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#recently bought the high school pack on sunday
sleepy-stories · 4 months
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I played sims 4 and created some sims that look as best to the looney tunes and disney characters as humans as possible. And this happen after prom. They were invited to an after party and the couples of baffy and donmick did this on rides together...
Also remember it is a genderbend verison of the characters like how i been doing. So deal with it. If it makes you better think of the pronouns as he/him/his in the her/she
Baffy scene:
"Bugs decides a distraction is a best tactic and tell a few jokes to make Daffy feel better. Bugs breaths a sigh of relief as Daffy crack a small smile. She appreciates the effort put into a helping comfort her in her time of need. The rest of the ride is full of laughter, helping Bugs gain a better relationship with Daffy.
And the relationship points was a friendship. Even tho they have crushes between each other.
Donmick: The cuddle carts had done it again! Donald seems to catch on to her vibe and scoots a little closer. Mickey tries to hold back the excited squeal and causally put her around Donald. This really is a cuddle cart! The employee in the corner gave a thumbs up with a nod of approval, before screwing in the final lightbulb. Things are looking bright for these two!
For these two their points were for romance just like baffy, the two are crushing each other but more on mickey before until this ride which made it equal.
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joshuasearing · 11 months
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Wednesday 7th June 2023
Hey journal so sorry that I haven’t been consistent as of recently just been struggling to keep up with everything and been finding everything so hard to keep up with. Anyways Sunday I had an 8-4 shift it was ok. After work I ended up just going home as I couldn’t go to the gym due to hurting my whole body from the charity game I played on Saturday. When at home I just played on my pc for a few hours. Then I found out my girlfriend was nearly home from holiday and she was wondering whether I could sleep round as she wanted to see me. So I asked and it was a yes. So I ended up having a shower and getting everything packed up. Once I got there I was welcomed by a lovely kiss and hug from Caitlin. Then for the rest of the night we relaxed with each other in her room. Now for Monday I starts the day of by relaxing in Caitlin’s room, then Caitlin left for College. From 11-12 I had a therapy session, this went really well and ended up helping a lot which is good. After the therapy I got ready for the day by washing my face and brushing my teeth. Then I spoke to Caitlin on her brothers phone as she couldn’t get a hold of me on my phone. She rang as she had forgot the towels for her massage and that she was going to be giving me at college. Basically I was her client for something she is getting graded on in college. Anyways her mum gave me this pink bag with a cat on it for me to put the towels in. So I put these two different sized grey towels in the bag. After this was all sorted I decided to briefly clean her room a little bit before leaving as my ocd was getting annoyed with how messy her room was after. After this I left her house and got the bus into town. When I got to town I got myself a mini bbq wrap from kfc. Then I met up with Alyssa’s boyfriend Harry as he was the client for Alyssa. Then when I met up with him we both made are way to the college. We spoke about loads of different topics and also waited in the reception together. The massage ended up being good and relaxing I just wish she could of done a bit more force and power. However she said she couldn’t as she was not strong enough which is understandable. Then after the massage all of us went into town and got a kfc the man ended up forgetting Caitlin’s sauce so I had to ask for it and he also gave us food that was for a different customer on top of the food we actually ordered. So this lady came in saying she was missing food. However we didn’t say anything as we thought that she didn’t want to have food that had came from our bag and also it’s free food lol. After this we all went to a fee shops. We went into Ann summers, which was a weird experience as I felt so out of place in there and it was all sexual based it was so strange to me. Then after this we went to menkind. Then when in here Alyssa and Harry left. Shortly after this me and Caitlin went to jd sports and Caitlin was going to get these all white high top Jordan’s however the biggest size they had was 4.5 and she is a size 5 so she ended up having to leave empty handed which was a shame. After this we met up with Caitlin’s sister. Then we all got picked up by there dad. We got dropped of to there house. Then after this we quickly nipped to Tescos as we had to get some items. I ended up buying two cans of deodorant as I was running out as I only had half of a can of lynx left. Then after this we went back to her house. Once at her house we watched some tv and also had meatballs and spaghetti for dinner. Now for today, I started the day of by getting up early as Caitlin had college. Her mum dropped of Caitlin’s little brother to school Whilst me Caitlin’s sister and Caitlin were in the car. Then she dropped us into town. Once in town I bought Caitlin a toffee latte from Maccies then I waited at the bus stop with both of them and they both got the bus to college. Once they left I went to Maccies and got myself a Maccies breakfast as I get a discount for being an employee of Maccies. Then after this I walked to my gym and did a little chill session.
I mainly focused on arms but I also did a little bit of chest. Then after the gym I walked home. Once I got home I made a protein shake, my mum made me sausage and egg in a baguette. I also had a bath, then after all of this I went to have a sleep before I had to go to work. Once I got up I got ready for work. My mum dropped me of to work and I got to work early for once which is a shock to me. Work was stress like usual I was mainly on in store for most of my shift. After work today I rang Caitlin whilst walking home. Since I’ve been at home I have wrote in my journal, done my documenting my mental health tiktok and that’s it really. Anyways speak to you late journal. Bye journal!
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starkeristheendgame · 4 years
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hey!! im really sorry to bother but i really love your writing & saw that you were taking prompts!! i was wondering if you could do one where tony has a sort of kink for calling peter ‘kid’ in a way, if your comfortable of course! sorry if my English isn’t the best!
I’m so sorry that this got buried to the bottom of my inbox! I hope you’re still around and that you get to see this, and I’m so sorry again that it drowned! I hope you enjoy it and I can only apologise if you hate it 😂
Also; please, please don’t ever apologise for your verbal or lingual ability. Learning another language is hard, and English is noted as one of (if not the most) hardest languages to learn. Being bi/multi-lingual is something to be insanely proud of!
I hope you don’t mind, but all of my prompts recently have been in canon universe, so this is a neighbours AU with no powers. In which Tony is a rich ex-businessman who just wants to tinker on old cars in his (not) retirement and Peter is the high school kid that won’t leave him alone.
TW: ‘Kid’ kink (the term) | Underage character | Underage (SS&C) sex | Daddy kink
Someone had bought the house next to his over the half-term. Peter knew this because the sale sign went down and the garden was immediately de-turfed and a notice was posted through everyone’s door on Wayforest Road that ‘minor construction’ would begun within the next two weeks, from 8am to 5pm daily, save for Saturdays and Sundays.
Peter wanted to laugh in - and then punch - the face of whoever decided to term it minor. Abruptly on the following Monday, almost a full half-hour before his alarm was due to go off, Peter was awoken by deep, loud voices and the clanging of scaffolding poles as the workmen arrived.
Groaning did nothing. Neither did flopping about pathetically on his bed like a beached fish. Burrowing under his duvet and his pillow was also a lost cause; he’d left his window open to keep his room cool in the night.
Seething, Peter flung himself from bed, turned off his alarm, and hopped in the shower. The workmen were gone when he came back, but the house was now a big, ugly grey thing besides his own, and he paused on the sidewalk to eye it mulishly. “If you’re another crabby old man; I’m not helping you walk your groceries up to your porch” he announced loudly to the empty house, and scuttled away to the safety of his own home after being eyed balefully and judgmentally by Mrs. Witkin’s cat.
At the dinner table, the new house and its new occupants were all Aunt May seemed to want to talk about, despite the way Peter’s face resembled less of his usual ‘ :) ‘ and more of a ‘ -.- ‘ as she went on, guessing the features of their new neighbour animatedly around mouthfuls of mashed potato.
Tuesday morning found him jolting awake to a shout of “Jim! Jim! For fuck’s sake, Jim, get tha’ fuckin’ plank!” In a thick, overly loud Irish accent.
By Friday, Peter was ready to forgo just a punch to the face, and was willing to commit all out, planned murder. At somewhere around seven-am every morning that week, the workmen had woken him up with their clanging and their shouting and their existing. Friday evening he stomped around the corner with a glower, fingers tight around his backpack straps. Not even Mrs. Witkin’s mean old cat could deter him from scowling at the house the entire way to his door.
Town rumours be damned; that cat was just old and judgemental, like half the residents there. It was no trapped old lady or cursed young Prince.
Hopefully.
Peter crossed himself on his porch quickly just in case. It could never hurt to be a little superstitious. Especially not after the day that Mr. Herald proclaimed himself immortal and was then promptly wiped out by the tree in his yard collapsing.
By the following Monday, Peter caved and stayed at Ned’s for the night, for the first time in his entire life thankful to hear the music of his alarm and not a series of clangs or yells. It was even good enough that Ned’s snoring didn’t disturb him as much as it usually did. He felt chipper, refreshed. Right up until he turned the corner and found his street lined with vans, the workmen a little late finishing.
The next two months were cesspit of noise and strange men and sleepless days off. Apparently the person who had bought the house must’ve only liked the area and nothing about the house at all, because by week three, all that remained of it was the bare skeleton, gutted and stripped and ugly. But Peter was willing to concede that his new neighbour had good taste.
By the end of the second month the house had been entirely re-built, and Peter was convinced that his new neighbour was some very famous or important person looking for a secret hideaway, or a mob boss. There was no other logical explanation. What had once been a decent but generic detached property with a neglected garden was now a mini-mansion of sorts, all soft creams and light earth tones, with a stonewall front and staggered steps that led onto a half-gravel and half-grass front yard.
Large paned windows were already lined with thick curtains and plants and a sweeping gravel-scape led to a large garage, that seemed to be the most work of the renovation. It was huge, probably taking up over half of what used to be side garden and dead grass. No fence bordered the property, but the difference between Peter’s space and the new person’s space was immaculate and definitive.
“Huh” he mused aloud, blinking. Suddenly, he was less irritated at all those lost half-hours and more curious about who was going to be living there. They had money, for sure. Inheritance? Insurance claim payout? Illegal happenings? Aunt May’s two joking theories were suddenly looking less of a joke and more genuine possibilities.
As it would happen, Peter wouldn’t actually find out for another three or so months. The man moved in on a Saturday, quietly and with a small fleet of sleek SUV vehicles and fancy moving vans. Peter enjoyed a lazy morning, napping until the start of the afternoon and basking in the summer warmth, stretching in front of his bedroom window and looking down in time to see the last of the delivery and moving people packing down their vehicles.
Peter eyed all the bodies curiously, but it soon became clear none of them were his new neighbour, because they all stood around, flipping through paperwork, and then promptly left. Peter lingered under the pretence of dusting at his window ledge, but the street was quiet and empty.
Aunt May was anything but quiet when he finally dragged himself downstairs in search of food. “Peter! Morning, honey. Did you see the vans outside? Very fancy. Big enough for bodies, too, though” May hummed, flipping through the book she was currently reading.
Thirty Ways To Revive Your Youth.
Peter grimaced, and begun to rummage through the cupboards. “Not to question your intelligence, but. Why would a mob boss carry around his victims? Like a few teeth or knuckles ought to serve as good souvenirs. I don’t think carting around whole bodies is practical” Peter pointed out, settling on fruity oatmeal. Aunt May paused in her reading, nose twitching to adjust her glasses as she considered it.
“Hm. Point. Unless they bought the house because they run out of burial room, and these are fairly recent bodies they need the new soil for” she pointed out, and Peter pointed his spoon at her as he passed.
“Point” he agreed.
And so the weeks passed, but the mystery remained. No matter what time Peter tired to linger, or how early he awoke, his neighbour never seemed to be around. Here and there he would catch a figure roaming past the windows, kinda like a ghost, but never a clear view or a face. It was vastly disappointing, but his interest didn’t wane over the months that spanned between his rueful lack of sleep and now.
Now being a hazy Saturday morning, warm but not overly stuffy. Peter was coming back from a morning at Ned’s wherein they’d been steadily chewing away at the LEGO Galactic Supership. He was halfway down the street when a large trailer vehicle begun to drift down the street steadily, heading straight in Peter’s direction.
He paused on the sidewalk, watching it with interest. It was a transportation vehicle, and as it drew closer Peter could see there was a car on the back of it, heavily clamped down and chained to make sure it wouldn’t roll off. The vehicle passed him by some, and he got a clear view of the other car. It looked old, a little broken, rusted. Huge, though. Bigger than all the cars he’d seen before.
It pulled up right outside his neighbours house. Sensing an opportunity, and genuinely curious, Peter lingered, taking a few steps across the sidewalk to eye the car. It was a glossy red, though it had sun fade and was patchy. The chrome was glossy in places and dull, rusted in others. One headlight was missing.
The door of the cab opened, and Peter turned on his heel to see the driver getting out. The friendly greeting died on his lips as toned, thick thighs slid from the cab, followed by trim hips and a long, solid torso only half-hidden under a tank-shirt and overshirt. Broad shoulders prefaced the hottest man that Peter had ever laid eyes on.
He had a shaped jaw that was cut by stubble in a unique style that Peter had never seen anyone wearing before. He had sharp cheeks and dark, deep eyes with long lashes, tanned but not exactly browned and dark, dark hair with the barest flecks of grey at the roots, at his temples.
The man seemed surprised to find him there, pausing mid-way through pushing the door shut and peering around the street before looking back at him. One shaped brow lifted, and Peter stumbled to remember his manners, thrusting out a hand.
“Hi, Mister. Sorry - I was looking at the car. Is it for the new house?” He asked, forcing himself not to blush under the intense gaze. After a brief pause, the man took his hand, palm large and slightly rough, grip firm. He was even more attractive up close, slight crinkles at the corners of his eyes, dark lips and the strong scent of motor oil and grease.
“Would seem that way”.
And Ho-ly voice. Deep and with the softest of rumbles, soothing like a thunderstorm in the far distance. Peter clutched at his jacket when their hands dropped, coughing politely to hide whatever facial expression he’d pulled. The man strode past him and to the car, beginning to work on the many safety straps and chains.
“Did they…Is this theirs?” Peter asked after watching him quietly for several moments with a gesture towards the house besides them. Peter had discovered the house had a second parking bay on the other side, where a glossy black muscle car from the 60′s never seemed to move.
“Theirs’?” The man echoed, pausing in his movements to look up at Peter with curious amusement. It occurred to him then that it was likely some random car recovery guy had seen his new neighbour(s) before he had.
“Uh…Well. I’ve never actually seen them. So I don’t know if its one person, or a whole family, or…” Peter trailed off meekly, looking over his shoulder at the building. It looked as empty as it always did, no lights on and no figures moving behind the windows.
“Townsfolk say its some celebrity having a breakdown. Others say its some old widow using her husband’s life insurance. Even heard from someone that its a mafia lord, settling down in the middle of some quiet ass nowhere town” the recovery man grunted, hauling on a thick, heavy chain. Peter flushed.
Yeah. He was…Guilty of some pretty crazy guesses. But come on. Someone buys a house, spends upwards of hundreds of thousands doing it over, and then…Nothing. No new faces at the grocery store. Never seen, or even heard. Like a ghost.
“They’re not big fans of being…Seen. I guess? I mean, I know a guy with groceries comes around every Monday. Sometimes multiple times a week, but he always puts them in the garage and leaves. And this town is full of judgemental old people - Half of whom probably have mercury poisoning or something. There’s gonna be some pretty wild speculations going around” he pointed out, moving closer to look at what appeared to be a scratch in the paintwork.
The car gave a faint creak as the man released all of the holds on this side, snorting as he rounded the back of the vehicle and went to the other side with a loud, amused snort. Peter followed, and stifled a gasp at the sight of the other car. The man turned, eyeing him for a moment, before nodding.
“Got T-boned by an estate car. But she’s a tough old thing. Heavy metals and good steel; not like today’s cars. She came out better off” he mumbled as he worked on a thick strap, carefully taking apart the various clasps and buckles. Peter approached the car carefully, stretching up on his toes to brush his fingertips over the warped metal. He felt almost….Sad for the car.
He traced the flaking paint and the twisted, dented metal tenderly, and when he pulled away, the man was watching him again, movements slowed as he pulled the material through the metal. “Is this their car? What good is it now if its all broken up?” He asked curiously.
The man ducked his head, moving onto another thick chain. “Its just the one guy. I guess its a…Hobby. Of his. Bought her yesterday at a scrap lot”. He seemed uncomfortable saying it, but to Peter it was like gold trust. One guy. Huh. A big old house like that? That seemed rather lonely. Maybe it really was some rich old person retiring, enjoying a quiet place and a mechanics hobby.
Peter was going to ask more, but the car was freed with a grinding sound, and the man gestured him carefully back with his hand, holding it out in front of Peter to walk him back like a horse, to a safe distance. The man used two remotes to bring the car to the ground, Peter watching in fascination as rotors and rolling mechanisms moved it backwards and onto the tarmac of the road.
“How do you plan on moving it now?” Peter asked, and immediately regretted it as the man shed his over-shirt. Biceps. Shoulders. Forearms. His throat went dry and he could feel the heat rising to his cheeks.
As it turns out, the plan was simply ‘push’. Peter scoffed, but was soon at a loss to anything but stare as the man leaned heavily against the trunk of the car, muscles bulging in the afternoon sun. Heavy or not, the car soon begun to roll, and after a moment Peter dropped his backpack and came up besides the straining man, leaning all his might against the metal.
It probably did fuck all, but the man gave him a wry grin all the same, chest heaving with deep, controlled breaths as they moved the car across the flat ground and onto the side-drive space. Peter’s shoulder ached and his arms and thighs suddenly felt like jelly, but the man slapped him across the back.
“Good effort, kid” and then moved away, heading towards the front door. Peter gaped as the man simply grasped the doorhandle and pushed the door open, and floundered on the drive. “Wait! You’re just gonna walk into his house?” He called, and the man paused mid-step, looking back at him.
“Well. I ought to just ‘walk in’. Its my house”. And with a lewd, perfect wink he was gone. Peter wasn’t entirely sure what to do with himself, flailing on the driveway with error logs flashing behind his eyes. That was his neighbour. His neighbour was some rich, late-thirty something hot-hot-hot guy who fixed broken classic cars.
“Oh my god” Peter muttered, stomping down the driveway to get his bags. Four months. He’d lived next to this Playgirl model for four months.
He decided against telling Aunt May. It felt selfish, but it also felt good to know he was the only person to have seen him. Even though he realised not long after reaching his room that he hadn’t even gotten his name. Peter waited by his window for hours, but saw neither hair nor hide of the man again. By morning, the transport truck was gone and the cherry red car was presumably inside the garage.
The damned guy was magic. There was no other explanation. Fuelled, Peter spent the Sunday morning in the kitchen, furiously baking with narrowed eyes and a plan. The muffins were done by mid-day, and Peter iced them carefully before boxing them, and stomping across the sidewalk to his neighbour’s house.
Peter knocked, and waited. Knocked again. Waited. “If you don’t answer the door then I’m just going to sit here” he announced loudly, knocking again before plopping down onto the porch just to prove a point. Several long minutes passed before his neighbour appeared around the corner, from the garage judging by the grease steaks up his arms, scowling.
“Kid. Here’s a life tip; if someone doesn’t answer the door, its because they don’t want company” the man huffed, but his eyes zeroed in on the box with intense curiosity, and Peter shrugged, smug.
“You came out, though” he pointed out, pushing himself to his feet. The man scoffed, but allowed him to follow, leading the way around the building where a small side-door was open.
“I came out about thirty years ago, kiddo. If that’s a congratulations cake, you’re a little late”. Peter tripped over the gravel, fighting his legs to remain upright and his stomach did a weird knot inside him. Oh. Not only was his neighbour hot, but he was at the least male inclined, too.
Very interesting.
“Actually, these are just welcome muffins. Chocolate and orange” Peter murmured, stepping inside the garage. It was bigger than it seemed, and the cherry red car stood in the centre, sanded down and clearly being worked on already.
“Peter, by the way. Peter Parker” he added after a pause, and almost offered his hand for a second time, but settled instead on thrusting the muffin box at the man. He raised a brow, but delved inside to pull one out, clearly eager at the prospect.
“Tony” he offered simply, and Peter tested it on his tongue, enjoying the shape. For now; he’d let the lack of a last name go. Good things in time, after-all. Choosing to invite himself to stay, Peter perched primly on top of the edge of the workbench, electing another raised brow, but Tony’s mouth was too full of muffin to object.
Tony begun to work as he ate, and Peter sat in content silence, watching as Tony and his bulging arm muscles took each wheel off the car and begun to strip it of all its chrome features. Peter checked his phone after a while and was surprised to find that around four hours had passed. May would be home from her sewing group about now. He ought to head home.
“I’ll be back tomorrow” he announced, and jumped at the same time Tony did, the man smacking his arm off warped metal with a shout. Tony whirled on him, eyes wide, gaze flicking between him and the door, before he looked…Confused.
“You’re still here?” He asked, and Peter snorted as he dusted off his pants, heading for the door with a shake of his head. May came home shortly after he did, and Peter supposed he ought to let her know that he’d be visiting Tony again tomorrow.
“So he’s not a mafia boss? Or a celebrity?” She asked around a mouthful of roasted chicken, looking rather disappointed as Peter shrugged and shook his head.
“He just seems…Aloof? I don’t know. Maybe he’s some business tycoon or something. But he seems nice. I’m just going over to help him with this car he’s got. It’s real nice, too” Peter hummed, and Aunt May narrowed her eyes at him.
“Are you sure? I mean, you don’t know him. He’s a stranger. Albeit a hot one, apparently. And you have school tomorrow, too. You shouldn’t be hanging around strangers. Unless…If he happens to be single…I’d be open to his number” May shrugged after a pause, and Peter blinked.
May was surprisingly easy to placate, and he assured her that if she wanted to, she could march right over to Tony and give him a Mother Hen Talk after dinner, but she decided against that, and in favour of a hot bath. School on Monday rolled around quicker than Peter could say ‘garage’ and he decided against telling Ned about Tony.
He wanted Tony all to himself. At least…For as long as he could. It was strange, but he found his heart thumping as he marched down Tony’s driveway and up to the garage door this time, knocking on it loudly. He’d brought lemonade and sandwiches this time.
The garage door opened, and Tony looked equally as startled to see Peter there as he had the day prior, gaze raking his body before frowning, and stepping aside with a sigh. “You’re like a mosquito, kid. I came here to get away from people” Tony announced pointedly, and Peter founded on him with an unimpressed gaze and an arched brow of his own.
“If you truly wanted to get away from people, you’d have moved out in the mountains or something. Now, get back to work. In an hour you can stop for supper. I brought chicken sandwiches” he ordered, taking his seat from the day before and pulling his calculus homework from his bag.
He kept his gaze down as Toy stared at him, mouth opening and closing several times, before he went for his wrench, muttering to himself as he lay down on a wheeled bench and rolled under the car. Peter smiled quietly into his papers. A little over two hours later - he lost count, sue him - Peter pushed himself to his feet and strode over to the car, kicking Tony lightly in the ankle that stuck out.
“We can eat now” he announced, walking back over to his pack and taking out the tupperware he’d packed this morning. He could hear the sound of the wheels moving, and he turned, holding out the box. Tony looked perplexed, but approached and took it, still looking puzzled even as he bit into his own portion.
“Not that the pattern of snacks isn’t appreciated, kid, but…Why are you here?” he asked after he’d swallowed, and Peter actually had to think about it, flushing as his mind conjured up inappropriate responses like ‘I want to lick your arms’ and ‘You look like the hot mechanics in my pornos’.
He settled on a shrug, chewing slowly for more time. “You’re interesting. You’re my neighbour. You’re not a mafia boss or a broken down celebrity” he pointed out. Tony twitched on the last one, but gave a hum and moved away, scarfing down the last of his sandwich and returning to the car. This time, when Peter informed him he was leaving and would be back tomorrow again, Tony neither jumped nor looked surprised.
It became a pattern. Three out of seven days a week, Peter would sit in the garage with his homework or revision and Tony would work on the red car, which Peter came to learn was a 1958 Plymouth Fury. “Just like in Christine” Tony had huffed proudly, and had then been quickly appalled when Peter had simply stared blankly.
That night, Peter had watched the movie, and his next visit was spent talking animatedly about it with Tony, discussing their favourite parts and what it might be like if it was ever re-made. After a month, Aunt May picked her way across the gravel to finally meet the man her adopted son kept disappearing off to be with, and Peter had the unfortunate experience of watching them flirt together, Tony in a cheeky, smooth, outrageous manner and Aunt May like a school-girl. When he begun to gag in the corner, Tony threw an oil rag at him.
One day, a week before the summer holidays, Peter rounded the corner to find Tony stood on the porch, looking angry and tense and talking to a tall woman with red hair, tied up in a ponytail. Peter stopped and lingered, unsure of what to do. Besides him and May, he’d never seen anyone else talking to Tony. Even the grocery delivery guy simply put the bags in the garage and left.
After a while, the woman turned away, looking sullen and displeased, and slipped into a sleek black SUV, pulling off with a screech of her tires and the rev of her engine. By the time Peter reached the house, Tony was back inside, and he knocked quietly, leaning closer to the door.
Tony didn’t answer.
“Mr. Tony? I’m not sure what happened, but…If you’re not up for hanging out today, its cool. I brought soup, but I’ll leave yours on the porch. It might be hot, so…Be careful”. Peter stooped and left the thermos close to the door, before leaving. He felt uncomfortable for the rest of the day, longed to go see Tony, but everything in his gut told him to let him be for a time.
Whoever that man had been, he was clearly someone Tony didn’t like or want around.
Almost a whole week passed in which Tony didn’t answer the door, and by the Saturday, the first official day of the summer holidays, Peter was moping. Not to anyone that asked, but it was clear to even Ned that he’d been a little down lately, declining a celebratory LEGO fest in exchange for slinking up to his room.
No sooner had he toed off his shoes, the doorbell rung. Peter groaned, turning on his heel and abandoning his sweater on the staircase. It was probably another of Aunt May’s Amazon orders. Since she’d discovered the wonders of online shopping, Peter had learned their regular post-man was named Greg, he had two kids and a poodle, and was allergic to shrimp.
“What has she bought this ti- Tony?” Peter paused mid-sentence, eyes widening at the sight on his doorstep. Tony looked rough, dark circles under his eyes, his face looking more lined than before, but he gave a weak smile up at Peter, still stiff and unsure.
“Hey, kiddo. Figured you might…I made spaghetti. And I still have your thermos. Was gonna work on the car a bit”.
Peter recognised it for the attempted invitation that it was, and didn’t bother to fight off his broad grin. “Lucky for you, I love spaghetti. I just gotta grab a sweater on” he beamed, practically flinging himself up the stairs. Tony’s spaghetti was amazing, with some kind of pink-ish sauce, little chunks of shrimp and prawns, all tangy and sweet.
He even let Peter help with the car. Or…Well. He let Peter hold the torch. And the wrench. But still.
He was still grinning when he skipped home that evening, and when he crawled into bed his dreams were filled with oil-stained arms and a low, rumbling voice. He gasped awake in the early hours, cock hard and leaning against his hip, Tony’s voice echoing in his skull.
He shouldn’t.
He bit his lip and reached down, whimpering as he wrapped a hand around himself. He was too hard to last more than a few minutes, stifling his yell of “Tony!” Into his pillow as he came. When he arrived at Tony’s house later in the day, he could barely look the man in the eyes, flustered and shy.
The holidays continued in a similar fashion. They hung out almost every day in the garage, often for an entire day. Peter felt guilty about abandoning Ned, but looking at Tony’s broad smile, listening to his quips, watching his abs flex under his shirts as he lifted things...It was worth it.
By the fourth week of his holidays, after numerous days of lounging together with takeout and Tony helping him with his homework, Peter piped up.
“Peter”.
“What?”
“My name. It’s Peter” he repeated, nudging Tony gently where they lay together on the floor of the garage, staring up at the underside of the car. It was almost complete. Something to do with the clutch, and then all it needed was new paint. “You keep calling me ‘kid’. So. Y’know. In case you’d forgotten” he hummed.
Besides him Tony stilled, only briefly, before relaxing and swatting at him. “You are a kid, though”.
“I’m sixteen. I’m not a kid” Peter huffed, rolling onto his side and kneeing Tony in the thigh. Tony let his head loll, looking across at him with dark, dark eyes, and Peter’s breath hitched. Tony was close enough to kiss. And god, Peter wanted to kiss him. Had spent the past few weeks staring at his body, his mouth when he talked, waking up at night hard and aching.
Peter let his gaze drop, to plush lips outlined by dark stubble, and then he pushed himself up, momentarily hovering over Tony as he got his legs beneath him. “And you’re an old man” he tried, teasing, tugging at a lock of hair at Tony’s temple.
For the briefest, briefest of moments, Tony’s gaze went even darker. Hungrier. Peter thought about it in the shower that night, two fingers stuffed inside himself with too-little prep, mewling against the shower tiles. Almost as if…
He begun to get bolder. Touched Tony more. Stood closer. Any excuse to be in his space. If Tony noticed he said nothing, only giving lingering, unreadable looks and only ever turning away with a poorly hidden smirk whenever Peter said anything just a little too obvious.
On the last week of his holidays, Peter was kneeling half over Tony, dabbing gingerly at a slice on his bicep while the man clutched an ice-pack to his knee. The cherry red car was out, and an old, 1957 Chrysler Saratoga was in. And apparently, angry.
“Kid, seriously. I’m fine” Tony huffed, swatting at him as he dabbed away another crust of blood, peering at the wound. It wasn’t that deep, but it had bled something fierce. Peter lifted his gaze, scowling at him.
“I’m not a kid!” He snarked, pressed a little too hard on the wound just because he could. Watched Tony flinch under his touch and instantly felt guilty. He pulled away the cloth and ducked down, pressed a kiss to the wound before he could ever think about it. Aunt May had always done it for him, kissing his ouchies better. He froze, lips against jagged skin.
“Kid” Tony rasped, looking down at him with wide, dark eyes. Peter jerked backwards, and huffed.
“Keep calling me kid, I’m gonna start calling you ‘old man’“ he scowled. He was about to say ‘Or worse, Dad’, but…That was a bumpy road and he wasn’t ready to loose whatever he had built with Tony. Not yet. The older man snorted back at him, eyes rolling, and reached out, fingers closing around his jaw gently to shake his head a little.
“Look at you. You are. That little baby face. And you’re so small, like a cat. All slender. Couldn’t even lift up the gearbox. All big eyes and too must trust. I could’ve been an old pervert or sex criminal and you just walked right up to me and wouldn’t leave” Tony murmured, voice half-gone and gaze fixed on where he held Peter’s jaw.
“Wouldn’t - Did not” Peter managed, though he was already getting hard, his breathing was already a little shorter. Sharper. Tony gave a deep breath, fingers flexing against his jaw.
“You’re just a kid. A little baby. All soft-cheeked and gentle. You’re a kid now and you’ll be a kid for a long time. Nothing like me”.
And. Huh.
Peter blinked, jaw still clasped in Tony’s grip, and he relaxed his body, inching a little closer. “What is it about that, then? Why is that such a bad thing?”
“Its not. Its not bad. I’m just…I’m the bad one. Christ. Kid. You’re - You sit here doing homework. You don’t even have facial hair yet. I bet you haven’t even popped a stiffy before”. The words startled Tony as much as Peter, both visibly jolting, and Tony immediately looked like he wanted to die.
“Hey! Not true! Every night this holiday I’ve done more than ‘pop a stiffy’ over y-”. Peter bit down on his tongue, hard, watched the way Tony’s eyes widened. Fuck. They both jerked backwards, equally as taken aback by the revelation. There was no doubt as to what Peter had been about to say. Now way he could laugh it off or change it; though the subject was bad enough.
“I…”
“Kid…”
Peter huffed, leaning back on his haunches and dropping the cloth. “What, you got a kink for the word or something, Mister Tony?” Peter grumbled, but he could see Tony physically tense up opposite him, and he looked up, watched the almost shameful way that Tony turned his gaze away.
It hit him.
“You…Do” he huffed numbly.
“Its not…Christ. Peter. I’m not a…I’m not attracted to kids. I don’t know what it is. I just…Fuck. Maybe you should be calling me an old pervert. Fuck. I…Peter. You have to believe I don’t..I’ve never touched a kid. Never. My youngest partner was twenty when I was thirty. She was a hooker in Dubai and…Wait. You’re a fucking kid. I shouldn’t be talking about hookers and swearing and-”
Peter clamped a hand over Tony’s mouth, shaking his head. Jesus. He knew it was true, though. Tony was a recluse and laughably inept at anything social, but he wasn’t some scorned kiddie-toucher banished to a quaint little town.
“I know, Tony. I know. And I believe you. But if its not that, then…What is it?”. Tony only blinked at him slowly, for several beats, and it was then that Peter realised that his hand was on Tony’s mouth, and the man couldn’t speak. Though he could well have moved it himself. He let it drop, flushing.
“I don’t know” Tony croaked helplessly, and he looked so small, so lost. It was instinct that had Peter leaning forwards, gathering Tony in a tight embrace. The older man stiffened, but then relaxed, hand hesitantly falling to Peter’s side, featherlight like he was scared to touch him.
“Its…You’re so delicate. So…Untouched. Like a painting. Pretty. You shouldn’t be touched. Not yet. Not by me. But I want to”. It made Peter’s spine tingle and arch, letting out a surprised breath against the curve of Tony’s jaw. Tony made him sound like the Mona Lisa or something.
“I’m not a good person, Peter. I’m…All these months, you don’t even know my last name. Half the town thinks I’m a murderer or some kind of lunatic. But I’m worse than that”. Tony practically breathed it into his shoulder, head falling. Peter clutched at him, suddenly scared. Worse than those things?
“Tony Stark”.
Peter paused. Was silent for such a long time that Tony tensed against him again, before he begun to pet gently at Tony’s shoulders. “…Who? I mean, the name is vaguely familiar. But…Who?”
Tony pulled away, leaned back, looking up at him with glossy eyes and a ludicrous expression. “Stark. Tony Stark”.
Peter raised a brow. “Bond, James Bond?”
“What? No. The weapons company? Stark Industries?” Tony asked after a pause, like it was information Peter ought to know. After another pause of his mind being ridiculously blank, Peter sat upright, head tilting.
“Oh! Yeah. Stark Industries. But…What about it?”
Tony blinked at him, slowly, like there was a punchline he’d missed, and then he was reaching out, crushing Peter to his chest to the boy fell half over him with a yelp, squeezing him gently.
“You’re - Unbelievable. Never change, kid. I’m…I did bad things. I killed people. Carried on the family name despite spending my life trying to outrun it. I…I was betrayed. So I fixed it, and I left. And I was supposed to keep my hands off anything good. Anyone good. And here you are”.
“Okay. Firstly? You gotta stop calling me ‘kid’ now I know its a kink and you don’t intend to do anything about it. Secondly…I don’t know what you did. Or what happened. But I know what you’ve been since you got here. Who you’ve become. And I think you’re a good man” he breathed, adjusting so he was no longer straining, half-straddling Tony.
“You shouldn’t…” Tony didn’t finish the sentence, and there were a million things he could’ve said. But Peter chose to ignore them all, squirming his way closer until he really was sat in Tony’s lap. And this was more than they’d ever done.
More than the one-armed hugs and lingering touches, more than leaning shoulder-to-shoulder eating noodles. More than Peter listing against Tony’s side in the early morning hours, maths homework forgotten on the bench and Tony sitting still, so still, so as not to wake him.
“I’m old enough to know ‘should’ and ‘shouldn’t’, Mr. Stark. Besides. This is just…Hugging. Right? Innocent” he hummed, even as he deliberately shifted on Tony’s lap, a little heavier than he ought to, spread his legs wider around Tony’s hips.
“Ki- Peter” Tony huffed against him, fingers tightening around the hem of his sweater. It wasn’t until Peter shifted again that he realised; Tony was hard. Well. Getting there, but hard enough for Peter to recognise it. To feel it, digging into the round meat of his asscheek.
“I don’t touch kids” Tony repeated, and Peter snorted softly, shaking his head as he gripped at Tony’s broad shoulders, muscle honed by years of hard work. Muscle that led up to rough stubble, a sharp jaw that Peter nosed at.
“Good thing I’m not actually a kid then, Mr. Stark. That means you can touch”.
Tony surged forwards on a growl, lay Peter out like a feast on the garage floor; but still hovered over him. Reluctant. Uncertain. Peter lifted his legs, wrapped them around Tony’s waist, tight and steady. “Kiddo…”
“Mm. Your kiddo. Or I could be. If you kissed me” Peter grinned, breathless and bold with the sweet taste of Tony so close. Mere inches. “Kiss me” Peter repeated, and Tony growled as he surged downwards.
When Tony came, it was with ‘kid’ sharp and electric on his tongue. And…Well. Peter felt a little mollified, so naturally, it led to round two, pressing Tony down against the concrete, milking him for all he was worth as a broken ‘Peter!’ cracked on his tongue like a prayer.
The rounds after that were just…Well.
Purely selfish.
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ihatecoconut · 3 years
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to the newsies
“Ok.” Katherine was standing on someone’s bed and waving her hands to get everyone’s attention. “Listen up idiots.”
Jack made an offended noise.
“Not you, Crutchie, you’re an angel and we’re glad you’re here.”
“You know,” Race said, kind of lazily from where he was sprawled out across the floor, “If someone had asked me when I first started remembering you guys who I thought would quote memes, my answer would not have been Kathy.”
There was laughter and agreement. Even Davey, who Race was pretty sure still felt out of place in their group despite having been there in the last century and now, laughed at that and made a comment about how he, personally, would have said Race.
“Are you listening or not?” Katherine demanded, once the noise had died back down,
“Yeah, babe,” Sarah called, “we’re listening.”
Katherine took a moment to smile lovingly down at her girlfriend. “Thank you, now, as I am sure you are all aware it is nearly 120 years since our successful strike!”
Apparently, most of the people in the lodging-house turned boy’s home were not aware of this fact, as the room erupted into shouts and confusion, most of the old newsies cheering at the fact that their impact had lasted that long, while others were just expressing their shock at how long it had been.
“In fact!” Katherine continued over the noise, “It will be exactly 120 years on Saturday!”
“What d’ya wanna do about it, Ace?” Jack called back.
“I think,” she replied at a more normal volume since the room had quietened back down to hear what she had to say, “that we should go on some sort of outing to visit everywhere that was important to us last time.”
“That’s really sweet.” Davey said, sounding a little surprised. “I like it.”
“Thank you.”
“Ok, it’s a fun idea,” Spot objected, “but I’m not walking all the way around New York, and I can’t afford the metro.”
“You used to walk all the way around New York,” someone near the back pointed out,
“And further.” Another voice added.
“I’ll pay for it.” Katherine announced, before Spot could get up and work out who was mocking him- she could see it was the twins from her vantage point but wasn’t about to tell him that- “It’ll be fun!”
There were a few other mumbled complaints, enough people were working Saturday that it was agreed they would move it to Sunday instead, and the group split at their normal time to return home- if they didn’t live at Kloppman’s- with their futures looking happy.
*
“Where do you think Kath’ll take us?” Les asked once they had dropped off those who lived at Denton’s and were continuing back to their own house.
“Newsies Square, to start with,” Sarah said, “I mean that’s the most obvious, right?”
Davey nodded, “I’d say the lodging house but most of them already live there, so maybe some selling spots?”
“That place we used to go for water?” Les suggested,
“Jacobi’s.” Davey provided absent mindedly, “Probably, that was where we kind of met her for the first time.”
“Brooklyn as well,” Sarah suggested, “For Spot and Racer, and because that was where she used to live.”
Davey nodded again, “I’m sure she’s got a plan, you know Kath, she’s organised like that.”
*
“Hey.” Race’s voice came through the phone as soon as Spot hit the answer button.
“Hey yourself, what’s up?” He found himself smiling as he rolled over to look at his boyfriend through the screen- they had only put that label on themselves recently and it still gave Spot an odd floaty feeling whenever he said or thought it.
“Just wanted to talk,” Race replied, grinning back and mirroring his position, lying down with the phone propped up next to him, “what d’ya think of Kath’s idea?”
“I like it.”
“You like it?”
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?”
Race paused, rubbing his nose like he did when he was nervous- it was a gesture that had replaced putting a cigar in his mouth and chewing it- “Hotshot said you still haven’t been back to Brooklyn.”
“So?”
“Well, Kath’s probably gonna take us to Brooklyn…”
Spot rolled onto his back, careful not to upset how he had positioned his phone, so Race could still see him, “Yeah, I know that.” He snapped, and then winced, not meaning to sound as harsh,
“And you’re ok?” Race prompted gently,
“I am.” He said, a little surprised at how true the word were, “I don’t like going to Brooklyn with Hotshot because I don’t feel like their king anymore and they want me to stay in that position…” He glanced over, seeing Race looking at him with nothing but understanding, “I ain’t him anymore.”
“Who are you then?”
“I’m Spot Conlon, I’m your boyfriend, I’m Denton’s kid, I’m Niamh’s brother, I’m…” He trailed off, about to say that he was a newsie, but that wasn’t quite true anymore.
“A newsie?” Race offered, “Because we still are, even if we don’t sell papes anymore.”
“Yeah, I’m a newsie. And I’m a dancer.”
Race laughed from the other end of the call, “Not as good a dancer as me.”
“Nobody’s as good as you, babe.”
*
“Hey, Jack?”
“What’s up, kid?” Jack asked, shifting over so Albert could fit in next to him.
“Do you think that Kath’s idea is a good one?”
“Yeah, of course, why?”
He shrugged, unhelpfully, “Don’t know. Do you think she’ll take us to the cemetery?”
Jack realised almost immediately what was troubling Albert- there were many cemeteries in New York city, but only one where both of Albert’s mothers (this time and last time) had been buried, Albert himself had been buried there as well, last time. Jack was pretty certain that the only person that had seen it, beside Albert himself of course, was Race.
“Do you want to go to the cemetery?” He asked, trying to keep his voice neutral.
There was a pause and then Albert nodded, firmly, “Yes, I do.” He nodded again, red hair flopping about as if he was trying to convince both of them of this fact.
“Ok, then I’ll text her and make sure it’s on her agenda.”
“Thanks, Cowboy.”
“No problem, you gonna sleep here or back in your own bed?”
“Back in my own bed,” Albert replied, looking a little offended that Jack would think he needed that, “I’m not a little kid anymore.”
“Sure kid,” Jack laughed, dodging the pillow Albert proceeded to try and hit him with.
“We’re the same age!”
*
Sunday actually dawned bright and clear, despite the weather forecasts suggesting that it would rain all week.
Denton woke up everyone in his household- Hotshot, Smalls, Tommy Boy and Spot who lived there, and Sniper and Race who had stayed over- at just gone eight in the morning, resulting in six grumpy teenagers around the table at nine, fully dressed and eating breakfast.
“Alright,” he said as they were just about to leave, ignoring the way Spot groaned ‘not again’, “New York isn’t the best city ever, stay safe, listen to Katherine, don’t loose your money and keep phones out of the reach of pickpockets, everything clear?”
There was a dull chorus of “Yes Denton.” And he finally released them to make the trek across to Kloppman’s.
The Jacobs were already there when they arrived, making polite conversation with Kloppman, and drinking the coffee he provided, the coffee which Race immediately ran for after taking off his shoes. Kloppman simply shook his head at that- very used to Race’s antics after two lives of dealing with him- and gestured towards the cereal and other breakfast foods.
“We already ate,” Smalls told him, “And we already got a safety briefing from Denton before you do it too.”
Kloppman smiled at her, “I wouldn’t dream of telling you to be safe- Cowboy’d just ignore it anyway.”
As if on cue, Jack came stumbling down the stairs, thankfully fully dressed, and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, “I thought I heard people down here.” He said, plopping down at the table and pouring a bowl of cereal, “No Kath yet?”
“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Davey scolded slightly, “And, to answer your question, no we haven’t seen Kath yet.”
“She just texted me,” Sarah said, looking as disgusted as her brother at Jack’s eating habits, “She’s on her way, should be about ten minutes.”
Jack opened his mouth to speak, saw the looks on the twins’ faces, shut it, swallowed and then spoke, “I guess that means we’ve got ten minutes to wake everyone else up.”
Very soon after, the house descended into chaos as those of them who had been awake proceeded to move through the bedrooms, each using their own method to wake those unfortunate souls who were hoping to sleep in. Their unorthodox methods worked, however, and they were all packed into the kitchen when Kath arrived, the girls from Medda’s who had not slept at Denton’s with her.
“Let’s do this!” She announced to the kitchen, waving her list of places to visit, and- as if they had been awake for hours instead of mere minutes- everyone in the kitchen cheered loudly, shoving past each other to grab shoes and bags and anything else they had decided they needed for the day.
Davey had been right, the first stop on Kath’s itemised list was, in fact, Newsies’ Square. It had changed a lot since they had bought papers now, and their school was the building that had once been Pulitzer’s. The yard where Wiesel and the Delanceys had sold the papers was now the open area for the high school, and the buildings around had been modernised, re-painted or simply knocked down and rebuilt. The statue that Jack had climbed on to announce the beginning of their strike wasn’t there anymore, replaced with a small fountain. It was a little disappointing, but as most of them went to school there, they knew what had happened.
“Ey, Jack.” Race called, “Dare you to do your strike speech again.”
Jack waved him off, laughing among the calls for him to do it, and turned to Kath instead, “What’s next?”
Katherine just smiled mysteriously and led the way out. As it turned out, she had somehow managed to work out where each of their selling spots had been- everyone had their own spot in the 1890s, selling spots had been as much a part of newsies politics as their hierarchy within each borough. This part was much more popular than Newsies’ Square, with a few people actually crying when they saw the place they had spent their entire childhood last time. Some spots were almost the same as they had been a century ago, others had been built over and some had been a little destroyed, but they were instantly recognisable.
When they reached Jack, Davey and Les’ selling spot, Kath stopped again and consulted her list.
“We not going to Brooklyn now?” Race asked, “The rest of us sold there.”
“Later,” she reassured him, “I thought we’d do all of Manhattan first.”
“Alright,” Race said, apparently happy with her organisation, “Lead the way.”
*
They stopped at Jacobi’s for lunch, and unlike other parts of their history, this was a place that hadn’t changed- even Jacobi still ran the place, even if he didn’t seem to remember them, and he was as warm, fond, and utterly baffling as he had been before. The food hadn’t changed, even if the prices had adjusted with inflation, and they crowded around a table that wasn’t designed to hold that many people- Les sat under the table as he had always done when they had used it as a meeting house in the past, joined by a few other younger ones- but they made it work, sharing chairs and sitting on each other’s laps.
Davey found himself sitting on Jack’s lap, much to the amusement of his siblings, and managed to keep his blushing under control- they were still navigating their relationship in the 21st Century, it was different to the secret kissing in alleyways that they had done before- and despite being slightly too crowded, a little bit too warm and a little embarrassed, Davey was almost certain that nothing could ever be as perfect as it was just then.
Race danced on the table for them once lunch was finished, accompanied by a few others playing spoons. A few other customers laughed and clapped once they were done, but most of them gave the newsies looks that had them clearing out as soon as Katherine paid the bill, spilling out onto the street and laughingly mocking the lady who had told them they were ‘utterly uncivilized’.
Spot had an arm around Race’s waist in a possessive gesture that he never would have normally done, Jack had grabbed Davey’s hand as they had shoved past the younger ones to get out the door, and he could see others- Blink and Mush, Smalls and Sniper- also moving into gentle couples’ poses. The 21st Century had been good for all of them; there was enough food in their stomachs and they never had to worry about where their next meal was coming from, and they were all more open, more free than they had been when bound to the strict societal positions of the late 19th Century.
“Now,” Katherine said, beaming, “We go to Brooklyn!”
Racer and Hotshot both cheered; Spot didn’t, but his faced creased up into a smile that was very rarely seen, and the group of them followed after Kath.
*
It was nearly six in the evening when they finished, the group of them collapsing onto the grass in Prospect Park, a large tangle of limbs and happiness.
“Hey,” Spot said quietly into Katherine’s ear, having ended up right next to her, “thanks for this.”
She smiled back, “You’re welcome. I thought we might need this.”
He nodded and lay back down on his back, staring up at the clouds which were floating slowly overhead, a contrast to the hectic movement that their day had been.
“Kathy,” Jack said, leaning over Spot and Race, “we’ve still got one more stop, yeah?”
She nodded, “Back in Manhattan, yeah. We’ll rest first.”
Jack nodded in response, ignoring the puzzled looks that Race and Spot gave him, and pointing upwards at one of the clouds Spot had been watching. “That one looks like a fish.”
*
They left the younger ones- middle school and under- at the lodging house before they made their way to the final stop. The chatter from those who were still there died down as they approached the graveyard, nobody asked why they were there- Albert was leading and that gave most of them a good idea of what was happening. Davey and Sarah were confused, but they were polite enough not to ask.
“Trinity Church Cemetery.” Davey read as they went under the archway, still not asking questions, just stating facts.
“Trinity Church Cemetery.” Albert echoed from the front, as he moved through the stones, stepping towards a few small ones near the back. The rest of them followed him, fanning out behind him as he came a stop in front of a small plot of land that housed the DaSilva family- all generations of them, despite the fact that there were only a few marked graves.
He touched a small wooden cross first- obviously weathered and damaged by years of wind and rain- and then traced his fingers over the words on the small stone to the left of it. Race knelt down next to him, one hand sliding around Albert’s shoulders and pulling him into his side.
“His mother.” Jack said quietly, squeezing Davey’s hand unconsciously. “And from this life too.”
Katherine stepped forwards then, a few flowers in hand and placed them on the two graves. Albert smiled, a watery smile, but a smile none the less and they stood as a group until he turned back to the entrance.
“Thank you.” He said once they were back out on the street, “For coming with me.”
“Anything you need.” Davey replied, sliding an arm around him in a similar, but much more paternal way than Race had done. “We’re here for you.”
*
Someone had ordered pizza to the lodging house once they got back, Les and Crutchie had apparently made sure to save some for them, and they dug in with the expected vigour of teenagers who had been walking around all day.
Sarah climbed up onto the bed that Katherine had used only a few days prior to announce her idea and tapped a teaspoon against the coffee mug she was holding. “Attention, please.”
They all turned to her, some still eating, but all listening.
“I want to thank Katherine for taking us out on this trip. I think we all needed it.”
“To Katherine!” Blink shouted, raising his glass, and the rest of the room echoed him, accompanied by the clinking of glasses and mug knocking together.
Sarah climbed back down to sit between her brother and her girlfriend. “To the newsies.”
They both smiled at her, “To the newsies.”
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sarayajackson · 3 years
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BASICS
full name. saraya jackson favorite song. nightmare by pvris occupation. musician // actress // model // owner + audio engineer at The Dragonfly Room age. twenty-six gender. cis female (she/her) faceclaim. ryan destiny
birthday. january 6th, 1996 orientation. straight hometown. washington, d.c. nationality. american positive traits. friendly, creative, perceptive negative traits. self-centered, insecure, vain. hobbies. yoga, cars, partying, video games
TRIVIA
former addresses. washington, dc // los angeles, ca phobia. claustrophobia favorite music. rock disney princess. aya is a former child star, best known for playing the title character in the chloe clark franchise on disney channel musician. aya is a member of the band chasing sundays. she writes and produces music and has her own recording studio as well family. aya’s mom lives out in california, but her dads live in huntsville. she’s lived in town since she was a teenager
NOTABLE ROLES
Chloe Clark // Chloe Clark, The Chloe Clark Movie // Disney Channel Brook Brown // Cloverleaf // ABC Zoey // Comicbound // Disney Channel
BACKGROUND (cw: teen pregnancy, emotional abuse, alcohol and drug use)
Aya is the daughter of Tiffany Jackson, an actress, and Peter Chambers, an architect.
Tiffany and Peter met in high school, and they never dated. They had a casual thing going on during their senior year, and Tiffany made sure to constantly remind him that she was going to LA as soon as she graduated to start her career as an actress. Staring down a positive pregnancy test just a month before graduation was definitely not part of Tiffany’s plans.
She agreed to stay in DC to raise her daughter with Peter, but if there’s one thing Tiffany was never good at, it was settling. So before Aya’s first birthday, she packed her bags and went to California anyways. It took a couple years of constant auditions and small roles, but Tiffany finally started booking the kind of roles that would move her career along.
Tiffany was an absent mother, and maybe that was part of why Aya idolized her at such a young age. Wanting to be just like her mom, and to get attention from her mom, Aya voiced an interest in becoming an actress too. Peter was against it, at least while she was so young, but that didn’t stop Tiffany from using her connections to get Aya an appointment with her agency.
Aya’s first role was in a national toy commercial, which led to a handful of TV and movie roles. She then appeared in a movie with her mom, which gained Tiffany more positive attention and made Aya a household name. By the time she was six, Aya had already been cast in one of the biggest roles in her life, playing the youngest daughter on a family drama called Cloverleaf (think Parenthood or This is Us, but a little bit older and still popular years after going off air). 
After five seasons of Cloverleaf, Aya started working with Disney Channel. She had a recurring role for two seasons of a superhero comedy called Comicbound. After that, Disney signed her to play the title character in their new series, Chloe Clark. It was one of Disney’s most popular shows.
(tw: emotional abuse) While on Disney Channel, Aya entered a very public relationship with fellow Disney star, Jaxon Hayes. They seemed like the picture perfect couple, always smiling on red carpets and at Disney events together. But in private, Jaxon was very cruel. He was constantly putting Aya down, telling her that she was worthless, ugly, had no talent, and that she was only famous because of her mom. Aya believed every word he said.
Dating Jaxon while living with her mom took a toll on Aya’s emotional wellbeing. While she enjoyed acting and being on set, the whole reason she had started doing it in the first place was to get attention from her mom. Tiffany hadn’t paid attention to her in a long time, often busy with her own projects. So, when Chloe Clark finished, Aya announced she was taking a break from acting. Jaxon broke up with her not long after that, saying he needed someone who was better for his image.
Now sixteen, single, and having a lot more free time than she’d ever had before, Aya took advantage of Hollywood’s party scene. She started experimenting with drugs and alcohol. It was a fun, but more importantly it was an escape from all the negative feelings she had about herself. But it all came crashing down when she was arrested for drug possession. Ultimately the charges were dropped, but not before news leaked out to the public about her wild night.
After the arrest, Aya was sent to live with her dad. He was no longer living in Washington DC, and had instead relocated to his husband’s hometown of Huntsville, Ontario. Aya was dreading the move, going from a big city to a small town in another country (even if that country was just Canada) but she ended up loving it. Her dad and stepdad’s home was so warm and inviting, even though she didn’t make their lives easy. She was constantly sneaking out of the house, cutting classes, lying, borrowing their car without permission, etc. 
Aya got more into music around this time. She could play guitar and sing already, but she started taking her little hobby a lot more seriously. She spent a lot of her time at home practicing, writing songs, picking up new instruments.
After graduating high school, she decided to stay in Huntsville so she could be near her dads. She didn’t really have any interest in going back to LA. Huntsville was such a small, quiet town and while people know she’s famous, she can just be an almost normal person here.
She considers herself retired from acting, but she’s done a movie and a few TV guest star roles in recent years. And whenever there’s any kind of Comicbound or Chloe Clark reunion, Aya’s happy to fly out to New York or LA to be part of it. 
Meanwhile, in Huntsville, she is a member of the band Chasing Sundays with Veronica and Cyrus. She also bought a small house and converted it into a recording studio.
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Criminal Minds S3E20
Lady in Green Shirt (Born: June 21, 1971)
Union Square 2008
I was born Mary Ann Greene in a small hospital in Virginia to high school sweethearts and recent graduates David Greene and Linda Regan. After deciding to throw a picnic for Linda, they hiked out of the city to get a great view of the Blue Ridge mountains while eating the peanut butter and honey sandwiches he packed. From what I’ve heard he was thrilled to be a father and wanted nothing more than for me to be safe and healthy for him to hold. My mother, while loving me all the same, was scared as she was still young. However they felt about my existence, she went into labor on the side of the highway overpass on their favorite picnic blanket.
I often wonder if the fact that my first breath of air was made of the mountains and the streams that surrounded us affected my soul.
My first memory is simple and sweet, consisting of my dad chasing me around a park trying to tickle me. Being an only child, I was the only person in the world who got to feel the love that he felt for his children. His eyes were a deep, chocolate brown and held more comfort than anything else on earth could offer. Every Sunday he woke me up by singing his favorite song of the week and would put my hair up in elaborate hairstyles. He used to help his mama put her hair up like this so he was the best for the job.
When I moved to New York City in 1988 for college, I had no idea what to expect about the city or the dreams that I had. I was hoping to work my way through college and attend law school so I could work in the government, but I was afraid that I would just be taking the easy way out like my mom told me I always did. After moving into my university provided housing, I thought that I was the happiest I could ever feel. I joined a sorority and made passing grades in all of my classes, but what I really loved doing is what happened outside of the university walls.
New York in the late 1980s and early 1990s was the most influential place you could drop an 18-year-old in. I always felt like the second that I woke up after my first night in the city, I was a different person than I had been before. Everyone back home in Virginia warned me not to get all “yankee” on them, but I never wanted to be from Virginia anyway. 
My roommate's name was Helen and we immediately became the most chaotic duo I can think of. Helen and I were kicked out of bars and restaurants for unintentionally being too loud while laughing at each together. For our freshman year, we single-handedly kept our friend John in college by buying drugs from him. But those experiences aren’t the ones that I feel impacted me the most.
I met Jeremy while doing research in Bobst for a history term paper I was writing. He was doing equations for his mathematics major and he needed help finding a pencil sharpener. He had eyes that were like sparkling copper and his hand on your shoulder when he had asked was warm and strong. 
For your first date, he bought you chinese food to eat in the park. He told you about his family and his friends and how he wanted to be a professor to do research. When he spoke his eyes sparkled like he was dreaming. You sat talking for five hours while the world carried on around you. He always took my full attention away from the world and reassured me. He listened to me and my world and helped me with anything I needed. In return, I loved him equally and discussed his dreams with him. After he graduated the next year, we got married with no celebration and settled down in the lower east side. 
Because I dropped out of college to live with him, I had to work some waitress jobs on Delancey Street. While I was always fine, it felt really unsafe and unsettling at times when I had my late night shifts. Since I didn’t grow up in the city, I was still wary about the buildings towering over me as I walked and the night amplified those feelings.
Jeremy worked a job that kept us afloat, and luckily when I got pregnant in 1998 we had enough money and his insurance to help us through the process. Her name is Lilian Rose McCarthy and she has his eyes and personality and my heart. When she was first born, the world felt like it had created a new color with the way I had such a new perspective on life. 
Obviously, soon after Lily was born New York went through a tough change as the attack on the twin towers changed everyone's lives. Jeremy was working his job in the financial district when the planes hit and he hasn’t been the same since. Where he used to be caring and focused and strong, he is not confused and angry and almost aggressive. I ignore it the best I can, life has been hard. At least I have my perfect Lillian to help keep me grounded.
She goes to a school that is praised for their programs and she loves to drink grape juice and write poems. She doesn’t remember her dad before he became so distant. After she began going to school, I picked up a job as a paralegal in New Jersey to help pay for her extracurriculars as time went on.
As I was standing on the platform waiting for the train to take me to the Grand Central Station so I could get over to work over the river while thinking about everything that I’ve been through. We were headed home for my mom's funeral this weekend and it has been really hard on my father. I’m standing on the platform when they put me in a tv show.
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playquiz · 4 years
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Why I didn’t eat for 72 hours
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At 2:30 pm on Sunday, February 25, she stopped eating for 72 hours until 2:30 pm today, Wednesday, February 28.
Which raises the question: "Why do you do that?"
why not? I love testing my mental stability, and after all, I read about the benefits of more extended fasting, he was eager to take advantage of the positive effects. Why fast? We eat at regular intervals every day for many reasons, but perhaps the main reason is that we have been adapted this way. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner are recognized on the day when most people stop eating, and as if that was not enough, there are also opportunities for food between those meals called "snacks." But there's no fixed biological rule that says we need to eat every 4-6 hours, but we've trained our bodies with these regular eating patterns to feel hungry at these times and because it makes it a more social event. We are told that if we don't eat regularly, all sorts of harmful things that may happen to us for a long time "little and often" is the slogan. But human species would not have survived as long as they exist if regular eating is a necessity. Fasting has never been promoted because it is a concept that no one will make money because it will not contribute to the sales of the comprehensive display of snacks that have become available over the past five years and are worth billions. Many foods in our modern diet (especially cereals and sugars), along with eating always, have made our bodies lazy and have stopped their ability to work in their energy stores. Fasting forces your body to function as it is designed and able to get rid of various sources of fuel. I have tried intermittent fasting for eight years now and have tried many different methods, but so far it has been my most extended speed for 24 hours, usually once a week. The health benefits of fasting As is often known, short-term discomfort can lead to long-term benefits, and this is what attracts me in these crazy experiences, and I like to try them. But much research has shown that there are many benefits to fasting. The body reacts well to acute (non-chronic, which has quite the opposite effect) and exits the other side stronger. Getting out of your comfort zone causes your body to thrive and become weaker as a result of not doing so often enough other parts of our lifestyle, not just in terms of nutritional terms. Self-phagocytosis (literally "self-eating") is central to the benefits of fasting and is essentially a biological process that plays a significant role in the body's ability to detoxify, repair, and renew itself. By activating the autophagy process, your body will start killing or eating cells that accumulate as a result of your lifestyle or cleaning dead, diseased or worn-out cells. But some of these elements are difficult for us to control. It is like our bodies built-in a recycling system that allows us to work more efficiently and help ward off many diseases, including preventing the growth and development of cancer. Not only that, but low autophagy (a condition in which many diets leave us) leads to accelerated cell aging. It's also amazing how much research has focused specifically on how fasting promotes autophagy in the brain and can be a very effective way to slow neurodegeneration that can help protect against Alzheimer's and Parkinson's disease. On top of all this, regular fasting helps reduce chronic pain, rheumatic diseases, high blood pressure and anything related to inflammation. Fasting is much more beneficial than just stimulating the removal of all old cellular parts and damaged toxins, as it stimulates the human growth hormone (which has decreased in my life about 40% since I was in my twenties) which enables our bodies to start producing some of the cells that Recently Renovated, HGH is also responsible for maintaining and building lean muscle mass that when in their forties is not as easy as it used to be. Extended fasting forces the body to use stored glucose and fats, but it also breaks a large portion of white blood cells. If you know the role that white blood cells play about our health, this does not sound good news. Still, the depletion of white blood cells causes changes, even with a short 3-day fast that has been shown to replenish immunity. The system begins with research that indicates the starvation of a kick. The body's stem cells produce new white blood cells, which fight infection. Scientists also found that prolonged fasting also reduces the enzyme PKA, which is associated with aging and a hormone that increases the risk of cancer and tumor growth. But you have to get rid of old things before you start bringing in new ones, so the process of destruction is just as necessary as the process of creation. What stops autophagy? Eating food. It does not take much, and for this, the autophagy is unique to fasting and something. So  How do you fast then? Do not eat anything. Drink only water. Not much, not much. • Do the same activity for you. Sleep as much as you feel you need. I went to live as usual (although it was -8 here in Switzerland so I didn't walk as much as I usually do) and did two sessions about right or wrong body weight, one on the first day and the other on the third day. The advice also tends to make sure you spend a week not eating a lot of carbohydrates, reduce your caloric intake a little and try some short fasting. But I always eat more at this time of year and more carbs, so I didn't follow the rules there either. The only thing that I thought was good is that February is not a month of coffee for me, so there are no caffeine withdrawal symptoms for anxiety. What happened when fasting? Sunday at 2:30 pm they ate the last meal Weight: 57 kg The first day: Monday 6:30 am: Wake up, leave the rest of San Pellegrino from last night. Weight: 56.7 kg 7 am: I had to prepare breakfast for the rest of the family and prepare packed lunches that weren't a big deal today because I wasn't hungry at all and usually don't eat until 10:30 am anyway. 8.30–9.30 am a boot camp with mainly bodyweight exercises but few with extra weight. It was 8 o'clock outside this morning, so we made the indoor choice. As I said, the advice is not to participate in any "formal" exercise, but so far, my day is, as usual, I ignored it. Take sips of water throughout the exercise and may only drink 250ml of water. Midnight: The first sign of hunger as I felt (and heard) my destroyed stomach but wore quickly after two cups of warm water. I discussed putting a slice of lemon in there but then decided I didn't want my taste signal to stimulate my body to digest mode. 2.30 pm: 24 hours of fasting and feel good. It's strange because I did a lot of fasting 24 hours (usually one per week), and I'm always happy when it's time, and I can eat again but this time is different. Since I know, I cannot eat for another two days. My body is not asking for food. I am fascinated to see what "real" hunger looks like. 4:00 pm: I went to buy food! How inappropriate it is for my family to keep eating all this time (totally not suitable for children by the way, just in case you thought this was a serious comment). I bought some of the things I used to breakfast and even seeing a tattoo of all the food didn't make me want anything. I have always had a strong determination to take on any challenge that I have seen, and this is no different. I even made banana bread (which I love) and prepared carrots and chickpeas for girls after having a snack at school. 7.00 pm: I'm still not hungry, it's the weirdest thing. It might contain about a liter and a half of water yet. You must be careful not to drink too much. 8:00 pm: Time seems to be moving slower... It is very productive and does not eat. I have accomplished so much! 10:30 pm The second day: Tuesday 6:30 am: I woke up after a perfect sleep but felt a little shaky. He had some warm water and sat for only 10 minutes. After about an hour, I felt normal again. Weight: 55.6 kg 10:30 am: Even though I haven't eaten more than 44 hours yet, I'm still not hungry. Don't worry, though, my mind feels some mystery. I wonder if this is from toxins coming out of damaged cellular material and throwing them into the bloodstream? I don't feel tired or lethargic. 2.30 pm: 48 hours. 24 hours to go! 7.00 pm: Hungry at dinner time, but I still prepare dinner and sit with my family while they were only eating to be social. I love to challenge myself! 8:00 pm: Fasting and hunger cannot be noticed when you are busy, so it was a good opportunity to be truly productive. 9:00 pm The Epsom salt bath was bothering me, so I went straight to bed after 10 pm. The third day: Wednesday 6:30 am: I woke up feeling shaky again and made a decision not to do Bootcamp today... but then I felt fine and changed my mind and thought I would do as little or as much as I could. Weight: 54.6 kg 8.30–9.30 am. I surprised myself and worked pretty much as usual, which I found very strange due to the lack of glycogen in my muscles. He even threw a few batches there! A little excited to eat again later in the day, and I'm glad I started fasting at 2:30 pm, which isn't long to wait for now. Midnight: It seems like the day is going slowly. Strange I don't have these outages in the food, but I think I am beginning to expect this now until my mind gets ready and becomes patient. So, write this blog to keep it busy. 2.30 pm It's over, I did. 72 hours without food. But what is happening now? How do you end fasting? How to end fasting "safely." "Refeeding" is the process of providing food steadily to your body in a way that does not completely break down your system. The most significant danger is something called a refeeding syndrome, as reinserting food increases insulin to the point that causes an unsafe situation. It is often a worry about fasting five days or more, and when you lose a lot of body weight. To prevent this from happening, you must steadfastly resubmit foods to the body over a day or two, and move steadily to the top of how difficult it is to digest something, ending in meat. Some say that you should refeed any number of fasting. But what I find strange is that many tips on fasting indicate that you should start with fruits and vegetables because they are easy to digest. Plants make sense, but fruit? Most fruits have a relatively high glycemic index, which means a significant rise in insulin. I no longer eat a lot of fruit anyway stuck with some green vegetable soup. I'm also going to dynamically relocate the small intestine (healthy bacteria that live inside your gut) in the next few days with some vegetable powders, pickled cabbage and kefir, which are all great sources of probiotics. The next thing on the list is desiccated coconut meat because it is shallow in blood sugar and rich in fat, which is the only significant nutrient that does not increase insulin. What then? Overall, this was a very positive experience. My mentality has been tested again, which I think will always stand well about other challenges that come my way. There were hardly any negatives, and hopefully, the few positives have been entirely animated by the positives. It will be interesting to know how long it takes to replace glycogen and the weight of the water and how it will feel to re-enter the food. As I said, there is an incredible number of health benefits of fasting so I will continue intermittent fasting every day (fasting for 14-16 hours each day and having an 8 to 10-hour intake window is the preferred method). I will probably repeat fasting for three days like this every three months. Disclaimer: As with all self-experiences on your body, they are not suitable for everyone and if you have any doubts, consult your general physician before performing any type of fasting. For example, it is not ideal for pregnant women or children.
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remmiesaloser · 4 years
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13 Years | 4 Weeks
honestly, I dont know which of the two have been longer in my life. 
so recently I ended a 13 year long relationship with the guy I've been dating since my freshman year of high school. it took me this long to understand, acknowledge, and accept the relationship was emotionally (and borderline physically) abusive and thanks two my two best friends and a very nice therapist I asked him to move out.
I thought the overwhelming life style change would be the hardest. I haven't been alone since I was 14 and it took me a long time to build up the courage to end things because I am terrified of change and had little to no idea what to do without him. to my surprise I've adapted to being alone pretty well. the loneliness does get to me sometimes - I miss those moments we had where we could have a conversation without speaking. I miss over a decade’s worth of inside jokes, and it still hurts when I see something and instantly think of him cause it was our thing.
its a daily struggle to remind myself why I did this because its frighteningly easy to minimize the damage he did when he’s not here to do it every day. the gaslighting and emotional manipulation isn't something that just switches off or diminishes with distance. somehow, in some super shitty, unfair way, it gets worse. because im left alone with my thoughts that he’s managed to turn against me and they’re still working angles for him that catch me off-guard sometimes. I still battle with guilt for making him move out, because I feel terrible that now he’s stuck living with his mom and all his things are in boxes. and I hate that it’s gonna take a long time for that to go away. 
but I digress. because all of that isn’t the hardest part. the hardest part is getting him the fuck out of this apartment. we 'ended things’ April 5th. there are quotes around that because we haven’t officially broken up. like, I told him I needed a break till he gets his shit together, and he’s all but moved out, but I haven’t even changed our relationship status on Facebook (yay, guilt!) and we haven't really agreed that we’re broken up. Jesus, again I digress. ANYWAYS. I knew it was gonna be a process to move him out because our lives are so intertwined that we’ve had to go through rooms and drawers and boxes one by one separating our shit. and this process has been fucking agonizing because he is dragging his goddamn feet. 
Initially I thought we were gonna bang this out in a weekend, get all the shit out and be done. A month later, and there’s still a pile of his shit at the top of the stairs, a handful of things in the corner of the living room (including the giant china cabinet filled with his things) and his grandmother’s dishes in my cupboards. but that’s a post for another day. because right now im just gonna vent about him taking his sweet ass time, being insanely petty, and still somehow fucking manipulating me when he doesn’t even live here anymore. 
honestly the pettiness and inconsideration for my own time and requests is the biggest thing that’s getting to me, what’s driving me to write this. most of the time he’s been here for his shit, his mom’s been with him, and I was chalking up a lot of the pettiness to her. because he’d be here to get the things from the living room, and hours after they'd left I’d notice small things had been taken from other parts of the house. now some of the stuff he’s taken was his, just something I was using with him that I’d assumed he’d at least mention he was taking. im a lot of things, but selfish isn’t one of them and honestly unless it’s something from my family or something that I bought that was expensive, I don’t care. he can have it. It’s more the fact that, when I need something all of a sudden I cant find it and realize he took it. 
like, his nana’s pots and pans. They’re a really nice set his mom let us have and I fully expected them gone. my only request was that he give me a heads up so I could go out and get my own set when he planned to take them because with them gone, all I’d have left is a few frying pans. This is our conversation from that weekend:  
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This was Saturday afternoon. He never told me he wasn’t going to come by Saturday, and gave me a 15 minute heads up he was on his way over on Sunday - which did me no good because I wasn’t even home. That meant I couldn’t clean out the dressers (I didnt want to do it until the day he was going to get them because I would have to leave my clothes on the bed until I could get my own dresser from my parent’s house once his were gone). When I got home, all of my clothes were thrown on my bed and the ground.I had to rewash a bunch of shit, refold everything, and then clean the entire room from the mess that was made. 
fucking on top of that, his mom decided to take the pots and pans. I’d specifically asked him Saturday because I was going to Walmart and could have bought a new set for myself while there. I didn't want to buy them until I needed to because I’m trying to save money and didn’t get paid that weekend, so I figured if he’s not taking them I don’t need to get things until I get paid next weekend. Wrong. I had to go out that night again and get a set because, as I said, all I had were 3 frying pans and a skillet thing. Oddly enough, she didn’t take the dishes. They were her mom’s, just like the pots and pans, and for some reason she didn’t want them... don’t worry, I already plan to pack them up this weekend and give them back because lord knows what’ll happen if I dont and she decides she wants them six years from now. 
honestly though the biggest level of petty was the Tylenol PM. I know, it’s not a big deal. But it’s just one of those little things that I stopped and was like, are you fucking kidding me. I noticed that, after taking his bed and dressers, the pack of tissues he’d got us from Sam’s was gone. Again, he bought them, whatever. would’ve been nice for him to tell me so I had a heads up to fucking get them when I was at Walmart but whatever. he also took a 6-pack of toilet paper he’d gotten literally the day we ended things (because he’d gone to king Soopers with his mother instead of talking to me about the fight we’d had) and he’d initially told me to keep it, it was for me anyways. I noticed just last weekend it was gone. 
but the fucking Tylenol PM. I'm not one to buy brand name medicine. if I can get store brand, I will. Almost all my medicine is store brand except that Tylenol PM because I was really sick one year and wanted the good stuff. Y’all know how expensive Tylenol is. I sprang for it, and I used it sparingly because I didnt want to have to buy more if I didn’t really need it. Well, two weekends ago I fell down a fucking mountain. I was running a trail down a mountain, tripped, flew through the air, and landed on my shoulder and kneecap. It still hurts, and that day I was in a lot of pain. The regular Tylenol and Ibuprofen that I’d been switching back and forth with all day just wasn’t doing the trick and I was like, okay. this is a Tylenol PM kind of pain. That night, right before bed, I went to grab it from the bathroom cabinet. 
it was gone. the rest of my medicines, the store brand acetaminophen and store brand ibuprofen, those were still there, but the Tylenol PM was gone. It has exclusively only lived either on the dresser/nightstand in the bedroom, or the bathroom cabinet. as he took the dresser and nightstand, and it wasn’t in the cabinet, it had been taken. I cannot tell you how livid I was. it still pisses me off. because of all the things to take he took that. Not the rest of his bathroom shit, not even all his shit from the bedroom. but he took the Tylenol PM. I even asked if he knew where it might be - thinking he’d come across it at some point. he told me “it’s always been in the linen closet” where the rest of our medicines are. It was never there, but I checked the entire closet just in case - nothing. Again, I know it’s small. it’s just a bottle of pills. but it’s the whole damn thought behind it. 
there’s more things too - the fact that no, he doesn’t take all his things from a certain room, and I have to then box the rest of his shit up, move it out of my way, and clean the room that he trashed. 
It’s the fact that 90% of the things on our walls were his (which helps show me how little say I had on my own things in the apartment I exclusively pay for) and now that he’s taken them, he’s left the walls, hooks, and nails behind. most of them are up way above my head - he needed a ladder to put them in - and now they’re littered all over the wall. today, as he worked to get the shit from our front bedroom (hopefully the last things he’ll need to get) I asked him if he could also get the nails and hooks out of the wall because I can’t reach them. he asked me, “did you try using the step-ladder?”. I answered no, and he simply said, “that should work then”. Like, no. you put those up, so you could display all the things of yours YOU wanted to display (3 out of 4 walls in the room were covered with his things) and now he can’t even take the tacks down even though he took the hangings down. 
and then of course, it’s the fact that he just leaves a mess in his wake. when he first moved things out of the living room it was a mess. I spent hours rearranging shit, packing up the rest of his shit that he left behind, and then cleaning up everything because I still have to live here. it was the same with the bedroom. and now it’s gonna be the same thing with the front room. I told him today that everything needs to be out by next weekend because I can’t do this every weekend. He asked what I meant by ‘this’ and explained that I was tired of having to clean up everything that got messed up. He told me simply “it’s not being destroyed. I’m just taking my things”. At the moment the entire room was in shambles, everything askew from him digging his things out and leaving my stuff lying in piles. It’s cleaned up now - save the pile of boxes and junk at the top of the stairs - but I told him I have to clean up the mess that’s left behind. He didn’t have an answer for that. 
Honestly there’s really not a point to this. I’m just pissed, I’m annoyed, and I’m angry, and I’m sad. I’m just tired. And I wanted to vent. So if you stuck with me through this, I wanna thank you for listening. I appreciate being heard, because I haven’t been for so long. your time means a lot to me. 
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purplesurveys · 4 years
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633
If you had a parrot, what would be the first word you would teach it? I’d probably teach it something polite because I’ve noticed all parrot owners almost always teach their birds bad words lmao and it’s not that funny anymore. I wouldn’t be opposed to teaching them some lame slang too, like ‘it’s lit’ haha.
What food have you eaten the most lately? Instant noodles because my mom finally gave in to our requests and started buying packs of our favorite brand again. Some context: it was almost all we ever ate as kids, so she stopped buying it for a while (and rightfully so) because of all the unhealthy stuff that’s in it.
Where you ever a Pokemon fan? I was a huge fan from the ages of 8-10. It started when my cousin got Pokemon games on his Gameboy Advance, and then it spilled over to us watching the anime every night and eventually, I collected the cards and pogs as well. We also bought one of two volumes of the Pokemon Omnibus books that they released.
How would you describe the taste of water? It’s just tasteless to me, but then it tastes so refreshing. I know water isn’t good enough if there’s a certain taste that comes along with it, because it’s supposed to just be tasteless and crisp. 
Do you think books are going out of fashion? Not at all. All my friends are into reading, and they never grew out of their bookworminess. Which is honestly great, because I wouldn’t want them to end up like me, who was a big bibliophile as a kid but eventually stopped reading.
One thing you miss about being a kid: Being able to make friends with anybody, whether it be a day-long bond or a friendship for the long run. I know it’s not applicable to all kids, but I’d say I was one of those who was able to blend in at birthday parties or daytrips to water resorts and all that stuff.
What is the best product made from milk? Meh, I’m not the best person to ask about this given that I’m lactose intolerant lololol, but I doooooo love mozzarella and ricotta cheese.
How would you feel if your husband didn’t want to wear a wedding ring? I’d be pretty puzzled if my future spouse wouldn’t want to wear theirs. I’d understand if they removed it for work, but I’d raise eyebrows if they didn’t want to wear it, period.
Do you say Autumn or Fall? My Southeast Asian ass can’t relate to either.
What is your biggest “what if”? I don’t have any, because I make it a point to avoid thinking about them. I’ve heard so many of my friends mull over their what ifs and how miserable they are about them, so I know better than to dwell on mine.
What is the worst movie you have ever seen? I had a go-to answer for this many years ago, but I forgot the name of the movie by now and I’m honestly glad that’s the case. But other than that, one of the all-time worsts is the Jack & Jill movie with Adam Sandler, and a recent bad one (for me) would be Knives Out. Of course, I never liked whodunits and I generally dislike dialogue-y and fast-paced movies, so I’m pretty biased in citing that.
Have you ever spelled your own name wrong? I don’t think so. Mine was the less popular spelling of Robin, so I definitely remembered to spell it properly because everyone else was already misspelling it.
What do you want your wedding song to be? I’ve never given much thought about this. Sparks by Coldplay was one of our og songs, but the most that it is right now is just a mere option. 
What is your favorite fairytale? I never liked fairytales.
True/False : If it’s meant to be, it will be. Not always. You have to work for it sometimes, too.
What electronic of yours dies the quickest? My phone, but that’s just because I had to pick and because, to be fair, I use it too much :(((( But I’m okay with the battery lives of all my gadgets.
Do you think we learn some useless things in school? Math and English have been pretty useless to me, but a lot of my other lessons, such as history, economics, physics, etc. still come in handy these days.
Do you feel like your life would be better without a certain person in it? Not really. I’m okay with the people I have now, family and friends alike. I tune out who I choose to tune out, and that’s enough for me.
Who has influenced your music taste the most? Athenna was a huge influence, which I feel bittersweet about now because I had to cut her out of my life a few years ago. She introduced me to Banks, Walk the Moon, and Twnety One Pilots, among other amazing artists. Gab has also been pretty influential – she’s made me a fan of alt-J, BP Valenzuela, Hozier, and a bigger fan of Coldplay.
What did you get your mom for Mother’s Day? We don’t really get her stuff. We greet her and have quality time together.
You go to the restroom and you see a huge spider, what do you do? Try to swat it out of the way.
what’s something you want but will probably never get? A PhD, because I’m too lazy to earn one haha.
Do you like reading scary books? I did enjoy reading my cousin’s Goosebumps as a kid, but I’m not into reading in general these days.
Is there a game your addicted to you? Currently, Luigi’s Mansion 3. <– Yooooo, my sister is OBSESSED with this game and watches playthroughs of it all day. She’s eyeing it as one of the next few games that we’re buying for the Switch.
Do you get embarrassed when your stomach growls in class? No. If anything that lets the teacher or prof know that I’m bored and/or hungry. Plus it’s an easy way to make the class laugh, and that’s always a good thing haha.
Do crying people make you uncomfortable? If it’s happy tears than yeah hahaha. If they’re sad tears I’m usually willing to be a shoulder to cry on. Would you ever marry someone your parents didn’t approve of? It’d be hard, but in the end it’s my relationship and they’d have no say.
Whats one thing you’re completely terrible at? Knitting. Origami. Any art stuff.
what is the nearest thing to you that is red? I’m very close to the wifi thingy that we have up on the rooftop and there’s a small red light coming from it.
what kind of camera do you own? I just use the one in my phone.
Do you look older or younger than your actual age? Younger. I’ve memorized the look of shock on people’s faces whenever I tell them I’m a senior in college.
Do you think tattoos are hot? No, but I don’t mind some tattoos.
What’s the worst thing about being a teenager? The confusion, all the hormones making you cranky all day, the pressure of which course to take for college especially when you’re nowhere near ready to make a choice.
What’s the best thing about being a teenager? It’s a period of experimenting, making strong friendships, and making mistakes and learning from them.
When did you last play Monopoly? I’ve never played Monopoly because I’ve never understood how it works.
Who do you trust with your secrets? My two best friends.
As a child what celebrity did you look up to? Probably Vanessa Hudgens back in her High School Musical days? Idk, she seemed like a good role model at the time.
Do you love food more than you love people? I probably do, haha.
True or False: you this read wrong Yup.
What do you usually do on a Sunday? My family goes to 9 AM mass, then we head out for lunch, go malling for a bit, take my sister back to her dorm in Manila, then we spend the rest of the evening at home.
Have you ever met anyone with the same Birthday as you? Yes.
Do you think underwater pictures look cool? I’ve never liked underwater photos ever since I saw that photo of that vacationing scuba diving couple with the dead girl in the background.
What is the most ridiculous law you ever heard about? Nothing comes to mind right now.
Zelda or Mario? Zelda (or Link, if you’re talking about the dude) story-wise, Mario for playability haha.
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goodnightkisseu · 5 years
Text
kim jongdae _ our song
Drabble: Jongdae, fluff, childhood friends “it’s our song!”
@trishmarieco “Hi, sweetie! May I request 2, 9, 4 with Jongdae please for the drabble game? Thanks so much in advance!!”
Genre: Fluff~
Note: This one was really a lot of fun. I got to do something a bit gentler with this that was a nice change. I hope that you all enjoy! As always, feel free to let me know what you think! ^^
Enjoy~
Also, because of the situation with tumblr links, please check my bio for links to my masterlist~
Drabble requests are open! You can also find the link to the drabble prompts in my bio ^^
- goodnightkisseu’s admin / ashley <3
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It had been a long and tiring weekend, but honestly, you wouldn’t have traded it for anything in the world. It all started when Jongdae showed up at your doorstep on Friday night. As kids, it was easy to meet up and hang out with each other. But when college and later work rolled around, it became harder for you to hang out with your childhood friend. It felt weird not being around each other as much as you used to, and in an effort to fix that, the two of you set aside Friday nights to hang out and do something together. Usually, it was dinner and catching up on your favorite television shows.
Tonight was different, however. Instead of showing up with take-out from your favorite restaurant, Jongdae was the only thing that showed up at your door. While you stood before him in your sweatpants, face now void of makeup, Jongdae was still in his day clothes, looking like he was ready to go somewhere. You had a handful of questions at the ready, but your childhood friend spoke up first. “I know what you want to ask me, and I promise that I’ll explain. But, I need you to start packing an overnight bag while I do so, okay?”
You abhorred being blindsided like this, but as it was Jongdae, you agreed. You pulled your bag from your closet and threw it onto the bed next to Jongdae as he started his little narrative. He asked if you remembered a kid from primary school named, Dongjun. You nodded. Dongjun was a close friend of Jongdae’s. He moved away some time in high school, but the two had reconnected recently. Apparently, apart from his day job, Dongjun helped his friend to run a series of pensions in the countryside. They would buy properties and fix them up so that they could be rented. Recently, they put finishing touches on their latest property, and Dongjun was giving Jongdae and a few others the chance to experience it before they opened it for rentals. The idea of a weekend getaway sounded amazing and he drove over to get you immediately.
As more of the plan was revealed, you would have been lying if you said that the rate at which you got all of your things together didn’t speed up exponentially. Pensions were always a lot of fun. You had been to one with Jongdae before when your university friends go enough money together to split one for the weekend. It was a nice place to relax and to see the surrounding areas. You were all for some quality time with your best friend too, so with very little fuss, you got the rest of your things together, changed into clothes that wouldn’t embarrass him, and the two of you were off.
The entire weekend came and went in the blink of an eye. You arrived there a little past midnight. The other guests that were invited had already arrived and chosen their lodgings. Unfortunately, Dongjun hadn’t planned for platonic plus ones, so you and Jongdae had to share a room and bed. Luckily it wasn’t awkward. Saturday was spent hiking with some of the other guests, taking a walk along a lovely path that led you up through the hills before winding back down. Sunday was spent exploring the town, going to the small shops and eating at the cafés. You spent some time on the pier, exploring the lighthouse before you bid everyone farewell and closed the chapter on your exciting weekend.
It was a little past six when the pair of you got in the car with the pastries you had bought and were on your way home. You talked about all of the things you had seen, about what had interested you the most. And just as you were about to tell Jongdae about something you had seen at the museum, the song playing over his stereo distracted you. “This song?” you asked with a giggle.
“It’s our song!” Jongdae replied with a chuckle of his own. “You remember it, right?” he asked.
Honestly, he didn’t even need to ask. As soon as the first verse started, you were belting out the lyrics you had memorized back in high school. It was the song that you had planned to enter the school’s talent show with, but with college exams around the corner, both you and Jongdae had to opt out of the competition. Still, it was a song that was still very dear to you, and the fact that it was a duet with Jongdae, made it more special.
Jongdae pulled the car over so that the two of you could wildly sing to your heart's content, acting out the little bits and pieces that you planned back then. When the song came to its conclusion, the two of you burst into a fit of laughter, surprised that the other remembered it so well. “We never got to perform this, huh…”
“No, we didn’t… but I think this makes up for that…” you said with a giggle when you finally caught your breath. That was when you saw the way that Jongdae was looking at you. The way his kind eyes just stared right into yours. They were gentle, they were caring, and your heart skipped a beat.
“I… I love you…” he said slowly as if something about this moment finally allowed him to admit the way that he had felt about you for years now.
You gave him a knowing nod. “I know. I love you too,” you told him earnestly, as he leaned over for a kiss. The pair of you had known for a while now, but neither of you made a move. Yet, it felt like something magical happened this weekend that allowed you both to say it so easily. As Jongdae started the car again, you gently reached over for his hand, giving it a light squeeze. Things would now be different between the two of you… but these moments together were still the best, no matter what you called each other in the future…
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winterune · 6 years
Text
A Persona 5 Fanfiction - Something Perfectly Normal
Word count: 3838
Summary: The second week of Ren’s transfer, the second Sunday. It’s his birthday and he doesn’t know what he should do.  
A/N: a self-indulgent fic I write for my birthday. So, this is a present from me to me, featuring Ren^^ (since Ren doesn’t have an official birthday). Set right after Ren transferred to Shujin Academy, so he’s still adapting to his new environment. It also contains some allusions to another p5 fic I’m currently writing about Ren’s past (the mentions of his mother and foster parents), and it’s my headcanon of who Ren is (helps me in writing his character too). I don’t delve too deep about them here though. 
The hum of the television filled the background. Another recap news of the recent psychological breakdowns. Ren was sitting on the counter with the usual serving of curry Sojiro gave him every morning.
“Do you have plans for today?” the middle-aged man asked from behind the counter.
The same question he posed last Sunday. Ren wasn’t sure if he meant well or he just wanted him away from café every day he had off. But his reluctant guardian hadn’t once looked at him, and he had his back to him. Indifferent. As long as Ren didn’t create any trouble, Sojiro didn’t care less what he did.
Ren shrugged. “I’ll go somewhere,” he said quietly.
Sojiro gave a noncommittal grunt.
Ren brought another spoonful of his curry into his mouth. It melted immediately and it was a struggle not to finish everything so quickly. Despite his attitude toward him, Sojiro’s really was the best curry Ren ever ate. Not to mention the coffees he brewed.
Out of the corner of his eyes, Sojiro seemed to notice Ren’s reaction to his breakfast. His lips stretched into a small smile though he didn’t comment on it.
On the floor to the side, Morgana was eating his own breakfast from a bowl Ren had bought at a nearby pet store. Filled with more of Sojiro’s cooking, of course. The cat had also preferred it to the cat food Ren had bought.
“You know…” Morgana said between mouthfuls. “I can never…get tired of this.”
Ren grinned. “Don’t talk while you’re eating, Morgana,” he said.
“Yeah…”
Sojiro chuckled. “Seems like he loves it.”
Ren’s grin faded. “He does.”
Sojiro glanced at him. “Make sure you bring him with you when you go out.”
“I will.” Ren finished his food and drink. “Thanks for the food.”
***
“Where are you going?” Morgana asked from inside Ren’s bag as they headed outside. The café had just opened but it was still too early for anything else to be open—except for the local stores.
“Somewhere,” Ren mused.
“Aren’t we going to head to the Palace today?” Morgana asked again.
“Not today.”
Morgana was silent for a moment, before asking again, “Then, what are you going to do today?” just as Ren stopped before the stairs up to a batting cage in the neighborhood. Morgana popped his head from Ren’s bag and peaked his head over his shoulder. “A batting cage,” he read the sign. “You’re going to a batting cage?”
Ren shrugged. “No harm in it.” He walked up the stairs, only to find the door to the batting cage closed.
“It’s closed,” Morgana commented.
I can see that, Ren thought to himself. There was a sign posted on the door.  “Opens at noon,” he read.
Ren didn’t move. To be honest, he didn’t have anything in mind—where to go, what to do. The Palace? They hadn’t prepared enough. Maybe he should just spend the day preparing for their infiltration.
“So, what are you going to do?” Morgana asked again.
Ren glanced at the cat staring at him from behind his shoulder. “Do you have fun riding in my bag?”
“Wha—”
Ren smirked.
And maybe because Morgana wasn’t exactly a cat, but Ren could see the slight stretch of his mouth to a reluctant smirk as he huffed. “Well, I’m going wherever you go,” he said and went back inside the bag.
“You’re heavy, Morgana,” Ren commented again.
“Shut up!”
***
His phone vibrated as Ren waited at the station for a train to Shibuya. It was Ryuji, asking when they were going to go to the Palace. Why was everyone asking him that?! Ren replied it wouldn’t be today.
“I’ll be hanging out in Shibuya if you changed your mind,” Ryuji replied Ren’s text.
Well, good thing Ren was going to Shibuya too. Maybe he’d see Ryuji for a while.
It didn’t take long to reach Shibuya and even in the morning, these parts were already so crowded. It had been two weeks since he moved here and he hadn’t had the chance to explore much of the city. With everything that went on at school, Kamoshida, and the discovery of the Metaverse, not to mention how everyone kept bugging him when to go, when to go, when to go every single time they saw him… Maybe he should take the time to explore today.
The stairs from the subway led to an underground station and somewhere in it, Ren saw a crowded drink stand. He had noticed the drink stand a couple times but it was never as crowded as it was today. As he approached it, he saw how the people behind the counter looked so busy and the queue was so long. A sign read “Sunday Special Drink”—and it was expensive. Not worth it.
Ren spent most of the day wandering aimlessly, Morgana sometimes giving unnecessary comments on whatever caught Ren’s interest. Unnecessary, but still a welcome nonetheless. It made him feel less lonely. He hadn’t felt this lonely in years. On this particular day. Maybe he should just buy something and be done with it. He could spend the rest of the day in his room. Sojiro wouldn’t mind that, right?
He did just that and went inside the first store he saw in the underground mall. A music store. Racks of CDs lined the wall. The store clerk greeted him as the door slid open for him. There were only a few customers beside him inside. He took a look around, but didn’t find anything that interested him.
“Do you have somewhere you want to go, Morgana?” Ren asked as he exited the store.
“Hmm… nothing in particular,” Morgana replied. “Though I wouldn’t mind going to Mementos.” Even from behind his shoulder, Ren could feel Morgana narrowing his eyes at him. “You promised you’d help me recover my memories.”
Ren sighed. “I promise, but not today, okay?”
“Hmph, yes well, it’s still a while before your expulsion. There’s no harm in taking a break once in a while.”
Ren nodded. “It doesn’t do well to rush things.”
Still, that didn’t answer his initial question. Where should they go? Ren wandered around the mall for a while, checking every store. Everything was so expensive. He had noted a store that sold things that might be helpful for their Palace infiltration. But he didn’t have that much money. Maybe he should look for a job? There was some part-time job adds outside if he wasn’t mistaken.
He was just finished looking around a flower shop when he spotted a familiar face walking down one of the corridors. Ann… in casual clothes. At the same moment, Ann noticed him there and her face broke into a grin.
“Hey!” she exclaimed, right hand reaching high in a wave.
Ren smiled and wove back.
Morgana, hearing Ann’s voice, immediately popped his head from the bag and climbed onto Ren’s shoulder. “Lady Ann!” to which Ren cringed slightly but couldn’t help the grin on his face every time he saw Morgana reacted to Ann.
“Hi, Morgana,” Ann returned his greeting with a bright smile, then shifted her gaze back to Ren. “What are you doing here, Ren?”
Ren shrugged. “Just walking around.”
“This guy can’t make up his mind where to go,” Morgana added.
“Oh! You haven’t had the time to explore, have you?” Ann asked. “Want me to take you around?”
“Where do you have in mind?”
“Umm… well…” Ann thought for a moment. “There’s a sweet shop, and a diner in Central Street… a buffet that’s rumored to be super good but super expensive, so that’s out of the question. Oh! They sell the best crepes just outside the diner! It’s really good. You have to try some!”
Ren chuckled. “Everything you’ve listed are all food.”
“Sweets, mind you,” Ann corrected. “And deserts.”
“Aren’t they the same?” Ren laughed.
“I’m interested in those crepes,” Morgana said. “What are they?”
“Oh, they’re—”
“You just ate, Morgana,” Ren said. “You’ll get fat if you eat too much.”
“Say what?!”
Ren laughed again. Really, it’s so easy to forget everything and enjoy himself when he was with his friends. “Do you know some place where you can just stroll around?”
“Hmm… there’s this park that I like to go to,” Ann began. “But it’s a ways away. Not anywhere near Shibuya. You need to take the train there.”
“Oh…” Ren thought for a moment. A park sounded good. “What’s this park called.”
“Inokashira. Want me to go there with you?”
Going there with Ann… if anyone saw them together, no doubt more rumors would spread. Half of him thought adding more false rumor to the already existent false rumor wouldn’t change his situation. But another half of him just wanted all this crap to die down soon and for people to leave him alone.
“I’ll pass. Maybe I’ll look around Central Street.”
Ann nodded, but she looked unconvinced. “Well, I’ll be here if you need anything. Just text me.”
Ren nodded. He waved her goodbye.
“You okay, Ren?”
Her question caught him off guard. Did his face betray his emotions? Or was Ann that observant?
Ren put on his usual smile. “I’m fine.”
***
Central Street was as packed as ever. Ren monitored his way through the sea of people and found himself in front of a bookstore. Just the thing he was looking for.
“Don’t you still have that book you borrowed from the library?” Morgana asked.
“I’m just going to browse,” Ren said before he entered the store.
That was indeed his initial intention. But being in the bookstore itself was another thing all together and in no time, he already had several books he wanted to buy in his hand.
“Aren’t those too many?” Morgana asked.
Three books. Not really. But maybe Morgana was right. He didn’t have that much allowance to begin with. It was easy to lose himself when he’s shopping for books.
“Why don’t you choose this for the moment?” Morgana asked, nodding at the cheapest one. It was thin—probably not even two-hundred pages. He’d finish it in a day.
“Nah, I’ll choose this one,” Ren said, going with a book about a dog. He didn’t really know what present to give himself. This should do.
***
“Oh! An arcade!”
Ren eyed the building, then eyed Morgana. “You can’t even play it.”
“Shut up, Ren!” Morgana snapped, but his eyes glowed again as he looked at the building in red. “Let’s go inside.” His eyes were practically bulging out.
Ren sighed and did as he was told.
Well, Ren had never played in an arcade before either. Never wanted to. Never had the time to. Never had a friend who asked him to. He never went inside one—had only just looked at it from outside. And… inside was exactly as how he imagined it to be. Aisles of game machines, children and teens of all ages—even adults—were using every single one, loud.
He didn’t like the place. Morgana didn’t seem to.
“Let’s go,” Ren said. And Morgana nodded his assent.
And just as they turned around to leave, they spot a slouched figure leaning against the vending machine. Purple jacket, blonde-dyed hair.
“Ryuji?”
Ryuji looked up at Ren’s voice. His eyes grew wide.
“What are you doing here?”
Ren approached his friend as he shrugged. “Just walking around.”
“He’s been walking around since morning,” Morgana popped up from the bag.
Ryuji jumped in surprise. “Dude! You’re still carrying the cat in your bag?!”
“Mor-ga-na!” Morgana emphasized each syllable of his name. “I’m not a cat! How many times do I have to tell you until you understand, blondie?”
“What was that?!”
“Can you two please quiet down?” Ren hissed. “Look!”
There was a sign on the wall that clearly said no pets allowed. Both boys looked at Morgana simultaneously. Despite what the cat said, it was still a cat, and it was meowing quite loud. So Ren decided to pull out before anyone could catch them and Ryuji followed suit.
“You shouldn’t have yelled so loud, Morgana!” Ryuji complained.
“What? Who was picking a fight in the first place?!”
“Gaahh!! Now they’re going to keep an eye on me for sure!”
“You weren’t even playing anything in there!”
“What were you doing there?” Ren asked.
Ren noticed Ryuji’s slight stiffening of his body. “Nothing.” His voice was unusually quiet.
Morgana poked his head over Ren’s shoulder again. “Let me guess!”—and he was grinning from ear to ear in a way a cat would grin—“You were bored so you just decided to go someplace in random.”
“Hey! I wasn’t—” Ryuji shouted, to which Ren immediately shushed. “—bored…”
His voice trailed off and Ren could detect the desperate attempt to hide his embarrassment. He couldn’t help the slight laugh that escaped his lips.
“Oh, come on! Not you too!”
And that just made Ren laugh louder. Ryuji looked exasperated, but no sooner did he join Ren’s laugh and even Morgana was chuckling.
Both of them had nothing to do and it was nearing lunch time. Ren had actually planned to go to the Inokashira Park alone and enjoy his present, but Ryuji invited him to go have lunch. A ramen restaurant he knew that had the best ramen Ren just had to try it. The price was also very affordable for a high schooler’s wallet.
Morgana was hungry too, though he wasn’t that enthusiastic for ramen either. “They probably won’t allow pets in there, either,” he mentioned. He was right.
As they were musing where to go and what to do, a call drew their attention to an incoming figure, rushing down the street and through the crowd, blonde pigtails flying in the air.
“Heeeeyyy!!!”
Ann was running toward them, waving her hand high up.
Ann had a sudden craving for those crepes she’d talked about when she spotted them across the street. Hearing their story and their plan to go to a ramen restaurant, Ann agreed they wouldn’t let Morgana inside.
“I think there are no pet restrictions at the diner,” Ann said.
“The one in Central Street?” Ryuji asked.
Ann nodded. “Want to head there together?”
***
The diner wasn’t much, but it was a really nice place to hang out. A nice place to study too, Ren noted. The warm atmosphere, the polite hummed background noise. It would be the perfect place to retreat when it rained too, said Morgana.
It was fun being with them. This was probably the first time the four of them ever hung out like this. And Ren watched as Ryuji and Ann laughed and joked about as if nothing weighed their mind.
His phone vibrated. It was his foster mother.
What are you doing? Are you having fun? Did you get our present? Happy birthday again! We love you.
Present…
Even after what Ren did to them, the trouble he had caused… they still thought of him as their son. And they went to all the trouble to send a present to him. And despite the guilt he was feeling, he couldn’t help the smile spreading across his face.
He didn’t realize Ryuji and Ann had stopped joking around. He didn’t realize they had a funny look on their faces. And he didn’t realize Ryuji had sneaked up beside him. And just as Ren was about to type something, Ryuji grabbed his phone from his hand and flipped through the email.
“Hey—”
“Let’s see, what made our leader smile so bright like that…”
But Ren was too late and his phone was already in Ryuji’s hand and Ryuji had already read his foster mother’s email.
He caught the word Ryuji was mouthing.
Birthday.
Saw the understanding clicked in.
Saw the surprise registering as he whipped his head at Ren and Ren wanted to shut his eyes and turned back time.
“Is it your birthday today?”
“What?” Ann whipped her own head at him.
“Birthday?!” Morgana did too.
And Ren would have laughed but he had no energy to laugh and he wanted to hide from the embarrassment.
The silence stretched on.
“Dude!” Ryuji exploded. “Why didn’t you tell us it was your birthday?”
“Because there’s nothing to tell,” Ren said, grabbing his phone from Ryuji’s slackening grip to hide his embarrassment. “It’s just a birthday.”
“Just a birthday?” Ryuji was aghast. “Dude! It’s your birthday! Of course we should celebrate it!” And he called in a waited.
“So that’s why you didn’t want anything to do with the Palace today,” Morgana mused.
“Happy birthday, Ren!” Ann said, beaming.
“Yeah! Happy birthday!” Ryuji was clasping his shoulder and beaming too.
Everyone was beaming and Morgana was grinning and the aura was toxic and Ren found himself beaming back.
The waiter came and asked for orders.
“We should splurge a bit,” Ann said as she scanned the menu.
“Don’t worry. We got it covered, okay?” Ryuji was following Ann’s example.
And Ren wanted to stop them, because this was embarrassing and there was no stopping them both as they began adding one order after another.
He never had friends. The only celebration he had ever done was with his mother, and his foster parents after his mother passed away. Even then, they had always had a simple celebration. More so when his mother was still alive, because his mother was always busy though somehow she had managed to always be there with him on his birthday with a small cake and slightly more extravagant dinner.
And seeing Ann and Ryuji doing this, as if they had done this countless times, as if this was perfectly normal…
He felt something small pressed against his side when the waiter finally left. Morgana was pressing his body against him, a small warmth, the most comfort the cat had ever given him ever since they met.
And Ren couldn’t help the smile as he said, “Thanks, guys.”
And he meant it.
***
Even with the splurge, they still had a lot of money to spare. They insisted to buy him a present, to which Ren declined because them being with him that day was already a present for him. Ryuji consented, but Ann wouldn’t take no for an answer. So in the end, Ann brought them to the underground mall and there was a photo booth there. And Ryuji was reluctant though and Ren was just watching from behind as Ann forcefully pushed Ryuji into the box.
“Ren?” She looked back and Ren grinned at her scowl. He rose both hands and entered the box without a fight.
They took some photos, which turned out surprisingly good.
It wasn’t much. But really, this was the best thing he had ever received from a friend.
***
He arrived at LeBlanc that night, exhausted from being dragged around by Ann. There were still customers inside—the old couple and someone who claimed to be a critic—so Ren immediately made his way to the stairs at the back of the store after greeting Sojiro. But Sojiro called him back before he got past the counter and said there was a package for him today.
“Your parents sent you something,” Sojiro said.
Foster parents, Ren wanted to say, as he set his bag down and Morgana poked his head out.
“Thank you.”
A small box. Seemed fragile. He’d look inside it later. But then he noticed the letter written on the box. And they were clearly spelled “Happy Birthday”.
Damn it. Does that mean Sojiro now knows too?
Well, he probably wouldn’t care even if he saw it.
He took the box upstairs without another look at his guardian.
He set the bag on the table and Morgana leaped out. He stretched his body. “Finally I’m free!”
“That’s why you should walk on your own once in a while,” Ren commented with a laugh.
Morgana acted like he hadn’t heard and Ren scoffed.
“What did they send you?” the cat inquired as Ren took a seat on his bed and began unwrapping the simple brown box.
A locket. And inside was a photo of his mother, his real mother, tucked neatly into the crevices. And his mother was smiling. Beautiful.
There was a note inside.
You may have only been our son for four years, but we have watched you grow since you were small. We love you, Ren. And we want you to know that it wasn’t your fault. It never was. You did the right thing helping that woman. And we want you to remember that. Just like your mother would have wanted you to.
It had broken their hearts when they found out about Ren’s trial. And it was the only thing they could do to stop him being sent to the detention center. Sent to probation. And Ren couldn’t stop feeling guilty yet grateful for all they had done for him.
“Hey, kid!”
It was probably an hour or two later when Sojiro suddenly called him down. All the customers were gone and Sojiro had cleaned the place up. Yet on the counter was a slice of cake and a candle on top. And Ren stopped on his tracks.
Sojiro noticed his pause. And a rare smile graced his lips.
“What are you doing? Come on and sit down here.”
“What…is this?”
The old man scoffed. “Today’s your birthday, isn’t it? Have a sit and have your birthday cake.”
Ren was still unsure. This wasn’t what was supposed to happen. At least, he didn’t think it was.
Noting Ren’s hesitation, Sojiro sighed. “For the love of—sit down!”
The stern tone caused Ren to quicken his footstep and take the seat before the cake.
“How old are you today?”
“Seven...teen,” Ren replied warily.
Sojiro grunted. And maybe it was because of the sudden change of attitude, but Ren suddenly found the grunt was Sojiro’s way to show his affection.
Ren didn’t do anything. His gaze kept shifting from the cake to Sojiro to everywhere else, wondering if maybe this was a dream or he was imagining things.
“Well? Make a wish and blow the candle.”
“Oh—uh—yeah…”
Ren stared at the glowing candle. The fire dancing. It was a simple slice of chocolate cake with a single candle. Feeling nothing would go wrong with blowing the candle, Ren did just that.
And as the fire sputtered out, Sojiro smiled. A genuine beaming smile Ren hadn’t seen before.
“Happy birthday, kid.”
“Uh…thanks…”
Sojiro snorted. “What kind of response is that?”
“It’s just… not like you.”
“Did you think I was some kind of cold, heartless bastard?” his guardian asked with a scoff.
“I…did, actually.”
A silence. Then Sojiro laughed. A hearty laugh that came from his stomach. And it made Ren want to laugh too because maybe this was who Sojiro really was.
“I’m sorry if I gave you that impression, kid. But a birthday is a birthday. It’s perfectly normal for us to celebrate it.”
And Sojiro smiled again, a warm smile this time, and maybe, Ren could learn to love this place.
~ END ~
Thanks for reading^^
More of my Persona 5 fanfic here 
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mikeyhatesit113 · 3 years
Text
forever and never: Chapter 8
“I like those new Lancers,” Janie says with a coy smile. She says she loves their appearance and really wants one.
I ponder her words for a moment and almost immediately come to my decision.
I’m going to go buy her a Lancer.
On the morning of, I drove her Corolla to work and right afterwards, I drove to the Mitsubishi dealership. After some perusing and brief haggling, the salesman says that he’ll see what he can do and give me a call.
It seems that he’ll have to do some negotiating with the banks due to my debt-to-income ratio, despite my great credit.
I go home, and not even 20 minutes later, he calls me back.
“Bring your $400 and the Corolla. Let’s go ahead with the trade-in.”
I drive a new Mitsubishi Lancer off the lot that day, and when I arrive home, Janie is ecstatic.
She has the car she really wanted, and I came through once again.
I feel happy that I’m able to make her happy. It’s what makes me feel good.
4 Months Later
I walk in the darkness back to our empty townhouse, the lights still on inside. It feels like a crime scene, and as far as I was concerned, it might as well have been one.
Her beautiful Lancer sits in the driveway, motionless and empty in the night.
Kelly and Dan greet me on my doorstep. After my phone call to Kelly about the mystery number, she and Dan decided that something was really wrong. Being they lived in the same development, they got ready and walked over as soon as they could.
“She’s gone,” I told them as their eyes searched me for answers.
“Where?” asked Kelly.
“I don’t know, but she’s with whoever’s phone number that was,” I said.
Kelly is horrified, and the usually hilarious Dan is lost for words. I can relate to both of them. But there was no time to cry and speculate, because I had done enough of that. I was certain this was the end, and I needed their help.
“Can you guys drive the Lancer to my sister’s house?” I asked. “Sure,” said Kelly.
If this was the end, I needed to remove the Lancer from her access, and I had the perfect hiding place in the gravel parking area at my sister’s.
Kelly followed my car in the Lancer as we drove to my sister’s. Dan sat in the passenger seat of my car, telling me that Janie and I were no good for each other. I needed to move on.
My heart sunk lower and lower as I listened to his words. I didn’t exactly value his opinion, as he was no perfect husband himself, but even still, hearing another human being pronounce your relationship dead is never comforting.
I hear Dan’s words, but my mind of course drifts off to Janie.
Who she’s with. Where they’re at.
What they’re doing.
We park the Lancer at my sister’s house, and I take Kelly and Dan home. After arriving back to my own home, I didn’t even attempt sleep.
It was 3:00am. The dead of night, but I’d have to wake up in less than 2 hours anyway. And if this was indeed the end, I needed to start the packing phase.
I didn’t know where I was going, but anywhere seemed better than where I was at. Janie and I had some nasty fights before, but nothing like what had taken place before her departure into the night. How could we ever come back from that?
I un-install the cable box and start boxing up DVD’s. In less than a half hour, the living area looks like a half finished room.
Before I knew it, it was time to get ready for work. I shower, dress, and step back out into the muggy Summer night. I drive to work, not knowing what the sunrise would bring.
At some point that morning, I spoke to Janie’s mom. “She’s with another man,” I told her. “Yeah, and I have an idea with who,” her mom says ominously.
She didn’t care to elaborate.
I went about my work duties like a robot without programming, completely on autopilot. I didn’t bother contacting Janie. Why should I?
Maybe that’s why I looked down at my phone later in the day and saw a MISSED CALL from her. My heart skipped a beat as the dread washed over me.
Was this an apology? Was this asking me when I’d be moving out? Was it her mystery man calling me to continue with his career advice he had so kindly provided the night before?
I called her back, and she answered.
“After work, do you want to talk?” she asked.
Her voice was no longer hostile and belligerent. It was calm, almost monotone.
“Sure,” I said.
After work, I drove home. But she wasn’t there. Instead, she was across the street, sun bathing in her mom’s backyard.
I walked over to her, and she laid there, looking up at the sky in her sunglasses.
“Where’d you go last night?” I asked immediately.
“He picked me up,” she said.
“Who” I asked, standing there as my heart pounded inside my chest. The questions that had tortured me over the past few weeks were about to receive answers.
“Shawn, my ex-boyfriend from high school,” she said. “I ran into him the day of your Sheriff’s test, and we exchanged numbers. Over the past few weeks, he was able to provide answers about the problems we’ve been having,” she explained.
“He was fair, and he was able to tell me how you were feeling,” she continued. “He’d even tell me when I was wrong,” she said.
“So, where did he take you last night?” I asked, trying to soak in the information.
“He left work and drove me to a hotel, and then went back to work,” she replied. “And this morning, when he got off of work, he came and picked me up and drove me to work.”
What a nice guy, I thought.
“How’d you pay for it?” I asked.
From what I knew, Janie didn’t exactly to have the disposable income to book one-night stays at local hotels. In fact, many times, she requested my debit card to go shopping.
“I paid in cash,” she said.
“Do you have a receipt?” I asked.
“No, I don’t,” she answered.
“But this morning, I told him that we can’t be friends anymore,” she said. “I told him that asking for his advice was wrong, and I need to work on my marriage alone,” she explained.
Amidst the practical disbelief in this story, as she couldn’t even provide physical proof of this hotel stay, a wave of relief did wash over me.
I wasn’t a piece of shit. She didn’t hate me. She wanted to work on us.
I didn’t have to find a new home, after all.
And just like that, I was back in it. I was ready to work on our marriage, too.
Another night of mystery without hard evidence of any scenario.
No evidence she cheated. No evidence she hadn’t.
Not Guilty.
“Can I have my car back?” she asked with a sheepish grin.
-------
The rest of the year finished without incident, although nothing was necessarily fixed. We had just swept the issues under a pretty rug, removing them from plain sight.
In fact, we started looking toward brighter horizons.
Possibly being homeowners, though we didn’t have pennies for a down payment on anything.
Possibly being new parents.
After Janie’s second child, she had gotten her tubes tied. In retrospect, she blamed Jay for that decision, and expressed resentment that he was able to have more children while she couldn't. However, as the years went on, we discussed the possibility of having child of our own together, and we looked into the tubal reversal process.
The doctor walked us through the process, and finished with the $10,000+ price tag. Quite a hefty price to pay for a procedure that could never guarantee a pregnancy.
But I was willing to try. Deflated, we left the appointment in separate cars, and I called a loan company that had recently sent me a “pre-approval” in the mail. The agent took my information and current expenses, but in the end, my debt-to-income ratio was too high.
If, however, she had approved me for a $15,000 loan, I would have absolutely went through with it and paid for Janie’s tubal reversal.
From a personal standpoint, I was no longer the fresh 20-year-old kid I started out as.
I was now 24 years old, and with some scars of my own now, I wasn’t as keen on celebrating our love story. Every year, we celebrated our 11/01/07 anniversary, but as the years went on, I began to feel more shame about that anniversary than I ever had.
Our 1 year wedding anniversary didn’t even feel genuine. We went to a Victorian-themed Murder Mystery weekend that took place in a Gettysburg hotel, and on Sunday morning, we exchanged gifts.
She gave me a Sons of Anarchy belt buckle.
I have her a pricey necklace, but she expressed dissatisfaction.
She even pointed out that I had not gotten her the $1600 Victorian ring she had been willing to trade her wedding ring in for.
Everything felt wrong, and now it seemed that my gifts were no good anymore.
In a slow build, the year went on and Summer came once again.
And so did the fighting.
No house, no baby, and now it seemed there could be no peace.
On top of the underlining distrust and mysteries of our relationship altogether, every little disagreement turned into a fight.
With so much spilled gasoline all around us, even the strike of just one match could incinerate everything around us.
The perfect birthdays were now even tainted, let alone the fact that I had missed Brock’s previous two due to these clandestine encounters.
James’ 10th birthday came around, and he was big into zombies that year. In turn, we bought him a zombie cake and I even dressed up like a zombie, roaming around his party and scaring his friends that were invited.
Later that day, my friend and I ran to the store to buy a fire pit for the evening, When we returned to the party, we were disturbed to find confused guests in the back yard, mostly members of my family.
“She took a bunch of people across the street to go swimming at her moms?” my aunt said as she packed up her things.
I apologized to the departing guests and as evening fell, Janie didn’t come back over. Instead, she conversed with one of her mother’s friends that had arrived in her mom’s back yard. He was an older man (ordinarily no threat), but she sipped her beers and listened intently to everything he had to say.
He was clearly enjoying the attention, and as I walked past her mother’s back yard, she looked over and smirked at my clear discontent over how the day had ended up.
My best friend watched me have an emotional meltdown in the house and had to stop me from packing up my things again that day.
Things were quickly spiraling out of control. Jealousy was rampant like a virus.
Too much damage had been done, and our freight train was threatening to derail at any moment. But whether it was the kids, or the comforts of home, or the fact that I unmistakably loved her...or all of the above...I couldn’t jump off.
But perhaps, July 4th would deliver the first of several fatal blows.
The day started off normally, but not long after we got our day started, it was clear that we were not going to be getting along that day.
The children were with Jay, and after a fiery argument, we parted ways from one another. She went to wherever she wanted to go, and I went with my best friend, abandoning our plans to go to the firework display with Bill.
SIDE NOTE: Bill, my groomsman and good friend, had since separated from his girlfriend Monica. Their infant daughter was caught in the crossfire of their rather nasty breakup, where they both tried to get Janie and I to testify that the other parent was unfit to raise their daughter. This would prove to be very important and critical.
I hung out with my best friend, Jose, and as usual, I didn’t hear a word from Janie all day. I gave strict instructions to Jose NOT to share my whereabouts with Janie. Odd as it may sound, but I had become wise to her strategy of requesting my location from other people. This would give her an idea of where I was, and give her clearance to do whatever she wanted to do, knowing I was not near her.
Consider it a way of tracking me, so to speak.
Night fell, and as Jose’s car sped along a major roadway, I saw a beautiful fireworks display in the distance. Aside from feeling numb, and I still felt enough to recognize the empty pang in my heart.
I knew things were broken...
We went to another friend’s house and played video games.
Unbeknownst to me, Janie texted Jose while we were at the friend’s house. As I sat playing video games and trying to enjoy myself, Jose was texting her that I was with him.
Janie knew who I was with, and now she knew how far away I was.
Hours later, I arrived home and crawled into bed with Janie. A toxic couple becomes extremely comfortable with having terrible fights and day-long arguments, but also crawling into bed together at the end of the day.
Maybe out of habit. Maybe out of the remanants of love.
Probably somewhere in the middle.
------
Over the next few weeks after July 4th, I saw more of Bill than I ever had. In his separation with Monica, we were sure to invite him over to our home for bonfires and little cookouts with other friends.
He’d show up alone. He’d show up with his daughter. He’d show up with a girl he was dating.
One night, I even noticed that him and Janie were missing from a party we were throwing.
“Where’s Janie?” I asked.
“Oh, her and Bill ran down to the store real quick for chips and dip,” someone replied.
...
I also noticed Janie coming home later than usual after work. Sometimes she’d have work meetings at a local bar and grill. Other times she’d want to stop by the mall, where she even brought me home a new pair of shoes one day.
In any event, things seemed to be drifting back into unfamiliar familiar waters, but I did my best to think positive.
Perhaps, things began taking shape one fateful night that I’ll never forget.
Weeks in advance, I scheduled for a few friends to come over and watch old home videos we filmed when we were younger. I didn’t get to see or speak to these friends as often as I would have liked, so it seemed like a great idea to get together and revisit our childhood memories. Janie was on board with this...until the day of.
After running morning errands that Saturday, we returned home and I was going to take a nap.
“Hey, is it ok if Bill brings his daughter over so I can see her?” asked Janie.
“Sure,” I said.
I knew how much Janie enjoyed kids, as she continued working in the field. She had since switched daycare centers to a more community-based childcare center for less money, but more career opportunities. I supported her all of the way.
I went to take a nap, and I woke up about 2 hours later close to the time I had wanted to wake up. I looked out of the window, and I saw Bill’s car parked out front.
Almost immediately, I heard heavy footsteps thundering up the stairs. The door burst open, and Bill came rushing in, laughing and hollering.
“Get your ass up!” he yelled with that signature goofy grin.
Bill was leaving shortly after, but Janie announced that she had invited more people over for a separate bonfire in the back yard. Her own guests included her parents, my uncle and his girlfriend, and Bill?
Bill asked me if I minded if he came back later. “Of course not,” I said.
My friends arrived soon after, and shortly after that, Janie’s bonfire got started in the back yard. After dropping his daughter off to his mother, whom he lived at home with, Bill returned to our house.
“This is Bill,” I announced to my friends. “He’s cool, he’s one of us,” I said, alluding to his personality that seemed in-step with my buddies and I.
But he didn’t choose to hang with my friends and I. He chose to attend Janie’s bonfire.
The two separate parties got underway, and I excused myself to the kitchen to get a drink.
As I poured myself a glass of iced tea, my uncle came in from the back yard.
“Hey Mikey, who’s that dude in the back yard?” he asked.
“Who?” I asked.
“The one who kind of looks like you,” he said.
“Oh, Bill,” I replied. “That’s one of my best friends, he was in my groom’s party.”
My uncle stepped closer to me, lowering his voice.
“Mike, watch him.”
From the living room, I hear my friends laugh hysterically at the television that showed another dumb stunt of ours.
From our youth. Such a simpler time.
Oh, fuck.
“Come again?” I asked.
“I’m not trying to stir anything up, but I’ve seen guys like him. Watch him,” my uncle insisted.
I chuckled uncomfortably.
“Mike, I’m serious. Whatever she wants, he does it. He's pouring her drinks. Putting more wood on the fire. He’s sitting right next to her, something isn’t right,” my uncle spoke.
“Mike! Come here!” one of my buddies yells from the living room, rewinding the DVD to the part he wants to show me.
My heart races. My stomach turns.
I chuckle nervously.
“Mike, I’m seri-” my uncle starts, but I cut him off.
“I know, I know,” I hiss. “Let me wrap this party up, and then I’ll be out to the fire,” I say.
I returned to the living room and sat with my friends. I laughed along with them, but in all honesty, I could not wait for them to leave my house.
I wanted them to continue thinking I’m doing well. I wanted them to continue thinking I’m happily married. I did not want them to even get a sniff of what was happening in my back yard.
And I did not want them to see what was going to happen next.
Mercifully, they announced they had to get home, and I thanked them profusely for coming. I was truly grateful. I watched them leave, waving merrily.
Now, I had a fucking bonfire to attend.
I went to the back yard and sat in a chair. Bill was seated next to her, and Janie looked disinterested at my arrival.
We chatted casually, but it felt like I had intruded on a party that I wasn’t invited to.
My uncle sipped his beer casually in his seat, trying to look nonchalant.
We played a game where we had to name the last person we’d talk to if we were dying, and what we would say.
Janie’s answer was Brock and James, and she’d tell them that she loved them very much and did the best that she could.
Bill’s answer was, “Ekim Pper! And I’d tell him, see you in hell!”
I didn’t get the joke.
Then, out of the blue, Janie asked Bill if he was spending the night.
I found this odd, as Bill had never spent the night before, and he wasn’t even drinking.
“I wasn’t going to, but I could?” replied Bill.
“Yeah, you could sleep in Brock’s or James’s bed,” she said.
I couldn’t resist myself.
“Or, you could shack up with my wife?” I offered.
Janie gave me a murderous look, Bill shifted uncomfortably, and Janie’s mom said, “Now, come on, Michael.”
The bonfire ended soon after. Bill didn’t use his “Spend the Night” card, and Janie’s parents went back to their house.
Only my uncle and his girlfriend remained in the kitchen with us, and I couldn’t wait for them to leave either.
There was a vicious fight brewing, and they were standing in my way. Janie and I sniped at each other, and my uncle’s well-intentioned anecdotes to defuse the tension were futile.
We were two caged lions, ready to rip each other to fucking shreds.
My uncle and his girlfriend left, and as soon as the door closed, we started in at each other. Venom and toxic poison filled the air. Words more powerful than fists, thrown at each other with reckless abandon.
Intent to maim. Intent to destroy.
This is who we were.
“You have problems!” I scream at her.
“Yeah, and one of them was marrying you,” she fires back.
“Fuck this, man, I’M OUT!” I scream.
I turn my back and walk across the kitchen to retrieve my keys. Behind me, Janie breaks into a sprint and launches herself at me, knocking me forward.
I wheel around, fury filling every pore of my body.
“Touch me again, and I’ll have your fucking ass hauled out of here in handcuffs!” I scream.
Would you believe me if I told you we somehow went to bed together that night?
Because we did.
Remember? Toxic couples, habits, broken shards of love, etc.
The next morning, we woke up pleasant enough. That night, I was performing amateur stand-up comedy at a local club.
Janie left the house that morning to go buy an outfit, and I left to buy a new shirt of my own.
That night, a bunch of my friends, family, and Janie gathered to watch me perform. Before the performance, Bill showed up and wished me well.
However, right before the show started, he abruptly left, citing a “babysitting issue”.
I took definite notice to Janie not caring at all about his departure, which was a stark contrast to the previous night’s events.
I performed my set, and it was one of my best sets ever. The crowd laughed when I wanted them to. My jokes flowed effortlessly. I felt on top of the world.
Janie seemed genuinely excited for me that night. Her eyes seemed to sparkle in the glow of the bar lights. She kissed me on the lips, hard.
“You did amazing!” she said to me, hugging me tightly.
I felt like I had my wife back.
The rest of my friends and family congratulated me, and I couldn’t have been higher.
Janie and I left the bar and went home. We fell asleep next to each other, feeling closer than we had in a long time.
I drifted off to sleep, knowing this feeling would resonate for days to come.
Or, that’s what I thought.
I forgot to turn my phone on silent that night, and when it rang at 2am, I was jolted from my deep sleep.
Groggy, I looked at the screen.
PRIVATE.
I figured it was one of my family members or friends still at the bar, trying to prank call me. I silenced the call and put my phone back on the bed stand.
A moment later, it rang again.
I looked at the screen, and this time, it was a number I didn’t recognize.
After I didn’t answer that call either, it was a moment before my phone made another noise.
A voicemail ping.
I clicked the voicemail icon and put the phone up to my ear.
My God.
“All last summer in case you don't recall, I was yours and you were mine forget it all. Is there a line that I could write, That's sad enough to make you cry? And all the lines you wrote to me were lies. Months roll past, the love that you struck dead. Did you love me only in my head? There were things you said and did to me, They seem to come so easily, The love I thought I'd won you give for free.”
Gin Blossoms “Found Out About You”
NOTE: Though this is my side of the story, including my own personal recollections and opinions, the reader should not consider this note anything other than a work of literature. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
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chyneashlytoo · 4 years
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#GlowGurl: BEAUTY FAIR 2018 by CHALK.PH (and Haul?) [UPDATED 2020]
Posted: 3 September 2018 (Wordpress blog) Note: this is not beta-ed  |  Photo (top): Chalk.Ph facebook page, (bottom) Mine
~~~
This marks my very first beauty fair because to me, it’s only recently that I’ve gotten into makeup – fairly ‘recent’ at least two or two and a half years now. It was all the “mom pressure” my mom did with her constant banter of, “Ikaw lang ang kilala kong Fine Arts student na hindi marunong mag-makeup! (You are the only Fine Arts student that I know of who doesn’t know how to do makeup)” She always emphasizes the ‘Fine Arts student’ part whenever she would tell me off. To be honest, I think my mom regrets it at times because of the money part in the equation wherein I – more like my mom and I – spend buying products and tools to add to our collection.
~ Brief backstory ~
My forced interest in the makeup department started when I was in my 3rd Year in College and it started with my first mascara, I’d consider that late already since I studied in an all-girls high school and I kept seeing some of my classmates back then wearing the go-to cheek and lip tints and powder. One or maybe two of the factors that didn’t really peak my interest in makeup was because my mom kept telling me I was ‘too young’ to wear makeup (I was in high school) and that I have sensitive skin – sadly that part is true, these held everything back in at least trying new products. I couldn’t really do anything at that time since I was too scared to put what I considered “gunk” on my face. But that gradually changed throughout the years between my senior year in high school and my junior year in college.
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Brief product review: The Calvin Klein mascara that was given to me enhanced my already long and curled lashes (Thank you, genes from the father’s side LOL) and it did the job quite well – from lasting a very long time and keeping my lashes volumized and curled all day long…but it wasn’t waterproof so that’s a bummer. But nonetheless, it was a good product that started off my interest.
From curling my lashes and wearing mascara, I went on to perfect the brow game for a good year and a half. And after ‘perfecting’ – still working on it – what people would consider ‘on-fleek’ or Instagram brows, I moved on to blending eyeshadows and after half a year moved on to doing full-face makeup. I watched and watched tutorials on YouTube and I would practice them on my face in front of my mirror as well as on someone else’s face.
~ End of the brief backstory ~
The Beauty Fair by Chalk.Ph was held in UP Town Center last August 18 and 19 (Saturday and Sunday), which gave me the chance to experience my first beauty fair. Our trip there was very short though and I didn’t get enough time to roam around and actually participate in their programs because I still had other things to attend to that day – we went there on Saturday and arrived at UPTC just before lunchtime and left just before 1 PM.
It kind of made me sad because I wanted to see all the beauty gurus and experts that Chalk.Ph had in store for the people who were coming – maybe even take a picture with them, if I’m not mistaken, Ms. Anne Clutz (better known as Mama Anne) was present and dropped by – and I wanted to participate in their talks that would eventually give me more advice, tips, and ideas on how to do my makeup, skincare, and etc. better.
Chalk.Ph also had a gimmick where the first 100 people who were coming would receive a goodie bag (the photo with the white eco bag), just present the receipts that you’ve bought from the brands/booths and/or products that were a part of their program. It was filled with food as well as other products like makeup, facial wash, hair products and even napkins/pantyliners.
Everyone was very nice and very welcoming that they were very engaging (good sales talk LOL) with their customers, I was tempted to even buy some eyeshadow palettes that I have been eyeing for a long time. But I only got to buy a few things because I still was saving money – I was a broke fresh grad looking for a job – to buy other makeup products that would be of a better deal since some came in bundles which are a steal than the ones I saw in the beauty fair booths.
~~~
PRODUCT REVIEW TIME!
1. ANNE CLUTZ BRUSHES A. Ultimate Beginner Brush Set [watch here] -  PHP 500.00 B. Eye Essentials Set [watch here] -  PHP 800.00
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When doing a full face makeup without the right tools is quite hard, yes fingers can be used to blend but there are certain things that I prefer using a brush. So with it, I have been waiting and saving my money to buy the Anne Clutz Brushes – both the Ultimate Beginner Brush Set and the Eye Essentials set – which will ultimately be the very first complete brush collection I have on my vanity. These brush sets honestly surprised me because not only are they at a cheaper price than most sets out there, but there are of good quality!
I watched Ms. Anne introduce the brushes on her YouTube channel where she told all the details there is to know about the brushes, from the design to the type of bristles it has and all of that. But that didn’t solely cement my plan in buying those brushes. It was also her vlog videos where I got to witness her and her family, as well as the Anne Clutz Brushes team, do a quality control with each brush that is delivered to them from the manufacturer – seeing that convinced me that the brushes I plan on buying will be good.
And they are.
The brushes were not only aesthetically pleasing to me but the way they feel made it even better. The bristles of the brushes weren’t the type that would feel prickly on the skin, a pet peeve for me especially remembering the brushes the makeup artist used on my face when I got my graduation photo taken. It is not the type of brush na kinakaskas na yung mukha mo at kulang nalang mabalatan na, it was definitely soft!
The product pick up is also good and the blend-ability of the brushes are A+ that I wouldn’t need to go in for another dip or dab on my makeup products unless I needed to layer them on.
A little tip!
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Have a container that is not as tall or taller than your shortest makeup brush because then you’ll have to dig through and ‘contaminate’ your other brushes, or you’ll be holding/getting your brush by the bristles which will dirty and ruin them faster.
A quick fix is to put pebbles/marbles, or in my case, old chubby stars I did back in high school for it to be more leveled higher than the lid if my brush holder. This will then let me hold them by the handle of the brush itself.
2. SUNKISSED ORGANIC CLAY BLUSH - PHP 200.00
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*This shade is perf for the tisay-naarawan-lang look*
Since everyone’s raving about this ‘dupe’ for the Luna Clay blush, that has apparently been ‘faked’ (not sure if you knew about the hearsay of what happened but to make the story short, the online shop RMK ay naloko ng supplier with regards to the Luna Clay Blush so they had to hold and replace all products with this one instead.. that’s from what I read so far, but please still do your research because I haven’t been updated with what really did happen.).
I’m not sure what the brand is or if the brand name really is ‘Clay Blush’ but I have to mention that I was quite hesitant in trying this one because as I’ve mentioned in the backstory that my skin is considered sensitive. But I’m glad that despite the simple packaging, this product had the good sense of stating what the ingredients are in it.
Components:
Candellila Wax
VCO
Grapeseed oil
Iron Oxide
Shea Butter
That’s basically everything that is said on the back, like in plain text that’s just it – no design whatsoever, there are a lot of video reviews of this product on YouTube so go check that out too.
The product is like a deodorant stick but smaller, it’s small with an estimate of 3 1/4 inches from top to bottom of the product. But it packs a punch. By that, I mean it’s very VERY pigmented so I don’t just go swiping it across my cheeks because I wouldn’t look sun-kissed anymore – I would look like a tomato or someone who was having an allergic reaction from something because of how red my face turned out.
But if I were to directly put it on my face, I would do a dabbing motion that will be enough to put color on my cheeks na parang naarawan lang 😉 It smells like a scented candle, by the way, but it doesn’t really bother me as much.
Another tip!
If I accidentally put too much, I would not rub it off. I will lightly dust it with my pressed powder (that matches my skin color) which will not only settle the product on my face but will also mute down the intensity of the color.
UPDATED REVIEW (2020) I was not halfway the product when I started to notice little bumps on my skin, it basically clogged my pores (for your info, I am a combination oil and dry skin type). No matter how much I washed/exfoliated my face after using the product, I still ended up having those tiny bumps on my skin. I proven this because after taking a break from using it, my skin cleared but when I tried it again, they all returned the next day. Sadly, it was a no for me. But maybe it might work for others.
3. FACEMASKS A. Tomato Face Mask - PHP 25.00/ea B. Charcoal Face Mask - PHP 25.00/ea
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Ever since I got interested in makeup, skincare suddenly became a priority in my life. And within my 3rd year in college, I was introduced to face masks! My first face mask was a Tony Moly Snail Face mask, a friend of mine told me to put it in the ref before putting it on my face so it felt much cooler. That also started my mom’s “addiction” to using face masks - she’ll keep asking me what were good face masks for certain problems a face would have like wrinkles, sagging, redness etc.
These Face Masks (Tomato and Charcoal) are also from the same booth/shop I bought the Sunkissed Clay blush. RMK is an online shop, they have a physical store in Pure Gold Libertad, where they have a lot of products that they sell and the reviews are really good. The face masks were more for my mom than me, each was worth 25 pesos so mom bought them immediately.
Tip!
When we use our face masks, we specifically use it AFTER our weekly Aztec Clay Mask session because it cools down our faces and settles the redness that came when using the clay mask.
~~~
That’s about it for my product reviews, but I’ll show you some of the freebies I got in the goodie bag that we got.
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We got (LEFT TO RIGHT)
A hair lotion (I gave those to my sister) that oddly smells like a salon. It claims to define and hold curls longer. And my sister confirmed this to be a good product.
Sun gel & cleanser from Face Republic that I have yet to try
Liquid metallic lipsticks from Revlon that I gave to someone else because it wasn’t my type
Lipsticks from Skin Potion which has a sheer finish, they both have the same red shade.
A pantyliner/napkin that I will be giving to someone else
and lastly, a Facial exfoliating cleanser from CURE that I have yet to try out
And that’s basically it!
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cathierrr · 4 years
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How I Met Your Father
I am a mother that was not perfect. Many of my mistakes could have been avoided. Was I too young and immature to be a wife and mother?  Did my parents and grandparents try to tell us? Sure they did! No one could convince me otherwise. I’m laying it right out here in the first paragraph. Absolutely flawed the first time around. Not flawed to the extent Todd was in danger or lacking for anything, including love. We were just too young to be married let alone have children. Todd was an only child until he was 14.
However, there’s no way in hell that I’m owning that my marriage or mothering skills lacked the second time around.
Contrary to the podcasts, I was an excellent wife and mother. All the gaslighting you throw at me will not change my feelings on this subject. My story is backed with public records through court documents, police reports, pictures, even a voice mail recording from 1986.  Included in my story is a sister that has fabricated a lot of my story to my two younger children. Based on Cindy’s lies she’s also part of this story. I’m not skipping over her shortcomings either. So sis time to make another appointment with your Dr to up your Prozac. Please don’t forget the dentist too because you are going to be grinding your teeth again after this. There are no words worthy of my sister Cindy’s twisted mental contribution to this situation, but I’m sure going to try. A lot of witnesses have passed on, but fortunately many are still living. They have very sharp memories on the matter of what truly happened. Slander is a serious charge and provable in this story. Saving the best for last, I also have very detailed Journals dating from 1984 until 2010. I have condensed my earlier years in order to jump to the story of my final husband, Richard “Rick” Thomas Rockwood.  What caused me to relive this drama is my daughter. Danica’s recent podcast (Adapt/Overcome, part 2) stating that she didn’t remember why her parents got divorced. In a way I blame myself because I didn’t want to bad mouth their father.  I would love to forget most of it but I’m rehashing it because I feel it’s time to put the story out there. If I didn’t participate in this story I would hesitate to believe it was true. Unfortunately, it happened. I met Todd’s father, Mike the day after I graduated high school on June 6, 1972, my 18th birthday. When I went away to college that fall I was “in love”. I didn’t make it further than the first semester in Quincy, IL. All I wanted to do was get married and be a mother. We were married on January 26, 1974, I was 19. A week before our first anniversary we had Todd Joseph on January 19th, 1975. I was age 20.
Am I sorry for my shortcomings as Todd’s mother? Absolutely, I have expressed that to Todd many times in vain. I love Todd and always will regardless of how he feels about me. Todd has never been a warm or forgiving person towards me. I’m sure he’s nicer to others. I know he loves his siblings. Years later we’re driving to have a family portrait done. Todd’s home for a visit from the seminary where he had been for 5 years. Todd didn’t stop telling me his opinion of me as his mother until we arrived at the Palm Beach Catholic Church. He wanted to go to mass where the Kennedy’s went prior to the family portrait. Once we lit some candles and got back in the car, Todd continued his assessment of me. The family portrait would only have my three children in it. By the time we arrived my eyes were too red and swollen from crying.  My shortcomings were that I married his father who he has less respect for than me, but he loves the rest of his fathers family so he overlooks his alcoholic, classless red neck father (his words many times). He was a victim of divorce (we spoiled him more because of it which didn’t help) and I smoked marijuana. He is right on all of my shortcomings. I was young and thought pot would be legal soon. I missed that projected date by about 40 years. In my defense I learned from it and never smoked around my younger children. Now it’s a mute point but I am owning my shortcomings. Todd has accused me of too many other things that never happened.
I always knew that following the teachings of the Bible would not be his final path. A month after the family portrait episode Todd calls me in tears. The seminary in Cheshire, CT is letting him go. Not exactly letting him go. He had some medical problems during his seminary stay and the church wanted Todd to start his work in a church. 
They felt missionary work that Todd wanted would require things that might affect his health. He’d already almost died from gallbladder surgery and later back surgery. All of this by the time he was 21.  I told him this was a sign from God to do something else. I offered my home at no cost (that changed 3 months before he left). He could go to college and start his life. He also mentioned that his step father showed him that money and power was the best way to make it. Today Todd is an international corporate attorney in London. He hates me and has nothing good to say about me. I’m fine with his feelings until I come across his blatant lies.  It’s just my personal opinion, but is this really the expected behavior of a former priest?
October 25, 1985, Friday night Sandy Belcher and I had just left a great rock concert by Heart. It was at the West Palm Beach Auditorium (now known as The Jehovah Witness Center on the corner of North Congress Avenue and Palm Beach Lakes Blvd.). The auditorium was about a mile from my office. It was my favorite place for concerts not just because it was small and close. The building was circular and when there was nothing going on, you could drive up the ramp to the ticket window, purchase future tickets and drive away, no parking necessary. In the future Rick and I would see many concerts there including Eddy Murphy, Rodney Dangerfield. A little over a year later on December 27, 1986, we would take Todd to his first concert there with Cyndi Lauper. Rick and I had gotten engaged two days earlier on Christmas Eve.
Sandy bought the tickets for her and her boyfriend, Johnny Connelly. Johnny backed out at the last minute. Sandy didn’t want to go alone and I was almost done packing at home, so we went.  We had front row seats!
After the concert, we hit Big Daddy’s, also just down the street on Okeechobee Blvd. Robin Gufstason and Amy Boehler were going to be there prior to our arrival and would have a table for us.  Isn’t it funny how fate takes over? I would have stayed home and finished packing if Johnny had decided to go. In hindsight I kind of wished he had. There were good times too, especially my children. I hold onto those memories when reliving my story.
I remember walking into Big Daddy’s and getting a seat at Robin and Amy’s front row table. At the time, Sandy, Robin, Amy and I all worked together at the West Palm Beach Better Business Bureau. Robin and I were also roommates. I had moved to West Palm Beach a year earlier on April 1, 1984. I remembered the date well for 3 reasons. It was April Fool’s Day, also was my cousin Janine’s birthday. Janine’s brother Bruce was my age and my first encounter with a bully. Trust me when I say, never be around a bully on April Fool’s Day.
Robin’s boyfriend had just got transferred to Daytona which meant we could no longer share the the home we were renting in Palm Beach Gardens. I was moving in with Carmen Parish and her son, Adam on Sunday to Browning St. in West Palm Beach. After the band went on break, my roommate Robin goes outside with the band. Apparently Robin was not thrilled with her boyfriend whose name escapes me. Moving to Dayton was according to Robin “bumming her out” so a little payback with the drummer was her goal. Meanwhile, Amy mentions she has had her eye on one of the guys at the bar since he got there about an hour earlier. She could see he was finally staring at our table, she just knew he was going to ask her to dance after the band got off break. It seemed to me that the guy Amy had her hook for was already with a tall blonde. When I mentioned the blonde to Amy she said that wasn’t a deal breaker!? Amy and I didn’t share the same views at times. When the band break was over I noticed the tall blonde with the guy Amy was pumped up about was coming towards our table. She tells me her name is Lisa and she came over to our table because the guy she is with wanted to meet me. The guy is named Rick and is the brother of Lisa’s boyfriend David. Evidently Lisa and David had recently broke up and Rick took her out to cheer her up. By now Robin is back at our table and tells me to meet him. Knowing that Amy saw him first made me hesitate but Amy agreed I should. Rick came to our table and was very personable and handsome. I had recently broke off with my long term boyfriend and wasn’t looking for another.  After dancing for an hour I told Rick I had to go since I had to work in the morning. Rick asked me on a date for the next night. His friend Mark and his girlfriend were having a Halloween party in Wellington. I’m big on Halloween so I accepted. He walked me to my car and I gave him my address. He told me he loved my car. I had just gotten a red VW bug and also loved it.  It’s funny how much changes during a courtship. Later he will tell everyone that when he met me I was living out of boxes with a “piece of shit car”. I had no clue that night just how much my life would change. Until next time, Cathie
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travelingtheusa · 5 years
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NEW YORK
14 Nov 2019 (Thu) – I was invited to participate in the Veteran’s Day ceremony on November 11th with the American Legion post.  We went to two sites to perform a formal ceremony then held a public ceremony at the Veterans Park next to town hall.  About 50 people showed up; mostly veterans.  There was a young man from the high school who sang the National Anthem that had the most beautiful, angelic voice.  After the ceremony, everyone was invited to the Post for hot dogs and hamburgers.
     On Wednesday, November 13th, members of the Post were invited to the local schools. First, we went to the high school and participated in a panel.  We each described our service experience but ran out of time for questions from the kids. The students all came in with jackets and back packs which made me think they were getting off the bus and immediately directed to the auditorium.
     After an hour at the high school, we went to the Maud Sherwood elementary school. We were directed to the end of a long hallway while the students (grades 2 through 5) lined up along the walls. Then we walked down the hall with the kids clapping, waving flags, and giving us high fives.  I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face.  It was great!  We had a continental breakfast (courtesy of the PTA), then we split up into groups of three (there were nine of us there), and we went into 5th grade classrooms to talk with the kids.  They had prepared questions followed by freewheeling questions.  Some were very insightful.  The day was quite delightful.
     Following the school, I went directly to Toast Coffeehouse in Patchogue to meet my sister, Susan, for lunch.  The food in that place is awesome! We had a very pleasant visit and said our goodbyes.  She invited me to stay with her when I come back to New York for a checkup.
      At 6:00 p.m., we had Miranda, Kenny, and Caiden come over for a Thanksgiving dinner. Since we won’t be here on Thanksgiving Day, we took an opportunity to celebrate together early.  The food and company were all very nice.  Caiden is such a delightful little boy.
     Today, I had a visit with the oncologist.  I took a CT scan on Tuesday and this visit was to find out the results. It was great news!  Many of the lymph nodes are half their size now.  I am responding beautifully to the chemotherapy.  The nurse did a nose swab because I said I thought I had something brewing.  They wanted to make sure I don’t have the flu or pneumonia.  The doctor then gave me three months before coming back for a checkup. Woohoo!!!  We are cleared to hit the road!
9 Nov 2019 (Sat) – We took Caiden and a friend to an amusement area today. We wanted to take him to BounceU in Nesconset but when we arrived, they had birthday parties going on and no open play. So we drove another half hour to Huntington only to discover we were in the wrong town.  After a total of about an hour’s driving time with two very impatient six years olds in the back seat, we arrived at @Play Adventures in Farmingdale. It was a delightful afternoon for the boys – three hours of bounces, rides, and games.  Afterward, we stopped at McDonald’s for lunch.  The boys had a great time.
     Miranda’s best friend’s grandmother passed away.  She had the funeral and lunch this morning (hence, we were watching Caiden).  Later, she went back to the house for a memorial dinner with the family.  I went back into the house to watch Caiden until she and Kenny got back home.
     Yesterday, we went shopping at Kohl’s.  They were advertising 30% discount for veterans.  We spent too much money and it turned out that some items were not eligible for the discount.  Apparently, the manufacturer tells the store they can’t discount their products. Somehow, that seems dishonest. Kohl’s advertises taking the discount but then doesn’t do it.  We bought a new toaster oven with 11 functions (will I really ever use all of them?) that was advertised at $249.99.  The clerk rang it up at $349.99 at the register.  We had to go to customer service for the correction and it turned out we bought the Pro, with was $100 more.  AND there was no 30% discount on it!!
6 November 2019 (Wed – Paul’s Birthday) – It’s been a busy week.  We saw a lawyer to have our wills updated.  She gave us homework to do – lol.  It is hard to decide who your health care proxy and power of attorney should be.  Doing a will is an eye-opening event.  It makes you face your mortality.  Ugh.
     The American Legion post hosted their annual Law & Order dinner.  They honored firemen, two harbormasters, and a police officer who pulled a car off the train tracks minutes before a train rolled through.  One of the firemen was honored for 70 years of service as a volunteer fire fighter with Islip.  It turned out that he was Paul’s cousin! He knew Paul’s mother in high school and served with Paul’s grandfather in the department (his grandfather was a fire chief).  We exchanged information and promised to look each other up this winter when we are down in Florida.
     I took my laptop to Best Buy for tweaking. The tech did not find any viruses.  I saw a gastroenterologist on Monday and had a mammogram on Wednesday.  I took Paul to the Irish Coffee Pub for his birthday. They make the very best potato soup anywhere.
31 October 2019 (Thu - HALLOWEEN) – I had lunch with my daughter, Gina, on Tuesday.  We went to a place called Tula’s Kitchen.  It’s one of those very eclectic health food restaurants that are popping up all over the country.  The food was quite good.  On Wednesday, I had lunch with my sister, Susan.  We went to another eclectic place called Tiger Lily.  Again, the food was very good.
     We had Angel Fence Company come by and we signed a contract for a fence installation along the back of the property.  This it to replace the fence that was damaged during the thunderstorm that rolled through in August.  I sent the estimate to USAA and they already paid off on it – BEFORE we had the work done. I sent a note reminding them it was an estimate and it could wind up costing more depending on what they find when they do the actual installation.
     I spent over two and half hours on the phone in the last two days with Carbonite.  It is a cloud storage service where they back up our computer to the cloud.  When my computer was reset, we lost the program. It would not reinstall properly and I had to get techs to work on the problem.  Apparently, it wasn’t such an easy fix but they finally got it done.
     Today, Paul and I went to the movies to see “The Current Wars.”  It was about the competition among Nikola Tesla, George Westinghouse, and Thomas Edison.  The movie was very interesting and we would highly recommend it.
27 October 2019 (Sun) – It was a busy week.  I watched Lincoln two days this week so Sam could get some extra time in at work.  He is such a pleasant baby.  Always smiling.  Travis started his new job on Wednesday.  Hope it goes well for him.  Also on Wednesday, we went to the ophthalmologist for eye exams.  Paul and I both tested out at 20/25.  The doctor saw some pressure behind my left eye and wants me back in six months.  I’ll see if I can align an appointment with a Sloan Kettering checkup down the road.
     We went to dinner at a Chinese restaurant with friends from the American Legion on Wednesday.  Then we went to dinner at Carrabba’s on Friday with my brother, Dennis, and his lady, Denise.  We had planned to meet them at their apartment before going to dinner but the plans changed.  Dennis & Denise recently moved into their new place and we still want to see it.
     We took Travis and the family to a pumpkin farm yesterday.  It was a small farm but not very busy considering this is the last weekend before Halloween.  They had a play area with bouncy houses and lots of pumpkins to choose from.  There was also a hay ride and a pony taking kids for a ride.
     We went to church this morning.  It was laity Sunday so the service was run by the lay leader. Several of us took part in the service doing readings and leading prayer.  I gave a five minute sermon.  It was a nice service.
21 October 2019 (Mon) – I went to the audiologist at the Northport VA on the 18th.  The doctor found a mild hearing loss in my right ear and a moderate hearing loss in my left ear.  She said it was unusual to have a greater loss in one ear over the other and that I needed to see a doctor to be sure there was not a medical reason for the difference.  She offered to make an appointment at the VA but said I probably wouldn’t get an appointment for two or three months.  We agreed that I would go to a civilian doctor because I could get an appointment sooner.  In the meantime, she would order one hearing aid for my left ear (she said I don’t need one for the right ear).  She also gave me information to download an app for the hearing aid onto my iPhone.  
     I saw a civilian audiologist yesterday.  He insisted on giving me another hearing test.  The results were more symmetrical and he cleared me for the hearing aid.  He suggested I get aids for both ears; the VA doctor refuses to do that.  If I bought the hearing aids at the civilian audiology office, it would cost me $6,000.  Actually, $3,000.  My insurance would pay $3,000 toward the cost.  If I got the hearing aids at the VA, it will cost me nothing.  Guess what I’m doing?
     Miranda and Kenny went to Philly for the weekend and we watched Caiden. We took him to Rise of the Jack O’Lanterns at Old Westbury Gardens on Friday.  They carve 5,000 pumpkins every week for six weeks.  Visitors walk down a trail lined with thousands of pumpkins on display along the walkway.  Several pumpkins had projections that had them singing Halloween songs.  The craftsmanship was simply amazing!
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     On Saturday, we went over to the American Legion Hall where we met Samantha and her mother, Sharon.  Together, we set up tables and arranged everything for Lincoln’s baptism party the next day.  On Sunday, Lincoln Alexander Thomas was baptized.  Afterward, we enjoyed a party at the legion hall.  Lincoln was SO good.  He smiled and laughed all day and then just quietly went to sleep in my arms. Not one little tear or fuss escaped him all day.
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16 October 2019 (Weds) – Another visit to the doctor brought mixed results.  The bloodwork continues to show a decrease in the cancer cells.  However, I am having some adverse effects from the chemo.  I have a rash on my leg and a drying out of my fingertips.  Neuropathy and cellulitis are common side effects.  The doctor told me to stop the Imbruvica for 3 days.  If the rash hasn’t improved, stay off the medication for 5 days. If there is still no improvement, I have to go back and have him treat me topically.  I’ve been doing so well that I find this to be something of a disappointment.  The rash has been getting better so that keeps me hopeful.
     My birthday was on Monday (October 14) and Paul took me to the Texas Roadhouse for dinner.  I took a picture with a margarita at an angle that made the drink look very large.  We have kind of developed a reputation with the margaritas and now find we have to post pictures of these drinks.  It’s kind of funny.
     We are still waiting for the guy behind us to take down two trees that threaten our property.  Three fence companies have given us quotes for a new fence but we won’t do anything until those trees are taken down.  A good windstorm will blow them down and damage the new fence.  We’ll have to go over there for a third time to ask them to take down those trees.  I don’t want to get into sending registered letters threatening legal action like the insurance company is suggesting we do.  Paul thinks the neighbor just can’t afford to pay for a tree removal.  Hmmmm,  what to do. What to do?
 13 October 2019 (Sun) - We took Caiden to church with us today. Afterward, Paul worked with a crew to take apart a piano that needed to be thrown out.  Jan has been advertising the piano for free to anyone but no one has claimed it so it was time to just throw it out.  Caiden and I played in the nursery area until they were finished.
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     It was not a good day for me.  I woke feeling exhausted and nauseous.  At 3:00 p.m., Paul spelled me for an hour and I took a nap.  That was probably one of the best naps I have ever had. I really needed that!  After I woke, I made dinner then took Caiden into the house and gave him a bath.  
     On Friday, we went to an optometrist for eye exams.  I got annoyed with the whole thing.  The doctor was pushy and it seemed like his equipment was rigged so he could do more tests.  You cover one eye, stare at a red spot, and click a switch every time you see a green light.  Everything went fine with the left eye covered.  But when he covered my right eye, I couldn’t really see the red spot. It was faded and disappeared a lot so I just looked around and clicked on the green lights.  When the doctor came back to the room, I said he couldn’t trust the test because I couldn’t see the red light.  He told me not to worry about it.  That didn’t seem right at all.  When I checked with Paul about his test, he had the same experience.  We said we would wait on glasses and left. We won’t go back to him.  I made an appointment with an ophthalmologist.  
10 October 2019 (Thu) – Paul got the heater fixed.  That’s good because the weather has been cool – in the 40s at night.  
     I had an appointment at the VA today.  It is basically a perfunctory checkup.  The doctor knows I am being treated at Sloan Kettering and really just want a backup with the VA in the event I have trouble getting my medication.  She is a very pleasant doctor and completely understands my motivations.  She did make an appointment for me to see someone in dermatology.  I have a small spot on my bottom lip that I thought was chapped lips.  But it has been there a couple of months and now has started to change color.  My sister was just diagnosed with skin cancer and that made me think I should probably get my lip checked out.
     After the VA, I met my sister, Susan, and her daughter, Shay, for lunch at Tula Kitchen.  It is an eclectic restaurant with vegetarian dishes that are very different.  Susan, her husband, Bill, Shay and her boyfriend, Pat, just returned from a trip to Scandinavia.  Susan’s friend, Ronnie, passed away and left Susan and Bill to handle his affairs. Ronnie’s body was cremated and they took the ashes to Sweden where Ronnie was born.  After Sweden, they went to Norway and Iceland.  It was a great trip.
    Travis lost his job.  He has had such rotten luck with work.  Hope he finds a new one quickly.  They are in the middle of having their mortgage modified and this will certainly have an impact.  Lincoln will be baptized on October 20.  I coordinated with the American Legion Post to have a party there after the christening. The commander initially told me I had to pay $300.  When I told him commanders (past and present) were allowed one free rental a year and a second at half price when I was commander, he relented and will let us use the hall at no charge.  That was very nice of him.  We coordinated times to open the building.
8 October 2019 (Tue) – We took Caiden to church with us on Sunday. It was a pretty busy day with him. His father worked from 10 a.m. to 10:30 p.m.  I gave Caiden his bath, read his books, and sang some songs.  He didn’t want to eat steak for dinner.  When I told him that was it for the night.  He didn’t have to eat it but there wouldn’t be anything else. We then went about eating and quietly watched while he ate his steak and a piece of potato.  It was amusing to watch the quiet surrender.
     Kenny was home on Monday so we did not watch Caiden but we did have them come in for dinner.  We had burgers, fries, and corn.  Caiden ate about half his burger, some fries, and made a token effort at the corn then was done.  I gave him chocolate ice cream for dessert.  That sure pumped him up! The sugar rush kept him running back and forth for an hour.
     Today, Kenny worked from 10 to 4.  Paul and I ran some errands.  I picked Kenny up at 4:15 and Paul got Caiden from the bus.  At 5 p.m., Paul and I went down to the church to help clean up after the yard sale.  There were several pieces of furniture (desks, dressers, couches, loveseats) left over that we had to break up and put in the dumpster.  Several of us turned out for the job and it took just over an hour to get it all done.  
 5 October 2019 (Sat) – We returned to New York on September 30 from the SMART National Muster in Urbanna, VA.  We stopped two nights in Washington, D.C. staying on Joint Base Andrews AFB.  The campground certainly could use some TLC.  Everything is run down and looking worn.  It seems weird that they would let it look like that since the President’s plane is kept there.  You’d think since it was a flagship airfield that they would keep it up better.  Paul thinks the only reason Andrews AFB is kept open is because it’s close to D.C.
     Well, I goofed big time.  I was trying to update our travel journal and I got an error message from the computer.  I inadvertently clicked on a RESET button and the computer reset itself back to its default mode.  All the programs and apps that we have loaded on the computer since we bought it six years ago were wiped off.  The version of Word that I have using (Word 2010) was removed and a docx file replaced it. That updated version would not open the older version.  Ugh. Poor Paul has spent hours reloading all those lost programs.  At least when the computer reset itself, it made a list of all those programs that were removed.  There is a list to follow in reestablishing the programs.
     Miranda is in Maine this week.  We have been driving Kenny back and forth to work and watching Caiden in between work and school.  He is a very energetic little boy!
     The church had a yard sale yesterday.  The weather was beautiful and there were yard sales all over town.  I drove down Brook Street (a small back street that cuts between two main roads) and there were four yard sales on that street alone.  It was a long day.  We went down to the church at 8 am and helped set up, then helped with the fair all day until it ended at 3 pm.  I picked Caiden up at noon and he enjoyed visiting at the fair.  At the end of the fair, all the stuff that didn’t sell went into the dumpster.  It was awful! We were throwing new or barely used items away – CDs, DVDs, glassware, toys, games, electronics, furniture, everything!  It all went into the garbage.  It sure seemed like all that stuff could have gone somewhere.  Oh, well.  
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astridstorm · 5 years
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Time to be Mary
Today is my last Sunday with you for a while. I will be away for four weeks, starting tomorrow. The clergy filling in for me are Melissa Lamkin, who will be with you the first two Sundays and is the chaplain of the school at Trinity Wall Street; and Cheryl Parris, who will be with you for the second two weeks and has ties to Trinity Wall St, as well. Both are wonderful priests and I’m grateful they are able to be here. Father Newcomb, our Rector Emeritus, will be my back-up for any pastoral emergencies that come up--hopefully none. As I say every time I’m about to go away, Please keep your emergencies to a minimum!
My family and I will be on the road, and then with my extended family in a very small town in Colorado. Some of you know this, but my family on my mother’s side had, through marriage, a Mormon connection (this was about 100 years ago), and bought some property in the highest incorporated town in the United States--Alma, Colorado--just in case the end of the world should come. I’m not sure how exactly being high on an uninhabitable mountain would help in such circumstances, but I believe the thinking was, Jesus would come get you and it would be better to be up high and easy for him to find. Any case, I’m grateful for their religious fanaticism because now I have a place to go enjoy my family and this beautiful world. 
This is not the first time I’ve set out on vacation just after this reading in our Gospel about Mary and Martha, and so (because of it falling at this time of the year) I always see in it a call away from the hectic life in which we find ourselves much of the year, and to something different, something quieter, slower, and yet equally important.
Mary and Martha were close friends of Jesus, along with their brother Lazarus. All of them appear a number of times in the Gospels and throughout the church year. We just recently read the story where Mary anointed Jesus’ feet, a gesture that foreshadowed his burial. That was on the fifth Sunday of Lent, on the cusp of Holy Week. Also in Lent we sometimes read where Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead as his sisters Mary and Martha stand by, expectantly waiting. This, too, anticipates Jesus’ death and burial. 
And then here, in high summer, a more prosaic encounter, chronologically in the Gospels, the first of Jesus’ meetings with these three siblings.
Jesus on his journey from Galilee to Jerusalem stops in Bethany, at the home of Mary, Martha and Lazarus. Martha gets busy cooking and preparing a meal for him and his disciples. Meanwhile her sister Mary sits at Jesus’ feet--the posture of a disciple to a teacher--listening to what he has to teach. Martha out of the corner of her eye catches a glimpse of Mary off there in the other room, seeming to her idle, and she comes in and tells Jesus to make her sister get up and help her. But he refuses. In fact, he goes so far as to praise Mary for her supposed idleness. "Mary has chosen the better part,” he says.
Among Christians who hear this passage, sisters with sisters tend to really connect with it. The last time this came up just before I left on vacation, I was also (like now) preparing to meet my extended family, including my older sister. Inigo was a baby then, I was a new mother. When we arrived in Missouri where we were all meeting that year, I recall my sister and her family rolling up in their minivan. I was sitting on the front porch of my aunt’s farmhouse feeding Inigo, and as I sat there, I watched my sister unpack her car. It was like watching one of those clown cars; things kept rolling out, provisions of all kinds: homemade jams, a couple pies, a sewing bag, a cooler of meat and spices, a first-aid kit, gifts for our host, five matching suitcases, all of this packed so artfully that there was still room for everyone’s pre-packed travel supplies and games. 
It was one of my first experiences as a new mother realizing how unprepared I was for the task, but not my first time feeling very much the inadequate younger sister. But parents here know, non-parents, too: Life soon demands that we become dutiful Marthas whether it comes naturally or not. And so, eight years later, I have to make myself stop, and remember what it was like to be Mary. To sit, to think, to listen, not to worry about where I’m supposed to be or whether I’m doing enough or whether what I’m doing is good enough. 
It is of absolute importance for our spiritual health to find every now and again our Mary side. I think the church has us read this story here because maybe now we can do that. Grace in the Christian tradition is love that isn’t tied to who we are or what we do, but to our being, and simply that. To apprehend that, as we can only do in moments of stillness and rest, is to be well on the way on our spiritual journey. 
So work when you must, and diligently, BUT I hope you make time to sit, to listen, and to remember, Grace is effortless. And there for us all. Amen.
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