#there absolutely were lesbians that were with men historically. because they were either bisexual women

[butchvamp]

ohhh my god i need to get off this website

#first mistake going into the lesbian tag just to immediately see lesbophobia #crazy to me that the popular stance from so many other gay ppl rn is just ‘lesbophobia is good’ #i cannot take it anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #why is everyone suddenly so obsessed with 'proving' that lesbians can be with men #and why are so many people being so horrible and misrepresenting our history #there absolutely were lesbians that were with men historically. because they were either bisexual women #that were forced to mislabel themselves bc of the violent biphobia in the lesbian feminist movement #or they were women unknowingly dealing with compulsive heterosexuality #like how disgusting do you have to be to look at some of these women and be like 'this was when queers were REALLY QUEER' #instead of like. having empathy and understanding about their situation #and also acknowledge that language has changed. there is no lesbian feminism anymore lesbianism is a sexuality that EXCLUDES MEN #end of sentence #there is a difference between someone questioning or who found out they were lesbian later in life #or historically where these words had different meaning the community & society was Completely Different #versus you assholes deliberately trying to force lesbianism to include men to be 'progressive' #like just so fucking vile. you should be ashamed of yourselves #literally just cannot go into any gay spaces as a lesbian anymore because it's just constant lesbophobia and no one cares #theyre more concerned with being So Inclusive and the Better Queer that they'd rather exclude an entire part of the community #and deem them 'less than' #while parroting the same shit conservatives say to all lesbians #did you win? do you feel good about ignoring and talking over and excluding us?

[demonslayedher]

What were gay and lesbian relationships like in the Taisho era? How frowned upon was it to see them flirting or public kissing (nothing explicit, just casual kissing or "how beautiful you are my love" flirtation)?

Yyyyeah… short answer is that Taisho was a bad time to be anything but cis and straight. And male, for that matter, as the Meiji Civil Code of 1898 made women entirely subordinate to men (like described in this post about Uzui & having multiple wives). While Taisho is known as a period of “free love,” this started to happen later in Taisho, and was more in reference to young couples meeting and deciding if they liked each other first so their opinions had more weight in their marriages instead of everything being decided by their families (described in more detail and used to analyze KnY characters here). As a major cultural shift, teenage girls became drivers of commercial culture, and they saw the world through romantic lenses, and they had standards for who they liked. Kiyo, Sumi, and Naho would likely get to enjoy this era at its height. However, that was the extent of “free love.” As a very, very brief history of Japan’s LGBT history…

...I'm going to say right now, and remind you later on, that this is not a scholarly article and my blog is not a scholarly resource. Also, as I'm writing this, my brain is half-dead from real life paperwork, so it's going to jump all over the place. However, please note that I wanted to focus on facts and history as told about as told by LGBT advocates, because diving straight into the history means you're going to get very different definitions. The modern LGBT community in Japan uses terminology essentially the same as other worldwide LGBT communities, so their angle makes this easier to highlight what's different and what's relevant. As a refresher, I found this article and this article especially helpful, but I do not know how useful Google translate will be on them.

So then to dive into history...

Yes, there absolutely were gay samurai warlords, famous ones, too! Men could be recognized for having straight or gay or bisexual orientation, as sexuality was closely associated with manhood. Women? Pfft. Women don’t have sexuality.* Or at least, that was so generally accepted that no one really even paid much attention to sexual relationships between women; there wasn’t even terminology for it because it was so overlooked. While literature about sexual relations between men (or not-quite-men, as was the case was in beautiful young amab persons) was rampant, literature about the sexual relations between women existed too, but it had more potential to be played off as a joke. After all, women don’t have sex drive, silly.*

*Please note, this is sarcasm.

Being transgender wasn’t really enough of a concept to have terminology for it, either. While there certainly were people who identified with a different gender than they were assigned at birth and convincingly lived like that, or were assigned the opposite gender than their parts implied and were raised that way, historically they were looked at as “men in women’s clothing” or “women in men’s clothing” instead of ever having transitioned from one gender to another, or having been a different one all along. There just wasn’t a sex .vs. gender set of vocabulary to work with, which is why applying labels like “trans” wouldn’t quite translate to the people who lived these experiences, even if they did relate to the core ideas.

OTHER HISTORY STUFF which doesn't translate well into modern ideas

While this is going to take us away from the Taisho topic, there are other points to note which make the historical homosexual culture different from modern LGBT culture, and I’m going to get it all out of my system right here, just so I have this all in one place (this is ONLY a general overview to frame thinking, not a historical resource, do not quote my blog as a scholarly source, I’ve forgotten which books and classes and articles I’ve picked these things up from over the years, and I'm not going to dig back up my 30 page undergrad paper about masculinity and idealized samurai, also, wow, is it midnight already?? Basically, I just have the unfortunate task describing how it wasn't all nice rainbows): --Homosexual relationships usually circled around the romance of power imbalance; one partner having significant social power over the other, and often being much older. This idea is practically inseparable from the Warring States and Edo period notions of sexual relationship between men (so not exactly what we’d call wholesome nowadays, sorry, this is the majority of what to expect if you have any interest in this topic)

--Marriage wasn’t considered a pact between people and gods until the Meiji period, when Japan was going through a strengthening of its own religious convictions as a means of national identity, so Shintoism and Buddhism didn’t exactly prohibit it, it was out of their bounds, kind of

--The Edo period did have anti-gay restrictions due to moral panic, but they were trying to curb all kinds of moral panics that caused societal disturbances, be it Christianity, women in theater, lovers’ suicides, overly enthusiastic displays of bravery through eager seppuku, wearing clothes too fancy for your social class, etc. Jealous lovers’ spats over those dang pretty boys had to be stopped!

--It’s generally accepted that Japan had “acceptance” of individuals of ambiguous gender or who married people who appeared to be the same gender, even if that person wore the clothes typical of a husband or wife role. However, this was not an active acceptance (of the “cool, what are your pronouns?” variety), but a passive acceptance (“that guy’s wearing lipstick… oh well, not gonna ruin my day” variety). It was not the norm at all, but it wasn’t seen as harmful or worthy of a fuss.

--While there’s a long history of literary characters living contrary to the sexual binary and crossing gender lines, the narrative tension of these stories often relied on the idea that no matter how convincing they might be, they can’t escape the gender associated with their physical parts (thereby not a total acceptance or recognition of the label of their choosing). It's not to say you can't find counter-examples, but again, the terminology I've most often seen used was "men in women's clothing" and "women in men's clothing."

--Marriage and family registry regulations did exist in Edo, sort of. People needed to be registered at their local temple for census-like reasons (and for reasons of stamping out the Hidden Christians). Per local regulations (which could be pretty lose), if you were taking a wife you might have had to report her name and what temple her family was registered under, and maybe a really fastidious monk would say, “hey, that name was registered as a son, what the hell,” but it was also kind of easy to fudge the report and find it unlikely if someone would check if that family temple existed or not. --Also, prior to the influence of Western mindsets, the Edo period saw its own resurgences of Confucian values which paved some of the way for societal changes which would come later.

KNOCK KNOCK... IT'S THE MEIJI RESTORATION

So then came Meiji, when Japan very, very quickly adopted Western culture so that they could be on an even playing field with other world powers. While this did mean strengthening their own national identity and army (which is part of what led to the strengthening of family regulations and civil codes, to raise a strong and united populace), it also meant taking in a lot of Western influence all at once, that was when Japan was awash with the concept that homosexuality was a sin. Next thing you know, gay couples (or couples in which one person had male parts but identified as female) were not officially recognized, and then homosexual relations become a criminal act in 1872, but this was later rescinded in 1880. The damage was done, society turned very harsh against homosexual relations. I know, I know. It's the truth you really don't want to hear if you're going for historical accuracy in fanwork. Tanjiro and his cohorts grew up in a time of widespread homophobia. This is your general reminder that fanfiction can be whatever you want and you can choose to ignore this. This homophobia didn’t really go away until the Americans came in in 1945 and restructured Japanese society around personal freedoms. It didn’t take long for gay bars to hit the scene in the 1950s.  

However, clearly sexuality is only a thing men have.* Those Taisho period girls, getting along really well? Clearly they have a sisterly relationship, they’re very close.*

*All sarcasm.

To back up a bit, even straight Taisho couples—proper married ones and everything!—wouldn’t be caught holding hands in public. Scandalous! The women is subordinate to the man, she always walks behind him. Flirting in public? Heavens, no!* While I did get another Ask about Taisho dating and will go into it more there, in general, Taisho couples were considered very shy when it came to dating and courtship. It was their chance to find partners of their choosing, after all, they couldn't afford to spoil this precious freedom. *Sarcasm. Couples found ways. Popular date spots were where they could avoid being seen.

I’m not kidding about that not-holding-hands stuff. It really wasn’t something you’d see couples do, unless they wanted everyone talking trash about them. Couples going on long walks and fancy dates together was totally a thing, but at least under public eye, you kept a chaste distance.

But then how would they express their maidenly passion...?

Love letters flourished in the late Meiji through early Showa period. There were even magazines dedicated to them, still in collections like the National Diet Library Japan. As I can only read modern Japanese these are difficult for me to read, but dang, for what I can make out, they sound like giddy teenage girls of today. They feel like Mitsuri, talking about all those flighty doki-dokis! And there was a particular genre of them, called “S” (pronounced in loanword katakana, “esu”). For “Sister,” clearly.

C-l-e-a-r-l-y.*

*Sarcasm.

So yeah.

Passionate, touchy-feeling relationships between girls, and the tension of being unable to confess love to one another or pining for one another… we’ve still got those letters, in the true Taisho style of flirting. Take that, Edo period Neo-Confucionists. Taisho Period Girl Power.

#kny references #kny reference

[thehealingsystem]

I don't know how to feel right now. Youtube is talking about mspec lesbian discourse and I just...can't anymore. Just the same discourse over and over again full of people who don't even identify that way and don't know what they're talking about from both sides. "Actual lesbians," "real lesbians," "fake lesbians," "just bisexual," okay just ENOUGH already. I don't know why there has to be so much toxicity around ONE niche identity. It is ONE identity, who are small, and normally just have their personal reasons for doing so. The lesbian community is not being invaded, destroyed, or anything like that, by such a small group of people. And they're...mspecs. Bisexuals, pansexuals, polysexuals, omnisexuals, etc. they're not 'invading' anything. How can you invade a community you were always a part of?

Even if there wasn't any historical factor to this, why does it matter that much? Why harass someone and make their life miserable over this ONE FUCKING tiny thing. I am so SICK of having to see and deal with so much bullshit over my identity from people who are supposed to support me! I can't even feel free to change labels and discover new things about myself because I feel the need to defend this one! Like if realizing that I'm not pan lesbian and just lesbian would be admitting they're right!

I was dumb and had told those who were against it that I wasn't sure if I even liked boys. They took that to mean that I absolutely didn't like boys at all and discarded the pan part. But they still tell me I can't be lesbian because I'm not a 'non-man.'

Others found out and they yell at me that "men can't be lesbians" when I'm around. They tell me I can't be a lesbian because "I'm a boy." It doesn't matter that they know I'm non-binary, multigender, genderfluid, and not just a boy or really even identify with the binary concept of manhood that would make attraction to women straight. They do not care, because lesbian is non-men attracted to non-men.

Why do y'all hate mspecs so much? Why do you hate multigender and genderfluid people so much? I literally just started realizing I may be connected to femininity and girlhood in the same way I am masculinity and boyhood. I denied it before because it was either one or the other, and I couldn't even get people in my life to accept me as a nonbinary boy, so why would I allow them to think of me as 'still a girl?'

I don't get it. I can't even make friends because I'm so scared of people. I can't interact with fandoms because I don't know who's going to attack me or not. Why is this right at all? Am I really that wrong? I can't help how I feel about myself, so why do they act like I can just choose? I don't know. I just wish this discourse could pass just like all the others before it

#mspec lesbian #lesboy #bi lesbian #pan lesbian #poly lesbian #omni lesbian #male lesbian #multigender #genderfluid #nonbinary #cw discourse #cw queerphobia #cw exclusionism #cw vent #I am so sick of feeling like a horrible person over this one thing #why does this one thing define me? #why is it worth not being friends with me? #why is it worth bullying and harassing me? #I don't know

[dakotadawn]

what you fail to understand is that no matter what radfems and terfs tell you, out in the real world, people aren’t just attracted to others based on what chromosome they have. sexuality is a nuanced and implacable thing for a lot of people. many people! including many people who identify as lesbians, and gay men. if you’ve ever been or lived in a big city with a large LGBT scene — New York, Chicago, LA, San Fran, London, Edinburgh, Brighton, Manchester, Liverpool, Paris — you will find that many (though admittedly, not all) of the people there just… accept trans people as our identified gender. Especially in the LGBT scene, the punk scene, the metal scene, the emo scene, the goth scene, the standup comedy scene, the skateboarding scene, the graffiti scene — anything radical and counterculture. You’ll find that, no matter what terfs tell you, “lesbian” and “gay” are not scientific concepts, they are cultural ones. They are not dictionary definitions, they are labels people choose from based on what fits them best. There is not an innate compass within us pointing to either an X or a Y chromosome; our understandings of ourselves are defined by an amalgam of our experiences, our biological predilections (which yes, often play an enormous part in this) and our intangible sense of self. This is why zoologists don’t define animals as gay or straight; rather they write of “same sex sexual behaviour” because, of course, a chimp or a dog or a penguin has no notion of what a lesbian or a bisexual is. It’s the same reason historians often recommend sorting far past historical figures into modern day understandings of sexuality — while Plato would probably understand himself today to be a gay man, the cultural ideas of sexuality and gender in ancient Greece didn’t work on the same metric or understanding as ours; not because they were wrong, not because they hadn’t “discovered” sexual orientation yet, but because their cultural ideals and norms were different to ours, much like they still are in other places in the world, in other cultures. As recently as the 60s bisexual women were considered wholly to be lesbians, by the lesbian community. Not because they didn’t understand themselves, but because the word meant something different then! It was used in a different way. Words and concepts are not immutable, our experiences define language, not the other way around.

I never denied that sexuality is more complicated than genetic makeup. I wouldn't be attracted to a passing postoperative MtF transsexual because she appears, in all senses, to be a female. I am not magically drawn to her XY chromosomes. I will accept other trans people socially as their identity, I'd be hypocritical to not, and thus socially I will treat a trans man as a dude. However, I wouldn't date someone who has a vagina.

Yes, I am shocked as to how much people accept and validate this whole trans thing in reality. I went in expecting that the majority of mankind would see me as a delusional freak. However, I think social acceptance is one thing. Most people will respect me as a human being, but don't want to sleep with me, because they do not find a body like mine attractive. That's okay. I'll find somebody someday. There are actually plenty of guys who have a thing for this so I'm sure I can find someone.

I'm not saying anyone's individual experience of sexuality is not real, but trans activists need to stop demanding lesbians sleep with trans women and gay men sleep with trans men, its nasty homophobic incel behavior. If we want respect, we must also respect others, and that includes respecting their boundaries. It is not transphobic for a straight man or a lesbian to refuse to date a trans woman, because they aren't attracted to biological males, and that's *fine*. Cotton ceiling rhetoric is absolutely disgusting and I will not change my mind on that matter.

Also, don't act like all radical feminism is is the trans debate, there's more to it than that. My core radfem beliefs are anti-porn and sex trade abolition, as I think those are two of the biggest problems and setbacks to women's rights that libfem ideology has created.

#trans #trans discourse #sexuality #sexuality discourse #dakota answers! #asks #anon asks #radfem #libfems

[olderthannetfic]

(The majority of members of these communities are not monosexual either. They tend to be like a third bi/pan/etc. and a third ace as far as I can tell. That’s sort of a side point but sort of not. These are spaces of liminal queerness and contested identities played out on less contested bodies, just as drag plays out contested queer genders in the form of parodic excesses of conventional genders.)

-

could you elaborate on what you mean by this a little? it resonates as accurate, certainly i use fandom spaces to explore asexuality and gender and the like, but i'm wondering if there was anything specific you were trying to get at as well

--

A lot of commentary about BL type fandoms focuses on cis gay men and the idea that we're writing about gay men. Sometimes, that's true. There are certainly phases where I see a lot of presumed-straight-in-canon characters written as 1000000% gay. But it's far, far more common to find bi men in m/m fanfic than in m/m movies or other bigger pro media.

To understand what the deal is with these BL spaces, you have to grapple with the fact that it's not primarily The Straights, nor is it cis gay men writing about cis gay men. It tends to be people who don't have a tidy category to write about. Not that one can't write OCs who are exactly like oneself, of course... but...

I guess it feels a little mean to me the way there's this 'stay in your lane' vibe coming off of a lot of critique. If you're a cis gay man, you're going to get kicked around by society, but what your lane is is reasonably clear.

If you're like "Uh... nb... I guess? Or genderqueer? Or agender? I don't fucking know!" are you supposed to pick a specific identity and stick to that? Does the Council of Genderweird need to hand down a ruling on which genders you're allowed to write about, or does it just have to match what's in your pants? (And if so, what about people with ambiguous genitalia? They exist!)

Bisexuality and asexuality are moderately less confusing than a lot of gender stuff, I suppose, but even though stereotypes of bi men and bi women are different, there's a certain commonality to both being bi. Ditto bisexuals of other genders. Same with asexuals of various genders. These identities aren't in neat gender boxes. They don't fit tidily into a bifurcated notion of "queer history".

These are identities that don't have history.

I don't mean "nobody was ace before five years ago on tumblr, hur hur". I mean that the scanty history we do know of queerness tends to be of cis gay men and cis lesbians. Some of those individuals in the modern day would likely identify as bisexual, trans, and all sorts of things, but we don't have them around to ask. We have a written record and the attempts at historical preservation the queer community has done in the past, which tended to simplify things to gay guys and lesbians most of the time.

So when I catch a whiff of "Leave the m/m to cis gay men" or even "Leave the m/m to cis queer men", it irritates me because it's so obviously punching down.

BL fandom is an active process of people in these mushy boundary categories creating a record of our self expression.

Slash fandom is the birth of a bi aesthetic. It's necessary allegorical distance for people who don't feel at home in their parts, at least not if those parts are bumping uglies, whether that's because they're asexual or because they're trans and partners see them the wrong way right now. It's an amorphous queer space carved out for those of us who aren't hanging out in the rigid cis gay men and cis lesbians camps.

Which isn't to say that cis gay men or cis lesbians aren't also in BL space. They absolutely are. I just think tumblr has been trained to center these two experiences by a lot of rhetoric about ownvoices and representation.

What if you have an identity where Representation™ of yourself makes you uncomfortable? What if you don't know what you are? What if you're so weird you might be the only one?

Cis gay men's gender is an area where a lot of assumptions get foisted on them by society. They also have a more complex relationship to gender and to various cultural norms than cis straight men do. Drag performance has often been a way of exploring that. It's easier to express this complicated mess through a metaphor than through just depicting gay men's actual genders and other people stereotyping them.

Cis gay men are allowed that kind of space to play.

But BL fandom people are not afforded that same space and respect.

There is a constant demand that our art be for other people rather than ourselves and that we never descend into allegory that might overlap with somebody else's literal representation.

I think this is a bad trend and its philosophical underpinnings are rotten.

[posi-pan]

(Okay so I tried to search your blog before asking this in case you’ve answered it before, but tumblr’s search is stupid and it wouldn’t work lol so sorry if you have already answered stuff like this!)

But I’m a little confused with something I keep seeing people talk about and I feel like you’re a good person to ask to explain this since 1. I trust your responses lol and 2. your answers are always simple and straightforward. What exactly is a bi/pan lesbian? And why do people dislike them so much?? Is the dislike warranted (like are they genuinely harmful etc?) or is it just more queerphobia? I’ve tried looking it up before but tbh every answer I read feels way too complicated for me to grasp it and it just makes me more confused. Are they just bi/pan with heavy preferences? Or is there a whole other explanation that I’m just not seeing/not understanding? I just really wanna understand, thank you in advance 🥺

so, thank you for thinking my answers are simple and straightforward. i usually feel like i’m making absolutely zero sense or being unnecessarily longwinded lmao. but yeah, i think i’ve posted something about this before, but nothing too detailed.

anyways. an mspec (either pan, bi omni, ply, etc.) lesbian is someone who uses both an mspec label and the lesbian label. there are a lot of different reasons why someone might self-identify this way. some of those reasons include:

being attracted to women and nonbinary people (this isn’t saying people attracted to women and nonbinary folks can’t be lesbians. it’s one way of acknowledging nonbinary doesn’t mean “basically woman” and lesbian attraction can include more than one gender)

being mspec-sexual and homoromantic or mspec-romantic and homosexual (this is a use of the split attraction model, and saying you’re, for example, “bisexual homoromantic” or “biromantic homosexual” is a bit more of a mouthful than bi lesbian)

using the historic definition of lesbian (lesbian was an umbrella term for all women attracted to women before it became known as exclusive attraction to women due to lesbian separatism)

being unsure if you’re mspec or lesbian and trying out both labels

being attracted largely to women with very rare attraction to men

i’m sure there are other experiences amongst mspec lesbians, but these are just off the top of my head.

the “discourse” surrounding mspec lesbians (and mspec gays) is entirely new and queerphobic. this identity has existed for decades without issue. women have been identifying as bi lesbians for a long time. one of the more historic uses of it that isn’t very common now is that it represented women who were attracted to men and women, but socially were only involved in women/lesbian spaces, or were only interested in having relationships with women. it had more to do with the combination of their sexual and political identities.

people hate the identity so much because they don’t understand it and honestly, don’t want to. many people have been sent sources on it and they just ignore it. they have decided it’s somehow harming “real” lesbians and that’s that. they don’t want to learn otherwise.

they bring up the argument that the identity says lesbians can like men, which one) one person’s identity doesn’t say anything about someone else’s and two) some lesbians do like men. that’s just a fact. and always has been. there have always been lesbians who were attracted to and involved with men.

they also bring up the argument of if lesbians can like men, what do we call people who are only attracted to women (and sometimes some nonbinary people), and the answer is always, whatever those individuals want to be called. labels don’t exist for us to apply to others. they exist for us to claim for ourselves and give meaning to based on our personal experiences and feelings.

but yeah, this identity isn’t harming anyone. it has never harmed anyone. it’s simply a different way of good faith self-identification. if that’s how someone makes sense of their identity, which is not clear cut, black and white for everyone, then why does it matter? how is someone using a historic queer identity harm anyone? it doesn’t. queerphobes just fell for assimilationism and hate their own community when they queer in a way that’s different or confusing.

i think i covered most things on this topic. here are some links if you’re interested in some further reading:

carrd with sources and info on mspec lesbians

tumblr with sources and info on bi lesbians

thread of sources on mspec lesbians/gays

thread of historic examples of bi lesbians/gays (this one is by me!)

post of historic examples of bi lesbians/gays (this one is also by me!)

i hope this helps you better understand! i feel like i wasn’t as clear as i could’ve been. please feel free to ask more questions if you have them!

#asks #anonymous #bi lesbian #mspec lesbian #pan lesbian #omni lesbian #ply lesbian #bi gay #pan gay #omni gay #ply gay #mspec gay #reference #long post #*500 #*1k

[rat-bisexual]

A lot of bisexual history has been erased so I figured I’d remind you all of some quotes and clear up any misunderstandings about bisexuality.

Bisexuality has been described as attraction regardless of gender for decades

"I am bisexual because I am drawn to people regardless of gender"

-‘The Bisexual Community: Are We Visible Yet?’, 1987

“In the midst of whatever hardships we [bisexuals] had encountered, this day we worked with each other to preserve our gift of loving people for who they are regardless of gender.”

-Elissa M., “Bi Conference,” Bi Women, 1985

“To be bisexual is to have the potential to be open emotionally and sexually to people as people, regardless of their gender.”

-Office Pink Publishing, “Introduction,” Bisexual Lives, 1988

“Being bisexual does not mean they have sexual relations with both sexes but that they are capable of meaningful and intimate involvement with a person regardless of gender.”

-Janet Bode, “The Pressure Cooker,” View From Another Closet, 1976

“Over the past fifteen years, however, [one Caucasian man] has realized that he is ‘attracted to people — not their sexual identity’ and no longer cares whether his partners are male or female. He has kept his Bi identity and now uses it to refer to his attraction to people regardless of their gender.”  

-Paula C. Rust, “Sexual Identity and Bisexual Identities,” Queer Studies: A Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Anthology, 1998

“In the midst of whatever hardships we [bisexuals] had encountered, this day we worked with each other to preserve our gift of loving people for who they are regardless of gender.”

-Elissa M., “Bi Conference,” Bi Women, 1985

“To be bisexual is to have the potential to be open emotionally and sexually to people as people, regardless of their gender.”

-Office Pink Publishing, “Introduction,” Bisexual Lives, 1988

Bisexuality doesn’t have to mean a person “sees gender”

“[S]ome bisexuals say they are blind to the gender of their potential lovers and that they love people as people… For the first group, a dichotomy of genders between which to choose doesn’t seem to exist”

-Kathleen Bennett, “Feminist Bisexuality, a Both/And Option for an Either/Or World,” Closer to Home: Bisexuality and Feminism,1992

"Some bisexual respondents bypass the issue of 'degrees' of attraction to women and men by defining bisexuals as a humanistic, gender-blind way of relating to others. They see bisexuality as a way of loving the person, not their sex, or being nondiscrimintory in their attractions to others. For example, Ludwica wrote, 'I feel as if I'm open to respond to the person, not just the gender.' "

-"Bisexuality and the Challenge to Lesbian Politics: Sex, Loyalty, and Revolution" by Paula C Rust 1995

“I believe that people fall in love with individuals, not with a sex… I believe most of us will end up acknowledging that we love certain people or, perhaps, certain kinds of people, and that gender need not be a significant category, though for some of us it may be.”

Ruth Hubbard, ‘There Is No ‘Natural’ Human Sexuality, Bi Women’ ,1986

“Some women who call themselves ‘bisexual’ insist that the gender of their lover is irrelevant to them, that they do not choose lovers on the basis of gender.”

-Marilyn Murphy, “Thinking About Bisexuality,” Bi Women, 1991

“Some of us are bisexual because we do not pay much attention to the gender of our attractions.”

-Bisexual Politics, Quiries and Visions, 1995

Bisexuality is inclusive of all genders

“Who is this group for exactly? Anyone who identifies as bisexual or thinks they are attracted to or interested in all genders… This newly formed [support] group is to create a supportive, safe environment for people who are questioning their sexual orientation and think they may be bisexual.”

-“Coming Out as Bisexual,” Bi Women, 1994

“It’s easier, I believe, for exclusive heterosexuals to tolerate (and that’s the word) exclusive homosexuals than [bisexuals] who, rejecting exclusivity, sleep with people not genders…”

-Martin Duberman, 1974 “The bisexual community should be a place where lines are erased. Bisexuality dismisses, disproves, and defies dichotomies. It connotates a loss of rigidity and absolutes. It is an inclusive term.” -‘Essay for the Inclusion of Transsexuals’, Kory Martin-Damon, 1995

“Bisexual — being emotionally and physically attracted to all genders.”

-The Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network, “Out of the Past: Teacher’s Guide” 1999

"Bisexuality is much more than, and different from, the sensationalized 'third choice, best of both worlds' phenomena it's made out to be. Bisexuality is an inclusive term that defines immense possibilities avalable to us, whether we act on them or not."

-"Bi Any Other Name", Loraine Hutchens and Lani Ku'ahumany, 1991

"Bisexual consciousness, because of its amorphous quality and inclusive nature, posed a fundamental threat to the dualistic and exclusionary thought patterns which were- and still are- tenaciously held by both the gay liberation leadership and its enemies."

-"The Bisexual Movement's Beginnings in the 70s'', Bisexual politics, Naomi Tucker, 1995

Bisexuality historically and currently includes transgender and nonbinary people

“With respect to our integrity as bisexuals, it is our responsibility to include transgender people in our language, in our communities, in our politics, and in our lives”

-Bisexual Politics: Theories, Queries, and Visions by Naomi S Tucker, 1995

"Bisexuality is here defined as the capacity , regardless of the sexual identity label one chooses , to love and sexually desire both same - and other - gendered individuals . The term other-gendered is used here deliberately and is preferable to the term opposite - gendered , because other - gendered encompasses a recognition of the existence of transgendered and transsexual individuals , who may embrace gender identities other than [male and female]"

-"Bisexuality: The Psychology and Politics of an Invisible Minority" by Beth A. Firestein and Dallas Denny, 1996

“From the earliest years of the bi community, significant numbers of TV/TS [transvestite/transsexual] and transgender people have always been involved with it. The bi community served as a kind of refuge for people who felt excluded from the established gay and lesbian communities.”

-Kevin Lano, “Bisexuality and Transgenderism,” Anything That Moves, 1998

"Bisexuality means having the capacity to be attracted to people of both major genders ( don't forget: there are gender minorities, too) ." “As with the word Bisexual, they usually also imply that relations with gender minorities are possible.”

-‘Bisexuality: A Reader and a Sourcebook’, 1990

“There were a lot of transvestites and transsexuals who came to [the San Francisco Bisexual Center in the 1970s], because they were not going to be turned away because of the way they dressed.”

-David Lourea in “Bisexual Histories in San Francisco in the 1970s and Early 1980s,” Dworkin, 2000 Journal of Bisexuality

"The actual lived non-binary history of the bisexual community and movement and the inclusive culture and community spirit of bisexuals are eradicated when a binary interpretation of our name for ourselves is arbitrarily assumed."

-"Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out" by Lani Ka’ahumanu

"In the bisexual movement as a whole, transgendered individuals are celebrated not only as an aspect of the diversity of the bisexual community, but, because like bisexuals, they do not fit neatly into dichotomous categories."

-"Bisexuality and the Challenge to Lesbian Politics" by Paula C. Rust, 1995

#bisexual #bisexual history #bi pride #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtq history #lgbt history

[genderqueerpositivity]

Honest question (absolutely no hostility intended!) but I've always been told bi lesbian is a contradiction and steeped in both biphobia and lesbophobia. Can you explain it to me?? I know theres the split attraction model but I've always been told that even if you romantically like both but are only sexually attracted to women, by definition a lesbian is only loving women. (I kno bi doesnt have to be men and women either, but it's less No Men and more Only Women I think?) So I'm confused

First of all, the term bisexual lesbian has nothing at all to do with the split attraction model. I have no idea where that misconception came from (probably aphobes), but it isn't true. The SAM has nothing to do with this.

(Edit: it has been pointed out to me that some people do identify as bisexual lesbians in connection with the split attraction model now. Everything below this comment is commentary on the historical origin and use of the term.)

Historically, there wasn't always a cohesive bisexual community like there is today. It took time for the bisexual community to build a movement and become visible. There wasn't always a B in the acronym, and there weren't always spaces that were friendly to multisexual people.

Before those spaces were created, women who loved women were a part of the lesbian community. This includes women who love women that would today idenfity as bisexual, or pansexual, or queer instead. In other words, multisexual women used to be a part of the lesbian community.

Here is a quote from an essay published in a book in 2002 (x):

"I am beginning to understand that many of us with different sexualities have lived, hidden, and passed in the lesbian community not only because it was the best show in town, but because it was the only live girl show in town. If you loved womyn enough to let it move your life, the lesbian-feminist community had to be home; there was nowhere else to go. A radical dyke friend who always talks about the old days and still calls men mutants and dogs, gently confesses, “I’ve always been more physically attracted to men than womyn.”

Lionheart, “Wanting Men”, published in GenderQueer: Voices From Beyond the Sexual Binary"

And here is a poem written by a bisexual lesbian and published in 1995:

(A link to the post with an image description.)

A quote:

"Now I make choices. // Am I finding myself // or has society beaten me down? // Today I choose to choose a woman. // I won’t be shut out from my own community that I’ve worked with // ever since Stonewall. // I won’t be told that I don’t belong // in the only world I’ve ever belonged in. // I love women // and I am a lesbian.

and too // I am bisexual // in my history // in my capacities // in my fantasies // in my abilities // in my love for beautiful people // regardless of gender.

I have the right // to claim my lesbianism // And my bisexuality // even if it confuses you. // I am a lesbian. // I am bisexual. // I am a bisexual lesbian. // Deal with it."

Essentially, bisexual lesbian was a label used by bisexual women who were a part of the lesbian community, aligned with the lesbian community, connected to the lesbian community politically by their shared connections to womanhood and attraction to women.

Multisexual lesbians were every bit as much a part of the lesbian community as monosexual lesbians were.

"I won't be shut out from my community that I've worked with ever since Stonewall." Clearly, in the end, bisexual lesbians were shut out.

I really don't understand the hatred that exists for bisexual lesbians. But I suspect that biphobia has a lot to do with it. And I suspect that the existence of bisexual lesbians makes some people uncomfortable because they make it more difficult to clearly draw an "us" and "them" line between the communities.

Bisexual lesbians are a part of lesbian history. And present. I really don't understand the disrespect they face, really don't.

#ask box #ask

[strawbebehmod]

Some potentially controversial headcanons about sexuality and gender in atla

Ok so I have some headcanons about gender and sexuality in the atlaverse that may controdict some aspects of canon as well as many other's headcanons but I feel go pretty inline with the nations, either based on their inspo country's history or the feel I get from the nations in canon culture. If you disagree that's totally chill I just wanna get my thoughts out there to see who else agrees.

So with that let's begin:

Air nomads

This I think everyone agrees on that the air nomads didn't give a shit about gender or sexuality. Love is love and gender is an illusion.

They also were very pro poly relationships

However, cause of the whole communally raising children thing that's a part of canon I don't think all the temples really had a concept of marriage and some groups may have actually given you odd looks if you wanted to be exclusive with someone

But the general 'let it be' culture meant you really wouldn't get any widespread social grief on the issue just maybe have a few arguments with friends or maybe a partner that wasn't used to being exclusive or was used to being exclusive and you weren't, and you veritably weren't going to be ostracized for your sexuality or preferences in a relationship. It's a domestic issue rather than a social justice one.

Air nomads were by far the most accepting of asexuality and aromaticism.

Water tribe

I actually think things very between the north and the south a lot due to their seperation, but a commonality between them is their strong sense of gender roles and other ridged segregations in gender like the whole waterbending thing.

That being said, transness is very much accepted but there are specific ceremonies for transitioning and coming out to the tribe, and it can mean losing some privileges you had from the gender you were assigned at birth.

There's also a third non-binary gender that has its own specific ceremony. This circumvented a lot of rules about who could learn what type of waterbending, particularly up north but also carried a few unique social responsibilities like officiating weddings but could also strip you of some priviledges from your initially assigned gender, such as paticipation in specific gendered rituals such as women's cerimonies or men's cerimonies.

Those members had their own unique cerimonies and celibrations however.

In the northern watertribe specifically homosexuality is very much accepted but under the current cheiftan unions of politics like Yue's will almost always come before unions of love, so gay individuals can sadly be forced into hetero relationships via arranged mairrage, with the only concessions being that they can take on a single same sex lover outside of the union.

The absoluteness of the arranged mairrage rules can change based on who is in charge however.

Biphobia has had a history of being a problem in the water tribes as they have a huge emphasis on separation and opposites in their culture as their two biggest spirits represent yin and yang. Lesbians were long considered favored by tui and gay men favored by la, as if they were living symbols of the spirits.

There was discourse as to how bi and pan people fit into this model, some even horribly suggesting they were abandoned by the spirits, but the current concesus among spiritual experts and elders is they are actually a symbol of tui and la's love for eachother and thus favored by both.

The southern water tribe has always been laxer about the gender specific stuff and never had the arranged mairrage rules.

It was always much smaller however so LGBT individuals were less common. This often made it harder for homosexual individuals to find romantic love as there were just fewer fellow LGBT people that were avalible.

So if you came out as gay/bi/pan/lesbian to the tribe it was often the tradition to complete your ice dodging cerimony soon after and then become a sailor for at least three years to try and find romance while trading goods with the other nations if you didn't have a partner already.

A majority of southern tribe fishermen/women as a result were LGBT. Being a full-time fisherman is now a euphamism for being a lonely gay person.

Southern watertribe mermaid tales were almost always very gay as a result.

Unfortunately due to the southern watertribe's culture and traditions being decimated by the firenation's raids, a lot of LGBT culture in the southern tribe was also lost.

They're still pretty accepting but because of the dwindled population of the southern tribe and the fact that LGBT people tend to only make up 1-10% of an average population in the real world, it's rare for a gay individual to be born into the southern tribe, usually only once every generation now, if they realize they are gay to begin with.

As a result of that and the fact that bringing it up generally brings up the fact that the firenation destroyed what nice things they had, it's often not talked about outside of between elders mourning better times, which has made it even harder for some individuals to even realize they are LGBT to begin with.

The swamp benders are mostly men who wear leaf loin cloths they gay af and we're probs established by southern watertribe gays and bis that got lost in their travels and decided to settle down in the swamp, eventually attracting the attention of other lgbt earth kingdom people who decided to live with them.

Earth Kingdom

There's a huge divide among how it's treated among peasents and aristocracy

Peasents grew up on stories of past earth kings with many lovers, including several gay ones

So depending on where you live homosexuality is either considered something romantic of fairy-tales or celibrated as something unique and uncommon

In some places where people have more spirituality, some joke that gay people were royals in their past lives.

The earth kingdom is big tho, so some small towns can be homophobic but it's much rarer and usually because they were established by homophobes who were chased from areas that were very anti homophobia.

Fetishization of homosexuality can happen but it's again depending on where you are.

The earth kingdom is also very accepting of asexuality but there are stereotypes such as asexuals usually becoming gurus.

In aristocracy things are a bit different

Homosexuality is still pretty accepted but due to how prevalent arrange mairrages are it's heavily assosiated with affairs and running away from family obligations and thus it's a bit taboo to speak publicly about it in high society.

Lesbianism specifically cause China, what the earth kingdom is based on, has a long history of writing off women's feelings.

The upper crust of Ba Sing Se, despite lots of historically gay earth kings, has a big homophobia issue thanks to the Dai Lee slowly becoming corrupted after Kyoshi died.

Long Feng particularly had a hand in making talking about gay stuff practically off the table or seen as only something for filthy commoners.

Transgenderism, again cause of China historically treating women like shit, is a subject of a lot of discourse in the Earth kingdom, although there are no legal issues with being transgender and one can have their passports changed in certian cities and towns to reflect their gender identity if they move there, but only in those specific towns.

Omashu is one of them and is extremely pro trans and in general pro LGBT even among the aristocracy, infact king Bumi in his first year of rule established specific holidays for celibrating trans people, gay men, lesbians, asexuals, bisexuals, agender people, and any other gender or sexual identity Bumi knew about.

He has added to the list since. Whenever he finds out about a new gender identity or sexuality he sets the day he found out as a day for a feats next year celibrating it.

This is why there are so many feasts in omashu.

He also often officiates gay weddings himself because according to him "gay weddings are the most interesting and creative. They all have mad geniuses for their wedding planners I tell ya"

Tbh he will randomly show up to any wedding in his city cause he loves parties but he will specifically officiate gay ones.

The Fire Nation

Ok this is where some people may get pissed cause I disagree that the firenation is horribly homophobic

I know it was stated by one of the creators that the firenation has anti gay laws thanks to Sozin but Japan had a loooooong history of celibrating gay stuff prior to westernization and the firenation is based off of Japan. Also kinda headcanon Sozin as having a thing for Roku that fell apart with the whole war bs.

So Sozin never imo put into place any homophobic laws aside from banning gay writings and plays within the palace out of bitterness of having Roku betray him and just didn't want to have anything around him that would remind him of him. Dude got so mopey over it he neglected his wife and children a lot, despite the whole thing being 100% his fault.

Azulon on the other hand was a homophobic son of a bitch and put a lot of anti gay and trans laws into effect. While none outlawed same sex relations, they included ones that allowed people to get away with firing people or harming people for being LGBT.

Ozai was also extremely homophobic.

But before all this the fire nation was practically a gay paradise. Fire is the element of passion, and so gay sex and relationships were considered for a long time just as normal as heterosexual relationships.

There were festivals and holidays celibrating gay lovers, lots of LGBT writing and art, and many many plays on the subject

There were several folk stories of Agni the sun spirit coming down to earth to meet his male human lovers, including one that explained why we have night and day. (Tui introduced Agni to one of the volcano spirit's sons so that she may rule the night in peace without his constant incercession and annoying boastfulness)

Soldiers were pretty much expected to have a gay relationship with one of their brothers in arms if they were single to increase the loyalty among troops.

The firenation was the only nation where arranged mairrages could be nullified instantly on the grounds that one of the individuals involved was gay, unless you were the firelord and that was only because it was the firelord's duty to produce at least one heir to continue the linage, so it was seen as the firelord's sacrifice to his or her people to take up at least one opposite sexed partner. Romantic affairs were expected and understood in such situations however so long as there was already an heir to the throne born.

Families could even be punished with jail time for knowingly forcing their gay children into heterosexual relationships.

Gay couples could adopt children too and denying one on the grounds of being gay would be grounds for removal of your position in child care and being blacklisted.

There were still homophobes but homophobia was squashed a lot

Azulon managed to "justify" the cultural shift and changes to laws by having newspapers publishing fake news about pedophilia cases being linked to homosexuality as well as other stories linking homosexuality to degenerate acts.

He also used the culture of honor and family loyalty to shame gay children for ending their parent's bloodlines and claiming gay individuals were less likely to take care of their parents in their old age. And that trans children dishonored their parents by rejecting their "birth gender"

He even had certian folk stories changed to be heterosexual

This allowed homophobia and transphobia to spred in the firenation

However many individual towns held onto their pro LGBT roots and still published and performed gay literary works and plays.

And azulon and ozai were unable to remove many nonheteronormative traditions, such as guy friends being extremely physically affectionate, more so than with their girl counterparts.

In some areas it's still customary to greet close male friends with platonic kisses on the cheek

Zuko repealed many of the old laws established by his father and grandfather almost immediately, and reestablished many old holidays and protections for LGBT individuals.

Fixing the damage is still taking time, but with a corrected history of the firenation being now taught in classes thanks to zuko and aang, things are getting back to the way they once were slowly.

#avatar the last airbender #zuko #aang #water tribe #atla #fire nation #earth kingdom #air nomads #long post #homophobia #biphobia #lgbt #transphobia #gay #bi #ace #headcanon

[rantingcrocodile]

You made a good post, but get ready! Lesbians whose parents were kinda mean want you to know that they are ABSOLUTELY NOT PRIVILEGED over lesbians from fundamentalist communities that forced them into actual arranged marriages with men. I wish you the sincerest of luck.

The lack of reading comprehension is astounding.

Obviously it isn't a "privilege" for someone, for example, to come out and be made homeless, but it is absolutely homophobic victim-blaming if it turns into anything like, "Well, I'm still gold star despite homophobia, and if any lesbian couldn't do what I did, then they can't be a real lesbian."

It is a privilege to be able to be a lesbian who comes from enough of a supportive environment that they don't question themselves or feel pressured into "trying sex with a man".

I know what I said. They know what I've said. The few that don't like it are downright ignorant and are only interested in creating a pecking order to excommunicate lesbians that they don't like, to be homophobic and abusive, and then take advantage of the biphobic mini-culture in radfem spaces to use us as an excuse for that ignorant bullying.

It reminds me of Phillip Scofield, a well-known morning TV presenter in the UK, who came out, despite being married for 28 years and having two children. He thought that he was bisexual, but he's gay. I have not personally seen a single person claim, "He's just a homophobic bisexual claiming to be gay when he isn't." No. He came out, admitted he came to realise that he was gay, and it's now easily accepted.

Lesbians do the same thing, and suddenly they're only allowed to be bisexual. It's obscene.

The irony is that I'm told it has nothing to do with me, and that I'm not allowed to speak because I'm not a lesbian, when this homophobic set of beliefs actively harms bisexual women, too. All it does is promote homophobia against traumatised, confused thanks to patriarchy and homophobia women, and then adds to more claims of, "Look at how the bisexual women are taking over lesbian spaces!"

You're talking about lesbians in fundamentalist contexts, but I'm also talking about lesbians who aren't in fundamentalist contexts who are still afraid to come out.

It's ridiculous. It reminds me of the anti-feminists that claim, "Women can vote and it's illegal to not pay women the same as men, so how are you even oppressed?"

I mean, realistically, we're in a world where, right now, young lesbians with internalised homophobia are reacting to being lesbians by transitioning to claim to be straight men, and yet there's a belief that no lesbian ever could possibly feel forced to be in relationships with men due to internalised homophobia and heavy societal/familial/communal expectations? When homophobic hate crimes are still common when lesbians are out in the street with their partners? Really?

Are the lesbians of the past who married men and had children with them "not real lesbians" either?

This is exactly why I constantly repeat that too much theory online has rotted minds and made internet keyboard warriors forget actual, real life contexts.

I should not have to repeat a thousand times that I hate bisexual women that claim to be lesbians when they aren't. I keep saying how homophobic it is. I keep saying that it shouldn't be tolerated. It definitely happens. Those bisexual women should not be protected and should be held accountable for that appropriative homophobia. Political lesbianism is wrong, full stop. I'll keep repeating it if I have to, but it has nothing to do with what I'm talking about.

For the few people that want to liberate lesbians from oppression, yet refuse to accept the very real, common sense, historically proven fact that homophobia means that life can be incredibly difficult for some lesbians to come to terms with being lesbians, particularly older lesbians, is obscene.

If they genuinely hold those beliefs, then that's devastating and I feel upset for every lesbian they harm, and feel angry for every bisexual woman they blame unfairly.

Honestly though, I believe that the majority of that minority only use that discourse to silence lesbians that they don't like and use it as an excuse to be biphobic, all to enjoy their false sense of superiority. I would say that it's embarrassing for them to be that bone-deep stupid, but I feel worse for the lesbians who will be too terrified to admit dealing with those specific kinds of traumas, knowing that if they do share those stories, they'll forever be hounded as "not real lesbians" and attacked instead of given the support they fucking need and deserve.

And yes, I am selfish enough to also be angry that once again, for simply existing, I and other women like me are somehow used as an excuse for a small number of lesbians rubbing their hands with glee that they can be exclusive and gatekeep being lesbians over something that's basic common sense.

#I'm not angry at you Anon #I'm frustrated that this very obvious thing is somehow shocking #to a group of people that supposedly care about oppression

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

I'd like to know if you still use the definition "two or more" for bisexuality. Because I actually think it's very problematic and it was not coined by bisexuals, but by people who didn't know what bi really means. I think the best one is "regardless of gender" (it's benn describe that way since the 70's)

I think you’ve really stumbled upon some misinformation there or someone who is trying to rewrite history and current-day bisexual activism and you’ve fallen for that. There’s been countless definitions of bisexuality over the years and decades. It’s started out as a term in botany, was then used to describe the kind of variations in sex development that we’d nowadays call “intersex” and then it got applied to sexual behaviour, also still in a pathologising way (thanks for nothing @ Siggi Freud).

Eventually people started reclaiming that term and use it as a self-identifing label which became very relevant for bi women once lesbian separatism was at its height and bi women were forced out of lesbian culture and history.

The most mainstream definition being used for bisexuality in more recent history is “attraction to men and women” which is an understanding that’s mostly pushed by cisnormative mainstream society that doesn’t consider other genders. It’s exactly why a lot of bisexual activists are working towards popularising the “more than one gender” or “two or more genders” definition so that there’s room for non-binary genders, too.

I absolutely do not understand why you think it’s problematic to use that definiton? The “more than one gender” thing is mostly paraphrased from Robyn Ochs who is one of, if not THE most well-known bisexual activist at the moment. If she was the first one to use that phrasing, I don’t know. But what does it matter? A lot of bisexual activists and organisations have started using that definition because we agree that it feels a lot more accurate and “open” than anything else that’s been used in the past. And it’s okay for definitions to change over time - that’s just literally how language works. You don’t have to justify a current definition with historic accuracy. It’s okay for things to change! That doesn’t make it problematic?!

Also you should keep in mind that on an individual level there isn’t one correct definition of bisexuality. If you feel like your sexual orientation is regardless of gender and you want to identify as bisexual then be my guest. But that doesn’t mean another individual cannot say “I experience attraction to more than one gender and call myself bisexual because of that”. Who are you to say that either of those definitions is wrong or less accurate? You complain about people who “don’t know what bi really means” yet seem to think that you are the one who knows best? When there’s in fact bisexuals out there who would go as far as saying that gender does play a role in how they experience attraction and that “regardless of gender” is exactly the kind of definition that does not fit them and that’s precisely why they identify as bisexual instead of pansexual.

Again, if you like to define your own bisexuality that way then that’s all cool. But don’t claim that this is the one and only right way to define it. Saying “bisexuality is attraction to more than one gender” though leaves the most possible room for individual interpretation because in that approach it’s literally just about numbers and anyone who is attracted to more than one gender (be it exactly two, or three, or ten or all genders) can find themselves in there. Whether they experience attraction regardless of gender or gender does play a role is a totally different approach because it’s not about numbers of genders but about how attraction is experienced. That’s two different perspectives to look at it and both can be true - or not. Because again: not all bisexuals experience attraction regardless of gender. And you have to respect that and a widely-used definition of bisexuality should strive towards including as many different ways to be bisexual as possible.

So “more than one gender” it is for me because I have yet to come across a better option. If you still think that’s problematic for whatever reason - I honestly don’t understand it.

Maddie

#Anonymous

[asafespotontheweb]

this post is a repost from <imgaybitheway.tumblr.com>, mainly because that blog seems to have since disappeared. this is really only for my personal keeping, as a reminder to the self. many of the typing errors have been fixed.

post begins below:

A lot of bisexual history has been erased so I figured I’d remind you all of some quotes and clear up any misunderstandings about bisexuality.

Bisexuality has been described as attraction regardless of gender for decades.

“I am bisexual because I am drawn to people regardless of gender.” - ‘The Bisexual Community: Are We Visible Yet?’, 1987

“In the midst of whatever hardships we [bisexuals] had encountered, this day we worked with each other to preserve our gift of loving people for who they are regardless of gender.” - Elissa M., “Bi Conference,” Bi Women, 1985

“To be bisexual is to have the potential to be open emotionally and sexually to people as people, regardless of their gender.” - Office Pink Publishing, “Introduction,” Bisexual Lives, 1988

“Being bisexual does not mean they have sexual relations with both sexes but that they are capable of meaningful and intimate involvement with a person regardless of gender.” - Janet Bode, “The Pressure Cooker,” View From Another Closet, 1976

“Over the past fifteen years, however, [one Caucasian man] has realized that he is ‘attracted to people -- not their sexual identity’ and no longer cares whether his partners are male or female. He has kept his Bi identity and now uses it to refer to his attraction to people regardless of their gender.” - Paula C. Rust, “Sexual Identity and Bisexual Identities,” Queer Studies: A Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Anthology, 1998

“To be bisexual is to have the potential to be open emotionally and sexually to people as people, regardless of their gender.” - Sex and Sexuality: A Thematic Dictionary of Quotations, 1993

Bisexuality doesn’t have to mean a person “sees gender”.

“[S]ome bisexuals say they are blind to the gender of their potential lovers and that they love people as people... For the first group, a dichotomy of genders between which to choose doesn’t seem to exist.” - Kathleen Bennett, “Feminist Bisexuality, a Both/And Option for an Either/Or World,” Closer to Home: Bisexuality and Feminism, 1992

“Some bisexual respondents bypass the issue of ‘degrees’ of attraction to women and men by defining bisexuals as a humanistic, gender-blind way of relating to others. They see bisexuality as a way of loving the person, not their sex, or being nondiscriminatory in their attractions to others. For example, Ludwica wrote, ‘I feel as if I’m open to respond to the person, not just the gender.’ ” - “Bisexuality and the Challenge to Lesbian Politics: Sex, Loyalty, and Revolution” by Paula C Rust, 1995

“I believe that people fall in love with individuals, not with a sex... I believe most of us will end up acknowledging that we love certain people or, perhaps, certain kinds of people, and that gender need not be a significant category, though for some of us it may be.” - Ruth Hubbard, ‘There Is No ‘Natural’ Human Sexuality, Bi Women’ , 1986

“Some women who call themselves ‘bisexual’ insist that the gender of their lover is irrelevant to them, that they do not choose lovers on the basis of gender.” - Marilyn Murphy, “Thinking About Bisexuality,” Bi Women, 1991

“Some of us are bisexual because we do not pay much attention to the gender of our attractions.” - Bisexual Politics, Quiries and Visions, 1995

Bisexuality is inclusive of all genders.

“Who is this group for exactly? Anyone who identifies as bisexual or thinks they are attracted to or interested in all genders... This newly formed [support] group is to create a supportive, safe environment for people who are questioning their sexual orientation and think they may be bisexual.” - “Coming Out as Bisexual,” Bi Women, 1994

“It’s easier, I believe, for exclusive heterosexuals to tolerate (and that’s the word) exclusive homosexuals than [bisexuals] who, rejecting exclusivity, sleep with people not genders...” - Martin Duberman, 1974

“The bisexual community should be a place where lines are erased. Bisexuality dismisses, disproves, and defies dichotomies. It connotates a loss of rigidity and absolutes. It is an inclusive term.” - ‘Essay for the Inclusion of Transsexuals’, Kory Martin-Damon, 1995

“Bisexual - being emotionally and physically attracted to all genders.” - The Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network, “Out of the Past: Teacher’s Guide” 199?

“Bisexuality is much more than, and different from, the sensationalized ‘third choice, best of both worlds’ phenomena it’s made out to be. Bisexuality is an inclusive term that defines immense possibilities avalable to us, whether we act on them or not.” - “Bi Any Other Name”, Loraine Hutchens and Lani Ku'ahumany, 1991

“Bisexual consciousness, because of its amorphous quality and inclusive nature, posed a fundamental threat to the dualistic and exclusionary thought patterns which were -- and still are -- tenaciously held by both the gay liberation leadership and its enemies.” - “The Bisexual Movement’s Beginnings in the 70s”, Bisexual politics, Naomi Tucker, 1995

Bisexuality historically and currently includes transgender and nonbinary people.

“With respect to our integrity as bisexuals, it is our responsibility to include transgender people in our language, in our communities, in our politics, and in our lives.” - Bisexual Politics: Theories, Queries, and Visions by Naomi S Tucker, 1995

“Bisexuality is here defined as the capacity, regardless of the sexual identity label one chooses, to love and sexually desire both same -- and other -- gendered individuals. The term other-gendered is used here deliberately and is preferable to the term opposite -- gendered, because other -- gendered encompasses a recognition of the existence of transgendered and transsexual individuals, who may embrace gender identities other than [male and female.]” - “Bisexuality: The Psychology and Politics of an Invisible Minority” by Beth A. Firestein and Dallas Denny, 1996

“From the earliest years of the bi community, significant numbers of TV/TS [transvestite/transsexual] and transgender people have always been involved with it. The bi community served as a kind of refuge for people who felt excluded from the established gay and lesbian communities.” - Kevin Lano, “Bisexuality and Transgenderism,” Anything That Moves, 1998

“Bisexuality means having the capacity to be attracted to people of both major genders (don’t forget: there are gender minorities, too).” “As with the word Bisexual, they usually also imply that relations with gender minorities are possible.” - ‘Bisexuality: A Reader and a Sourcebook’, 1990

“There were a lot of transvestites and transsexuals who came to [the San Francisco Bisexual Center in the 1970s], because they were not going to be turned away because of the way they dressed.” - David Lourea in “Bisexual Histories in San Francisco in the 1970s and Early 1980s,” Dworkin, 2000 Journal of Bisexuality

“The actual lived non-binary history of the bisexual community and movement and the inclusive culture and community spirit of bisexuals are eradicated when a binary interpretation of our name for ourselves is arbitrarily assumed.” - “Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out” by Lani Ka’ahumanu, ????

“In the bisexual movement as a whole, transgendered individuals are celebrated not only as an aspect of the diversity of the bisexual community, but, because like bisexuals, they do not fit neatly into dichotomous categories.” - “Bisexuality and the Challenge to Lesbian Politics” by Paula C. Rust, 1995

#don't reblog #don't like #don't share

[soft-sapphic-love]

Submission: What am I if I am attracted to women almost 100 percent of the time… But the tiny percent of liking men is still there??

I don’t know how to explain it really. I just don’t know if there is a term for someone who doesn’t identify with the term bisexual even though the person may at times like two genders or identities. Is that being bisexual? Because most people tend to assume being bisexual just means 50/50. I’ve told people I am lesbian/gay but I am always open minded to anybody incase someone does come along who isn’t a female. Any help is appreciated! 

Mod Penny’s answer: Oh dear lord I just typed out a whole response and it got deleted, what a day. Anyway. Here’s my best try at a recreation of what I originally was going to post:

You’re absolutely right, bi isn’t 50/50. If you’re attracted to 99% women and 1% men, the bi label is an option for you if you want it. That said, you also are perfectly justified in calling yourself a lesbian if you still want to do that. Historically, the lines between lesbians and the bi/pan/m-spec women was a lot blurrier: lesbian was an umbrella term for all sapphics/wlw. So if you’re thinking “I can’t be a lesbian because I might someday be attracted to a man” or “I can’t be a lesbian because even though I rarely like guys, I still do like them at times,” you don’t have to worry. You can still call yourself a lesbian. 

Another couple of more specific terms you might want to look into: homoflexible, which refers to someone who is predominantly gay/lesbian/homoromantic/homosexual but sometimes attracted to other genders, some consider this an m-spec identity while others do not; bi lesbian, which can mean different things to different people and I’d recommend you read about it at @bi-lesbian‘s blog here.

So, to summarize here’s a noncomprehensive list of terms you might fit under:

Bi (or another m-spec identity)

Lesbian

Homoflexible

Bi lesbian

Sapphic (you can just call yourself sapphic/wlw if you want without specifying, some people take that route)

I personally know a good number of lesbians who could be considered bi or homoflexible, myself included, so you’re not alone :)

Other answers

@genbabbles said: @ anon i would also look into comphet! lots of lesbians have had similar experiences in which they realize it’s just comphet 

(Mod Penny) Yes, that’s also good advice. Reading about comphet may make you realize that what you thought was attraction to men was actually just internalized heterosexism/homophobia. However, I didn’t suggest that originally because the way your question was phrased as “I have some attraction to men” made me think that you were confident in your attraction to men. But it’s worth looking into—you’ll either realize that you aren’t attracted to men or affirm that yes you are, and either way the above labels are options for you.

#bi #lesbian #bi lesbian #homoflexible #sapphic #questioning #advice #asks #submissions #mod penny #submission

[sebastianshaw]

Rando Munday ramblings! For new followers, on Munday sometimes I just post a bunch of personal stuff I normally wouldn’t. Not usually anything intimately personal, more like random thoughts and news that just isn’t relevant to the blog in any way, not related to X-Men or RP or writing in general, etc. ....there’s a lot of Hannibal today, sorry, I’m rewatching it.

- I definitely wanna have a pair of critters named Hannibal and Hasdrubal at some point, maybe if there's a third I'd name him Hamilcar. I know everyone will think I named them after Hannibal Lector but actually these are really common names from Ancient Carthage. Like if you look at Carthagian history and records, everyone is Hannibal, Hasdrubal, or Hamilcar, it's like John, James, and Jim. I'd prefer the pair, though, since Hannibal and Hasdrubal were a pair of brothers and famous historical figures, so it would feel much more like a "set" that way (whereas they did not have a brother called Hamilcar) - Speaking of Hannibal Lector, I knew he was based on a real person, but I did not realize that person was a gay Mexican man. That’s...an interesting example of gay history, for sure. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, Thomas Harris (the writer of the books that the films and later the TV series were based on) based Hannibal on a surgeon he met while interviewing an inmate at prison for another novel. This surgeon was so intelligent and charismatic that Harris implicitly assumed that he was a doctor in the employ of the prison. Nope---the doctor was an inmate himself. Harris was so shaken by the encounter that it inspired him to create Hannibal Lector, who, in contrast to the typical media portrayals of serial killers as uncontrolled lunatic slashers like Michael Myers or Leatherface, is a charming, culture, charismatic intellectual. To protect the man’s identity, Harris called him “Dr. Salazar” in interviews, so that was always how I knew him. I just now learned not only was his real name Alfredo Balli Trevino, but his victim was Jesus Castillo Rangel, his male lover. Harris describes him as a small, lithe man with dark red hair and, unsurprisingly, “a certain elegance about him”. Though Trevino was given the death penalty for his crimes, his sentence was commuted to 20 years and he was released in either 1980 or 1981. He died in in 2009 when he was 81 years old. He reportedly spent the last years of his life helping the poor and elderly, and he expressed deep regret for his “dark past”---which I suppose makes sense, since his crime was that he killed a lover in a fit of rage during an argument, whereas Hannibal simply killed people in cold blood whom he had no attachment to because he liked eating them (something Trevino never did) and to punish them for rudeness. - I’ve decided to stop buying silk, unless it's from a thrift store and thus my money won't go to supporting sericulture. Ahimsa silk isn't an option either, the bugs aren't technically killed but they're not treated well either. I know it might seem weird to eat meat and wear leather and yet not want to purchase something that hurt moths and larva, but...I have to eat meat for medical reasons, and my leather purchases is limited to boots that I then keep for YEARS AND YEARS so it's very sparing. There's really no such thing as a cruelty-free diet or lifestyle, whether that cruelty is suffered by animals or by other humans, but I can still make choices that at least lesson some small aspect of harm. I need to eat meat, I don't need real silk. ...Haven only wears bamboo silk for this reason and when this came up with Shaw, he absolutely thought she was fucking with him, like even SHE can’t be THIS insane, NO ONE ACTUALLY CARES ABOUT BUGS WTF - The books nearest to me right now are “Women Who Run With The Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype ” by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, The Norton Anthology of English Literature: The Romantic Period, “X-Men: The Legacy Quest Trilogy” by Steve Lyons, two  horror anthologies, the script for “M. Butterfly” by David Henry Hwang, “The Spanish Riding School of Vienna: Tour of America 2005″ book I got from when I went to see the Lippizanner horses perform, and a big beautiful leatherbound English translation of “The Flowers of Evil” by Charles Baudelaire. This is...this is a summary of my whole personality, sans rodents. Also god I need to clean my room. - Something I've noticed is that many sci-fi horror films that do the whole "science went too far against nature!!!" thing....don't actually have the problem result from the lack of ethics involved or because the scientists did something "unnatural", it happens because they didn't follow basic safety precautions, lab protocol, common sense, etc. "Splice" for instance, is a really good example---the problem isn't that they made a part-human hybrid, that's not why shit goes wrong, shit goes wrong because the two scientists act like idiots, adopt the creation as a child, hide it in their barn instead of a sterile controlled environment, and then one of them HAS SEX WITH IT. Or in "The Fly" the problem isn't that Brundle invented a teleporter, it's that he tested it ON HIMSELF while he was ALL ALONE. Even in "Jurassic Park" the issue is less that dinosaurs are breeding and more the result of a disgruntled worker who was given way too much power over being able to run things, and thus shut them down when he wants to. So many "science gone wrong!" movies end up not really being condemnations of science itself, so much as depicting scientists as utter dumbasses. Which, on the one hand, I do like, because I dislike the notion of condemning scientific progress just because it seems icky or creepy or "goes against nature" (so do vaccines, I still like those!) But on the other hand, the movies don't FRAME it as "this is the result of failure to practice science safely and sensibly" they frame it as "they should never have attempted such an unnatural thing and this disaster is punishment for a moral sin" even though the issue doesn't happen because what the scientists did was "wrong" it happens because they do something DUMB. - Bringing it back to Hannibal, I reached the episode where Margot Verger first appears, and if I have one big disappointment about the Hannibal series, it's Margot. In the books, she's a huge butch lesbian, literally and figuratively. In the TV series, she's a pretty femme fashionista like all the other women, and she fucks Will in order to get pregnant. At the time this came out in 2013, I tried to be all resigned and fair-minded about this. I was like "ok, well, they didn't want to be offensive with a stereotype, and I guess that's fair, I guess not hurting people matters more to me than getting the horseback-riding bulldyke hearthrob of my high school years on-screen at last" but you know what? No. Firstly, butch lesbians deserve representation too. How many have you ever seen onscreen, let alone in a mainstream media production? Sure, it's a stereotype, but it's not an inherently negative one, they just get treated that way in media because society sees it that way. But the way to handle butch lesbians and femme gay men and so on isn't to erase them from the screen, it's to start writing them as human beings and not caricatures or jokes or monsters. Margot is a fleshed-out human being, she's nuanced and twisted and hurt like everyone else in this series, she would be PERFECT for that. She wouldn't be just a butch lesbian, she'd be a CHARACTER who just also happens to be a butch lesbian. I don't really think she was changed to avoid "hurting" lesbians, I think she was changed because the director, gay man or not, clearly has a way he wants the women in his series to look (they're all fashion plates, all have long hair, all very sophisticated, etc) and book Margot didn't fit his aesthetic, his design if you will. Because god forbid we just make her a DAPPER dyke, right? Back to having sex with Will, which most certainly did NOT happen in the books...that's not bad itself in a VACUUM, fucking men to get a baby is something real-life lesbians do, I had a friend in college who was actually conceived that way, but like...no media exists in a vacuum, and there is very little depiction of lesbians in media that doesn't feature them fucking men for SOME reason or another. They want a baby, or they start the story with a boyfriend, or they're actually bisexual, or they're even raped, but there's always SOME reason we have to watch a guy fucking them and it's frankly distressing. Like, remember Irene Adler in BBC's Sherlock? It's a pattern. And I'm not saying lesbians who have had a sexual past with men, or who were the victims of sexual violence by men, don't deserve representation, I would never say that, those are very common experiences, I'm not saying "gold stars only", I'm saying that there is a strong pattern in media where it seems almost obligatory that a lesbian has to have sex with or be attracted to men at some point, while comparatively the opposite case, where a lesbian is depicted as exclusively and only attracted to and "with" other women, is seldom there. And it's just kind of a kick in the nads for me, as I think it was for a lot of other lesbians, butch or not, that a gay director took an opportunity like Margot Verger and turned her into just another attractive lipstick lesbian that is okay with having sex with the male protagonist as a treat tee hee (Spoiler: She does end up with Alana though, which I appreciate)

#out of shirt #munday #mun monday

[speckeh]

My 2019 Garbage Book Dump

It’s 2019! I’m tired, I’m hella gay, and I’m still reading books as much as I can with my busy life! Enjoy this book list with reviews! 

1. Thunderball: 5/5 stars. Mormon jokes. Making fun of dietary changes? A young Italian woman (girl) who controls the island with her beauty. It becomes a mission against nuclear threats against the Europe and the US? Not exactly the MOST thrilling James Bond book, but I had a lot of fun reading it. I’m glad this was my first read of the year!

2. The Lydia Steptoe Stories - Faber Stories: 4/5 stars. I found these short, tiny books in a local bookstore. There were 6 of them on the table and I bought three. Sometimes I wish I bought all of them, but not all of them spoke to me. The Lydia collection was interesting as it held three stories with: a young man being “seduced” by his aunt, a young girl wanting to be a dominatrix, and a woman who wishes she could be youthful again. While I didn’t find the stories awe-inspiring, I did find them extremely entertaining and nice to think about.

3. Emma Cozy Classics: 5/5 stars. I have the pride and prejudice one. While it might not be as fabulous as a full book, but the pain-staking skill of felt art is entirely impressive. It went on my Jane Austen book shelf.

4. Come Rain or Shine - Faber Stories: 3/5 stars. What would you do if your friends thought you were absolutely insane and their lives are falling apart worse than yours? What would you do if your friend asks you to play absolutely stupid to his wife to make him look better and for her to realize her life isn’t so bad that she got lucky enough to not marry you? I for one, would drop these fucking friends and never look back. The story was a fucking train wreck and absolutely insane to the point where it wasn’t even humorous to me. Several authors state it’s Ishiguro’s step into comical writing and I wish he wouldn’t.

5. Passionate Minds - Women Rewriting the World: 1/5 stars. I found this book at my Uni’s free bookshelf. I was super excited to read this book but it’s one of the dullest and full of biases book I’ve had the displeasure of picking up. I got to read about my girl Gertrude Stein but I was expecting more female writers, not actors who the writer obvious gets off on. There’s nothing wrong with that, and this book has rave reviews, I just couldn’t stand the writing style and obvious fawning she had (and not in the academic/historically reserved way authors should be).

6. Wandering Island Vol. 2: 4/5 stars. It’s been two years since the first volume came out. I found myself reading it in record time which has me both disappointed and a bit confused (not because I read it fast, but because of the strange editorial ending). The art is impeccable with a few questionable “obviously a man drew this” moment, the story has kind of been a bit muddled up and didn’t necessarily go anywhere this volume. It felt more of a build up for Volume 3 which I don’t know when will be released. The editor wrote this strange 6 page essay that started off they were going to postpone Wandering Island 3, then went on a long rant about how the manga editing world has changed with ^-^ faces all throughout, only to then write fan theories of where they think the story is going to finish with: “We’ll translate the pages as soon as they come out! ^-^” what the fuck?? Haha

7. Fun Home - A Family Tragicomic. 5/5 stars. I bought this book today and I finished it this evening. I’m still processing everything that happened but one thing I know for sure is that I found one of my top 5 books of 2019 as well as a new favorite already. Alison approaches a hard topic of coming out, learning about her father’s secret life of being bisexual, and coming to terms with the strange person with anger issues that was her father. While my father wasn’t gay, there were several elements of her father I saw in my own. The volatile anger, learning more about his life after his death, hearing shattering truths from your mom, the regret of not having conversations sooner and him not seeing who you truly are before their passing. It struck a chord with me and I’m going to be thinking about this comic book I feel like for two months.

8. The Real McCoy: 4/5 stars. This is like a small wikipedia pamphlet book about the famous names, phrases, or lyrics you might know. I wasn’t necessarily impressed with the booklet, but I found some of it entertaining. I gave it a high rating because it served its purpose but I’m totally gifting it to a friend who loves random facts.

9. The Heart Affirming: 5/5 Stars. Epic poems about the Greek Gods, the universal feeling of appreciating nature, the wondering of the cruelty of humanity. This is a rare find of a poetry book not popular and one I found at my local library book sale that was signed by the author. If you have the pleasure to pick up this 1939 poetry book, please do! It’s a treat from the past that shows we still yearn for the same poetic romanticism we did then to now.

10. Bloom: 4.5/5 stars. I’ve realized I’m going to graduate college in the fall and this weird depression hit where I realized my life is really finally going to change forever. So I’m having a mixture of senioritis where I don’t want to do any work when I’m done with school by Wednesday, and I’m having a mid-century life crisis where I don’t know what to do with my life (I mean I do, but it’s terrifying). So I went on a LGTBQ+ splurge on amazon, something i haven’t done in awhile, Bloom was one of those books. Bloom is a fast paced comic about a high school graduate who wants to move out and move on, but his friends are dicks and his parents want him to stay. Welcome the new hot boy whose grandma just died and conveniently loves to bake. Ari wants to leave the bakery and this new hot guy is just his ticket to leave, or is it? I really liked this comic for the art and the story line was refreshing. But there were several instances where the book moves really quickly and the development was… meh. HeartStopper has great, slow pacing that lets you feel like the characters and story moves in a believable way. Bloom is rushed in some parts, but still.. So cute.

11. Spinning: 5/5 Stars. 2/4 of the LGTBQ+ books I ordered have been read! I read this book the day before valentine’s day and I’ve already been in a weird mode/crisis of being a university senior. I, loved this book for all the reasons why people gave it 3 stars. Everyone stated the story didn’t wrap up, that i jumped, that it felt fragments, but if you read the very end the author state not all books should make sense or follow a timeline or be accurate and these followed her own recollection without revisiting anything. I really appreciated and I loved the style. It’s a heavy book with sexual assault, manipulation, child abuse, and a very unhappy protagonist who isn’t likeable. But at the same time, finishing this book I just felt such grief that I didn’t pursue an art career. That I didn’t just join an art program or give my art career a chance. I think when I’m in the end of my career, retirement, I may go to art school again or maybe I’ll splurge money on lessons or maybe I’ll just accept my art as is. Either way, this book made me fiercely jealous of a 21 year old. It reminded me of a famous story of my dad reading a book about astronauts and crying in the bath because he should have been an astronaut, and how this book made me want to cry because in some form I should have been an artist. But like my dad, we’ve both chased careers that really inspired and gave us amazing opportunities. But I think it’s natural to miss over those childhood passions you didn’t follow through with because you felt like you weren’t enough.

12. My Solo Exchange Diary Vol 2. 2.5/5 stars. I read the first volume last year due to prompting from one of my precious friends (Ramona). My loneliness with Lesbianism was AMAZING. I bought it. My Solo Exchange Diary felt like the author was rambling in circles, completely mentally unwell, and had no ideas of how to properly take care of herself. In Volume 2 she was able to search for some help and she was able to deal with some introspective thoughts about how her viewpoint might have been wrong and how she was toxic to herself and her family. Volume 2 still left a taste in my mouth that felt… weird? She’s moving in the right directions but I think she’s desperately trying to follow the hype of her lesbian hit manga and she’s failing due to her wants to surpass herself. I laughed and felt bad as she mentioned how people slammed her for Volume 1, so it felt very meta to read how she reacted because my comment was also criticizing her: read here. But if you’re reading it in a bookstore or a library, do it. It’s nice to see how she’s slowly making progress with herself.  

13. Sputnik Sweetheart. 1/5 stars. I picked this up in Brussels in the select few english section because the cover was intriguing and the back cover claimed it was a lesbian story. I was so excited, and imagine my absolutely hatred when I realized a straight cisgender man had written a “lesbian” story through the eyes of a straight male who is lusting after his lesbian best friend. He proclaims he gets boners at looking at her breasts and how her eccentric style only makes her that more beautiful just to him. I hate everything about this book. I wish straight cisgendered men would leave lesbian narrative stories alone unless you’re going to write them right. Get the fuck out of my books.

14. Fortunate Beasts: Letters to Lucardo Vol 2: 5/5 stars. The long waited and anticipated sequel to Letters to Lucardo!!! It’s been two years since I read the first volume, supported it on kickstarters, and I’m going to keep funding each release until the quadiology is complete! This had a lot less background building, exciting sex scenes, but you now understand the two lovers and get to see them develop their budding relationship. While it wasn’t as smut riddled as I expected, I was very happy with the continuation!

15. The little Lame Prince: 2/5 stars. DNF. Did not finish in case for those who don’t know/can’t remember (I hardly remember what DNF stands for myself). I’m torn as I want to eventually finish this book but I’m just not in the mood for it. It’s a sweet story but is very slow and from what I can tell, repeats itself a lot. It’s a old book from the early 1800s which explains the somewhat hard language and problematic moments, but it’s still charming. I’ll debate when I’ll try this again. For now, it’s returning to my shelves with a bookmark in the pages.

16. Shounen Houkokusho. 5/5 stars. A shounen-ai soft, wholesome gay family about a little boy standing up for his dad’s long time partner and asking them to get married. Very sweet. So precious. I love.

17. Same Difference and Other Stories: 4/5 stars. This was a reread from my friend Mark who gifted this to me back in december of 2014. It’s been 5 years since I picked up this book and I decided to see how its changed. As an adult, this comic speaks to me a lot louder than it did nearly half a decade ago. Struggling to find your way through life, seeing all your high school “friends” getting married, having jobs, meanwhile you’re just.. Here. Definitely a story I needed to revisit again in the future and also I still appreciate Mark’s notes he left in here for me!

18. Amazing Women: 101 Lives to Inspire you: 4/5 stars. This was my gift after finally being cut loose from the cancer clinic. I never had to go back there again and so I decided to pick up a momento. This was the book I chose that they offered. I really appreciate how they cover diverse women from all over the world rather than American-centric. They don’t go further than 1826, keping mostly within 200 years which is a bit of a bummer. There were also some choices I felt were questionable, like Zoe Sugg (who had her book ghost written and scams her viewers) and that they didn’t have Alison Bechendel was a huge disappointment. But this book is opinionated as they did have to narrow it down to 101 women, so I’m never going to be happy unless I pick my own. I also appreciated that if a diplomat was assassinated they mentioned it in the book.

19. The Epic of Gilgamesh: 5/5 stars. I learned about the Epic of Gilgamesh back when I was a itty-bitty sophomore in high school. I remember being so intrigued and would draw my gay ass characters as the Harlot and Endurk. I think I still have the drawings somewhere and they’re cringey. I bought the book and it’s been sitting on my shelf for YEARS. I did a deep clean of my bookshelves last night from 11:30 pm - 4:30 am, and this morning I just wanted to read since I haven’t been able to for months. I loved it! I love creation myths, old myths from “lost” cultures, plus the language was hella gay in this story. It’s a short 61 pages, so if you have like an hour or two and are in the mood for some myths baby, pick it up!

20. The Making of Pride and Prejudice: 4/5 stars. This book is chalked full of interviews from staff, actors, photos of the sets, and a bit too long section on the director and writers moaning about a script. I loved the photos of the behind the scenes and reading Colin Firth’s reluctancy to take, arguably, his most iconic role because he didn’t care for classical movies. Thought they were boring. Really a cool book to have if you’re a big Pride and Prejudice 1995 fan.

21. Greek Myths: 2/5 stars. I love the artwork in this book, but the author shows a lack of research when he writes the Roman names for the greek gods. I’m all fine with showing a Roman cultural story, but if you’re writing a Greek Myths story, BITCH use the Greek names!!! If it wasn’t for the artwork, this book would be traaash.

22. Wicked: 5/5 stars. I’ve been in a reading rut for almost a month where I’ve felt unmotivated to do anything. Since going back to brief counseling and getting my head on straight again, I’ve felt the motivation to read. I’m also doing the 2019 OWLS for a Wandmaker and this was one of my assignments. I absolutely loved Wicked. The musical came in last month and it reinvigorated my love for the show. I’ve been wanting to read the book, it’s been haunting me for awhile and I found a back of the Wicked series for 5 dollars at my library sale. Snatched that bitch up. I read this 408 pages in two weeks, probably would have in a week but school. God, I related so much to Elphaba. Not so much the whole, feeling like she has no soul, but taking school seriously and not making friends, coming from a religious family and rebelling, feeling like she’s responsible for her whole family, (not feeling like she’s attractive) and seeing her growth and becoming more comfortable with herself really made me feel better about myself? It’s a super dark book, but it’s great. It’s really great.

23. A Children’s Guide to the Night Sky: 4/5 stars. This was essentially the condensed and easier version of my Stars and Cosmology course I took two years ago!! I sped read this and some of the greek myths they described were dumb down/removed the queerness of it. Which is why I took off a whole star.

24. The Life-Changing Manga of Tidying Up: 5/5 stars. Hello Marie Kondo. Everyone is on a cleaning kick/obsessed with Marie Kondo. I liked this comic because it was short and also made her book in a bite size, story drive style. I liked its simplistic form!

25. Julian is a Mermaid: 5/5 stars. I’ve had my eye on this book for a year, ever since it was announced in Goodreads’ monthly list. I found the last copy and snatched it up. I like the muted colors, the art style, the different bodies, and letting little boys know it’s ok to dress up as mermaids or anything feminized. A great message!!!

26. Kiss Number 8: 5/5 stars. This is one of those random comics I saw in the new releases and the cover caught my eye. I read the first few pages and decided to buy it. I loved it as it’s a coming out story but the main story isn’t revolved around coming out. It’s about the complicated nature of family, coming out through the years, and trans themes. I know some people say this book and the characters are transphobic due to misgendering and dead names used, but the main character is catholic. Her family are mega catholic. She’s going to a catholic school. Of course there’s going to be misgendering and dead names used! It’s how people naturally react to news. If you’re super sensitive, I wouldn’t read this book, but I loved it to bits. I held it to my chest like I do rarely with those books that give you the warm feels.

27. Elephi - The Cat with the High IQ: 5/5 stars. This was a book I grabbed at a close down sale. It’s about Elephi who sees a small fiat car abandoned in the snow outside and decides to use his brains to get the car inside the fifth story apartment. The author really knows how cats act and I felt like all the mannerisms were perfect for a year old cat(kitten). Really a cute book that I read in 40 minutes??

28. One Happy Tiger: 4/5 stars. A book about a tiger counting friends. Cute. It’s a children’s book. Not too substantial in anything.

29. The Language of Thorns: 5/5 stars. Ok WOW. I bought this about a year ago during B&N’s signed deals where they just had a ton of books signed by the authors. I’ve seen this book floating around on BookTube for awhile and I decided to check it out at the bookstore. The illustrations sold me and I bought it. Imagine the already dark Grimm’s fairy tales, but darker. More context for the characters: Ursula, the Nutcracker, Hansel and Gretel but if Gretel was the only one at home. Really amazing stories and if you’re interested in dark, pretty illustrations that change with each page, pick it up!

30. Satoko and Nada vol 1: 5/5 stars. Ramona and I went to B&N yesterday, just sitting around like two useless gays reading a bunch of manga. This is one she picked out and told me to read it. You know me, as a white academic I am constantly on the lookout for narratives that aren’t white and can educate me. This was one of them! Satoko is from Japan while Nada is from Saudi Arabia, both are exchange students in the US. Their friendship, learning about each other’s cultures is so fucking cute. ;0;

31: I Hear the Sunspot vol 1: 4/5 stars. I docked this down from a 5 star rating because it just jumps into a established plot. I had no idea if this was a continuation from another series or if the author purposefully just threw us in the mix of an established gay relationship but they’re not really (they are but they’re confused) with some flashbacks that looks like it came from another volume? But despite those factors, the art is gorgeous. The characters are well developed and have complex background and stories to tell (one of the main characters has a degenerative hearing issue and will eventually become deaf).

32. Building Writing Center Assessments that Matter: 4/5 stars. This was a required text I had for a independent study I was a part of where I created a assessment of the climate of where I worked. This is a great resource in learning how to build assessments from scratch, and if you’ve never conducted one. I found the information they gave was limited to assessment of students who use the a writing center, while my assessment was more focused on how safe, valued, and heard those who currently work in the space feel. A great way to step into assessments!

33. Mary Ventura and the Ninth Kingdom: 4/5 stars. This was the first fictionalized piece of Slyvia Plath I’ve read. I can understand why it wasn’t published at first. There’s a lot of loose ends. Why was Mary going to the Ninth Kingdom? Why is everyone so placant in going to a “hell” type place? Also what the hell was the ending and her running away? This story left a lot to be answered, but I also love that about this short story.

34. Momo to Manji Vol 2: 5/5 stars. Volume two of one of my favorite historical yaoi mangas. It’s still hasn’t been fully translated just yet but I love it all the same!! So many complex characters, relationships!

35. Sweet Blue Flowers Vol 1. 5/5 stars. The first edition of a 5 volume series. Ramona told me to read this and I devoured the first book! Wholesome young girls falling in love with each other! Boyish girls who are heartthrobs! Unrequited love galore! Definitely going to check out the rest of the volumes!

36. Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up with Me: 5/5 stars. Man. This comic took me through a roller coaster of feelings. First it kind of made me miss the constant interactions I had with people in junior high and high school. It also reminded me heavily of my first gf and I wondered if she and her friends viewed me as Laura Dean (in terms of being too cool. I never cheated lmao. And always just out of reach). It made me melancholy for a younger me who was also hopeless in love with their best friend. It was a wild ride, but one I recommend wholeheartedly!

37. Lovable Lyle: 5/5 stars. I’ve been looking at this little crocodile for awhile and I’ve come to the conclusion he is me. This book was silly but heartwarming as Lyle is beloved but suddenly receives letters from his sworn enemy. They try to ignore it, but they are persistent until they catch the culprit. Fucking ridiculous story but I loved every second.

38. The Great American Pin-Up: 5/5 stars. It was really cool how they sectioned off each famous artist of pin-ups. Some of them were tasteful nudes, semi-nudes, or lingerie teasing moments. As someone who is both gay and used to draw pin-up girls, this is a great reference!!!!

39. Drawing the R.A.F.: 5/5 stars. This book is one of those rarer finds. A british artist was commissioned to draw the officers of the R.A.F. in the middle of World War II. Some portraits are far better than others, but the worser ones are attached with amazing stories. Such as a 6”6’ pilot having to be physically shoved in a spitfire. These are fantastic and the art work is really beautiful.

40. Where’s Will? 4/5 stars. Where’s Will is a William Shakespeare version of Where’s Waldo. The art is beautiful and the hidden characters are extremely clever. However, I remember so often spending hours upon hours trying to find Waldo and the extreme satisfaction of finally finding him. Where’s Will I could find him within 5 minutes. It never went long enough to the point I feel worn and frustrated and finding several more interesting characters. He stood out more than he should and I flew through this book that Waldo would find insulting! But the illustrations are beautiful!

41. Carr’s Pocket Books - Florence Nightingale: 4/5 stars. This mini collection of Nightingale’s journals throughout her life is really interesting. As a woman who revolutionized what it meant to be a nurse and nurse practices, it was nice to see her own words from age 9 to 90. She was an elegant little girl with her writing and she showed wisdom beyond her years. Did I learn anything substantial about her work? No. But I did come to know her on a far more personal level that I appreciate.

42. Carr’s Pocket Books - How Horatius Kept the Bridge: 5/5 stars. Another one of these small pocket sized books I bought in Oundle, England. I don’t know why, but I’ve just been desperate to go through my books and get rid of any and all that don’t speak to me anymore. I also just want to read, a lot. This was part of my kick this week, trying to get through as many as possible. This poem story is about Roman soldier Horatius and how he single handedly took the Bridge against the Greeks. It’s a military triumphant, silly, and mystical, but I really enjoyed the structure of it. It was short and sweet.

43. Echoland: 3.5/5 stars. Echoland follows Arvid, a 12 year old Norwegian boy who visits his grandparents in Denmark for the summer. However, he’s growing up and he’s realizing that his parents are strained for some reason, his sister is too grown for him, and his grandparents are getting older. This book was confusing. It was short, quick, and I think younger children would enjoy this book more than me. It deals with more adult themes but through the eyes of a 12 year old. However, I found a lot of the storyline to be confusing: Why does Arvid not want to be touched? Why are his parents fighting?? Why does he hate all the men in his family? Why is he pushing everyone away? Why are his parents putting up with his attitude? There are a LOT of questions I have and there’s no real answer to be found. Maybe it’s the author’s style, but I found the story to be not as believable, but still enjoyable.

44. Mathilda. 2.5/5 stars. Mathilda was an audiobook I listened to as I suddenly got a migraine at around 6 pm and it didn’t let up until around midnight. The last three hours I’ve been listening to it. I thought this was Matilda from Roald Dahl but was instead by Mary Shelley herself. This was a very bizarre story. I really enjoyed the first half of the story which is about Mathilda writing a final letter to her best friend upon her deathbed. She’s retelling him her tragic story and how the death of her father was her fault. Her childhood was very bleak, touch starved as her mother died and her father abandoned her to his half sister. Her half sister wasn’t warm to her and saw her as a pest, which had Mathilda growing up til she was 16 without a father. Suddenly her father decided to return and within 2 months of his return her aunt dies, and now she’s in his custody. At first everything is fine, until her father starts to lash out at her and is very distant. He at first wants Mathilda to replace her mother and then rejects the idea. They go for a walk and Mathilda presses her father to tell her his deep secret and why he hates her all of a sudden. He refuses until she presses on and then he tells her that he lusts for her. She freaks out, he almost dies in the woods from shame, and then he leaves the next morning. Mathilda is then angry because SHE wanted to leave her father, but because he’s abandoning her again she chases after him. She finds him dead in a hotel room and then Mathilda begins to resent life and living. The story was great up until she decides to chase her father after he leaves her. It became a jumbled mess and Mathilda herself says her mind is a little mad with her decisions. The story started off as an intrigue with beauty descriptions, intense, and then just went bat shit crazy. The story ended on beautiful reflections on nature and how death is not beautiful for those living, but it really lost me. The last hour was a drag. I would definitely suggest listening to it if you have a migraine!

45. Megume to Tsugumi: 5/5 stars. Gay comic, lmao.

46. Golden Sparkle: 5/5 stars. I don’t remember the plot but it was cute.

47. Maltese Falcon: 2/5 stars. I was forced to read this for a film and literature class. Everyone was ranting and raving how the main character should be a male role model but that’s extremely stupid. Look, I love bad male representation (looking at you James Bond), but he was just trash. I get this is a famous crime novel, but GOD. It’s bad.

48. Maiden & Princess: 5/5 stars. This was about a maiden going to a ball who everyone thought she would marry the Prince. Except she and the Prince are best friends and she really fell in love with his sister. We love pride month books!

49. Prince & Knight: 5/5 stars. A gender-swap of Maiden & Princess except this was a Prince who goes off to slay a dragon to save his kingdom only to fall in love with a knight and marry him. SO GOOD.

50. Komi Can’t Communicate, Vol. 1: 4/5 stars. My friend Ramona told me to read this volume since she read it and loved it. While I loved the art and Komi, the story line was just a tad flat for me. It’s a really fun series if you like high school semi-romance but mostly heavy on friendship~!

51. What was Stonewall? 3/5 stars. This was one of those children informative books where they retell a piece of history. I thought this was great for children who know nothing about Stonewall but are hearing it from Drag Queens or in June for Pride History Month. I thought the information about Stonewall was short and concise and also good for children, however the book did verge off point and talk about other points of history as well as random actors who are gay. This is good, but it isn’t Stone wall, you know?

52. Pride: The Story of Harvey Milk and the Rainbow Flag: 4/5 stars. I watched Milk and I cried at the end. I’ve been wanting to know more about how Milk created our Pride Flag and this was another one of those books where it’s curated for children. So I appreciate the run down version it gives us, but they had to “modify” what the stripes mean, such as purple being Sexuality. Let kids hear the unfiltered truth!

53. TBH #1: TBH, This Is So Awkward: 4/5 stars. This was in the teen new released section and it’s a book of text messages. I hated this book, but also was way too invested in it when I was reading it out loud to my date. It’s just a bunch of middle school people sending love notes, getting the Valentine’s Day dance cancelled because they won’t stop using their phone and their principal said “Social Decency.” And then it ended by one of the girls bringing the valentine’s day dance back by creating a Task Force to enforce no texting during school. It was fucking wild and I loved every page I flipped through and wrote in.

54. Adaptations from Short Story to Big Screen: 4/5 stars. I liked it well enough, it was a textbook so I didn’t really read the stories in-depth. However, there are two stories I absolutely love which are Field of Dreams and Smoke Signals.

55. Our Father Who Art in a Tree: 5/5. I loved this book. It’s very true to the experience of what it’s like to be depressed and the first few months of deep grief. While I didn’t lose my parent until my teenage years and my brothers were older, but the strained relationships grief causes is so fucking poignant.

56. Little Miss P: 5/5 stars. I know it’s strange, because it’s a man writing a book about periods, but this was an excellent book. It really showcased the love-hate relationship women have with their periods and also sometimes accurate representations of what it feels like.

57. Ginza Neon Paradise: 4/5 stars. I don’t remember reading this manga! (I’m updating my book list after some months)

58. Na Leo I Ka Makani/Voices on the Wind: 5/5 stars. A book of history and photos of native Hawaiians, royals, and other cultural aspects important to the island. Some really cool photos.

59. Satoko & Nada vol. 2: 5/5 stars. Satoko and Nada are back again, continuing on with their studies and friendship. This book still continues to teach westerners some cool Eastern values while the main characters are learning about each other as well. I think the 3rd volume will come out soonish and that might be the end!!! I love this little series!

60. Annie on My Mind: 5/5 stars. One of the first lesbian novels to show a happy ending with the characters. It’s very much a high school love story and first real love. There were some parts of the story that were absolutely aggravating, painfully embarrassing, but also really heart warming. It’s a queer foundational book in literature, and if you’re interested in the history of queer literature, this should be on your list.

61. Killing Stalking: 5/5 stars. The comic finally ended. I started reading it in 2016 and finished in 2019. God was it a ride. It was full of conflicting feelings, creepiness, and an ending that leaves the reader confused, fulfilled, and also not fulfilled at the same time. I wouldn’t suggest reading it for those who are squeamish with gore, violence, and dark sexual themes, but it’s a fantastic read into what it’s like to experience stockholm syndrome and intense violent trauma.

62. Go for it, Nakamura!: 5/5 stars. A high school student falls in love with his popular classmate, but his classmate doesn’t know he exists! A cute gay book about falling in love, making friends, and pushing yourself to achieve your goals!

63. The Great Gatsby: 4/5 stars. The next two books are books I listened to while deep cleaning my room. It took me two days to fully clean my room, and this was also a challenge for my N.E.W.T.S 2019. I remember reading this book in high school and liking, and I think I lent out my copy and never saw it again. I bought it recently and decided to give it a re-read/listen. I think reading the book would have made it more engaging to me, but I found the themes to not be as impressive as an adult. Maybe it’s because I can’t relate to the characters or their choices are so dumb that I just can’t believe it anymore, but it was still entertaining to listen to. The narrator was great!

64. Emma (Narrated by Emma Thompson): 5/5 stars. This feels a bit like cheating because this rendition was not only abridged, but also had live actors. I’m very familiar with Emma, and Emma Thompson as the narrator was a genius move. However, do I feel like I read/listened to Emma? Not really.

65. Fresh Romance, Vol. 1: 4/5 stars. Half of the stories were very confusing and not very good. However, I really loved two stories about a Regency marriage and a spin off of Beauty and the Beast. I would read this volume just for those additions.

66. Pilu of the Woods: 5/5 stars. A cute story about emotions, friendship, and the woods. It even has a recipe on the back I want to read it!! The colors and characters are adorable. The storyline might not be as solid, but it’s a great read!

67. Ou-same to Puppy Love: 5/5 stars. A foreign prince falls in love with a neat-freak government official. Queue stupid boys in love!

68. Sugar Days: 5/5 stars. Childhood best friends, one small and manly, one tall and feminine, both love each other without having the courage to tell the other!!!! Very cute!!!!!

69. The Tea Dragon Society: 5/5 stars. I remember seeing this book a year ago and how everyone was ranting and raving about it. However, I never bought it or saw it. My best friend brought it over the other day for me to read and I could finally see what the fuss was about. QUEER CHARACTERS, LITTLE DRAGONS WITH TEA LEAVES GROWING OFF OF THEM, MULTIPLE REPRESENTATION!!!! IT’S SO GOOOOOD!

70. Luminous Animal: 5/5 stars. A jazz poetry book. It’s interesting how Tony Moffeit can write the same theme over and over, with the same lines but in different poems with different perspectives. It was really cool!

71. Still Mostly True: 5/5 stars. A weird poetry book that has philosophy and deep meaning poems with also weird ass drawings. However, my poetry book had inscriptions from someone else to their friend. The inscriptions were sometimes very annoying, but also kind of heartwarming how this friend made sure her friend knew she was thinking of her and loving her.

72. Sky, Wind, and Stars. 5/5 stars. A poetry book that was a Korean activist who was murdered by the Japanese through medical experiments for his radical poetry. We watched the movie in my Korean History through film class, and I loved it to bits I wanted to read his poetry. The movie downplayed just how radical his poetry was. Even as a English speaker, I can clearly see the activism, Korean pride that was written during the Japanese occupation. It was a wonderful poetry book, and an important one to Koreans at that. If you have the chance to read it, please do.

73. Memoirs of a Geisha: 5/5 stars. Haley (one of my bffs) recommended me this book like 3 years ago. It’s her favorite and I kept saying I would read it. August was the N.E.W.T.S. challenge and this fit the category of “audiobook” as I listened to a fan read audio of it and then had to read the last 7 chapters. I completely see where my friend finds inspiration in her writing from this book! I really loved the sad story, the harsh reality of Japan, even if this book was more on the idealized version of WWII in Japan and how Geishas were. Some of the thinking of Chiyo I feel could be chalked up to white men ideal sexualization, but overall I really enjoyed this book! Plus the fan who read it was really into her characters and she made the experience really fun.

74. Be Prepared: 5/5 stars. When you’re poor, Russian, and have the All-American-Girls as your best friends, life is extremely hard. No one likes your Russian food, the smallness of your home, and listening to a language not their own. VERA NEEDS SOME FUCKING NEW FRIENDS. As someone whose best friend is Russian, has a sister-in-law who is Russian, and a nephew learning to speak Russian, some people are really insensitive and it drives me nuts. I know a lot of people are upset with this book because it’s not a “full memoir” and yet is described as a memoir. I’ll just pose the question, can you remember 1 month straight at 10 years old, from people to dialogue? No? Yeah, cut the book some slack. This has great representation in terms of Russian culture and learning through it from little Russian eyes.

75. Kiraide Isasete: 5/5 stars. It’s another gay manga.

76. I married my best friend to shut up my parents: 4/5 stars. While I appreciate this story is light-hearted, it seems a bit far fetched for my taste. Also the main character doesn’t believe she’s gay, so I find it hard that a) she would actually get married and b) would just readily fall in love with her friend when she’s literally had no sexual desire for anyone. But other than that, it’s a ridiculous love story and it’s to the point!

78. Heartstopper V.2: 5/5 stars. I already read this awhile ago but I finally got my copy! So I’m just putting it in my list!

79. Raven: 5/5 stars. Raven is the first installment of the origins of the Teen Titans characters. I really loved this novel since Raven has always been a dark character in the original show. This book explores her experience with death, coming to terms with her birth origins, and New Orleans with ancient magic. A great start to a series I’m looking forward to reading the rest of!

80. Heartless. 4/5 stars. A child is taken care of by a succubus (male) after a religious cult burns down a hospital to get rid of the succubus. This story is intense in the gore and horror, but pretty light in plot. There’s no real driving force behind the characters and what they do, no explanation, it’s all just there for the reader to assume it just happened. But the characters were dynamic and interesting with superhuman powers and abilities.

81. The Adventure Zone Vol. 2: 5/5 stars. Every time I see Madame Director I sigh in relief because she exactly looks how I envisioned her while listening to the podcast many years ago. The story line is short, I feel like some of the build up jokes are lost or the frustration Griffin has with his brothers and dad that make the podcast so hilarious are missing, but it’s a really beautiful comic and also a great way for people to start listening to TAZ and MBMBAM

82: The Wind in the Willow: 4/5 stars. An audiobook I listened to. I had the paperback but it was too much reading for my mind for a classic children book. When I found the option on Libby, I listened to it as I started my preparations for the start of my final semester as an undergraduate! It went by fast, the actors were in their characters and there were some songs performed. I really enjoyed it, even if Mr. Toad is ANNOYING AS FUCK. Would recommend for those wanting to kill 2 hours of their time.

83. Classmates: 5/5 stars. High school sweethearts? Can’t express their feelings well? Uh, sign me the FUCK uP.

84-108. W Juliet: 5/5 stars. I haven’t read W Juliet since I was in 7th grade. I remember that I loved it so much that when I was in high school I began collecting the volumes and proudly put it on my shelf. I used to have two bookshelves worth of manga, and when I grew older I sold them but only kept two series: Marmalade Boy and W Juliet (I’m gonna read Marmalade Boy next). I’ve been wanting to reread W Juliet recent and revisit Mako and Ito’s silliness, and with the long weekend I did. I was not prepared for the analysis it would give me to my own life. Like, holy shit. This manga series was so important in developing me who I was as a kid, (some of them very mild kinks that my rp friends are subjected to), the loss Ito has and her issues with gender and like 100000% me and how I don’t like masculine guys at all with their toxicity (hello Mako, you summer child boy). I honestly want to do a fucking research paper on this series with an analysis of myself because of how much I love this series and how I connect to it. You can bet your ass this manga is coming with me for the rest of my life.

109-117. Marmalade Boy: 3/5 stars. Marmalade Boy was the manga that started it all. I remember being 8, having found the manga section with my best friend, and we decided to share reading Marmalade Boy. I was so captivated by the story that I made her wait in the car at her house, refusing to let her have the book until I finished it. It was the final of the volume, and it wouldn’t be another 3 years until I read the series OUT OF ORDER. I kept rereading this series, picking it up, I remember it felt like watching a movie. As an adult? God this series is really awful. The characters are very annoying, the teacher is very creepy, the plot moves WAY too quickly, and no one knows what consent is. It’s fucking insane. 1-7 volume is trash, but the 8th volume really put to life in the characters. For one, they’re older, it's been a few years, and they can step back from the crazy lives of high school. If it wasn’t for the sheer nostalgia, I would be giving these books away. But you gotta pay respect to those books that introduced you to life changing moments.

118. Ouji to Kotori. 4/5 stars. An art student, a prince who buys him, trying to escape, foreign lands, a story that has a “romantic” but is open ended. I liked the flow of the story, the art, and the characters were actually believable.

119. Mean Girls Club. 3.5/5 stars. Mean Girls Club is a 1950s tale of girls rising against the patriarchy through sex, survivor, drugs, and murder. The art style is amazing. But the story line is flat and feels rushed. Not a favorite, but still pretty enjoyable.

120. Grumpy Monkey. 5/5 stars. Grumpy Monkey is the story of a monkey who wakes up grumpy. Despite everyone not believing he can be so grumpy on a beautiful day, him denying that he’s grumpy, and getting angry at people telling him HE’S grumpy, is such a goddamn mood. Nothing pisses me off more than people telling me my mood. You don’t know me. Fuck off. Anyways, this also felt like a mental health book for kids, letting them know it's ok to NOT feel ok. As long as someone is willing to listen and not wanting to fix your grumpiness.

121. Dia de los Muertos. 4/5 stars. A children’s informational book about the Day of the Dead. Short, simple, great education.

123. Wild Cherry. 4/5 stars. Wild Cherry is a poetry book I’ve been totting around for 2 months but have had no energy to pick it up. I’ve been very depressed that I haven’t had time to read, and despite me falling asleep right now, I forced myself to read it. It felt very repetitive after a while with her constant calling back to long lost love, death, and April, but I appreciated the 1923 themes that were NO doubt soo popular.

124. Through the Woods: 5/5 stars. A horror comic book that reminds me a lot of “Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark.” I lent it to my co-worker since he loves these types of stories!

125. Dancing with Mr. Darcy: 1/5 stars. I read the first story which was Jane Austen crossing the River Styx and facing her judgement and then I tried to read the rest and it was all so fucking boring??? I put the book down and will not be continuing.

126. The Night Diary: 5/5 stars. So this was an audiobook I listened to during the week I had awful vertigo. I couldn’t go to work or university and I laid on the couch, glasses off, just listening to this story. If it hadn’t been read to me, I don’t think I would have loved it as much. It follows Nisha who is forced to leave after WWII when India is split into New India and Pakistan. All muslims are allowed to stay, but all Hindus must leave for New India because of territorial wars. It follows the dreadful path during the desert, the violence they faced, and the child’s innocence slowly being robbed from her. It’s all told through Nisha’s diary who pens it to her mother. The voice actor did a wonderful job.

127. We Contain Multitudes: 5/5 stars. Tiny twink nerd falls in love with Giant Jock football star. And then he falls in love with the nerd and they’re hormonal and coming out and angst with love. I understand why people are upset with the novel: the plot twist seems like a total cop out that the author placed and a 15 year old dating a 18 year old can get borderline statutoary rape. However, I absolutely loved this book. It was refreshing to have a “coming out” narrative that wasn’t focused on coming out, but rather these two boys falling in love through letters, reading the cringe of HS romances, and desperately following these boys through it all. It’s definitely a favorite I read this year!

128. Lovely War: 4/5 stars. This is the third book I read while going through vertigo, and my second audiobook. It’s set during WWI, following two love narratives but told through the perspectives of the Greek God. It was really refreshing, the voice acting was excellent, and I really enjoyed listening while dizzy constantly. I would have given in a 5 star rating, but near the end, Hazel’s pixie-manic girl stereotype was getting out of hand and her hypocrisy was really fucking annoying. However, up until that point, I really enjoyed it and recommended it to several friends!

129. The Assassination of Brangwain Spurge: 4.5/5 stars. I really struggled not giving this book five stars, but I thought some of the narration and story-telling could have done a tiny bit better. This was a great audiobook to listen to while I packed and finished projects before my plane ride to my first ever work conference. I was bummed out that I couldn’t listen to this audiobook on the plane because Libby requires wifi, but I really enjoyed the fantasy comedy of this book (even though fantasy tends to be a topic I don’t dare approach because it just through you into a world with no explanation). 10/10 would recommend to strangers on the street.

130. Aaron and Ahmed: 4/5 stars. I read this books during my great “aaaAH I’M GRADUATING TIME IS UNREAL” So these will be short. A story about after 9/11 and the brutality American soldiers went to gain answers, even if there were none.

131. The Tea Dragon Festival: 5/5 stars. Dragons? Tea? LGTB+? Who could ask for more??

132. Roadqueen: Eternal Roadtrip to Love: 5/5 stars. Lesbians calling out how trashy other lesbians treat girls who generally like them. “Fuck Boy” was used a lot and I loved this.

133. Skull-face Bookseller vol. 1: 5/5 stars. A skeleton tries to sell manga and explores the crazy customers who come in, the social mistakes foreigners make with Japanese booksellers, and Honda-san doing her best to survive in her job.

134-136. Beastars Vol 1-3: 5/5 stars. I saw a bit of the anime and realized there was a manga. I bought the two volumes I could and then the third one from amazon. I really enjoyed this series and look forward to reading it more!

137. I hear the Sunspot Vol 2: 5/5 stars. It’s nice to see the couple going on, even if its GUT-WRENCHING and stupid how they refuse to communicate!!!!! But it hits hard topics of the community for the hard of hearing and functioning in a world where signing is considered not important enough to teach.

138. Pink: 5/5 stars. A sex worker who spends all her money feeding her alligator and the trouble she gets into. Weird art style and at first I opened this book and didn’t buy it. 3 months later, decided to buy it and I adored it.

139: Restless: 4/5 stars. I don’t remember much about it, but I think it was cute. Maybe boyfriends find each other again?

140. How can one sell the air?: 5/5 stars. I’ve had this “calling” to start really reading native american stories and heritage. This is a controversial book with Suquamish people as they either see their leader finally giving up or instilling courage to stay firm even as the world does their best to destroy them. I really enjoyed reading his speech.

141. Skull-face Bookseller Vol. 2: 5/5 stars. Honda-san comes back again with her friends and exploring working in the shop with more crazy customers but also with her new found fame being a manga artist.

142. Gold Rush Women: 4/5 stars. A lot of white women with these narratives, which was disappointing since most of the Gold Rush Women were indegenious or came from other areas of the world rather than just Europe or East America. Wish there were more stories on the black, mexican, indegineous, or chinese women who were forced into slavery or abused or helped create the west.

143. No one is too small to make a difference: 5/5 stars. Greta Thornberg amazes me. Here we have a 15 year old with aspergers who is doing her best to inspire scientists, politicians, and anyone in the world to take charge of our climate change issues. It also amazes me how many people are threatened by a 15 year old and she’s forced to repeat herself in her speeches because people refuse to listen to what she has to say. She’s amazing.

144. Ookami he no Yomeiri: 3.5/5 stars A bunny and a wolf get married. What more can I say?

145. Monody: 3/5 stars: Monody is a strange poetry book. The lyrical writing leaves lacking in terms of uniqueness and deep thought, but aesthetically it is beautiful. Blue font paired with geographical maps of Reno, Nevada, the poetry book comes off more of an art piece.

146. Usagi no Mori: 3/5 stars. Uhmmm. Don’t remember…

#2019 books #2019 book reviews #2019 book list #book reviews

[blackgirlsuperherorants]

I know Freddie Mercury isn’t a superhero, but he’s also maybe a superhero, and I guess I’m gonna put this movie discussion here, because... this blog is already used to my bullshit.

No, but, this is actually a serious thing. This will be lengthy, because I’m approaching this not as a rant, as per usual on this blog, but as a study? I guess? I mean, without research, because I’m in grad school and my brain will crumble if I add any extra research, but yeah. 

I have seen a lot of criticism of the Bohemian Rhapsody movie that I have been giving a lot of thought to. To be completely fair, I sort of have always had this view of Freddie Mercury as a godlike figure. And I love Rami Malek. So, I have been checking and double-checking myself for bias, which is the thing to do in this situation. 

I really enjoyed the film. I am also a screenwriter (MFA student) and I understand and cannot totally ignore the problems with the film. 

One of the things we’ve been taught to do, in my MFA program, is pay attention to things like cultural markers and identity markers in our writing. As in, if we write a bisexual character, what makes them bisexual? If we write a South Asian character, what makes them South Asian? Often, writers will write “diverse” characters just for the sake of having them in the picture, but they will inadvertently be devoid of whatever it is that makes them... part of their culture. This is not my criticism of BoRhap. In fact, this post will not be a criticism, per se. It’s... it’s an examination, and a question. And, full disclosure, I should absolutely be working on stuff for class, right now.

This will be focusing on the portrayal of queerness in BoRhap more than anything. 

When I saw the movie, being queer myself, I was very... excited to hear Freddie say, on screen, that he thinks he’s bisexual. Like, what a moment, in film. I don’t think that happens, often, and I don’t think screenwriters write shit like that. I believe it’s because bisexuality is misunderstood. People assume bisexual men are gay. People assume bisexual women are straight. People think of bisexuality as something you do while you’re in college out of curiosity, or the last stop over to gayville. People think bi people who date or marry members of their same gender are gay/lesbian. People think bi people who date or marry members of a different gender are straight. It’s just a very, very misunderstood sexual orientation, and those of us who identify this way (I mostly do, although I kinda like queer as a general term) really walk on eggshells all the time trying not to ... be constantly judged from all parties, I guess. So, to hear a character say it in a film? And it’s sincere and not a character flaw or played for laughs? I C O N I C.

But the film also undercuts that line immediately, with Freddie’s girlfriend yelling at him that he’s gay. Because a man can’t be bisexual, yenno? If he likes dick at all, he’s gay. (Of course this is wrong as hell, but whatever.)

I guess, that’s part of the reason so many people are unhappy or even angry with the portrayal. One criticism I keep seeing is how it treats queerness as a cautionary tale. How Freddie gets caught up in this “gay underworld” lifestyle and it literally kills him. How redemption is him “straightening up”. (Which actually does not happen in the movie. The movie... ends with him finally settling down with JIM, a man, JIM! How that was read as “straightening up” or I guess becoming hetero to some people is beyond me.)

And mentioning that, there’s criticism of showing Paul Prenter, who I understand re: Queen fans, to be a slimy slimeball piece of crap, as the villain, because Paul is also a gay man. 

So, this is my concern, or I guess, my issue, with these criticisms: much of this is based in the reality of the situation. I’m not suggesting that this film is historically accurate. I’ve seen discussions of timeline issues, invented moments, and Freddie actually never told his bandmates he had AIDS until the day before he died (unlike in the film). But I struggle with the argument that it presents queerness as a cautionary tale when Freddie’s battle with AIDS is actually what happened. He actually died of AIDS related illness in 1991. That’s not to say being gay killed him. A lot of people were gay in the 1980s and did not contract HIV or die of AIDS. But unfortunately, Freddie did.

So, what is the line? When we’re handling stories based on true events, based on real people... what are we supposed to write? Would it have been worse to show Freddie as a healthy man who died in his sleep of natural causes, ignoring his battle with AIDS completely? 

What about the Prenter situation? The man wasn’t a good person, and wasn’t good for Queen or Freddie. I’m not extremely well versed in Queen history, but I do know that Paul Prenter is, well, a villain in the eyes of Queen’s fans, and he did do snake shit to Freddie. Does the fact that he’s also gay mean that should be left out? Or should they have erased Paul’s queerness, so that it’s not suggested that the evil gay person ruined Freddie’s life?

Some of my opinion on that matter should be clear, but I also don’t really know the way they should’ve handled this stuff. I thought, personally, that they handled AIDS delicately, and maybe a little too delicately, but... I thought it was done fine. Freddie wasn’t even blamed for having the disease. And the invented scene where he tells the band before Live Aid (I don’t know that he had even been diagnosed, yet, in real life), was a touching, beautiful scene. Nobody scolds him, or says “you shouldn’t have fucked all those people!” They aren’t angry. They cry together, and tell him he’s a legend and they love him. Then they go get a drink. It wasn’t... at all... very “cautionary tale,” to me. Especially because directly after that moment, he goes and finds Jim Hutton, the man he’s been wanting for a long time, and finally pursues being with him for real. So, what’s the caution, here? Don’t be gay, just be gay? I don’t... get it....

Like, it’s a hard line to tow. Do you... make a huge show of an icon dying from a horrible disease that ravaged the LGBT community terribly during the 1980s? Or do you.... not mention it at all? Or ... do you do what they did and mention it lightly, and try not to make it a huge deal? I don’t know. I’m sure you don’t really know, either. You’d probably try your best, if you were writing this, but ultimately, it’s hard to know what the move is, here. 

That’s not to say that the movie doesn’t have faults. It doesn’t know which story it’s telling. It sort of moves like a “brief history of” type of thing. It’s also 2 hours and 30 minutes long, and still feels like it didn’t go in depth at all. 

I also agree that we see much of Freddie’s vices and little of the other members’ vices. I mean, we get hints of Roger’s affinity towards being with multiple women, but barely. And John and Brian were basically angels. Which... can’t have been realistic, considering they were hot rock stars in the 1970s, when everyone was fucking everyone and everyone was snorting cocaine. I do wish they would’ve showed them all behaving like rock stars, more, instead of showing Freddie throwing lavish parties and the other guys sort of shaking their head and going home to their wives. But also, we don’t see very much of Freddie’s wildness, either. The movie is very, very tame, as rock star biopics go. There’s not even a sex scene. There’s cocaine on a table, but nobody snorts it on screen. There are parties with lots of boys making out and whatnot, but Freddie isn’t even shown really participating in that shit. I honestly think it’s even this tame because the living Queen members had a say.

Like, if Brian May and Roger Taylor weren’t involved in the production, I’m sure we would’ve seen more of their vices, too. And probably more of Freddie’s vices. I think it’s silly for people to suggest they are jealous of Freddie and made it look like Freddie was the only one partying to make themselves look better, because I think Freddie looks damn near innocent in the film, and I think that’s thanks to Brian and Roger protecting his legacy. For instance, we learn towards the end that Freddie has AIDS. But WE NEVER SEE HIM CONTRACT HIV. We don’t see him sleep with some dirty bear in the back of some gay bar in NYC or something. We just... learn he has AIDS. 

That can either be cause for criticism or praise, I guess. From a writing perspective, generally you wouldn’t randomly reveal a character has AIDS without some hint as to how they contracted it, in a narrative like this one that spans like 15-20 years. And also, maybe you could stretch it as an example of that “cautionary tale” business, like “even though Freddie was a good boy, he still got AIDS because of all the gay.” Which... is a reach, and I’m sorry I pulled it out of the sky. They also did one of my least favorite movie tropes, which is “character coughs up blood, so you know he gon die.” Although, IDK if that’s something that every happened to him. Singers can cough up blood just from damaging their throat while doing certain things with their voice, and getting infections and things...

Anyway...

I just... I get the criticism, and I get the instinct to be hypercritical of this movie. After all, Freddie was one of the most unapologetic and influential queer artists in the world. In history. You want to make sure it’s done right and with respect.

But, I genuinely don’t know how they could’ve approached this differently. I mean, I see how changes could be made to make it a better film, narratively speaking. But I’m not sure how I’d write a movie about Freddie Mercury and discuss his battle with AIDS... without the reality that Freddie succumbs to the illness in 1991. Or, how you write about the doomed dealings with Paul Prenter, without acknowledging that he’s a creep, even if he is gay.

See, when shit is based on a true story, it’s harder to navigate these things. Because, I totally understand the reaction to what many perceive is a slight against their people. But, IDK, if I’m writing a Freddie Mercury film, I’d know that he’s going to die, and from what, and I’d know that he kept it to himself, and explore why that is. 

And as for Paul Prenter, fuck that guy. One can be evil and gay. Just as one can be a sweet baby angel and gay (like Jim Hutton.)

The movie has problem. (Another topic for another day). These aren’t problems it has, to me. 

I’d be open to hear others’ opinions, here, but only if you promise not to yell at me (CAPS IS YELLING) or call me names or be a general jerk about things. 

#bohemian rhapsody #rami malek #freddie mercury #queen #gwilym lee #brian may #ben foster #roger taylor #joe mazzello #john deacon #text #long post