#like good for them to see someone who’s at an ‘’average’’ weight be treated

[vigilantejustice]

my one (1) friend invited me to her sister’s place for games night a couple weeks back so (in a move that was very true to myself and very transparent to her) i said sure knowing it would be super easy to back out but then she responded by asking me to pick her up (scuppering my exit strategy) and she just let me know that she cornered me into driving specifically so i couldn’t bail because she knew i’d have fun if i went 🥺

#we’ve been friends since school despite me being ultra prone to dropping off the face of the planet for sometimes years at a time #she’s looped into all the food stuff + she’s not afraid to ask questions #not in a blunt way more in that i’ve let her know that she’s cool to ask whatever she wants to know because a) i’m not easily triggered #or whatever and b) i’m super aware that it’s interesting in a morbid curiosity way #i’m always fine to talk about it if anyone has respectful questions because #because i understand the curiosity but also because it can be helpful in terms of identifying it in other people and widening the typical #view of what an eating disorder is and/or looks like y’know? #same reason i was always cool with med students sitting in on any of my appointments or whatever #like good for them to see someone who’s at an ‘’average’’ weight be treated #and also someone whose body looks kind of outside the norm having been as big as i was #anyways. this was so super sweet of her to do and it was so nice to be outside of my own head for a bit #and also nice to just hang out and have a fun time #personal

[inkskinned]

no, but really, we need to talk about the casual objectification that has become the fallback discourse of the internet: if you're pretty and dressed nicely, you're a slut. and if you're even vaguely outside of their body standard, you're fucking disgusting.

too-frequently, people position sex workers as being "the problem". they sneer you're addicted to pornography, you don't know what a real woman looks like. but real women are in pornography. the real bodies on display are not the issue here: the issue is that other people feel extremely confident when commenting on someone's physique.

2000's super-thin is slowly worming its way back into the public ideal. recently i saw someone get told to "go for a run", despite the fact she was on the thinner side of average. not that it would ever be appropriate to say that: but it's kind of like sticker shock when you see it. people think that is fat? holy shit. do they just have no idea about things?

but what are you going to do about it? that's the problem, right. because chances are - you're a normal person. we can say normalize carrying fat on your body, but we are not the billion-dollar diet industry. we are not the billion-dollar fashion industry. we are just, like. people. who are trying to make content on the internet, without being treated shittily.

as someone who has been on both sides of things: you are treated better when you are thin and pretty. this is statistically correct. i am not saying that you cannot be bullied for being thin; i'm saying there are objective institutional biases against certain bodytypes. there are videos of men and women who lost weight all saying: i now know for a fact exactly how much worse you're treated. in the comments, some asshole inevitably says something akin to you deserved to be dehumanized when you were fat.

which means that ... the easiest thing to do is be pretty and thin. it is the path of least resistance, because of course it is, because any time you post a picture of yourself without a thigh gap, someone immediately comments something like you need to try a diet.

the other half is also dehumanizing though, huh, just in a different way. when i put on makeup and nice clothes, i am told i slept my way to the top as a professional. do you know how many women in STEM have told me they purposefully dress to "unimpress" because they already struggle to be taken seriously and if they're ever considered pretty - it for some reason takes away from their authority.

so they make it seem like it's your fault. you, existing in a body - it's your fault! if you didn't want shitty comments, don't have a body. they position us against each other like chess pieces; vying for male attention we don't even need.

and i can be an authority on this unless you think i'm fat and unattractive. when i am pretty and thin, i'm an activist. when i am just a normal person who makes a good point: i am immediately dismissed. nobody fucking believes you if you're not seen as attractive. you literally lose value. you cease to exist.

but the whole time, it feels like - is anyone actually grounded the fuck in reality? the line of "pretty and thin" keeps shifting. nobody seems to understand what "a normal weight" even looks like, because it's not something that exists - you cannot tell a person's health by looking at their body. even if you think you could tell that, even if you're sure a person is dangerously overweight - people are not your dolls. they do not need to be dressed up or displayed properly to soothe your aesthetics. you aren't concerned for them, you're stealing their agency. you don't get to say if they're "allowed" to take pictures and post them on the internet - you don't get to tell them how to exist.

people hide behind "the obesity epidemic" without any actual qualifications. they crow things about "normalizing unhealthiness".

but it's bullshit. i have visible abs. there is a pair of parallel lines on my body, even when i'm relaxed; where my obliques meet my abdominal wall. i am proud of this because it means i'm strong, because i overcame an eating disorder only to be ripped as fuck. it is genetic and physical luck that i even get any definition, i'm pleased as punch.

but it does mean that my abdominal wall sticks out a little bit. the other day i posted a video of myself dancing, and, for a moment, my shirt slipped. you could see a little bit of my stomach. i was cartwheeling to the floor. moments before this, i'd had my foot over my head.

a guy slid into my DMs. a row of vomiting emojis prefaced: you should really lose some weight before you think about dancing.

i stared at it for a long time. there was a time when i would have been triggered by this, where it would have encouraged me to starve myself. i would have ignored the fact i'm flexible, agile, good at jumping: i would have lost the weight for a stranger's passing comment. i would have found myself and my body fucking disgusting.

and for what? to please what? because why? so that he can exist in this world without an unchallenged eyeball? what would my self-hatred even accomplish? usually i write paragraphs. obviously. on this particular occasion, in this body i've been at war with for ages: i just felt exhausted.

it shouldn't be even worth saying. it shouldn't be hard to explain. all of this emotional turmoil when he cannot even comprehend the most basic truth: i am not an object on display for him.

#spilled ink #writeblr #warm up #like if im getting fatshamed. babe......... wake up #is there fat on my body? yes :) #btw this behavior wouldn't be okay even if I WAS overweight!!! that is my point!!! #it is both that people have no idea what weight is supposed to look like #and even if they DID... they do not seem to understand that PEOPLE ARE NOT DOLLS #YOU DO NOT GET TO TELL THEM HOW TO EXIST #if you respond anything akin to ''but raquel there IS an obesity epidemic'' #you're blocked and reported. #go fucking DONATE TO A FOOD BANK THEN. volunteer in a food desert. start a free fitness program #GO GET A DEGREE AS A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL AND PRACTICE IN NUTRITION IN UNDERPRIVILEDGED LOCATIONS #FIGURE OUT HOW TO LOWER FOOD COSTS. FIGURE OUT HOW TO NORMALIZE AND STANDARDIZE #ACCESS TO FARM-FRESH FOOD. PROVIDE ACTUAL FREE ACCESS TO OUTSIDE ACTIVITIES #FIGURE OUT HOW TO TEACH PEOPLE HEALTHY CHOICE MAKING WHILE ALSO LOWERING THE COST OF MEALS. #THE AVERAGE GROCERY BILL OF THE AMERICAN CITIZEN HAS QUADRUPILED IN THE LAST YEAR. #SHUT. THE FUCK. UP!!!!!!!!! #you don't want to help these people!!!!! #you want to bully them but still feel like a good person! #you want to be justified in your hatred of an entire CLASS of people!!! #you don't give a fuck about how it makes them feel!!!! #you care ONLY about whether or not YOU get to VIRTUE SIGNAL that YOURE so thin and pretty!!!! #it is BECAUSE of people like you #and the fact you tolerate fatphobia - BECAUSE of that normalization. that men like the one who called me fat #feel like they can get away with it. #bc there's a line for you where you WOULD be okay with it. where if i WASNT thin you'd be okay with it. #which means the line can always be pushed in a certain direction. and it's always going to appeal to male aesthetics. #''well you didn't deserve it'' maybe fucking NOBODY does babe. maybe we should just all agree not to comment on ppls bodies!!

[prettieinpink]

hii!! <3

I wanted to ask u if u know how to deal with a bad grade? I always get good grades and am a straight A student, but recently I got a bad grade and it's effecting my self esteem and I keep worrying and stressing about it :((

i'm not sure if u already posted something about this, if so, I'm sorry and u can just ignore this >.<

tysm and no pressure 💞

(btw I love ur blog smm!! it's so helpful! 💗🫶)

DEALING WITH A BAD GRADE

1: SELF CARE 

Dealing with a grade that was unexpected for you, or above your standards can be a huge hit to our academic confidence. So, make sure not to treat yourself harshly because of one grade. 

DON’T BE HARD ON YOURSELF. I know it may not seem like it now, but receiving one below-average grade is not the end of the world or your academic career, nor does it represent your abilities as a student.

That being said, do not ‘punish’ yourself for a bad grade. I see that it's from a point of wanting to improve, but it’s more harmful to believe that overworking yourself will improve your grade. 

VENT OR RANT. Whether you’re talking to a classmate, friend, or family or doing some way to document your feelings, just let it all out. It can be frustrating or stressful for us if we receive a bad grade, especially if we spend so long studying for it or it has a huge weighting. 

DETACH FROM THE GRADE, just temporarily. I’m not saying forget about it, but just put it on the back of the burner and focus on the present moment. If needed, do some things you enjoy to relax and relieve your stress.      

2: IMPROVING 

Everything that you want to do after having a bad grade, to prevent that in the future and to reconcile your mistakes. Remember that improvement is only there if you commit. 

LOOK FOR ERRORS. Were your study methods effective? Did you have instrumental understanding or rational understanding of the topic? Did you use your class time effectively? 

If you do receive your assessment/assignment back, look for the mistakes you made on it. Write it down and practice those later, even if you aren’t getting assessed on it shortly. It is better to understand now than to be confused later. 

ASK YOUR TEACHER. Ask them for feedback on the assessment, where you went wrong and how you can improve in the future. Listen to them, and apply what they say. 

Or, if you’re someone who doesn’t want to talk to their teacher, ask your peers who have a good understanding of that topic or got a high grade. 

REFLECT. Do you believe that this was the best grade you could’ve got, or were you able to work hard but just didn’t? Were there any externalities that affected your grade? How will you improve for next time?

3: FOR THE FUTURE

To make up for the bad grade, so it doesn’t affect your final one and to implement ways to make studying more effective.

BUILD GOOD STUDY HABITS. Flashcards before you sleep and when you wake, making your environment rid of all distractions and knowing what to do if you do not understand something etc. 

CREATE A STUDY SCHELDULE/ROUTINE. This is so you know what to study, when to study, for how long and how to study for that topic. You do not want to go into study sessions unprepared, as you’re just gonna waste time.

SEEK EXTRA CREDIT. Participating in class and doing extra assignments are ways to recover your final grade from your last one. Ask your teacher about this.

4: MOVE ON. That grade is in the past, and you are in the present. Use that present time wisely, so you can celebrate all of that hard work once you get your success. Do not waste your time dwelling on it and forgive yourself. 

Thank you for your support anonnie, it means so much to me.

#becoming that girl #becoming her #pretty and smart #being smart makes u prettier #private school girl #hot and educated #hot girl semester #study inspiration #study blog #study tips #studyblr #study motivation #study aesthetic #studyspo #studying #student #student life #smart and pretty #clean girl #that girl

[transmascissues]

being told (by another trans person!!) that i should be using the men’s bathroom and not the women’s bathroom at this point in my transition because “most cis people would just look at you and think you’re a guy” is...so fucking surreal.

this is someone i literally met that day — what makes them think they know how people see and treat me in day to day life? do they really think i, a very out trans man who avoids being categorized as a woman as much as humanly possible, would be going into the women’s bathroom if that were true?

my stomach DROPS every time i have to use the bathroom in public because i hate having to go in there so much — if it were actually true that cis people would look at me and just see a man, i’d never do it again!

but guess what? i have to, because that’s not how cis people see me at all! so many trans people have it in their heads that the second a trans man goes on t, he passes perfectly and will never face transphobia or misogyny ever again, and it’s a total fucking lie but they believe it so strongly that they’re actually willing to shame us for keeping ourselves safe based on these preconceived notions that have no basis in reality.

i think a big part of the context that’s missing is that cis women not seeing us as other women anymore doesn’t mean cis men see us as men!

it’s very easy for me to see that the cis women i interact with don’t see me as “one of them” anymore — they may try to fit me into that box because they can tell i’m not a cis guy so they know i “should” be able to fit into it, but t has had enough of a noticeable effect that the cognitive dissonance is too much for them and they clearly can’t make themselves see me as a woman anymore.

but cis men don’t see me as “one of them” either! they clearly recognize the masculinity of my appearance, but they don’t ever really see it as maleness; they carry themselves differently around me than they do around cis women, but also differently than they do around each other. if me and my DDD chest were to walk into a men’s bathroom, my deep voice and dusting of facial hair isn’t going to help me — they’ll know i “don’t belong” there.

(not to mention, i’m still wearing a mask in public places, as we all should be because we’re in a fucking pandemic, so that dusting of facial hair and most of the other changes to my face are pulling no weight as far as how people see me anyway)

there are no gendered spaces that i can comfortably enter right now, and depending on how the rest of my transition goes, there might never be. so i have to pick the place that’s the least likely to get me hurt if someone’s gets mad at my presence, and that means going into the women’s room, because if we’re being honest, my 5’3 disabled self stands a much better chance against the average cis woman than i do against the average cis man, and that’s the kind of calculation i have to make every time i walk into a gendered space like a bathroom.

“but tumblr user transmascissues,” you may be saying, “what about the actual women in those bathrooms? they’ll feel unsafe if they see someone who doesn’t look like a woman in the bathroom with them!”

and to you i say, you know that’s literally just poorly recycled te/rf rhetoric, right? like you’re just parroting the moral panic about letting trans women (who cis people think “look like men”) into bathrooms because “think of the poor cis women!” it’s not suddenly a good argument to make just because you switched the target from trans women to trans men who are literally just there for our safety and probably hate it too.

do i hate the idea that my presence might make someone feel uncomfortable or unsafe? yes, absolutely! that’s one of my biggest fears about medically transitioning, because i’ve been made to feel unsafe by cis men and i would hate to make someone else feel that way! of course i hate it!

but at the end of the day, i also know that my presence there isn’t actually a danger to them because i know i’m not going to do anything bad to them. and i also know that there is a very real danger to me if i go in the men’s bathroom. so why would i subject myself to actual danger just to avoid making a hypothetical cis woman uncomfortable?

trans men’s lives are more important than cis women’s feelings. i do not have to put myself in real, actual, physical danger just because some cis women think hearing a lower voice in the same room as them is a threat. do i understand why they might think that? yeah! but that doesn’t mean i have to put my safety on the line because of it.

at the end of the day, i know for a fact that i do not pass well enough right now to be better off in a men’s bathroom than i am in the women’s. and i wish people — ESPECIALLY other trans people — weren’t so quick to encourage me and other trans men to make less safe decisions just because they personally perceive us as passing well enough.

there is no objective measure of how well someone passes; you can’t look at someone and say “yeah, you pass well enough to be safe in x place” because you can’t look at a person you’ve never met and just magically know how they’re treated in their daily life.

so if a trans man tells you they don’t pass well enough to safely go into the men’s spaces that you think they should be in? just believe them and drop it.

we know our lives better than you do. don’t make us feel even worse about something that we already probably feel like shit about.

#transandrophobia #transandromisia #transmisandry #virilmisia #virilphobia #trans men #transmascs

[thegainingdesk]

Lies

You've been lying to yourself for years.

Just a little winter weight. And when will you be losing that? It's June now, and the chub still pushes stubbornly over your belt. What will happen next winter, and your next batch of winter weight? And the next winter, and the next one?

You've done so well, following your diet. You probably deserve that treat. A couple of pints won't hurt. Diets are all fads anyway, you've got a balanced diet, that's what really matters.

You don't have a gut, per se, it's just the angle when you look down at your own body, like how no-one's dick ever looks quite so large from above. But then why do you look the same in the mirror? What about that picture, the one from your holiday, with a soft pillow of fat starting to creep out over your shorts?

Clothes are just made so cheaply these days, no wonder the crotch of your trousers have been wearing out quite so often. Fast fashion and all that. But didn't you splash out on this pair, get some proper ones in good fabric? And that pair there, haven't you only had them a month or two?

It's not noticeable, you tell yourself. But you see the looks, hear the comments. "Hasn't he put on weight?" "And he used to be so handsome." "He needs to put down the bloody fork is what he needs."

Just a bad photo, that one. It's all to do with focal lengths, and the right type of lens, you've never really understood it, but you read an article about it a while ago. She's always been rubbish at taking photos anyway, hasn't she? But then, no one else seems quite so bloated, quite so corpulent, quite so wide. And looking through more photos, you can't seem to find any that show you at your best.

The beard makes you handsome, more distinguished, more mature, it's quite trendy now anyway. It's not to hide the double chin, pooling down beneath your jawline. Isn't to mask the cheeks that can't even be called chubby anymore, no these are jowls now, sagging on each side of the face. Not to create some illusion of a jawline where your face has gotten puffier and puffier, rounder and rounder, softer and softer.

Everyone gains a little weight as they get older, don't they? But what about him? 10 years your senior and still as trim as ever. No one else your age that you know has a paunch quite so large, sides quite so soft.

Everyone gets winded on these stairs, don't they? Flight after flight, stupid to put the office there really. No one else takes 5 minutes to get to the top though. No one else is panting when they finally reach the top, hands on their knees and sweat dripping off their forehead.

300 pounds isn't even that big these days. Basically just above average at this point. The obesity epidemic, lockdown weight. You know plenty of bigger people, like… ah. Well maybe - no, he lost a lot of weight didn't he. What about- no, he mentioned his weight the other day, a good 30 pounds lighter than you. But you're sure there must be someone, who maybe you just haven't seen in a while.

You could stop whenever you want, could lose it all easily enough. Go on then. Sign up for a gym membership. Delete Uber Eats off your phone. Have a salad for dinner. But you don't. You won't. The draw of it is too much. Another 20 pounds, another 50. The feeling of a full stomach, a body imprisoned in fat, the constant expansion. It's becoming undeniable now, and yet still, you lie to yourself.

You're not really interested in that website, you're not one of those people, the other users just appreciate a man of your figure, which, you have to admit, is getting rarer amongst the regular dating apps. So what if some of the men want to see you eat when you meet up with them, you'd be eating anyway. So what if they play with the soft, supple fat all over your body while they fuck you, it's nice to be appreciated. So what if you like the feel of their hands exploring your body, the creamy lard rippling like velvet under their fingers. So what if you're finding it more difficult to cum without your face buried in a cake, a gut already full to bursting with rich food.

#gaining fiction #weight gain #gainer fiction #gainer story #weight gain story #male weight gain #weight gain fiction #wg story #lies

[just-ice-water-plz2]

💜💜my **personal** reasons to💜💜 🖤 🖤get skinnier🖤🖤 💜

⚠️TW TOXIC⚠️

*** friendly reminder: Summer/June is only 50 days away.***

**notice I said personal reasons meaning only pertaining to me myself and I <3**

🖤to see how jealous my friends get when they see how skinny I am. Remember when she said she was jealous of my legs?! Don’t you want that again?!

💜feeling so pretty and put together no matter what clothes I’m wearing.

🖤to wear my clothes and not have the clothes wear me. I am the main statement piece to every outfit.

💜to make people so envious when they see me enjoying treats and so people think I’m one of those “natural skinny” girls.

🖤to make my bf worry about me.

💜to be noticeably skinnier the next time he holds me.

🖤to look so fragile that people are scared I might break or blow away in the wind.

💜how good it feels knowing I’m underweight. I need to be more underweight. Being a healthy weight is disgusting.

🖤noticing how much women (especially older women) stare at me in envy when I’m just shopping and going about my day in a cute little outfit.

💜to pick the smallest size possible when ordering or trying on clothes

🖤everything looks better skinny

💜to see how people react when they’re in my presence. They’re astounded.

🖤hearing that family members are talking behind my back calling me an0r3xic. They’re just jealous.

💜when a family member says “enjoy your body while you have it. I was skinny at your age too” and now they’re overweight, single with 5 children. I will NEVER look like her. Ever.

🖤being the skinniest person in my friend group

💜the haters want me to gain. Why am I letting them win and feel that satisfaction of seeing me gain. Disgusting. I need to prove them super wrong and be so smoking hot and skinny this summer 💋💋.

🖤 hearing my sister tell me how jealous she is that im so tall and we“naturally skinny” **is anybody really naturally skinny?**

💜seeing how everyone turns their head to look at me at work. Motivates me to look cute at work too.

🖤I just want to be the definition of a dainty, fragile, gorgeous women.

💜when my friend says she wants to be skinny like me.

🖤people telling me I should be a model bcuz I’m so tall and skinny. I need to stop gaining and get back into my skinny grinding era. I’m working on it I swear 😭

💜being skinny is a lifestyle.

🖤**unfriendly reminder** she’s still skinnier than you. Why are you eating for an entire family of 4??! Stop gaining it’s not f***ing cute 😐

💜life is just worth living when you’re skinny. I want to go out and show off my hard work not hide in my house covering my fat rolls. Never again.

🖤knowing how much more attractive being skinny makes you. I was average before but now I’m skinny and gorgeous.

💜knowing I make someone feel bad about their body just by existing in the same room as them. I can tell by people’s reactions when they’re insecure bcuz I’m all dressed up and skinny.

🖤to not be insecure. I was so insecure when I was fat but now I’m skinny so what is there to be insecure about? Except now you’ve gained so apparently there’s a lot to feel bad about.

💜to have a “cheat day” that’s still in a cal deficit bcuz my stomach has shrunk so much I can barley eat without feeling stuffed.

🖤I just love the feeling of knowing I am the one making others jealous instead of me being the jealous one. most of the time. Why not all the time?

💜to wear a bikini this summer and only seeing everyone else’s fat rolls. Not a single one in sight on me. Not if you keep eating like this.

🖤people treat skinnier people better. I know from experience. I love it, it makes me feel so special.

💜if these are my “best years” in life I will have the best body to match these “best years”. And I will have an amazing body still as I age. I will never “let myself go.” Disgusting.

🖤to make my one friend who also has an ed jealous. She always makes me jealous telling me how she only weighs 97lbs. I want to make her jealous. I’m taller than her by a few inches so I definitely can get skinnier than her without going so low. So why haven’t you done it yet?

💜bcuz my so called “best friends” were talking bad about me behind my back so the best revenge is to be the skinniest and hottest one in the group. Talk shit about that you f**king b***h. I always over dress everywhere and get the most compliments as revenge. I have other more real friends who would never.

🖤to make my “friends” even more jealous. I know that’s why they’re talking about me bcuz I’m glowing up so hard right now and they simply cannot handle it. I need to glow up more. I want to see them seeth with jealousy just with my existence.

💜to feel my bones more. I miss feeling my bones like I used to.

🖤to feel how you felt at your LW. Wasn’t that amazing and so thrilling to see the scale say “104lbs.” Why did you stop there? You must get started on losing the f***ing 13+lbs you gained. Gross.

💜 i <3 b e i n g s k i n n y💜

#tw edtwt #wieiad #3d diet

[scoops-aboy86]

20 Questions for Writers

I was tagged by @steviewashere, wahoo!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

19.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

68,563. 

Which, given that I made the account in January, means I’ve written an average of about 13,713 words a month. 😵‍💫🤓

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Stranger Things exclusively, except for like. That one itty bitty crossover with Good Omens, but that was more of a thought post on here than an actual fic. All Steddie, with occasional dashes of Buckingham or Ronance.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Love Language and Twice Shy are tied for 1st, which is cute. The latter isn’t really wg related and, amusingly, has fewer comments and bookmarks than the former. 

Window, which I swear I will write a part 2 for someday. Probably. I want to, cross my heart, I’m just… easily distracted sometimes. 

Office Baking, which is part of a collab with the lovely @hotluncheddie

All About the Bounce in My Step, another one with a part 2 on my WIPs list. The title came from an AJR song that has… nothing to do with the fic really, it was just one of the first songs I heard on Pandora after I finished editing it and needed a title in order to post.

Kitchen Pig. Perhaps the most, uh… “contains mean comments about someone’s weight” of my fics, purely because Tommy and Carol are involved. I was kind of nervous about posting it. Glad I did though.

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try! Sometimes it requires a lot of a particular kind of energy that I don’t already have, but I like to acknowledge that someone took the time to leave me some words, even if my response is just heart emojis or something. 

If you've commented and I haven't responded yet, it's somewhere on my to do list.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Uh… The first chapter of Not Dating, for sure, because it was originally intended as a one-shot. Or maybe Twice Shy because one little reassurance (however genuine and however accepted) is definitely not enough to untangle the knot of Steve’s trust issues. Hashtag thanks Nancy. 

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Ooh, tough one, because I always go for the happy ending sooner or later. (Even with angst, I crave that sweet sweet resolution.) Maybe Seven Christmases though, because the whole thing is so family focused and caretaking and indulgent all the way through. 

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Surprisingly, no. I guess I’m doing a good enough job with easily blockable tags and staying in my lane—by which I mostly mean, if I reblog something that sparks kinky thoughts, I put them in a separate post so the people who see it are mostly those who seek it out. 

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Heh, mostly smut that involves eating too much and getting off to that.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Literally just that one Good Omens post, where rockstar Eddie has brought chubby Steve to The Ritz or something, and Crowley or Aziraphale overhears Eddie calling him "angel" and miracles an extra dish onto their table, as a treat.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. But I don’t lock my ao3 posts, so if they’re being scraped then I guess I am doing my part in making AI weird. 

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of. That would be kind of cool.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not a ton, but @hotluncheddie and I have written some stuff back and forth, notably Office Baking. 

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Steddie! With additional spaces carved out in my heart for Buckingham, platonic Stobin, and platonic Hellcheer. 

Ronance is alright, I have nothing against it, but in my heart I feel that Nancy has been consistently in one relationship or another since she slept with Steve in the first season. She’s been through a ton since then, grown up a lot, and become an incredibly different person… I just think she needs some time with herself to figure out who that is and what she wants. 

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you will?

Never admit defeat, never surrender. 

I never mean to leave things unfinished, I’m just, yeah. Easily distracted. I also have a full time job, a partner, and seven furry children… It’s a lot to juggle sometimes.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Banging out the tunes story. And then—I read someone describe it this way once, can’t remember when or where—going back over it like a painting and filling in more details, building up the layers until it’s got more texture, like a Van Gogh. Like, when I wrote Trick & Treat, I got most of the way through writing it before going back and working in their costumes. And that became a huge part of the fic! Also, originally I forgot part of the prompt and wrote Steve only getting as far as a downstairs bathroom instead of his bedroom. 

Yes, I know, technically I am just describing editing. But I like thinking of it as adding texture. 

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Ugh, settings. I’m usually pretty good with dialogue and what the characters are doing, but I really have to think about where they are. 

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I only know English and the bare minimum of Spanish to get enough credits to graduate high school, so… Some bits of other languages sometimes, like slang that I’ve verified through online research, and I’ll run things back and forth in Google Translate a few times to try and keep it from coming out too garbled, but eh. If it’s extensive I’d probably switch to italics or special brackets to indicate another language, unless the main pov character doesn’t speak it and isn’t intended to know what it means without an in-story translation. 

That’s just what I do, I don’t give a fig what other writers choose to do as long as it’s consistent within each story.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

As a wg kink writer, Stranger Things. In general, I started with the works of one Douglas Adams back in college. 

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Oh god, I’m so indecisive… Seven Christmases makes me feel all warm inside, I’m really proud of that one. 

I’ve seen this making the rounds lately and everyone I can think of has probably been tagged already, but… @hotluncheddie @tangerinesteve @pearynice @lingeringmirth, no pressure!

#scoops words #scoops scoop #wg steddie

[trannydean-moved]

Feigning Normalcy - Fictober Prompt #02

Prompt - #02, "Don't worry, I got you."

Fandom - Supernatural

Rating - T

Warnings - General angst, death and dying mentions, grief, torture mention, cursing

Word count - 1.4k

Summary - Jaime hasn't been taking care of himself since Dean left. Cas knows he needs sleep, and isn't going to let Jaime keep going without it.

A/N - This is a smaller piece of a future scene I plan on writing for my mainverse series for Jaime--I hope everyone likes it <3

It had been six days since Dean had left, and Jaime was showing no signs of returning to a normal schedule. He was still barely eating, and sleeping even less. Castiel knew this was an issue—knew even better now that he had experienced what being human was like. If his experiences had taught him anything, it was that humans needed food and sleep. Lots of it, really.

If you didn’t get that, it hurt, for one thing. As if your insides were revolting against you for not feeding them, and deciding to try consuming itself to satisfy the hunger. Or, your mind got fuzzy and you couldn’t concentrate, because keeping itself awake was all your brain could handle—it couldn’t start thinking beyond that.

Castiel had a hard time with this when he had first landed back from Heaven as a human. But after Dean told him to leave, and Jaime came with him, Jaime was very keen on keeping the both of them not hungry, not exhausted. Castiel recalled that Jaime had lived out of his truck, by himself, for a long time, and was already used to the conditions they met up with.

He was able to fix their situation swiftly enough to the point where they weren’t suffering too badly. Castiel had been lost, but Jaime had a constant grip on him, so at least he wasn’t alone. His companionship had been good.

But now Jaime was the one who was lost. Now Jaime was the one who needed someone to grip him and hold on tight, to let him know that despite how awful things were, he wasn’t alone. He needed that terribly right now.

Castiel couldn’t stand the thought of leaving the Bunker when Jaime was in this condition, so he had lingered, feeling awkward. He didn’t know how life usually was in the Bunker, but he was sure what occurred now wasn’t it.

He had watched children play, having fun with just existing. Though most of the young ones here were actually adolescents, poor souls stuck in between carefree child and experienced adult, it was almost certain to him that these sullen faces and quiet voices weren’t normal.

Sam was the one carrying almost all the weight of keeping things as usual as possible here. He tried acting normal, tried treating each day like an average one. But Castiel could see in all of their faces—it wasn’t the same, no matter how much they pretended it was. It wasn’t the same without Dean.

That’s what was hurting Jaime the most. Of course, that didn’t downsize any of the other things he’d experienced within the past two weeks. He had lost Kevin, he had watched Sam—Gadreel possessing Sam’s body, but still, Sam—being tortured, he had died, for goodness’ sake. Though Castiel and the Winchesters were unfortunately familiar with dying, Jaime wasn’t. This was his first time, and Castiel hoped dearly it was his last.

But losing Dean, again, so soon after getting back to him, was the final blow that had really thrown Jaime into the state he was in now. He would’ve been able to handle everything better if Dean was here. But he wasn’t, and Castiel was helpless to make that hurt go away.

He couldn’t remove the pain, he couldn’t fix this. That was something Castiel hated. All he wanted to do was fix this, but he couldn’t. No matter how many times he touched Jaime’s forehead, or how many soft kisses he press to his face or his heart, none of it could take away the anguish Jaime was harboring.

Castiel knew he had to do something, though. Jaime was going to kill himself if he kept up with not eating or sleeping. That was something he could remedy, surely.

So he entered Jaime’s room, the place he had been spending the most time in. He was usually at his desk or on his bed, laptop in front of him, looking for any clue to where Dean could have gone. Castiel was sure Jaime’s eyes were straining from how much they have been staring at the screen.

Right now, Jaime was sitting on his bed, legs crossed over each other. He didn’t look up as Castiel entered, though Venus did—she raised her head to stare at him for a moment, then rested back against Jaime’s leg, looking up at her owner with big eyes. Castiel could feel the concern that the little dog held for Jaime, and he wondered if Jaime knew how much his dog cared about him.

With soft steps, Castiel came to sit on the bed beside Jaime, on the opposite side Venus was on. Jaime’s eyes flickered over to him for a moment, before returning to the screen.

“Jaime,” Castiel said softly. “How long has it been since you slept?”

He was given a halfhearted shrug in return. Castiel waited a moment, to see if he would be given anything else to go on, but he got nothing.

“If you can’t remember how long it’s been, then that means it’s been too long,” he commented, quoting what Jaime had told him, several weeks back. Probably remembering this, Jaime let out a small huff, a little bit of amusement showing through.

“It’s fine, Cas, I’m fine,” Jaime told him, his voice a bit rough—it was from lack of use, and that was saddening, since Jaime wasn’t one for keeping quiet.

Castiel had by now learned that “I’m fine” was code for “I’m not fine, I just don’t want to talk about it”. Both Winchesters and Jaime did this so often that it was something Castiel was actually able to pick up on somewhat quickly. That was all right, however—they didn’t need to talk about it. Jaime just needed to sleep.

“You need sleep,” Castiel said bluntly. “Humans can’t survive on such little sleep. Your body is going to shut down sooner or later. Probably sooner, at the rate you’re going.”

“Dammit, Cas, I said I’m fine.”

“That isn’t true.”

“Yeah, well, whatever. Doesn’t matter. I’ve got better things to do than sleep.”

Castiel seriously doubted this, and he was sure that could be seen on the frown he gave Jaime. Jaime caught a glance of it and sighed heavily, rubbing his face with one hand.

“I’ll sleep later, okay? I’m doing shit right now.”

This was something common with this particular group of humans, too—they would say they’d do something later, but then didn’t end up doing so. It usually was something that could be counted under self-care, a category that Sam, Dean, and Jaime all had issues dealing with. It was incredibly frustrating.

He couldn’t let Jaime put off sleeping any longer. When Jaime removed his hand from his face, Castiel reached forward to press two fingers against Jaime’s forehead. As soon as his fingers touched, Jaime’s eyes rolled back, and a moment later, he was collapsed onto his back, out like a light.

Venus was startled by Jaime’s sudden collapse, springing to her paws and racing up to Jaime’s face. She sniffed him fervently, giving him a little lick on the nose before concluding he was okay. She sat back down.

Reaching for Jaime’s laptop, Castiel picked it up and closed it, returning it to its rightful place on the desk. Then, he lifted Jaime to properly lay him on the bed, covering him with his blanket, resting his head on a pillow. Venus curled up at his side, resting her head on Jaime’s stomach. She was a very good dog.

Castiel sat himself on the other side of the bed Jaime wasn’t occupying. He carefully toed off his shoes before bringing his legs up to rest. A soft sigh left him as he glanced over at Jaime, now sleeping peacefully. At least now he could get a little rest.

“Don’t worry, I got you,” he whispered, unnecessarily. He had noticed Jaime had whispered similar things to him, when he was still human and Jaime had thought Castiel was asleep. He knew Jaime did it to comfort him, and Castiel wanted to do the same for him. Needed to, even.

He reached over to caress Jaime’s cheek with his knuckles, a slight touch he’d hardly notice even if he was awake.

Dean wasn’t here, but at least Jaime didn’t have to worry about that for a little while, now. He could sleep for a time. That would be okay.

#dean writes #fictober 2023 #oc: jaime morgan #oc: venus #castiel #jestiel #general angst #death mention #dying mention #grief #torture mention #cursing

[griancraft]

“Why are eating disorders so common with trans people”

Yknow I kinda expect to bleed followers after posting this but. I’m going to do it anyways.

Do you not see the community pressure and sociital expectation to be a skinny trans person? That fat midsize and even average trans people are made fun of and mocked so much more frequently? An eating disorder isn’t a solution, but to many trans people who are already traumatized and have very little control it seems like it’s a way out. A way to end the torment. An eating disorder isn’t a choice. God, it really fucking isn’t. There is so much that leads to one. fatphobia is such a huge contributing factor to someone developing one though. (not because the disordered person is fatphobic, but because of how society treats people like us in bigger bodies.)

People don’t respect me the same in the queer community as they would if I was skinny. I know that because for a time I was skinny and out. Everyone respected my identity back then. That’s not hyperbole literally everyone did even the cis guys who turned into massive dicks later in life did. Now? Now that I’m fat teetering on midsized due to relapsing into an ED? A lot of people do not. I noticed it in highschool. My first year I was skinny as a twig, and as I became more comfortable in my own skin and got access to food I never had been allowed I gained weight.

I didn’t see it as a bad thing until society punished me for it. I didn’t see it as a bad thing until people stared at me when I wore a binder to the pool. Until I told them I was trans and they never extended the respect people had for me before.

it’s part of the reason my eating disorder developed a year and a half ago. And why it’s worse now more than ever. TikTok and Instagram and YouTube and twitter have pushed this idea that if you are a fat trans person you are ugly. You aren’t putting enough effort in. You’re cringe when you express your interests. You are cringe if you wear flattering clothing or a chest binder that binds your bigger chest a little smaller. It’s your fault you don’t pass.

You have to put in 110% to the societal beauty standard otherwise you aren’t good enough. Essentially.

The narrative that because I was fat I couldn’t get top surgery was pushed on me for years for fucks sake do you not see how damaging that is? To be honest it’s fucking exhausting and weight loss to any capacity shouldn’t be the only solution. It fucking isn’t. Yet it’s pushed as if it is?

For the crowd that yells and screams that eating disorders are fatphobic and cruel and evil? I understand you’ve been hurt by people but your average disordered person suffers under the same systems you are. Not wanting to be fat isn’t the only factor. (restrictive EDs aren’t the only ED out there lol) A large part of it is control and trauma. If you can’t control anything in your life you go to food. I know that because I’ve gone through it and am still going through it. It fucking sucks. None of this is glamorous. Nobody wants to be disordered.

#tw ed #tw eating disorder #this is from a transmasc perspective so sorry if it’s limited #fatphobia tw #sorry for so much ED meta recently I just. fuck bro it’s getting bad again. #and I need to share issues I see with the community

[socialjusticefail]

Commentary on that diet culture post

Its funny to me that i always see people talk about how fat people have it so hard with skinny people treating them badly, but Ive struggled with weight issues my whole life and have always been overweight and have never had anything negative directed towards me about my weight. Not once.

But my sister? Who is absolutely tiny and a size small in everything? Hoooo boy. She was CONSTANTLY harrassed about her weight and body, mocked for it, had completely unrelated health issues dismissed because at least she was small, had people making fun of her for what she ate or not eating enough (my sister actially ate a lot, she was a very intense athlete, hence her size), it got so bad that she developed an eating disorder thats taken years to recover from. I've had to see people I care about, my sister and friends, face shitty treatment and behavior because they had the ~audacity~ to not be fat, but everyone always wails on and on about how hard fat people have it and how body positivity is important (but only for some people).

As someone who is fat, and wishes someone had tried to help me learn a better relationship with food young (instead of just, constantly feeding me), im so fucking sick of that narritive. Yeah, diet trends are full of shit and do more harm than good, but its not all down to lucky genetics and actually how and what you eat DOES contribute heavily to your weight and overall health.

I dont know, that post just, felt gross to read and i genuinely like your blog and wanted to say, something because i never see anybody talk about the other side of things. People shouldn't belittle others for their body and how they chose to care for it/feed themselves, and that means every. Body. Even the small ones.

This is referring to this post.

I think our culture around weight and food is toxic. I do see more people making fun of people who are overweight than I see people making fun of people who are skinny or are of average weight.

#answers #anonymous

[imrodolforeli]

Jersey No. 09

Written by Rhoda Chapter II

Chapter II 

I couldn’t imagine that I was already a third-year college student. Whenever I look back or reminisce about the struggles and dilemmas I have encountered and surpassed just to be here in this moment of my life, I am really, really proud of myself. And, of course, I am prouder, and I salute myself for doing my best in my academic undertakings. I could say that all of my efforts in prioritizing my studies had paid off. My general weighted averages (GWAs) for the previous two semesters of my sophomore year were twice as big as my GWAs during my freshman year.

I'm not the brightest student in the class. But I would say that I am competitive enough for a mediocre or average student. Maybe the reason for this competitive spirit I have—aside from, of course, embodying the university’s mission and vision that I am studying at—is because I feel like studying is the only thing that I know and feel like I am good at. I don’t have talents to show the world. That’s why I try to work harder and better in my studies—the only thing that makes me feel like I belong in this world. I get that sense of validation whenever I see that my GPAs are good and when someone praises me for having those good grades.

My sophomore year was filled not just by good things about my grades or academics. I must say that it was also a roller coaster. So, last year, during the second semester, there were irregular students who became our classmates in some of our courses and whom we eventually became friends with.

There was this only guy from those irregular students with whom I became very close. His name is Neil Labrusca. A guy who is supposed to be a third-year student during that time. However, he decided to drop some of his courses in his second (sophomore) year because of the difficulties he had encountered during online classes amidst the COVID-19 pandemic.

Neil is probably 5’8 feet tall. He has a not-so-dark complexion and is quite physically masculine. In terms of his demeanor, he is carefree, nonchalant, and a good, sweet talker. He is also friendly and respectful to everyone. All of those qualities he possessed are what other people call ‘green flags’. And yes, personally, those are my green flags. That was probably the very reason why we became so close and became best friends. I like that about him so much. These are the qualities that I really want a guy to have. And because of those qualities, I started to like him romantically but secretly.

I don’t want him to feel uncomfortable around me, which is why I decided to hide what I truly feel towards him. For some reason, I'm kind of certain that he will not judge me for having these feelings for him because he’s a good man. However, I was still scared that if I confessed my feelings to him, he would change how he usually treats me as his best friend. I was scared of the thought of losing him.

I had been in this exact situation many times before. When I confessed how I truly feel towards the straight guy I like, it all ended up being strangers! It really sucks. It crashes and shatters my heart into pieces. I don’t like that feeling. It was depressing and self-deprecating. And I certainly don’t want that to happen to me and Neil again. So, I tried my utmost best to conceal my feelings for him. But I failed!

When I like someone, I can’t help but express it intentionally and unintentionally. It seems like the person becomes the center of my world. I do things that I don’t regularly do to my close friends. I started to always look for them whenever they were out of my sight or when they were absent. I always make myself available for them. I offer help even though they are not asking about it. I become clingy around them. I always want to talk to them; in real time or through chats. I give them stuff that they don’t usually ask. And, I feel jealous when they are talking or being close with other gays. I feel jealous when they make themselves available for others but not for me. I feel hurt when they don’t respond to my chats and calls. Sadly, this was exactly what happened to me and Neil. When I confessed how deeply in love I am with him. Everything changed just as I anticipated it.

          Frankly, it was all my fault. I am the one to blame for my carelessness. If I had tried harder to conceal my feelings and stay cool about it this would not have happened to me. Maybe I am still enjoying his company and showering myself with his sweet words and gestures. Maybe I am still feeling what they call “butterflies inside my stomach”, not a broken and bleeding heart.

          I was grateful enough that it happened during the finals of second semester because it means that there will be vacation and I can make use of that to avoid Neil and of course, move on. So, I made use of that vacation to contemplate, rest and recharge and rejuvenate my heart, soul and my peace of mind. Hoping that when I go back to school for another school year, my heart is already healed and that I learned my lesson. Fortunately, by God’s grace I was able to heal my heart and moved on.

          My heart is now happy again. And, I am certain that I already moved on because whenever I see him again. I am no longer hurt nor affected by his presence. As always, I realized maybe it’s not yet my time to have a boyfriend. Maybe I should be focused on pampering myself first with self-love and prioritizing something important which is my studies.

#writeblr #writers on tumblr #writing #writers and poets #writerscommunity #writer things #queer #lgbtq #reading

[colorisbyshe]

What are your thoughts on fat celebrities who gained a platform with body positivity/diversity/being a fat icon™ and after building their career on that they suddenly go thin and/or get plastic surgery? I don't have strong feelings about it, tbh. I know it's a touchy subject for some and I get that feeling of "betrayal" but at the end of the day I don't think everyone has to be an activist or symbol of visibility and one person will never be able to represent diverse groups of marginalized ppl.

I have to frank about this up front--I have lost a substantial amount of weight. I have talked about it here before but I don't like bringing it up often. I went from over 210 pounds at 5 feet tall to about 130ish (mid-size, just about). I originally started losing weight for health reasons (had to rapidly change my diet because I had gall stones and developed an unhealthy fear of eating for several months, so the diet change wasn't about losing weight but I did lose weight from it) and then, to be frank, I kept losing weight after I got my gallbladder out because... it wasn't just society that treated me better when I lost weight, it was friends, family. People who had never, ever done anything outright fatphobic had revealed themselves to maybe be fatphobic on a more subtle level. And... I won't lie, as much as I know that this newfound kindness is very conditional and is in many ways VERY cruel (and as much as that upsets me on a near daily basis), I do not want to lose this social capital.

And I'm not saying this all to humble brag or frame myself as like The Good Weight Loss Person but rather to be very clear about what point of view I have. (And it is absolutely fine if my point of view is one that doesn't matter to you or anyone because, yes, as someone who is no longer "fat" or is maybe on the precipice of "fat" and "Average," I am out of my lane.)

So, that point of view... is split.

I am wholly, WHOLLY for radical bodily autonomy. If you want to lose weight, gain weight, redistribute weight, gain muscle, lose muscle... godspeed. I just want that within a simple framework--I want everyone to be willing to first understand WHY they want said change, to pause, look inside themselves, and see if they're doing this for themselves or other people (or a combination of the two). That doesn't mean the answer has to change what they want, I just want some internal processing to happen first. And I want people to know the risks of what they're doing and how they're trying to get there--FULLY informed consent, in a way.

So if a celebrity wants to lose weight, cool. You're right, it isn't on them to stay fat or any other size for other people.

My issue is that celebrity's tend to "promote" their weight loss in unhealthy ways. They shill weight loss teas (DANGEROUS scams) or water fasting (DANGEROUS) or say "With a doctor's supervision, I didn't eat for two weeks" (STILL DANGEROUS, DOCTORS ARE FATPHOBIC AND DO NOT HAVE FAT PEOPLE'S HEALTH IN MIND). They promote dangerous methodology, some of which is a lie (and instead they got weight loss procedures done and only lost a small portion of weight through diet and/or exercise while the rest was sucked out or whatever).

In framing their weight loss as "progress," as an "improvement" to their body, they are reaffirming fatphobia and thus pressuring their audiences to seek out similar methods to lose weight too. And when those scams or lies or "only if you have access to high quality food and a personal chef and a nutritionist and a personal trainer with top quality work out gear" routines don't work for the average person, they resort to even more extreme disordered eating or over-exercising. It becomes "It worked for X celebrity, why isn't it working for me? There's something wrong with me, I need to starve myself."

The lack of honesty means their more vulnerable fans are being set up to pursue their own weight loss with an incomplete understanding of the risks involved. AND the rewards involved. (I'm gonna be honest, a lot of things people said "would feel better" when I lost the weight feel JUST as fucking shitty. I don't have more energy. I don't get fuller faster. It's fucking lies, my dude.)

Some of those celebrities say outright fatphobic shit and turn on fat people, as if to say "I could lose weight, what's with you where you can't do it," but EVEN THE ONES WHO DON'T end up furthering fatphobia.

That is a fucking problem.

So, how does a celebrity lose weight without doing this? It's fucking hard. Frankly, I don't think any of them should talk about methodology because nine times out of ten it's either a lie, an eating disorder, or something the average person can't even attempt. And it ignores the fact that different people are fat for different reasons, therefore for MANY people NO weight loss methods are possible for them (short or long term) and that there is really only a very small group of people where "diet and exercise" will do anything for (and an even smaller group of people where that change is permanent and isn't gained back).

Secondly, they HAVE to commit themselves to STILL UPLIFTING FAT PEOPLE. Be honest about how FUCKED the fatphobia they experienced was and how it's fucking TERRIBLE that they had to change themselves to receive kindness. Talk about the societal pressures they felt and how... in some ways, they took the easy path, especially now that the path was made easier by their wealth.

Celebrities don't "owe" anyone that vulnerability but it's the only way to limit the fatphobia that rises up to meet anyone who loses weight, intentionally or not. (People were SO fucking "kind" to me when I lost weight due to developing a temporary fear of food when I had gallstones, and I had to explain to them that this wasn't a fun self improvement thing, my body was changing because I was SUFFERING and I was MISERABLE.)

Of course, they are free to betray fat people by embracing the fatphobia, but I don't think that's necessary when you lose weight. Weight loss isn’t inherently fatphobic. Talk about weight loss as a bodily change, not a bodily improvement. Talk about how a lot of time weight loss stems from losing to pressure. Talk about how most weight loss doesn't actually stick and remind people up front that you are the same person you were 20, 50, 100 pounds ago and that you'll be the same person you are now if you gain that 20, 50, 100 back (and often more! (The majority of people who lose weight gain at least some of it back and many, many people end up at heavier weights than they started out at.)

If a celebrity can't do that, they go from "Person just exercising their bodily autonomy to feel the best they can personally, which is neutral" to a fatphobic person. Who didn't just work to be less oppressed but worked to then become the oppressor.

This isn't a perfect 1:1 but it's sort of like... you can work your way out of poverty without exploiting people. You can have a comfortable amount of money without hurting other poor people. But once you gain that money, you can't suddenly think that other poor people deserve to suffer or just aren't X Y Z enough to stop being poor. You need to continue to understand and HIGHLIGHT the systems in place that exist to continue to make poor or fat people be treated like shit and suffer. And how that's wrong.

Everyone deserves a good standard of living and you aren't a better person for finding a way to more easily get better or kinder treatment from the world.

Wow, I wrote a lot. And didn't really say anything new. Just "Yeah, anyone can do whatever they want with their body, even if it's unhealthy, so long as they understand it's unhealthy and don't try to trick anyone into thinking what they did is anything other than what it is. Also, we need to be aware of how we frame our bodily changes lest we inadvertently pressure other people."

Y'all should hire someone to take my hands off the keyboard.

#weight talk cw #fatphobia cw #dieting cw #weight loss cw #ed cw #eating disorders cw #disordered eating cw

[druidgroves]

5 10 and 25 of the hard oc asks for Georgia and florence?

character development questions: hard mode

eee thank you bleu !!!

Georgia

5. On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

I think I’ve answered a similar question to this before, but all of the following: at least three bobby pins (both for her hair & for picking locks if the need arises), a handful of caps she found while out & about, a pack of cigarettes, a zippo, loose rad-x, a pen and/or a pencil + scrap paper, and a screw driver.

10. Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

It really depends on where she’s at and who she’s with, but for the most part she tends to go with more clothing. She has her insecurities (scarring, stretch marks, body image, stuff like that) that prevents her from wearing anything too revealing for a while even after she’s been thawed out for a while. Pre-war, she liked the occasional low neckline/high hem fit, but after getting pregnant and the resulting weight gain, her confidence plummeted (bodies are completely neutral there is no inherent value to any one body type disclaimer etc etc but mom bod georgia is still hot as fuck). anyways once she starts coming more into her own in the wasteland and realizes her value is on what she can do and how she treats people and not any perceived value of her looks, she starts to get a little slutty with it on occasion. for fun.

25. How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?

Georgia always wants to see the best in people and believe they can do good, but she’s not stupid. She knows when to stop giving people benefit of the doubt when they show her who they are. However, when she’s close to someone is a whole different conversation. She’s not a fan of interpersonal conflict and has a harder time confronting those she loves because she doesn’t want to screw up their relationship.

Florence

5. On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

Loose caps, treats for Dogmeat, bandages, a few tabs of buffout (just in case), & gum drops. It’s very possible that she’s come out with dog kibble/buffout/gum drops when she meant to pull out gum drops/dog kibble/buffout at least once. meaning she has absolutely eaten dog kibble a minimum of one time before realizing she should probably put them all in separate pockets.

10. Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

She doesn’t really have a preference and doesn’t go out of her way to dress one way or the other barring like. sensible weather appropriate clothing (sweater when it’s cold, tank top when it’s hot, etc). Though once she hits her late 20s and gets outta her funk she does like to show off her arms a little more for The Gun Show.

25. How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?

Flora would like to believe that she sees the best in people first and foremost, but that’s never been true even once. She wants to see the best in them but is always prepared to be wrong, which I think is worse? She’s betting against herself constantly when she does this so she isn’t disappointed when it eventually happens.

#asks #bleumanouche #thank u for askin abt my goils uwu #ch: florence gallagher #pregnancy tw #body image tw #just in case ! #ch: georgia walker

[atendersun-archived]

Just a wittle PSA

Disclaimer: No, nobody did anything to preempt this, so no worries to anyone out there. It is more a sort of permission slip for any unsure writers out there on what to do about the Muu.

It is alright for muses to treat Muu like he is a "child". I will not behead anyone for any perceived ableism in that regard. In as much of a watered down version as I can offer, Muu is a developmentally and cognitively disabled muse who endured copious amounts of social and emotional trauma from those he looked to for guidance and companionship during the most formative years of his life-- therefore, he does hold a very juvenile manner of thought that one might find comparable to someone even below teenage years. Of his disabilities is AUTISM and with that comes the added challenge of being unable to really process out his feelings logically as is, because he is incredibly hypersensitive in that he FEELS his feelings rather than sort them via cognitive reasoning and internal monolog.

Whatever process one would traditionally use in an instance between two "average" in intelligence adults, I recommend throwing it into the trash. Especially due to the fact that while externally, Muu looks like this:

His inner pilot holds a better resemblance to this state of being when things are stressful / triggering (and go even younger when the instance is inappropriate in a manner he doesn't consent to, but that is a story for another time):

Indicators that any direction he is need of is on par with guidance offered to a younger demographic include, but are not limited to:

Consistent use of terminology such as "good boy" or the use of just "bad" to describe as anything other than what he believes proves himself to be in a positive light.

Be observant of comparisons being made and to what forms of media. For example, Muu has a consistent habit of describing the way he views himself as being the same bad level chart seen in Lilo and Stitch. Another example being his use of connecting his desire for comfort to how it is depicted in songs (Something Comforting) or films (Inside Out) while simultaneously backhandly applying the comment that he needs to earn those experiences through various methods of self improvement.

Lack of spacial awareness when upset-- mildly or otherwise. He often partakes in sitting in the laps of others no matter the age or size differences between them, because really all he is after is closeness and personal connection. As well as the fact that he may appear to be within proximity of having a fit / tantrum like behavior over not being able to receive the amount of affection when and from who he wants at the time. Redirection and distractions are completely advocated for in those instances. Do not allow his attitude to overstep even just once, because otherwise he will walk away having learnt that stomping his sunshine shoe wearing feet and whining are viable methods to get his way.

Methods I would personally suggest utilizing when it appears Muu is feeling and acting small:

It is more than alright to gently suggest he stop talking. No signing, no writing, nothing-- only listening. Think in a manner comparable to gentle parenting styles and I statements. I.e: I can see that your feelings are becoming perhaps too big to handle at this moment. Why don't we have a quick break to rest and rejuvenate ourselves, then we will talk, okay?

Indicate if any disturbances he has made can be resolved in minutes or days. As well as inquire the same on his end. That way there is a lesser weight placed on preexisting abandonment issues by giving his brain the opportunity to dive deep into thoughts centered on him making someone leave / love him less. Be honest, but do so with kindness and consideration. Expect nothing short of that for yourselves as well. He ought to learn he can't just get anything he preaches without speaking those same languages in his own interactions with people as well.

Provide permission and the promise of protection to cry. You would be surprised how quickly he can in fact bounce back if just given a moment to grossly sob things out without being hushed by shame. I can also state as a fact that really his driving force in life as the one and only thing he wants more than anything is to be held while he cries. He very much so is that same 16 year old boy who went days without his existence being allowed to be recognized as punishment for having feelings that were described as being "too big".

Hold his hand. Kiss him on top of his head. Offer a warm smile in his direction. Tell him you love him dearly. Speak tender. Call him by sweet names: baby, darling, little one. Anything really that can make a grown man with a heavy heart know that they were never too much, too small, or will ever be too big to be a huggable, lovable, and comforted always Muu-nchkin.

#psa #hisheadcanons

[aliengirl-97]

Control

Fair warning this is a dump of emotion

I am so tired of feeling like my life has just happened to me. I dont feel any agency anywhere, and tbh, now I’m single I guess I do have more agency but its limitted. I want to feel like I can control the situation with someone, and I can’t, it’s always the same, I’m always in the same stupid abusive cycles. 

I cant trust anyone. Not truly. I can’t let anyone in, I have to manipulate the situation to not let them see the real me and be vulnerable. And then I end up vulnerable anyway because they manage to get close and mean something to me. 

I’m so sick of feeling I need anyone, I wish I could be a strong, etherial being, above everyone else. Thats part of why I want my ED back. I miss barely eating anything, losing weight, how superior I felt to everyone&how numb it made me. I needed it. But even then, I needed to show off my thinness for validation, this pathetic little cry for ‘please can I be good enough’. And yeah, an ex of mine fueled that, but why is it still here so much later?

I dont even hate my body anymore. I have a very average, very normal body for an adult woman. Why do I want to destroy it? If I can control food I can control anything, right? Wrong. I could never control anyone who hurt me. 

Do I go through life expecting to be hurt? Making shallow connections? Do I isolate? I cant avoid it. 

I want to feel safe with another human being again. Please. I’m so sad I never can.

It’s all unfair and overwhelming, so instead all I do is fantasize about losing 20kg to become a skeleton again. That doesnt solve anything. All that does is allow my past and mental illnesses to have control over me, my life, that isnt some ‘gotcha’ to abusers, it wont make people finally treat me like a human being. It doesnt make me magically in control. 

And the worst part is that lately - I’m not in control at all. I’m maintaining my weight through binge/restrict, so I cant even have my illusion of control. Pathetic. 

#personal #long post #trauma vent #abuse vent #ed tw #eating disoder things #i feel fat #ramblings #girlblogging

[coolblackmetal666]

I feel like this is a take that someone needs to make, so I guess it'll be me:

Buffy ruined the MCU by being the best version of Spider-Man.

Both media franchises are about (or starts out being about) a depressed teenager who tries to balance having a normal, healthy teenage life with their superheroics. Their depression mostly stems from feeling like the weight of the world is on their shoulders, because their powers give them responsibility.

Also, both characters seem to have some meta knowledge about the tropes of the genre that they're in. I mean, that was kind of the X factor that made Spider-Man so popular in the 60s to begin with, now? He's just a nerdy highschooler, just like you comic book reader! He'll make the exact same quips about super villain names and evil monologues that you would do if you were in this situation, average superhero comics fan!

(This is also, imo, why Deadpool is the worst version of Spider-Man. They take the meta jokiness, flanderize that characterization to bits and ignore everything that makes Spider-Man a well rounded character)

I won't go into why I think Buffy is the best version of Spider-Man. I have to admit I'm biased. I grew up reading Spider-Man comics, and as a trans woman, Buffy filled a certain escapist fantasy in my teens that those comics filled when I was a kid. It's a very comforting show for me, for many reasons, so I might not be the most impartial person to talk about this.

I will, however, go into how I think Buffy ruined the MCU. The writing style is very distinctive. It's smart and quippy while dealing with heavy themes. It's no wonder that this is the most academically studied tv show of all time due to its psychological richness. Its also no wonder that it was so completely embraced by nerd fandom at the time, due to part of its lineage coming from that space. You can probably see where this is going.

Yeah, the big problem with Buffy is that it made Joss Whedon king of the nerds. Joss (imo) is a total piece of shit who treats his coworkers terribly, but he's also, unfortunately, a really good writer when he puts his mind to it. The Body is considered by many to be the best episode of a TV series of all time for a good reason. It's written and directed by Joss Whedon.

But yeah, he got so much praise for the witty, quippy writing style that I basically think it went to his head a bit. It works really well when your main character is a snarky teen or young adult, but Joss Whedon started writing all of his characters that way.

Then he got tapped to write and direct The Avengers. The problem is, when every single character in your superhero world is Spider-Man, no one is.

So yeah, never really been a fan of the MCU or their approach to stuff, but I have friends who are and that's okay. It's all down to personal taste eventually (even though I think the MCUs iron grip on the cinema landscape has been devastating for film as an art form, but that's neither here nor there).

Anyways, that's hopefully the last long, unfocused, geeky rant I ever go on, at least on tumblr, because it makes me feel really annoying when I do that. So yeah.

Back to posting pretty pictures of trees or whatever.