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#incorrect b99 quotes

The English language cannot fully capture the depth and complexity of my thoughts, so I’m incorporating emojis into my speech to better express myself. Winky face.

Lars Ulrich, probably

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Based off a real conversation with my friends:

Amy: So what are you guys doing?

Jake: *drunk* We’re watching Teen Titans

Rosa: *also drunk* We’re watching Tom & Jerry you dumbass

Jake & Rosa: *burst out in laughter*

Amy: I’m going to need backup…

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Jake and Holt on a case


Jake: *sees suspicious plant*

Jake: “oh wow this looks like stinging nettle but i’m not 100% sure… is this stinging nettle?”

Jake: *shoves entire hand onto said suspicious plant and grabs a large fistful of leaves*

Jake: *visibly disappointed* “awwwwh it’s not stinging nettle. I was wrong. Looks like i suck at identifying plants.”

Holt, having watched the entire scene unfold with intense horror: “hOW have your kept yourself aLIVE for thiS loNG?!?!”

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Amy: I currently have seven empty sketchbooks and no clue what to put in them. Any suggestions?
Charles: Put spaghetti in it.
Amy: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone except for you.
Jake: Put spaghetti in it.
Amy: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone except for you two.
Gina: Put spaghetti in it.
Amy: I am no longer taking suggestions.
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