s never been one to purposely ruin a good time for others. 

“Suck it up.” he tells himself. 

Dinner is amazing, as per usual. Buck forces himself to make conversation, forces a grin, eats as much as his stomach can stand at the moment, and is relieved when it’s time to just sit and watch the film Michael brought over. 

“It’s a classic, Bobby, I can’t believe you haven’t seen any of the Lethal Weapon movies.” 

Athena laughs and teases her husband. “Hey, maybe you and Michael can dress up as Murtaugh and Riggs for halloween this year.” 

Bobby looks at the spry and often times reckless character on the screen and shakes his head. “Maybe if I were twenty years younger. Buck, I think you would be the better costume partner in this case.” 

Michael turns to Buck, only to realize the kid has conked out for the night. “Well, would ya’ look at that. The old people outlasted the young.” he chuckles. 

Athena arches her brow at her ex husband. “And who, pray tell, are you calling ‘old’?” 

Bobby laughs, albeit quietly, so as not to wake his sleeping charge. “Makes sense, now that I think about it. Buck didn’t get much sleep last night, given the heat. And today’s shift wasn’t exactly a slow one.” 

They’re only half way through the movie but decide to call it an early night, for Buck’s sake. 

Athena walks Michael out to his car while Bobby goes to wake Buck so that he can change clothes and sleep on an actual bed. “Up and at em, kid, time for bed.” Bobby jostles him gently. 

Buck whines softly but does stir, blinking sluggishly up at Bobby. 

“Come on bud, can’t sleep on the couch, you’ll regret it in the morning, trust me.” 

Buck is still half asleep when he says, “Don’t wanna’.” burying himself deeper into the cushions underneath him, stubbornly. 

Bobby can’t help but smile at the sight. It’s familiar in a way that used to sting a lot more, but now brings a feeling of warmth, too. “I know, you’re comfortable, but I promise you’ll be a lot more comfortable on a bed, c’mon.” He pulls Buck up by the arms, and though Buck groans and whines, he does let himself be lead to the guestroom. 

Buck took a quick shower before dinner, to wash away the grime of the day, which is one less thing he has to do before bed. Bobby can tell the kid’s beyond exhausted, so he lets him sit on the edge of the bed while he digs through Buck’s duffel bag for a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. “Alright, here we are, change into these and you can--” Bobby sighs. 

Of course Buck is curled up atop the sheets, already fast asleep, by the time he turns around. 

“Buck,” Bobby leans over the bed and shakes him, but it’s no use. The fire Captain scoffs fondly and goes about untying Buck’s shoes and carefully taking them off his feet. The kid’s body isn’t even fully on top of the mattress, for goodness sake. One of his legs is still dangling off the side and his head doesn’t reach any of the pillows. 

Bobby tries one last time to shake him awake, to make him readjust himself to a better sleeping position, but it’s for naught; Buck is knocked out. Bobby takes it upon himself to move Buck, dragging him up so that at least his entire body is on the bed now. 

All the jostling to get him situated right finally does make Buck stir, and big glassy doe eyes blink up at Bobby. “Wha’ happened to the movie?” he mumbles incoherently. 

Bobby shushes him. “Bedtime. Close your eyes. I’ll make those chocolate chip pancakes you like for breakfast tomorrow, yeah?” 

Buck nods groggily, eyelids too heavy to stay open, even if he wanted them to. “’kay.” 

Bobby squeezes his shoulder, just briefly. “Goodnight Buck.” 

“G’night dad.” and just like that, Buck is asleep, face tucked into a pillow, his body curled into itself in a way that makes him look impossibly small. 

Bobby swallows. Hard. 

#911 fox #911 fic #bobby nash #evan buck buckley #athena grant #michael grant #prompt #fill #part 1/2

[pandawritespoorly]

With Time: Chapter 38 - It’s Not Defamation If It’s True

Author’s Note: Who's ready for Gabriel getting his comeuppance?!?!?!

Settle down children, excitement and righteous fury is no excuse to forget your manners. Now get your snacks and get comfortable.

I hope you enjoy!

Chapter Summary: Gabriel underestimates the power of teenagers who care for their friend.

Edit: Whoops! I didn't check my comments in the doc! Strong language warning! "fucking"

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Marinette knows it’s spring because she wakes up easily. It’s always easier to wake up during spring, and, given her energy, it can be harder to rest.

She suspects Tikki is already up, enjoying the sun on the balcony. At the thought, the girl scrambles to get ready so she can enjoy the weather.

She’s done in record time, grabbing her phone as she joins Tikki.

 Kid Mime: good morning my faithful fair funny fast fancy festive fizzy funky friends

 Melodie: ‘Fizzy’?

 Kid Mime: i ran out of f adjectives

 Felix: You already had seven without that one.

 The Mom Friend: i think you did great

The Mom Friend 10/10 wood read again

 Kid Mime: yay!!

 Patisserie Princess: hiiiiii!!!!!!!

 Kid Mime: wats this????

Kid Mime: mari up??

 Melodie: With time to text too!

 Patisserie Princess: yep

Patisserie Princess: its spring!!!!!

 The Mom Friend: any of ur flowers blooming yet

 Patisserie Princess: not yet

Patisserie Princess: but soon. i can feel it

 Felix: That will certainly be exciting.

 Patisserie Princess: it will be!!!!!!!

Patisserie Princess: (◕ᴗ◕✿)

Patisserie Princess: k im heading out now!!!!!!!

 Kid Mime: byeeeeeeee!!!!!!

 Melodie: See you soon!

“Alright, let’s go, Tikki!” Marinette hops up from her chair, giving Tikki a moment to hide in her purse before hurrying downstairs. She shouts goodbye to her parents as she heads to school.

It’s so sunny, and she’s smiling wide. Today is a good day.

She arrives at school in what must be record time. She spots Allan and Claude walking into the building together and joins them.

“Hi!!!” Marinette chirps.

“Hey, ‘Nette. Good to see you so early,” Allan greets her.

Claude throws their arms in the air. “Marinette! Our sunshine has arrived!!”

“Adrien is our sunshine,” she corrects.

“Hmm.” Claude pretends to think this over. “This is a conundrum.”

“You’re a star,” Allan suggests.

“Yes!! Perfect!”

“You guys are stars too!!” Marinette smiles.

Claude strikes a DramaticPose™. “Well, of course I’m a star!”

Allan and Marinette clap appropriately. A few nearby students join in. Claude bows several times.

“Thank you, thank you!”

Marinette throws a flower at him. “Bravo!”

Claude gasps, clutching the flower to his chest. “The fair maiden has chosen me! I have been awarded a flower from our fair lady!”

Marinette curtsies. “‘Tis no trouble to me, my knight.”

“Shall I escort you and your companion to your court?”

“It would be very kind of you sir, I am expecting company from neighboring kingdoms.”

“Then we shall depart at once!”

With Allan and Marinette snickering, Claude leads the pair to the library where Felix and Allegra are calmly sitting at a table.

“Her royal highness, Our Star has arrived! Her meeting place is quieter than the courtyard, so we shall withhold the fanfare! Trumpets on standby!”

The librarian shoots him a grateful look, and Marinette can hear Allegra and Felix sigh in unison at Claude’s antics. Allegra shuts her book and turns. Allan and Marinette are both struggling to muffle their laughter. Claude has a flower behind his ear and leads the two to the table.

“Greetings fair lady Allegra and lord Felix of kingdoms Coudriet and Voclain! I am delighted to inform you that we have been blessed with the presence of Mademoiselle Dupain-Cheng and Monsieur Poirot!”

Allegra and Felix clap quietly.

“So what brought this on?” Felix queries.

“Marinette gave me a flower!” Claude chirps.

“You look great, Claude. Very cute.” Allegra smiles.

“Thanks! I’m gorgeous!” Claude pretends to flip his hair.

“Oh for sure,” Allan agrees. “Model material over here.”

---

The group is on their way out of school when Marinette gets a call. They slow down so she can talk and walk easier.

“Hello?”

They hear shouting on the other end.

“Well, I’m not opposed, but weren’t we-”

The person on the other end interrupts her.

“He is? Well- What do you mean he’s at school?!”

She pauses.

“Since yesterday? Excuse me, but he wasn’t also working?! Ohhh, he’s a dead man,” she growls. “Does he think-?!”

A sharp retort from the other end.

“It was rhetorical, and you didn’t let me finish.” Marinette rolls her eyes.

More talking on the other end, then the call ends.

“‘Just get over here now’” Marinette mimics, then deadpans, “Thanks for the suggestion, I was planning on touring France first.”

“What’s going on?” Claude asks.

Marinette wrinkles her nose, frowning. “That was Chloe, she says we’re doing it now.”

“Like, now? Weren’t we going to like… finalize things?” Allan asks.

“Oh heck yeah! Finally! That man is going down!” Allegra cheers.

“What happened?” Felix frowns.

Claude looks concerned. “Is Adrien okay?”

“No. He’s been crazy sick since yesterday, and Gabriel is making him go about as usual because he’s trying to get as much stuff out as he can to recover from all the backlash recently. We’re stopping by Dupont to bring him to the bakery, then we’re going to call in some favors a little earlier than anticipated.”

“I wish I could punch him. I wish I could punch him multiple times,” Allegra mutters.

---

Marinette leads them up the stairs of Dupont, and though she’s been attending a different school for the majority of the year, everyone there knows to stay out of her way with that look in her eyes.

She’s on the warpath.

At the library, she finds Chloe and Sabrina, with a very tired Adrien who is sleeping on his textbook.

He’s pale, and his face is flushed. He looks shaky and weak, and Marinette’s heart sinks at her kitty in such a state. She goes up to him, crouching beside his chair and running her fingers through his hair.

His eyes open and he squints at her through his half-open lids, his eyes glazed over.

“Hi.”

“Hey,” she whispers. “Want to go home?”

He nods, barely with her, and she runs her fingers through his hair a little more. His eyes slip closed again. She can hear her friends talking behind her, but that doesn’t matter at the moment. He’s purring, but it’s very quiet, and if she didn’t know better, she’d pass it off as just weird breathing from being so sick.

Keeping one hand in his hair, she stands and turns to her friends. “We’re taking him home now, then we can start finishing this.”

They nod, and Allan speaks up, “Who can carry him?”

Marinette just picks him up, which they all accept as an answer. She frowns. “He shouldn’t be this light.”

“Fucking Gabriel,” Allegra and Chloe mutter.

As she carries him outside, she sees Nino give her a relieved smile. He and Adrien may not hang out much anymore, but he still cares about the model.

When they arrive in the designer’s room, Marinette places him gently on the chaise, settling a blanket over him and sitting in front of him.

Chloe pulls down the sheet from Marinette’s ceiling. It’s covered in various sticky notes and lists. There’s phone numbers scattered about, with lines connecting them to other places. A checklist occupies the corner, with various things marked off, all are connected to some other part of the organized mess.

It’s impressive it all fits.

“Felix, Chloe, if either of you need to step out to speak with the lawyers, then go ahead. Sabrina-”

The other girl smiles, waving her off. “I’m already looking it over.”

“Great, thank you,” Marinette nods.

“I can call about the apartment,” Allegra volunteers.

“Good idea. Then I guess-”

Claude puts a hand on her shoulder. “Mari, it’s okay. We know what to do, you can just take care of Adrien right now.”

She sighs, smiling gratefully, and nodding, turning to Adrien. She tunes out the rest of the room, eyes only for her partner. She sees worried green eyes peering out from his overshirt, and waves at the Kwami subtly. The God simply nods at her and burrows closer to his Chosen.

Putting a hand to his forehead, she confirms that he definitely has a fever. She heads to the kitchen, finding the thermometer, and grabbing a glass of water in case he wants it.

Her room is a busy center for the various plans going on, as everyone assigns themselves tasks to complete to get as much done as quickly as they can. The noise level still manages to remain low, as everyone is aware of the model resting.

“Hey,” Marinette whispers, brushing Adrien’s hair out of his face. “Can I get your temperature quick?”

He manages a nod.

She frowns at the number displayed. “Definitely a fever.”

Adrien hums.

“I’d offer you water, but you probably just want to go back to sleep, huh?”

He slow blinks at her, and she smiles softly, returning the look and squeezing his hand quickly while he continues to sleep. She turns around, sitting against the chaise again.

Marinette gets out a laptop, typing furiously as she gets to work as well, emailing the journalists that Nadja had mentioned to her.

 Hello! You seem as though you’re a reputable reporter who can help me out! I hate to see people getting away with terrible things, and given the current state of the Agreste brand, this seems like a good time to bring this to light. Attached to this email, you’ll find…

 Greetings! I trust you’ll respect my wish to remain anonymous. I understand you specialize in exposés…

 I have attached some stories to this email that did not receive the attention they should have. I believe that this could be a good time for a journalist such as yourself to bring them back to light, so that this may receive the attention it deserves…

 I’d like to remain anonymous, but I thought you’d be interested…

 The Gabriel brand has a history of covering up less than flattering stories, but…

 The designer emails tens of reporters, all about a variety of things that Gabriel’s lawyers had gone to great lengths to keep from reaching the mainstream media. The stories range from everything to the treatment of their workers to claims of art theft, to suspicious movement of money, and more. She contacted people from all over, bloggers, to journalists to news anchors, and more than a few people outside of Paris and even France.

She emailed people mentioned in articles, encouraging them to speak out again. She went to relevant online forums and anonymously mentioned that now would be a good time for the brand’s darker secrets to come to like, if anyone was so inclined, and linked to several other news outlets that would likely take the stories.

She sent a variety of emails to big names in the fashion world, feigning hesitance to purchase from them, given their closeness to someone like Gabriel, who is currently so negatively viewed.

The best part is that all the things she’d mentioned were already true. She and her friends had spent weeks looking for the stories and the interviews that had been ignored and conveniently ‘lost’.  They were going to find even more, but even if they’re doing this early, internet sleuths will be entirely capable of finding it themselves, which will only lead to further waves.

Marinette was sure to ask for anonymity, or even encourage them to not mention her at all. She used different emails and forms of contact, using different styles of writing and, when contacting someone in a different language, she used different levels of fluency in the language. The people she contacted had little to no connections to each other, and she sent a few emails out on various delays.

Even if people suspected one person had been behind all of these reports coming out at once, they wouldn’t be able to tie it back to her, if they even thought that a group of teenagers could be responsible in the first place. Not that this is defamation.

No, that would imply that all of this is made up - and it’s all very, very true.

Gabriel doesn’t stand a chance.

---

Eventually, the others go home. Marinette had made a call to Nathalie to convince (read: threaten) her into letting Adrien have a sleepover. The woman had the nerve to argue that Adrien ‘is sick and needs to be under proper care’.

As if.

His proper care is never in the hands of Nathalie and Gabriel, no, Marinette is more than willing to take care of him.

He’d slept for most of the day. Even with everyone using her room as a headquarters for both Operation Emancipate Adrien and Operation Gabriel Takedown (it’s just more fun to have names, and it makes it feel a little less sad), he’d been dead to the world. She’s eaten dinner, so now she doesn’t really have much else to do.

Why not email some more people?

She’s in the middle of tracking down an article that could be useful when a hand reaches past her and shuts her laptop.

“Mari. Take a break.”

She turns to see a very tired Adrien awake once more, who is attempting to look reprimanding.

“I don’t need a break! I’m just-”

“Shhhhh.” He puts a finger over her mouth. “Don’t give m’ dumb dad all y’ur energy. Do something fun.”

“I’m not giving him all my energy. I’m just making sure he won’t have anything left to stand on. He’s gotten away with how he’s treated you for too long!” She argues.

“By wasting all your en’rgy on him. You guys have done plenty, don’ worry. Jus’... tell me how your garden’s doin’.”

Her face lights up at the question, and she excitedly describes to him how she has not one, not two, but three new sprouts, and how this plant is already blooming, and how that plant is doing so much better since she figured out that it wasn’t getting as much sun as she thought.

She rambles on and on, and he sinks back against the lounge, watching her happily update him on the state of one of her hobbies.

He loves seeing her smile.

He doesn’t realize he’s purring until she gives him a soft smile, just for him, that warms his heart. She starts scratching his head and continues to inform him about how different bugs are actually beneficial to gardens and different natural ways to keep unwanted bugs off plants without harming the plant or the good bugs.

He just lets her talk. His head still hurts, and he’s most certainly still sick, but this? This is nice.

Marinette notices that Adrien’s kitty kisses are beginning to give way to him struggling to keep his eyes open.

“Sleepy, Kitty?”

He hums.

“I’ll let you sleep.”

He reaches out to her slightly.

“Oh, alright. I guess.”

Feigning annoyance, she moves to sit with him on the chaise, hugging him close as he gets comfortable with the new arrangement. With a giant kitten sleeping and purring next to (and partially on) her, it isn’t long before she drifts off to sleep herself.

---

Author’s Note: So how was that? We'll be seeing it finally come to a close in chapter 40 (It's literally titled emancipation), but that focuses more on Adrien settling in to his new life.

I finished writing the last chapters last night. I'm still in shock I think, just a bit. I'll probably write a goodbye to this fic (because I'm sappy like that), then I can get started on all the events that I didn't write that I've promised to write for you guys. I know I promised Tikki and Plagg's talk after the reveal, as well as at least two or three other things, and, of course, Alya's (and Nino's) apologies to Adrien. I can't remember which events I promised, so please do let me know. (I think I have a few comments of a me listing them, so I may stalk through the comment section).

I know you all want the results to the survey, so you can find those here! (Another reminder that if you're here early, the link won't be there yet and you'll need to refresh the page 💕). I have a survey question that I really like, so after all the chapters I'll give it a one-shot all its own and, yes, it will have a survey that you guys can answer too. The next Dumb Debate will be in chapter 41, in case you were wondering. It's a fun one too.

Another thing to mention now that the story is wrapping up, I've saved scenes that I had to scrap or that went under intense rewrites so for those interested in seeing some deleted scenes, I'll post those the same day as the last chapter (which is an epilogue, and therefore shorter) to give you some extra content then.

Wow, it's weird that we're so close to the end.

Thank you all so much for reading!! Comments and kudos are my lifeblood and I cannot find enough ways to say thank you! Or if you're reading on tumblr, likes and reblogs (or asks, I never really get any) also make my day! Lovely to 'see' you guys and I hope you all have a wonderful day!

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#miraculous ladybug #with time #fanfic #gabriel salt #good friends #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #quantic kids #ml felix #chloe bourgeois #sabrina raincomprix #marinette will end you if you mess with her kitty #gabriel is a terrible parent #sick #poor kitten #just wants to sleep through it

[pbandjesse]

Hi everybody. I am feeling real tired but I dont feel so sick anymore. James just made me some really excellent pasta and I feel good. I am looking forward to a shower and getting some sleep. But today was a pretty excellent day. 

I didnt feel very good last night. I ached everywhere. It wasnt fun. And while the nyquil helped with a lot of my symptoms, it didnt help my cough and I wasnt able to get comfy enough to fall asleep. So eventually I had to go take a melatonin on top of that which made me have just the most bizarre dreams. But I actually slept really well. When my alarm went off I actually was in a good place. My throat was still a bit weird and croaky.  But I was happy. 

James made me pancakes to go while I got dressed. I knew I would have to wash my hair tonight but I love my outfit and my makeup was good and I was feeling good. I was looking forward to the day. 

I packed up my bag and said goodbye to James and headed out. And the museum was really good. I finally remembered to bring my shell art for the breakroom. And I helped set some stuff up. But my dayquil didnt kick in yet so I was a little sleepy. 

But once it was good I felt much better. The group was a little late but they were super sweet kids. Doing the cannery was a lot of fun and I honestly just enjoyed today. Like the canker sore on my mouth hurt a lot. And was very distracting and distressing (even when I put oragel on it, that actually made me more distressed) but I still had a lot of fun today. 

We finished up. And then there was nothing for me to do really. So I said goodbye and headed out. 

It was early still. And I realized that if I took the highway I could have an entire hour at home. And then I could have lunch. So I did just that. 

I headed into the rain and went home. I was so pleased to be here. I love our apartment when its quiet and bright. I had lunch. I did the dishes. I did a little paperwork. I fixed my eyeliner. I cleaned out the fridge. I felt really productive. 

I texted Marcus and he asked me to come pick him up. And of course that was fine so I went and got him around 1. Turns out we were both sick with what seemed to be the same thing. Swollen throat and not feeling well. Im glad we are both on a the mend. But we are both still a little off. 

We stopped so he could get a sandwich and headed to the school. Where we had a fairly good day. We had a pretty small class. And while we had a couple issues, and a few tears, in general it was a good day. 

I hung up some of the kids art from yesterday. And told the kids that they could finish their paintings today. And I am really proud of their work on this quick project. 

I also just had a good time having quiet moments with some of my kids. Makenzi put very small braids in my hair and that was nice. We had snacks. Vocab went really good. And I really felt stronger about wanting to have a smaller class and possibly start a new endever this year. 

On sunday when we were at the party I spoke to a woman who I may nanny for a couple days a week. And she encouraged me to start my own art classes for little kids. And Im like. Yeah. That is something I would really like. And it would start my journey to my life goal of having my own summer camp. 

So I told Jess this idea. And last night me and James talked about a name. We are thinking something around the duel idea of CAMP. The aesthetic and the action and the place. So I was like maybe an acronym. "Creative Arts ?? Program". I tossed that out to Jess and she was like. Yes. And had so many good ideas for what the M could be. But then she came up with a better idea. "A CAMP". "Arts and Crafts Anti-Melancholy Program".

I loved the idea so much. I want to make a pennant flag logo. So as soon as I got home tonight I made up a sketch idea. I really want to try to make something like this happen. So well have to see. But I am pretty jazzed. 

James came home soon and we walked over to the store to grab a few things. He bought me a plush bunny. I was very happy about that. But then there was a weird interaction between this woman and man and now Im thinking back on it and I think he was harrassing her but at the time I thought they knew eachohter. But as we were leaving another guy was yelling at him to not touch her face so now Im like. Oh no that wasnt good. I hope she's alright. 

We just finished dinner now. And were hanging out. Im exicted to get ready to get to sleep. We both have the morning off and I want to get all my fabric stuff together for my project. So wish me luck. Have a nice night. Goodnight everyone. 

#ootd #work #tired #i hate tagging #tuesday

[angstkawa-blog]

Every Day, I love You

Every Day, I Love You

Adaptation of Every Day by David Levithan

“And nothing else is right

You're laced inside my mind

I'm holding on, I know it's wrong

But I can't see your soul”

                          -In my Head by Peter Manos

7:00 AM

Waking up always felt the same, except it’s not entirely like that. I sat up and the first thing I did was to take a look in the mirror to see who I was today. A girl, maybe around nineteen, a redhead, tons of freckles, turquoise eyes, an athletic figure, pretty.

“Allie! You’re taking the bus today, your dad and I will be going to work a bit early today. There’s dinner ready in the fridge, we won’t be home until late eleven, love you sweets!”

I heard the door closing and an engine going off before all went silent.

Taking the girl’s wallet, I took out an ID and read it.

Guess I’m Alison Paige today.

My eyes scanned the crowd for a face that I wanted to see. There were too many students and I wasn’t even sure where to start looking.

“Al!”

I turned around to see his smile. The dimples that poked his rosy cheeks, his chocolate waves that were ever so unruly, how his green eyes sparkled as they bathed underneath the sunlight. He looked at me with so much happiness that I forgot what sadness is.

“C-Charlie.”

“C’mon, don’t want Mills after our tails again for being late.”

I followed him, still in a daze. I knew he was here but I never thought he would be this close. I didn’t even have to go looking for him; he came to me. Like an eager puppy, I became his tail and followed him to wherever this Mills was.

“Took you long enough.”

A girl with messily chopped up hair approached us and threw an arm around me. Her eyes were the darkest shade of browns, it could be mistaken for black even. She gave me a smirk before pinching my cheek.

“Sorry Mills, just caught this girl here looking lost.” Charlie said, going over to Mills’ side.

So this is Mills. The girl Charlie’s been so into ever since day one.

“Lost? You’ve been coming here since you were like, kinder.” Mills said, snorting “You sure you weren’t hooked up on something last night?”

“W-What? Uhm, no?”

She laughed and ruffled my hair, I frowned. I didn’t like it that she was treating me like a little kid.

“Alright cutie.”

A guy came to us and I saw him wrap his arm around Mills’ waist, my eyes glanced over at Charlie who still had that goofy smile on his lips but it was clear in his eyes that he was uneasy.

I glanced at my imaginary wristwatch before I gently took Charlie’s hand and tugged him “Well, uhm, we’ll be going to our first period now. We’ll see you guys later.”

“See ya cuties!”

I didn’t know where I was headed, didn’t do my research. All I knew was that I didn’t like the look in Charlie’s eyes.

“Where are we going, sweetheart?”

I stopped in my tracks, his deep voice sending chills down my spine “Uhm, to first period?”

“We passed by Trillie’s room minutes ago.”

“Oh.” I say, not knowing who this Trillie is nor where her room was nor did I know what our first period even is.

“You’re just trying to get me away from Bryan, aren’t you?”

A weak laugh left my lips “No…?”

“Al, you’re like a sheet of plastic cover, I can see right through you.”

I rubbed the back of my neck and shrugged. He chuckled and shook his head as he pulled me out into the fields.

I bet Alison’s mom and dad weren’t going to like it if they heard their daughter skipped classes.

“What are we doing here?” I asked as I watched him sit down underneath the shade of an old Oak tree.

“Aren’t you going to save this poor lad from a bitter heartache?”

I snorted before I sat down beside him, crossing my legs and leaning back against the trunk of the tree.

“It’s funny though.” He said.

“What is?”

“You weren’t this caring before, it’s like someone possessed you.”

I chuckle nervously, shaking my head “Guess I was an idiot.”

“Duh.”

I turned my head to look at him. He had his eyes closed and he looked, tired.

Why is this Alison so dense?

“What’s wrong?” he asked, and I was greeted with his emerald eyes, their mirth gone.

“You look tired, why? You look better happy.”

He blinked, his mouth opening to speak before he closed it again. And suddenly, I felt something warm against my lips. For the briefest moment that our lips touched, I felt envy. I envied that I’d never get to be Alison again.

“I am tired, Al, thanks for pointing that out.”

“I’m not Al.” I whispered before I leaned in to kiss him again.

I felt his hand reaching up to hold my cheek, feeling his fingers caressing my skin. He held me close and I felt his heart beating, I could taste how bittersweet this is. I heard my own heart beating against my ribcage, echoing.

We pulled back and I stared up at his eyes, they looked back at mine with so much care and adoration.

I wish I could be Alison every day.

“I’m drunk.” I mumbled to him.

“No, you’re not.”

“Sue me.”

He chuckled and he held me close to him, resting his chin on my head “Let’s go to class.”

---

7:00 AM

A sharp pain shot up my spine as I tried to move. Wincing, I looked around and saw I was in a mess of a room. My head was pounding and I felt the urge to vomit. Rushing towards the bathroom, barely even making it, I threw up on the sink. I raised my head up and saw the familiar face of Mills looking back at me.

The ride to school was a blur, literally.

What was she doing last night? I internally screamed, feeling the urge to vomit again.

“Baby.”

Oh no, no, not him.

“Bryan.”

“You okay? You look pale.” He chuckled and leaned closer “Was it because of last night?”

I shook my head and pushed him away, feeling sick. I wanted to go back to being Ali, I hated this body. I hated every inch of it.

“Hey, Mills.” Bryan grabbed my wrist and pulled me back “Where are you going?”

“T-To class?”

“To class? What? Are you kidding me? Dang, was it that strong enough to make you like this?” he looked at me quizzically, his brows furrowed together “Come on, let’s go.”

He started pulling me the opposite direction of the hallways, towards his car and my eyes widened.

“U-Uhm, I’m busy today, Bryan. I can’t come with you.”

His grip only tightened, as if he didn’t hear me. I looked around frantically and saw Charlie.

Our eyes met and he frowned, I mouthed “Help.”

Without hesitation, he jogged over and was in front of Bryan in an instant.

“Woah dude, what are you doing hauling off your girl in the broad daylight?”

I broke free from Bryan’s grip and backed away, Charlie coming to my side in an instant. Bryan eyed the both of us before someone called his attention. He stared for what felt like an eternity before turning back on us and going over to the guy who called him.

“You look terrible.” Charlie said.

“Yeah, I know, thanks. You look great yourself too.”

“Alison.”

“…Alison? What happened?”

He shrugged, his eyes going over to glance at a familiar redhead who was laughing with a group of girls.

She probably doesn’t remember what happened yesterday.

“I’m sorry…?” I said uncertainly, which caused him to look at me with a frown.

“You’re awfully out of character today Mills.”

“Am I?”

He shrugged again and headed off, I followed him, unsure of what to do. We ended up underneath the same Oak tree we went to yesterday. I bit my lip, watching him as he sat down.

“What do you want, Mills?”

“W-What?”

“Every time you and your dude fight, you always come to me. Why?”

I stood there, speechless. I wanted to say that I was the Alison who kissed you, that I was the Yvonne who wiped away your tears that one February night, that I was the Mica who swapped your spiked drink with my own, that I was the Adam who helped you get close to Mills, that I was the Tyler who listened to you rant about your family, that I was the Zia who ended our relationship because I wasn’t committed enough to us and didn’t want you stuck because the Zia who wasn’t me was too selfish, that I was the Xin who told you that you were cute.

That I was a different person every time and I would always go to you, I would always go to you because I loved you the moment I saw you smile and heard you laugh. I would always go to you because you were my paradise and my only hold on sanity because I don’t have anything else but you to keep me going.

“Mills?”

“I-I have to go.”

He rolled his eyes and he shook his head “Fine.”

“I’m not good for you, you shouldn’t be close to me anymore. Stay with Alison.”

“She’s as worse as you.”

I winced, that stung a lot. If only you knew, Charlie, if only you knew.

“I’m sorry.”

I turned around and headed out. It was too suffocating, too suffocating.

I felt like I wasn’t getting enough oxygen, felt too dizzy, felt too overwhelmed.

What am I doing?

“I’m so sorry.”

---

7:00 AM

I sat up, groaning. Stretching, I felt something warm beside me, frowning I shone the light of my phone and my mouth fell as I saw Charlie.

“Charlie?!”

I pushed him away from me, we were fully clothed, thankfully but who was I? What happened?

“Claire, what-?” I heard him groan from the floor where he fell “It’s still too early, come on, let me sleep.”

What’s going on?

He sat up and rubbed his eyes, he looked even more dreadful than he did yesterday.

“Charlie? What’s wrong?”

Looking at me, he chuckled “So now you care?”

I blinked, unsure of what to do. I want to tell him badly, I could see he was getting way too confused and affected by everything that’s happening.

“Charlie.”

“What?”

I love you.

“I’m sorry.”

I love you.

“For what?”

I love you.

“For everything.”

I love you, I’m sorry.

“What are you even talking about?” he asked, frowning as he sat on the bed. I felt the tears falling, I felt my hands shaking. I hate this, I hate myself, this is disgusting.

“H-Hey, Claire, I’m sorry…” he said softly, I still heard the confusion in his voice but that didn’t stop him from pulling me in for a hug.

“It’s always you…” I whisper, closing my eyes as I took in a shaky breath “I’m always finding myself coming back to you.”

He was quiet as I started talking, may as well call me a psycho for telling him who I was before and what I did to him. Would he believe me, I’m not sure, but I don’t want to ruin him.

I finished talking and he was quiet, his hold on me loosened, I couldn’t see his face. I didn’t know what he was thinking, I didn’t know what expression he has on, I didn’t know if I was way too much of an idiot to have let my emotions get the best of me.

And suddenly, he let me go, stood up and walked out of the door.

---

7:00 AM

I woke up, feeling my eyes sting. I didn’t know who I was today. I didn’t want to look. I laid there, staring at the dark. Why is this happening to me? I was so tired of living like this.

Avoiding any mirrors, I knew I was going to be someone from Charlie’s life. This much I knew. Every person I had been, they were all connected to Charlie one way or another.

I was never going to be able to avoid him.

I arrived at school early. There wasn’t much people around yet. Unconsciously, my feet took me towards the same Oak tree in the fields. I sat down and leaned back, closing my eyes and sighing.

Who knows how long time passed until someone tapped my shoulder. I opened my eyes to see two green eyes looking at me, eyes that were full of concern, full of tiredness.

“Uhm, by any chance, were you Claire, Mills, Alison and a lot more in the past?”

I blinked, staring at him.

“Right, sorry, I’ll just-“

“Charlie.”

He looked at me, his eyes suddenly filled with, dare I say, hope.

“Yeah?”

“It’s me.”

Emotions ran through his face but I was able to catch every single one of it. Relief, confusion, sadness, and a little bit of anger.

“It’s you.”

“Yeah.”

“What’s your name?”

I proceeded to take out my wallet to check an ID but I felt his hand stopping mine. I looked up and he shook his head.

“Your name.”

“I don’t know.”

“Are you…a girl or a guy?”

“I don’t know. Would it be weird if I was a guy?”

He chuckled, “I don’t know.”

I shrugged “I don’t know anything about me besides who I am today.”

“So…every day you…change into someone else?”

“Yeah, I noticed they’re all someone who’s connected to you. Who is this girl I’m in today?”

“She’s Eva, Secretary of the school council, someone I only talk to whenever school stuff is involved.”

“I see.”

“Avery.”

I looked at him, frowning in confusion “Avery?”

“Your name, Avery. I’ll call you Avery. You change every day and yeah, you get it.”

A laugh left my lips “It’s weird, I don’t ever remember being given a name.”

“Well, you’re my Avery now.”

---

7:00 AM

I wake up and felt a smile on my face. Avery. Avery.

My name is Avery.

The days pass and Charlie only meant more and more for me. He was everything. He was my ground, he kept me steady, unwavering.

But I know this can’t last.

“Charlie?”

“Hmm?”

“This girl’s family is very loving.”

“Mhhmm.”

“She’s really cute too.”

“Hmmm.”

“Her name is Avery as well.”

He looked at me, eyes showing confusion. I gave him a pained smile as I held his cheek, caressing it.

“Charlie…”

“I don’t like that tone Ave…”

“Charlie, you know we can’t keep on going like this…”

He sat up from lying down on my lap, shaking his head “But I’m fine.”

“I’m not.” I whispered “I love you Charlie but I can’t stand hearing what they say about you just because they’ve seen you going out with different men and women every day. I can’t.”

“Ave…”

“So, listen to me, okay? I’ll make sure that this Avery remembers you. I’ll give her every memory of us. I’ll give her all of my love for you. I’ll let her be your Avery. I don’t know how, but I will make it work. Be with her, okay?”

I felt him pulling me close, felt him burying his head on my shoulder, felt his heavy breaths and trembling hands.

My hands reached up to embrace him and we stayed like that for awhile, quiet, holding each other, trying. Eventually, he pulled back and he cupped my face, leaning in to give me a soft kiss that was terribly, painfully, bittersweet.

“I love you.” He whispers.

“I love you more, Charlie.”

“Stay with me.”

I gave him a nod, and the weakest of all weak smiles.

“I’m here.”

Night crept upon us and I was cocooned in Charlie’s embrace. I felt his fingers stroking my hair, his chin resting on top of my head.

“I won’t go looking for you, Charlie.”

He was silent.

“But please, remember this.” I removed his hold as I turn around to face him. I brushed back his bangs so I could look at him face to face.

“Even if I live a thousand lives, my heart will always be yours, intertwined, never faltering, infinite.” I gave him a smile as I leaned up to give him a kiss on the forehead.

“Because every day, I love you.”

---

??? AM

I open my eyes and sit up.

Everything was bright.                                                                  

I wasn’t in a room, I don’t know where I was but I felt peace for the first time.

There wasn’t anyone in sight but I heard a voice.

“Do you wish to go back to being Avery?”

Smiling, I shake my head.

“I’m happy now.”

end

#david levithan #everyday #fanfiction

[spiffysixxsense]

hi yes helllo, i am here to fulfill my annoying bestfriend obligation and make you answer all of the nosy asks

1: The last person you kissed screams they love you, you say…

I love you too! Also why are you screaming?

2: Did you get to sleep in today?

technically, yes. I have class on Tuesdays at 11, which is later than either of my jobs start. But Wednesday’s are usually my one day off so tomorrow Im SLEEEEPINGGGG

3: You never know what you got until you lose it?

Not a question, but yes I agree.

4: Do you have siblings?

Nope, just me myself and I. 

5: How many kids do you want?

I go back and forth between saying having kids sounds awful, and saying I want to create a stable family life for myself and children. On a children kinda day, I would say at most 3, most likely 2. 

6: Who was the last person you held hands with?

Alex (here we go with the every answer is about @reddragon8000)

7: Did you stand on your tippy-toes for your last kiss?

Well, my boyfriend is 9 inches taller than me, however if he looks down and I look up I don’t HAVE to go on my toes. So to answer the question, I think no.

8: Do you think if you died, the last person you kissed would care?

I hope he would?

9: Last person to talk on the phone?

My Grandpa :)

10: Did anyone watch you the last time you kissed someone?

No, it was at my door as he left my apartment. 

11: When’s your birthday?

May 7th

12: Remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed?

Yes, it was 2 years and 5 days ago♥

13: What kind of phone do you have?

Samsung Galaxy 8

14: Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants?

I am wearing jean high waisted shorts

15: Are you a different person now than you were 5 years ago?

Yes and no to be honest. I feel like 5 years ago I imagined being much farther in life than I currently am. Meaning I’m not as different as I hoped I would be. 

16: What were you doing at 4 am?

Actually, sleeping for once.

17: Would you rather write a paper or give a speech?

When I give a speech, I just essentially write a paper and then memorize it. So I would choose paper just to eliminate some steps.

18: Are you lying to yourself about something?

Answered 

19: Last night you felt…?

Stressed about the presentation I had to give today.

20: What’s something you cannot wait for?

To graduate? I guess? Even that I’m scared for too though.

21: Ever told your parents you were going somewhere but when somewhere different?

I honestly don’t think so. I have just not told them where I’m going, and not even because it was “bad”, but because they didn’t ask. 

22: How many hours of sleep did you get last night?

about 5. 

23: Are you a morning or night person?

Buddy I am barely even a person. (I am SUCH a night person though.)

24: What did you get your last bruise from?

Diving in the grass playing volleyball.

25: Do you reply to all of your texts?

Yes. (except the bot texts I get about congress lol)

26: Your phone is ringing. It’s the person you fell hardest for. What do you do?

 I answer it slightly worried because he never calls me out of the blue, but happy to answer it. 

27: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?

No, a doorway

28: Anyone you would like to get things straight with?

My ex, probably. 

29: How many months until your birthday?

10 lol

30: Favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?

Apples

31: Did you like this past summer?

It was fine, so sure. 

32: What were you doing before you got on the computer?

laying in bed on my phone.

33: Your ex is sitting next to you, with their new partner. What do you do?

Tell her to run. Or just leave because thats still awkward af. 

34: What is the last thing you said out loud?

“Not recently, Ill take care of him“

35: Your mood summed into one word?

Broken? Like mentally over it?

36: Are you doing anything else besides taking this survey?

Listening/split screen watching to ASMR

37: What are your initials?

GLT

38: Are you a happy person?

Externally , yes. Internally, no. 

39: Do you still talk to the person you liked 4 months ago?

Yes, I have been dating the person I like for 2 years. lol

40: Where do you want to live when your older?

I have never really thought about it because I never planned to live that long. Staying in Michigan is honestly fine with me.

41: Have you had your birthday this year?

Yes, 2 months ago.

42: What did you do yesterday?

Went to my internship in Downtown Detroit. Got Qdoba with my mom.

43: What will you be doing tomorrow?

SLEEEEPING

44: How late did you stay up last night?

About 3 am

45: Is there anyone you would do anything for?

Yes.

46: Is it hard to make you laugh?

Depends on the moment. Sometimes nothing makes me laugh and other times someone can say pudding and ill crack up.

47: Do you believe ex’s can be just friends?

No. You can claim youre friends, but it is never the same afterwards. 

48: Do you think any of your exes will eventually want to be with you again?

Answered

49: How many people have you had feelings for in the year of 2012?

Well I got with my ex of 4 years in august of 2012, so at least one. 

50: Do you wish your ex was dead?

I guess not.

51: Have you ever dyed your hair?

Only once, and it was only the bottom half of my hair.

52: Would ever take back someone that cheated?

No, the stress, worry, and insecurity would never go away.

53: Was New Year’s Even enjoyable?

No, I was sick as hell. 

54: Bet you’re missing someone right now?

I mean I kinda always miss Alex when I don’t see him all day. Lame, I know. 

55: How would your parents react if you got a tattoo?

Recommend how to take care of it, probably. 

56: Sleep on your back or stomach?

Stomach.

57: If you could move away, no questions asked, where would it be ?

maybe the Upper Peninsula of Michigan? always seems cute and quaint up there.

58: What would you change about your life right now?

My family relationships, my anxiety.

59: Has anything upset you in the past week?

Well my boyfriend and I got a flat tire on vacation a week ago? lol

60: Are you on the phone?

No, I never am actually talking on the phone. 

61: Today, would you rather go forward a week or back?

Forward.

62: Would you take $40,000 or a brand new car?

40k, could help pay for a car but this way I still have options. 

63: Have you ever talked to someone when they were high?

Yes, when youre sober it is pretty hilarious. 

64: Ever cried while you were on the phone with someone?

Once.

65: Have you ever copied someone elses homework?

I can’t think of a specific time, but Im SURE i have.

66: Are you the type of person who likes to be out or at home?

AT HOME. my favorite days are the ones where i never have to leave. 

67: Do you automatically check your phone when you wake up?

yes.

68: Have you ever stayed up all night on the phone?

I think so.

69: Could you use some sleep right now?

At this very moment i took a 2 hour nap a while ago, so im okay. 

70: Are you going to have a baby by the time you’re 18?

Given I am 22 with no kids, I am gonna say no.

71: Does it bother you when someone hides things from you?

Of course? doesnt it bother everybody?

72: What’s your favorite color?

like dark teal, blue/green.

73: Have you ever slept in the same room with someone you liked?

Yes. Sometimes without AC so as far away as possible while in the same bed lol. 

74: Have you ever been looking for something and it was already in your hand?

Yes, anytime I am on the phone for some reason I am always looking for my phone. 

75: Do you get annoyed easily?

Y E S S S S S

76: If someone liked you, would you want them to tell you?

Sure, even though I am taken, it would still be a little flattering. 

77: Do you have a person of the opposite sex that you can tell everything to?

Yes, although I tend not to tell anybody everything. 

78: Does anyone call you babe?

Alex does

79: How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

1. 2 including my dad. 

80: What do you prefer, relationship or one night stand?

Relationship, but if you wanna one night stand then go ahead. 

81: What color hoodie did you wear last?

Black

82: Is there someone who meant alot to you at one point, and isn’t around anymore?

Yes, both in the not in my life anymore and not on this Earth anymore. 

[markleetrashh]

Woke Up Alone;Haechan

Genre: huge angst (im ready to make some people cry im sorry)

Request: @hqleetaeyong my babe requested this a month back for an angst haechan scenario so here it is skdmdn

A/N: i spent so much time on this omg dont kill me after yall read this please

*Warnings: de*th/depression

Word Count: 2,481

——

Nothing seemed to be going your way anymore-you were flunking all your class assignments and tests despite your constant efforts to revise and study, and all because of a small misunderstanding, your friends had turned their back on you.

The people you once could lean on and gain support from, were now gone.

The digits on the weighing scale added more salt to the wound, constantly reminding you of how you weren’t as slim as the people around you, and that you had lost many you once thought were worthy because of this small matter.

Nobody seemed to understand you. Once you thought everything was going well, it all fell apart again, leaving you at your most vulnerable.

You needed someone to hold you in their arms, remind you that you were loved and appreciated. And most importantly, you wanted someone who could give you love and comfort.

But you didn’t have anyone.

You couldn’t even trust yourself anymore.

You hated yourself more than anyone could ever.

You blamed yourself for everything that had happened.

You were completely alone.

But yet at the end of every day you found yourself lying on your bed, all curled up in the warmth of your own arms, thoughts running deeply in your mind. All you could do to make everything better was to assure yourself that it’ll get better.

At the end of the day, you could depend on no one else but yourself-

-as much as you hated it.

——

His face was etched vividly at the back of your mind, and you couldn’t help but think about him for the fifth time that day. His small and shy smile and laughter replayed in your head as you remembered how he reached out his hand excitedly to shake yours, then slightly bowing as he flashed you his bright smile again, his eyes forming into the shape of crescent moons.

Just this itself could make you smile, the first time you ever did genuinely in a few weeks.

“My name’s Haechan! I’m looking forward to working with you all hehe”

You remembered how he said that sentence in an excited tone, and behind his voice it was as though you could feel a small boy jumping inside of him, ready to fill your days with laughter and joy.

You found yourself smiling once again, before you snapped out of your trance as you catched a glimpse of yourself in the mirror seating by the bedside.

How long has it been since you last smiled like that?

How could a boy you just met today make you feel so happy and contented?

—

The next morning, you were more than excited to head of to the cafe for work- for the first time ever.

The lady dressed in full black, your boss, looked at you shock as soon as she saw you enter the cafe, then squinting her eyes, “Why are you here so early today, Miss Y/N, i thought you dreaded work? Is something up?”

You let out a small laugh before shaking your head, placing your bag in the usual spot in the staff room, “No, i just.. felt good today”

Your boss gave you a comforting smile, then pat your back, “I was joking. I’m glad that you are, i told you working in a cafe could help clear your mind hm?”

You smiled back at her. You were thankful and grateful for her care and concern towards you, and you only had her to thank for making you feel much better than you were a few weeks back.

She had noticed you completing blanking out in a bookshop near your house, and immediately asked if you were okay. Finally having someone to even worry over you, you couldn’t help but break down in front of her, a complete stranger at that time, and letting everything out that you had been holding in forever.

She completely understood, and promised to help you out. Which was why you were currently able to work as a barista in her small cafe, after she offered that it may help you get your mind off things a little.

And it did.

You put on your apron swiftly, then started to set everything up, preparing the cups and ingredients needed.

Not long after the door to the cafe opened once again, and you were met with the eyes of the one you had been thinking of the whole night.

His soft brown hair was slightly covering his eyes, and his dark brown skin seemed to glow under the sun. He caught eye contact with you and bowed slightly, the sides of his cheeks raising up, his eyes turning into thin lines again.

You returned a shy smile, eyes unable to leave him.

Your eyes followed him as he made his way to the staff room, then to the empty spot right beside you.

“Y/N? Good morning!” he waved his hands in front of your face, followed by a small giggle.

You stuttered a little, “H-Hi, good morning” before giving a small awkward wave back, causing him to laugh.

He shook his head then smiled to himself, “You’re so cute”

His words hit you all of a sudden, and you felt a tingling feeling throughout your whole body. Your cheeks started to burn as you tried quickly looked away from him, “o-oh.. am i?”

You closed your eyes and mentally slapped yourself for the words that just came out from your mouth.

Surprisingly, Haechan nodded his head, then held out a thumbs up in front of you, saying even louder to you, “Yes you are”

Naturally, your lips started to curl up as his words replayed in your mind over and over again, your heart quickening its pace every single time.

He was special, how could someone you only just met made you this happy?

——

“Y/N!!!!! I got us some chicken, open your door and stop sleeping you pig” Haechan’s loud voice rang through your whole apartment, as his fingers repeated pressed the doorbell.

You peered your head out of your room, eyes squinting at the bright light from the door, then letting out a groan and laying back in bed, “Just open it, it’s not locked”

You heard shuffling from the outside as you closed your eyes again, hoping that you could get back some of the sleep you lost due to Haechan’s shouting.

However, his voice rang loudly again, “Do you not know how dangerous it is to not lock your door i cant believe you did that, what if something happened to you?”

Haechan nagged at you as he shook your legs lightly, trying to wake you up.

But seeing that you had no reaction at all to his doings, he jumped right on the bed beside you, then attacking you with tickles, causing you to scream and laugh out loud.

After a few minutes of the ‘wrestling’, Haechan hit your arm lightly, slightly out of breath, then nagging at you once again with his now obvious irritated voice, “Wake up now please”

You turned to face him abrutly at his words, your smile slowly fading away into an expression of admiration as he was only an inch away from you.

5 months of friendship but you all had never been this close.

It made your heart race.

And there was a moment of silence

You saw Haechan gasped a little, his eyes falling from your eyes to your lips, his cheeks turning into a light pink as he got up quickly.

His voice softened as soon as his eyes met your gaze.

“C-Come out, let’s eat the chicken before it gets cold.”

You shook your head and covered your face to forget everything that had happened, but your heart wasn’t cooperating.

It was beating really quickly, and loudly.

Does he know i like him?

Does he like me too?

——

His arms were around your shoulders, your head on his chest. His soft and warm voice acting as a lullaby as he sang you a short tune. He was caressing your hair lightly, both of your breathings together as one.

“It’ll be fine, don’t worry” Haechan said those words to you for the third time that night, attempting to make you feel better after you started breaking down suddenly after being not able to sleep.

And you blame overthinking for it-your thoughts got the better of you again and you just started thinking of every single negative thing that had ever occurred to you.

Next thing you know, Haechan has rushed right over to your house immediately after getting your call, despite it being at a late 2AM.

You nodded your head at his words, wiping your tears once more, snuggling deeper into his chest as you wrapped your arms around his torso.

Someone was finally there for you when you needed it.

He made you feel appreciated and cared for, and you couldn’t thank him enough for that.

You felt comfortable in his arms, against his body.

His arms never left you once that night and you felt secure, and safe.

Only he could make you have that feeling.

You were deeply in love with him.

——

Just like any other day, you found yourself waiting patiently for him to walk into the cafe, face full of smiles and happiness, pulling the strings of your heart and making your day full.

Especially today, you wanted to see him the most, mainly because you had wanted to tell him something important-your feelings.

Your eyes would lit up in excitement whenever you saw the door to the cafe open, but would droop into disappoint when you weren’t met with the person you wanted to see most everyday.

Two hours later and he was still not here, and you were worried sick.

Is he not feeling well? Did something happen? He hasn’t been replying since yesterday.

Your eyes would quiver as you’d blank out occasionally, as your mind would drift off to think about where Haechan was and where he went.

He never skipped work once, even when he was sick, it was unlike him.

You tried calling him, but there no answer.

You went back that day feeling devastated, as though you had lost everything. One day without seeing him and you were back to the old you, how could you live without him?

The next day you went to work enthusiastic again, hoping that he’d appear. But he still hasn’t returned to any of your calls or messages.

After a long and tiring day of being disappointed countless times, you sighed and made your way back home, alone, unlike the usual days where Haechan would accompany you and fill you with his jokes and funny stories, turning you into an endless fit of laughter.

The third day, still no replies or his appearance. It was as if he disappeared into thin air.

Day of day you’d make your way to the cafe, holding on to the small strand of hope that he was going to come back, but none of it happened.

You were getting less and less and motivated, and you did everything with almost no emotion. You didn’t feel happy anymore, that is, without Haechan right by your side.

Your boss had noticed and she knew the reason why, and she knew she had to tell you sooner or later.

“Y/N, could you come here for a talk? We’ll stop work after this,” she called out to you softly, motioning you to seat beside her at one of the small tables.

You nodded without saying a word, then sat beside her emotionlessly, mind filled with thoughts of that one person.

The lady beside you took in a deep breath before placing her hand on your thigh, “I know you’ve been feeling upset lately.. and it’s because Haechan’s gone suddenly, right?”

You turned your head to her immediately at the mention of his name, then raised your eyebrows at her, “Yes, do you know why? Did he tell you?”

She sighed again, then closed her eyes, a look of remorse on her face, “You see… Y/N, Haechan.. he’s… gone”

You were confused at her words, as you furrowed your eyebrows together, your hand holding tightly onto hers, “What do you mean.. gone? Did he move to another country? Where did he go”

She frowned, as you could see her trying to hold her tears back, “You see, Y/N. Haechan, you thought he was that one kid that’s always happy right? Truth is he’s gone through much more than you and he’s actually really really sad inside. But he told me not to tell you so you wouldn’t worry, and i took him in here because he heard of you and wanted to cheer you up, because he didn’t want you to feel like him. He, was overwhelmed by a lot of things too these past months but he kept it from you. He couldn’t take it anymore and he.. went to a better place, at least he’s happy there. Y/N, please i know you love him a lot and he’s always so happy telling me about you and-”

You ran out of the door and onto the road after hearing all those words, your tears rolling down your cheeks endlessly as you didn’t want to believe what you just heard. You heard shouts calling out for you, but before you knew it, a huge blow threw you onto the floor and you were met with pitch darkness.

——

The wind from the air conditioning’s blowing strongly in your direction, making you hide even deeper under your sheets, trying to find warmth.

But nothing was the same anymore.

Outside your room were people talking and walking around, holding flowers or basket of fruits to visit their loved ones, each of their rooms filled with care, love and warmth.

But for you, your hospital room was filled with utter silence, other than the constant beeping from the heart rate machine standing beside you.

It seemed to be your only friend.

You room was cold, dark and empty.

No one was there for you, again.

His face was the only thing you could think of, as the memories that you two had spent over the past 9 months replayed in your head, remembering even the smallest detail.

Because he meant that much to you.

And he still does, but does it even matter now?

You wiped the tear falling from your swollen eyes roughly as you hid your face in your arms,

you were used to this

after all, you still ended up waking up alone.

#jskdndnd #im so angsty i swear #nct scenarios #haechan scenarios #lee donghyuck #haechan #lee haechan #nct haechan #nct 127 #nct dream #nct angst #nctwriters

[duketheman]

Generation 4 Part 2

We both break out in laughter. That George is a character. Sense of humor, a heart & knowledge. He's a good man & a good friend. I hit the jackpot when I hired him. No regrets! I get my friend George home by 4:00pm. I pull out an envelope & say: ~Oh George, Payday!!!! I hand him the envelope with the check in it & thank him for a great job well done. He looks at the check and says: ~Harry, der be too much, Ders $550.00 hear~ I reply: ~George, You're not paid by the hour, nor the day, you're paid a salary! Today's payday. Your Salary is $550.00 per week. A week consist of whatever falls between Monday through Friday. You may work a few hours or a bunch of hours. You may be charged with running things. I sometimes have to be away. In that case you will receive an extra $250.00 per week & I will bring a second mate in to assist you. As you will act as Captain.~ He replies: ~aye Harry, ya da Captain. Me be thankin ya Harry. Drive safe Harry, ya like me Brother Harry.~ George is a Hell of a great guy! He doesn't want a dime that doesn't belong to him. I want to help him. He deserves whatever I can do for him! This job takes talent. You need to know what you're doing out here in the Devil's Triangle! It's like George said ~ Quote- Dem Der storms can come up on ya like Da Spirits of Hell & swallow ya up in Da swells like da Whale. -Unquote~ He's got the knowledge, I trust him, I like him! It's not charity! So he can be happy to know that. I'm home by 4:30pm & Mary asks: ~How'd your day go my Harry? I answer: ~It was a good day Darling! God is Good! You know Darling, I'm really happy we got to Know George & Lucy! Really good people! She replies: ~I know Harry, I like them. Harry, Can we go out to eat tonight? I reply: ~Now Darling, have you been taking lessons from George?~ She replies: ~Harry, whatever do you mean?~ I reply: ~'O Darling, mind reading! I was going you ask if you'd like to go to Sundowners for Dinner. Maybe the Caribbean after for a little dancing?~ She replies rather excitedly: ~Now Harry, are you feeling Frisky, she, smiles, winks (Her winks drive me insane) & says: I'll be ready by 6:00pm! She wraps those arms around me, & plants those always delicious lips against mine. No man can ever wish for more than what I have in my life! She's ready By 6:00 pm & is as Beautiful as always. She's wearing a Trumpet/Mermaid Scoop Neck Floor-Length Satin Evening Dress that fits her perfectly. Shows off her figure but yet doesn't flaunt it! She has on Pointed toe Blue Suede Stiletto Heel Pumps. Her hair as usual is worn combed naturally down her back the way I like it. She's wearing Diamond earrings to match her Wedding rings & a 2ct Diamond "V" Necklace. She's Stunning, absolutely stunning! I take her hand & kiss it, & say: ~Your carriage awaits~ I put her arm in mine & escort her to my Beamer & walk her to the passenger side, open the door & help her in. I feel so giddish. It's like my first date again! Man I love this Woman!........

We get to Sundowners at 6:45pm. I tip the Valet & we go inside. We have reservations so there's no wait. Being a Friday night, the place is packed. We're seated & order drinks. Mary orders just a Soda water. I ask if she's feeling well & she says she's fine. She's just in the mood for Soda water! I reach over, take her hands in mine & say: ~Mary Newport, You're the best thing that ever happened to me! I love you!~ She looks at me and smiles, winks (Ohhhh that wink!) & says: ~Harold Newport, You're the best thing that ever happened to me too, I love you. You know what Harry? I've got a bit of a secret to tell you!~ I ask: ~You do? She replies: ~I do! There's one in the oven Harry!~ I reply: ~What? Let me call JR, I'll have him check the oven.~ She says: ~No silly..... I mean we're going to have a Baby Harry!~ She's smiling really large. I'm not sure if she's pulling a fast on me or not. I ask: ~ Darling, really, we're going to have a Baby.~ She replies: ~Yes Harry! The Doctor confirmed it today! I ask a stupid question: ~But when, how, I mean aaah oh Darling I love you so much! We have to build a Nursery. I got to get George to help me. Oh & JR is Going to love it. He always wanted a little Brother. Ohhhh. We don't know yet do we? How far along are we Darling? I can't even tell!~ She replies: ~six weeks my love. Next week's my Ultrasound. You're coming with me, aren't you? That's when we'll learn the gender of the baby!~I reply: Darling, of course I am! I wouldn't miss it for the world. George can handle the "Willow"! I will get Nicholas from the Agency for a Second Mate. I want George as Captain to make the decisions. Yet still drive the boat! George is gentle & treats her like a Lady! She looks at me & remarks: I'm glad you finally have a good friend Harry that you can trust! Let's eat. I want to go dancing!~ She looks so very happy! Her face is glowing! Now I understand the reason behind the Soda water. Mary's always told me she's never thought pregnant woman should be drinking alcohol! We finish eating & go outside the Restaurant. I give the Valet my ticket & he retrieves my Beamer. I tip him & he opens the passenger door for my wife, I help her in & close the door. I tip him & walk around to the Driver's side, get in & we head for the Caribbean. It's 10:00pm & from the looks of the parking lot, it's packed! I tip the Valet & he parks the car. We walk inside & the Waiter has our table ready. He takes our order. Mary's drinking Ginger Ale & I'm drinking Coke, as I will be driving & want to make sure she has a wonderful time but not have any problems, that alcohol may render me less able to take care of! We dance & dance to every favorite beat she hears. I'm getting tired, you'd think I'm the pregnant one! Where does my Wonder Woman get all her energy? I ask: ~Darling, don't overdo yourself?~ She replies: ~Harry relax, chalk this up to exercise! What I'm going to be doing is nothing compared to this!~ I reply: ~Yes Darling, I'll try to remember that!~ She smiles & motions to me; now let's dance! This is really a night to celebrate. I can't wait to let my parents know. Or for that, I'm sure my Mother in-law will be quite excited. This will be their first Grandchild, although they consider JR as much their's as if blood. Tomorrow we'll get together with JR & let him know! It's 2:00am & the last song is playing. It's our favorite: "Stand By Me" by Otis Redding! I pull my wife in real close to me & dance old school with her! I love this Woman & I love these moments! The song has ended, the lights come on & it's time to leave. I take my beautiful wife by the hand & tell her: ~Darling, I love you more today than yesterday & now more than I did before my last breath. Thank you for making my life so wonderful Darling!~ She says to me: ~'O Harry, My Harry, you're the most romantic Man on Earth. The only man I've ever loved. The only man I will ever love. Harry take me home my love?~ I reply: ~Your Wish is My Command!~ I place her arm in mine & I escort her out the door. I hand my ticket to the Valet & he retrieves my Beamer. He opens the passenger door, I help my wife in & close the door. I tip the Valet, walk around to the Driver's side & get in. We head home. On the way home I ask my wife: Mary: ~You'd think we could ask George & Lucy to be The Godparents!~ She replies: Harry, I think that's a wonderful idea!~ We're home by 3:15am. I open the door & help my wife out. I escort her arm in arm to the house, open the door & say: ~Mary; ( I smile, pick her up & carry her over the thrush hold) I love you I say!~ She replies: ~I love you more my Harry!~ I always loved how she calls me her Harry! We go to bed & have a wonderful night of love in every way possible!

Saturday, April 20 John Ross Learns The News We wake about 8:30am. We decided to sleep in. I've got it on my mind to hire some help for Mary, at least until the baby comes; & even after. I hear JR moving around downstairs. I know he's hungry. Mary's in the bathroom. I'm going down to the kitchen & surprise her & cook them both breakfast! I haven't forgotten how! Besides she deserves a break! I get to the kitchen & JR is patiently sitting at the table waiting for us & says: ~Good morning Dad! You two kids had a late night of it!~ He bends his head to the side & smiles like he knows what his mother & I did! I replied: Good morning: ~Young Man! Your Mother will be down directly. I want to surprise her! Want to help?~ He replies: ~Yeah sure Dad, anything for Mom!~ We're fixing her Blueberry Pancakes, (Her recipe) Hot Syrup, Pork Sausage links, Poached Eggs, Hot Mocha Coffee & Fresh Squeezed Orange Juice. Mary comes down the stairs just as we are finishing up the Poached Eggs. She says: ~What's this?~ Those big Beautiful Green eyes of hers are wide open in surprise! She adds: ~I can't believe you two did this for me, 'O I love you both so very much.~ I reply: ~Ok Darling, It's hot, & we want you to sit down & enjoy it. We are at your service. After you're finished eating, myself & JR will do the dishes. Then we can all sit down & have a nice talk about the surprise.~ She replies: ~Okay my Harry, that sounds like a good idea. It's time my John Ross knows what's going on!~ JR says: ~What? haaaa, what's going on?~ She says: ~Now there John Ross, just you don't worry about it for now, it's a surprise!~ He shrugs his shoulders in wonder & replies: ~Okay Mom!~ She eats her food, all the time with mmmmh & aaahh & oohhhh this is good! She really enjoyed her food. & we enjoyed making it for her. She finishes her breakfast & we pick up the dishes from the table. I wash & JR dries. Everything is done. We all sit down. I ask Mary: ~More coffee Darling!~ She replies: ~No thank you Harry, too much coffee is not good for me!~ JR asks:~Since when Mom? Are you ok, sick?~ She replies: ~Im fine, my Dear Dear John Ross. My Baby that I've loved since the very moment you've come into my life. John Ross, we have a Surprise for you! You're going to be a Big Brother soon!~ He replies: ~Mom, you mean, you're going to have a Baby?~ She replies: ~I do John Ross, what do you think about it?~ He replies: ~Mom, I'm happy, really happy. But when? I'm going to have to get leave from school, I want to be here when the baby comes. I say: Oh yes when is the due date, I forgot to ask in all my excitement. She replies to both of us: December 06, 2019, Twenty five days before your Birthday John Ross. You will already be home on Christmas Leave. I figured Maybe we could spend the Holidays in Madison County. I figured I could have the baby in Madison County Hospital. It's the Best one in the County & near the Mansion. None Of your Grandparents, I mean all five of them are not getting any younger. The Mansion is the perfect place for all of us to meet & spend the Holidays together & they'll be there when the baby is born. I've already talked to your Mother my Harry, she has agreed that if it's a go with you & John Ross, then it's a go with the rest of us!~ I reply: ~Of course Darling, that's a wonderful idea! Darling, would it be ok to invite George & his family?~ She replies: ~You read my mind My Harry!~ She asks JR: ~How about you John Ross, the plann sound ok with you?~ He replies: ~Yes Mam, Mom, I like it. One question Boy or Girl?~ She replies: ~'O My John Ross, does it matter?~ He replies: ~No, not really Mom, just curious!~ She says: We'll find out my next Dr's appt on April 25. I will be sure to call you & let you know my John Ross! She smiles & gives him that special wink. He smiles back in approval! I ask Mary: ~Is there anything I can do for you Darling?~ She replies: ~Yes My Harry, Stop treating me like there's something wrong with me! I'm pregnant, not crippled, & only 6 1/2 weeks my love. I loved the surprise but now, you two boys go play! I have things to do!~ She kisses me, kisses JR on the cheek & says: ~I love you, now let me do my work!~ We look at each other & go about our business! I call George & ask: ~Hey, want to go have a beer?~ He replies: ~aye Harry, me whistle needin a wetten!~ I say~ Be there in fifteen minutes!~ I ask JR: Need a Ride to Kellyanne's?~ He replies: ~Sure Dad, thanks!~ We hop in the Beamer & head to George's house. We get to George's house at 11:15am. George comes out of his house as JR passes him going in. I say: ~Hey George, ~Mary & I are having a Baby!~ He replies: ~Aaaah! Ohhh Captain Harry, me Brudder. Ya been a busy man have ya~ & laughs under his breath. He adds: ~God He be lookin on ya with da favor. I knowed it. Ya be a lucky man Harry, a lucky man.~ I ask: ~George. We've decided to have the Baby in Madison County. It's on the border of North Carolina. That way all of JR's Grandparents can be there. It's during Christmas Holidays George. Would you be interested in joining us. My parents live in a Mansion & it's plenty big. George, We would be honored if you & Lucy were to be the Godparents?~ He's looking at me, teary eyed, hardly able to utter the words & replies: ~aye Harry, it be our Honors to be fer sure. Me give ya me word Harry, ya never regret it Sir!~ I reply: ~I have no doubt George, Oh George, one more thing, before I forget! I'm going to need you to Captain the "Willow" on Thursday, the 25th.~ He replies: ~aye Harry! Ya go be with ya wife! Me be takin care of ya boat, don't ya be worry bout dat Captain Harry! We reach Sharkey's Pub on the Wharf at 12:30pm I park & we go in & have a seat. I ask George: ~Want a bite to eat with that Beer George?~ He replies: ~aye Harry, Much obliged, Me belly be achin, Me lips be parched! I order two Buds & we look the menu over. I ask ~George: What are you going to have George?~ He replies: ~Dos der Fish -n- Chips sure be lookin tasty!~ I reply: ~Agreed, I'll have the same!~ I call for the waiter & say: ~We'll have two Fish & Chips, go heavy on the chips. Oh , & bring us a couple more Buds please? Thanks?~ Ahh, our order's here! One thing about Sharkey's, when they serve you a Basket of Fish & Chips, you can't complain. You're going to get a stomach full! I ask George: ~What do you think George?~ He replies: ~Mighty good Harry! Me be owen Ya Harry!~ I reply: ~George my Brother, You don't owe me anything! You give me everything I need just by being the friend you are! You see George, Good friends are hard to come by, & I hit the Jackpot when I came by you!~ He's looking at me with a kind of Brotherly love in his eyes & says: ~Harry, ya like me Brudder & Me love ya like me Blood, If ya ever be needen somthin, ya be lettin me know! I reply: ~You got it George! Eat up my Brother!~ We toast to friendship & enjoy our meal together! We finish up, have one more beer & go home to the wives. I have to say, I enjoyed my day with George! I haven't been out for a Beer with a friend in a long time! I'm home about 6:00pm & I walk in the door, Mary kisses me & says: ~Hello Dear, enjoy your day out with George?~ I reply: ~I did Darling! I really like George. He's really a great guy! She replies: ~That's Good my Harry, it's about time you had a friend! We're having Pot roast for dinner, green beans. Mashed Potatoes & brown gravy.~ I reply: ~My Darling, how did I ever get so lucky to have you come into life?~ She replies: ~I don't know Harry, you might ask John Ross that!~ Turns around & starts to walk away, stops, turns, smiles & winks at me, then goes into the kitchen. She had me going for a moment! I love her so much! I'm going upstairs & clean up for dinner! That's better, I'm starved! I go to the Dining room & sit down at the end of the table. JR is already sitting & Kellyanne has joined us for dinner. She's trying to spend as much time time with him as possible as he will be leaving for School Monday morning. Tomorrow is Easter Sunday. We will be attending Church. I ask Kellyanne: ~Will you & your family be attending Church for Easter Sunday Kellyanne?~ She replies: ~Yes Sir Mr Newport! We attend at the First Baptist Church of Key Largo. I say: ~If it's alright with your parents, I don't mind picking you up in the morning & you & JR can attend together since we all go to the same Church.~ She replies: ~'O Mr Newport, thank you so much. I'm sure it'll be fine. I'll have my daddy call you.~ I say: ~That's okay Kellyanne, I'll call him after dinner!~ She replies: ~Thank you Mr Newport! I say Mary: ~Darling, everything looks so wonderful. Smells absolutely delicious!~ She replies: ~Well thank you my Harry, I hope you enjoy it. I know Pot roast is yours & John Ross's favorite.~ Mary is always thinking the best for us. I really have to do something special for her! After dinner I tell Mary: ~Darling, take the night off my love, I'm going to do the dishes & clean the kitchen up! You two kids go spend time together!~ My wife looks at me, smiles & says: ~Thank you My Harry, & that was nice of you, what you said to the kids! & Harry, I love you!~ I finish up the kitchen & join my wife in the other room. We sit down & just listen to music. We turn on the radio & listen to Oldies but Goodies & talk about when we first met & fell in love. We cuddle & like Teenagers (Make out) on the sofa! It feels good to just spend time with my wife. Before we know it, 10:00pm comes about & I need to get Kellyanne home! I kiss my wife & holler: ~Lets go! The kids come right away & we load up in the Beamer & take Kellyanne home! JR escorts her to the door & assures she's inside. He gets back in the car & we head home! We get home & I go upstairs, open the bedroom door & my Beautiful wife is already in bed. She says:~Hello Big Boy!~ She pulls back the sheets & there she is, more beautiful than any woman on this Earth & as naked as the day God created her. All I can do is to disrobe & join her in this rendezvous of love. Goodnight all! 

Easter Sunday April 21 We're all up & ready bright & early! It's Easter Sunday! Church isn't until 9:00am but my Wife still has to have an Easter Basket for her John Ross! & he's just as excited as he was when he received his first one! She calls:~ John Ross!~ He replies: ~Yes Mother? Coming Mom! He enters the Library & sees the Basket & as usual becomes excited at the prospect of what's in it! He doesn't believe in the Easter Bunny any longer but he knows the Easter Mommy got it for him. He opens his arms & gives her a Bear hug & then says: ~Oh no, Mom! You alright! I'm so sorry. Did I hurt you.~ She stops him & says: ~John Ross, it's okay my Baby, you didn't hurt me. You can show me love. It's fine!~ A world of relief came over his face & he was happy again! That boy would go through Hell for his Mother! There is chocolate bunnies, licorice, jelly beans, chewing gum, peanuts, corn nuts, homemade chocolate chip cookies, waiting tablets & pencils, socks & underwear, & everything a boy coul need at school as well as other favorite things of his! He says: ~Mom, you thought of everything!~ She replies: ~I tried My John Ross! There's an envelope in there too. Open it when you get to School, not before!~ He replies: ~Yes Mam! I love you Mom. She kisses him on the cheek & he hugs & kisses her back. That boy loves his Mother & she loves him! It's 8:15am & we've got to get going if we're going to pick Kellyanne up & get to Church on time! We arrive at George's at 8:30am & Kellyann is waiting on the Doorsteps. JR rushes up & escorts her to the car & helps her in the backseat. He's quite the Gentleman, (Takes after his old Dad if I say so myself) We're on our way! We arrive at the First Baptist Church of Key Largo at 8:55am with George & Lucy close behind! We walk the doors & are greeted by Bishop Gilbert who will be conducting the Easter Services, & Pastor James, the Sitting Pastor of the Church. We shake hands & are ushered in & seated, Followed directly by George & Lucy! Service is beginning. "Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord God Almighty........ "The hymn plays as the Bishop leads the Pastor, the Bible bearer, Candle lighters, Visiting Pastors & special Guest. Finally the Choir comes in from the rear of the Altar.................. 12:00pm Church ends & I'm taking everyone out to lunch: ~George, you coming?~ He replies: ~Where to Mate~ I say: ~Easter Dinner George, you coming?~ He replies: ~aye, Me belly achin, talkin to me it be!

We head to Gus's Grille in the Marriott. Great dining. It's 1240pm & we arrive. We tip the Valet, go inside. I've already called ahead so no waiting. We have Prime rib cooked to perfection & a beautiful Honey Baked Ham w/ all the fixings. It's a wonderful meal. It's 5:00pm & we're finished eating. I pay the tab & tip out. We need to get home! I promise George to have Kellyanne home by 9:30pm. JR will be leaving on a 5:00am flight to Brownsville Texas. There's no tours scheduled for tomorrow so I tell him he can take the day off! We're home, it's 6:15pm & we go inside. Easter Dinner was big so Mary decides she's just going to prepare sandwiches & chips for tonight. Kids can spend what time they have together & we'll just kick back & enjoy each other's company! It's 8:30pm : I have to take Kellyann home. I can hear her crying and telling JR: ~'O John Ross, I'm going to miss you terribly. What am I going to do? I love you so much John Ross. Please come back to me soon?~ He replies: ~I love you too Kellyanne with all my heart. I'll be back in December! I promise. We're all going up to my Grandma's Mansion for Christmas Vacation together. You're just going to love it!~ I get to the corner as he embraces her & stop! They kiss & only after do I enter. I say: ~Let's go kids, I promised your Father Kellyann that you'd be home by 9:30pm.~She replies: ~Yes Sir Mr Newport!~ JR escorts her to the Beamer, we load up & head for her house. We arrive at 9:25pm & JR escorts her to the door & kisses her one final time just before Lucy opens the door. He comes back to the car & we head home. We get home & He's silent. I say: ~JR, won't be long & you'll be home!~ He replies: ~I know Dad, I'm just going to miss her! I love her Dad, I mean I really love her! I don't even look at another girl Dad. She's the only girl I've ever wanted!~ I reply: ~You know son, that's the way it is with us Newport Men! Your Great Grandfather, Your Grandfather, yes & me too! I never looked at or wanted another woman until I lost your Mother Julia! She was my everything. You were the only reason I stayed together after her death! Then came Mary. She taught me that I could love again. & You loved her too, even better she loved you! I really in my heart think Julia guided us to Mary!~ He replies: ~You know Dad, I never told anyone, but, I use to dream about her, you know my Mother! In my dream she would tell me it's okay to love her. She told me: ~She loves you very much! She'll take care of you John Ross! You & your Daddy need her! I've never forgot my birth Mom & never will, but I love Mom too with all my heart & soul!~ I reply: ~I know son, & she knows too! & Julia's looking down on you from Heaven with pride! She came to me in a dream once too! You're the only one I've ever told!~ He turns to me & smiles. We're home & we go inside & go upstairs. We've got to get up early in the morning. My Beautiful wife is tired out & in bed already. I tip toe into the bedroom, disrobe, climb into bed, kiss her gently, wrap my arms around her & fall asleep knowing I have the best woman man could ever have in life, in my arms! Monday, April 22nd Alarm going off, it's 2:30am! I reach over & gently tap my wife on her shoulder & say: ~Mary, time to wake Darling, we've got to take JR to the Airport. We want to make sure he eats a good breakfast!~ She rolls over & says: ~Okay my Harry!~ I go in the Bathroom, wash up & shave. I go down stairs & put on the coffee. I go back upstairs & make sure JR is awake & getting ready! I go back down stairs, Cook some bacon up, scramble some eggs and cheddar cheese, throw some frozen biscuits I keep on hand just for these occasions in the oven. I put butter & jelly on the table. I'm pouring the coffee as my Beautiful wife is coming down the stairs! She's quite happy to just sit down to a cup of coffee & wake up! I kiss her Good morning, tell her how beautiful she is & how much I love her! By that time here come our young Marine! I say: ~Hungry son?~ He replies Yes Dad, thanks. I'm starving!~ We eat, I pick up the table & leave the dishes until I get home. I take JR's Bags out to the Beamer & load them up in the trunk. I come back in & escort my wife to the car & we're off to the Airport! His flight leaves at 5:00am & we want to get him checked in so we can sit with him a little bit before he has to go through Security! We reach the Miami International by 3:45am. It's early & I drop Mary & JR of at the Curb. I park in the Garage & walk across to the terminal! I meet the at the self Check-in. We have fifteen minutes to sit & say goodbye. I see the tears already forming in Mary's eyes! JR says: ~Mom, please don't cry, I'll be back soon! You're making me feel bad, I can't stand to see you cry Mom, please? I love you!~ I say to JR: ~ She'll be fine son. She loves you & just doesn't want to see you go. She understands though but she still going to she tears. That's her heart!~ He replies: ~I know Dad, but I don't like to see my Mom cry! It breaks my heart!~ She interrupts: ~I'm sorry John Ross, I'm just going to miss having you around! I just love you so much!~ He replies: ~ No Mom, you don't mind have anything to be sorry about! Don't worry about it! Oh Man, Their beginning to run us through Security. I've got to go. Mom, give me Love, Dad you too!~ He hugs us & we say Goodbye. He runs to the gate just in time to get through the line. We wait to hear that his flight takes off on time before we leave! I tell my wife: ~Darling, you sit here while I go get the car!~ I walk across to the Garage & pick up the Beamer, drive around the circle & stop at the terminal. I escort my wife to the car help her in. We head home. We get about home at 6:45am giving the traffic! I help my wife out of the car & escort her to the house. We go into the kitchen & I tell my Mary: ~Darling, why don't you go ahead & get a little more sleep. I'm going to clean up these dishes! I might come up & join you afterwards!~ She replies: ~Okay my Harry, I'm going to do that. I'm still quite tired! Please come upstairs after your done? I want you to hold me!~ I reply: ~I promise Darling, directly!~ She goes upstairs & lays down. I do the dishes up, doesn't take long & I follow her upstairs! I climb in bed & wrap my arms around her & thank God she's mine. I fall asleep. We both wake together. The alarm is ringing, Mary has it set for 10:00am! We smile, kiss each other & get up. We go in the bathroom & take a shower together! I love taking a shower with my wife. But no Hanky Panky this time! She's a bit sad about our son having to go back to school today. I'm going to let her have some time! We get dressed & go downstairs & I put some coffee on while Mary prepared us some lunch! I ask her: ~Darling, is there anything special you'd like to do today?~ She replies~ 'O yes my sweet Harry! I want to go shopping. I'm going to need Maternity clothes. We need to start thinking about Baby furniture. We'll worry about clothing after we learn if we're having a boy or a girl!~ I reply: ~Very well my Darling, I think that's a great idea! Let's go shopping! We drink our coffee & eat our Brunch, load up in the Beamer & head for Refined Legacy Maternity Wear. My wife has very good but conservative taste in clothes. 3 hours at Legacy & next stop is Mark's & Spencer's. I've never been Maternity shopping before. Kind of fun watching my wife pick things out, allowing for her stomach to grow for the Baby. Her face has such a gleem to it. She's so happy. That makes me happy. We're truly Blessed! It's 6:50pm & I tell Mary: ~Darling, I love you, I know you're invincible, but you still have to eat if you want to remain so! Let's go get a bite?~ She replies: ~You're right my Harry, & I am quite hungry! Where do you suggest?~ I say: ~I'm thinking "The Pelican" You feeling like some Spaghetti & Meatballs Darling! My Parents fell in love over Spaghetti & Meatballs!~ She replies: ~'O my Harry, that sounds absolutely delicious. I've actually been craving that! How'd you know?~ I reply: ~Oh just a wild guess my Darling, I've kind of been craving it myself!~ We both break out in laughter..... I carry the bags to the car and load them up in the trunk. Help my lovely wife into the car & drive the couple blocks to The Restaurant. We park in the parking lot & I take my wife arm in arm & escort her inside the restaurant. We're seated almost immediately as the Owner knows my Father. I thank him & he asks that I give him my regards. I tell him that I would be pleased to do so! The waiter takes our order almost immediately & brings us complimentary drinks. I a Red wine & Mary a Sweet Tea. We both order you guessed it: Spaghetti & Meatballs! We had a fantastic meal. It's about 9:00pm & we need to get going. It's been a long day. I ask my wife: ~Darling, I promise, I will take you shopping for Baby furniture on Saturday! Is that okay with you? If not, I'll take tomorrow off!~ She replies: ~My Harry, my sweet sweet Harry! Always trying to make me Happy! Only thing is about that Harry. I'm already Happy just being with you! Of course it's alright!~ Let's go home, I'm tired Harry!~ I call the waiter, pay the tab & tip 30%. I escort my wife to the car & we head home, go inside & go to bed. I love this Woman. Goodnight! Tuesday It's 5:30am & I pick George up for work & we stop at Cafe Mocha for Coffee & Doughnuts. We're on our way & reach the Marina by 6:00am.Tours not scheduled until 8:00am so we can relax & drink our coffee & eat our doughnuts.Talk about our kids awhile! Awe, it's 7:30pm, I say: ~Time we get on it George! The Clients will be here soon! Scuba Diving Pennekamp State Park near the Christ of The Abyss. Diving around the old wrecks. Be back around 6:00pm. We get done with the precheck just as the clients arrive! I greet them & welcome them aboard. A Father Ron Vincent Sr, & Son Ron Jr.! I give the order: ~Take her out George!~ He replies ~aye aye Captain! Takes the helm & steady as she goes at 2 knots gradually increasing to 5 knots. I explain: ~We're only a few miles from the park so no need to rush. Just sit back & enjoy the ride! Can I get you to gentleman a cold drink or water?~ They both decline for now & enjoy the trip out. We make the trip in an hour. They break out their gear, do their safety checks, walk down the ladder to the platform & dive! They come up periodically throughout the day. It's 12:30:pm & I ask George if he's got lunch & he replies: ~aye Harry, Me Lucy maked me a Hardy meal fer me takin! Ah dat Lucy, she be lovin me she be! Me be a lucky man Captain, aye a lucky man!~ I've got a bag lunch Mary put one together here for me. Couple Roast beef & Cheese Sandwiches. Chips. Couple Oranges. Apple pie. Two hard boiled eggs. Woman knows what I like. We have plenty of iced down Sodas & water. About two more hours & we'll be ready to head into shore! 4:00pm both men are out of the water & we're on our way back in. We're about an hour out so we'll take it slow & easy, no rush! I offer the men some water & they are quite thirsty as I thought they might be! They dry off & change into street clothes on the way back to shore! We're pulling into Pier 17 right at 5:23pm. Mr Vincent Pays me 500.00 for the day & thanks us for a great time. He salutes George as if he recognizes him & George salutes back! We tie the "Willow" up, wash her. Check the tanks, oil & put her to bed for the night! We load up in the Beamer & head towards George's house! I ask George: ~What exactly did you do in the Navy old Buddy? Seems like you have a lot of respect around here!~ He replies: ~ Ahh Harry, dat be somethin Me not be talkin about me brother! Dat be given me pain terribly!~ I drop George off at 6:45pm & head home. I'm starved. I'm thinking that after dinner I'm going to do a little research on George's Naval Service. Just because I think he deserves allot more respect than he gets. I get home at 7:00pm & my wife is waiting dinner for me. I kiss her & say: ~Darling, I love you. Sorry I'm late. But it's been a long day!~ She replies: ~I understand my Harry, Ribeye steak & Baked Potatoes w/fixings. Cold beer.~ Perfect dinner after a long day on the water! My wife is the perfect wife! Man, that was delicious & I'm full. I'm going to go in the Library & research on the computer!

US Naval Archives George Christopher Richards MCPO United States Navy #6713211417 Classified 980301-011012 The President of The United States of America takes pride in presenting the Navy Cross to Master Chief Petty Officer George Christopher Richards of The Naval Special Warfare Development Group For the service forth in the following; While acting in support of the Third Battalion, Fifth Marines Regimental Combat Team Operation Enduring Freedom in Afghanistan on 11 October 2001 For distinguished devotion to duty, extraordinary courage and disregard for his own personal safety, and under heavy fire from an Enemy Taliban Machine gun position, rushed and eliminated the target, killing all 4 enemy combatants, thereby saving the lives of his team. MCPO Richards reflected great credit upon himself and upheld the highest tradition of The United States Naval Service!

George W Bush

President

Now I understand! He's a hero. George is a bonafide hero a S.E.A.L.! I'm not even going to mention I was nosy. He's probably got PTSD. Not something to play with! I'll leave well enough alone! My wife walks into the Library & says: ~My Harry, what are you doing in here all by yourself, why don't you come keep a lonely girl company? I've missed you so much today!~ I reply: ~Oh nothing important my Darling! Lonely? I've missed you too! I can barely stand being away from you.~ She looks at me, smiles, takes me by the hand, guides me up the stairs with that sexy look in her eyes & well let's just say: We make up for lost time! Goodnight!

4:30am & I pick George up & we stop at the Mocha Cafe for our Daily shot of Coffee & doughnuts. I've decided to fill a thermos this morning. Just some days I need that extra boost of caffeine! We're on the move. I ask George: ~Long night?~ He replies: ~aye Harry, me couldn't sleep las night fer me life me Brudder! Dat der coffee, she be magic ya know, fix me right up!~ He laughs under his breath. I reply: ~I know exactly what you mean George, I have the same problem sometimes! I have an extra thermos full if you need some this morning my Brother!~ He looks at me, smiles & replies: ~Me be thankin ya fer it Harry, ya be a Good man ya be!~ We get to the Marina by 5:15am, plenty of time to drink our coffee, eat our doughnuts & wake up all the way. I really enjoy George's company. We have time to sit & talk a while. The clients won't be here until 7:00am It's 6:30am & we do our once over the boat & ready her for the trip. Today's tour is to Key West, about 3 hours each way. Clients are here, John & Michelle Roberts! Daphne St James & her Boyfriend Rick Crimshaw. They want to go out to & see the Whales & Dolphins. I welcome them aboard. I give the order: Take her out!~ George He replies: ~aye aye Captain~ He takes the helm & steady as she goes at 2 knots, gradually increasing to 5 knots cruising speed. This will assure we arrive approximately by 9:30am. We don't want to be on the water after dark! We've arrived & it's 9:38am. We drop anchor & kick back. Before anyone can say a word, a Northern Right Whale is sighted off the Bow, it's a female, pregnant probably! Look, there's another, & a couple Bottlenose Dolphins to the port. These animals never seize to amaze me. Their Beautiful. Julia loved watching them! She always said they were the true Mermaids of the Sea! Their everywhere out here. It's been about three hours & it's time to head for shore. I give the order: ~Take her home George!~ He replies: aye aye Captain!~ He takes the helm increasing a steady as she goes cruising speed of 5 knots. We'll make it to shore about 5:15pm give or take! We're pulling into the Marina. George says: ~slowing to 2 knots Captain.~ I reply: ~Steady as she goes?!~ It's 5:23pm & were pulling aside Pier 17. George is good at what he does! The clients disembark & Mr Roberts pays me $350.00 & I give him my card & thank him. We give the "Willow" the once over, clean & put her to bed for the night. I give George instructions for tomorrow: ~George, here's the keys to the boat, I've got a kid by the name of Nicholas going to meet you here at 6:30am for safety checks. You're the Captain, he knows that! But George, you handle the Boat, make any decisions that has to be made & collect the money. You're the only one I trust. The kid is to do all the work, Okay?~ He replies: ~aye Harry, Me understand Ya, Me won't let ya down me Brother!~ I reply: ~I have no doubt George, that's why you're in charge, I wouldn't want anyone else! Thanks George!~ We get in my Beamer & head home. I drop George off it's 6:30pm. Now to my house. Ahh, home sweet home. There's my Mary. I see her through the kitchen window, as beautiful as ever. It's 6:50pm & I'm walking into my house. I kiss my wife & say: ~ Darling, you're absolutely ravishing tonight.~ I embrace her, kiss her & say: ~I love you with my life, you know, don't you?~ She replies: ~'O my Harry, what's gotten into you? Of course I know that. You show me every day we're together. You're my everything Harry. I love you Harry, you're the only man I've ever loved Harry! From that first Christmas Morning I met you, I was in love with you Harry. I was drawn to you Harry! It was like an Angel telling me that we were meant for each other. I trusted you right away Harry, I seen how good of a man & Father you were. I can't explain it Harry, but I was in love with you! Now sit down Harry. I have your dinner ready! I've made you Chicken Fried Steak, Mashed Potatoes, Country gravy, Southern style cream peas, Green salad & Sweet tea. For dessert Hot Apple pie with vanilla Ice cream. Eat up my Harry..~ I reply: ~Wow, you've really outdone yourself Darling, it all looks so delicious. Thank you my love! I want you to know this! That first Christmas morning we met......I had the same feeling come over me. It was like an Angel touched me! I love you Darling, & I have never had second thoughts!~ She smiles & kisses me & says: ~I'll always be grateful to that Angel. Now eat, before it gets cold. That's my Mama's recipe!~ It's delicious, I mean delicious. If you've ever eaten Chicken Fried Steak in a restaurant, this is 100% more delicious. The gravy is creamy & peppery, the potatoes have a garlic taste to them & the peas, I've never had this way before, delicious, absolutely delicious. I say: ~My Darling, you ever thought of opening a restaurant?~ She replies: ~No my Harry, I'm perfectly happy as a Mother & wife. All I want to do is take care of you!~ She serves me dessert. This Apple pie is bubbling hot. She scoops a hardy serving of ice cream on top & says: ~There you go Big boy!~ winks at me, driving me crazy, & smiles sexy like & says: ~The real dessert is coming after dinner hahaha!~ I look at her & react: ~Mmmmh, Wowww! Thank you Darling!~ This is the best Apple pie I've ever eaten. She's really gone all out tonight. Man I love this Woman. I'm done & I've eaten every bite. I get up & clear the table. I'm not one to leave everything for my wife to do. I just don't think that way, nor did we raise our son that way! I help her with the dishes, we sit in the living room, listen to some Old School & cuddle a while. It's 9:45pm & we go upstairs take a shower together, mess around a bit, go to bed & need I say more? Goodnight!

Thursday morning, April 25th Today is the big day. We're going to find out the gender of the Baby. Mary's Doctor's appointment is at 9:30am & were up & ready. She can't eat or drink anything nor has she had anything since after midnight, per order of the Doctor. She has other tests besides the ultrasound! Oooh I'm so excited! I'm drinking coffee right now to calm my nerves. I know my wife would love to have some but she can't, & she's trying to cut back on it anyways! There she is, coming down the stairs, looking radiant as ever: ~How are you feeling my Darling?~ She replies: ~Oh Harry, excuse me my love, I'm feeling a little queasy. Morning sickness my Harry. Quite normal! Oooh, that's better, comes & goes. I'm getting use to it!~ I reply: ~Is there anything I can do for you to help you get through it Darling?~ She says: ~No Harry, this is something we women just have to go through! It's quite okay, really it is Harry!~ I kiss my lovely wife, it's 8:30am & escort her to the car. We head to Doctor Kleinpeter’s office on the Overseas Hwy. He comes highly recommended. We need to be there for check in by 9:15am. Aah, there it is, I pull into the Driveway, park the car & escort my wife proudly into the Dr's office. It's really quite crowded in here. Must be a great Doctor. Sure allot of pregnant women in here, wow. Oh well, at least our appointment is in fifteen minutes. Oh I see, there's four more Doctors in here, thank God, what a relief! I say: ~Come on Darling, you sit down & I'll check you in. She sits down, I take her paperwork & identification up to the window & they check her in. They call her name, hand her a cup & show her the women's room. She comes out & they take her back to the Doctor directly!.......... Sure seems like she's been in there a while. The nurse comes out & asks me: ~Me Newport, would you like to come back to the room with your wife?~ I excitentely replied: ~Yes, of course I would, thank you!~ I followed her back & Mary was laying on a table with her belly exposed. I said: ~How are you doing Darling?~ She replies~ Just fine my Harry. Ohh, that's cold!~ As the nurse spreads a cold gel on her belly before taking the Ultrasound. This is repeated several times. Mary's face gleems brighter each time as she watches the monitor. We can even hear a Heartbeat. This early in the pregnancy. God truly does perform miracles, doesn't He? It's confirmed, a Boy, my Mary is having a Baby Boy! She has the biggest smile on her face, but I have to admit, I'm overcome with joy myself. I kiss my wife & again tell her I love her. The Doctor tells Marry she can get dressed & says: ~Congratulations, I'll see you two in my office after you're dressed Mary!~ She replies: ~Yes Doctor!~ She gets dressed & we sit & wait for the nurse to take us to the Doctor's office. The Nurse knocks & opens the door. She takes us across the hall to the Doctor's office, knocks & he says: ~ Come~ Nurse opens the door, we enter & sit down. The door closes & the Doctor say: ~How you to doing, get you some to drink Mrs Newport, some Apple juice, maybe some some crackers to go with it? I know you have to be hungry!~ She replies: ~Yes, thank you Doctor, I am!~ He calls the nurse in & has her bring Mary some Juice & Crackers! Water for me! He explains to us that everything looks good & he give her some vitamins & explains that she needs to take them. They're going to constipate her at first but it's normal. He told her to eat, that she's going to gain weight, that it's normal, but to exercise. He suggested a Maternity workout program for her & that she should walk. Cut back on the coffee. A little wine won't hurt once in a while but alcohol in general should be avoided! If she she's feels like something wrong, play it safe. He gave her his card & told her to not hesitate to call him look at any hour day or night! He also gave me his card and said: ~That goes for you too young man, you're in on this too!~ I reply: ~Thank Doctor!~ We walk out the Door, I go to the Window, I pay for the visit & I proudly escort my wife out to the car arm in arm! I take her to Lunch at Mrs Mac's Kitchen. She said: ~My Harry, I'm hungry, but just something light please?~This place has great food, but healthy & light. We park & go inside. The Waitress takes our order: Mary orders Conch Chowder, Baked fish. Key lime pie & Sweet tea. I ordered a Cheeseburger, Fries & Sweet tea. I enjoy spending time out with my wife. I ask my wife: ~Darling, what do you say, after we eat we go hunting for Baby furniture, maybe some clothes too now that we know it's a Boy?~ She replies: ~Thank you my Harry, that is a lovely idea.~ We eat our meals & let it settle a bit. It's 2:00pm. I pay the tab, leave a tip & escort my wife to the car. We head to Miami International Mall to Rooms to go. They have a wonderful selection of Baby furniture I'm told! It's 3:15pm & we're here. The Mall is packed. I got lucky, they have Maternity parking spaces near the entrance. What a wonderful idea. I didn't know they did that! We park & I help my wife out of the car. We walk through the Mall looking for Rooms to go! All the time Window Shopping as we go. She see some Baby rattles & little things that catches her eyes. Oh there's the store! Wow, look at all those little Cribs, Bassinets, curtains & other baby stuff! She is looking carefully for the perfect set! Ahh she's got it! Baby Cache Overland Point Blue in color. 4 piece nursery set. $1200.00. She bought blue curtains, blue Baby towels & washcloths. & Newborn Pampers, enough to last three months. She bought nursing pads. She said: ~Harry, Our son is going to want for nothing! Now let's go home & call my John Ross & give him the news he's been waiting for!~ I replied: Yes my Darling, let me first make arrangements to have these things delivered?~ I give my address to the clerk & assure her of the time & date to have it delivered. I picked up the bags my wife purchased on the way into this store & escort her out to the car. I say: ~Darling, did you enjoy yourself?~ She replies: ~ 'O yes my Harry, I did, I really did. Do you like it Harry? The Nursery set Harry?~ I reply: ~I do Darling, very much! I've always thought you have exquisite taste! Darling, I'll get with George & we'll get started on that nursery this weekend if you'd like?~ She replies: ~Really Harry, that would be marvelous. Thank you Harry, I love you ever so much!~ We're just getting home at 8:00pm. Been a long day. I help my wife out of the car & escort her into the house. I sit her down at the table & say: ~Darling, I know you're hungry, what can I get you?~ She replies: ~'O Harry, I want Pancakes & eggs!~ I look at her, raise my eyebrow & say: ~Okay my Darling, you're every wish is my Command!~ I am now making her Pancakes. Pregnant women crave things, & we men must satisfy those cravings. I am only happy to satisfy my wife's every craving! I place a plate with a stack of Aunt Jemima's Pancakes. I warm her some blackberry syrup up & she's in Heaven. I ask her: ~Darling, can I get you anything else? ~She replies: ~My eggs~ I forgot her eggs! I cook two eggs Sunny side up, place them on a saucer & : ~Your eggs Madam!~ I serve her a glass of juice & she has a good meal. I fix me a ham sandwich, that's all I want for tonight. I bring her the phone. She's got to call JR before lights out. I say: ~The phone my Darling, Getting late & you have to call JR.~ She replies: Thank you Harry, Oh I'm so full, those pancakes were so good. Who taught you to make pancakes?~ I reply: ~My Aunt, Aunt Jemima!~ She looks at me & says: ~You're so silly!~ She calls JR & gives him the news. He's ecstatic about it. He's always wanted a little Brother, now his wish is coming true. I'm finished cleaning up in the kitchen. My wife has already gone upstairs. I lock up & follow her lead. I open the door & she's waiting for me. She says: ~Harry, you haven't fed me dessert yet!~ Well, excuse me while I take care of dessert! Goodnight!

TGIF It's been a long week, can't wait for this day to be over. I want to get started on that Nursery for the Baby. Got to get with George, I'm sure he'll have a ball helping me with it. It's 5:30am & I've arrived at George's, I give him a call & let him know I'm here. He comes right out. He gets in the car & hands me a check for yesterday's Tour's tally. I say: ~Thanks George, but I could have waited a while. I wasn't in no kind of hurry. I trust you. Come on, Let's go get our Caffeine boost!~ He replies:~aye, Me can use it Captain. Ya find out what ya be havin did ya George?~ I reply: ~Sure did George, a Boy, we're going to have a Baby Boy. George, I want to get started on remodeling a room to be used as a nursery. Can you help me old boy?~ He replies: ~aye, me be a might honored me would Mate.~ I say: ~Ok George, first thing in the morning I'll pick you up & we'll go get the materials we need & get started right away. Should be finished by the end of the day. We'll eat at my place tomorrow, is that alright!~ He replies: ~Be sonundin might good Harry!~ There's the Cafe, I stop get our coffee & doughnuts & we head for the Marina! It's 6:15am & we're sitting in front of the "Willow" drinking our coffee & eating our doughnuts. I tell George: ~Clients are just a couple Newly Weds that want to experience what it's like to go out on the water. Paying us $375.00 to find out. We're taking them out for two hours & back. They'll be here here at 8:00am. 7:40am we do our precheck. The clients, Jerry & Angela Williams are here. I welcome them aboard, we congratulate them & have them don life jackets. I give the order: ~Take her out George~ He replies: ~aye aye Captain!~ He takes the helm steady as she goes at 2 knots. We'll not take it over this speed as they've never been on a boat before & we want it to be pleasurable for them. I ask them: ~How are you two doing, can I get you something to drink. I have soft drinks & water!~ Mr Williams just stood & stared & replies: ~Water!~ Mrs Williams looked as if she was actually enjoying herself & replies: ~Please, Sprite, Thank you!~ They seem to be getting along well now. Even Mr Williams. He's drinking Coke now & smiling. It's 12:30pm & time to head back. I give the order: ~Take her home George, & take your time!~ He replies aye aye Captain. Steady as she goes at 1 knot. We get back to the Marina at 2:45pm. Mr & Mrs Williams Thanks us for a most wonderful experience. They tell George that he sure knows how to drive a boat! I thank them & give them my card. He pays me & give us each a $100.00 tip. I look at George and say: ~How about that?~ He just shakes his head, looks at the bill & smiles! We tie the"Willow" up, clean & put her to bed for the weekend. We head for home. I remind George I'll be picking him up about 8:00am. I head home! I always feel good when I get home, it's 4:00pm. I walk in & my beautiful Mary is fixing me dinner. Chicken & Dumplings. I like Chicken & Dumplings. I kiss her & tell her I love her. say: ~Darling, I'm going upstairs & clean up! I'll be back down in a jiffy. She replies: ~Okay Harry, Dinner will be ready in a few minutes.~ I go upstairs & wash up. Man I needed that! I come back down & Mary's got dinner on the table. I tell her: ~Darling, you never seize to amaze me! You always seem to put a delicious meal on the table every night! I find myself the luckiest man on Earth~ We eat & I help clear the table. I volunteer to do the dishes & my wife rejects it's but says: ~'O my Harry, I do appreciate it, but you worked hard today! But here, I'll wash & you can dry!~ I reply: ~I accept my Darling with pleasure!~ We do the dishes, go upstairs & make an early night of it. Maybe not that early. Goodnight!

Saturday, April 27 Delivery day Remodeling for the Nursery 6:00am & I'm drinking coffee & waking up. Got to go pick up George & go by Home Depot for some supplies. Minor remodeling will accomplish what we need. We have the room, just want to make it into a Nursery. I'm going to put a Baby washing area in the room next to the Nursery so not to have to go to far. The Nursery of course will be next to our room with a double door opening. Ok, I'm on my way to get George. I'm excited about working on this project. A Baby, we're going to have a baby. Oh, almost passed George's. Let me call him, oh, there he comes: ~Hey George, how you feeling this morning?~ He replies: ~Gran, Me be feelin jus gran Harry! How ya be me Brother?~ I reply: ~Im feeling real good George! Can't wait to get started, really quite excited about it to tell the truth!~ He replies: ~Me knows Harry, haha, ya face be shown it like da sun!~ I reply: ~I'm happy George, really happy~ Here we are, Home Depot! We go inside. We pick up the supplies we need & head home. We figure it's going to take us a good seven hours between us to get the job done. We head home with Home Depot delivery following behind. We're home. It's 10:30am. Rooms to go has already delivered the Baby furniture. We get started right off. If we work only taking thirty minutes for lunch, we can finish this job by 7:30pm. Mary & Lucy has promise us a Dinner of Delights. Kellyanne is making Dessert. She has requested to be an alternative God Mother & we have agreed! We've been working now more than two hours & we're more thirsty than hungry but the ladies insist we stop & eat. They bring us Sweet tea & Ham & Cheese Sandwiches, Chips & some whole Dill Pickles. This is Florida & we do love our pickles! We stay on schedule & get back to work right away. Been a good six hours now & it's looking really good in here. All we have left is to put up the Double doors & paint the room. Haha, 7:15pm & we're ahead of schedule. The Nursery is finished.

"Mary's Inspection" I say: ~Come on George, Let's go get Mary & Lucy! I want my Mary to see this so I can see her face. She'll be so happy!~ He replies: ~aye Harry, dat she be! Dis be pretty nice Harry, I be thankin ya fer lettin me be part of it!~ I say: ~No George, I couldn't have done it without you! You are my very best friend & I'll always be there for you! He's got tears in his eyes again. This is a strong man, but a man with a heart! He replies: ~Me be thankin ya me Brudder with all me heart!! We went downstairs & I take Mary by the hand & tell her: ~Darling, come upstairs, I want you to see something!~ Lucy & Kellyanne followed. We get upstairs & I say: ~Now close your eyes my love! (I open the door, guide her in) now open your eyes!~ She reacts: ~Ohhhh Ohhhhhh 'O my Harry, Oh & you too George! It's sohhh beautiful! Look Lucy, have you ever? Oh Harry, you've made me so happy! Now, you two boys have got to be starving! Your dinner is hot & waiting for you. Oh Harry, I just love you so much, thank you! George; Thank you too, you're a real friend!~ We all go downstairs & we sit down at the table for dinner. We have Pork Roast, Baked Potatoes, Green Bean Salad, Corn on the Cob, Peach Cobbler, Sweet Tea, or Beer. The Ladies really went out. Kellyann made the Peach Cobbler! I say: ~Everything Looks so delicious! You all went way out! I can't wait to dig in!~ George says: ~aye, me too, Let's be eatin!~ He smiles, winks at Lucy! Lucy says: ~George, prayers!~ He replies: ~Oh, ya, Me be fergetin!~ I say prayers & we eat some really fantastic, fit for Royalty food! I say: Kellyanne: This your Mom's Peach Cobbler recipe? It's the best I've ever tasted. I can say that because Mary's never made me any. She's famous for Blueberry pie.~ She replies: ~No sir, My Granny taught me to make that! She use to say: -dat ders Texas peach Cobbler Kellyanne- & Don't ya be fergetin! & I haven't. I'm glad you liked it Sir!~ I replied: ~I did, very much! Thank you!~ We eat up. We offer to help with the dishes but the women folk won't hear of it! They insist that we did such a fine job on the Nursery that we deserve to sit this one out! 

We go to the Library. I ask George: ~Want a Warm Brandy & a Havana? ~He looks at me with such surprise & replies in a Whisper: ~Ya be havin Cubans?~ He shakes his head yes & smiles like a child! I go to the safe & pull out a box of Havana hand wrapped Cuban Cigars. I take two out & put the box back in the safe! I pour us a Brandy Glass each & warm it to room temperature in the palm of my hand as heat tends to destroy the flavor of good Brandy! I handed George a Cigar & cutter, then the Brandy. Next I cut the end off my Havana & put it in my mouth. I lit George's Cigar then mine & toasted our friendship & our wives, children & the new baby to come! George says: ~Dis be really good Harry! Really good!~ I reply: ~I know George, I save this just for my special friends & guess what?~ He reacts with a huh & a raised eyebrow!~ I say: ~You're the only one I've ever offered one to!~ He raises both eyebrows, smiles, says: ~Really!~ We both hug like brothers & give it a hardy laugh! George is really like a Brother to me. I have two, I love dearly, wouldn't trade for the world, but God has Blessed me with another! The ladies finish up in the kitchen, they're tired & Lucy says: ~George, I've been on my feet all day, do you mind if we go home. It's 10:30pm? I want to go to Church in the Morning!~ He replies: ~No Me little Honeybun! He looks at me & says: -Excuse me Harry why me be taken me little wife home- He says to Lucy: Der der me love, let's go!~ I look at my cigar & wonder if it may have had an effect on him. I never seen George act like that. I would almost say he was acting frisky. Oh well as the French say c'est la vie. My wife looks tired too. I kiss her, just pick her up & carry her upstairs. We shower, go to bed & just fall asleep in each other's arms. Thank you God for everything. Amen

Sunday morning

7:00am & we're sitting at the table eating breakfast & drinking coffee. We've got to finish getting ready for Church. We're meeting George & Lucy there at 8:45 am so we can congregate a little before services begin. Awh my wife's look beautiful this morning. She's wearing all white. She looks like an Angel.

It's 8:05am, I escort my wife to the car & help her in, close the door. I get in & we head to the Church. Takes about twenty minutes to get there so I have plenty of time. We're here, it's 8:40am. George is just pulling up behind me. It's funny how the two of us seen to time things so closely. I park & open the door for Mary & we walk up to the door & shake the Pastor's hand. He says: ~Good morning Harry, Mary! This is the Day that our Lord has made! God Bless you. Good morning George, Lucy, Kellyann! This is the Day that our Lord has made! God Bless you!~We all go inside & meet up in the foyer & congregate. This is the time we see people that sometimes we don't see for months at a time. There the bell, Church is about to begin. Music is playing,.............! It's 12:30pm & Church is over. I'm taking my beautiful wife to lunch. I ask Mary: ~Would you like George & Lucy to join us or just the two of this time?~ She replies: ~Oh no Harry, that's fine! I enjoy their company! Invite them.~ I say: ~Hey George, Coming to lunch with us?~ Nay Harry, Me be thankin ya though! Its me Lucy & me's Anniversary Harry!~ I think to myself, that's why he was acting so funny last night. I reply: ~George, I didn't know, why didn't you tell me? I would have done something for you!~ He replies: Me don't want no fuss Harry. Me be owen ya Harry. Ya me Brother, Me Love ya Harry! Thank ya Harry.~take my wife to lunch at the Buzzard's Roost Steak House. I tip the Valet & we go inside. We're seated right away as I've called ahead Mary's drinking Lemonade & I'm having Sweet tea. She's decided on a seafood platter, I'm going to settle on the Cowboys Steak, Fries & Salad. I say: ~We've got to get them an Anniversary gift at least. I know George's a proud man. He doesn't want anything that he didn't earn. But I got to figure out what we can give them that he wouldn't think is Charity!~ She replies: ~You leave that to me Harry! I'll talk to Lucy tomorrow! We'll figure something out!~ I reply: ~I don't even know why I worry about things Darling? You always have a solution! Thank you Darling.~

#newports

[edgar-allan-foe]

[nameless short story]

Word Count: almost 2k with a crap ton of talking/fluff

A/N:  I haven’t been writing in a long time since college kind of sucked the life out of me for five years; however, I’ve been having a lot of personal issues arise lately and I find this as a coping mechanism (especially with my job/boss). ps - im sick D:

Shout-out to @tinny-tin, @lloyd-g, and @stiles-derpinski for being awesome and wanting to see my work.

All I see is red and blue. Everywhere. This kid is going to end up giving me a heart attack. It’s a Wednesday night and usually Peter is coming home from band practice, but in the last six months I’ve seen nothing from this boy – no instruments, no science projects gone wrong, just nothing. I feel like I’m losing him all over again since Ben. That boy was Ben’s entire world let me tell you. The way he boasted about winning the regional science fair two years in a row to how Peter was selected for Midtown’s academic bowl, his eyes glistened with tears of joy. It was as if Peter was his son this entire time.

Tonight, I lie awake worrying about this boy like I usually do. It was taco night since yesterday I saw no trace of him until he got up today to get to school. But like Ben, Peter would never voice what was rattling in his head…what kept him out all night. I always tell myself that I hope he’s talking to Ben somehow through all of this, for us. As I start to drift away from following the news as background noise and beginning a new knitting project, I hear the back window crack just slightly. At this point, the creaks and leaks throughout this apartment don’t phase me, they just give the place character.

“Crap!”

“Who’s out there!?” I screamed. I am not the type to fight, but I was boiling over with the constant absences of Peter these past couple days. It’s like this kid doesn’t have a home. I grab my extra knitting needle and tuck it underneath my skirt. I don’t think I’ve heard of anyone use one of these for self-defense in any crime show, but it’s worth a shot on being creative and terrified all at once. I hear the window squeak once more as I inch closer to my nephew’s room. One could easily shrug this off as the wind or an alley cat, but with all the horrible things happening in the neighborhood recently, I am not in any position to risk it. I place my hand by my hip, ready to grab the needle, and swing the door right open to a –

“AUNT MAY! Jesus! Put that thing down!”

“Peter! PETER!? Where the hell have you been?” I shouted. I hated yelling at my boy like this, but there was no other way to let it all out. “Y’know…I’ve made dinner, did your laundry, even ironed your decathlon jacket, and not once have I even heard you say ‘thank you’. I’m getting so tired…so frustrated. Just tell me what’s going on. Please.” I sit on the edge of the bed ready to start crying. These tears have been busting to come out for the past two weeks and it was time to let out Niagara Falls.

“May…please…stop. Don’t cry.” Peter was the sweetest kid you could ever imagine. Have you ever seen those 60s commercials for baby food where the perfect child with the biggest eyes and soft, angelic curls just makes a mess with mashed peaches and greens? That was Peter. Most definitely my boy, but fast-forwarded 15 years. When he was born, I use to call him ‘PB’ for short – Peter Benjamin Parker. His newborn locks would just sit on the sides of his face, tempting you to push them behind those ears and make room for all that gushing. He was a good kid. A lovely little thing. I slowly drop the knitting needle to the floor and embrace Peter for a long-deserved hug.

“Aunt May, I can explain. I know I haven’t been home a lot and I swear, I’ll –”

“Peter, I know you’re lying.”

“May, I love you and I am so sorry. It’s just this internship means everything to me. I know I haven’t been open with everything that has been happening, but it’s some seriously awesome stuff you wouldn’t believe it! Like today at school, I found out that I can use the gravity formula from Mr. Watson’s physics homework to detect the angle in which the Iron-Man suit needs to be elevated to reach maximum speeds for flight! Like it was the coolest thing ever to even think of stuff like that. Oh, and –”

“Okay, okay. Enough Peter. I get it, you love what you do. But promise me something,” I took a deep breath before I can finish my sentence. “Just come home, please. We – erh, I mean ‘I’ – I miss you, honey.” It’s so hard to not include Ben in every little bit of Peter’s life. They were always together and I know in my heart he would be so proud. After calming down a bit, I noticed on the edge of Peter’s eyebrow some small bruising. It was fresh, at least within the last couple hours. I’ve gotten so use to this child getting beat up, I almost expect it. Last time he came home with a black eye, he mentioned a kid named Steve from Brooklyn. Not entirely sure what Peter would be doing over there so late at night…it took at least 30 minutes without traffic to even make it to the outskirts Prospect Park – Peter’s favorite place since he was a little one. Also, doesn’t Ned live 2 blocks from us? I cannot even begin to describe how many times I’ve seen Ned in the past week looking for Peter. It’s as if he’s forgotten about his best friend too.

           “I swear…every time I feel like I’m on to something and report back to Happy…I end up not being so happy…with myself”, I whispered. I shrug off my blue sweater throw my backpack in the corner. I think that was a first for me to even remember where I place my backpack nowadays. I didn’t do too much in the suit today; in fact, I didn’t even do anything at all. I swung around and helped an elderly man get his cat from inside a dumpster. Quite large. Very fluffy. Calico? I took a few photos of some pigeons. Oh, and escaped a near arrest yet again! I should try to be more careful when interacting with cops, but hey, it happens. A lot of what I’ve been doing since school’s been out hasn’t been all too much. I wouldn’t even try calling it “crime fighting”. I finally perfected my training wheels protocol for shooting web grenades down by Coney though! That was amazing on how precise my vision has become with the new suit…or Karen. Should I even call her Karen? Where did I even come up with the name for Karen? Anywho, from now on I’ll have to respect both suit and her.

           My reports have gotten a lot less action-ey if you could call it that. With all the focus on just utilizing the suit without Mr. Stark replacing the tracking system, I feel a bit lost honestly. Not much is happening now in the concrete jungle. Summer is practically gone. I can smell the new textbooks in my locker already and the musk of Midtown’s hallways by the main office. It’s as if the world knows who I really am now, especially now with Mr. Toomes in jail. I slip back on my mask and make sure the bedroom door is locked. May hates it when I lock the door, so I’ve developed a new habit of playing some of my cassettes when I’m home. She seems to be liking my taste recently. I made a recent shift to listening to classic rock when building Lego empires with Ned or doing homework. It replaces the need for me to talk everyone to death, including myself.

           “Hello, Peter. Lovely evening, isn’t it? What’s with the music?” Karen is quite charming when activated I must say.

           “Nothing, I just needed someone to talk to.”

           “Well…you got me. Would you like me to initiate night mode for you?” It’s gotten quite dark since I came back. My eyes usually dim to the size of a rice grain since the bite. It’s been harder to really keep focus too when I’m reading. “Sure! Thanks Karen! I don’t thank you enough really”, I replied. “So…Karen…what can you tell me about…emotions?” I had no idea where to start. Quite frankly, I am known for terrible first impressions. Most say I’m a world record holder in that.

           “Okay. According Webster’s dictionary, emotions are defined as an intuitive or instinctive mental state based on reason, recent events, or your surroundings.” She does this a lot, so I let her talk.

           “Alriiiiight. What can you tell me about falling in love?”

           “Is this about Liz? Go tell her, she would love to hear what you really feel about her.”

           “I –I can’t. You know I am the reason she’s moving to Oregon.” My eyes are beginning to water so much, it’s hard to really keep it from destroying the mask. Karen is known to start the vacuum inside to keep it dry. She’s like May 2.0 really. “I’m sorry Karen, I feel like I’m pushing everyone away with being Spider-Man. I know what I am and who I am, but I don’t know what I want. I know I want something outside of this Stark-universe. I want to be a normal teenager again.”

           “But you are, Peter.” She deactivated the vacuum so her AI voice resonates a bit clearer. “You’re showing your emotions right now and that is what makes you normal. It’s part of growing up.” My sobbing has mellowed out to that of a puppy huffing in it’s sleep.

           “You’re right. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay? Goodnight Karen.” I peeled off the mask before I could even hear a response.

           “Goodnight Peter.”

#spiderman: hoco #It's Spiderman related #spiderman homecoming #peter parker #aunt may #spiderman: homecoming #fanfic #mcu #i dont know how to input a gif #sorry my writing sucks #personal #writer #tom holland

[atpeacewithme-blog1]

*November 28th, 2016

Hey. It’s been a while. Give me a minute to catch up and read what I told you last. Okay wow. Well where to start. lets see…… Well Beauty and the Beast went… well. it was odd. Two nights before opening night a mom/co-director yelled at the director in from of the whole cast and took her children out of the show. one of them was a lead role. we has to switch around role but we made it work. opening night was great but then Frank (The Beast) got horribly sick and couldn’t come in for the next show so our Gaston (Justin) stepped in as Beast, our feather duster (Pearl) stepped in as Gaston, and a tech girl stepped in as feather duster. It was rough but we made it work, that was closing night. I was in a small ensamble concert with a couple friends June 9th 2016. We sang a choral piece we did last year called can’t think of a fake song name so I am putting nothing lol. It is such a beautiful piece. I went to a shrink for the first time and got medication for my Bipolar Depression. I joined band CLASS for senior year playing Mellophone and that is exciting. I started practicing in May during my lunch and then went to all the summer lessons even though I didn’t really need to because they were doing music I wouldn’t have to do but I eventually to tested on that so I am glad I went to those. I got my senior pictures taken July 11th 2016 and most of them turned out horrible but I really wish we can still order them because come on they are my senior pictures. John took me to a fair July 13th for my birthday and I did some stuff for the first time. JULY 15TH 2016!!!! I took my drivers test and passed, went home to make sure we had everything for the dmv, went to the dmv, didn’t have everything we needed, went home to get my social #, went to dmv, went home because we didn’t have the little blue card, went to dmv, FINALLY got my license. I wore a really cute outfit that day with a cute skirt. a guy commented on my skirt as i was coming out of my car going to the fun group I am in bus for a weekend thing. It was fun, scary because one of the 2 girls (Cerena/Kirsten) were there, but fun. GOT MY CAR JULY 21ST 2016!!!! Here I said what kind of car I have. HER NAME IS GEM!!!I went to a week long trip with that same group and that was also VERY scary because both of those girls were there. some stuff did happen towards the end with them but it didn’t really matter because I did have a fun time. Sport I am in camp was too hot. we had people passing out left and right. the last day we had to take our water breaks inside because it was so bad. I could really feel a difference in myself because of the medicine that I was taking for my depression and that is great. I got out of bed more and hung out with friends and my boyfriend!!! the rest of the summer was pretty fun :) *Rrrrrriiiiiinnnngggg* now time to talk about the beginning of SENIOR YEAR. pf course my schedule was messed up it always is so lets forget about the first few days. I started off perfectly. doing ALL of my work and having an A+ in every class. on September 10th my school had there first football game and my dad let me go out with John afterwards. we parked across from the new pier in my town because the water was nice and I didn’t get home until sometime after 12 because…..well…. lets just say I did something else I never did before. ooh Marie invited me over for Rosh Hashanah and I felt so honored haha. I tell Marie every single little detail that goes on between me and John and she did the same thing to me about her and her boyfriend.Sep. 24th the sport I am in went to their first competition of the season and we won 1st place :) Since I am captain I accept the award with the “co- captains” (they are not really co-captains but idk what else to call them without giving it away. oh well.) and do the salute with them and that was so cool and fun. here lets see if I can write the salute down, this will be difficult. (1-2-3-4-1-2-step-forward-fist and arm point to sky- fist and arm point forward- armdown-look up-arm up and point like pointing to stars and drop it to the right for 5-6-7- look straight ahead- arms sharp low V- right hand salute left hand on hip, 1-2-3-4-right hand fist- arms in fists by my sides) Oct. 8th was our second competition and we got second BUT we went up 4 points, which is a huge jump!! Oct. 14th was Senior night and I felt beautiful out on that field, and yes I did ALMOST cry. Homecoming was nice, I went with Marie’s little brother and I felt beautiful again. The sport rally thing was soo much fun!!!! Oct. 23 was our next compitition because the one on the 22nd got rained out and we got i think it was 5th. we went up maybe half a point. Oct. 29th was John’s 20th birthday. I got him a picture frame with a collage of 3 photos of us. when he opened it he hid behind my shoulder and started to cry. I didn’t know what to do. I asked if he liked it and he said yes thank you so much I love it. I thought that he couldn’t be crying just because of my gift what was going on and all he said was “sorry, it;s just, my birthday is always very stressful.” I still don’t know what happened that day. but I had a great time with him and I hope he also had a great birthday. Oct. 30th was trick or treat and this was the first year i WASNT going door to door. instead I was at my friend Hunter’s house doing his haunted trail. I was the first person the the people walking through would see, I was in the asylum. sadly an hour in it started to thunderstorm. my friends were next in line to walkthrough.I was so upset because I was having an awesome time. Oct. 31st I dressed up as a Disney villain for school and that night was the halloween Parade and since I am the only sport captain I get to walk in the front all by myself!!!. I messed up a couple of times but that is because I was so nervous that I would mess up and the girls behind me would make fun of me.. which I think they did. anyway that night was still fun. My school’s first time going to a big sport’s competition was Nov. 5th and it was a long bus ride and we had to be there at like 4am.  sadly we took 6th out of 8th but we moved up a little more than a point which is the good thing. I was behind on a lot of history work because everytime I had a college visit or a guidance appointment it was during third period. luckily I have a teacher who is still letting me make up all the work im missing. Nov 5-13th we had off for a teachers convention (this is including the weekends btw) and this whole week we were in PA and I looked and my 2 top colleges Seton Hill <3 and West Chester. they were both so beautiful. both so very different. but both so beautiful. Seton Hill is still my top school. Nothing else really has happened since then. I finished my first draft of my college essay today, yesterday I applied for the community college near me, and started on the applications to the other schools I want to apply to. hopefully Ill apply soon. Tomorrow (later today(it is 3am)) starts a few new clubs I joined so I am excited for that, and I believe this year’s musical’s info is coming out either tomorrow (later today) or tuesday (tomrrow). being sport captain is so so so so much fun but very stressful because I know the 4 years do not like having a 3 year tell them what to do. I hear the whispers I am not dumb. but i am putting on my brave face and ignoring it because that is what I have to do. oh and one last thing. Justin is like in love with me and keeps flirting with me. I told him to stop many times and then he does, but then starts up again, the last time he did it was very recent and John said he is getting real tired of it so I hope Justin really does stop this time because I want to be FRIENDS with him because he is a nice kid, but that is all i can and WANT to be, friends. okay now I think you are all caught up. Till next time. Peace.

#journal #journal entry #journal entries #sharing

[pbandjesse]

Im not having a very good time today. Which feels extra bad because yesterday was so nice. I am feeling very weird about everything. Scared about going back to work. Scared about never going back to work. About how my plans may all have to change for the summer. How I was supposed to be with my family this weekend but I am not. I was just so damn tired. It wasnt good. I didnt do much. My low fever from yesterday is gone though, and my cough isnt as frequent. Still gross and hurts but its not as often. So thats postive.

 Im sitting here with James while he played a video game. We tried to play a couple games together today but after a little I would just get to stressed. I just dont find that fun. I just like collecting games. I want to play things with him though and he is trying hard to find things he thinks I would like. And so many are like a penny right now. So I appreciate the effort. Im just tired. 

I slept better last night. But I was woken up by someone playing the radio incredibly loudly out in the street while they trash picked. And like the music was whatever, made me laugh. But then the very loud radio announcements and commercials made me want to scream. That was not a fun way to wake up. 

James tried to make up donuts but they came out all flat and my sense of taste is still very messed up so I didnt enjoy them as much as I hoped. They smelled nice though. And I really love him for trying. 

I got a shower and washed my hair. I felt very good today. I weighed myself and Im down to 159. Thats a 3lb pandemic loss. My rings fit better and this dress wasnt so tight in the boobs. Just gotta keep up the eating habits. Which is both easier and harder when you are just at home. 

Im sort of past the eat all the snacks phase of it. I am mostly just bored. I dont even want to eat because nothing tastes right. 

But that zapped my energy. I enjoyed playing my animal crossing. And I redesigned all of my cabin and camp. But I couldnt get myself to do much else. 

James went for a ride and I was able to muster up some energy to paint on my big painting for a while. That was nice. I didnt do any sewing which Im slightly disappointed in. But thats okay. I could only work for so long before I went and laid down. 

It also really didnt help that it was much colder today then yesterday. I just couldnt seem to get warm. Which made me pretty miserable. I closed all the windows and put on socks and that helped but not as much as I wanted. I did some cleaning. Changed out pillow cases. Tried to make nice. 

I had some pasta salad. Then James was home when I was listening to my podcast. We played some of the games together. But I was hungry and all I wanted was burger king. So we ordered on grubhub. Support those drivers in this weird time. 

The app had a funny mistake in it though. Medium fries were the normal price. Like $2.97 or something. But the large fries were alsmot $10?? How large are these fries?? So we got mediums and waited. 

Didnt take long at all. And it was good to eat something like that honestly. Even with my messed up tastes. It made me feel a little more connected to the outside world maybe? Thats silly but its now been a week since my job interview and any real time I have spent outside of this apartment. I am afraid that Im going to become agoraphobic or something after thing. I miss my family mostly. And I feel very tired. 

After we ate, James asked what he could do to clean because we had done all the normal things. So I gave him so tasks while I laid down. I didnt sleep. I just watched videos and played animal crossing. James came and laid with me for a while and that made me feel calm enough to sleep for a while. 

When I got up James tried to ask when I wanted for dinner but everything savory made me feel kind of sick to think about. So we ended up having crepes with apples. I missed the sunlight but I did get some of a drawing in before it was to dark to see details. Ill finish that tomorrow probably. 

We played a couple levels of this game until I felt to stressed by it. And now I really just want to wash my face and lay back down. I just feel so tired deep in my soul. 

Tomorrow I hope I feel better. I will wear something warmer. I want to feel better. I hope you are all are doing alright. Stay safe. Pray for this all to be over soon. 

[pomegranateseedsonskulls]

Impossible love pt. 3

Word count: 1,992 Rating: pg-13 because of language Pt. 1 PT.2 A/N: I'm on mobile so I'll add the links later. "Where the hell were you last night?" Karma asks. I smirk, I knew she got the information from Jazi because she wasn't here today so that must have meant Jazi told Karma over text. "You don't wanna know," I answer and chuckle a little. Karma nudges my shoulder. "Who did you fuck?" She whispered in my ear. "Nobody you know," I smirk. "Oh really? Was it Peter?" She asks as she raises an eyebrow. "No, why would you even think that?" I blush loudly. "Whatever you say," she smirks and I give her an evil glare. "I have training tonight, so I won't be able to text tonight," I state trying to change the topic. "Oh okay. The bell is gonna ring soon so I'm gonna head to biology," she says and I nod, then she leaves and I slam my locker and there Peter is. I jump a little. "Stalker much?" I ask and he realized that he scared me. "Sorry, your friend just saw me so I assumed you saw me, anyway, why did I come over here?" "I don't know. You tell me," I say to him. "Oh yeah, are you going to training tonight?" "Yes, I'll be staying the night too, my uncle decided that his business trip needed to be one day longer," I comment. "Oh awesome. Aunt May will freak if I stay one more night so I'll be leaving afterwards," he replies. "Awesome. I'll see you there. I have to go to my classes," I leave. All of my classes seem slow today. Maybe I was just dreading this training because I am sore. My back, my shoulders and my calves are super sore. As the day dragged on the training got closer a d I got more anxious. I don't want to do it but I still got nervous. Finally the day ended and Nat was in a nice, black, car. She rolled down the window when she saw me. "Hey could you help me find someone I'm looking for. She's a little too energetic and a superhero," she jokes around and I shake my head then get in the passenger seat. "Oh come on, I think I'm funny," she chuckles. "Well I don't think so, I mean you try too hard, it's like dad jokes but worse and not in a good way," I admit," like someone says "what time is it," and you say "time for you to get a watch," see that's funny." "No, that's just annoying," she replies and I give her a skeptical look. We leave the parking lot and I sit in silence. "Why do you do the things you do? I mean no regular teenager would even think about saving the world," she asks and I smile. "Because I know what it's like when no one is there to help and it is important to be what you want in the world. I was given the opportunity and I took. I learned from my and other people's mistakes," I explain. "When have you needed someone and no one was there?" "Most of my life. I'm very independent because I have to be, not because I want to be. If it was my choice I'd have someone there who would take half of my load. I had a friend, his name was Mike. He told me that when you have no one else in the world that you still have yourself. Even if it's just a shadow or a reflection of yourself you still have you." "Wow, that was optimistically pessimistic." "Yeah, well it's true, that's why I learned that I can't lean on anyone, but I will let others lean on me." "Ah, well we are almost here," she states and I see the tower. I smirk a little and then sigh. "What's the sigh for?" She asks as she raises an eyebrow. "I'm sore. I normally don't do this much training,"  I admit. "Oh," she parks and looks at me and smiles," well, welcome to being an avenger," then she gets out of the car like a supermodel and I get a tad bit jealous. I akward get out of the car and pull my backpack with me. We get into the first floor and she swipes her identification card, I haven't gotten mine yet. She gets off a few floors below me and I get off around floor 30. I go to the bedrooms and start on my homework. After about an hour I get up and change. I have tight, black running pants and an overlarge white shirt that you can kind of see through so my black sports bra shows. I go down into the training room and there was no one in there. I get onto the blue exercise mat and I start doing some karate moves and my warm up. I am practicing my roundhouse kick routine when Steve and Bucky come in. I stop practicing and realize it's been an hour and a half since I finished my warm up, I am extremely sweaty and my white shirt sticks to me. I walk off the mat and go to my water bottle. I get a swig of water and Steve looks at me. "How long have you been practicing?" He asks. "About an hour and a half. I've improved on some of my moves," I state proudly. "Are you able to go against anyone because I don't want to overwork you, I know sparring with someone can be overwhelming, especially after an hour and a half or training." "Yeah, I feel like I could move a mountain right now so of course." I smile and I walk over to them. Bucky has been silent this whole time," so who am I gonna fight?" "Peter because he is your size," he answers. "Oh, I'm guessing I'll be fighting him a lot," I guess. "Yup," he replies. "But that's not fair. I have much more practice from hand to hand combat and I'll beat him," I state because it was unfair for Peter. "You'll be good for him. Don't worry," Steve assures. "Fine." I cross my arm then Peter came through the door," speak of the devil," I mutter and look at him grumpily. Even though my body was still feeling the surge of energy from my workout I stretched. Steve and Bucky fought for 30 minutes which gave me time to cool down from my workout and warm up for the sparring session I was about to do. When Steve finished he motioned for us to get on. I stood nervously in front of Peter, scared that I was going to hurt him but also anxious about the fight. I needed someone just one on one without any powers, just a nice sparring session without being in a life or death situation. I brought my hands up and waited. I let him get the first punch but he didn't take it so I went for his head. He blocked it and we fought from there. It was all really just a blur. I would kick and he would hit back. Somehow he ended up halfway up the wall, like both hands and feet holding himself up and I was close and personal. I was going to punch him and I pulled back the punch when Steve yelled. "That's enough, I think both of you need a break," he yelled and I backed off. Im breathing heavily and extremely sweaty. I walk off the mat without saying anything to Peter. I walk to the bench and stretch for the final time. After a 5 minute cool down I walk to the showers. I take a long, hot shower, I know I'm supposed to take a cold shower but I hate those. I finally stop when all the I can see too much steam but I also knew someone else was taking a shower because I can hear the water. I got distracted by my own thoughts so I don't know who. I dried myself quickly and threw on clothes. I wore black pants that hug my defined legs, sports bra and a baggy hoodie that I stole from one of my friends. It still smells like them after many washes. I snuck out and headed to my bedroom where I closed myself off from the world. I went onto Pinterest and Tumblr for a while, not really doing anything and I wrote a little and I changed my position so many different times that I lost count after 12. Currently my feet were on the bed and my back was on the ground. I knew that it wouldn't last long because my arm started to get tired and then my door opened. My hoodie was riding up on my stomach so it was exposed. I looked up and saw that it was Peter. I got up quickly and realized that my hair is probably a mess, and I look like crap. "FRIDAY can't you warn me please," I yell at the air. "Oh sorry, I didn't mean to barge in. I just wanted to say goodbye. You seemed a little mad at me, I just wanted to see if I did anything wrong," he states and looks at me with those eyes and I realized I have been a jerk lately. "You didn't do anything. It's just one of my off moods. Your aunt is probably worried sick about you. You should go home," I reply to him. "O-oh yeah. You're probably right, well hopefully I'll see you tomorrow," he waves and leaves. There wasn't anything going on tomorrow, my uncle is coming back so I'll have to talk to him. I was still standing so I fell onto the bed and stared at the ceiling. I closed my eyes and passed out. I woke to mummering, it was quiet but outside my door. I pretend to be asleep so I can overhear the conversation. "I'm not doing it. I don't want to get punched in the face. I don't know how she sleeps," Tony's voice comments. "Fine but if she's mad at me I'm gonna blame it on you. She hasn't eaten since yesterday probably," Steve replies and walks into the room. "Hey, it's time to wake up," Steve says and I open one eye and look at him," I know it's late but you need to eat." "Okay just give me like, uh, two minutes. I'll be down," I mumble and roll over. I hear them leave and I get up. I fix my hair and check the time. It's almost 9, I run down the stairs and see most of the avengers at the table. Nat has her leg in Clint's seat and and Clint has his leg on her seat. They all looked tired. The only avenger not there is Thor and he has an excuse. I sat at the empty chair near the end of the table next to Tony and Bucky. I sat quietly and ate in silence. Finally, Tony finished his food and put his glass of water on the table loudly and cleared his throat. "Alright, we have made a decision," he calls out loudly and many people look confused," this one," he comments while pointing at me," is now, officially," he emphasized officially," an avenger, card and all." Suddenly a yellow envelope is in front of me with a bow on top. I open it and there is some paperwork, an ID card and a congratulations card. I read it and it was the cheesiest card I have ever read. I smiled and got out of my seat then hugged Tony. "Thank you, thank.you," I cried out. He awkwardly patted my arm. "No problem kid," he replied and then I proceeded to hug every avenger in the room. I started filling out the paperwork and finished quickly. I am officially an avenger.

#marvel #spiderman #spiderman: homecoming #peter parker #Peter #captain america #peter x reader #Peter x you #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #spiderman x reader #spiderman x you #spiderman fanfiction #peter parker fanfiction #marvel fanfiction

[itskirahhh]

My Best Friend

This is something one of my friends said to me yesterday:

“You and Chloe are so cute, i love your friendship”

~~~

This is something one of my best friends says pretty much on a daily basis: “You two are so weird”

~~~

This is a conversation me and my best friend had today:

You’re so cute

Hahah am i

Yeah haha

Cause you want to ring me later so we can have a laughing session after we’ve both had crap days

Well thats what im for ennit

Indeed We’re so weird I love it

in what way lol i haven’t said anything

I know, I was just thinking about when we’re together and come up with things like ‘PEGIN’ and shit like that

~~~

Today my best friend hasn’t had the best of days. Neither have i. Weirdly enough, we seem to sync up when it comes to things like that. Conversations like the one i showed you just aren’t rare. We frequently talk about how weird we are or how much we love each other and so on. But today i read these messages and started physically smiling because i thought about how important she really is to me.

Ever since we met i’ve counted her as my best friend, mainly because - as sad as it is - i didn’t have many friends until high school, but also because i loved the way she was. To small, geeky and eleven year old me, Chloe was one of the 'cool kids’. She seemed so carefree, hilarious and positive, yet so unique in her own ways. I’d love nothing more than to have a hysterical story about how we met, but that i don’t have, i don’t remember meeting her in the slightest. Throughout the five years we’ve had of high school we’ve become closer and closer to each other to the point that now we may aswell be superglued to each other.  She is always there for me. 2016 was the hardest year for me by a long long looooong mile, and 2015 was not much easier, however this one has stuck with me from the word go and hasn’t stopped. For that i am eternally grateful (Hi Hazel Grace).

She knows everything about me, too many secrets to even try and recollect. From the way that i spend half my time dancing round my kitchen at gone midnight making rice to the way that i now do my eyebrows after having over a year of shitty half-shaven-off eyebrows. I know her inside out too, from the way that she loves the way her teenage mutant ninja turtle pants make her ass look to the way that she loves being the little spoon even though she is the big spoon to little old me. She is the person who will help me when I am down, turn my frown upside-down, and make me feel better about myself. I can’t imagine any better of a friend. I love her more than anything and I would die for her.

Chloe and I are always together, i’m 99.9% sure that everyone following us on our various social medias are sick and tired of seeing each other plastered everywhere. I messaged her not long back just telling her that i missed her and that i was coming over. I then proceeded to buy myself a cone of chips at gone 5pm and walk twenty minutes or so through the woods to hers just to see her. I walked in, saw her painting a landscape on a piece of paper stuck to her wall and fed her some chips. I then lay on her bed and talked to her about anything and everything. With some people, i can be close to them and meet up with them but still feel like we have to be doing something. Like we have to be going to town or have something to do at home, but with chloe i literally just let myself in and sit in her bed and it’s enough. It’s hard to find a friend like that. You may have good friends that you can count on to cheer you up, but to be completely full of trust and completely dependable on a person and knowing they will be there for you at literally any point in the day, it’s hard to find someone like that.

Without her I would not be as happy as I am now. I remember back in september i was really really upset because of some problems me and my boyfriend at the time were having. I rang her that night, crying and crying and after a couple of hours, she had me laughing, we had adopted a giant spider that we named hillary, and she genuinely made me forget about the shit that had gone on and i finally went to sleep that night. The next day, me and him broke up. I rang her before i did anything else, and cried and cried and cried, which caused her to cry. She was crying because she felt bad, because she had told me everything was going to be okay. I then felt bad because she was crying and we both just cried and cried. I’m the same for her. Any time she’s upset i will be upset too. I feel as though we are that attached to each other that we hurt for each other too. We also sync up with happiness, the time when she got a boyfriend (Lewis, one of our best friends) may have been the best day ever for her, but that day i was happy too. I was happy that my best friend (and my other best friend) was finally with someone who made her feel exactly how i know she should be treated. She deserves to be loved, she deserves the world, i can tell you that now. I loved her curly and poofy ginger hair even though it is now straightened 24/7 and is getting darker by the second making it turn brown i still love it. I love her green eyes that i can only describe as being the colour of moss and she will get the reference as to why. I love her 'squish’ and honestly everything about her.

We have so many inside jokes and truly perplexing memories that i’ve lost track. Many of them, nobody would understand in their lifetime, but just because i know she’s reading this, i’m going to list a few, or maybe more than a few just for the benefit of us.

Quack. PEGIN 'Cry me out’ Naaa Savenyaaa Hot Stuff The video of me chasing the ducks in school Concentration face Tattoo water 'Sleeping with the light on’ Main Squeeze (Animal Cracker, Pineapple Chunk, Hot Jalapeno, Sweet Potato) Awkward hug in 18 Swell Gorgeous Sparkle and Shine Little nutella She’s not afraid The time i slept at yours and got woken up by belle sitting on my face? Haggis land 'Cooler than me’ Beautiful Moon Child Green Bean Freckle Souls Black heart Squish Are you making bread Olay Pork Chop Sleeping double chins 'Happily’ The incident we will never speak of at ice skating Pumpkin Carving Speaking to tom while we had belle in between our legs “The good squash” Wrap Dance Dubsmash and Videostar Tomato Soup Free Radio My back mole My snake face

That will do for now huh?

I want her to know how important she really is to me. I know I say “iluzzyou” all the time, but it just seems like I don’t make my point clear enough. I can’t stress it enough to her that she really is my best friend and she is my favourite person in the world. She keeps me sane and she makes me laugh like no one else, she is the most beautiful and yet the most ugly human being i’ve ever known in my life but that’s okay because i am too. She makes me laugh even when I all I want to do is cry, as i’ve tried to write out here but i’m not sure if i can quite grasp how good that actually is in just a piece of my writing.

She really is an absolutely incredible individual. I have never in my whole life been so lucky and proud to have someone like her to call my best friend. I don’t think I would be making it through high school without her if i’m being completely honest. There are not that many people in my life that I would die for, but when it comes to her I would die a million times over if that was what she wanted me to do. I’m not sure if i can thank her enough for everything she does for me.

Iluzzyou Chlobog.

@chloeewatt14

#rant

[youronlyclarementine]

a break.

started a social media cleanse. (except for youtube & netflix & this, of course.)

i hope i can be productive this time.

i’ll just do this until the last day of june.

it’s just much nicer to be alone sometimes, am i right? :)

so it’s june 27, 2019... and this is my start of my social media cleanse.

and i was looking for something in my cabinet... but i found something else. it was pictures of my dad. i think it was mostly pictures of him from his youth, and come to think of it now... did he ever enjoyed his youth? did he ever had one of these breakdowns i’m having because of how i look? did he ever stress himself out because he couldn’t figure himself? did he ever enjoyed it before they had me? did he at least enjoyed high school or college? did he ever regret anything from his decisions?

did they regret having me early after their marriage? as i’ve heard from them... they weren’t even planning to have me yet early on, but i guess life brings you really unexpected things ‘no? i don’t know what their life could have been if they were more established before they had me. i mean... i feel like they should’ve just enjoyed life just the both of them first. the married life isn’t an easy thing (i mean every aspect of life isn’t, that’s the reality), but the idea of being committed to someone for the rest of your life? it’s actually... so terrifying to just even think of it. how did they come to this decision? i don’t really know why i had this breakdown at 3 am... there’s a thing really with pictures, because it catches the moment... it catches what you were doing at that exact same time. all you could do is reminisce of those eventful days in your life. but i don’t know, i feel so bad for myself. i don’t like the me now... i hope i could learn to love myself. it’s just really hard for me to be this insecure. look at all those girls who are confident with themselves... i mean i don’t get it why some would be insecure when they look so much better than i am. so much better than most of the women out there. then i’m just me... this girl. i’m not confident with the way i look, i don’t have any talents to show, i’m just plain, ugly, me. i hate it when it comes to a point where i look at pictures of some girls and how they aren’t shy to show themselves to the world and when i compare myself to them... i just hate myself, really. i couldn’t understand why would people be actually friends with me. Lord, this time, it really hurts. it really really hurts. i couldn’t explain what i’m feeling, but it actually is eating me alive. i hate myself. i mean man, i’m so tired of others telling me that i’m fat, that i’m shapeless... especially when i hear it from my family or even some of my friends... i am so insecure of myself, it makes me want to not eat anything. i just want to starve myself. and if i eat, i want to vomit everything out. i know, i should be grateful for everything that i have, but, Lord... i’m so sorry for feeling this way. i just can’t love myself when i’m not even happy with who i am now. i hope everything turns out fine in the future. i just hope.

5:30 am and i’m watching videos about xiao long bao. IM SO HUNGRY.

5:30 pm i’m having a breakdown.

ok so i kind of cheated today because i downloaded twitter nd messenger again (messenger just because i wanted to greet andrew for his birthday) twitter... just because i want to know news nd scroll ugh it’s a sad day for songsong fans, wow, they’ve just decided to have a divorce? how... like how scary it is to decide to spend the rest of your lives together, then suddenly.. you don’t want it anymore. you suddenly changed your mind that you can’t actually do this. ang sakit lang nun.

it’s june 28, 2019... at 12-ish am, i was having a breakdown again. i have never been this down in my entire life... i have never felt this way before. this is actually much worse than any tragic movie i’ve watched... i just feel so bad about myself. i fucking hate everything about me. it sucks to be me. it makes me want to starve myself. i feel so sick about the way i look. i feel like shit.

almost 6 am, i’m watching food wars, AND I’M TOTALLY DISTURBED that... she cooked a turtle for a burger. A TURTLE. I HAVE NO WORDS (thankfully it’s just anime... but if i see something like that irl, NO THANKS GONNA VOMIT EVERYTHING OUT)

so it’s july 2, 2019. i’m so sorry that you failed, but... at least you had a little break.

but let me tell you what happened yesterday, on the 1st day of July, my birth month. at exactly, 12 am... i broke down. i literally had a panic attack. it’s really scary... that it happened to me so quick. i was suddenly so terrified of everything. what if being a pilot wasn’t meant for me after all... what if i studied in a university? all these what ifs make me want to experience all that. damn, what has my life turned into? so glad that i had a chance to talk with tata... at least i know for sure, someone’s having the same dilemma as me. ang sakit lang, Lord na baka hindi pala talaga ‘to para sakin... bakit nawawala lahat uli passion ko? bakit nawawala yung drive at motivation? sobrang lungkot lang, Lord. pero sana po gabayan Niyo po ako sa lahat ng mga gagawin kong desisyon ngayong taon. wala naman po sigurong mali kung may iba po akong susubukin na daan po diba? Hay... ang gusto ko lang naman po ay mapasaya ang mga magulang ko po, Lord. Kakayanin mo ‘to, Lien. Tignan mo kung saan ka na dinala ng mga paniniwala mo... Magiging okay din ang lahat.