1. Try to give it form and to put it into words. Don’t allow it to be shapeless as that’s harder to resolve.
2. Agree that you will look at it and not ignore the pain - as any unexpressed emotions lead to problems later on.
3. Avoid triggers and memories that take you back in time, and open up old wounds, so you experience pain again.
4. Ground yourself in the present and who you are today – and remember you have strengths, and good people in your life.
5. Don’t allow the hurt and pain to take control of who you are, or limit what you’ll do, or the goals you set yourself.
6. Spend as much time as you can with those who care and treat you well – with those who see your worth, and truly love and value you.
1. Be aware of and respect your limits.
2. Don’t let others rule your life and calendar.
3. Take time out, and embrace solitude.
4. Listen to your heart, and do what’s best for you.
5. Accept that you’re not perfect – for we all mess up at times.
6. Make time for fun.
7. Treat yourself as valuable.
1. Acknowledge how you feel, and accept that this is going to be a more challenging day.
2. Commit to doing the absolute essentials but don’t push yourself to do everything.
3. Prioritize what’s important. For example, if you have a report that has to be submitted, then decide to work on that. However, if it is something that can wait, set it aside for now.
4. Work through your to-do list in small chunks of time – making sure you get plenty of breaks.
5. Tell someone who will understand. We need to get support when we’re feeling low.
6. Be wise in your use of social media. It may be good to deactivate your facebook account, or to switch off your phone to protect yourself from images and chit chat that leaves you feeling worse.
7. Make sure you leave the house and get a change of scenery.
8. Deliberately invest in some form of self-care … but make sure it is something that you know will help your mood. And remember that tomorrow is another day.
1. They believe in you even when you’ve stopped believing in yourself
2. They respect your boundaries, and don’t try to manipulate or control you
3. They’re faithful and loyal – and are always there to listen when you truly need them
4. They put up with your annoying little quirks and habits because they understand you’re not perfect yet
5. They’re not envious or jealous when you succeed at something. They’re on your side and want the best for you
6. They allow you to be you, to have your own viewpoints, and to follow your own interests - as they like you being unique
7. They are generous, large hearted, and quick to forgive. Also, they don’t bear grudges, and they think the best of you.
1. I need to affirm and to validate myself as it’s hard to accept validation from others if, deep down inside, I don’t believe it’s true.
2. My time is as valuable as anybody else’s so I need to prioritise what I need to do.
3. I can’t give to others, and help to build them up, if I’m not taking care of my own self first.
4. I need to remember that I’m worthy of love, of success, opportunities, and knowing happiness.
5. My opinions are as valuable as anybody else’s. It’s up to me to decide and to choose my own beliefs.
6. I don’t have to explain why I do what I do (unless you’re the police or have some authority!)
7. My past does not define me - I’m free to change and grow, to try on different “me”s, and to set inspiring goals.
1. Share your story with someone. Often it helps to put the sadness into words.
2. Try to detach and unplug for a while.
3. Respect your need for space, and a period of low stress.
4. Allow yourself to feel all the negative feelings.
5. Take care of your body and your physical needs.
6. Treat yourself with kindness.
7. Invest in good self care.
1. Remind yourself that thoughts and feelings aren’t facts. Often we think extreme and negative things – which are not completely true in reality. Try to get perspective and to be more balanced – and try to counteract accusing, negative thoughts.
2. Be patient, understanding and gentle with yourself. When you’re fighting depression or are feeling overwhelmed then that uses up a lot of your energy. Accept that today is going to be harder and put fewer expectations and demands upon yourself.
3. Do one small thing as it will help you to get moving - and you’ll start feel more hopeful as you see yourself make some progress. Also, keeping yourself busy will interrupt your thinking, and will help stop your feelings from getting even worse.
4. Although it’s not usually helpful to isolate ourselves, be wise in the people that you choose to be around. If other people are too happy – or too harsh and critical – it may compound your feelings of negativity. Instead, try and spend time with people who are gentle and calm, and who help you feel accepted and more positive.
5. Remember that tomorrow could be a better day. You just need to find the energy to make it through today.