#only for all of her siblings to continuously treat her badly because they were selfish

[shouts-into-the-void]

I think the worst part of Nellie's plotline is that Arthur's death really was just a tragic accident.

His death was really just a random horrible event that happened to occur at the same time that her childhood trauma resurfaced, but because she doesn't have the context to know that the Bent Neck Lady isn't a malicious entity trying to harm her, she honestly believes that Arthur's death was caused by her—and by extension is in some way her fault.

And then all of her siblings just abandoned her because of her very realistic response to her grief. Even her sisters the fucking funeral home director and trained psychologist completely ignore the fact that she's obviously in crisis because her grieving process isn't kind or pretty.

All while the truth of the matter is that Nellie, present or future, had nothing to do with Arthur's death. It was just a terrible event that happened because life is cruel and she's stuck unable to properly process what happened because she doesn't know until it's too late.

#i have so many thoughts on Nell and how badly her entire family treated her #she deserved so much better #only for all of her siblings to continuously treat her badly because they were selfish #nellie crain my beloved #nellie crain #the haunting of hill house netflix #the haunting of hill house

[marvel-sluts]

please don't go.

request: Can I request prompts 3. Please don't go & 16. Enemies to lovers with Tom Holland? 😊 - @palna (sorry it won't let me tag you)

prompt list

pairing: Tom Holland x reader

warnings: swearing, emotional abuse, angst, fluff

summary: you worked with Tom on set and ever since the first day he hated you. one day he overhears a phone call between you and your Dad, making him feel horrible for how he treated you.

a/n: im planning on making a masterlist soon so look out for it! anyway, enjoy lovlies!

***********

you opened the door to your apartment after a hard day at work. flopping onto the sofa and turning on the TV, not really paying attention to the six o'clock news.

that bloody Holland kid thinks he has the right to make your life a living hell. from the moment you met him he hated you.

you walk into the room flashing a smile to the people in there. you had been chosen to play a part in the new spider man movie. having quite a few successful movies under your belt you were well known.

you went round shaking hands with people, each one of them greeting you with a small smile and a hello. that was until you reached a certain individual.

"hi, I'm y/n" you say holding out you hand.

he looked you up and down with a grimace and looked at your outstretched hand, taking it in his and shaking it roughly.

"Holland, Tom Holland."

the buzz of you phone wakes you from your trance and you looked down to see your best friends name flash on the screen.

you quickly answer the phone and her voice can be heard throughout the room.

"sorry to bother you like this y/n but can we go out tonight? I had a shit day at work and need someone to take my mind off of it." she said.

"you read my mind, where do you want to go?" you ask, relieved to have an excuse to leave the house.

"how about the bar down the road from your house?" she said.

"sure, let me get changed out of my clothes first."

"okay I will be at your house in half an hour." she said hanging up the phone.

you run up the stairs and put on a black skirt and a pink shirt, touching up your makeup from filming and pulling on a pair of boots.

a few minutes later b/f/n (best friends name) rings the doorbell of your apartment and you go to greet her.

you reached the bar and grabbed one of the only remaining tables.

"so, what made your day so shitty?" you asked taking a sip of your gin.

"just my dickhead of a manager. he has given me about 5 projects and is expecting them all done by next week." she sighs rolling her eyes at you.

you snort into your drink "like your gonna get all of that done in such a short amount of time." you say.

"I know right. anyway whats going on with you?" she asked, knowing something was up. "is it that Holland guy again? I swear to god I will punch his nose in if he's done anything to you." she said, knowing how much he bothers you.

"there is nothing that you can do. he just gets on my nerves. I don't know what his deal is with me." you say.

"what does he do?"

"glares at me alot, won't speak to me unless its to criticise what I'm doing and just overall makes my life miserable." you say with a sigh.

"and you dad...?" b/f/n asked.

"same as usual, he still hates me and continues to tell me how much of a failure I am." you say rolling your eyes. your dad was a dick, you and him had never gotten on.

"I know, you just have to ignore him. he just doesn't see how amazing you are." she said smiling at you.

"I guess..."

after a few hours of talking and forgetting your problems. b/f/n drove you home.

after getting undressed you collapsed on your bed, exhausted. falling asleep within seconds.

******

you woke up with a start and checked your phone. shit. you had slept through your alarm and you were going to be late for filming.

quickly pulling on clothes and fixing your hair and makeup you ran to your car and got to set only 15 minutes late.

"oh here she is, finally decided to show up did you?" came a chastising voice.

you sighed, knowing immediately who it was, choosing to ignore the comment you walked to your trailer.

the hair and makeup team quickly got to work on you, making you look amazing within minutes.

after throwing a quick thanks over your shoulder, you rushed to set and got told what scene they were filming and where to stand.

half an hour later you heard a "and cut, great job guys. go and get read for the next scene."

you quickly checked your script and realised that you were needed for the next scene, opting to go to your trailer and wait to be called.

suddenly your phone rang, making you jump. you picked it up before checking who it was, assuming it was b/f/n.

"oh you've finally decided to stop ignoring my calls have you?"

shit, it was your Dad. "hey dad, and for the record I wasn't ignoring them. I was working."

"yeah, what job again? that acting thing of yours? how many times y/n, thats not a job."

"okay" you whispered quietly, just wanting this to be over.

"your such a worthless bitch you know that? even your Mum thought that before she died. it was probably you who killed her. admit it y/n. you killed her." he said, trying to press your buttons.

"how many times Dad, the doctors said that she died of a heart attack. it wasn't me." you say.

"pfft, your just covering for yourself. how about you buy me a new house to make up for it?"

"Dad, I just bought you a new house, and a new car. surely you can't need anything bigger." you say, knowing he is just using you but feeling guilty for saying no nevertheless.

"well I want new house, maybe somewhere by the sea. or some big mansion." he said.

"but Dad i was planning on giving some of that money to charity and the rest was going to s/n (siblings name) school fund. so that they can go to a good school."

"fuck s/n, I want a new house. and if you don't then you really would be as fucking annoying as your mother. your no good for anything." he said, hanging up the phone.

a tear trickled down your face. you should have known all he wanted was a new house, new car. why not get a new fucking kid while he's at it. you bought him a new car last month and a new house the month before that, surely he doesn't need another one.

a knock was heard on the door of the trailer that you had accidentally left open. you spun around to see Tom, worry etched across his face. he walked into your trailer.

"hey y/n, are you okay?" he asked, putting a hand on your arm.

"get off of me" you say, shrugging him off. "why would you care anyway, you've had this grudge against me ever since I started here."

Tom's face fell. "I'm sorry y/n I didnt mean to treat you like that."

"then what did you mean to treat me like because it was pretty damn obvious that you hated me. everyone saw it." you said.

"it wasn't you." he said looking down shamefully.

"look if this is about what you overheard with my Dad, don't worry about it. don't tell anyone and continue treating me like shit." you say, turning away from him again.

"no y/n what I overheard made me feel really guilty for treating you how I did. what I did was wrong and it wasn't your fault for how I treated you." he said, grabbing you and forcing you to look at him.

"then why did you do that to me?" you asked, confused.

"just before we started filming me and my girlfriend had broken up, she was toxic and would hit me and scream at me." he said, tears clouding his vision. "the day we started filming was the day I ended it with her, so I wasn't in the best mood. but when you walked in I could of sworn it was her. your hair and eyes are similar but your face is completely different."

"so from a distance I looked like her?" you asked, beginning to put the peices together in your head.

"yes. you had such a kind personality, always caring about others and everyone else loved you. but I couldn't get it out of my head. I guess that's why I treated you so badly, because you looked so much like her."

"Tom you could have just said something, I would have understood." you say, looking at him.

"I know I'm sorry." he said. "how are you, what happened with your Dad?" he asked.

"he keeps asking for new stuff, I just bought him a new house but he wants another one, and he wants a new car when he has the newest model. but at the same time he's always telling me how worthless and stupid I am, and how this acting thing isn't a proper job." you say, "maybe I'm just being selfish."

"no y/n, your not being selfish. I heard what you wanted to put that money towards instead of buying him stuff that he doesn't need. a selfish person wouldn't give to charity and help with paying for s/n schooling."

"are you sure?" you asked, doubt seeping in.

"very sure." he said, "is there anything you need, I could say that you are ill or something, give you some time to think over what happened with your Dad?"

"no I'm okay." you say.

"how about you come round to mine after work, we could talk everything out."

"yeah okay, I'd like that."

******

after filming was over, you drove over to Tom's apartment. he answered the door quickly and let you in.

you sat down on his sofa and admired the little things he had "borrowed" from the sets of different movies.

"do you want a drink?" he called from the kitchen.

"can I have a f/d (favourite drink) please?" you call back.

"sure."

he came back in with your drink and a coke for him.

"look about what happened today with my Dad, I never meant for you to overhear that and I would appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone." you say, looking down at your drink.

"your secrets safe with me, and if you don't mind me saying. your Dad is a bit of a dick." he said, smiling kindly at you.

"tell me about it." you laughed. "he's been like that ever since I can remember, he's always favoured my siblings over me." you say bitterly.

"well don't tell them but I prefer you." Tom said, trying to cheer you up a bit. "and I'm glad I overheard that conversation, because it made me think about I had treated you. and I'm starting to think that there was maybe another reason I didn't like you." he said sheepishly.

"and whats that?" you ask.

"I kind of liked you. I still do. after what happened with my last relationship I was scared I guess but I don't want to fuck anything up. I really like you y/n, I never meant to treat you like I did but I was pushing you away so that I didn't fall further than I already have." he said, blushing furiously.

"well Tom, maybe I like you too. thats why it hurt so much when you were horrible to me." you say. "do you just like me because I look like her?"

"no no no, that's not it at all. I like you because you have this sort of aura around you, people love you and your so nice to people." he said. "I like you because of your personality, the fact that you look slightly like a toxic ex has nothing to do with it." he added as an afterthought.

"aura?" you asked, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion.

"yeah, people sort of want to protect the innocence you radiate. your aura makes everyone love you and it's how your smile brightens up a room and how you look when the sunlight hits your features." he said, gently placing his hand on your cheek, forcing you to look up at him.

"I'm sorry for how I treated you, and it's my fault, but maybe we can start again?" he asked.

"okay." you say smiling up at him. before pulling away from his hand and sticking out your own. "y/n y/l/n, nice to meet you." you say.

"Tom Holland, pleasure." he said shaking your hand.

you turned around as the shrill sound of your phone broke the brief silence, checking the called ID this time you saw Dad appear on the screen. you look over at Tom in fear, showing him the screen.

"answer him y/n, maybe he wants to apologise. and I'll be right here with you" Tom said, flashing you a reassuring smile.

"okay" you said picking up the phone and putting it on speaker so that Tom could hear better. motioning to him to be quiet, him nodding in response.

"hi Dad." the fear in your voice evident.

"how's the new house you were going to buy me coming along? don't forget I want a big one." he said.

"actually Dad, I've thought about it and I just bought you a new car and house. the money is going towards s/n schooling and charity. I don’t think that you need anything else." you say, smiling weakly at Tom who gave you a thumbs up. egging you on.

"I don't care what you think, I'm your parent and you should listen to me. you are such a selfish bitch I don't even know why I bothered with you." he spat down the phone. "you are just a waste of space and I don't know how you made all of this money, who would ever want to employ you?"

"Dad you're not guilt tripping me into buying anything for you like you did last time. I'm not doing it." you say, tears beginning to cloud your vision. Tom noticed this and put his hand on your leg gently. in order to calm you down.

"you're such a fucking bitch. I never want to see or hear you again." he spat, hanging up.

as soon as he had hung up the phone, tears started falling down your face. Tom reached up and wiped away some of your tears before pulling you into his chest.

"hey hey hey, it's okay calm down." he said kissing your forehead and pulling you back into his arms.

"he hates me and its all my fault." you choke out before collapsing into tears again.

"its not your fault, your Dad is just being selfish and is only using you for your money. don't listen to him." he said, stroking your hair to comfort you.

"do you want me to go and get you something? ice cream maybe?" Tom asked.

"no, please don't go. I need you." you say.

"okay, I'm right here love. don't worry I'm not going anywhere." he said.

eventually you fell asleep, with his arms around you and your head on his chest. before Tom drifted off he kissed your temple and whispered "I'm so sorry y/n, I love you."

#tom holland x reader fluff #tom holland x reader smut #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #marvel #peter parker x reader smut #peter parker x reader #tom holland x oc #tom holland #tom holland x original character #the avengers x teen! reader #the avengers #avengers #mcu #peter parker #spiderman #peter parker x reader fluff

[fmdjoomi]

introducing mimi., the leader, main vocal and rapper of calypso...

what’s up guys? it’s yaz back at it again with another muse. this time around, i have joomi here. i had a muse of the same name before, but this joomi has a completely different background and all that jazz. i hope you guys like her and if you’re interesting in plotting, let me know by liking this post and i’ll message you. 

joomi’s history + personality:

for starters, joomi’s mother, seoyoung, was the absolute worst. she was a beautiful woman that used her looks and charms to practically con men out of their money. she left a trail of broken hearts behind her throughout her late teens up until her mid twenties until she met joomi’s father, jinho. 

jinho fell head over heels in love with the image of seoyoung, completely fooled by her charm and charisma. within a year of meeting one another, he asked her to marry him. she agreed, despite not really loving him back. she was just interested in what he could do for her financially. 

a few months after their marriage, she found out that she was pregnant with joomi. she was less than thrilled to say the least. she wasn’t even thirty yet and she was going to ruin her figure for some snotty nosed brat? hel no. unfortunately (in her eyes) she had to go through with the pregnancy. on february 14th of 1990, she gave birth to a baby girl - joomi. 

seoyoung couldn’t stand joomi, but jinho considered joomi to be the apple of his eye. he adored her and drowned her in attention, gifts and everything she could ever need or want. of course this didn’t make seoyoung happy. she was used to having all of jinho’s attention and she didn’t want anyone else having it - not even her own child. 

the arguments between her parents (mainly on seoyoung’s side, jinho was too much of a gentle, kind man to ever raise his voice, even when he was angry) and joomi was a witness to almost all of those arguments. it gave her a pretty warped view of her mother honestly. it wasn’t like they were particularly close to begin with, but seeing her mother verbally and sometimes physically attack her father left a bad taste in her mouth. 

by the time joomi was four years old, seoyoung had filed for divorce and was going to take her with her, but jinho refused to let her have joomi. it was the only time he actually raised his voice at seoyoung, which was enough to make her see that she wasn’t going to win that battle. so she signed away her parental rights, took her divorce settlement and left. 

not even two years later, jinho’s father had moved on with joomi’s nanny, which she didn’t mind at all. she saw her nanny more like a mother than her actual mother anyway. and not too long after that, her new stepmother and her father welcomed a baby into the world - joomi’s younger half sibling (gonna send in a wanted connection for that *wink wink nudge nudge*) 

her stepmother was the one who introduced joomi to singing. she used to sing and dance with her when she was really little, and as she got older, her stepmother could see the potential in her. she was the one who convinced her father to sign her up for singing lessons. to this day, joomi is extremely grateful towards her stepmother for being her introduction to music. 

when she was fifteen years old, she began auditioning for different labels and companies. she was accepted into bc entertainment and dimensions - she ended up going with the latter, a decision she kind of regrets. if she went with bc, she would’ve found more success because she most likely would’ve debuted with lily, but she loves her girls too much to ever truly regret her decision. 

there were times where she felt like throwing in the towel and giving up, but joomi was quite the stubborn one. even though she had to balance her school life with training, she never allowed her exhaustion or frustration to get the best of her. 

it didn’t help that her life outside of training had gone through ups and downs as well. she was fifteen years old when she developed her first real crush on someone - a cute boy at school. she was completely unaware of the fact that he was a total fuckboy. she ended up losing her virginity to him, something that he spread around school, leading people to think of her as “easy”. 

as a teen she was still softhearted and forgiving. she was a hopeless romantic that would melt whenever a guy told her that they liked her, just long enough for them to talk her into sleeping with them before they dropped her. she wanted someone who would treat her like how her father treated her stepmother. and they would treat her really well, until they got what they wanted from her.

this happened two or three more times before joomi finally realized what was going on and she became emotionally closed off. from that moment on, she swore that she would never let anyone in to hurt her like that again.

she finally debuted in dimensions’ newest girl group at the time, calypso, as the leader, main vocalist and rapper. the weight of being the leader of a group of girls weighed heavily on her shoulders, and when they lost members not even a year into their career, she couldn’t help but feel like an embarrassment in the eyes of the public. 

the feeling of embarrassment only grew tenfold when they lost yet another member two years after they debuted. she knew that there was nothing she could have done, but at the same time she also felt as though it would reflect badly on her. what kind of leader couldn’t keep their group together? 

it was frustrating, to say the absolute least, to never have their hard work pay off. from the moment they debuted, joomi made sure that she pushed her members to be the best that they could possibly be. but it seemed as though they couldn’t catch a break no matter what. no matter how much joomi forced them to practice, how much she forced them to sing songs over and over again until they got it right, they still couldn’t seem to make their songs stick with the general public. 

calypso wasn’t pulling in the kind of money that dimensions wanted them to, which meant that joomi and the girls were slower when it came to paying off trainee debt, and didn’t get much when it came to allowances.

not wanting to live off of her father’s money, despite him practically begging her to take it, she decided to find other ways to make money for herself and calypso. she had seen other idols make the journey into acting, and she had heard that it could become a lucrative career. 

in the beginning, acting was just a way to make extra money for her. she wasn’t amazing at it, but she was good enough to land a supporting role here and there, which made her realize that she rather enjoyed acting. it was a nice change from singing and dancing, and while singing would always be her first love and the most important thing in her life, acting was something else that she wanted to continue pursuing. she also knows that it’s a very good career to transition into once she lays her idol days to rest. 

personality wise, joomi’s learned how to be more or less aloof. she doesn’t let people in easily because she doesn’t want to run the risk of being hurt yet again. she can, begrudgingly, understand why her mother behaved the way she did. getting hurt by someone was way too big of a risk. in the words of yuna: i’d rather be selfish, hundred times better than pretending to be nice and getting hurt.

however, she’s very loyal and so protective of and attentive to her group members. calypso’s fans call her “mama mimi” because of the motherly role she plays in the group. 

honestly, she loves calypso’s sexier concept. she thrives with those concepts, and she likes feeling sexy. it’s v empowering for her. she doesn’t like it because it gets her attention, she likes it because of how it personally makes her feel. 

mimi’s image

as not only the leader of calypso but the eldest member as well, joomi is often seen as the “mom” of the group. she’s often seen taking care of her members - feeding them, covering them with blankets when given clothing on the shorter side and coming to their defense whenever they need her. it’s a role that she had fallen into rather easily, especially given her age and seniority. their fans have taken to calling her “mama mimi” as a joke because of this, but it’s something she takes in stride and even encourages from time to time by playfully introducing herself as “mama mimi” whenever calypso has to introduce themselves.

on the flip side of that, being someone who connects more with their sexier concepts, it’s no surprise that joomi is one of the sexier members in the group. where she lacks in dancing technique, she makes up for in stage presence and sex appeal, some people even going as far as to say that she “does too much” on stage or even that she “makes them uncomfortable” by how much she gives her all in sexy concepts. however, seeing as how their main fanbase, which consists of men, don’t seem to mind her onstage persona, dimensions does little to nothing to try to change her image, as it’s worked for her for the time being.

#famedintro #domestic violence tw #manipulation tw #this is long asf... sorry guys lmao

[animebabe301]

I’ll Be Okay

Pairings: Reader x Naruto x Gaara

Warnings: None, not really anything to be warned of

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 2k+

Author’s note: I tried really hard to make it angsty, ya’ll, but I’m not really good with it. Hopefully I can improve from here on out :) But this is for @serendipitybaebee

Summary: You, Gaara, and Naruto had been friends for awhile, but little did you know that these two wonderful men were the ones you’d have to choose between for love.

As you made your way across the village, you came across Lee, Ten Ten, and Neji. They seemed to be immersed in their own small conversation, and you wanted to know what they were discussing. “Hey guys, what are you all chit-chatting about?” you asked curiously. “Oh, nothing,” Lee replied, “just that the kazekage is here to visit his best friend.” “Wait, what?! Gaara’s here?!” Nodding his head, Neji simply explained that they last saw Gaara at Ichiraku’s Ramen Shop. Running towards the shop, memories of the first time you’d met Gaara played in your mind. You remember back at the chuunin exams that Gaara had been feared of simply because he fought to kill. As a kunoichi of Konoha, you were taught to resolve any altercations by talking things out, but if the other shinobi were to result to violence, you would only defend-never kill unless necessary. Everyone feared Gaara-even you. There was only one person who didn’t-Naruto Uzumaki. Naruto was the weird kid, for sure, and a jinchuuriki like Gaara, but Naruto never had the bloodlust that Gaara did.

You didn’t understand why the villagers hated Naruto. He wasn’t the cause of what had happened to the village that night, he was only a small newborn baby, but rumors spread like wildfire from person to person, making everyone turn their backs on a small orphan child. You were an orphan like Naruto as well, but luckily, your grandma was willing to take you in. Your parents had died while fending off the Nine-tailed fox when Naruto was born. You couldn’t blame Naruto though. Your grandma explained to you all the details of the night it happened. You were only a few months old, your parents were shinobi who were protecting the village. They trusted your grandma to take care of you before they went to attempt to fend off the Nine-tailed fox. As a young child, you didn’t like Naruto either, mainly because you were scared of him and the stories and rumors people would spread about him being a demon or that the night would be back the moment he’d gotten mad. You didn’t understand why people were so mean to him as well. He was a child just like you and the others, yet the villagers treated him badly.

One day, you were walking through town with a few of your friends while they were making remarks about Naruto and that he was an orphan because of his selfish needs and that his parents had killed themselves because he was an unwanted child. You didn’t laugh with your so-called friends though, you actually felt bad that this young boy was being hated on. You saw the sadness in his eyes, the tears that were forming in his eyes, and the fist by his side. Your grandma happened to be walking by as well, and had called for you to go home with her. That was the first time you felt a sort of sadness for Naruto even though you didn’t know him. Later that night while making dinner with your grandma, you didn’t know what to say to her. Your grandma was quieter than usual that night. While seating yourself across the table from her, the quietness in the ear was deafening. “Grandma, are you okay?” you asked. Before her spoon reached her mouth, she brought the spoon back down to her bowl. She asked you a question, a simple one in fact, “why did you not stand up for that boy?” “Grandma…is it true that his parents didn’t want him? Why are people so scared of him?” was all you could ask your grandma before she told you about that night.

She began by telling you of how Naruto’s dad was hokage, and his mother was the jinchuuriki before he was. Then onto how your parents were killed because of their loyalty to protect and defend the village. Your grandma knew of the details and horrors because she was one of the skilled shinobi who had simply retired due to her old age. Although she was old, she was close with the Third Hokage who had visited with your grandma a few times before. You’d seen him around more as a child, but less and less the older you grew. With tears in her eyes, your grandma asked you, “If someone said that you were an orphan because your parents were dead, wouldn’t you be sad as well?” That was when you decided to befriend Naruto. You’d left your friend group and started to play with Naruto instead. Eventually, you and Naruto became the inseparable two. Although all eyes were on you throughout the village, you grew up with Naruto, building a friendship with him that would, in your eyes, last a lifetime.

Your friendship with Naruto then brought you both to Gaara. He’d become your friend after his fight with Naruto at the chuunin exams. Eventually, the three of you had become inseparable and were only separated by the distance between Konoha and the Sand village. Because the village of the Sand and Konoha were allies after the incident at the chuunin exams, Gaara and his siblings were the shinobi in charge of bringing messages or goods to Konoha. While they stayed for a week or so, you, Gaara, and Naruto would go around Konoha having fun and laughing at weird things all three of you found amusing. Everyone would always make faces and whisper amongst each other at the fact that you, a regular kunoichi was hanging around not one but two jinchuuriki, but you didn’t mind. As your grandma had taught you, “if you feel like it’s the right thing to do, then do it and don’t look back,” so looking back you never did.

After catching your breath, you peeked inside Ichiraku. Naruto had already beat you to meeting up with Gaara. You huffed as you saw them both laughing together at something Naruto had done. Hearing you behind them, they turned around to look at you. “Y/N, I was just about to look for you! Look who’s here—” was all Naruto could say before you pointed your finger at Gaara. Scared out of his wits, Gaara sat there silently. “Why didn’t you tell me you were going to be visiting?!” you yelled while Naruto simply sank into his seat. With a smile on his face, Gaara explained that it was a bit last minute, and being Kazekage had been a bit rough on him since he was only beginning and was still figuring things out. “That doesn’t give you an excuse!” you continued on. “Okay, okay, Y/N, lesson learned,” Naruto said while pulling out a chair for you to sit in between them both. Throughout the day, the three of you spent time walking around the village and reminisced every memory you all had of your younger days.

Eventually, you all ended up at a river, south of Konoha, at the request of Naruto. You all had invited the other classmates to join you as well since it was a popular spot during the summer. Swimming was fun, but exhausting, so you decided to rest with Temari while sunbathing for some time. “You know… my brother’s not usually talkative with other girls other than me.” “Does that make you jealous?” you teased her. “No…” she said before continuing, “I just think he might like you more than just a friend…” “What do you mean?” you asked curiously. “I think he LIKES you likes you, Y/N,” she said with her eyes shut underneath her sunglasses. Your chest suddenly tightened. You had thought about all the times Gaara had been so kind to you, but you were oblivious to his attempts. With a small o formed on your lips, Temari answered your own thoughts. “But don’t worry, I’m sure he’d make you a happy girl, he’s doing his best, Y/N-” What she didn’t know was that you weren’t in love with Gaara. You were in love with Naruto. You only saw Gaara as your friend, and you knew that Naruto was going to be the one guy who you’d forever be in love and inseparable with. You tried to keep it on the down low, and the only other person who knew your feelings was your grandma. Temari interrupted your thoughts with a simple, “—just don’t break my little brother’s heart.” That night, you tossed and turned while thinking of how to approach Gaara about what Temari had said. No matter how tired you were, you couldn’t sleep peacefully. Your grandma had heard you tossing and turning from her room, so she came in to check on you. Asking you what was wrong, you explained your situation to her. You cried as you told her that you didn’t want to choose. You wanted to stay friends with Gaara while loving Naruto, but you didn’t know that Gaara had feelings for you until now. Holding you until you fell asleep that night, your grandma couldn’t help but try to help you understand that you’d have to choose one day.

The next morning, you, Gaara, and Naruto were set off to your last adventure before the sand siblings were to return home. Lord Third needed to speak to Naruto about his last mission, so you and Gaara decided to meet with him later. Walking along the path towards the stone faces of Konoha, you were trying to make conversation with Gaara without being awkward and weirded out by the fact that he liked you. You both stopped at the top, overlooking Konoha. Before you could say anything, Gaara blurted out, “I like you, Y/N… I just wanted to let you know before I left back to my village.” You sat there quietly, while tears started forming in your eyes. One way or another, you couldn’t lead your friend on, making him believe that you had the same feelings even though you didn’t. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? I—” “I don’t like you,” you said, cutting Gaara’s question off, “I only see you as a friend, and I don’t think you should like me. You need to go find someone else to like, Gaara. I’ll always be your friend, and I’ll always be here to support you, but I like Naruto. I don’t like you the same way. Naruto is the guy I want to marry, not you…” While sitting in an awkward silence, Gaara sighed and said, “I know you like Naruto, I just thought I had a chance…” “I’m sorry, Gaara, but please give your heart to someone else who deserves it. I can’t give you the love you’ve given me. I’m sorry,” you explained to Gaara. When you looked up, Gaara wasn’t looking at you, instead looking over Konoha. Nodding his head in agreement with what you said, he simply said, “you’re right.” “I’m so so sorry, Gaara. I like Naruto, and I want to be your friend as well. I just don’t want this to sever this friendship we’ve built over the years.” Turning his head with his soft green eyes and a smile, Gaara held your hand and said, “It’s okay, I’ll be okay, Y/N.” That was a lie. You knew he was hurt, but Gaara was always the type of friend to put other’s needs before his own. He wasn’t selfish, but you only saw him as a friend.

Sending Gaara off was awkward, but you hugged him and told him to let you know if there was anything he needed, he just needed to contact the Third Hokage to send you and Naruto to the Sand village to help him with whatever he needed. “Yes!” Naruto said while pulling you and Gaara in for a hug, “We’ll be there for you no matter what!” With a smile and a nod of thanks, Gaara said his goodbye and turned to leave with Temari and Kankuro. With a small hint of a tear slipping from Gaara’s eyes, he turned around to wave one last goodbye. Your heart hurt from breaking Gaara’s, but you felt that it was the right thing to do. Gaara was only your friend, and you were sure that Naruto was the right person for you. Two great shinobis of the world, yet you could only have one.

#gaara x reader #gaaraangst #gaara imagines #naruto x reader #naruto imagines #narutoangst

[morkofday]

am gonna be so bold and ask three characters for the meme:

- nam sunho (my country)

- chacha (jatn)

- hei xiazi (because i wanna hear more about this boy)

have fun 💞

wow ok this was such a delight! i’m so happy you ended up asking for three bc this gives me such amazing variety ;; there are so many characters i love and have loved throughout the years and am happy to take this trip down the memory lane~

(placing under a cut obviously bc three characters at once makes this a damn novel. also, a spoiler warning for my country and sand sea!)

Nam Seonho – My Country: The New Age

How I feel about this character

Oh boy. It’s been a hot minute since I watched My Country, as you know. I still remember how I messed up the beginning and actually skipped the whole first episode, so I think I kind of… Didn’t get to see Nam Seonho being more carefree? Yes, I saw them all in the kite flying scene which still breaks me to this day, but I didn’t see him and Hwi being absolute disasters together (in the funny way). So, because of this, I think my first feelings with him were annoyance and maybe even distaste. I am a bit prejudiced like that. Especially when he got compared to someone like Seo Hwi.

Despite my first thoughts about him, Nam Seonho very quickly grew on me. I hated to see him make all those mistakes and bad choices just because he had decided that all the people he loved hating him was easier than letting go of his own wish for revenge. He was a very complicated character because of this, and I very much enjoyed that conflict within him. He tried very hard to be bad and cruel and horrible (and succeeded to some length) but underneath, he was still kind and loving and just so very, very hurt. I understood his wish to avenge his mother. I understood his hate towards his father (as we both did, that man can burn in hell). I understood why he chose to do all those things he did and still wish he didn’t have to. That there had been another way. That he could’ve trusted Hwi and work with him instead of taking this lonely path by himself. But then again, I know they both were fighting against powers that were bigger than them, against powers they wanted to protect the other from, and there were many occasions where they didn’t have any other choice but to take the worst option out of all the bad options available. My Country broke my heart with that and I still can’t be mad at it because it made all those punches so perfectly.  

Simply put: I love him, but I also hate him. I am angry at him for doing all these things, for being so damn selfish, but I understand why. He is good underneath all the bad. He is so broken underneath all that grace. He deserves to think more highly of himself, and I wish he could’ve regarded himself as someone to be loved instead of someone to be left behind. He has done horrible things, some of those for solely his own benefit, but I think he still deserves forgiveness in the end. He is dear to me and watching him grow and get at least some brief glimpses of happiness made my heart swell.  

All the people I ship romantically with this character

There is none other than Hwi. I can’t really ship Seonho to anyone else despite the drama trying that very badly. I never felt he would’ve worked with Hui Jae and his thing with Yeon also felt more like a bond between siblings. I also know he had a strong bond with his… second in command? Companion who he saved? Frenemy?? Sungrok but I felt like that didn’t go over there either. And hey, why change something that works? He and Hwi were meant to be, somehow. I can see it as something one sided and painful and breaking and desperate, something fragile that was never made to exist, but I can see it as something reciprocated too, something discovered and learned and gently blooming. They could work either way, either Hwi never learning about Seonho’s deeper feelings and just going away with Hui Jae, or them colliding in the middle of everything and deciding they can’t let go. It’s canon anyway that they were bonded from the beginning. I can’t remember any exact lines from the drama, but they kept saying that they were tied and I think it really works no matter what the feelings between them are.  

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Oh boy. Seonho didn’t really make that many friends throughout the drama because he just kept pushing people away and being a dick, but I did adore how he came to trust and care about Sungrok. They started off as enemies, Sungrok just threatening to kill Seonho any chance he got and Seonho giving back the same amount, but then they just slowly bonded? And Sungrok came to admire Seonho, and then, in the end, sacrificed a lot for him. They worked, and I was happy that Seonho had at least someone by his side. That he allowed that for himself. Also, I just enjoyed some of their banter a lot because Sungrok really gave Seonho some reality checks out there which he needed, that idiot. And the death scene still haunts me to this day, okay. Seonho after such a loss, once again, was just… So horrible to watch. He lost so much and gained so little. It was cruel that he had to lose his only self made friend too.

My unpopular opinion about this character

I have no idea what people think about Nam Seonho in general? I think my love for him is already an unpopular opinion :’D That I’m willing to understand him and forgive him might already feel strange to some. He just… We’ve gone through this, right? I have a type when it comes to characters I love and relate to. It’s angry, annoying, and broken. Nam Seonho is all three and that’s why he just makes my heart ache. He is loved despite his flaws. Hwi cares about him despite all the wrongs he’s done. He is, in some sense, still redeemable and deserving of better things.

I don’t know what else to say about him? There might be more if I remembered more of the drama in general. It’s just been a long while and I’ve basically relieved all of that through fics alone. Which we have too little of. I am so sad. They would deserve many, many words written about them sigh. Maybe one day I could rewatch this heartbreak fest too, right? Would you join me if I did?

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

As I said, I don’t really remember all the twists and things that got said or done in that show. I feel like it was very much complete. At least nothing has bothered me enough to remain in my mind. Of course, I wish the ending was different and that they were given proper happiness but I am not mad about that ending. It worked. It was some type of peace for them. Seonho figured out his most important thing in the world, his reason to live at all, and then got to die in Hwi’s arms. I don’t think there’s anything better for him, knowing who he is and what he’s done. I don’t know if either of them could’ve lived on with all the burden they would’ve had to carry after their life choices. So, I very much have to say that there is nothing I would change. Maybe if I rewatched I would think differently but for now, this is all I have.

Zhang Chacha – The Journey Across the Night

How I feel about this character

The first feeling I have for Chacha is happiness. She just made me so deeply happy all the time when I saw her in JAtN, with all of her craziness and flirting and smiles and adorable expressions. She was a delight and I adore her.

Another feeling (or feelings) would be warmth and fondness. She was so very real in that drama. She was very human. I loved how strong she was, how strongly she reacted to everything and how demanding she was with other people. She knew what she deserved from others and treated others the same way she wanted them to treat her. She was complicated but in a very loving way. She made me cry so much. She was so unafraid and so trusting despite getting her trust betrayed. She was so accepting. She was just… Everything. I can’t even give words for how amazing she was.

One strong feeling I have for her is also pride. She has gone through so much, since she was very young, and still, she manages to stand there. Still, she manages to smile and laugh and be very open with people (even if she hides certain parts very carefully). I loved that about her, how there was this balance between things she wished to tell and things she didn’t want to talk about. She had somehow found this perfect line to her intimacy with people. And then it was amazing to follow how she slowly redrew those lines with Shi Cheng and Li Jia. Those two of course had to push a bit, came a bit too close for her comfort, but in the end, she learned to trust them with her secrets. She learned that these people don’t change their opinion of her just because of her mother. It was amazing to follow the main trio’s joined growing process. And Chacha somehow felt like she was the most competent out of all of them, Li Jia probably falling to the bottom instead and Shi Cheng hanging somewhere in between, but it was somehow so comforting to watch her stumble too. To find herself again. To reach outside of the lines she had come to know within her life. (And because of all of this growth, I can’t even put to words how much I love JAtN.)

All the people I ship romantically with this character

You pretty much know this already but Li Jia of course. And then Shi Cheng (or A-Cheng I guess?) too because I am still mesmerized with the thought of having them become a trio. They would work so well like that. They balance each other out. They’re such a mess but they ground each other in this messy world. Everything is simple when it’s the three of them and I adore that for them. They would love each other so well. They would be so happy and would continue to grow. Also, I just love it how different Chacha’s relationship with both of the boys is because that leaves such interesting options for their romance.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

To be honest, the main trio falls in here too. I adore them as friends, first and foremost. They just work so well like that! I love how they keep helping each other when it comes to understanding all of them. I love the friendship between A-Cheng and Chacha because they bicker, but they are so supportive of each other too. A-Cheng would fight the whole world for Chacha. Chacha would punch A-Cheng in the face when he needs a reality check. They love Li Jia so fiercely, both of them, and Li Jia loves them back the same amount. It’s wonderful to watch.

Another one is Sharp. Their friendship is just so soft. They have grown up together and Sharp is like an older brother and a dad to Chacha and I love that for them. And then Chacha is this huge support and help to Sharp too, his closest connection amongst people. Chacha is so protective of him. She takes zero shit when it comes to the people she loves because it doesn’t matter to her who they are and how society sees them. And just. I don’t even know what to say about Chacha and Sharp. I loved how they understood each other even without any words and then did all these random things instead. The stairs jumping thing was so amazing and broke me so badly. They showed how deeply certain people can affect who you become in the future. It’s a relationship I wish I had for myself.

My unpopular opinion about this character

Oh no. To be honest, I don’t know if I have anything but love for Chacha. She is one of those very few female characters I actually like. One of the few I can even relate to, on some level. She was well written. She felt consistent and fleshed out. She had complexity and her own character outside of the romance which is usually the part that irks me if it’s not handled well. She was not just “the girl”, she was her own self and had her own story to tell and her own problems and her own flaws and decisions and mind. She was good. I have nothing else to say.  

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

God I can’t say this here because you haven’t finished the drama yet :’D I don’t want to spoil anything. Come ask me about it once you’re finished okay?

Hei Xiazi - Daomu Biji

How I feel about this character

Wow I feel like I come here to dig out my heart to present all these thoughts to you. But I don’t complain. Hei Xiazi, Hei Yanjing, Hei-ye – he’s an enigma, okay. I am not sure how to grasp him. He gives me different feelings in every adaptation where I see him, a little like Pangzi who I talked about while answering the other asks. But for Hei Xiazi, it’s also a bit different? He fits so differently into every story. So let me try to unpack all of that.

In Reboot, Hei Xiazi gets probably the biggest role between all the three adaptations I count him as part of (in Explore With the Note we see him maybe thrice and that doesn’t give much to think about so I exclude that. Though I love it how obviously he flirts with Xiao Hua even there lol). He was this funky secret agent type of guy there. He went to places and did stuff and fought people and maybe exploded something. He had his own romance story going on in that one and it, surprisingly enough, made me emotional. It intrigued me because Hei Xiazi is this deep mystery no one seems to know (not even NPSS probably) and Chuchu was slowly figuring him out? I liked that. I liked seeing that soft side of him and maybe the most serious side we ever get to see of him? It was kind of amusing how lost he was before that young woman.

My second meeting with him was in Sand Sea. I wasn’t that sure about the actor in that one, but he managed to give Hei Xiazi this very… Dramatic feeling? After Reboot’s epicness and somewhat lightness on his part, it was kind of a shock how shabby and gruesome and almost cruel he could be. Sand Sea in general seems to bring out darker sides of all the main characters, so maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised, but that still shocked me. Hei Yanjing being cynical! And snarky! And almost evil! He felt so cold in that one. I started to realize that he also has all these burdens to carry. That he also has pains we don’t know about. That he has all this past hurt we aren’t privy to. It made me want to wiggle my fingers inside the tiny cracks I could see in him (especially through his relationship with Su Wan) and pry him apart. He fascinated me but unfortunately, was left to the shadows at the end.

And then Ultimate Note happened! And I was so cynical about how he looked, how Liu Yuning made him look, that I wasn’t sure how seriously I could take him. I was so prepared to like him less than I had because Reboot’s version still felt like the best one. But, surprise surprise, I came to love him. I adore Liu Yuning’s version of him because he’s just so silly and confident and unapologetic and doesn’t really care what others think about him when he can survive without them anyway. I was a bit horrified with the strong humor aspect they gave him with his money craziness but that also worked in the end? I grew so fond of him. 

So, my feelings for him are a mess and go in many directions but I do like him as a character. I love it that Xiaoge has this other immortal around himself who is so different. I love it that he is a complete mystery (and so I can put my hands on him as I wish). I love it that he’s full of these cracky jokes. I love how cool he is but how he also manages to be the most uncool person out there. Maybe that’s his charm. (All the leather totally isn’t the other charming thing about him, nope.)

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Oh boy. Like I said, I did enjoy him with Chuchu in Reboot. They worked in some sense, or at least it was kind of interesting to follow their very… random romance? Hei Xiazi really was so lost with her and it was so amusing when usually he’s so sure of himself. It was puppy love and never led anywhere but it was sweet nonetheless. 

But then? After Ultimate Note? Is there anything else but Heihua? Not really. I like those two together because they’re such polar opposites but somehow manage to complete each other. For Hei Xiazi, Xiao Hua is someone who is his match and won’t fall behind no matter where he goes (that is his biggest concern when it comes to Chuchu who is just a normal person and not a tomb robber). Who he can tease without worrying about crossing some type of line. Who understands secrets and not being able to talk about certain things. Who understands death and loss and pain. And for Xiao Hua, Hei Xiazi is someone who will take him as he is. Who doesn’t care that he’s the head of one of the Mystic Nine families. Who allows him to be his cynical and calculative and neat freak self. Who makes him smile. They’re amazing. I hope we can watch Ultimate Note together at some point and you can see them being chaotic gays together :’D

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Ah, I feel like Hei Xiazi is very similar to Pangzi when it comes to this too because he just knows everybody. He’s just worked with so many people throughout the years that he has connections everywhere. And I don’t even know how tight those connections are in reality? He feels a bit like a ghost, just drifting in and out of people’s lives. He doesn’t stay. He doesn’t have anything permanent to come back to. He just does his job to whoever is paying him the most and then moves on. It makes me kind of sad but also suits him. 

But from what I’ve seen him now, I have some relationships I love to see him in. The first one is with the Iron Triangle because he feels like this silly uncle, especially to Wu Xie? One more uncle for that boy haha. Then with Pangzi they are really very similar and get along great because of that (Reboot is a delight with this). And with Xiaoge it’s just so funny to see him continue his joking XD He’s the only one who I know can tease Xiaoge and get away with it. They are some type of friends? I’m not sure if they know their relationship even themselves but it warms my heart.

Then there’s him with Su Wan! I was very doubtful about that relationship once I first heard about it. Su Wan is such a soft and gentle and naive boy, I couldn’t imagine him being with someone like Hei Yanjing. But wow, they work so well? Su Wan adores his Hei-ye. He just wants to make his master proud! And even if Hei Xiazi is very annoyed by Su Wan and cynical about him at first, Su Wan really surprises him. He’s very smart and capable and learns quickly. He clicks with Hei Xiazi and somehow ends up honing some of his sharper edges, especially after all the darkness he’s obviously met before the events of Sand Sea (man has been stuck on a desert for ages?? No wonder he’s a bit done with everything). It’s so cool :o Probably the best duo if I consider all the parent/guardian/teacher relationships our boys acquire in Sand Sea (Yang Hao and Huo Daofu are such a shit show and then Li Cu and Wu Xie are just way too questionable and in need of so much therapy oh boy). I love them. I’m so excited to write about them :’D

My unpopular opinion about this character

As always, I have no idea what opinions there are regarding Hei Xiazi. I don’t think I have even given him so much thought that I would be able to give any opinions. I am still just euphoric about the fact that I’ve come to love him. I’m so happy Liu Yuning loves him too. He’s a secret I’m keen on solving. He’s cool. I hope there was more content about him. I am so excited about my standees!!! Sorry, I really don’t have much to say here haha

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

If I could get one thing (because let’s be honest, at this point I would love a whole side series for Hei Yanjing because I am just so intrigued), that would be more of him in Sand Sea. Especially at the end of it? Because after falling for Heihua, I just keep thinking about that brief glance and nod he and Xiao Hua share across their battlefield. They never talk there and I wish they did. I wish I could see that. I wish I could hear Hei Xiazi talking about Xiao Hua’s damn fake funeral with him. They have a bond between them, I wish we could see more of it! But for now, I guess I need to make do with writing that myself hmph

thank you so much for sending me this ask! i’m sorry it took a while to answer but you know me the best so i’m sure you will forgive me. i had fun and i hope you enjoyed reading all of this ^^ ♥ 

#wow this is long #a damn novel #but i love all of them!! #thank you #gonna tag this also as #my country: the new age #the journey across the night #dmbj #hei xiazi

[linkspooky]

Ten Favorite Female Characters

I was tagged by @midnight-in-town​, so now I have to show them how much I love my favorite women. 

Name your favorite female characters from 10 different Fandoms and tag 10/or the amount you wish people

Tagging: @hamliet​ @amonmahboi​ @inumaqi​ @thyandrawrites​ @kaibutsushidousha​  @harostar​.. yeah, I don’t know ten people. 

Enoshima Junko 

“Hope is harmony. A just heart, moving toward the light. That is all. Despair is hope's polar opposite. It is messy and confusing. It swallows up love, hatred, and everything else.”

Junko wishes she was a psychopath. She’s spent her entire life pretending to be a crazy psychopath, because living that life is just so much more interesting than the one she’s stuck in. Enoshima Junko is just too smart for the world, and everything is too easy for her, and rather than try to dumb herself down a little bit she’s decided to knock everything else down. She’s a girl kicking down sandcastles because building them out of sand all alone is no longer doing it for her. 

Junko’s interesting because of the weird logic and loops she runs her brain into. There’s a complex character behind the whole “I exist only to spread despair” thing. She’s perfectly capable of forming emotional attachments to people, and genuinely caring. But the people she likes are generally far worse off than the ones she doesn’t care about. 

Junko wants so badly to, just not be human. She does the most inhuman things possible to prove that she’s not human. What really made me love her is the lengths she’s willing to go, to the point in Dangan Ronpa Zero where she basically took a screw to her own brain and started acting like a normal girl only when all of her memories were removed. 

Junkos relationship with Matsuda shows two conflicting sides of her character. How much she's humanized by her love of him,  and also how much she wants to completely destroy that part of herself. It's like she physically can't be a normal girl. Or rather she doesn’t want to be to such extremes she’ll break everything and then herself. 

And if she can’t be normal than Junko decided that self destruction is her next best bet. There’s just nothing that will satisfy Junko, and it’s interesting to watch someone that empty decide the world is going to end, or she’s going to end herself and she doesn’t really care which. 

Ajimu Najimi

“Call to me with affection, Anshin’in-san. Well, I don’t really care what manga characters call me.” 

Hey, I put Junko on this list twice. Both Ajimu and Junko live in a world that is too easy for them, and therefore they have no reason to get emotionally invested in others or try to attach themselves to anything. Which is why it’s fun to see Ajimu attempt the same thing as Junko to kill herself in style and eventually get saved from herself.

Medaka Box is such a meaningful manga to me because they take the weirdest characters and no matter how deranged they are they find the parts of them that are relatable and go, well guess what you’re human too. Ajimu literally calls herself a non-human and she’s just as human as all the rest in the end. 

The best part is it’s not her good points that make her human, it’s all her flaws. It’s easy to feel like the world isn’t real, that nothing in the world is worth living for, to feel no emotional attachment. Those are all human emotions. Not because they’re good and shining, but because they’re petty and terrible. Ajimu is this brilliant character, but she’s also kind of just a petty little girl using a ‘fiction is reality’ lens to cope. She’s not that special actually, she’s just suicidal, and kind of awful in general. It’s nice to see that human side behind the mastermind character. 

Azula

“My own mother thought I was a monster. She was right of course but it still hurts.” 

Azula is someone thoroughly dehumanized by everyone even the “good” members of her family (Uncle Iroh, Zuko, her Mother). I like how Azula in some part seems to be aware that both her brother, and mother seem to kind of consider her the “bad sibling” and she just decides to embrace it. Like it’s... not emotionally healthy in any way and it’s terribly tragic but there’s something about characters who actively make the decision to be a monster that gets me. 

There’s something about Azula’s writing that makes me uncomfortable, and it makes me sad that Zuko like... continually associates her with his father’s abuse, and demonizes her like she wasn’t also a kid going through the exact same situation, but Azula getting increasingly unstable is at least an appropriate response to that. 

Even if her brother, her mother, or her father won’t see her as her own person and they all see her as an extension of her father’s abuse on her, Azula is just so determined to be her own person even if it means burning the world, or herself A common theme I guess, but a lot of these characters have narratives about not being allowed to be their own person or shown any kind of humanity or normalcy. 

Morrigan

“Well, well, well what do we have here?”

Morrigan is mean, and nasty, and grumpy and bitchy and witchy. She’s allowed to be unlikable, because Morrigan never bends to anyone. Her survival, and freedom will become first before anything else. 

It feels like Morrigan is the main character in her own story, and you just happen to be a part of it for a short while. You may even be an important character to her, she may be attached, but ultimately you’ll never be more than support to her. 

Morrigan is such an ambitious an singular entity that her character development is letting you be a part of her life and not the other way around. She'll always survive on her own.  Morrigan is irrevocably shaped by her environemnt, and yet she craves freedom in that too because she doesn’t want to be bound by her past or shaped by her mother. So much of herself is dedicated to being better than the environment that she was raised in that she defeats her mother not by killing her, or freeing herself, but rather by being a better mother than her. 

Raven / Rachel Roth

“Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos...” 

Raven is fun, because a bunch of monks thought the best way to teach her to handle her emotions was to never allow her to feel any emotion ever. So, Raven is eternally running on a zero. She’s terrified even a small amount of happiness will end the world. She’s not allowed to be her own person, neither her bastard father, nor the monks treat her like one.

Raven is so gentle, and selfless, and emotionally perceptive and sensitive to others needs but she can’t ever display almost any of these good traits because she’s internalized the idea that she’s such a bad person. She always believes all the time that she exists to hurt others and that makes it so difficult for her to connect to others. 

Which is why her true friends bond with the Teen Titans is so meaningful, because Rachel found a family in spite of all of that. She has friends who think she’s a good person unconditionally despite the fact that Raven continually tells herself she isn’t. There are people in the world willing to navigate the maze of walls that Raven has built around herself, and that her environment forced her to build and closed up, and she’s so happy to have them. 

Midna

“Some call our realm a world of shadows, but that makes it sound so unpleasant... The twilight there holds a serene beauty... You have seen it yourself as the sun sets on this world. Bathed in that light, all the people were pure and gentle...” 

Midna just steals the show. Her story now. The game’s not called Legend of Zelda anymore now it’s Legend of Midna. Not only is she the most important character in the game she appears in, but she’s also in character someone so selfish she’ll always prioritize herself over everyone else. However, only because she feels that she can’t exist as anything other than the princess of the twilight and has to prioritize her survival for the sake of her people. Midna even says so at the start of the game, she can’t be kind because she wasn’t spoiled like princess Zelda in the bountiful kingdom of the light. 

Midna is so selfish and yet doesn’t really have her own wants and needs as a person outside of the role she has to play for her people, which is why she’s so terribly lost without it and just because this terrible selfish little gremlin. Link and Zelda affect Midna so much because they humanize her. They both sacrifice themselves to save Midna the person and she doesn’t get why. She doesn’t get why two people would help someone who has been so unkind to them and who has failed them this much so far. 

That act of selflessness moves her, and also freaks her out. She even says she didn’t want to be saved by either of them. Which is what makes her redemption in the second half of the game so interesting, because Midna really improves herself so she can become someone worth their kindness. She doesn’t want the selflessness of people like Zelda and Link to go to waste, and because of that begins to care about things outside of her kingdom and her role as princess 

Vriska Serket

“After all of this is over. Do you want to go on a d8?”

Unfortunately one of my top 3 favorite characters of all time comes from a really terrible source material. Vriska is everything I like in a character.  She's a mess. She's really hard to swallow. She's a character that's not meant to be liked.

Nobody really likes Vriska and it's all her fault for being such a horrible person, nobody wants her damage. Which is so interesting because usually main characters get forgiven over and over again. Everyone leaves and if they don't Vriska will burn those bridges herself. No character better embodies what it's like to be stuck in a self harming cycle

Authors are always so obsessed with making characters look good or showing what a good person they are few characters are allowed to be just plain unlikely in ugly ways. It’s what lets Vriskas genuine desire to be better actually seem like a struggle. 

Kocho Shinobu

“Are you angry? Yes, I’m angry Tanjiro. I’ve always been angry.” 

Shinobu is just all pleasantries on the surface, but so full of negative emotions in ways women aren't allowed to be. I love the medicine / poison dynamic to her character and how it rots her to the core. Too much medicine is a poison, while poison can be a medicine when applied to the right situation.

Shinobu is, two faced. She’s beautiful and kind, and full of ugly emotions and empty. She nurses people back from the dead, she sees no point in living herself and purposefully throws herself into a suicide in her plan against Doma. There’s just such a destructive dance between extremes for her because Shinobu is such a unique individual, trying to deal with all of these emotions she just can’t deal with. She can’t be noble, or better than her trauma, she just pretends to be a good person while she slowly rots away inside.  

Shinobu can put on smiles all day -

But she can't be like her sister.  She can't love people like her sister can. Maybe she could once but all that's left now is anger. Bitter, unpleasant, and completely in denial of it and still masquerading as a good person. The most beautiful kind of poison of all.

She’s not her sister, but she’s also not really her own person. She doesn’t know who Shinobu is, doesn’t know who Kocho Shinobu lives for. She just doesn’t imagine herself living past her revenge, and even though she’s surrounded by love she’s just so cracked it all pours out of her and absolutely nothing could be worth prolonging her life after everything she’s lost. 

Toga Himiko

“What exactly is a normal life? I also live a normal life, you know.” 

Himiko Toga is a girl who lives entirely on her own terms. Which is just so rare for a female character, you know? It’s so genuinely subversive to know that Himiko was once a nice girl, who always smiled, always put other people’s feelings first, and that sort of ‘good girl’ behavior drove her completely insane.

Toga deciding to be true to herself is an act of rebellion against the world. 

For Himiko everything is flipped. What others regard as psycho behavior is her normal. She doesn’t let other people define her story as a tragedy, and even murders the one person who tries to control her story. In a story where female characters constantly downplay their own importance to support the male characters Himiko is the only character important enough to be the center of her own story. Himiko’s story is so subversive as well, both of how society treats her, and how the story treats characters like her. 

Himiko is such an excellent yandere, all yanderes wish they were himiko. She comes off as this batshit stabby girl,  but then you find out that shes actually emotionally perceptive. She first comes off selfish, bratty, and self-centered but she turns into one of the most sensitive characters in the manga. She eschews the ideals of being a good girl that was forced down her throat, but that doesn’t mean she’s not empathic, or that she’s not capable of goodness. She’s good to twice. She’s good to the people who accept her. 

Himiko no matter what will always be a deviant. Always be an outsider. Instead of trying to make room for her her parents forced her to lie and wear a mask until her identity became completely shattered. I like Toga because under the knife wielding psycho she's a normal girl. Then under that normal girl there’s also a knife wielding psycho ready to fight back, and both of them are the real her. 

Ihei Hairu

“I saw the reaper, he was very beautiful.” 

Every character from the garden is just fundamentally broken.  Hairu and Rize are interesting foils, because if you think of about it a loveless childhood turned them both into ruthless killers. It’s just they decided to live for different things, Rize lived rejecting love and Hairu lived chasing after love. However, fundamentally they are the same. They are children starved for any kind of love or nurturing.  Hairu is so desperate she devotes her entire life to the first person who acknowledged her. However, the same sort of desperation to live, that tragic need to make the most out of the few short years they have exists in all garden children.

Hairu wants so badly to be a person, but she’s not a person. She’s half ghoul. 

There's just something about a girl who was never meant to be born and never meant to live, still trying.  There's a dark side to her character, she's violent and inhuman exactly like the environment she was raised in but she was also still a child at heart seeking love.

Which is why though her narrative is a thoroughly unhappy one, it does make me happy that there was someone who loved her in the form of Koori Ui. There is someone who wanted her to live longer. Her life was short, but she did live, and it’s that struggle to connect to others that made her truly alive. 

#hairu ihei #ajimu najimi #enoshima junko #toga himiko #kocho shinobu #midna #rachel roth #raven #azula #vriska serket #morrigan #morrigan dragon age #meme #spooky speaks

[ichigo-daifuku]

Solstice

Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia Relationships: Todoroki Family; Hawks/Todoroki Fuyumi Genre: Angst with a Hopeful Ending Word Count: 3.8k | AO3 Link | @todofammonth

Todoroki Family Month, Day 13: Love

Synopsis: Fuyumi’s heartbreaks came in the form of three scars on the left side of three people’s faces.

Warning: The following contains spoilers for the Pro Hero Arc and the Paranormal Liberation War Arc.

夏炉冬扇 | かろとうせん | karotōsen

lit. summer fires and winter fans; useless, untimely things.

At the tender age of twelve, Fuyumi bore the burden of being someone who had the usefulness of a fire during summer.

It began as a flicker of a flame during her younger years until something happened and set the sentiment ablaze within her soul: her mother’s breaking point. With everything Endeavor had put Rei through, Rei snapped, ended up hurting Shoto, and had to be taken away from home. Endeavor had mentioned Rei’s weak constitution time and again, but to Fuyumi, her mother had been anything but weak. Rei had been the one holding their family together, or at least, with all the strength she could muster, she had tried to. Without Rei, everything began to fall apart. Amidst the chaos, Fuyumi promised herself she would take care of her brothers. She gave it her all, but there was only so much a young girl like her could do. 

No matter how much she prayed for his return, Toya was gone, and Fuyumi held the role of the eldest Todoroki sibling in his absence. The first few days had been the most difficult. She and Natsuo would try to play together as they usually did, but nothing was the same any longer. Natsuo, who had been closest to Toya, would be so angry at their father, at himself, and at life—so much so that he ended up crying while pouring his heart out to her, the only person who was around to listen. She patted his back and grieved in silence, concealing her feelings of helplessness through speaking words of comfort to Natsuo.

In a short time, two members of their family had left them: their mother, indefinitely; their eldest brother, forever.

At a loss, Fuyumi longed to see her mother so badly, but when she took the train to Tokyo and asked the receptionist of Fujiya Hospital which room number Todoroki Rei was staying in, she was told her mother was in no state to receive visitors yet. Fuyumi couldn't argue, so she went home without complaint and stayed inside her room for the rest of the day. Her body felt numb as she wallowed in her gloomy thoughts, and a part of her came to the conclusion that if it was hard for her, then it was harder for Natsuo, and hardestfor Shoto.

The limited amount of interaction she shared with her youngest brother made her feel as if they were strangers to each other. On most days, she would catch a glimpse of his white and crimson hair before leaving for school, and when she was lucky, she would see him again when she arrived in the afternoon. However, some days passed when their paths never crossed at all. Fuyumi wouldn't dare voice out her thoughts regarding the matter, but she envied the other girls in her class. Their fathers or older brothers would come to pick them up after school and carry them on their backs to the playground, and they were free to dote on their little brothers as much as they wanted to. She could do neither of those. Although the Todoroki family was traditional, they were far from the usual.

Night fell. Everyone in the house was supposed to be asleep, but Fuyumi was struck with the inclination to see Shoto. The events surrounding their household plagued her mind as of the recent and kept her awake until the wee hours. Tonight was no exception, and she was certain it would be the same case for him. As quietly as she could manage, she tiptoed to Shoto’s room, slid the door open, and entered. Once she spotted him sitting on the futon, a blanket covering his legs and feet, she closed the door.

Fuyumi stepped closer until she neared his hunched form. “Shoto.”

Shoto lifted his head and sniffled, returning her stare with a blank expression on his face. His burn wound had been treated at the hospital and was well enough to be unbandaged. A scar as red as the color of the left side of his hair marred his angelic face. 

Trembling, Fuyumi lost the feeling of her legs and fell to her knees in front of her brother, her vision blurry.

“Sis...” Shoto whispered, sounding worried.

“I’m sorry, Shoto,” Fuyumi said, her voice cracking. Carefully, she reached out and took his little form in her arms, combing her fingers through his hair. “I’m so sorry.”

Shoto kept quiet. He shivered, and his body was wracked by silent sobs, dampening her clothed shoulder. “I miss Mom.”

“I wish she was here, too.”

“Do you think she’ll be able to come back soon?”

Fuyumi didn’t know how to break the news to him but decided to be honest. “I tried to visit her at the hospital a while ago, but I wasn’t able to see her.”

“Why not?”

“The nurse told me she wasn’t well enough for visitors yet.”

Shoto sobbed harder. He was so young, and all Fuyumi could think of was how he didn’t deserve any of this. Both in the physical and emotional sense, Shoto was scarred for life. The permanence of it all drove the tears Fuyumi had been holding back to stream down her cheeks.

Her brother was suffering, and she was unable to do anything for him.

For most of her life, Endeavor considered Fuyumi a failure in his life, someone who had the purpose of a fan during winter.

When her Quirk manifested, she had been excited to show it to him. Young and naïve, she believed she would be able to train with him and Toya and finally be able to spend time with them, but the moment her father saw frost instead of flames, he had looked away and turned his back on Fuyumi. Her Quirk disqualified her from being his successor, and Endeavor, driven by his selfish motivations, lost his interest in her. No matter how many books Fuyumi read, or how well she did at school, or how much she wished for it, he never spared her a second glance.

Fuyumi stared at the Endeavor doll on her desk. He was her father, so why did he treat her the way he did? Did he love her? Did he consider her as his child? His flesh and blood? She couldn’t tell. Questions such as those floated inside her head, but she was afraid to know the answer. At night, she would end up crying herself to sleep because she has never felt that she was good enough to be his daughter.

After Rei had been hospitalized, Fuyumi would offer her assistance in the kitchen during her free time. She enjoyed cooking, and it provided her something else to think about instead of the negative sentiments in her life. While she waited for dinner to commence, she would flip through the television channels and watch soap operas. One time, she came across a news report about Endeavor being the Pro Hero with the highest tally of resolved cases in history. As the reporter interviewed a few of the civilians Endeavor saved, she wondered if the price for the safety and lives of others were the happiness and lives of her family.

Years passed, and a miracle happened sometime after Shoto attended U.A. High School. The shift in Enji’s life was gradual, but nonetheless, existent. Fuyumi would never forget the first time she felt it. One Friday afternoon, she exited the gates of the elementary school she taught at and found him leaning against the side of his parked car outside, his arms crossed, waiting.

Once he spotted her waving at him with a surprised expression on her face, he opened the door and gestured inside with a nod. “Let’s go home.”

Fuyumi paused, unsure of what spurred on her father’s strange behavior, but decided not to question it. “Okay.”

The way home was filled with silence. At first, it had been awkward, but as the minutes ticked by, she calmed down. Halfway through the car ride, the sudden realization that, for the first time in a long time, she felt comfortable in his presence, made her sigh.

“How was your day?” Enji asked out of the blue, his eyes trained on the last of the pedestrians crossing the road.

“It was… good,” she replied and meant it. The traffic light struck green, and they continued on their way. “One of the girls got her Quirk today, so that was exciting.”

“I see.”

“What about you, Dad? How did your day go?”

Everything they talked about had been so mundane, but it was the first time it happened. No one knew how she cried that night with her heart full of mixed emotions, a spark of hope igniting inside her heart. 

From then on, her father picked her up from work when he wasn’t busy, sent her messages, and gave her souvenirs from his frequent trips—little things that didn’t seem like much, but meant the world to Fuyumi.

The day after the failure of a family meal she organized following Endeavor’s battle in Fukuoka, she found herself sharing a meal with her father in a traditional Japanese restaurant in the vicinity of the Endeavor Hero Agency. Her father didn’t mention it, but this was a way for him to make it up to her for souring Natsuo’s mood, even though the purpose of the get-together had been to thank him and to welcome him back home in the first place. Fuyumi couldn’t blame Natsuo for feeling resentful. In fact, she was the one who understood Natsuo’s feelings best as she, too, had suffered from the neglect of their father. At least, she had found out Shoto shared a similar point of view as hers which furthered her hope. Perhaps, it was selfish of her to dream of being a proper family, but when they finally had this chance, she would never be able to forgive herself if she didn’t grasp it.

As she sat across Enji, the scar on the left side of his face reminded her of the horrific encounter her father faced, the battle which she witnessed through a screen. “Dad.”

“Hm?”

“That villain you fought last time… The one which scarred your face...”

“Nomu.”

“Yes.”

“What about them?”

“Are there more of them?”

“Yes.” He nodded. “I believe there are more of those which are of the same caliber as the one in Kyushu, but a lot of those we have encountered are weaker versions of them.”

She sighed, placed her chopsticks down, and took a sip of her tea, unable to find the words to say.

“There’s no need to worry, Fuyumi.”

Even so, she did worry. Heroes lived in constant danger, and Endeavor was no stranger to that reality. Although she had faith in his abilities as a Pro Hero, his encounter with High End had cut it close. What if another Nomu—or another more powerful villain—attacked him? She refused to consider it, but she had to: what if he didn’t emerge from the battle as luckily as he did the last time? Endeavor was now the Number One Hero, and while he was thrust into the position in a manner that dissatisfied him, he was exerting all of his efforts to deserve the position. As for the person who was behind the costume, Enji, there were things he wanted to do for his family still, a brighter future he strived for those he had wronged. What if because of those villains, he wouldn’t be able to do it?

Enji was trying his hardest to repent for the sins he had committed against his family. He was doing all he could, but as Fuyumi gave her father a small smile and dropped the subject, though unspoken, both of them wondered if his best would be good enough.

Fuyumi wished there was a way for her to ease his burden, but whether or not he would succeed in being deserving of the title ‘Number One Hero’ and ‘Father’ was something out of her hands.

Even to the man she fell in love with, Fuyumi remained a fire in summer and a fan in winter.

The dysfunctional family she grew up in didn’t deter her desire to have a family of her own one day. The things she wanted and did not want in a family were clear to her as crystal. All her life, she believed she would end up with a fellow civilian, but all of her assumptions went straight out of the window the moment a certain someone barged inside her life: Hawks.

By chance, they met when she and her father were having dinner with some of his sidekicks. Much to Endeavor’s irritation, Hawks came in unannounced and sat in front of them. Fuyumi recognized him the second her eyes landed on his winged form; he was the hero who battled High End alongside her father. It was strange how the two of them were the same in age, but the responsibility he carried on his shoulders as a hero was multiple times the weight of what she had on her own. Still, he proved to be an easy person to talk to. He loved to joke around, even at the expense of her father. Somehow, the way Hawks would meet her eyes as they carried out a lighthearted conversation, genuinely interested in what she had to say, made her heartbeat race. In passing, he mentioned his lack of interest in nurturing the next generation which piqued her interest as she was the opposite—it was what she yearned to accomplish in her lifetime.

To Fuyumi’s surprise, Hawks surreptitiously slipped a small sheet of paper in her palm before they parted ways: it was his contact information. All night, she had thought nothing of it, assuming his flirtatious smile and behavior was something typical for him, but when he started inviting her to casual hangouts whenever he happened to be around Musutafu, she thought twice and dared for her thoughts to wander into uncharted territory.

Once, Hawks dropped by the elementary school Fuyumi taught at. He greeted and played with the children, claiming he wanted to witness what it was like to nurture the next generation out of sheer curiosity. As she watched him smile and laugh while he gave the kids a turn to be lifted in the air, she concluded he had nothing to worry about in that matter.

The closer she got to him, the more she wanted to know. The sentiment turned out to be mutual, and the rest was history. From his witty remarks to the bravery that flowed in his veins, Fuyumi couldn’t find anything that wasn’t worth admiring. Before she knew it, she had fallen deeply in love with Hawks. Even if there were fragments of his life she has yet to discover and memories of her own she has yet to tell him, for now, it was fine—they were fine. When they were both ready to share those aspects of themselves, they would cross that bridge together.

Everything was going well until she was reminded of the things his status as a hero entailed.

Hawks, who was handpicked by the Hero Public Safety Commission to train as a hero from a young age, succeeded Endeavor in being the Number Two Hero. As the circumstances called for it, he had to serve as a double-agent in the Paranormal Liberation Front, and it came with consequences. An inevitable war transpired between the heroes and the villains. Hawks had been on the verge of dying at the hands of a villain, but one of his interns, a student from U.A. High School and Shoto’s classmate, Tsukuyomi, had saved him.

Hawks made it out alive, but the aftermath of the war led his future to uncertainty.

The familiar scent of antiseptic filled her nostrils as she knocked on the door of the hospital room he was staying at. She braced herself, unsure of what to expect, and entered. Hawks was lying down on his bed as he greeted her with a smile like he always did. Half of his face, his arms, and torso were all wrapped in bandages. She kissed the top of his head and placed the flowers she brought for him on the vase over his bedside table, adding color to the plain white walls and flooring of his room.

“You have to eat,” Fuyumi insisted when she noticed that his tray of food remained untouched.

“But Fuyumi…” Hawks whined, his lips curved into a frown, “your cooking is a thousand times better than what they serve here.”

“I’ll bring you food when you’re not on a strict diet anymore, how does that sound?”

“Like heaven.”

With her gentle request and assistance, he proceeded to sit up and eat his food, any discomfort he was feeling imperceptible. All the while, he asked her many things like how she has been, what she has been up to, and if she missed him. She answered each one while matching his cheerful manner: she has been safe but worried, she learned how to cook a new chicken dish she thought he would like, and yes, she did miss him—a lot.

When the doctor came in a few hours later to check on his condition, a nurse in tow to assist him in changing his bandages, Hawks turned to her and asked, “Want to go buy us some drinks from the vending machine downstairs?”

She returned his gaze, her voice calm as she replied, “It’s alright. I can handle seeing this.”

In the corner of the room, she sat down and observed. As the doctor and the nurse unwrapped his bandages, Fuyumi refused to blink, both curious and afraid to find out the extent of his injuries.

A burn scar marred the left side of his face, and he could barely open his eyelid. His bushy eyebrow and the long eyelashes she had admired when she stared at his side profile were both thinned. The doctor and the nurse began to remove the bandages around his torso. Fuyumi had noticed it—of course, she had—but nothing could have prepared her for the sight of his injured back and the absence of his wings. She froze, her clenched hands trembling and her eyes stinging with unshed tears. The sound of his voice as he cracked jokes with the medical professionals while they treated his injuries barely registered in her mind.

After a few reminders, the doctor and the nurse left. Fuyumi returned to the seat beside his bed. A wistful smile graced his lips, and she returned it with one of her own. 

“The streaks in your hair,” Hawks said, reaching out to touch her hair gently, “they’re like my feathers, aren’t they?”

Fuyumi kept quiet. 

Aside from their color and pointed shape, those two things were anything but similar. His feathers had traveled far and wide, heard and witnessed countless stories, and saved lives. Her hair was simply a unique feature she possessed, neither special nor heroic. She hoped he wouldn’t notice how her eyes had glazed through her eyeglasses, but as fate would have it, his exposed eye was as sharp as ever.

“Come here,” he urged, his arms wide open.

She obliged and sat on the bed. When he removed her eyeglasses and wrapped her in his embrace—the warm, familiar, and loving embrace she missed—she broke down. Her tears fell freely, uncontrollably. 

He rubbed her back and stroked her hair, tucking her head underneath his chin. “Shh… It’s okay. Everything’s okay now.”

She choked back another sob, taking a few moments to compose herself before replying, “When I first visited and saw you unconscious, I-I was so scared you wouldn’t wake up. I’m just… I’m so relieved you’re alive.”

He pressed a kiss on her forehead. “I’m sorry for worrying you.”

Fuyumi shook her head. She should be the one comforting him and not the other way around, but ever since her last conversation with him before the war, she had been terrified. He had sounded as if he had been prepared to die. She wanted so terribly to ask about his past, what happened to him, who was the villain who injured him gravely, and what transpired during his espionage mission, but she knew better not to. It wasn’t the right time for it. For now, his recovery was the top priority, and Fuyumi would be there for him every step of the way, no matter what happened.

“I love you,” she told him.

“Fuyumi,” he whispered, “I love you more.”

If it were a normal day, she would have argued that it was she who loved him the most, but although it seemed like it was, today was anything but normal. Fuyumi wept for Hawks, uncertain if he would be able to soar high as he used to or if the sixth sense he had through each of his crimson feathers would ever return. The familiar feeling of helplessness crept inside her, making her question if her love meant anything at all.

In the end, Fuyumi could do nothing for Keigo.

The walk from the hospital to the train station had been short as she navigated through the streets in a daze, her feet taking her to her destination before she realized it. With the rush hour over, the crowd waiting for the train had thinned. Fuyumi stood alone, staring into space, her eyes still red-rimmed from crying. Her fingers trembled as she combed them through her short hair. Once she finished tying it in a ponytail, she opted to rest her hands inside her coat pockets. 

Memories of her family flashed inside her mind one by one. As if it was only yesterday, she contemplated the comfort she sought and the warmth she longed to give. She thought of Keigo, whom she promised to visit again tomorrow, and worried for him endlessly.

Today had been another reminder of her likeness to a fire in summer and a fan in winter, but once again, Fuyumi took a deep breath and exhaled with a resolve: to wait. 

She would wait for the day she would be able to do something for those she loved. She would wait for the time she would be able to protect them and be the one to tell them everything was going to be fine. She would wait until it was her season, until she was a fan in summer and a fire in winter.

Fuyumi had no way of knowing when it was going to happen, but deep within her laid faith for that time to come one day.

The train was set to arrive in five minutes.

Until then, she waited.

I would like to thank my good friend, ReverberatingEchoes, for proofreading this work!

I really love the idea of Hawks and Fuyumi together, so I'm happy I was able to write something that included them as a pairing 〜♩є(･Θ･｡)э

Thank you for reading!

BNHA Masterlist | Main Masterlist

#todofam month 2020 #todofam month #todofammonth #todoroki fuyumi #bnha fuyumi #mha fuyumi #todoroki shouto #todoroki shoto #todoroki enji #endeavor #hawks #takami keigo #takami keigo x todoroki fuyumi #hawks x fuyumi #fuyumi x hawks #fuyuhawks #huwumi #boku no hero academia #bnha #my hero academia #mha #bnha fanfiction #bnha fanfic #bnha fic #mha fanfiction #mha fanfic #mha fic

[estamos-destinadas]

Snapshots: Babysitting

When Elena Luna Carvajal is born, Eva and Mateo make the difficult decision of having the baby stay with the latter. It’s difficult for Eva because she would have to be away from her daughter until she gets released from prison, which won’t happen for several years. It’s difficult for Mateo because he would have to take care of a child as a single parent on top of his responsibilities as the interim-turned-permanent CEO of El Centro.

Fortunately, Mateo has the money to make everything easier for him. With Eva’s advice, he hires two nannies for Elena on top of the driver and house help that he’s already employing. He also has Valentina and Chivis, both ready and willing to help him at a moment’s notice, and both always happy to have Elena with them at the Carvajal mansion. Valentina, especially, helps Mateo a great deal in making all the preparations and arrangements necessary for raising a child. However, with Elena’s two nannies, Valentina hasn’t needed to look after the baby by herself until Elena is almost four months old.

.

On that particular day, baby Elena is at the Carvajal mansion after being dropped off by Mateo earlier that morning. One of her nannies has the day off, the other one is shopping for baby supplies, and Chivis is making dinner for the evening.

Now, for all of Valentina’s heart and dedication in helping to take care of her baby niece, she has never looked after a child of any age by herself before, which is how Juliana finds herself sitting on one of the comfortable sofas in the Carvajal mansion, cradling baby Elena in her arms as she feeds her breast milk from a bottle. Valentina, who’s still afraid of holding Elena while trying to feed her at the same time, has settled for wrapping herself around Juliana while she rubs the baby’s belly.

Valentina’s head rests heavily on Juliana’s shoulder. Juliana can sense the wave of melancholy that has taken over her girlfriend. She knows that it’s because Valentina still deeply regrets the fact that Elena will grow up without her mother, at least for the first several years of her life.

Juliana leans her head sideways to rest on Valentina’s, trying to think of something to cheer her up even as she continues feeding baby Elena.

“Hey,” Juliana breaks the silence that has enveloped them, “my mom really wants to meet Eli. Do you think that’s okay?”

That seems to draw Valentina out of her thoughts. “Neta?” she asks, pulling back just far enough to be able to look Juliana in the eyes. “Of course that’s okay, Juls! She can come over right now,” she adds, “we can send a car for her!”

Juliana giggles at her girlfriend’s enthusiasm. “Not right now, morrita. She and Panchito are on a date, remember?”

“Oh right,” Valentina says. “Their regular weekend date. That is so cute, by the way,” she gushes. “Maybe Lupé can come over tomorrow since Eli will be spending the night here?” she asks hopefully.

The baby has a crib in Eva’s room, and she often spends several days at a time in the mansion because Mateo gets very swamped with work. One of the nannies always sleeps in the room with her, but Juliana knows that Valentina sometimes gets up at night, if only to rub the baby’s back or belly as the nanny tries to put her back to sleep.

Juliana hums before answering.

Lupé and Panchito have visited the Carvajal mansion once before, when León-as-Jacobo invited them for a ‘family dinner’ before he and Guille went off to travel separately. Her mother found the Carvajal mansion to be quite intimidating, but Juliana decides that Lupé, who’s an adult, will have to deal with it if she wants to meet baby Elena.

Elena has never been anywhere besides her father’s house or the Carvajal mansion. When she has to leave either house to go to the other, she’s always accompanied by at least one nanny, a driver, two bodyguards, and one family member. Juliana privately thinks that everyone in the Carvajal household tends to treat Elena like she’s made of glass, but she’s not about to tell anyone that, least of all her girlfriend.

“I’ll text her later,” Juliana says instead, adjusting baby Elena in her arms. “She told me last week that she’s been wanting to hold a baby,” she adds, rolling her eyes. She holds Elena’s blue-eyed gaze, taking a moment’s pause before voicing out something she’s been thinking about for a while. “I just hope she doesn’t get any ideas about having another baby.”

“You don’t want a baby sibling?” Valentina says in a quiet voice. “But you’re so good with them. Well, you’re really good with Elena,” she adds bracingly.

Juliana shrugs. “I had to look after a few babies back in San Antonio.”

She started babysitting the neighbours’ children when she was just twelve years old, all for free. Everyone in that trailer park learned how to look after babies and toddlers, either within their family or for their neighbours, at about the same age. It was simply the norm where she grew up, a common give and take.

“There were a lot of babies that needed looking after,” Juliana says, thinking out loud. “We had this neighbour who had a daughter my age, and she had a baby when she was sixteen.”

Back then, Juliana couldn’t help but judge that girl, and all the other girls in her neighbourhood who had babies so young. Juliana thought she was much smarter than most girls, since she’s never liked any boy that much to be stupid enough to have their babies. Of course, as she realised later on, she has never liked any boy at all.

“If my mom had a baby now,” Juliana continues, “he or she could almost be my kid. It just… seems weird, you know? I feel like I’m too old to have a baby brother or sister. Maybe I’m just being selfish….”

In the end, it’s not about her, but about her mom and Panchito. She’s glad, however, that she’s able to get it out of her chest, knowing Valentina won’t think badly of her.

Valentina lets out a long breath. “I felt almost the same way at first when my dad was about to marry Lucía,” she says. “I wondered if he would have another kid, and I wasn’t sure if I’d like that. I mean, I think babies are cute and I like the thought of having nieces and nephews, but having a sibling that’s eighteen years younger than me is different. Also, I didn’t want to be replaced as my dad’s youngest child.”

Juliana takes her eyes away from the baby in her arms to look at her girlfriend, who’s wearing a rueful smile. She can’t help but let out a short chuckle at Valentina’s candid admission.

“I also like being my mom’s only child,” she confesses.

Valentina starts giggling. “Look at us, being selfish together.”

“Ya,” Juliana laughs, bumping Valentina with her shoulder. She knows that if León and Lucía actually had a child together, Valentina would have loved that child as well as any sister can.

Juliana’s motion jostles Elena, who draws her face away from the milk bottle and starts making noises of complaint. Valentina reaches out to rub the baby’s belly, calming her down. Juliana puts the bottle back up to her lips, and the baby happily resumes drinking her milk.

Valentina presses a gentle kiss against Juliana’s temple as she tightens her armhold around her back. Juliana lets herself be drawn closer to Valentina, relaxing against her side. This time, the silence that settles around the three of them is filled with lightness and contentment.

.

Of course, that momentary peace lasts only until baby Elena decides that she’s done with dinner. Juliana and Valentina have to separate so Juliana can burp the baby. Half an hour later, she has to guide a teary Valentina through changing her baby niece’s diapers for the first time. It’s all Juliana can do not to laugh at the look in her girlfriend’s face.

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Notes:

I don’t know what came over me when I decided to write this, except that -- 1.) I have a very specific headcanon about Juls & Val’s experiences with children and I wanted to share it, and 2.) I had this image of Val being wrapped around Juls while Juls is feeding her niece. 

I got the baby’s name from dealanexmachina’s headcanon about Eva’s kid -- read it if you haven’t. And I deliberately had them not talk about having babies themselves because they’d be too young for that at this point.

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#juliantina #fic #stories #future #mine #also I guess it's about time to tag this as: #snapshots series #since I've posted 3 of these #i never thought i'd ever write a baby-related fic #but here we are #also that first paragraph literally took me a day to write #because I got hung up on whether mateo should actually be heading up el centro / grupo carvajal #i hate myself sometimes #anyway... #shoutout to anon and fadedtobluesuniverse #for answering my questions about mateo

[oliveofthenight]

A Protector’s Pain

“Your highness, this is ridiculous, I’m coming with you.”

“No, you’re not. You are staying with Nalira and Inan to look after them while I’m gone.”

Anita gripped tight onto the letter she was holding. It was a report of what had happened in the war and the list of injured and deceased soldiers of Neolandia. Only, where she expected the royal insignia of Neolandia stamped onto the letter… she received the towers of Katolis. Regardless of who won, Kasef would have written back the second he could about the events, and he certainly wouldn’t have let anyone from Katolis write it up for him. She hated the thoughts that crossed over in her mind, tried to bury them as her eyes scanned down each and every name. He couldn’t be gone, he just couldn’t be. She was going to find his name on the list of injured and she’d ride out to him as soon as possible and scold him into the sand for being so reckless. And he would roll his eyes, tell her that he was supposed to be the one in charge, and then ask how his family was while he was away. He’d come home, broken and battered perhaps, but he’d be alive. He had to be, otherwise…

“Kasef, we are not done talking about this!” Anita yelled, storming after him as he tried to walk away, grabbing his shoulder to stop and force him to face her. “It’s my job to keep you safe, and I can’t do that if you’re out fighting and I’m at the palace! You’re not going into this war without me by your side,” she demanded, gazing at him with an intensity he hadn’t seen in a long time.

The boy merely growled as he shrugged her hand off. “You are supposed to protect all members of the royal family, and you’ll be protecting the majority of them here, or are you refusing to do your job now?” The question was clearly rhetorical, but it made the woman grit her teeth all the same.

“Your family isn’t going to be in any immediate danger that any other royal guards can’t handle, meanwhile you are going onto a battlefield while having no experience actually leading anyone, or any experience with battle at all! You’ve held a real, metal sword about ten times in your life! You can’t do this alone, and I’m not going to let you.” She told him firmly, her tone only softening slightly towards the end.

The prince hadn’t caught the softness however, only hearing the blows to his ego. His eyes narrowed on her. “Last I checked, I am the one acting as king in my father’s stead, not you. So you won’t be ‘letting’ me do anything. The only thing you will be doing is exactly what I’ve ordered you to: to keep my family safe as I avenge my father, who you failed to protect in the first place.”

She hadn’t been expecting those words, and they stunned her into silence as something dark sank in her gut. But, she saw the victory in Kasef’s eyes at her silence, at her pain, and for a moment she seemed to remember why she had wanted to kill him all those years ago. “Oh, are those supposed to be the king’s orders? Because the only one I see ordering me around is a selfish, spoiled brat!” She snapped at him, any resistance to her anger thrown out the window.

“Better that than a lowly peasant girl who can never learn her place,” he barked back.

“Only because I’m not paid enough to deal with a snotty royal like you!”

“I’m ‘snotty?’ And you call me a child!”

Anita snarled, waving her hands up in exasperation. “You know what? Fine, if you want to get yourself killed so badly, I’ll just let you then! And when your father gets better I can tell him what a failure of a son he truly had.” She missed the hurt look that flashed across his face, too busy shoving past him, angrily muttering the entire way as she exited, and making sure to slam the door hard behind her. It was only when she was out of sight that she paused in minor reflection. She knew he already had insecurities about his leadership and his father’s opinion of him, that was partly why she had said it, though maybe she crossed a line doing so. She shook her head, if he wanted to be treated like a king, then he needed to start using his brain instead of his heart. Continuing to mutter, she deserted the hallway to take her anger out on the nearest training dummy.

Anita blinked at the memory, trying not to let the guilt sink down any further as she focused back on the names. There were so many, some names she even recognized personally, but she hadn’t run into Kasef’s name so far, and she fought the urge to bite her cheek as her gut continued to twist itself into knots. Maybe she’d find him on the next page.

As she went to turn the paper, her heart stopped. That was the end of the injured list. Her body froze for a moment, before frantically searching through all of the papers again. There must have been a page missing, or she missed his name in her search initially. This couldn’t be it, she had to find Kasef’s name on that list. But it didn’t matter how hard she looked, it wasn’t there.

Her head was starting to feel fuzzy and she tensed, ready to run to the nearest bathroom to puke. She continued on into the list of the deceased, much more slowly than before, and it was more minutes of agonizing reading before she gripped one piece particularly tight, crumpling it slightly.

She saw his name at last.

Everything felt light, like she was floating around somewhere lost and untethered, before she saw his name again and reality slammed back into her. It was hard to breathe, she couldn’t see a thing, even the sight of Kasef’s name losing focus and blurring out. She clutched the paper tight to her chest and bent over it. “No, no this wasn’t supposed to happen. This wasn’t supposed to happen, you were supposed to be fine,” she breathed out. With no air in her lungs, it felt painful to talk. It felt painful just to exist.

Tears slipped down her face as she cradled the paper, treating it far gentler now.

The two hadn’t spoken since their fight, opting to ignore the other and glare when they were in the same room, pride keeping either of them from apologizing. But, the day had arrived for Kasef to leave for Katolis, and both Nalira and Inan insisted Anita be present for their goodbye to their older brother. Reluctantly, she agreed, standing in one of the corners and doing her best to keep a neutral expression as she watched the three hug and talk.

It reminded her briefly of how she had said goodbye to her brothers when she first left for the palace. Though, this farewell had much more permanent implications.

Her frown deepened as she saw Inan start to cry, and she left her post to kneel down beside him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “My prince, look at me,” She started, only continuing when the boy did as she asked. He had the same olive eyes as his older brother. “You know your brother, don’t you? You know that while he can be reckless with the brain of a monkey sometimes,” she couldn’t help but chuckle, especially as Inan started to smile. “He is courageous, strong and I know that he has a good head on his shoulders. And he loves you, so much. Loves you enough to fight for you and your safety, and with that kind of reason, there’s no way he won’t come back for you.” She assured him, her hand lifting to brush away the tears staining his face with a tiny smile. Then, her eyes moved to Kasef, and she gestured to him. “But don’t just take it from me…”

He stared down at her, eyes softened at her words and praise, before he looked to his siblings. “She is right. I will be back, I wouldn’t let some war take me from you two forever, knowing you both, you’d just annoy me back to life.” He smiled as he brought both of them close once more, chuckling lightly as Nalira poked his side from the last of his words. “But for now, you’ll have Anita looking after you. And I know she’ll keep you safe here, while I keep you safe out there. You’re in good hands with her, I know she won’t let anything happen to you.” He told them, but gazed at Anita as he spoke.

Soon, the children left, and the pair were left alone, still looking at each other. Seconds passed, before Anita’s composure broke and she went straight for the prince, pressing him tightly into her arms. She blinked back tears as she felt his arms wrap around her as well. “You’re so much more than just some royal I’m paid to protect, Kasef. You’ve always been like one of my brothers, like my family… So promise me, promise me you’re going to come back alive.” There wasn’t any strength to her voice, only tiny and pleading.

He was silent for a time, before squeezing her tighter. “I promise I’ll come back alive, and you’ll have been worried over nothing.” His voice was quiet, but reassuring all the same.

At the words, she pulled back, giving him a tiny smile. “Then get going already, you’ve got a war to win.” Her smile widened at his own grin before he nodded, going to turn. “I know you’ll make your father proud.”

That stopped him briefly, but not long as he went to mount his horse. He didn’t look as nervous as he had previously. His back was straight, shoulders up, he looked like a proud warrior. “Until I see you again, Anita.”

That was the last thing he ever said to her. The last words of the boy she watched grow up with pride. All of their time together, the fights and the teasing, tears grown from fears and nightmares, words of encouragement, all stored away in simple memories. That’s all she’d ever have left of him now.

She should have never listened to him! What was she thinking, allowing him out into battle without her? He was just a boy, hardly an adult, and she had let him lead an entire army by himself. Let him go directly into harm’s way by himself. And this was her punishment for allowing it. Was there even going to be a body to bury? What was she going to tell the king?

Oh gods and goddesses above, what was she going to tell the king?

How could she face him, face Inan and Nalira, and tell them that she had failed in her duty again? Look the royal family in the eye knowing she could’ve stopped all of this if she had just gone with him.

The paper below her was soaked in tears, as her voice shuddered out sobs and small screams that she couldn’t process over the whirling of all her thoughts. This was her fault, all her fault-

She paused as she felt a hand on her shoulder, and her windstorm of guilt stopped to let her focus on who was with her. Achmed, her mentor, knelt down beside her, looking at her with warm brown eyes. “Warrior, what happened?” He asked calmly, gently, like how he used to speak when she let her anger get ahead of her.

All she could do was look at him brokenly and hand him the tear stained paper. “I swore to give my life to protect him. And instead I let him walk directly into death’s arms. I can’t… how am I supposed to tell his family?” Her voice cracked towards the end, hoarse from her crying already.

Achmed’s face softened considerably, shifting to a more solemn expression than before. Slowly, he set the paper down, and encased the woman in his arms. “They will understand, but now is not the time to worry about that. Let yourself go, and grieve. You have lost a brother just as well as Nalira and Inan have,” he told her.

She was still for a long time, before her eyes screwed shut and she gripped on tight to the older man, letting the pain wash over her anew. Sobs filled the emptiness of the room once more, and Anita cried over a brother lost.

#tdp #tdp oc #tdp angst #writing

[smolbeandrabbles]

Selfish Pt.5 - Sheriff of Nottingham x Reader (Robin Hood 2018)

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

Author’s Note: I’ve genuinely been waiting to use these lyrics since March. And I must have written this... December/January? But I needed to get here!!! And it’s taken me an age, but here we are!!! 

Disclaimer: ...Haha, just ditto every previous version of this! Premise: She’s had enough, and she’s gonna show him what he’ll be missing if he continues this game... Words: 6573

Warnings: Sex... just edges smut? Maybe? 3rd Person Reader Insert

________ Don't tell me that you got better plans For those velvet hands, they're in demand Don't tell me that you're not a little curious Don't be so serious, it can be only us If you want more than your eyes on me, You can let me know privately RSVP Bring your love to me, It's an open invitation to an all-night situation If I'm where you wanna be RSVP I'm a fun party, yeah All you gots to bring your loving 'Cause I ain't wearing nothing Nothing you can't take off me

---

It had been more than just a few days, but she couldn’t take it. She didn’t want to see him any more than she had to, not right now. The conversation was short, and polite. The Sheriff could apologise in Norse all he wanted, but it clearly meant nothing to him if he was going to do the same thing over, and over, and over… She was hell bent on ignoring him entirely. Only she didn’t want to show that attitude in front of her brother… Too good for her own good. It’ll get better… It has to get better… Hearing it from Tuck, or just simply knowing he’d been to confessional was something she could block out, after all – The Sheriff could be confessing anything. Everyone was supposed to confess something. But seeing him do it. It broke her heart. But she still watched him walk away with so much longing. Because she wanted him so badly. And it was getting even worse now. Why could they have him when she could not? Why would he not just wait for her…? So she occupied her time exploring the city on horseback; she had been allowed to keep her blue war horse Eyhamel from home. And she had spent a little bit of time (maybe too much time) complaining to him (and crying to him) in the stables whilst he adjusted. But Marcus had noticed this; pretending he didn’t or keeping his mouth shut for his own good he didn’t exactly know, all he knew was he wasn’t about to go to the Sheriff with it. And so one day around the castle, he suggested she come with him for a ride around Nottingham. “…For both defence purposes… you can see the city better when its not drawn on a map, don’t you think?” He gave a reassuring smile “And… when you get married… a city over which you will preside.” Her face almost fell at the notion, but she took a breath and turned her eyes upon the pieces of the city that she could see from the walkway. “…I’d like that…” He thought she might, it was time she got out of here, and spent a little bit of time away from the Sheriff. Marcus thought they were good together, so if he could help to cool things down a little he would endeavour to do so. Askel was walking briskly towards them, and Marcus thought there was no better time than now for this either; “…We could take your brother too, don’t you think?” She turned, with a bigger smile, and repeated herself; “I’d like that. A lot.” Marcus had spent a little bit of time with Askel himself; but thought to Nordic man was just a little too extreme sometimes. Why don’t you execute people like this or this or THIS! It made Marcus pay closer attention to his own facial expressions, he guessed. The three of them enjoyed wandering, and Marcus found himself becoming fast friends with both of them. He knew she was never going to treat him like a second in command, she never gave off that air; and he thought that one of the things she needed most right now was a friend. Marcus knew she had Tuck, but he provided her with something a little more down to earth. And beside her brother, the only warrior she interacted with like this. The rest of the guys liked her sure enough, but they were also slightly scared of her… Or in awe… or both. Askel, getting to grips with his English language, was funny and had a sharp tongue to match his sharp wit. She would often hit him or push him if she found him saying something she deemed inappropriate. Siblings…! And even though he was older, Marcus noticed that Askel listened to what she said. She’s fierce… She’s respected… When we get her out here and we give her something to defend… and she has to attack… she will be more than just a force to be reckoned with. She could probably guard Nottingham by herself. Marcus suddenly had a better thought as his head swivelled to her, now sharing in a Norse joke, the way she laughed and looked harmless. No one would ever know what she was to look at her. If she was going to remain at the Sheriff’s side… She’d be better than a personal body guard. Well, Marcus… First they have to smooth things over… Soon enough he found himself racing through the streets with her alone, she and her horse could move quick, and he’d often lose her around turns and bends, and find her 5 minutes later folding her arms and wondering where he’d got to. She was becoming more and more independent. And now she carried that map around and started marking out plans. Marcus knew she was nearly ready. She could handle all this on her own already, he reckoned. Lucian would give her complete control soon; and she would do well to shake things up. People could become accustomed to the way Nottingham defended itself. Let’s see them defend against her! Of course these solo outings between the two of them, wending through the lower parts of Nottingham, and as close to the mines as he dared to take her right now. Had her asking all the important questions. And he knew she was getting used to it being her city. A City that would soon look to her for answers, as much as it would her husband to be. Looking to her to protect them, and to care for them. Marcus watched the way she surveyed everything, how she smiled at the people passing her by, and greeted them. She could do both, and he knew she would do them impeccably well. Which led to at least a small frustration of his own with his Sheriff. Could William not see what he had? Or could he simply not see what he was doing to her by continuing down the route he’d always been on. Did William just think about consequences later? Or did he think consequences wouldn’t apply to him…? Marcus learned a lot about the Sheriff from her. But it was mostly in the form of complaints. Which he would never repeat, but had him laughing; even when he was sure by the look on her face he shouldn’t have been laughing. But he felt it was good to know, and he asked questions he felt important to his status. If he was to defend this city, he would think defending the most important man in it was also a top priority. And she seemed to know everything he did and everywhere he went. What better woman in Nottingham to know?! Today when they rode back into the stables Marcus noticed how curious she got about the ebony horse in the far end. He’d watched her watch him before; but today as she unbridled her own and led him to his own stable she approached the horse herself. “Careful Y/N…” She turned to him, eyebrow raised “Why?” “He’s a good horse… But, he has an odd temperament. And I’ll tell you this, he’d not ridden half as often as he aught to be.” She stopped by the gate to his stable and watched him calmly; if he wanted to come to her, he would. “What’s his name?” “…Vesper.” “Vesper?” She repeated a word fairly foreign to her. “Yes… As in, Evening.” There was some mythology to the name also that he’d heard rambled about, but didn’t really understand. “Clever.” She said it softly, noticing the white blaze down the horses face “His rider would probably think so, I don’t think you aught to be giving him so much credit. They have the same temperament in fact…” Marcus hung up his own tack “…Fitting really!” She lent her head on the wooden structure; the horse looked powerfully built, tall, lean – underutilized. He looked ready to run – it made her suddenly sad. “To whom does he belong?” “Uhm.” Marcus bit his lip “…The uh… man you are bound to marry.” She dropped her gaze; why did that even surprise her? “He used to ride quite a lot, you know? Vesper is pretty quick. Exceedingly calm in crowd and damn steady. If… a little unruly… Unfortunately once you become someone as powerful as the Sheriff is, going out on a horse solo is not exactly safe an-” As he turned back to her, his eyes widened. Only she--!!! She could quite believe it herself as the horse wandered to her, she outstretched her hand slow and calm as he stopped just shy of her. But Vesper let her run her hands over his muzzle, and took another few paces to let her continue to stroke him. She placed her forehead to the horses and closed her eyes. From where he was Marcus couldn’t quite hear what she was murmuring, but he knew it was Norse. She opened her eyes again, and there was a sheen to the sadness in her eyes – he knew she was going to cry again. “…Seems like you and me are the same… Vesper…”  Her head shake was gentle “…Don’t worry, darling, we’re going to change that…” *** Sitting on her bed, in her room in her night dress made her sigh in complete discontent. She didn’t want this. She knew what she did want, and she wasn’t there yet, but she sure didn’t want this. The Sheriff’s own decisions were driving her to this – but at the same time it killed her that every other woman here was having him and not HER. She wasn’t going to marry him until she knew for sure he was hers – but he still had to propose to her; and all this courting back and forth was less than successful, because he had a whole bunch of courtesans he would call upon whenever he wanted (and would like to join him at the lavish parties Nottingham could apparently afford to throw.) Her one consolation prize was every time she walked away from him, in jealousy or disgust, Wil would literally get down on his knees and beg her to stay. And sometimes it really was pathetic. Sometimes she thought it would be best for both of them if she sailed back home – her father would not be pleased, she knew. But surely once she gave her reasoning it would be completely understandable. The problem was she was in love. Or, she was in love with the thought of being in love. He wasn’t what she expected – not hearing about him, nor upon beholding him for herself… He was smart – this flicker of genius he seemed to keep hidden behind the game he was playing. He was as gentle as he was ruthless; and he drew her in as much as he scared her. He was cunning, and calculating, and his power was all in his money. Or so they all thought. She saw through that, but she couldn’t get through to that. He was a rich, powerful, single man. No wonder women threw themselves at him, and no wonder he revelled in that. She was here to marry him, and until he made the decision to walk her on down the aisle, she was stuck waiting on him. The Sheriff knew she couldn’t really go anywhere – but he COULD show her off. He infuriated her because he knew he had her trapped; he infuriated her because any time he would turn his attention to her, she had the opportunity to revel in him. When his eyes were on her she was the only woman in the world, and for a few seconds, minutes, hours maybe Wil could make her believe that he could be faithful…

Well. She simply couldn’t take it anymore.

She rose from the bed and opened the door. The halls of the castle were dark, save from the flicker of torchlight every so often. After dinner she had retired up here and she hadn’t heard anyone come by, so he wasn’t in his own room. Which meant neither was anyone else; good. She knew exactly where he would be… She trod softly on her way to the balcony that overlooked the square. Any time he had to think he went there… Sweeping silently through the rooms, dark here apart from any moonlight and starlight allowed to stream through the windows. He’d left the last set of doors out onto the overlooking walkway open and the breeze left a slight chill across her skin. She stood and watched him, not knowing if he was looking at the stars; at God. Or to the city, his people. Seeing himself as somewhere in between? She watched his shift in position, his back straightened and he pulled his feet from one behind the other to together. His hands found their usual position on the balustrade and she watched his shoulders rise and fall with a deep breath. The Sheriff didn’t hear at first. He had far too much to think about, too much weight on his mind. But he was always cautious – there was just something that always niggled him about having his back to anyone. He guessed with the way he’d grown up it was only natural to be wired into him. He could feel a presence, but it didn’t feel malicious… It certainly snapped him from his thoughts enough to have him take up a more alert position. As he moved the silver concealed knife pressed into his skin, and that at least made him feel safer. “What do you see?” She stepped out onto the balcony, keeping slightly apart from him, he could hear every step she took now, her dress brushing against the stone, then the wood. When William hesitated in answering, she voiced her question again “…When you look out there, what do you see?”

He bit his lips together and swallowed whilst he thought on his answer; “Quiet. For once I see quiet.” He drummed his fingers gently on the polished wood “I see a city full of potential I can’t quite unlock, full of people who love me for the wrong reasons or hate me for the wrong reasons and I’m not sure I know which is which. Hell, maybe they hate me for the right reasons… I see things I have worked for become fruitless, as much as I see happy accidents taking on forms I could have hardly imagined…” He turned to her “…But what I hate seeing most is a woman to whom I cannot give what she wants… I am trying… But I…” he looked away again “…She is like this city… The difference is the city voices its discontent regularly… You only look at me with this distain I know you feel. And I do not blame you or the city for your feelings.” She looked across to him, with a kind of respectful interest, she was right. He was smart, old habits apparently just wouldn’t die. He hadn’t looked back to her as he squinted out over the roof in front of him; “What do you see?” She smiled, and followed his line of sight “I see my future. A future I’m trying to build in my head. If I am to fulfil my purpose here… A future I cannot build alone… In a country I do not know, with a religion I do not understand… But I wish to.” looking back to him, as his eyes were now back on her. The blue turned silver by the moonlight, his eyes betrayed a sadness, but it was deep. And she could already tell it something that was meant to stay hidden; “…I just can’t build that future, in this city alone.” “…I will not be much of a future.” She took a step towards him “You are the only future I have. And whether I like it or not you’re the only future I want.” “…You have no idea how many times I’ve been to confessional about this… I am no good for you, and your father should never have trusted me with you…” She searched those eyes for something that wasn’t hurt, but there wasn’t anything. The Sheriff was a broken man; he was just acting this part. And in that moment she wasn’t even sure if she could put those pieces back together. “I believe in my fathers’ judgement. And I know he was right.” Taking another step forced him to turn towards her, and she closed the gap to just shy of respectful “And I’m right too. All I ask is to be the only woman… It doesn’t surprise me that it is hard for you. I just suppose I might have expected you to try harder. Only I realise that my demands are slightly one sided…” She looked back out to the city “…I want it to be your answer too.” She slid her hand across the railing to meet his and William looked from her face, her eyes bright and hopeful, to the city too; “I want you to see your future when you look at Nottingham, but more importantly… I want you to see your future when you look at me, too.” He made the move to link his fingers with hers, turning the gap between them to mere inches; “…It is not hard to wish I could…” His eyes began to search her’s too, whatever he was trying to find deep inside her too was out of reach, for different reasons. She realised there would be a disconnect as long as what was inside her was not reaching out for what lay deep inside him. She was scared. She was scared that if she gave herself to him, truly gave herself to him, that he would have exactly what he wanted from her, and have his other women too. But what if that wasn’t the case? And she herself was the only person who could change that. “You can. We are both guilty of the same thing. And we need to stop fighting it.” She closed the gap between them without even pause for thought or breath. Holding his hand just a little tighter she reached for his other and found it. Now she just had to find whatever else she was looking for. The problem was she didn’t know what it was. The kiss was longer than she anticipated, and she had to break it to breathe herself. It had done something to him she didn’t realise until she was looking into his eyes again; and he kept his closed for a good number of seconds. Savouring everything – now his nails were digging into her soft skin; he was asking her because he couldn’t voice it, he couldn’t voice the vulnerability not to leave. He wasn’t down on his knees begging but she could see it in his eyes. She took a few steps back, with a confident smile; “You need to know what you would be missing… letting me go…” She didn’t let his hands go until the very last second she could. Their eyes still locked, and his slightly wide as he caught on to her meaning. She backed down the steps and only turned at the door – she was sure he would follow her…

She was slow enough as she traced her way back through the castle, every so often as she rounded a corner, or walked through a doorway, she would look back to make sure Wil was still following her. He was, his steps slow and deliberate… She got to her room door and stopped, she heard him stop further down the corridor… and she wondered… if he would… She turned, her expression voicing her question. Here…? The Sheriff’s face remained stoic, but deadly serious as he gave a slow shake of his head. And he loved the smile he received back…  Her heart fluttered at the thought of what was about to happen. From his string of lovers he kept around she knew this, none of them ever made it to his own chambers… She took a breath, new, relaxed and full of confidence she started her walk, at renewed pace, towards his room… She reached the door and placed her hand to it, turning one last time to watch him; this time he didn’t stop. His eyes locked on her as he walked, one foot in front of the other – more like a stalk than anything – slow and deliberate, towards her. The wood was heavy but she didn’t take her eyes off him as she opened it. She didn’t know if she was scared or excited that she didn’t know what he would do the second she took her eyes off him. Especially here… She slipped inside and for a minute felt like she might begin running. She didn’t when she didn’t hear him do what she expected. He must have been in as much anticipation of her as she was him… All the shutters were open; with no lit torches the room was bathed in silver light. It was beautiful… The room was large, huge in fact; she walked slowly forward, the smile on her lips at just the mere thought of being quite possibly the only woman to see this. At least the only woman of his. The bed was huge, four poster – she couldn’t tell if the sheets were white and grey in his colours – or if the lighting was turning them those shades. She wondered how much he actually slept in here; between work and other woman… He even had a desk in here; papers and books strewn all over it; at least three candles burned completely down and one well on the way… The breeze was also present here; making her hold herself for a moment. She heard the door close behind her, and suddenly became very aware of the beat of her heart. With the strike of a match the room was suddenly bathed in a warmer glow. She turned her head to look at him over her shoulder; aware she was still holding herself. He was taking breaths she could still see, and his eyes were studying her through her dress. The dip of her spine, the curve of her hips… everything he couldn’t see, but could imagine… Wil almost let out a contented hum. She was from the Nordics; notoriously cold – how hot could she love? The Sheriff realised as he surveyed her, he was already thinking of his future. She moved her hands up to her shoulders; now looking away from him she slid the sleeves of her dress down her arms. It was not a move he expected her to make… He wouldn’t even have to undress her?! The fabric slid down her body; exposing more of her to him until she let gravity do the work, and the light, soft nightdress pooled to the floor. He bit his lip trying to hold his groan in. And he had to give himself a minute; affording her to look back shyly over her shoulder to see him fighting the urge to storm over and throw her straight on the bed right now. In both the low torch light and the glow of the moon every single definition of her body was beautiful, where there were flaws – she was flawless. Her muscles were toned and defined by years of being a Shield Maiden, and no woman he had ever been with had that. The Sheriff relived himself of his jacket, and made his way slowly over to her. He had to be careful; he’d seen the flicker in her eyes as she turned away from him once more. She was scared – he’d already guessed she may have never done this before… She reached up and pulled the fastenings from her hair, letting it tumble down her back in gorgeous waves. He was feet from her now. He watched the tense shiver that ran up her body as he unsnapped the clasp on his overshirt. Sliding that off he threw it over the back of his chair. Wil closed the gap between them, winding his arms around her body; he felt her tense again as he pulled her back against his chest… He breathed her in, placing his forehead gently to the back of hers. “Shhh…” his voice was soothing as he hushed her. He could feel her heart pounding in her chest. “…I promise… It will be alright… I’m going to take you slow… Ok?” He brushed her hair over her shoulder, kissing her exposed neck gently… “Nice and slow…” She shivered again, but he could tell this was a different kind of shiver. “Y/N…” He said her name softly “…Do you trust me…?” “…Yes…” Her voice waivered with emotions she was feeling for the first time. “Good girl…” He turned her towards him; but kept his eyes on her face, she was looking away from him; “No… No… Don’t… Don’t be embarrassed.” Her eyes met his under his authoritative tone “…You have nothing to be embarrassed about…” His eyes told her to trust him again as he traced her body again; My God…To lie with her for the rest of his life? William at least hoped he was keeping the smirk off his face. This was uncharted territory for any man… He wanted to keep it that way. He looked back to her eyes; her chest was rising and falling fast with the deep breaths she was taking; “Y/N…” He tilted her head so she looked back to him; “You are a Goddess amongst men who would have NO idea what to do with you…” He moved her hands to the opening of his undershirt; “…I am a mere mortal too… But I promise you… I will take care of you like no other man.” She seemed to understand, even if she didn’t seem to quite register it, she undid the few fastenings, and he pulled it over his own head, gathering her to him again, now his skin was against hers it made her burn on contact. He could feel her heart beating in anticipation through his skin and he ran his hands over her; careful where he made contact he leant in and she accepted his kiss. Tentatively, but with encouragement from him she ran her fingers up his arms, his chest; he wasn’t muscular like a warrior, (she’d seen her fair share of shirtless men) but he was lean; he’d been through militaristic style training at the very least. Likely too old to see a battlefield now, he might have seen a few in his time – even if they weren’t out in open warfare. He could hold her tight; and she felt safe. He could protect her, and he made her feel like he would keep all his promises. He began to move her gently towards the bed; one of his hands between them undoing his trousers. She whimpered as he left her lips; “Shhh… Shhh… I promise you, my darling, it will all be okay…” Wil kicked his boots off before lifting her up onto the bed, allowing her to get comfortable before he joined her, pulling her body back into his he kept on kissing her, he ran his hands up and down her body with varying pressure, attempting to test her. This was more than not knowing what she liked; she didn’t even know what she liked yet. He was already getting a good idea from what she was trying to hold back; from him or from herself he wasn’t sure. “Don’t.” He was commanding again “Don’t hold anything back. This is natural, Y/N. I want to make you feel better than you’d think possible to feel. I can only do that if you let me hear you… Darling, it’s okay to let yourself go. There is noone but us here…” The Sheriff got a kick out of how responsive she was to him telling her this – he worked his trousers off with minimal effort and pulled her closer; he wasn’t even sure of the last time he had had this with anyone. He had certainly been a lot younger. Wil showered her with kisses; every inch of her body he could reach he worshiped. She had closed her eyes to him; but the sighs coming of her lips; his name… his real name. He didn’t think he’d ever heard anyone ever say it that way; the way it caught with her accent, with the way her breath was hitching in pleasure. He stopped kissing her for a minute to just look at her, almost in awe… When she opened her eyes again they were hazy. She caught his, a clear point of focus, the blue a few shades darker to match his aura. She became aware of his hot breath against her skin, his fingertips applying gentle pressure as they danced across her ribcage; “Say that again…” She blinked, say what? She didn’t say anything near a coherent sentence; not in English anyway. His face changed, adoration in his eyes as he smiled; “Say my name… say it again… Just like that.” He pressed a kiss to her stomach. Moving his hands over her skin to her thighs; smoother than silk, pale and delicate as the falling snow from where she hailed to juxtapose her long dark hair. She moved her hands over his, to his shoulders and through his hair. Her breath caught again as he continued to kiss lower on her body. She could feel the blush that crept over her face, down her neck and didn’t stop there. Heat was beginning to pool in places she didn’t think possible and she had to close her eyes again, and bite back a groan as his fingers began to trace her inner thighs. She offered resistance to him pushing her legs apart and she twisted under him for just a minute. Wil moved and kissed her face lightly; “I am not going to hurt you… Not intentionally.” He knew that it could likely hurt her, but that would never be his aim. “I promise you, I know what I’m doing…” then he laughed lightly, “Well... I guess you didn’t need me to tell you that…” She nodded, kissing him back – she let it linger just long enough as his hands moved back to her thighs she parted her legs for him. “…You are gorgeous… Y/N… I have never beheld something as beautiful as you…” He whispered it against her skin as he kissed her again and moved back down her body. “I will worship you, as you deserve.” She let out a gasp, and something akin to an electric jolt as if she had been struck by lightning ran through her body causing it to arch. She placed her hand over her mouth in embarrassment but she couldn’t stop herself from groaning again. He chuckled slightly; “That’s my girl… That’s my good girl…” He almost purred it and that wasn’t helping. She sighed as he moved his fingers again to her sweet-spot (not that she would know a hell of a lot about that), but it made her cry out in an entirely different way and she could feel static building like nothing she had ever known. She was responding so well to everything he was doing it made him almost proud of her. He wondered how much of this she had explored for herself. She was as much of a princess as he was. She’d already let him know if she wasn’t fighting with her brothers, she was hanging out with them. Females didn’t often factor into her life aside from her sisters and her mother (and the occasional other shield maiden she’d mention). But he couldn’t imagine a girl like her wasn’t at least curious. Although now wasn’t the time to worry about that. She was sweet, and hot and she was going to feel so good that he almost lost his mind just thinking about it. But she was shy; and he knew she was desperate to hold herself back because she was self-conscious. Not in spite of him… He continued his movements, taking her hand in his free one he laced their fingers and began kissing trails back up her body. Her breaths became laboured and short; her groans pitched in and out and he knew she was too close to the edge for her own liking; given to how hard she was squeezing his hand, and the way her other had tangled in the sheets; her knuckles almost white. He slid his fingers out of her to a whine. It was desperate and wanton, and he had her right where he wanted her as he tasted her. He groaned to himself then, God… She’s just perfect… and she’s all YOURS… Wil kissed her again, rougher; taking her other hand, he pinned them above her head and didn’t let her lips go. He ground his hips into her; making her body arch into his and he swallowed her groans. She sounded so damn desperate for him. She even whined when he stopped kissing her. She wanted all of him, all over her. As much contact as was humanly possible. And all he seemed to be doing was pulling away from her. He forced her hips wider with his legs; and pressed his forehead to hers; “Tell me you trust me.” “I trust you.” She said it without hesitation “Tell me you want this.” “I want you.” He pushed into her gently; hating the way she cried out in pain… grateful he knew it wouldn’t last. He waited on her; he’d wait as long as it would take. Until her eyes were not squeezed shut quite so tight. She opened them and said something in Norse. He tilted his head; questioning. He knew he’d have to learn her language if he ever wanted to know her completely. And he did. She smiled, winding her legs around his to pull him further into her body; slipping her hands out of his she caressed his face, running her fingers back up into his hair and then down his chest; where they rested over his heart – not racing like hers, but calm, steady. A safe place. She repeated it, in English “We are one.”

 **

When she woke she was surprised to find he was still there. The shutters for the windows were still wide open, and they threw the morning sunlight all over the room. Upon closer inspection the bedsheets where white and blue, not grey… but close enough… She rolled herself onto her back for a moment, and let out a breath; no doubt she ached in places she’d never ached before. But she knew it was a good kind of ache… It’d get better; it must get better, that was the only explanation for her large number of siblings… It wasn’t that the night was unpleasant, far from it. It just wasn’t exactly what she had expected. She placed her arms against her forehead; thinking too fantastically would never allow her to live out a fantasy with him if she didn’t let herself go. She was still too scared to… Wil wound his arms around her and pulled her into him, opening his eyes; “You stayed?” “…I would have asked you the same thing… Sir…” “No no no, do not call me Sir here… Not here…” he mumbled, stroking her hair from her face; “Not unless I specifically instruct you to.” What!? She decided right now she’d rather not know; or was she simply too curious…? “Oh… I’m sorry.” He chuckled, “Don’t be sorry either…” He kissed her face, down her neck, into her shoulder. And everything she felt last night threatened to come flooding back, she gasped against the travel of his kisses, his arms were so strong she also couldn’t wriggle out of his grip. Was he going to have last night on repeat?! She could feel the Sheriff smirk against her skin as she struggled; how her grazed his tongue and his teeth over her skin and made her sigh, her sighs turned to groans and she stopped resisting him wrapping her arms around his neck as he continued to kiss her. But his hands never threatened to wander anywhere else. “Alas…” he whispered into her neck “I wish I could stay here all day… Duty calls… It will be Sunday service soon…” Church. Of course. Trust the religion of this country to pull him away from her “…Although…” he thought on it; propping himself up on his elbow, “I would like you to accompany me…” Her hazel eyes held his gaze for a moment; curiously “Me? To a service? To your church?” “…You said you didn’t understand my religion… I concur, I believe you will understand it more than most. And be much more of a believer than half of those already there… So… Will you?” “…I…” she looked away from him for a minute “…If you wish it…” “I wish it only if you wish to come…” “…I would like to.” “…Hmmm…Then it will be an honour to have you there…” He kissed her again; chaste but full of promises on her lips. *** The Sheriff started towards the carriage, almost ecstatic that she would be accompanying him to Church today. William needed that more than she would ever know… And he could show her off to the Church too. HA! You were all wrong all along! But he noticed that she stopped shy of the steps down, he turned, a clearly worried look on his face. He was asking her not to change her mind now – anything but that. After what they had just shared, anything but leaving him here with this feeling. As if I haven’t done to her so many times… She half turned towards the stables “Can we ride?” “Ride?” His eyebrow quirk was inquisitive as he slowly ascended back to her “Yes… Ride. You and I. Side by side, it shouldn’t be too long a trip.” “…You want to ride to the church? Through the streets?” There was a knowing smile on her face, he was worried about what would happen to him. “Am I not charged with protecting you, Sheriff?” “And yet I am worried for your safety.” Her shrug was gentle; “Marcus and I have detailed these streets ourselves. I should be ready to take over from Lucian soon enough.” He took a step back and his mouth pressed into a thin line; he wasn’t sure how he felt about her putting herself in danger like that without his knowledge; “Why didn’t you tell me this?!” “I just did.” Those hazel eyes almost pricked annoyance at his question and he held his tongue from chiding her. He wasn’t about to ruin this. “Besides…” She turned fully, taking his hand gently in hers “Vesper is a gorgeous horse.” His laugh was nearly silent; “He is.” “Then ride him.” She liked that smile, the simplicity of it. Like the Sheriff was reliving every previous riding memory in his head. Like it was just them living in the moment. “Yes…” He bowed his head with the same gentleness of his voice “My Lady, let us ride.”

--- January written smut holding to writing standard nicely! @dennismitchell @happyskywhale @wltz-bby #MendoTagSquad.

#Ben Mendelsohn #Robin Hood 2018 #sheriff of nottingham #Sheriff x Reader #Sheriff of Nottingham x Reader #Maren blessed me with Lyrics #Or else /Take it from me/ also works for him chasing her down corridors... #Maybe next time ;) #79! #Loraina #I gave it another 2000 words of nonsense to literally not make it /the smut chapter/ #and yet I LOVE what I gave it! #I realised I mentioned something in part six that I've made a direct link with here #and that makes me SO happy #BW3 #now I've done it you can't yell at me #But now should be the time I mention that over this week I've posted your top 3 Mendo BAEs

[gcllys]

i think i just saw giselle epstein looking down at their phone in the middle of lecture hall . i wonder if they think that will help them get through their animal behavior major . i’m sure professor baker doesn’t mind , though , especially since gilly can be so + ebullient . then again , she can be a little - boisterous , so maybe prof b will mind after all . what do you think is catching their attention all of a sudden ? surely it can’t be more pictures of cotton candy skies . hey , you know , sometimes they really remind me of ALLOWING YOURSELF TO DROWN IN OTHERS FOR THE SENSATION OF BEING WANTED, UNCONTROLLABLE GIGGLES LACED WITH PEACH FLAVORED VODKA, SUN KISSED SKIES MELTING INTO CRAZED OCEANS, MOONLIGHT DANCING IN HAZEL ORBS , but maybe that’s just me . oh well . i hope their second year is treating them well ! 

i’m currently laid out on the beach, so please remember this as you read this ugly formatted introduction asdj !! ’m going to keep this as simple and sweet as i can considering introductions and me are not what some people would call compatible. i’m gi(anna), eighteen, who goes by the she and her pronouns !! i’m absolutely terrible at talking about myself but i’m absolutely excited to be jumping into this group with all of you and your breathtaking muses .. giselle is a combination of a few old muses of mine, and i’m pretty excited to explore her in ways i never got the chance to .. so without farther rambling, if you want to dig deeper into her please keep on reading :

. ◞  ‧  *  𝖎. 𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖎𝖈𝖘  .    ⁎  ∘  ヽ

full name : giselle ambria epstein 

nickname(s) : gilly, gigi

birthday : november fourth

zodiac : scorpio

moral alignment : chaotic neutral

gender : cisfemale

pronouns : she and her

sexual orientation : heterosexual

romantic orientation : heteroromantic

height : five ft five

language(s) spoken : english, italian, and a decent amount of spanish

. ◞  ‧  *  . 𝖎𝖎. 𝖆𝖊𝖘𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖙𝖎𝖈𝖘  .    ⁎  ∘  ヽ

allowing  yourself  to  drown  in  others  for  the  sensation  of  being  wanted  ,  uncontrollable  giggles  laced  in  peach  flavored  vodka  ,  sun  kissed  skies  melting  into  crazed  oceans,soft melodies singing you to sleep , moonlight dancing in hazel eyes , baby pink acrylic nails tapping softly on hard surfaces , sweet vanilla lingering in the air , fingertips dancing over bare honey dipped skin , pink glossy lips parting into a gentle smile.

. ◞  ‧  *  . 𝖎𝖎𝖎. 𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖘𝖔𝖓𝖆𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖞 .    ⁎  ∘  ヽ

to lurking eyes the brunette tends to catch ditzy vibes and shallow tendencies, her image painting her in an self absorbed , “ you’re even in an sorority, wow shocking ” light. and usually labels such as those, tend to hold some kind of truth. for why would they occur if not? but when it comes to gisella, there’s more that meets the eye. she is ebullient in human, is devoured by an ocean of light heartedness and good intentions . she happens to be an energy that you can not help but want to lose yourself in ? her boisterous chatter in the sea of cheerleaders is an melody to your ears and when the sun disappears her giggles laced with peach vodka lingers in the air , the sound itself intoxicating. she herself is intoxicating .. whether it’s her light in your lungs or her darkness around your throat : the sensation is enchanting. she strives to be good, to be kind, to be caring .. but, she is at that grown age where she’s learning that she will not always be kind nor understanding nor selfless and thats okay. she so badly wants to live the life she was granted, that she tends to push worries and fear aside and do things that make her blood rush . she enjoys the memories that drunk nights give her, charmed by the loud house party music, is in love with living a little recklessly .. she’s show me how fast this car can go and i bet you wont jump kind of soul. she is compassionate, she is someone who will throw herself in crazed oceans to save you , but she also believes in loving herself and being kind to herself . and so, she tries not to drown for everyone . she is fiercely loyal, and loves being with people ? attaches herself on to others almost as if she doesnt make an impact on other lives she’ll slowly fade away. passionate, she feels the world around her on a level that most do not understand . but it tends to make her scattered ? she can ride the highs but sometimes she has to ride the lows too. she is a lover, will give you her all .. will always put the effort and time in. it makes her affectionate, she likes small touches .. hugs and hand holding . not just romantically but platonically too. she is not completely soft though, and kindness is not a weakness . she’s her mothers daughter, and with that comes a sense of stubborn , jealousness , finickiness , and carelessness . she can be hard to understand , hard to please .. she can be hurtful, even selfish sometimes . no matter how hard she tries to push it out.

. ◞  ‧  *  . 𝖎𝖛. 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖈𝖆𝖓𝖓𝖔𝖓𝖘 .    ⁎  ∘  ヽ

she comes from a family of six, including her biological father, step mother who has always felt more like her biological mother than anything, her sibling from both of her biological parents, and her two half siblings.

the relationship she carries with each of them are insanely special, and go beyond the cliches of resentment.

she considers her step mother to be her mother, and will call her mom and/or mommy. she was thrown into her care at the age of five, and being that young and having years ahead of her with this women who genuinely and full heartedly cared and loved her it was not hard to fall in love with her back.

her three siblings are the three people in her life that, has really help shaped her and filled with world with light. sometimes, she cannot wrap her head around the fact that for five years she did not know they existed. the though saddens her, mostly because now she cannot picture even her simple days without them.

she does not speak of her birth mother, nor does know where she’s at or what she’s doing. she refuses any contact with her, and mostly tries to pretend the first five years of her life was a blur.

which for the most part it was, she was still insanely young. and while she had the ability to understand the vague concept of the matter: her mother no longer wanting her. she was a young child.

but her experience with the event left wounds on her that are not always vocal, being abandoned at a young age clearly had its impact on her and the way she functioned. especially with personal relationships. she’s at the point in her life where she’s either latching on to people with fear spilling out of her that they might leave, or constantly pushing people away so they never have a chance to leave.

 her mother and father were sweethearts of college, marrying after three years and falling insanely in love. her mother had always been certain she didn’t want kids, and so when she fell pregnant she slowly fell apart? she did not have the heart to rid the baby from her, and so she kept it. she loved her first born, but she was unfit. slowly becoming someone people couldn’t recognize. giselle’s father tried his best, but when his efforts failed he put him and his child first and left. the only problem was, that his ex wife was pregnant. and she decided to keep this baby out of spite, regardless of knowing that she couldn’t care for it.

 her step mother had been adopted by a family in italy when she was a baby, and it’s a place her and the kids constantly go. for, every single summer was spent there. and her parents? without questions, without hesitation accepted giselle like she was their own.

built on a personality of constantly needing people surrounding her, joining a sorority made her feel like home regardless of being away from home. and sigma kappa had seemed to be a perfect match for her : fueling the need to feel like she’s a living breathing human being.

she has always been drawn to animals but when it comes down to narrowing them out she fully wants to work with dogs.. hoping to one day run her own shelter, organization that helps them and of course other animals in need. collecting the abandoned, the neglected, and the unloved and presenting them with what they deserve.

she had four dogs through her childhood, three of whom are still remaining. they are fully the reason she had been triggered to want to work so closely to them. but it definitely cuts deeper than just that.

she is someone who has to constantly apply herself to get the results she wants, and school is the biggest department that shines through. she’s smart, but the effort is necessary. she needs to spend hours with her head in books, needs to take the time to do her assignments, notes. school never came naturally to her.

but sports did, throughout her life she played a handful. soccer, field hockey, volleyball, softball: but the one that truly stuck was cheerleading and it’s something she continues to do. it’s a passion of hers that can never die no matter how much she wants it to sometimes. she loves the sensation it brings her. the fact that it presents her an escape route. she doesn’t mind the hard work, the hours of practicing, the sore muscles and headaches from her hair being pulled too tight. the bumps and the cuts, it’s worth it.

her home is key west florida, and so the years after her mom left her .. she spent a lot of her time near the ocean. of course this is default of living right on it, but in simple terms it kind of brings her a sense of peace?? ocean waves remind her of childhood, her parents, siblings, brings a warm and cozy feeling. when she can’t sleep, she’d find herself sitting in the sand just watching the waves in the moonlight. when she needed inspiration? she’d take in the cotton candy sunsets and let them flow through her.

she has a lot of small talents, but one she recently decided to put more energy in is her singing. she always, for the longest time carried around her song journal. the pages being filled with song lyrics and small doodles .. it was kind of like her diary? and putting words together to make some sort of beautiful poetry not only excited her but kept her grounded. she has now recently started acting bringing these songs together and so far? she’s just having a blast with it. it’s a aspect of her life she’s fully down to explore.

. ◞  ‧  *  . 𝖛. 𝖈𝖔𝖓𝖓𝖊𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘 .    ⁎  ∘  ヽ

platonic soulmate, girl squad, teammates, friends, best friends, ex best friends, friends with benefits, ex friends with benefits, hate ship, one night stand(s), failed relationship, almost relationship, good influence, bad influence, flirtationship, unlikely friends, family friends, frenemies, childhood friends, slow burn, confidant(s), ex fling, tutors, hardly related cousin, cousins, sibling like friendship, toxic friendship, forbidden romance, love/hate relationship, fake relationship, first loves, ex lover, toxic relationship, on and off relationship. 

#powellhqs.intro #. ◞ ‧ * 𝖌𝖎𝖘𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖊 𝖊𝖕𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖎𝖓 . ⁎ ∘ ヽ 𝔁𝓲𝓲. out of character

[annachronistic]

The Bird That Cannot Change

Éponine felt trapped.  She and her family lived a life of poverty and crime, one that the children were forced into.  Her father had no love for any of his children at all, seeing them only as pawns in various futile schemes to con people.  Éponine was the only one who was not afraid to defy him, probably because she did not care what bad things would happen to her, or even if she lived or died.  Yet she wanted out so badly, wishing that somehow things would get better, no matter how it may come to pass.

She was a pathetic thing to look at too: less than a meter and a half tall with an emaciated frame, tattered clothing, and a few missing teeth.  That day, she had gotten in a fight with her father where he slammed her head against a wall, causing her to lose yet another tooth.  She knew that she was ugly and that there was nothing she could do about it.

But there was one thing that she could do: become a better person on the inside.  She was not bad because she wanted to be bad, but because she had to.  Because of this, she had an epiphany and felt obligated to make amends with others, one last chance to change and be a good person. And the stolen letter she was carrying with her prompted her to find the first person she needed to apologize to: Cosette.

~~

She saw her later that day headed towards the garden at Parc Monceau.  The girl had made a triumphant comeback since the last time Éponine saw her as the unpaid, abused child-worker at the inn.  Éponine was nervous, to say the least.  It was risky business indeed—the girl may or may not even remember her.

“Cosette, wait up!” Éponine said, running to catch up to her, trying to get her attention.  Cosette turned around and saw her waving at her with a piece of paper in her hand.

“Do I know you?” Cosette asked her.  This was not looking good so far.

“Um, I am Éponine, the girl that was sent to deliver letters between you and Marius,” Éponine explained, eyes downcast.

“Oh, that is right,” Cosette recalled.

“I am sorry for stealing your letter.  I still have it and have not yet given it to Marius.”

“Oh, his lodgings are probably too far away for you to get to,” Cosette said.

“No.  I withheld the letter for more...personal reasons,” Éponine admitted.

“You dislike him?” Cosette asked.  Éponine shook her head.

“You dislike me?”

“No,” Éponine said.

“You fancied him yourself?”

“Yes. In the past I did, but now I have all but given up.  And by ‘the past’, I mean five hours ago.  It was the insanely futile odds that made me abandon the idea of ever being with him.  It’s about as likely as me wrestling a bear and winning,” Éponine mustered a chuckle.

“It is absolutely ridiculous of me to believe that anyone would love a low-life gamine like me.  I was envious of you, someone who is intelligent, beautiful, and kind-hearted.  And in a selfish act I stole the letter to intercept it from Marius.  I really am truly sorry.”

“That is okay.  I forgive you.”

“Thank you so much,” Éponine said.  “Now I must apologize to you for other things and be on my way to make amends to other people.”

“Wait,” said Cosette.  “Before you do that, I would like to know the context of this.  Who are you?”

“A homeless woman in a gang,” Éponine said curtly.  “Not by my own choice.”

“Almost every city has a school or a convent where nuns help the poor.  Perhaps your parents could move you to a more remote place with lower crime,” Cosette suggested.  “Don’t give up so easily.  It gets better.”

“No, it doesn’t,” Éponine countered.  “I am afraid that nothing can actually be done.  Any ways of fixing my life are purely hypothetical”

“Then what, hypothetically, would improve your situation?” Cosette asked.

"My parents actually loving me and my siblings.  Freedom from crime.  Perhaps even good looks could augment things.  If I weren’t so hideous, people would stop taunting me for being ugly. Maybe more people would love me and not judge me.  Hell, if I were as pretty as you, everyone'd love me."

“But what does that guarantee?” Cosette asked, confused.  "Being pretty is not an accomplishment and adds nothing of substance to who an individual is."

“I would disagree with that,” Éponine countered.  “If you are well off enough to take good care of yourself in order to be pretty, then that is an accomplishment!”

“Hm, I never thought of it that way,” Cosette said.

“In this day and age, beauty is a major reason why women are loved.  I would go so far as to say that it is almost a prerequisite for being loved.  And when Marius treated me slightly better than what I was used to, I mistook that for love.  It cannot be love because I am hideous.”

“Please don't call yourself hideous,” Cosette said.

“Okay, I won't,” Éponine said, although she knew she would be lying to herself.  “Can you do me a favor, Cosette?” Éponine asked.

“Yes, what is it?”

“I know that this seems counterintuitive, but next time you see Marius, wear something ugly.”

“Wait, what?” Cosette laughed in disbelief.

“I told you it would seem stupid!” Éponine laughed.  “But it’ll prove if he really loves you as a person.  If he is disappointed that you aren’t as good-looking, then you should find someone else.  Seriously.  Love that is conditional on things that don’t last long such as wealth and beauty is a reason why many people get left.”

“That is an interesting social experiment that you propose,” said Cosette.  “I’m open to do it, as I believe I am strong enough to handle rejection.”

“Rejection?  It’ll be a walk in the park for you.  He fell for you so quickly that none of this really matters.  Now that I think of it, this is more of a practical joke to pull on Marius than genuine relationship advice.”

“That is brilliant though.  I’m still going to do it.  I’ll put on my best acting chops, wear something drab, and cover some of my teeth with raisins.  I’ll even make up an elaborate story about my papa losing all his money.”

“Splendid,” Éponine said.

“Why don’t you conduct this social experiment yourself, Éponine?  You might find someone who loves you for who you are.”

“I seriously doubt that.  I have no money, no friends, no hope for the future.  I am past the point of no return and this is it for me.” Éponine declared.

“What do you mean ‘this is it’?” Cosette asked, somewhat worried.

“I mean that this is the end.  I do not have much time left—I’ll most likely starve to death or get murdered within the next year.  I’m trying to stay here as long as possible for Gavroche and Azelma, but the fact is that I am going to die soon.”

There was a long period of awkward silence as Éponine stared into the distance and Cosette looked at the ground.  Éponine knew that her life was over, yet she did not cry.  Cosette sighed.

“You’re scaring me, Éponine,” Cosette said.

“I’m sorry.  I did not mean to do that.”

“It just haunts me to see someone give up just like that,” Cosette said.

“But giving up can also be freeing, as if you are giving up a burden that has weighed you down.  An uncaged bird is still a free bird, even if it has broken wings,” Éponine said.

“I can somewhat see that,” Cosette nodded.

“You know, one thing that annoyed me about Marius was that he kept on forgetting that I could read,” Éponine smiled and shook her head.  “I know it seems trivial, but that hurt me, the assumptions that people make.  I am being judged for something that is essentially out of my control.  I know that he is a well-intentioned person, but he still looks down on me.”

“Perhaps you could write him an apology letter to show him that you can write,” said Cosette.

“Writing a letter is a good idea indeed, but he’ll think I went to a transcriber. Because that is the way society works.  The Brahmin and the untouchable cannot coexist as equal members of society, nor can the untouchable ever become a Brahmin.  I cannot hate Marius because of this simple fact of life.   It is not his fault.  He did not make the rules, he merely follows them.  He will not change and neither will I.  I had an epiphany that I should make the most out of what little I have left of life instead of wasting time on things that will never change, like this pointless revolution that these students are planning.  I had a plan once, I sure did, but it went to shit.  A plan to escape almost a decade of destitution and crime.  You see, the only way for a woman to be well-off is to have rich parents or to marry someone rich.  My father hates me, so the only way for my ‘plan’ to work was by marriage.   My siblings would all move in with me and my future husband.  We would all live together happily and never see my father again.  I had this stupid fantasy about being a hero for my family, and now I’m rambling like a madman to a girl I was supposed to apologize to!”

“Wanting to help your family is not stupid,” said Cosette.  “And it is good to get things off your chest sometimes.  Why can’t you become a hero and make your dreams come true?”

“Because life ain’t a dream, Cosette.  I hate reality, but I will not deny it.”

“You seem bitter,” Cosette said.

“I am bitter.  But I’ve no right to complain because I deserve this.  Perhaps this is karma for how awfully I treated you,” she said, her voice breaking.

“I do not understand,” Cosette said.  “I have never met you in my life.”

“You have.  Nine years ago.  That inn in Montfermeil where my parents forced you to work and beat you if you didn’t work fast enough, and sometimes for no reason at all.  And I would just sit there and laugh and play with the toys my mother gave me.  I copied my parents before knowing how awful they truly were.  Not once did I try to intervene and help you.”

“That was you?” Cosette’s eyes widened.

“Yes.  Me and my sister.”

“I can’t remember you clearly though,” said Cosette.  “The only two people I distinctly remember were the fat lady and the toddler.  He did not like it there and neither did I.  I guess your memory becomes hazy when you force yourself to forget things.  I miss my mother.”

Éponine put an arm around Cosette.  She remembered her parents’ exchanges with Cosette’s mother and how they continually lied to her.  They made it seem that they needed more money than they actually did, fabricating a story about Cosette being ill.  Once she died and the money stopped coming, they resented Cosette even more.  She did not know exactly what happened to Cosette’s mother, but something told her that her parents had some connection to her death.

“She would sing to me,” said Cosette.  “At some point, she would call me by my middle name.  Was it Eugenia, Eunice, Euphrasie?  My memories of her are good, but few and far between.”

“You will see her again when the time comes,” said Éponine.

“You were right about the world being a cruel place,” Cosette sighed.

“Cosette, you are one of the most resilient people I know.  Now I know why you try to stay positive and encourage me to do the same: because things did get better for you,” Éponine realized.

From the outside, it seemed that Cosette was the bourgeoise girl who had it all.  The average person would not look at her today without context and think “this person is resilient”.  But Éponine knew different.

“You are so very different from when I last saw you,” Éponine said, awestruck.  “How did you...” Éponine began.

“How did I what?” Cosette prompted.

“Uh, never mind.  It’s not important.”

“I must be on my way now, Cosette.  I wish you the best of luck,” Éponine said, walking away.  “Be careful.  Strive to be happy.”

“You too, Éponine.  I guess I will see you again soon then,” said Cosette.

“No, you won’t.”

#les miserables #fanfic #fanfiction #that's what i get for watching bojack horseman #that episode #where bojack and sarah lynn go around making amends #eponine is bojack #and cosette is mr. peanutbutter #also i copied #lynyrd skynyrd #in the title #eponine #cosette #marius #gavroche #azelma #the thenardiers #depression #classism #memory loss #sexism #free bird #music references #animal symbolism

[clownsgobeepbeep]

014.

14.)Can’t get out of the building

With a break from the Mafia AU , we go back to our OG universe in the future...

I was going to add something else to this, but decided to keep it out for another fic

After having received a letter delivered by a small bird, Atlas was a little more relieved if he was being honest with himself. The letter was from Ula, handwritten as he recognized her writing and flowery scent coming off it, so things were finally looking better after their last conversation. In the letter, she requested that he meet her in the woods after she was done with her band practice, so that was where Atlas went once the time came.

The deer clown walked around as he heard leaves and twigs crunching beneath his shoes, scanning the area as birds were heard singing and there was a soft breeze all around. Atlas stretched his arms out as he was careful not to drop the latte in his hand before he lowered his hands once again, continuing on his way before stopping as he came across a large building.

It looked like an abandoned cottage alright, so that meant he just had to wait for Ula now. And then, a sweet flowery scent hit Atlas’ nose  meaning that she was already there, and Atlas playfully rolled his eyes as he walked towards it, making sure the letter was still in his pocket. However, it never left his mind that he had never seem this cottage before.

“Is anybody home?” he called into the empty home, only hearing the ancient planks creak beneath him with every step he took. Atlas continued walking deeper into the building, looking everywhere for Ula who he guessed must have been hiding from him. Trying to scare him as always.

“Does a Shortcake happen to be somewhere around here?”

That’s when he heard a giggle that was Ula’s so he sneaked over to a room close to him. He peeked inside the room, catching a quick glance of long blonde hair which made him smirk before he jumped into the room.

“I found you!”

“Oh, you sure did.” came Ula’s voice as Atlas now saw her, and she held a hand on her lips as she gave a giggle. “I thought that you wouldn’t end up coming, Bambi.~”

“Did you think I would get scared or something?”

“Maybe.~”Ula asked as she placed her hands onto Atlas’ chest, giggling once again while fluttering her eyelashes. “But I also thought that Basil would scare you on the way here.”

“What?”Atlas furrowed his eyebrows before feeling Ula pull herself away, giving a snap of her hands as Atlas heard something creak behind him. He turned and slightly flinched at the loud sound of the bedroom door shutting, this being due to a hand that slammed it shut.

“I thought we would be...”Atlas turned back to Ula who reached up to grab her hair that, starting from the top, turned into an orange color as her eyeshadow disappeared and blue markings under her eyes turned into purple curved-like triangles with a yellow circle. “...alone.”

“Good afternoon Atlas.~”spoke Ula with a giggle, though it was no longer her voice as she completely changed into a shorter figure, one Atlas recognized as being Flora, with Basil behind him and in front of the door.

“No...I, I gotta go-”

“There’s no leaving here Atlas.”Flora fluttered her eyelashes while fixing her gloves, then turning to look at Basil. “You can move from the door, you know.”

“After what you guys did last time, I don’t want to talk to either of you.”

“Oh don’t worry, Basil won’t talk.”

“Where’s Ula?”

“Oh please.”Flora looked over at Basil who continued staring at Atlas. “You really didn’t think Ula sent you a handwritten letter, did you? The last letter she wrote like that was to somebody else who actually sent letters to her.”

“I’m not hearing any of this.” Atlas shook his head before turning and heading towards the door, being slightly startled as one of Basil’s green claws slammed itself on it. “Let me through, I am not afraid of either of you.”

“Basil, let him go.” Flora smiled before Basil retrieved his hand, Atlas watching it slither behind him which made him even more nervous than he already was. He turned back to the door, turning the doorknob as he now opened it. However, his eyes widened at the sight of razor sharp teeth and a long, slithering tongue before he shut the door in a panic.

“What the hell was that thing!?”

“Excuse you, that was Twoey.”Flora rolled her eyes as she spoke in a matter-of-fact-y tone. “They’re there making sure you don’t leave of course.”

“A giant...whatever it is! That thing, you think nobody’s going to notice that!?”

“Oh posh Atlas, nobody ever really notices a pocket dimension that exists inside a little girl’s basket.”Flora giggled as Atlas’ eyes widened. “But the point here is, we brought you over because we want to talk. And talk only.”

“If I listen and am not treated like last time, will you let me go?”

“Of course.” Flora nodded before Basil snapped his fingers, chairs appearing behind him and his sister which they sat down on. At the same time, another appear behind Atlas before it moved behind him, making him fall back on it as he now sat in front of the siblings, divided by a table full with a tea set as Flora served.

“Tea?”

“No thanks.”

“Hm, your loss.”she shrugged before taking her teacup. “Mother makes the best teas ever, she’s practically a witch with what she adds to them.”

“What do you guys want with me?” Atlas interrupted as he glared at the siblings, though he knew he was no match against Basil’s expression that never ceased.

“Well, first of, we want to say that we no doubt started on the wrong foot. Especially with Basil being petty to you since the day you met those many years ago.” Flora started before taking a sip from her tea. “And we have been treating you rather badly.”

“Yeah, thanks for telling me. I never realized that.”

“Anyways. Our point here is that we wanted to...well, let me say this before anything. My brother and I have a certain goal that we hope to achieve, no matter what we must do.”

“Okay, and what does this have to do with me?”

“Now, that’s the thing. It doesn’t, but you’re in the way.” Flora stated before Atlas furrowed his eyebrows. “And don’t even try reading our minds, we’re so far past those funny party tricks.”

“What’s-”

“Our goal we will not share.”Flora interrupted Atlas who frowned a little deeper. “But, I can tell you that as we attempt to reach it, we don’t want anymore...conflicts.”

“Okay.”

“So, we want to apologize.”

Atlas’s eyes widened as he stared at Flora and then Basil, shaking his head as he tried to comprehend what was just said.

“Wait, what?”

“We want to apologize.”Flora repeated before Atlas checked the teacup he had been offered, realizing it was still full.

“You guys didn’t do anything weird to me, right? I mean, besides putting me in a pocket dimension with some creature making sure I don’t get out.”

“No, Atlas. We want to apologize to you, unless you don’t want it nor the truce we offer.”

“No, tell me.”

“Well as I’ve already said three times, we want to offer you an apology for all the trouble we have brought upon you. Mother nor father never taught us to act in such a way.”Flora served herself some more tea, taking a sniff of its sweet scent. “And so, we offer a truce. You stop being a jealous deer every time Ula talks to any other person that is not from your family or friend group. You especially refrain from feeling any sort of jealousy when she talks to Schrader who she wants a friendship from. And, you stop feeling like a damn rebound, you idiot.”

Atlas’ eyes widened at Flora’s words, raising a hand to speak before she lifted a finger to silence him.

“We know how you feel about the whole situation, and we find it hurtful that you blame Ula for this.”

“Blame her!?”

“Yes, Atlas, blame her! Maybe you don’t realize it but you think to yourself,” Flora cleared her throat before her voice changed into Atlas’. “Ula didn’t tell me that her ex-boyfriend was back, I had to learn from her friends! Ula didn’t accept my comfort when she needed it, she instead went to some kids I hate! Ula didn’t tell me that she was going to go talk to her ex-boyfriend before going to him! Sound familiar?”

“I...”

“Exactly Atlas.”Flora shook her head while taking a sip from her tea before hissing at him. “So selfish. Ula doesn’t have to tell you everything she does, and she doesn’t always have to rely on you for everything. She has other friends and family, yet you feel like the top priority for being her boyfriend. Was she your priority while you were on trips with your grandfather?”

“I, no...wait, I, I don’t-”

Flora waved a hand before Atlas’ mouth was closed shut, and he struggled to open it.

“I don’t want to hear it. I just want to know, if you accept this truce. In turn, we will respect your relationship with Ula and not interfere. Though, I can’t promise Basil won’t be all over her like a baby to its mother.” Flora waved her hand once again, letting Atlas open his mouth. “Now, what about it?”

Atlas stared in between the siblings who stared at him, both radiating disturbing vibes...if they were being honest...

“And what if you do continue on with this behavior?” he asked before the siblings turned to each other, then glancing back at him.

“We’ll be out of your lives. For good.” Flora spoke, whispering the last part before she nudged Basil, and he lifted a hand towards Atlas. “Now, let’s shake on it, yes?”

Atlas squinted his eyes at Basil’s hand, slowly lifting his own and bringing it towards Basil’s. He didn’t want last time to be repeated yet, it sounded like a pretty good deal. After what seemed like hours, Atlas’ hand finally grabbed Basil’s, feeling how it was rather rough. Soon, they shook hands as Atlas gave a quiet sigh of relief.

[that-quiet-girl-who-writes]

Too Close~Part 1 (JJ.)

A/N: I meant to finish this last night, but I was really tired and I fell asleep before I could lol. Gif’s not mine.

Summary: You are a Blossom and after getting a little too close to the truth your father sends you away to a school where you can be watched.

Pairing: Jughead x Blossom!reader

Word Count: 1447

Warnings: swearing, mentions of death, a little bit of violence, 

Other Parts: Part 2-Part 3-Part 4-Part 5

Masterlist

I got too close. Too close to the truth and too far from being careful. That was why I was here. My father, Clifford Blossom, had always seen me as a disobedient, useless human being. Jason was the golden boy and Cheryl and I were the other two that hadn’t been planned. Cheryl was treated badly, but I seemed to be treated worse. It only got worse when I started dating Jughead. Before that, Cheryl and I had pretty much been on the same stress level. Careful of every move as we knew that they would only be viewed by our parents as wrong or selfish. Now I could barely look into their eyes without being told off or punished. I never told Jughead though, I didn’t need him feeling as though it was all his fault that I was being treated like a servant in my own home.

One day I was home alone, about three months after Jason’s death. I had been walking into the living room when I heard voices coming from my father’s study. I was immediately scared because I thought I had been alone, but I was “the reckless child” as my parents put it and I wanted to know who was in the house. I crept up to the door and I could hear my father’s voice along with another. I don’t remember who it was, nor do I remember what they were talking about. All I remember is pain. A hit to my head. I woke up in an unfamiliar room where i saw my father. He told me that he had talked to my mother and they had decided to send me away to a school. A school for troubled youth. He said they needed to keep an eye on me. I knew it was to make sure I didn’t go meddling in something I didn’t belong in. Something that I had no business in. The problem was, I was pretty sure that I did have business in it. I was pretty sure that whatever I didn’t remember had something to do with Jason.

I asked my mother what had happened to me and she told me that I was sick. She told me that I had experienced some sort of seizure and that I was going to need to be watched not just because of my attitude, but for medical reasons as well.  I looked her straight in the eyes and I couldn’t help but feel as though she didn’t know what she was saying. As if she didn’t know whether she was telling me the truth or not. It sounded as though she was just repeating to me what my father had told her. At that moment I wasn’t entirely sure that she trusted father very well. I thought that maybe she was too scared to do anything against him.

I was sent immediately to the school. I didn’t get anymore time at Riverdale High and I didn’t get any chance to say goodbye to any of my friends or Jughead. I didn’t even get to say goodbye to Cheryl. Somehow, she snuck out and got to my new school within the first two weeks. I was in my dorm when she found me. She burst into the room and when he saw me, she ran and hugged me. I was shocked. How had she gotten here? And without our parents knowing. I was actually impressed.

“Cheryl? What are you doing here?” I asked her as she hugged me.

“I had to see you.” she said. “Why did they send you here? Why did they just send you away without a single word to me?”

“I don’t know. Cheryl, I think something’s going on. I think Dad is hiding something, but I don't know what.”

She pulled away to look at me. “What do you mean?”

“I heard him talking to someone and I can’t remember what they were saying because I’m pretty sure one of them hit me over the head. When I woke up, Mom told me they were sending me away and that I was sick.”

“That’s what they told me. They said you blacked out and that there was something wrong with you.”

“There’s nothing wrong with me. Cheryl, I think they sent me here because I got to close to finding something out and they can’t risk me doing it again.”

She just stared at me. I could tell she was trying to make sense of everything, but even I couldn’t. It was all so complicated.

“I’m not sure if Mom knows. She seemed to just be telling me what Dad told her, but I’m so confused right now. I don’t know what’s going on. Cheryl, you need to go home. You need to be very, very careful and you need to get home before somebody figures out that you’re missing.”

“What about you?”

“I’ll be fine. They already sent me here, I don’t think they’ll do anything else.”

“...Jughead.” “What?” I furrowed my eyebrows. Since when did she and I talk about Jughead? She always avoided the subject of us dating since she didn’t approve, but knew that I was already getting shit for it from Mommy and Daddy.

“He asked me about you.” “What? What did he say?” “About two days ago. He asked me why you weren’t at school, why you weren’t answering your phone.”

“They took it from me. What did you tell him?”

“I didn’t know what to say at first. It took him a couple times, but I finally told him that you had transferred schools and that you weren’t coming back.” She said. I could see small tears starting to form in her eyes.

“I don’t know what he thinks,” she continued, “but he might be starting to question whether you’re alive or not.”

“I have to see him.” “Y/N/N, no.”

“Yes! I have to see him! He has to know that I’m okay. I can’t sit here with him thinking that I’m dead!”

“Y/N, you can’t leave! They’ll know and then something could happen to you. Something bad. I’ll tell him that you’re alright, okay?”

As much as I hated it in this little room, being monitored 24/7, I knew that she was right. I couldn’t get out without someone knowing. “Okay. Now go home before they figure out that you left.”

“Okay.” She hugged me and snuck out the door, doing god knows what she did to get in. Cheryl was feisty though, and I knew that if she wanted something, she got it.

~Cheryl’s P.O.V.~

The next day at school, Cheryl walked up to the table where Jughead, Betty, Archie, Kevin and Veronica were sitting eating lunch. Jughead’s head shot up when he saw her coming making the rest of them look over as well.

“Good morning, outcasts.” Veronica rolled her eyes, “What do you want Cheryl?”

“I have a message for Jughead.” Everyone looked over at him, confused. He seemed eager to know what it was.

“It’s from Y/N/N. She wants you to know that she’s all right and that wants to see you, but she can’t. Also, our parents took her phone, so there’s no point in trying call her.”

Jughead stared at her for a second. “I don’t believe you. Where is she?”

“I told you, she’s at a school where she can be monitored.”

“Why would she need to be watched?” “To keep her under control... and for health reasons.”

“Health reasons? She was fine the last time I saw her. What happened?”

“It’s none of your business Jones.”

“It is my damn business, she’s my girlfriend.”

“...Fine. She blacked out and when she woke up she had some tests done. She’s sick and needs to be monitored. That’s all I have to say.” Cheryl turned and began to walk away, but Jughead stood up and called after her.

“Why are you lying, Cheryl!? She isn’t sick! Your parents sent her away because they couldn’t control her and I want her back!”

She wanted to scream at him. She wanted to scream that she wanted her back too. She had already lost a sibling and she didn't’ want to loose the other. She wanted to scream that she was scared. Scared that Y/N was going to get to deep into this and end up right where Jason was. But she couldn’t. Not when she knew that if she said too much, if she told people that Y/N believed that their parents might be hiding something, she would end up putting both of them in a lot of danger.

Part 2

#jughead jones #jughead x reader #x reader #cheryl blossom #writing #riverdale #veronica lodge #betty cooper #archie andrews #kevin keller #jason blossom #too close #part 1

[fallen029]

Covert Relationship

Makarov was old, he'd given them all that. And his luck with women, albeit frequent in his youth, had never been quite everlasting. But that didn't mean that he couldn't tell a budding romance when he saw it.

And boy, did he see enough of them during his time as Master. He knew that was to be expected, of course, as there came a point when they had so many young members, children that were more or less raised by the guild. And inevitably, those children grew and began to forge their own relationships.

It was beyond his fair share of them, however, when it finally got down to the last two people he would have ever paired together.

At first, it started with a few glances between the two parties. Nothing to be concerned about. She'd always been nice to everyone around and he…well, he not quite so much, but he'd always had a soft spot for her. Then again, the guy more or less had trouble with crying and oh, she'd cry if someone treated her badly.

…Or scold them. One or the other.

So when the two of them began to talk more, he didn't think much of it, Makarov didn't. Fine, his grandson wasn't too vocal, but it was hard not to be with Mirajane. And as of late, she'd seemed to have grown even more attached to him for some reason or other. Nothing of serious interest with.

Until the touching started.

Now, Makarov had a pretty nice view of the guildhall from his seat atop the bar, where he'd usually meditate or just find peace with the goings on of his guild. The past few weeks though he'd taken more of a notice of Mirajane.

It started with the way that she constantly found a reason to bring Laxus over to the bar. He'd usually either sit with his bodyguards or off by himself. But in the past few weeks, she'd been asking him to come sit by the bar and help her with something. Once, she even literally took him by the hand and drug him over there.

It was madness.

What was worse was that Laxus let her do those things. And by things, he meant there were others.

She would randomly pat him on the arm or, even once, literally reached out while she was working at the bar to rub his hair, messing up his yellow locks. And Laxus would only grumble, but say nothing.

He'd even witnessed, more than once, her gently touching his shoulder or patting him on the head as she went about her business, walking around the guild, carrying platters of food and beer. A couple of times, Laxus had even been the one to leave a lingering touch on Mira. His hand would graze her arm or the small of her back.

And if the two of them didn't find themselves standing close to one another a lot recently. Every time there was some sort of a crisis at the guild (and honestly, when wasn't there) and everyone would gather around one another, they'd find themselves huddled up in the circle or by whatever table they had a map or book spread out across, Laxus arm just gently brushing hers usually.

The two of them seemed to think that they were being sneaky. Crafty. And perhaps they were. Perhaps he was the only one picking up on the signs. But it didn't change one single fact; his grandson was ruining one of the best things that the guild had going for it.

What was going to happen then? Huh? When Laxus and Mirajane inevitably called it quits and she left the guild high and dry? Laxus was so selfish. Who was Makarov supposed to stare at then? Erza? That wouldn't work. She was almost always in her armor at the hall. And now that they all knew Cana was Gildarts daughter, well, that just made things awkward.

No. Laxus was ruining things not only for the guild, but also Makarov. And he just couldn't take it.

Deep down he had to admit, if only to himself, that part of it was also jealousy. Mirajane was by far the person that Makarov fell back on the most and, though a lot of that had to due with her willingness to help him with the most mundane tasks around the hall, he also just found her attractive. Which there was nothing wrong with.

Up until that point. He couldn't be…gawking at his grandson's girlfriend.

Could he?

Maybe.

It was still early though, he tried to tell himself many times, to call Mira that. He truly had no idea how close the two of them were. Perhaps he was just reading too much into things. He was just a pervy old man, projecting his own fantasies of his youth on his grandson and one of the more attractive women in the guild.

Yes. That was all.

Just when he had himself nearly convinced of that, however, something new popped up.

Mira began spending her breaks down in the bookroom.

Which wouldn't have been too odd. She did spend most of the day up at the bar, in all the hustle and bustle. Some peace and quiet was probably nice.

No, the weird part was the fact that typically Laxus was soon to follow her down there.

Makarov tried to ignore it. Honest, he did. And he even avoided going down there to break it up each time it happened. Laxus took jobs so frequently that it wasn't often.

The thing that bothered him the most, really, was the way that everyone else seemed to just be oblivious to it.

For the Thunder God Tribe's obsession with Laxus and Mira's overbearing siblings as well as friends, one would think that it was all anyone could talk about. But the Thunder Legion was busy trying to impress him with their solo jobs for trial times and Mira's siblings were always off on jobs just the two of them.

No, it seemed to only be him that was interested in the love life of Laxus and Mirajane. And really, not even that. He knew that his grandson would date around with different women in Magnolia and such and, more than once, he'd had to listen to Mirajane go on and on about whatever man she was seeing at the time. And he was fine with both of those (except maybe having to listen to Mira blab about men, only because when she got started, she never knew how to shut up). Honest, he was.

It was just the thought of the two of them together that bothered him.

It wasn't until one day, after he accidentally fell asleep in his office and didn't wake up until after hours that he finally had to say something.

He could hear Mirajane, out there in the bar area still, closing up. At first he thought that she was just with one of her siblings or something as they had a habit of staying with her after hours, until the giggling started.

"-can't do that, demon," he heard his grandson grumble of the sound of her laughter. "I have a reputation to keep, you know."

"But you would just look so good in pink, Lax," the woman insisted through her giggles. "Don't you think?"

"No."

"Lax."

"If you say so, then maybe," he told her with what sounded like some laughter of his own. "But that don't mean that it's happenin'."

"You wear purple shirts."

"Purple is manly."

"Am I talking to you or my brother?"

"It is."

"You'd look great in pink, Lax. Swear."

"Yeah, well, you can keep swearin'. Don't make much of a difference to me."

More giggles. Then, "Can you go put these jewels in the safe? Please? Then we can get out off here."

"Can I? Can I?"

"Lax-"

"Of course I can. Silly demon."

Makarov felt like he was dreaming. The sound of his grandson's thick soled boots on the floor out in the hall though was very real. And, when the door to the office opened, Makarov only sat up at his desk and stared.

Laxus had about the same reaction. Just staring.

Softly, as not to alert Mirajane to his presence, Makarov said, "Close the door."

The slayer only blinked, as if in shock, before moving to do what the man said.

"I thought you were-"

"Gone?" When Laxus nodded, he said, "I don't see how me being gone would have given you the right to put moves on Mirajane."

"Put moves on? What decade is this? And, for your information, Gramps, I haven't done anything, so-"

"Dragon. Are you hurrying?" Mira was a little impatient, it seemed. "Do you remember the combination? Do I need to come-"

"No, no," he called back to her. "I got it, demon."

"Okay," she sang. "But hurry. If this storm starts before we leave, then I'm getting to wear your jacket and you're going to get soaked."

"Alright," he yelled back, trying his hardest to keep his pitch neutral. No need to get the demon suspicious and to come back there. "Be there in a second."

"I'll put it on anyways, just in case."

"I said alright, Mira!"

Sheesh.

Makarov only continued to stare at him though. Raising one of the signature eyebrows that all the Dreyar men seemed to share, he asked, "Dragon?"

"Shut up, old man," he hissed, frowning at his grandfather as he came further into the office, jewels in hand. "And what? Huh? You takin' to spying on me or something?"

"It depends."

"On?"

"What exactly you've been doing with Mirajane."

"None of your dang business."

"I've noticed, Laxus," he said then. "The way the two of you have been acting together."

"What way? We're not-"

"And now after tonight-"

"We were just talking. That's-"

"Dragon, are you sure you're okay back there?" Mira was unrelenting. "If you need help, just ask."

"I'm fine, Mira, thanks," he volleyed back.

"Well, I know how hard a time you have with asking for-"

"I do not."

"Yes, you do. Remember that time that you couldn't find your headphones and we almost missed our reservation, but you wouldn't just tell me that was what you were looking for?"

"Yes, Mira, I-"

"Even though, really, you shouldn't use your headphones when you take me out. It's rude, you know, dragon."

"I got that. We've gone over it. Now just wait a second and I'll be right there, okay?" Glaring at his grandfather then, he said in a much softer voice, "We'll finish this later."

"Oh, believe me," Makarov grumbled as the man went to put away the jewels finally. "We will."

They did too. The very next day, Laxus was over at the man's home bright and early to hash it out.

"How long have you been abusing guild rights?"

That was how Makarov opened the door. Laxus only stared in shock at him.

"Abusing?" Growling then, he shoved his way into the house. "I ain't abusin' nothin'. Me and Mirajane are just seein' one another. It has nothing to do with the guild."

"The time you spent with one another appears to also happen on guild property, during her working hours. Violation. Abuse."

"Shut up, Gramps." He only came further into the house to go take a seat on the couch. "And why is this such a big deal to you?"

"Why are you hiding it?" the old man challenged as he followed, though he sat in his usual recliner. "If it is not a big deal?"

"We weren't hidin' it from you," Laxus grumbled as he relaxed on the couch. "At all."

"Then what were you doing?"

"Hidin' it from the others!" Laxus gave him a crazed look. "Could you imagine if this got out to the Thunder Legion? Or even just Freed? And forget about Mira's creepy siblings. Or her friends. That damn Lucy, she'd tell that stupid cat and he'd blab it to everyone. No. We couldn't have that."

"And why not? Hmmm?"

"Mira won't let anyone breathe without spreading stuff about them," he grumbled. "You think that they'd just all let this pass without a problem?" Snorting, he added, "I don't want those idiots meddling in my relationship."

"So now it is a relationship?"

"Of course it's one. Why wouldn't it be one? Me and Mira are seeing one another," he said. "A lot of one another. And-"

"And are you seeing other people as well?"

Feeling a lot less relaxed then, Laxus shifted on the couch. "Huh?"

"You heard me."

"Not that it's any of your concern-"

"It very much so is."

"How? Huh? I'm your grandson, you know," he grumbled. "Mira's just your stupid employee."

"Yes, well, I happen to like her a lot more than you, as it is."

"Figures." Shaking his head, Laxus said, "Me and Mirajane are very content with how things are, thanks."

"That's not what I asked."

"I'm committed to her, alright? Sheesh. What is this? A third degree?" Shifting some more, Laxus said, "Me and Mirajane have been seein' one another exclusively for a month or two now, if you're gonna be all nosey about it. And I'd appreciate it if you kept it to yourself, thanks."

"You do realize that if something went south between the two of you-"

"It won't."

"-it could cause problems in the guild, right?" Makarov was glaring at him then. "I rely on Mirajane for many things. If you run her off-"

"I'm not going to."

"Surely you understand how costly having relations in the guild can be."

"I'm not having relations," Laxus grumbled. "I'm have a relation. Relationship. Seriously, Gramps, relations makes it sound a lot worse than-"

"The only thing worse than this would be if you were with… No. This the worst. This is the absolute worst."

"You are being dramatic."

"Laxus, you are not known for lasting relationships," his grandfather pointed out.

"Yeah, and I just remember that constant mother and grandmother in my life growing up to show me how. Thanks for that, Gramps."

"That is my exact point," he said. "You're just as bad as any of us. And that would be fine. If you weren't sleeping with a guild member. And an important one at that. A very important one."

"So what? I could have my pick of the lowely-"

"Yes! You could have!" Makarov huffed then, shaking his head. "But as it stands now, you're going to have to stay with Mirajane forever. Or at least until she's done with you. Either that or I'll banish you before her. I promise you that. Because something tells me the two of you will not be adult about separating. At all."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, old man. And for, you know, shipping me off in this imaginary scenario even though it very well could be Mira that breaks my heart."

That time, he got a bored look from the elderly man. "Do not kid, Laxus."

"I'm serious." Crossing his arms over his chest, Laxus looked off as he said, "I happen to really enjoy Mirajane. I wouldn't have kept this going if I didn't. You think that I want to make things all complicated? No. But she's very…well…"

"Yes, I'm aware."

"But it's more than that," he insisted, as if his grandfather had rebuked him for what he said. "She gets me."

"Mirajane," Makarov repeated dryly, "gets you."

"Yeah."

"Mirajane Strauss."

"Yes."

"The same woman who came to me with a cartoon drawing as blueprints for the guild when it was-"

"The same."

"Laxus, surely you're more complex than that."

"And surely you know that Mirajane is much more complex than that." He wasn't backing down on that one. At all. "She's smart…in some aspects. A lot of them, actually. And she likes to brag on me, which is a plus."

"I'd bet."

"She's real tough too. Someone I can train with and not worry about hurting," he went on. "Really, we're just perfect for one another."

Makarov blinked. Then, slowly, he said, "Tell me, Laxus, that you do not think that you are-"

"I am," he said with a nod, not even needing his grandfather to finish his sentence. "I'm in love with her."

"Oh, Laxus."

"It's true. And she is with me." Leaning forwards then, he said, "So you better just get over it, Gramps. What? You think that she was holdin' out for you or somethin'?" Snort. "Hardly. And keep your old man eyes off her from now on."

Turning red, the man looked away. "I don't know what you-"

"I know you, Gramps. Erza? Cana? Laki? Take 'em. Look at 'em. I don't care. Bu the demon's mine now. Off limits."

"You-"

"Off," Laxus grumbled, "limits. To you and all your creepy old men friends. Mira's a lady."

Sighing loudly then, Makarov said slowly, "Is this how it will be then?"

"How what will be?"

"You," the man said, raising a finger at him. "This is the only time I've ever heard you talk about a woman in such a-"

"This is the first time you've asked me about one," Laxus pointed out. "But fine. You're right. The demon's different. She-"

"Stop with all this demon stuff. Please."

"I can't." Then, for the first time, Laxus grinned, real big. "You should be happy, Gramps, really, when you think about it."

"And why," he asked slowly, "should I be that?"

"'cause, accordin' to the demon, we're together forever now and she's gonna have my babies." He winked at the man. "You'll finally get her in the family."

"All this after only a few months?"

"Mira and I are very serious," Laxus told him. "So be prepared, yeah? You'll be footing the bill for the wedding."

"I think I would much rather be in the grave by that point."

"Careful what you wish for, Gramps," Laxus told him with a wag of the finger. "And you know that you'd rather be related to her than me anyhow."

"Oh, I think I've made that clear already." His head was spinning then. "You and Mira are serious enough that you've discussed-"

"Mira sees a good opportunity when it's presented to her," Laxus said, rubbing at his chest as he sat back up. "I don't think you get, Gramps, how great of a catch I am. I'm only a god embodied."

"Only," Makarov repeated with a roll of his eyes.

"Whose better babies to have. Huh? And a top mage like me at that? No way she could pass up on this sweet deal."

"Now it's a deal?"

"She's gettin' my jewels, my genes, and just me in general. What would you call it?"

Makarov only groaned. "Poor Mirajane."

"What?" Growling, Laxus said, "Gramps, you-"

"And all this time I thought she had a head on her shoulders."

"She does!"

"To make a decision like this-"

"Ain't nothin' final," Laxus reminded. "But don't think it'll take long now."

Makarov could only continue to shake his head. "I should have warned her. Kept her far form you. Something."

"Stop talkin' like I've done somethin' wrong. I haven't. Me and the demon are meant to be. We're divine."

"Surely there's someone I can introduce her to," Makarov mused. "Someone much more suitable. Yes. Anyone will do. Perhaps that Sting fellow. He's a guild master. Very-"

"I," Laxus growled, "would be a guild master by now if you'd just go ahead and die! Not to mention, Mirajane don't want him. Or anybody. But me. And you're kinda being a sour grandfather here, you know."

"Perhaps Gray-"

"Now you're just screwing with me." And riling him up. Very effectively. Glaring over at the other man, Laxus said, "I take her nice places, I don't ever yell at her, we hardly ever fight, I do whatever she wants, I take good care of her, I put up with all this baby talk when, really, it kinda freaks me out sometimes how mapped out she has our life together already-"

"I am only teasing, my boy," Makarov sighed. Sorta. "You and Mirajane are…both very important to me. And though this is rather shocking, all I ask is that you do not hurt her."

"Never." Then he frowned. "And hey! Are you gonna tell her to not hurt me or are you just being sexist over here?"

"You deserve to be hurt."

"You are just a sour old man, aren't you?" Settling back into the chair then, Laxus told him, "Mirajane and I are in this for the long haul. So you better get used to it."

"Considering you are both still very much so intent with hiding it-"

"From the others." Shrugging, he said, "Now that you know, there'd be no point in keepin' anything from you. I'll tell Mira that you found out and I'm sure it'll make her plenty happy."

"Please, don't," Makarov was quick to say. "It has been nice these past few months, not having to have a status update on her relationships. I'd rather not-"

"Just for that," and the fact he'd been so rude to Laxus over the whole thing, "I'm tellin' her."

It wasn't as if Makarov thought he'd keep it from her for long anyhow.

A day didn't pass before Makarov get all caught up in the relationship. Mira came in the office just to detail it to him. About how great Laxus was and how in love they were and how great everything was.

"I didn't mean to do all this behind your back-"

"It's quite alright, Mira," Master Makarov sighed as she continued to pace around the room, him just slumped in his chair, waiting for her break to finally end, as well as his torture. "Honestly, I-"

"Laxus is just so great. Really. He makes me really happy."

"That's wonderful. Now-"

"And if you're uncomfortable with any of this or think that it's wrong, you know, 'cause of the guild or that it crosses too many lines," she said slowly, "then I completely understand. And we'll-"

The man only forced a smile for her then. "I would think nothing for the sort."

Thankfully it was about that time that Lisanna called out for her sister that her break was over and they were getting slammed. Which relieved Makarov of listening to the woman. For the time being. If he knew Mirajane the way he thought he did, she'd be back later, to finish telling him about Laxus and her first date (she kept interrupting herself and never rightly got through it).

As annoyed as he wanted to be by the whole thing (as he still wasn't certain that his grandson wouldn't end up crushing the woman and he would absolutely hate that), it was hard to feel negatively about it when Mira's infectious smiled accompanied every word of her speech about it. She seemed to be very happy and, though he still wasn't sold on the whole thing, Makarov wanted to be happy for her too.

Oh, and his grandson, albeit begrudgingly. If Laxus was finally ready to have a steady romantic life, then that was definitely a good thing. Would Makarov have rather he tried that lifestyle out on someone other than Mirajane? Sure. But on the off chance that it did all work out (though he wasn't putting any money on it), he couldn't think of anyone better to welcome into his family.

If the time came. And, as more weeks were added and he observed more and more off Mirajane and Laxus' behavior, he wouldn't say that it was a sure thing, but it was definitely something nice to think about.

So fine, he was old. And yes, his luck with women had always run bad. But Laxus was young. And his was starting to look up.

Honestly, what more could Makarov ask for?

#Miraxus #Mirajane #Mira #Mira Strauss #Mirajane Strauss #Laxus #Laxus Dreyar #Makarov #Makarov Dreyar #Fairy Tail #Fanfiction

[greyliliy]

I hope this won't be annoying to talk about this in your asks, and if it is, of course ignore me. In your ABO fics it's funny how you've set up O!Izuku as being infertile and O!Katsuki as potentially fertile, but in their circumstances AMW has a better domestic set up for a baby even if O!Izuku mentally makes it dubious whereas in D introducing a baby would be a cruelty, a psychological ball and chain, I know angst and horror is what D is all about but a baby is already a passive weapon in a (a)

already toxic cocktail. Admittedly I am interested in how a baby would affect the claim game between the Alpha’s. Would it dissolve all interest, would they still want the Omega but leave the baby, would they have some infanticide urges that they have to quell or do they adopt the baby too. Tied to that, once a Alpha marks/imprints on a Omega (and still desires them) will they always have a possessive attitude towards them and how would that affect their attitudes regarding that O’s kids?

[Continued under a cut, ‘cause it’s a long one! :D]

Babies can add problems to the equation, and in O!Katsuki’s case, you can write him still being upset of his circumstance but now factoring in his child’s future, however the scariest chapters in D were 10-17, it was like reading the end of 1984 where you see a character lose themselves and it gets treated like a good thing and I guess my fears would be, you you go in the direction of a baby adding to that. Admittedly I am projecting my real life fear of babies and their toll, they are a huge responsibility and very selfish where the narrative and characters must be distorted to accommodate them such as in real life.

I am sure you probably appreciate how much of parents lives go to revolving around their kids and I can understand the attractive challenge of putting that into your dynamics and I think it’s really cool of you. In AMW that is a (seemingly) safe place to explore fictional babies. D, if a baby is going to be a good thing, the amount of character development needed for that to be a good thing, feels a long way off.

No matter how patient Deku was relative to other Alpha, him being the best of a bunch of bad choices and his controlling, restrictive, conformist attitude as you have written him, if he remains unchanged will make introducing have a baby with him, as a good thing, where the hero (Katsuki) abandons his values would be unsettling and contrived. If it is introduced as not good thing, like something forced upon Katsuki to further keep him from ever being a hero or further deteriorate his own free will and opens the discussion between Katsuki as himself versus the Omega biology.

It would still be hard to read but it wouldn’t be at the sacrifice of Katsuki as you’ve thus far portrayed him but instead introduce a new obstacle he has to work around as part of his life, it would keep him further from being a hero and be a physical and permanent reminder of his “new” life. However, babies are something you can’t go back from and if it’s induced under bad sentiment than that will hang over the baby e.g. Izuku destroys Kastuki’s birth control and rapes him to prove a point, than the baby will always be symbolic of that incredibly negative experience and since Izuku and Katsuki are endgame I highly doubt you would plan that. It’s more likely a “not good baby” of such nature would come from the first alpha since he threatened that before.

Izuku, despite his negative traits, wants Katsuki to accept his life on his own and and be happy; the problem is the whole cohesive circumstances and when we see Izuku’s patience snapping, it’s all antagonistic to Katsuki and his own trust in himself, and that can still be a unhealthy place to bring up a baby. Katsuki being cohered into thinking that is what he wants, which is sort of how the sex in the previous chapters felt, even if he liked it, he was pressured into it. Until Katsuki is not scared of Izuku, a baby between them will be strange because it will always feel like it has been forced on an unwilling or unsure Katsuki and that is still something that will hang over the child.

So I guess it’s about what you want a baby to mean in the story and how you’re going to work the characters up to that point. Even in AMW, a baby can still have cause for domestic drama and emotional turmoil but because both sides are well meaning it’s a better environment for a baby element to be introduced, no one is caged or destroying buildings or using Orders in a harmful way and they can sort things as they go.

If the end of D is Katsuki conforming and so lose himself with a baby to seal the deal of angst, that is an ending, not all endings need to be happy. Some readers will hate it, others will want more, the main thing is to write what you want. I am pretty sure I am just writing things you are already an expert on. They’re very different dynamics to add a baby into (all the more fun of a challenge), and people may have gushed for a baby in 'domestic fluff land with a dash of overcoming trauma condition past angst’ that is AMW but adding one to D, just because, it’s going to be hard, so I guess Good Luck is what I’m saying.

I am not sure how this spam came across and I hope it made sense. In other news, loved the Izuku and the warp gate update, tossing M!Kacchan over the shoulder because of his tired leggies was a nice detail.Hope to read more canon Kacchan as I thought you wrote him in character v. well.

*whistles* Long comment is long! And I love it. Asks about writing and fics are never annoying, so thank you. This was nice to read. Very thoughtful and it’s flattering to see this kinda thoughts come from reading my work. xD

I’m gonna’ answer the world building question first before I get into the Baby discussion:

As much as I love pushing the Alpha’s possessiveness lines to their extreme and kinda like reading A/B/O scenarios where Alpha have a desire to get rid of kids that aren’ theirs, that’s not happening in this universe. I gave Alpha enough problems in this universe and I’m not in the mood for that much angst. Debauchery’s got enough as it is.

So officially in this world, babies are a package deal with the Omega. So say an Alpha wants to take a mate from someone else and they already have kids, they’re taking both parent & children. Now, that’s a give over generalization and the level of affection new Alpha will give old Alpha’s kids is going to vary based on personality and relationships and all that, but generally it goes well. 

So in the hypothetical case of Bakugou becoming pregnant with someone else’s child, be it PR Alpha or Shigaraki or whatever, Deku would be fine with the kids. That probably won’t happen because–again–this thing is angsty enough without that extra level, but if I were to go that route, Deku would treat the kids like his own ‘cause he’s a good guy. But even if he were a bad guy, at worst he’d be indifferent (like in Jirou’s hypothetical case in the canon where she wanted a baby enough to raise the kid alone even if her Alpha wasn’t interested).

But as far as Alpha losing interest in a mate, that usually involves replacing the object of their affection/possessiveness with something else–which is the easiest route. The other one is “I got beaten down so hard by the other Alpha, I submitted completely and my brain gave up the other mate out of sheer self preservation.” It can be one, the other, or both, but Alpha can get pretty fixated.

It’s complicated and there’s always weird outliers (like Kirishima).

Now back to the baby discussion! :D

First: I am in no way, shape, or form an expert on pregnancy or children. (I’m sorry, I laughed a little bit toward that comment at the end where you thought I might be. XD).

What I am, is at that age where everyone I know my age either already has kid(s) or is planning to have kids, or is a grandparent and I hear not only about their kids, but their grandkids, and even the younger people I hang out with have siblings who have children.

So uh. I’m around kids a lot and it’s a topic I couldn’t avoid now even if I wanted to.

Add in that I’m at that age where if I do want kids of my own, I should be having them already. Like. Right now. That ticking biological clock can feel like a beast. I know you can have kids in your forties, but the longer you wait the worse it is and I’m forever trapped in “I kinda want kids, but I kinda don’t” undecided land which is a bad place to be. I don’t recommend it. At all.

So getting to write pregnancy as a great joy (AMW) and a terrifying horror (Deb.) at the same time just feels like it’d be cathartic experience. Especially since I get to explore it in the context of a fantasy society where I can exaggerate emotions and experiences past what’s realistic (though not by too much) and basically Do What I Want.

Because you’re not wrong, kids are a huge thing. They’re a brand new little life and tiny person that’s completely dependent on their parents and it’s a humbling and amazing thing, but also very scary.

In A Mate’s Worth, I still get to cover both, it’s just on the more, typical cliche domestic type: Being pregnant is Deku’s dream come true, but Katsuki gets to be the nervous new parent who was not prepared for that revelation. XD

While in Debauchery, I get to explore more of the Nature aspects of A/B/O and Katsuki dealing with the fact that as an Omega, he’s got some natural instincts that want kids pretty badly and he’s not cooperating. (To go along with the ones that are already there telling him to submit to Deku, etc.)

A baby would be Katsuki’s worst nightmare, so seeing him struggle with dealing with natural instincts that make him adore the little bundle in his hands crashing together with his “I hate being an Omega” struggles just feel like a fun (albeit horrifying) dynamic to explore.

And if it makes you feel better, I was just on the fence of a baby in Debauchery from the beginning, so it’s not a “just because” thought. Ha ha. There’s a reason in the prologue Deku’s excited about Bakugou being a “Beta” because it means he can have kids.

Deku has wanted kids with Katsuki in Debauchery since the beginning of the story, he’s just tactful enough not to have not brought it up to Katsuki’s face just yet. XD

Long answer short, I’m pretty decided on this happening, however it turns out, but I probably will go back and forth all the way up until the chapter before when it comes to added the tag knowing me. HA ha ha ha.

Thanks so much!! :D

(And thank you. XD Deku picking up M!Katsuki was one of my favorite parts. Ha ha ha ha.)

#Ask Liliy #Liliy Fanfic #I really should just tag the fics #at this point I'd be shocked if I didn't write them with kids.