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#incorrect b99

Captain Holt: Diaz, we’ve been instructed to attend a fashion show on Saturday to provide security. I want you on this project.

Rosa: Sorry sir, I’m going to have to decline.

Holt: But why? Surely looking at scantily clad female models would appease you?

Rosa: That is exactly the reason why sir, I would be unable to be professional.

Holt: Don’t tell me… You are, what the kids call, a panicked gay?

Rosa:… Affirmative.

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Jake and Holt on a case

Jake: *sees suspicious plant*

Jake: “oh wow this looks like stinging nettle but i’m not 100% sure… is this stinging nettle?”

Jake: *shoves entire hand onto said suspicious plant and grabs a large fistful of leaves*

Jake: *visibly disappointed* “awwwwh it’s not stinging nettle. I was wrong. Looks like i suck at identifying plants.”

Holt, having watched the entire scene unfold with intense horror: “hOW have your kept yourself aLIVE for thiS loNG?!?!”

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B99 characters as weird things I’ve heard

Jake: got ‘em. I English my speak

Amy: *trying to be cool* we good, we Gucci, we gang

Rosa: chemicals make explosions if you try hard enough

Terry: *gestures to Boyle eating a cut up apple* I see you cut up your fruit corpses before you eat them

Boyle: *distressed* theres no bread under this egg. The breads missing! Where did it go?

Holt: *eating an orange* this orange is almost as bitter as me

Hitchcock: can you milk an egg with a big snickers bar?

Scully: just de-fry a Mars bar

Gina: it’s not illegal if no one catches you

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