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twokinkybeans · 3 years

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Touch Me, Please [Starker Fic] Pt.3

Summary: Tony Stark has never told anyone that he’s still a virgin. He doesn’t want to sleep with people who only want him because of his outward persona. So instead, he hires an escort. Things get a little more heated than either of them had expected. Tags/Warnings: Escort!Peter, Virgin!Tony, nff, nsfw, sexual tension, teasing, Peter is 22, Tony is 53, oral sex, 69. Taglist: @starkerswonderland @staticwhispersinthedark @starkerprince @parkers-stark @bluestarker (let me know if you want to be added!)

Notes: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S BEEN 2 MONTHS SINCE I POSTED FOR THIS I'M SO SORRY ABOUT THE WAIT Y'ALL!!! I come bearing good news though! This was supposed to have three parts, but the plot started living its own life and now we're definitely having a fourth part as well ehehehe. Hope y'all enjoy! -Kim

Read the fic here on AO3

Or click here to find the previous chapters: Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Peter knows he’s fucked. Absolutely, terribly, fucked.

And to be honest… Even that’s an understatement.

Peter clutches his coat tighter and fastens his pace. He’s snuck out of the enormous labyrinth that’s Tony’s home, and is now on his way to the bureau’s HQ. It’s still early in the morning, a little over 7 am, and Peter hopes to catch one of his managers before they start their meeting.

Peter made a grave mistake, and all he can do is spill it all out and pray that he can keep his job. He’s had unsafe sex with a customer. If there’s one thing that he should pay close attention to, it’s that. He never made a mistake like this before. However, with Tony, he completely threw his cool and composed sugar baby persona out the door; his mind lost to the wealthy man he only met last night. Tony may claim to be a virgin, which according to his eager yet sloppy techniques isn’t too hard to believe, but still. Peter shouldn’t have risked it.

He eyes the building in front of him and hesitates. He could just get a test done without his bosses knowing; play sick until he gets the results. But if they were to find out… He’d lose his job for sure. And contrary to popular belief, he’s not in the industry just for the money. He likes his career.

In good faith, Peter steps forward and presses the doorbell.

Tony wakes up when a golden glow casts over his body. He smiles groggily. In his haze last night, he must’ve forgotten to close the curtains. He sighs and turns around, grabbing the sheets to tug them up a little higher. Slowly, the surroundings are getting to him. The distant sound of traffic rushing through the busy streets of NYC. The buzz of the elevator as it sweeps past his floor...

...and the complete lack of another human’s breath.

Tony swallows and his eyes flutter open. A harsh sting rips through his chest when he sees his bed is indeed empty. “Peter?” He calls out, half-heartedly expecting an answer but not at all surprised when it stays dead silent.

It’s safe to say that the following days, Tony is in such a sour mood that his employees nearly cringe each time he walks across the room. He should’ve never hired an escort to have his first-ever sexual encounter with. The plan was destined to fail from the get-go, and it had.

“Tony?”

Tony turns around to find Pepper standing in the doorway of his private office. Pepper has been his personal assistant for years now, and he is aware that he wouldn’t survive a single day without her skills in his company. She’s seen his worst more often than not - and she doesn’t deserve to be the one to take his anger - but Tony can’t help but glare. “What?” “Jeez, they were right. You’re a fucking asshole today.” Pepper says calmly and raises her eyebrows as she closes the door behind her. Tony can feel some of the tension fade from his posture and he casts his eyes down.

“What happened?” She proceeds to ask. Tony shrugs. How could he tell her? “I did something stupid.” “I figured as much.” The PA places a stack of files onto his desk and sits down in the chair opposite of him. “Personal troubles, or Stark Industries-related?” “Personal.” “Ah, good. That’s one less of a worry.”

Tony glares again, but this time it’s more playful. Pepper smirks. “Gotcha,” she hums, seemingly pleased with herself. “Now, tell me what happened.” “I can’t.” “I’m sure you can, it’s-” “It’s too embarrassing, Pep. Please, I gotta deal with this by myself.” Pepper raises her eyebrow at his words and leans onto the wooden surface. “Then deal with it before you drag Stark Industries into whatever it is.” She shoves the stack of paper forward and smiles faintly. “After you deal with these, of course.”

“Of course.”

It’s late in the evening, and Tony swirls the whiskey around in his glass. He finished the work right before dinnertime and decided to take the rest of the night off.

Deal with it.

Tony snorts. How could he? Peter left. It’s plain and simple that the kid didn’t want to stay. His pretty, sweet words had been nothing but lies and deception, and Tony feels like a goddamn fool for falling for the act. Peter is an escort. Pleasing people, telling them what they want to hear, it’s his job. Tony can’t blame him. He only blames himself.

Yet, it doesn’t keep him from grabbing his phone and navigating towards the escort website. He sniffs once, finding his way to the catalog. It should be easy to find Peter. Right? Tony scrolls down the list and frowns when he hits the bottom of the page. Mmh. He scrolls back up and sits a little more upright when he can’t seem to find Peter’s picture. He taps the search bar and types in his name.

No results found.

In a wave of panic, Tony types out the bureau’s number to contact them and waits anxiously. He has no intention of bothering Peter ever again, but now that it seems he vanished, it makes him feel strangely panicked. As if every link he had to the boy is simply gone. As if nothing ever happened.

Except something did happen.

“Good evening, this is Eva. How may I help you?” “Uhmm- Hi. It’s Mr. Stark. I’m, eh, I’m looking to book Peter again? He was here last night?” “Oh, I’m terribly sorry to inform you, sir, but I’m afraid Peter is temporarily unavailable. I could put you on the waiting list for when he returns?” “Please.”

And like a stupid idiot, he disconnects straight after. He sniffs and lowers his phone. He wonders if he just made another mistake.

Peter sucks at his teeth, his foot restlessly tapping onto the floor. He looks at his scheduled bookings and stares at the one empty spot. There’s only one client left to call, but Peter doesn’t know if he should. After a long tirade, and thankfully, a negative STD test, he’s back in the game and good to go. But, if he couldn’t keep himself together last time… He’s not sure if it’d be professional to go back to Tony.

Sweet, innocent, handsome Tony.

“Hey,” Harley pokes his head past Peter’s shoulder and grins. “I see you’re free tonight. My pal Dave is throwing a party at the Frizzles. Wanna come?” Peter rolls his eyes at his coworker and grins. “And get Dave to hopelessly flirt with me again? No, thank you.” “Oh, come on!” Harley throws his hands into the air in desperation. “Dave is your type!” “He’s not,” Peter grumbles, nearly shuddering at the idea. “Good fella, but no, not for me. Y’know I’m into rich old classy dudes. Heck, so are you!” “Hey, no need to attack me.” Harley lowers his bum on the edge of Peter’s desk and cocks his head. “You barely ever have a night off. Don’t you wanna have some fun? I’ll try and keep Dave off your back.” “Well…” Peter sighs and stares back at the empty spot in his schedule.

“I actually have a client.” “What do you mean?” “It’s the last free spot, and I have one more client to secure a booking with me. I just…” Harley frowns, his face displaying a sudden seriousness. “Peter, did this client hurt you?” “What? No!” “Then why are you looking all gloomy at the mere thought of that one client? Is he- Did he force you to not use protection? Peter, we can have him blacklisted, and-” “It’s not at all like that, please Harls, I promise.” “Then tell me why the fuck you’re so strange about it. You’re never strange around clients. Fuck ‘em, get them hooked for more and tadaa, that’s a healthy clientele, it’s how you taught me.”

Peter groans out loud in frustration and shoves his chair back a little, trying to distance himself from the scribbled down phone number at his desk. “I like him!” “What?” “I… I like him. Dammit. He’s really fucking different than the rest of them. I’ve only slept with him once, but he’s got me hooked, not the other way around.” “Then why’d he call us again? Eva told me he sounded pretty nervous.”

Peter’s face loses all color when Harley’s words crash down on him, crumbling the reality he’d build around himself. “No, no Harley, don’t enable me on this one. It’s bad luck. I shouldn’t do it.” Peter scrunches his nose. “Tell Dave I’ll be at the party.”

Harley simply grins, his eyes glimmering mischievously as if there’s something only he knows and Peter doesn’t. “Sure thing.”

It’s been two weeks since the damned party. Peter doesn’t feel any better about himself. As expected, Dave had followed him around all evening. Harley, traitor he is, was nowhere to be found. In the end, Peter couldn’t take it anymore, and he straight up told Dave he wasn’t interested. Thank god the lad took it pretty well, but it doesn’t make Peter feel any less shitty about it.

Peter really should just focus on his job and put his mind away from both Dave and Tony. It’s for the best. He sighs and stares at the next appointment on his list. The name is hidden, a feature they have for clients who are high in on their privacy. Peter sighs and grabs his car keys to go to the appointment.

Tony’s tapping his foot anxiously while he tries not to stare at the elevator. It’s needless to say he’s not doing a very good job at doing so. Peter’s going to be here again. Oh, God. Tony can’t shake the feeling that maybe he shouldn’t have accepted the booking when Peter’s coworker called him.

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cutesuki--bakugou · 5 years

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Times Two

Your husband is cloned by a quirk and you just so happen to love that. So what do you do? The only thing that makes sense, of course.

Rating: Explicit Warnings: Sex (anal and vaginal), DP, foreplay, blowjob, throat fucking, vulgar phrases and words Words: 4681 Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki (x2) x Fem! Reader

a/n: I’m sorry if it’s a bit confusing to tell the difference between clone and real Bakugou. I have it set up like Bakugou = Real. Katsuki = Clone. The reader specifies it as well to try and clear some stuff up. But yeah, this is the naughtiest thing I’ve written in a while and I took some risks, hopefully it works out and y’all enjoy it! Don’t forget to read past the “Read More”!

BTW, please blacklist the tag cutesuki-lemons if you do not want to see this content from my blog. I will no longer be tagging with specific keywords for this type of content.Thank you~

Due to the nature of this post, the characters are 18+

Edit: I forgot to add the anon that requested and inspired this lovely idea, I’m sorry! Thank you so much for sending this in! (⋟﹏⋞)

Being married to the explosive Bakugou Katsuki, there is very little that surprises you. That man, as hot headed and rough around the edges as he could be, was always surprising you in one way or another in the forms of sentimental gestures and words that no other person alive was ever meant to hear. Along with being married to him, you were more involved in the life of pro heros than you ever really expected to be, as in his late twenties, he was very quickly becoming a prominent name and popular icon. A new quirk or odd behavior was always expressed to you by him when he arrived home, as he always had something new to rant about. But this… this was not something that you were familiar with. The fact that you were staring at two sets of glaring crimson eyes made you almost feel faint, tempted to shut the door and reopen it just to make sure you weren't hallucinating.

“Katsuki…” You stared up at the one you assumed to be the original, as he was dressed in the clothes he had left in that morning, while the other was in some outfit you had never seen before. “Why… What- I mean… There are two of you.” You gestured from one to the other and back again with an accusatory pointed finger, gaining an annoyed and almost simultaneous click of the tongue from both blondes before you.

“No shit.” The original barked in an annoyed huff, placing a rough hand on your arm to urge you out of the way so they could enter. You followed direction, watching them shuffle in through the door before shutting and locking it into place.

“How are there two of you? Why are there two of you? Which is the real one?”

“I am!” With a point to his own face, Bakugou glowered down at you, the familiar snarl and wedding ring on his finger calming your initial fears. The other Bakugou, who stood awkwardly off to the side, wasn’t wearing a ring and he also gave off a different… energy to the original. It was obvious that he was confused and out of place, though he glanced around at both the environment and at you with a sense of familiarity. Before you could really even say anything else, your husband snatched you by the arm and dragged you off to a different room, making you stumble over your feet for a second before catching your footing.

“No need to drag me around Katsuki—”

Bakugou brought a finger to his lips, hushing you with an urgency that spiked a bit of annoyance in you. All you knew at this point was that he had better start explaining himself quickly before you got frustrated, and the look on your face must have told him that as he began to spill his guts to you.

“Sorry. Look, while I was out at a call, a villain touched me and used their quirk on me to try and catch me off guard. It didn’t work, but it did make him. He is literally me, down to memories and feelings. We have to get rid of him!”

A frown crossed your lips as you glanced out of the doorway, seeing the clone wander about while looking at pictures along the wall. “He’s… not having like a crisis or something? I’m surprised he’s not upset.”

Bakugou shook his head, letting his hands fall down your arms to tenderly hold your hands. “After the villain was caught, she explained her quirk… They may be exactly like me, but they won’t ever realize they’re going to fuck off when they fall asleep. Fuck off as in… turn into a doll. And even though he has all my memories and shit he’s… very compliant.”

“Hm… When he falls asleep he’s gonna turn into a doll? Why don’t we just let him hang around until night time, and he’ll go to sleep. I don’t want you to attack him and knock him out or anything… That’s so mean.” You squeezed his fingers as you tried to have him understand your point of view. “If he’s literally you, then he probably feels really comfortable here. What a shame for his final moments of existence to be fear or pain.”

Bakugou glowered down at you, obviously annoyed with your empathy. “So what, you want to invite him to have dinner and watch TV with us and share our bed?”

“It’s technically his bed, too. He’s you.” You gave a very nonchalant shrug, ignoring the frustrated furrow of your lovers brow. “I don’t want you to hurt him. We should make his only day alive something enjoyable. Let’s go talk to him.”

“Babe—” Bakugou sighed as you walked away from him, towards the clone that instantly peered down at you curiously. He seemed genuinely happy at the smile on your face, and though you could tell he wanted to, he was reluctant to touch you. Fiddling with your nails as you came to stand in front of him, you gave a small cough to clear your throat, glancing back at the real Bakugou as he glared at you from his spot learning against the doorframe.

“So, uhm…” You began, turning your attention to the Bakugou in front of you. “Things can get a little confusing I think, so… How about I call you Katsuki, and him Bakugou.” As you addressed them, you gestured to them, feeling your cheeks flush a bit at how ridiculous you sounded. “I’m used to calling him Katsuki, but it’ll be okay for now. I’ll try not to get you mixed up. Deal?” You glanced back again at Bakugou who merely shrugged in an ‘I don’t give a fuck’ manner, while Katsuki in front of you gave a calm nod.

“Sure, [Name]. I, oh fuck, sorry—” Having unconsiciously placed his hand on your arm, Katsuki quickly pulled it away as you gave a small flinch in surprise. With this, you saw a flash of confusion and defeat across his face, as if he hadn’t been expecting you to do that. Well, of course he hadn’t. To him, you were his lover, his wife and you loved each other fiercely. Physical touch was important between you and Bakugou, and so you knew that it was just as important to Katsuki. Still, you felt conflicted yourself. You could feel the tension from behind you, fuming off of your husband like it was a tangible object. A clone of himself or not, you knew that he wasn’t going to just let another man touch you.

Deciding to change the subject, you motioned towards the bedroom with a small nod of your head, prompting Katsuki to follow you. “Come on. How about you both get comfortable and we can, uhm… Make dinner, I guess.”

Bakugou pushed himself up off the doorframe, entering the room before either of you. “I get my tank and shorts, got it?!”

Katsuki scoffed, reaching behind him to pull his shirt up and over his head. “Whatever, I don’t give a fuck, I’m not going to fight with myself over clothes.”

“Hey, hey, chill. Please.” You placed a hand on Bakugou’s arm to calm him, though by the click of his tongue you got in response, it didn’t work. “You have plenty of clothes to share. Just pick an outfit.” At this point, you already felt like you were babysitting, taking a step back as the two grown men bickered over what comfortable clothes the other wanted. Though, their huffing and puffing wasn’t really what was on your mind. Looking at them, both shirtless now, you felt a heat spread through your cheeks and down to your toes. You had two versions of your husband in your house, both of them who knew who you were and loved you equally. One was definitely in a better mood than the other, but that only made it better.

You couldn’t stop the thoughts and visions flashing through your mind of both men pleasuring you from all sides, one fucking you from behind while the other made you gag on his cock. They were identical, down to the scars and minute imperfections on their skin. You couldn’t resist the sinful thoughts, especially as they continued stripping and changing. The instant Katsuki’s gaze landed on you, catching you staring, you took in a breath and shuffled away, mumbling something about having to go to the restroom. Shutting the door a bit too loudly, you leaned against it, placing a hand on your chest as you tried to calm your heavy breathing and racing heart.

You almost lost it there, [Name]. You gotta calm down, there’s no way the original is gonna fall for a threesome. But this is a once in a lifetime thing! To be fucked by double Katsuki’s… What a dream—

There was a sudden rough knock on the door, startling you so badly that you almost screamed out loud. Heart now racing even worse, you took a few deep breaths, opening the door to peek out. You could instantly see that it was Bakugou, his wedding ring gleaming against the light as his hand came to rest on the door.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, babe?”

Opening up the door just a bit more, you allowed him to stand halfway inside so you could whisper to each other. You kept yourself close to him, tenderly caressing his upper arm as you let out a trembling breath. “I’m fine, I’m fine. It’s just… This is a lot to take in all the sudden in a… different way.”

“Different way?” With a cocked eyebrow, he glanced over your body, noticing the timid stance and erect nipples behind the thin cloth of your t-shirt. Your flushed face and pounding heartbeat were dead giveaways as well, though instead of his usual smirk at realizing your current state, he narrowed his eyes at you. “Are you horny?!”

“Shh!” You reached up and covered his mouth, standing on your tiptoes to look out and make sure you weren’t being listened to. “Don’t say it so loud.”

“So you are.” Bakugou continued when you removed your hand, giving a small shrug. “Well let me in there, we’ll fuck real quick and get to— ah, wait!” Now, he shoved himself the rest of the way inside, shutting the door behind him. In the same moment, he pressed you up against it, forcing a gasp from your lips as his leg wedged firmly into place between yours. He liked to do this, pin you up against whatever solid surface he could and tease the hell out of you, until you were writhing and begging for him to fuck you. Though, this was a bit different, as his glare showed little signs of the typical lust you were familiar with seeing.

“You little slut. You want to fuck both of us, don’t you?” With your hard swallow and guilty gaze, a smirk finally crossed his lips, gripping your chin to force you to look up at him. “I should've known you were going to be like that. You’re so obsessed with the way I fuck you, there’s no way you wouldn’t want it from two of me. What were you thinking, hm? A cock in your ass and your cunt?” His hand began to travel down your body, teasing you with just a hit of that rough touch you craved. “Like hell I’m going to share you with anyone, not even a version of myself.”

“Why not, Katsuki?” Your eyes darted from his face down his his hips, able to see his erect member pressing against the fabric of his sweatpants. “It would be fun. And so sexy… imagine me, kneeling on the floor, face covered in your cum. Letting you take turns fucking my throat.” Clutching onto his shirt tightly with one hand, you let the other slip between your bodies, slowly and firmly palming his member through the fabric of his bottoms. “You’re already rock hard thinking about it.”

“You think you could handle it?” Bakugou pressed his leg further up between yours to press against your sex, prompting you to eagerly grind your hips. “I leave you ruined just on my own. I don’t think you’d be able to take it. You’d be begging for mercy.”

“You underestimate me, love. The only thing I’d be begging for is more.” You tugged him in closer, catching his lips in a heated kiss. In that same second, you were in his arms, pressed up against the door. Keeping yourself latched to him with your arms around his neck and legs around his waist, you sighed softly at the feeling of his member pressing into your sex, wishing despirately to feel him inside you. While one arm kept you firmly in position, the other hand was free to roam, his rough and calloused palm sliding up your bare thigh. His touch was like fire, telling you just how seriously turned on he was, too. Just maybe you could get him to agree… after letting him have a little fun on his own first.

“Please,” you moaned breathlessly into the kiss, reaching down between your bodies to slip his manhood free from his clothes. “I need to feel you inside me. Right now.” As you moved your poor excuse for pajama shorts and underwear side, Bakugou complied, shifting your body just enough to slip himself inside you. You felt every inch of your body tingle in excitement and pleasure, your heart racing at the sound of his groan against your cheek. He may have teased you about being obsessed with the way he made love to you, but you knew that he was just as addicted. Even though he put on a tough show, you could easily make him do whatever you begged for, like he was wrapped around your little finger. A simple touch or glance could have him immediately wanting you, and now that you had him this far, you knew that you could weasel your way into adding another cock to the party.

You didn’t have much time to contemplate exactly how you would pull that off, distracted as he began to thrust his hips, fucking you at a rough and hard pace that made the wooden door at your back sqeak and rattle with each movement. Every inch of him vanished within your depths with each stroke, fogging your mind to everything but the irresistible pleasure. You were so engrossed, in fact, that you didn’t hear footsteps approaching the door from the other side, only able to focus on Bakugou’s lips and teeth against your skin.

Suddenly, you felt an emptiness at your back and a wash of cold air swallow you both as the door to the restroom was swung open rapidly. With a squeal from your lips and a sharp inhale from Bakugou, you began to tumble backwards at the loss of support. Though, just as soon as it had gone, it was back again, though the presence that you found your back against was more familiar and warm than the cold wooden door. You were now pressed against Katsuki’s chest, his hands gripping onto your upper arms tightly to support the weight of both of you.

“Hey, what the fuck?!” Bakugou barked at his mirror image, glaring at Katsuki over the top of your head. “Get that smirk off your face asshole, who the fuck invited you?!”

“[Name] did. You think I didn’t hear you two talking in there or could tell what she was thinking?” Katsuki’s hands slid under your arms, gripping and squeezing your breasts roughly. You couldn’t resist a soft gasp, the mutual feeling of Bakugou inside you and now Katsuki’s hands on you making your head swim. “I saw her staring at us. Just like you, I know exactly what she wanted. And you weren’t exactly subtle, fucking against the door like that. It’s like you wanted me to notice.”

Trembling, you clutched onto Bakugou’s shoulders tightly, lightly rocking your hips to move him within you. “You two stop fighting and just fuck me already!”

Bakugou complied without a moment's hesitation, using Katsuki’s leverage to keep you stable. Your voice squeaked out in pleasure as you laid your head back, catching Katsuki’s gaze. The lust in his crimson glare was so clear, feeling a heat rush to your face as he smirked against your cheek, one hand coming up to wrap around your throat. “That’s it, babe,” He hissed in your ear, making your heart flutter violently. His other hand left your breast and vanished elsewhere for a moment, and you could only hope that he was preparing himself for what you wanted most. “You’re such a naughty little bitch. Tell me what you want.”

As Katsuki’s lips came to hover near yours, you could feel it, the hard presence of his cock against your ass as it bounced with Bakugou’s thrusts. The fire inside you began to swell, unable to tear your eyes away from your lovers clone and his hypnotizing crimson glare. “I-I want you both! I want your cock in my ass— ah!” Your voice squeaked as Bakugou increased his speed and roughness, pulling your attention to him.

“Beg harder, babygirl. Beg like the cock hungry slut you are!”

You knew exactly how he wanted you to talk, how filthy he wanted you to be, and it wasn’t something you were going to resist. “P-please, fuck me in my cunt and my ass! Fill me up and use me!”

Again, your pathetic excuse for clothing was moved aside, with Bakugou pausing just long enough to let Katsuki sink his length into your ass. You and Bakugou were no strangers to anal sex, so it wasn’t as if that was what shocked you. No, it was the feeling being completely full, not a single inch of you untouched. There was new pleasures you had never felt before, the heat inside you almost unbearable, and yet, you loved it. Pressed between these two men, who were alike in every sense of the word, cocooned you in warmth, bringing an odd sense of sleepiness to your mind. That is, until they began to move, very quickly finding a rhythm. They didn’t alternate like you expected. Instead, they matched each others pace, making you melt into puddy in their hands.

Trapped in their arms, you couldn’t move, only able to anchor yourself to something with your hands, which clutched onto Bakugou’s shirt and shoulders. Just from the look on his face, you could tell that it felt different for him as well, though in what way you couldn’t really imagine. All you cared about was the fact that he was enjoying it, and so was Katsuki from the groans and soft curses you heard near your ear. Within no time, you could feel it, the pleasure building into a ball in your core, until it exploded in a rush of moans, trembling and uncontrollable jerks of your body.

“Oh fuck, babygirl, that’s it,” Katsuki purred in your ear, both men having to stop from the pressure of your contracting walls. “You’re such a good girl.” Through your panting and soft gasps, Katsuki turned your head with a push of his thumb, catching your lips in a passionate kiss. His tongue invaded your mouth instantly, forcing you into that submission that you loved and leaving you breathless.

“She’s gotten off too easy,” Bakugou huffed, removing himself from inside you and leaving you aching for his return. “Put her ass on the bed.”

Complying, Katsuki released your lips and removed himself from you as well, taking on the full weight of your body to walk you over to the bed. Dropping you onto the mattress, you bounced with the impact, gazing up at both men expectantly. Smirk on his lips, Bakugou removed his shirt, coming to stand at the side of the bed. Without questioning or waiting for instruction, you scooted your body closer, instantly taking his hard and throbbing cock into your mouth as you rolled over onto your stomach. Propping yourself up on your arms, you lovingly tended to his member, running your tongue along the underside and stroking him with that firm grip you knew he loved. With a pleasured sigh, Bakugou ran his fingers through your hair, stopping at the base of your head to apply pressure to keep you from going anywhere.

Taking a curious glance up at his face, you could instantly tell why, his gaze following Katsuki as he climbed onto the bed behind you. Eager hands gripped your ass, squeezing and spreading you open, even though you still had your shorts and underwear on. “What a filthy little slut you are, drenched through your clothes like that.” A hard smack to your ass followed his words, making you squeak and unconsciously take Bakugou’s cock deeper into your mouth. After another rough slap, your clothes were pulled down, leaving you exposed to him. The chill of the room was short lived as he slipped his cock between your legs, urging you to squeeze them together before he began thrusting his hips. The way his cock stroked against your clit sent tingles across your skin, your moans muffled by the dick in your mouth. The more pleasure you received, the more you gave, turning Bakugou into his own panting and grunting mess.

Eventually, with a tight grip of your hair, you knew what was about to happen. Removing your hands from him, you kept your mouth and head loose for him, allowing him to thrust his hips. He was going slow at first, like he usually did, soaking in the feeling of his tip pressing into the back of your throat. You could barely register the sounds coming from behind you, merely following direction as you were told to squeeze your thighs together tighter.

Bakugou scoffed, glaring at his clone with a smug smirk on his lips. “What’s wrong, you fucker? About to cum already?”

You gave a muffled squeal as Katsuki increase the roughness of his thrusts, feeling yourself about to peak again just from the stroking of your clit. “Whether you’re in or not, she’s going to be covered in cum by the time I’m done with her. I’ll cum as many times as I fucking feel like.” With a shuddering of your body as you came, you were given some reprieve from the cock in your mouth to breathe, fighting between coughing and moaning as you stroked Bakugou’s length in the meantime. As you were still cumming, you felt a hot release all over your legs, listening as Katsuki grunted with his own release. It coated your thighs and cunt, surprising you a bit with how much there seemed to be. With a heavy sigh, Katsuki took a moment to recover, spreading his cum across your pussy with his thumb. “What a pretty sight.”

Before you could even think of a response, Bakugou forced his cock back into your mouth, fucking your throat at his own pace and roughness. You couldn’t even react to the sudden feeling of Katsuki’s cock sinking into your pussy, fucking you from behind at an equally rough pace. It was exactly as you had imagined, a mixture of pleasure and pain that had your eyes rolling back, once again completely at their mercy. Every inch of your body felt more sensitive than it ever had before, even your nipples as they scraped against the fabric of your shirt enough to add to the pleasure.

“You want my cum all over your face, babygirl? Or do you want to swallow it?” Bakugou didn’t give you any chance to even answer, coming to his own conclusion just from the pleading furrow of your brow and tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. You wanted to feel it on your skin, to have him dirty you up as his counterpart had. You wanted to feel the heat of his essence on you, to watch his face as he jacked off on your face. So, that is what you received, with Bakugou removing himself from your mouth at the last moments. He gave you just enough time to open your mouth wide, catching what little bit of his cum on your tongue that you could while your body rocked with Katsuki’s thrusts.

Leaning his head back as he came, Bakugou’s smirk spread, watching your body for a moment before he gripped your chin, giving Katsuki a quick glance that told him to stop. The clone did so, slowly removing himself from within you before filling you back up again in slow and teasing thrusts. Using his thumb, Bakugou spread his cum across your cheek and to your lips, allowing you to lick and suck it off his fingers.

“You like the taste of my cum, don’t you?”

“Yes,” You answered breathlessly, staring up at him through blurry and teary vision. “I love it. I love your cum—” Your voice hitched as Katsuki removed himself from your pussy, sinking his cock instead into your ass as deep as it would go. Once done, he grabbed your arms and shifted your positions, laying down as he pulled your body back against his. Understanding, you kept your legs open and displayed, panting as you smiled up at Bakugou.

“C’mon, love. I want you both to fuck me until you’ve had enough. I told you I could take it.”

And so you did, for hours you were treated how you had wanted to be, subdued and ravaged until your limbs were sore and body was sticky with cum and sweat. Both men had plenty to give and were just as eager to pleasure you, giving you everything you had ever wanted out of the experience. When you finally had enough was in the shower, as Bakugou enjoyed using the strongest setting of the removable shower head on your clit while they both fucked you mercilessly. You were positive that you had never had such a powerful orgasm, even sure that your mind had gone black for a few seconds as you came, pressed between their bodies just like when you had started.

Now cleaned and so worn out you couldn’t quite move your legs, Bakugou carried you to the bed once dried off, shoving the dirtied comforter off the bed to leave mostly clean sheets for you to lay on. As he sat you down, he softly moved some hair out of your face, kissing your lips sweetly. “How was that, you stupid girl? Got your fill?”

Smiling, you shook your head, gaining a confused cock of his eyebrow. With a wave of your arm to call Katsuki over as well, you patted both sides of the bed. “I want double cuddles.”

“At the same time?” Both men huffed in similar tones simultaneously, making you giggle.

“Yes! C’mon, lay with me.”

Giving each other annoyed glances, both of them crawled into bed on either side of you. While you stayed on your back, they both squeezed in close, with Bakugou’s face resting in your hair while Katsuki pressed his lips against your cheek, showering you in soft and gentle kisses. Your heart fluttered from the sweet affection of both men, feeling for the moment that you were the luckiest woman in the world. Even if it was just for the evening, having two living version of your husband there to love you was something that you would never forget. It was sad to lose one of them, which was the particularly more affectionate one at the moment, but at least you had given him an enjoyable existence.

“I love you.” You spoke softly, already beginning to feel sleep pulling at your mind as you reached up to softly stroke both of their cheeks.

“I love you, too.” Both spoke in unison, filling your last waking moment for the evening with a fluffy and warm sense of love that would carry you on into your dreams.

#cutesuki-lemons #bnha imagines #bnha scenarios #bakugou x reader #bakugou #katsuki bakugou #bnha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha fanfiction #fanfiction #bnha writing blog #xreader #request

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mostlysignssomeportents · 4 years

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Big mail providers block indie mailing lists

There's lots of reasons for the renaissance in "newsletters" (what we used to call moderated mailing lists), but top of the list was the realization by all kinds of companies, organizations and individuals that trusting Google or Facebook was a very bad bet.

Google delivered the first warning shot when it started shuttering its social networking tools based on inscrutable business logic.

But FB showed us the worst endgame when it deployed algorithms that located vibrant "fan pages" and dialed down their ability to reach subscribers who'd asked to see updates; then approached those neutered page owners with offers to "boost their reach" for pay.

Allowing a Big Tech company to hold your customers hostage was obviously a losing bet. But thankfully, there's one major, federated platform left online, the original one: email.

By switching to email to communicate with stakeholders, businesses, orgs and individuals could insulate themselves from the arbitrary decisions of Big Tech execs whose indifference or greed had destroyed so many successful, hard-built lists.

And what's more, a raft of companies - Mailchimp and its competitors - sprang up to help these companies run their lists. But these companies leave a lot to be desired, starting with their widespread deployment of "read receipts" and other privacy-invading tricks.

And then there's their role in enabling a bunch of toxic behavior (I've unsubscribed from hundreds of Mailchimp lists, but I never signed up for any of them, and the company won't tell me which other lists I'm on and let me unsubscribe from them, too).

But running a moderated mailing-list isn't rocket science. If you operate your own mail-server, you can set up a free/open list-management tool like Mailman in minutes.

Email is federated, right? So you don't need to pay Big Tech or a spying, spammy mailing list company.

Well...

Email is much more federated in practice than it is in reality.

Most of us get our email from one of a few giant email providers - Google, Apple, or our ISPs, like AT&T and its myriad subsidiaries - as well as secret rules for selecting blocking or passing email means that sending mail from your own mailserver is harder than it's ever been.

I've been running my own mailserver since the 20th century (more accurately, Ken Snider has run one for me!).

I routinely find that I can't exchange email with people because their mail provider has blacklisted my mailserver for looking spammy, despite the fact that the server has one user, me. I admit that I live in email, but I don't send THAT much.

For example, AT&T - and its subsidiaries - blocked email from my server for FIVE YEARS, despite calls, emails, and public shaming on Twitter and elsewhere.

Needless to say, spam is still alive and well (and inspiring even more onerous, secretive mail procedures).

Now, I have a newsletter, the plura-list. It's a small, cozy thing that I started in January as a way of getting the threads I post to Twitter (and mirror to my blog, Pluralistic.net) in a single daily email.

https://mail.flarn.com/mailman/listinfo/plura-list/

This weekend, I lost every single subscriber who had used a Mac.com, Me.com, or other Apple-controlled mail provider.

Why? Because Apple had been rejecting email from my server after an algorithm flagged it as spam.

(It's not spam. The list uses a double opt-in where you have to sign up and then click a link that's sent to your email).

Now, if you get bounces from a mailserver and don't unsubscribe the bouncing account, there's a good chance the mailer will block you as a spammer.

So after my mailing list manager saw a bunch of bounces from Apple's mailservers, it kicked every Apple user out automatically.

Which raises the question, why did Apple start bouncing my emails?

That's not clear, but the best guess is that some subscribers didn't open their emails for several consecutive days, which caused Apple to assume that the list was spam, and start to bounce ALL messages sent to ALL Apple users.

There are ways around this. I could sign up with Mailchimp or one of its rivals - companies that have done deals with the big mail services to treat their email as non-spam. Or I can dial the number of bounces before unsubscribe way up (and risk being blocklisted for that!).

I'm manually resubbing all those Apple users today (which has its own email death-penalty risk), and if you are a subscriber and want to ensure that the mail isn't blocked, you can add the list address ([email protected]) to your address book.

In the early days of the spamwars, open internet advocates warned that making it harder to send mail would lead to concentration and monopolization of the original federated channel, and that it would drive professionalization among spammers.

Which is exactly where we've landed.

#pluralistic

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anime-alyssa · 4 years

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this is going to be kind of a long post, maybe. i dont think anyone is going to care about this, but this is my blog, my safe space to vent and shit where no one in real life knows this is me so alas, here i am.

yesterday while i was in disney world with my best friend, i had to hop on a conference call with my job. they said that rather than firing people cause of this virus, and since we can’t shut down, they’re reducing everybody’s work.

everyone will be working every other week for the next 30 days. the weeks you work, you get paid. the weeks you don’t, you don’t get paid. because of this, i’m going to be out around $1000 for the next 30 days. i asked to work from home on the off weeks, but was told that most likely i can’t do that.

my rent is $700 a month for a room, my school loans are $700 across all four. that’s around $1400 in bills, add in around another $150 for my phone bill and other things that are just nice to have and its around $1550 my monthly expenses, not including getting food and shit.

without that regular $1000 i need i can’t survive. so i’ve been having a panic attack on and off every few hours cause of it. i live 1300 miles away from all my family, i receive no financial help from them. i’ve been told i should collect unemployment, but then seen that i wouldn’t qualify for it.

over the next 30 days i can promise you that i will still be writing (my list is endless), but that i will also be posting my ko-fi link every chance i get after i publish something and leading up to it and promoting my new commissions as well.

i know its annoying to see those posts everywhere, which is why i made this post - to let you know that i’m going to be tagging them as ko-fi promo & commissions. that way, if you don’t wanna see the posts you can blacklist them.

this is so that in some way, maybe i can bring in a little extra money to get gas in my car and food in my stomach. fic is free content that hopefully entertains you, we don’t get paid for fic (obviously) and i’ll never start charging in order for people to read fic, but in a time like this i have to use that ko-fi link to try to help me survive. otherwise i’ll just starve to death or some shit.

thanks for reading, sorry for the long post. i just wanted to be honest about my situation so that way it doesn’t seem like i’m always begging for money for a stupid reason - my reasons are legit and real shit. if you want to donate to my ko-fi or commission me, click the links above. if anyone doesn’t want to donate through those platforms, message me and i can give a direct paypal email.

i don’t know when i’m gonna write a new fic, considering i’m feeling pretty anxious and shit right now. but thank you for supporting me and following me.

#ko-fi promo #alyssa speaks #long post #commissions

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aahsoka · 4 years

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So having been on tiktok for a bit I wanna talk a little about it.

What I like

It’s actually rather entertaining to scroll through up to 30 second videos one after the other. Sometimes the humor falls flat or it’s not your taste, but the algorithim is quite good at recommending the kind of content you will like.

I joined right when there was a big trend going around about sharing your culture, and soon after a Blackout trend where non-Black creators stopped posting for a day & spread/supported videos by Black creators. So I ended up with a fairly diverse fyp or “for you page”. It also quickly gathered that I am bisexual, so I get plenty of lgbt+ content. There’s some art mixed in there, some cosplay, some historical costuming/seamstresses, lots of avatar jokes lately, musical theatre content, fashion, girls in bikinis on rollerskates (in outer space), commentary on political issues, body positivity, all the kinds of stuff I like. To get a feed that caters to your interests you just have to watch & like videos you’re interested in & eventually it gets a feel for what you’ll watch and what you won’t.

Theres a trend where people say which ‘side’ of tiktok they’re on and I get ‘science side of tumblr’ flashbacks but I’ve mostly avoided the “straight” and conservative sides of tiktok. I would be considered a part of “woke”, “alt” (as in alternative) and lgbt+ tiktok (there are separate ones for each letter of the acronym). Possibly also “theatre” and “cosplay” tiktok. These categories are nebulous and you’re usually part of multiple communities; its just as arbitray as ‘science side of tumblr’ was.

The format reminds me of snapchat a little, and I love to talk to myself on video & post dumb thirst traps for my friends (none of which I’m attracted to so idk what my goal is there) and make stupid jokes. So this app is kinda perfect for my attention seeking side & hyperactive tendencies. Its very easy to consume on a short attention span, though not as easy as vine was.

Being in quarantine, its a way for a lot of people to engage in hobbies that involve community. Cosplay is pretty popular, as its a fun way to show off a costume & dress up & have fun without having to attend a convention. I enjoy the way lip synced audios can be used to emulate the character someone is dressed as; that’s something you couldn’t really do unless you were really good at impressions. Its a nice succinct way to show the process of creating a cosplay as well.

Those who enjoy theatre, but cannot perform in shows at this time, are able to create mini-monologues & sketches as well as sing parts of their favorite songs. Its an avenue through which to perform without putting anyone at risk of the virus. It’s also an easy way to show off your talents without having to go through the audition process & actually get cast in a show as a prominent enough role that someone will notice it.

It’s a convenient format for discourse and educational videos. Nice, short, easily digestible tidbits that stay in your mind. This extremely catchy song, for example: “Black neighborhoods are overpoliced, so of course they have higher rates of crime, and white perpetrators are undercharged, so of course they have lower rates of crime. And all of those stupid stats you keep using are operating off a small sample size. So, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up”.

As well as other videos where people take the time to explain historical events, satirize racist arguments to demonstrate why they are wrong, talk about prevalent tropes in movies, teach a few signs in ASL, share facts about their culture, etc, etc. I have found there are quite a lot of people there from unique and fairly unknown cultures and backgrounds- and this is a place where they’re able to share their culture & existence with people all over the world. There are a thousand different viewpoints. Their videos are doing far more for diverse representation than any other platform, I’d argue, as everyone is extremely visible on the app. (‘Their’ as in the creators, not the app itself).

I also have enjoyed coming across new artists on the app. It’s really fun to watch the process they go through, as most art videos deal with the whole creation of a piece. It’s inspiring. I have also come across a painter who’s work I’m in love with, and a woman who makes and sells the CUTEST ceramic mugs, and I need to purchase some stuff from them both.

Now onto the bad:

Unfortunately, the app doesn’t have much in the way of a filtering or warning system. I talked about that tiktok of the kids coming across human remains? That was just on people’s fyp. Just popped up. No warning. No reason for it to still be up. Traumatizing.

You can click on a video and say ‘not interested’ (I do this to literally every video I get where some girl is thirsting after kylo ren 🤮..... like I want the star wars videos just not THOSE videos). However, it doesn’t seem to know exactly why you weren’t interested, because I still get those videos from time to time. There’s no content filter where I can blacklist the kylo ren or any other hashtag.

There’s some very shitty content. There are racist conservatives. Misogynistic teen white boys. Really weird thirst traps. Videos where people lip sync to something with a straight face and tag it with #acting. Harmful body image trends. I thankfully stay very clear of this, but this kind of content makes me worry for the minors on the app. The one’s who don’t have enough of a concept of self yet to realize they don’t need to be able to do the newest pointless beauty trend to be beautiful, to realize it’s ok for them to be gay, to realize how predatory some adults can be, etc etc.

It is extremely easy to come across minors on the app who don’t look like teens. One time I went to a girl’s page and it said she was FIFTEEN. I’m usually good at guessing ages but something about this app messes that up. I wish there was a way to separate people under 18 and adults. Where I don’t have minor’s thirst traps popping up on my fyp. Where pedophiles don’t get a chance to curate that fyp intentionally. If anyone reading this has kids, I highly recommend they make their tiktok private or only viewable to friends.

Just like any site, there are plenty of bigots. Lots of racist comments. Plenty of transphobia. Any hatred you’ve seen elsewhere, of course it exists on tiktok. I have actually zero clue if you can report people & if it works. Most people seem to send a video commentary to their haters or duet a video of a racist pointing out their racism. I’ve heard of creators blocking people, however. I remember a tiktok of a Black woman who’s video somehow went fairly viral in Poland and now she gets a lot of racist comments from this large group of random racisf Polish followers she has and its extremely time consuming to block them all, as there’s no mass block feature.

The rumors about what works with the algorithm and doesn’t abound. I’ve heard well lit videos get more views. Many people suspect they have been shadowbanned for speaking out about current events. TikTok will remove the audio from videos sometimes if they deem it controversial enough. Most of us know they were criticized recently for intentionally keeping Black creator’s videos from being seen (a catalyst for the Blackout, actually). Or you may also recall when it was criticized for widely removing lgbt+ content. Those creators are fighting to be seen the same amount as straight cis white creators are allowed to be seen with no effort.

The effects some trends could have on teen girls. So many of them are already so uncomfortable in their own skin simply because of societal standards, but the absolutely meaningless challenges people come up with on tiktok make it so much worse. One trend was based around whether your finger touched your lips when you put it in your nose. Or if you could get your clasped hands around the back of your legs and over your butt (if they get passed, you have a flat ass, if they get stuck, its big). These completely arbitrary signifiers of the things you need to have in order to be pretty, are far more ridiculous that anything I have seen yet in my life. I worry about little girls taking these ideas to heart. There is a very kind body positive community on the app & I hope more people can find that.

There’s also that thing where they steal your data. Like most apps. But apparently they got a lot more invasive than usual, so I would look into it before making an account; if you want to do that.

I think the apps users can be great & its a pretty intuitive set up. It certainly deserves its popularity solely as a creative form of social media. That being said, its owners are so so insidious & do the worst things. Just like all other social media, its controlled by the worst kind of people. Who can never figure out how to effectively get rid of nazis or keep kids safe from adult content.

These are my less serious gripes with the app:

1) Lip syncing

When people lip sync and don’t do any kind of skit, joke, etc, just look as if they’re saying what someone else said; I hate that. I have to go back and find the original tiktok so I can like it instead. You literally did nothing interesting by ripping off someones audio and moving your lips along to it. So many people on this app are creative and so many others lack any semblance of creativity.

Also people are too easily impressed by lip syncing to kinda-fast songs. I lip synced to like....10 seconds of the devil went down to georgia and two people praised my lip syncing abilities. Like, I can also sing and talk fast, out loud, isn’t that more impressive? more skillful? The fiddle playing in that song is impressive, not the fact I can lip sync ‘the devil went down to georgia, he was lookin for a soul to steal, he was in a bind, cause he was way behind.’ Have you ever seen someone play Johnny’s fiddle solo????? It’s insane!!!

Rather than see someone lip sync to the verse in Stressed Out 2x faster than normal (which is, extremely simple and the song was overplayed and ingrained into our collective consciousness) and go WOW what about someone.....doing the verse out loud. You can litterally just mouth random words and look like you’re saying the right ones. It’s driving me crazy lmao. I’m set to become a God of tiktok because I have a repertoire of fast songs and rap verses memorized. It’s not even an uncommon skill to speak or sing quickly, people literally make rap music for a living! Listen to it maybe.

2) “Acting”

I am begging you to stop making me sit through those horrible POVs. I cannot take another girl not quite fake crying towards the camera as she lip syncs the words from a song that apply to the random situation she decided she was in. I cannot take another boy who thinks its sexy to stare into a camera and smirk in every single situation he creates.

Back to lip syncing, making facial expressions along to words isn’t really acting. Try saying the words out loud perhaps? The inflection you use with your lines is a pretty big part of acting. Like you can lip sync all you want, just stop tagging it with #acting.

3) Comedic timing, or lack thereof

You don’t need the entire intro to sit there looking at the camera waiting until the first line starts and you can lip sync to the part that’s the joke. You could cut off at least 15 seconds. Brevity is the soul of wit.

When your joke involves both reading text on screen and listening to the song for the punchline, if it isn’t done prefectly, its so difficult to follow. I can’t read a paragraph in 5 seconds. Paraphrase.

4) self deprecating artist audio

the audio thats like ‘this wont get views’ ‘I suck’ ‘you probably won’t see this anyway’ LOVE YOURSELF

It sucks when people dont enagage with your art but it sucks worse when your value in yourself and you art is based solely on receiving that validation. Please find a healthy medium.

Also you’re asking for pity, and you don’t want that. You want people who genuinely love your art for what it is.

5) editing videos is really hard how do you make such cool & smooth transitions????

please help me I don’t understand

Finally

here’s my account if you’re interested

#this long ass opinion article no one asked for #tiktok #social media #jordan talks #long post /

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beatrice-otter · 4 years

Note

I support AO3, but if your argument is 'the pedophilia fics are either framed as abuse or teens having joyful sex' you're deluded. There's lot of stuff on AO3 that's frankly disturbing and written as wank material. That's the issue - whether you're in favour or against PWP featuring child rape for lolz. Imo censorship is complicated, but there's also no need to pretend it's all heroes and nice queer writers.

Sure, there’s really disturbing stuff on AO3. Why it was written and why people like reading it, however, are things that are almost impossible to accurately judge from the POV of a third party. Mostly because “this person wanks to it” and “this person is using it to process their trauma” are not fucking exclusive. A lot of times, fics can be both!

And also, the vast majority of fics that I’ve seen that get called pedophilia are either a) nothing of the sort (teens having sex) or b) framed explicitly as abusive.

And the thing is, this ain’t my first rodeo. I have seen censorship attempts in fandom. You know what the first target is, of censorship? The harmless teens having sex and rape-is-bad fics. Those go down hard and fast. You know what stays? The genuinely disturbing stuff with no redeeming value.

This is for a couple of reasons. First, a lot of people who go on these moral crusades use the genuinely terrible stuff as an excuse to go on against stuff they don’t like so they can control people and what they create. (Don’t believe me? Consider the antis, the people who make the most fuss about the terrible stuff on AO3. Do you think the people who argue that “if you ship two adults who have a height/size difference, it’s because you’re infantilizing someone and therefore you’re a pedophile” will be rational and make appropriate, nuanced judgments about which fics are bad and which are not? 🤣🤣🤣🤣)

Second, as seen on ff.net and other places, when you try to get rid of certain content, whether that is all sexually explicit material or just certain types of material deemed objectionable, you don’t actually end up getting rid of that stuff. People still create it and post it. The difference is, they don’t tag it. So then the people who don’t WANT to read it stumble on it by accident.

I would much, much, MUCH rather have a world where I can filter out or blacklist certain tags and never have to encounter such fics than a world in which I have to click on a fic and read a bit of it before realizing it’s really disturbing and going to give me nightmares.

#censorship #ao3 #Anonymous

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shadowofthelamp · 5 years

Text

Fandom Trades: Tips and Tricks

I’ve been running a secret santa for five years now, and a few people expressed interest in a sort of ‘guide’. It does take some elbow grease to get things up and running, but it’s very rewarding and gets easier as you go. Click the ‘read more’ for some stuff I’ve picked up over the years! It’s a bit general to try and cover anything, but if you have any questions, you can ask! (And if you’ve run one yourself, feel free to add on!)

FAQ: Something that’s a really good idea to have. Here’s the most important stuff on it that would probably be applicable to most trades:

-Basic summary of what the trade will be- some could be fic-only or art-only, or even specific-ship-only. Mine’s general to ‘all sonic sfw content’, but setting guidelines so people know what they’re getting into is a good idea so you won’t have to answer the same question over and over.

-Deadlines. Make them clear. Mine’s easy (Christmas Eve) but depending on what size the gift is expected to be, the time frame can be adjusted.

-Related, set up rules for if people need to drop out. It happens, so be prepared. (This is why I ask now if people are alright giving a second gift.)

-Any particular rules for your trade- is it sfw or is nsfw acceptable? (In that case, set age limits.) Are there ships that will or won’t be allowed? Is there a punishment for violating the rules or turning things in late, like not being allowed to participate in the trade again?

PROMOTION:

A promo image is a good idea! I’ve been using the same one for a few years that was put together by a friend no longer on tumblr, but images catch people’s eyes faster than a text dump. Make something that’s easy to understand but gets the point across, and the text below should have enough information without overwhelming the casual scroller.

Space paragraphs often to make it less intimidating. Include links to the FAQ, the sample entry, and the submit box right in the post, as well as a way to contact you- you want things to be as easy as possible for anyone interested. Here’s my promo post.

You also want to start promotion early- I start posting and reblogging my promo a full month before the entry deadline, to give as many people the chance to see it as possible. Any earlier, and they might not care- (who wants to see a Christmas trade post in October when you’re hyped for Halloween?) and any later and you might not get as many participants as you could have. A month-ish is a good time frame. (I also have a tag for the promo post, so people can blacklist it if they aren’t interested and don’t want to see it 15 times.)

SAMPLE ENTRIES:

Also something that’s good to have. Having a template for what you want entries to look like will make sorting easier for you. Here’s mine. It’s a good idea to scout around for other trades to find out what would work for you.

MAKING ASSIGNMENTS:

Next, setting up how to arrange who gets assigned to who. I personally use google spreadsheets. These are the categories I use, feel free to steal them: Username, medium (art, writing, amvs, ect), whether they’ll work with fan characters, what they’d like to receive, what they won’t do (one year I even added ‘if there’s anyone you won’t work with’ so if it’s a fandom with drama, that one might be good), who they’re gifting to, who they’re receiving from, if they’ve submitted their piece yet, if their piece is in the queue, and if they’re alright with doing backup.

I also had a category for if they’ve confirmed they’re still in once assignments were sent out. (Boy, was that one nerve-wracking during the whole tumblr purge debacle of last year- I didn’t know if anybody had just quit tumblr mid-month.)

You will run into people who only want two or three things nobody else wrote on their sheet. If you can’t find even one match, then just put them with someone who had a wide variety on theirs, or who doesn’t have anything on their ‘won’t do’ list. Trying to match with multiple likes is a better bet, though, so encouraging longer lists of what people want makes things easier for you in the long run!

I personally just went in a line- I picked one person, found who they would give a gift to, and then found who THAT person would give a gift to. Rinse and repeat down the list, and it’ll end with everyone paired. I ended up making a closed loop and then sorting the last 8 or so, which was fine. An easy way to check that you didn’t double-classify anyone is control-f and searching names. If their name pops up 3 times, you did it right.

SENDING OUT ASSIGNMENTS:

Just copy-pasting the part of the entry that includes the person’s name and their likes makes this way easier for you over trying to type them out individually. Ask for confirmation that people got their assignments so you don’t have to worry if they missed it.

HOW TO KEEP THINGS ORGANIZED:

My system is this: I’ve mentioned it before, but I utilize a combination of my spreadsheet and the queue function. Let’s say Sally’s making a gift for Jake, Jake’s making a gift for Taylor, and Taylor’s making a gift for Sally. Sally submits her piece of art for Jake. I mark that off on the sheet, so when Taylor submits the gift for Sally, that gift will go in the queue to be posted whenever the deadline is up because she turned hers in already.

This keeps people motivated to complete their parts of the trade, since they won’t get their gifts until they do. If someone drops out, tell the person making the gift for them- if you’re lucky, they can rework what they have for the person that the drop-out was supposed to make something for, but if not, bring in someone who didn’t mind making a second gift. Person making the gift for the dropout can choose if they want to continue making it or not- if it’s mostly done and not a fan-character, they can just post it on their own blog unrelated to the trade.

It’s also a good idea to have a ‘hub’ where things are posted. If it’s a fic trade, ao3 has a function specifically for this, but I’ve found having things submitted directly to you makes it a million times easier to keep track of who’s finished their pieces, as well as keeping things ‘secret’ until the big day. (People have gotten confused or excited and posted early before.)

If people want to post elsewhere after it’s posted on the main hub, set your own rules- I say it’s fine as long as it links back to the blog and links the giftee, particularly if it involves fancharacters. You make your own judgement.

BE PATIENT:

This is one that’s very important. Some people don’t check the FAQ, and some people are going to be new, asking questions that you swear you’ve answered before or thought would be obvious. They generally just want to know, so take a deep breath. They don’t know they’re the fifth person to ask that question. Answer politely, or steer them towards the FAQ. (Running the same event year after year, you run into this a lot- they’re just new, be nice!)

Don’t start an event that you expect to have plenty of people participating if you aren’t prepared to hear the same questions a couple of times. Things might get a little annoying- take a step back for a few minutes, cool off, but try to remain professional. You signed up for this. For me, it’s always worth it to see how happy people are about their gifts, but know yourself and your limits- running a themed week where people post art at their own pace is less hassle, so you could try that if you don’t feel up to organizing a full trade!

If you can have a friend to bounce things off of, that can help too, but don’t use them as just a dumping ground. Tumblr allows multiple ‘mods’ on a blogs, so splitting work can make things easier, particularly if it’s your first run doing something like this. I had a friend who helped me the first few years before leaving tumblr. Be sure you trust the person, though! They’ll be able to edit posts and delete submissions, so if any drama happens, beware. (This never happened to me, but it doesn’t hurt to be careful.)

TAGGING:

Add tags to the submission box. I don’t know why this took me four years to think of, but it saved me a lot of time last year. If it’s a trade that covers an entire fandom and dozens of ships, you can add the shipping tags as they come in, but adding the ten or so most popular character tags helps a lot. If it’s going to involve potentially triggering content, common trigger tags are a good idea too. (A Halloween trade might need this, for example, or one that involves nsfw content.)

PEOPLE TURNING THINGS IN LAST MINUTE:

It’s going to happen. I think one year I was panicking on the 23rd because I only had half the gifts, and all but one had been turned in by the time I went to bed on the 24th. People procrastinate- if you get in most of the gifts ahead of time, you can thank your lucky stars. Try not to stress over it, but feel free to post reminders in the week before/days leading up to the deadline. My family travels around the holidays a lot, and I managed to get everything queued up properly through airport and hotel wifi more than one year, so you’ll be just fine if you try and stay calm.

OTHER/GENERAL:

It’s absolutely worth it, in my opinion- I’ve been doing this for years for a reason. My favorite thing is knowing I’ve done something that made others happy. Going through all the excited responses Christmas morning is equal or above getting presents from my family, because I know it’s on some level because of me facilitating the trade in the first place. I hear over and over this is something people look forward to, and it genuinely warms my heart.

It might take a few years to get established, but if you find a niche (there was a blog called sonic secret santa, but it hadn’t been updated in years) you might be surprised how fast you can gather people! I like seeing people show up year after year, it’s how I know I’m doing something right.

It is definitely work, and there is stress involved, (especially if people drop out or don’t send in their gifts on time) but the benefits outweigh the negatives, I say. People are generally understanding if there’s a problem, as long as you make it known you’re working on it.

You have to commit to the responsibility if you do this- people who are making gifts are putting their trust in you that you’ll keep things organized and they’ll get something for the gift they’re giving. You can’t guarantee everything will run exactly as planned, but you can be as transparent as possible when you hit a bump- ‘I’m sorry, but your person said they’ll be late because they were having internet problems/personal life issues and is doing their best’ is going to get a lot better of a response than radio silence. Be sympathetic, but be firm on the rules if need be.

I hope this helped a bit, and thanks for reading!

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eg4mccc · 5 years

Text

Installing MCCC for Sims 4

I thought I'd take some time and walk you through installing MC Command Center into your Sims 4 game.

Verify that your game is up to date, check the GameVersion.txt file in your /Sims 4 folder.

Check the Compatibility Requirements on the download page or post for MCCC, to ensure you have the version that will work with your game.

For Sims 4 1.50.67, MCCC should be 6.2.0. Until there is a pre-release up on Deaderpool's Patreon, ALL MCCC users should now have 6.2.0. (April 6, 2019)

Links to MCCC are always available on any of these 3 pages:

Deaderpool's Website

Patreon

Tumblr

No matter which site you download from, the process is the same.

Click the zip file link to download the zip, or both zips, if you want mc_woohoo's functionality in your game. I leave my zips in the Downloads folder, personally.

I've used 7zip for years, but Windows 7, 8.1, or 10 can unzip these for you.

These next two pictures show what you're looking for, the package and ts4script files inside the zip archives.

If this is your first time installing MC Command Center, create a new folder in your Documents > Electronic Arts > The Sims 4 > Mods folder for MCCC.

Any Script Mod needs to either be loose in /Mods, or, preferably, inside a folder there. They will not work placed any deeper than (for example) /Mods/MCCC.

Adding all of the files from the above two pictures will give you everything shown BELOW the highlighted line, in the next screenshot.

This is from my own installation, and Deaderpool uses my screenshots for his Installation page, because this is how MCCC works.

Successfully running the game and having MCCC load properly will generate both the mc_settings.cfg file and the log (text) file.

If this is NOT your first time, and you are updating MCCC from an earlier version, the trick to remember is to ONLY delete ALL of the packages and ts4scripts. You want to KEEP the config (.cfg) files, to preserve your settings. The log is optional, I keep mine, but you can delete it if you want. The mod will create the file again when it runs.

This is why I sort the picture by file Type when I make the screenshot, so all of the files to keep or delete are grouped together.

In addition to the mc_settings.cfg file, you may also have

a mc_dresser.cfg file (if you have saved any outfits, or whitelisted or blacklisted any items in game with MCCC)

a mc_dresser.cfg.bak file (if you have added/removed anything from your dresser settings file)

a mc_tuner.cfg file (if you have used MCCC's Autoscan to disable any interactions)

If you have not done any of that, do not worry about these files.

Ready to test? If your MCCC folder matches mine above, load your game. If you see this when you load a live lot for the first time, everything's fine, and you should go play!!

If you do not see the above notification when you load up, Deaderpool's Troubleshooting page can help you get going. Read and follow that, and if you still need help, come see us on Discord.

Happy Simming!

Finding egwarhammer

https://eg4mccc.tumblr.com/

https://twitter.com/eg4mccc

https://www.patreon.com/egwarhammer

#sims 4 #deaderpoolmc #mc command center #discord #support

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dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram · 4 years

Note

Your current discourse around Harry’s voice is interesting. Before I came across it on your blog, it is something I had been ruminating on for a while. I can’t remember what sparked it but my point of departure was thinking about Harry’s engagement as a pop star. Why did it feel like he was more engaged on stage than in an interview (where he is trying to either not say things, or distance himself using passive language)? 1/5

And then I tried to parse out which areas felt more authentic. Stage. Interviews. Lyrics. Etc. Essentially trying to get to some sort of theory that felt like I took into account all available information. My theory for his increased engagement and ease on stage is that it is the medium that is least widely disseminated, the least consumed by the general public - only highly engaged fans would either go to a concert or watch concert footage. 2/5

Ask a casual fan about “Tina, she’s gay” and they will have no idea. A safer space, if you will. I think his avoidance in interviews is in part due to wanting to keep certain aspects of his private life private (his relationship with Louis for example) as well as the fact that interviews are direct and two-way (as opposed to stage banter). Even blacklisted questions can be asked by a disrespectful journalist. 3/5

And I can’t discount that his years in 1D may have given him a unhealthy relationship to the shaping of a public image and a public voice. One that was thrust upon him, not chosen. But upon reading your posts, I thing ‘engagement’ might not be the entirely correct line of thinking. I agree with you that his BLM post shows a distinctive lack of voice. And that is even more interesting to me. 4/5

*************

Thanks for your thoughts anon.

I think engagement is also an interesting way of thinking about things (in particular - when is Harry engaged and when is he engaging. I tend to think there’s a large overlap between when he’s engaged and when he’s engaging, but I think there’s some entangling to figure out if they’re the same thing). I don’t think I have anything to say at the moment, but I’ll think about it (is the problem Harry needs to be engaged with something - and an audience is the engaged with he’s most prepared to do on camera).

I find authenticity quite a difficult way to think or talk about things, because it has this tendancy to fall apart. But I’ve got a lot of unresolved thoughts about privacy as well, particularly the way it gets used in this fandom. I’m really not sure that I think Harry’s withdrawl from public speech has anything to do with privacy. It’s much much easierto be private if you actively tell a story (which might have elements of truth or might not) than if you have a lot of blank space all aroud you.

I’d love to hear more of your thoughts about these things, but I’m going to come back to voice now, becuase ever since I read Harry’s BLM statement, I started thiking about it and a whole bunch of things clicked into place.

I think your comparison with Taylor is super interesting. And I did think, ‘I hope Harry’s watched Taylor’s documetary’. But I do think there’s a crucial difference - because Taylor always had a strong voice - there were just some things she didn’t feel comfortable saying.

But what it made me think of is celebrities who don’t have a strong voice or withdraw their voice. Obviously you get celebrities like Beyoncé who have withdrawn from the public eye a lot. But Beyoncé still has a voice - it’s just that she only uses it in situations where she has control. It’s reasonably common for celebrities to do some version of that. To withdraw from speaking in some ways to give more power to what htey’re saying i others.

And I think that is what I find most noteable about Harry’s BLM statement - it really makes it clear that he’s not withdrawing his voice in some places so it’ll have more power in others. He doesn’t have a voice with which he can easily talk about important issues in.

Are there other celebrities who don’t have a voice with which they talk easily with? Certainly actors and what not might not need one, but a musician? I’d be really interested if people can think of ay other examples. The only one I can think of is Kate Middleton - which is obviously a very specific circumstance.

#Oh Harry #I have so many questions #Anonymous

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hypermoyashi · 5 years

Text

Okay, so, hi everyone? I’ve gotten some new followers, which is a bit surprising, and I’m sure some of you are aware of the discourse currently happening the mdzs fandom. Normally, as my about page states, I will not participate in fandom discourse under any circumstances, but as I was personally signaled out in this, I’ll be making an exception just this once. I’ll be placing everything under a cut just so those of you who don’t want this discourse showing up on your dash can avoid it.

Okay, so if you’re unaware, a blocklist was recently created of people in the fandom that minors should avoid/be aware of. I, as well as one of my good fandom friends, was on this list. I will not be posting links to said list in any way, shape, or form, as I believe it is poorly worded and just wholely not handled well in its original context.

I’d like to preface this entire post with one important idea: you curate your own fandom experience. I actually encourage blocking/blacklisting things and people who make you uncomfortable, just be respectful about it. You don’t need to announce it, or let someone know you’re blocking them. If I in any way make you uncomfortable for any reason, and you are uncomfortable talking to me about it to try and fix the problem, then please unfollow me, block me, or whatever will make you the most happy and comfortable. In the end, fandom is about fun, and it shouldn’t be taken too seriously. It shouldn’t be used to hurt people.

I can’t say I’m not upset that I and my friend were included, and while I don’t know most of the people on that list enough to make a judgment, based on the reasons my friend and I were listed, I don’t believe the judgment of the original creator of the list was wholly sound. For full transparency, I am going to include why I, personally, was signaled out.

The first reason is for my submission here: https://mxtxpositivity.tumblr.com/post/183334608470/fic-rec-realize-what-you-never-knew-by

The fic I recommended is a fic that the friend I previously mentioned wrote, and I recommended it because I enjoy it and I enjoy supporting my friend’s writing. Now, the fic in question is about the junior trio, but it is written in a context where they are older and not minors. To be fair, my friend did not tag for this, and the lack of a tag for it was not something that I, as her beta, caught, either. I don’t particularly intend to debate whether or not it’s okay to write sexual content about young characters after they’ve been aged up, as it’s a rather gray area and whether it will bother you will vary. If it does bother you, however, that’s perfectly valid and I encourage you to avoid it. Blacklisting is a wonderful thing, and ao3 now includes a function to exclude ships.

The second reason I was signaled out in this post is for this: http://hypermoyashi.tumblr.com/tagged/yaoi

And just so it’s clear that I have not altered or cleared this in any way, here’s a screenshot with the time and date in the corner:

I would scroll down to show you guys more of the tag, but there is none. My yaoi tag is just two posts. This is the basis for which I was said to “support yaoi.” I’d like to point out that one post is literally a criticism of the genre as a whole. I have no idea why I tagged the second post as yaoi, but it was reblogged three years ago. It is not something I would reblog and tag that way today. I’ve used the same blog, the same username, for well over seven years now. There is bound to be some stuff here that doesn’t reflect who I am today, and there is also bound to be things that I’ve mistagged or not tagged appropriately in the past. I do not have the energy to clean absolutely everything out, but if you would like to point something out to me, I will be happy to change it. For my purposes, I’m not going to be altering my yaoi tag, in case anyone wants to check it for themselves.

Now, just as an off-topic, I’d like to point out that I’m bi/gray ace. I don’t hate yaoi per say, but I do dislike the picture its common tropes paint of the lgbtqa+ community, as anyone who has spoken with me for five minutes about it can tell you.

This is all I was flagged for, but in the name of transparency, I am also going to include something that, had our original poster of the list seen, would’ve been additional reasons for me to land on the list.

I am writing an A.B.O. fic for HOB. It will also contain an explicit scene in the future, and it contains some pretty heavy triggers such as attempted suicide and CSA/abuse. I know A.B.O. tends to be controversial for many, many reasons, but for the record, all characters retain their full facilities during any and all explicit scenes, on or off screen, and are able to consent or not consent to what is going on. Anything of that nature that happens to a minor does not happen on screen and is appropriately tagged as CSA. I also do not endorse or want minors reading this fic, but I’ll get into that later.

Now, does any of this disprove that I’m a potential danger to minors? No, it does not.

For one, disproving a negative is an impossibility. To demonstrate this, I’ll be using the same analogy my statistics teacher used. You have a field. You’re looking for cows. To find some cows, you divide the field up into twenty sections. Unfortunately, you only have the capability to check five of the sections. You check these five sections, and you don’t find any cows. Can you say, for sure, that there are no cows in the field? Nope. Because it’s impossible to check every section, and there could be cows in the sections you don’t check.

I cannot open up the entirety of my memory and history to prove that I have definitely never hurt a minor. It is absolutely never my intention, and if I have, I deeply apologize for it. But I have no way of disproving a negative because it is mathematically impossible.

Now that we’ve gotten up to this point, some of you might be thinking, isn’t treating such a baseless accusation so seriously, in a way, giving it validity? Well, in a way, sort of. The accusation is entirely baseless, yes, and this is going to be the only time I’m going to argue something like this in this way. It upset me, and it’s there, so I want to address it.

Now, I’m going to reference my about page. Here it is:

The text reads, “Hello! I thought, after about five years of owning this blog, give or take, it was probably time to make an about page.

“I mainly write fanfiction, which is almost always posted to ao3 and linked here unless it’s particularly short. Minors are definitely welcome; I don’t reblog or post N**SFW images or videos, nor do I write smut, though please be aware that this blog is “view at your own risk.” I tag for common triggers and potentially harmful content, so it’s up to you to know your limits and blacklist appropriately. That being said, if you need me to tag anything in addition to what I already do, please don’t hesitate to ask!

“My fandoms right now are mainly Bungou Stray Dogs, Heaven Official’s Blessing, Mo Dao Zu Shi, Hakata Tonkotsu Ramens, Pandora Hearts, Vanitas no Carte, Akatsuki no Yona, and D.Gray-man. Please be aware that although I do have particular ships I like, I’m not really that into shipping as a whole.

“I don’t reblog shipping discourse nor will I interact with hostile shippers. If you would like to talk about shipping with me, please do, just be nice! As a bonus, I love platonic relationships, so please talk with me about those if you enjoy them, too.

“ところで、私の日本語はちょっとわるいですけど、話すのが好きです。

“Finally, I consider this blog to be a safe place for me and others that does not discriminate based on race, gender identity, sexual orientation, mental health, physical ability, national origin, or religion. If that bothers you, please click the “back” or “x” button on your browser.

“With all that out of the way, welcome to my blog! I love talking with people, so feel free to message me or leave an ask. I swear you won’t be bothering me. Happy blogging!”

Now, I am going to edit this at some point, because I have written smut now. It’s not posted, but it’s still something I intend to post. But yeah, as of 3/13 around 5pm, that was my about page, and I have not changed it for quite a while. (Sorry I’m not quite as chipper today ^^”)

One of the links on my about page leads to this page:

Which reads:

A quick guide to my tagging system!

my fanfiction: stuff I’ve written

text post: stuff I’ve made/said

q: things posted from my queue (it is a very long queue)

art by op: If there’s no source, then I’m reasonably certain that this art was created by the original poster. If I’m wrong, please let me know and I’ll delete it imeidiately.

icons: whenever I save an icon, whether I use it or not, I reblog it under this tag

personal and/or ramblings: just me talking. Sometimes I won’t even tag these kinds of posts

— mention: normally reserved for common triggers, i.e. “Donald Trump mention” or “sex mention”

n**sfw warning: as stated in my about page, I don’t reblog n**sfw images or videos, but I do reblog n**sfw fic recs (ie links to explicit content) that is unsuitable for minors. If you’re a minor viewing my blog, please blacklist this tag if you feel the need to!

spoilers: anything and everything I think constitutes a spoiler. Sometimes I’m bad about tagging these, though. I don’t tag for specific fandoms, like “su spoilers” or “bsd spoilers,” so please beware of that.

And, for reference, this is the basis for which I generally rate my fics:

G (General Audiences): Anyone can read this

T (Teen Audiences): Anyone 13+ can read this

M (Mature Audiences): Anyone 17/18+ can read this (16 is fine, too, I think, depending on what the reader is comfortable with. My M rated fics often include dark/sexual themes, though, so 17/18 is the more comfortable range)

E (Explicit): Only people who are 18+ should read this (probably not gonna rate anything this since I don’t write smut unless I just really don’t want to endorse any minors reading it)

Again, this should probably be updated as I have written smut, however infrequent. I try to tag for common triggers, and I have asked here that minors under a certain age not read particular fics. All of my fics that depict unhealthy relationships, darker or sexual themes, or anything that I would be uncomfortable with a minor reading are rated Mature or Explicit, depending.

So all in all, I have tried my best to provide a positive experience to anyone who enjoys my content, and I try to tag so that potentially harmful content doesn’t reach those that it might hurt. I’m not perfect, and I can’t control everything. A minor can still go in and read my Explicit/Mature fics on ao3, no matter how much or how loudly I ask them not to. My content is meant to inspire, to show that life can suck, but in the end, everyone is worth it and continue on.

And, on that caveat, I’d like to point out that I generally take a stance of “create and let create.” Freedom of expression is the greatest gift anyone can be given. Yes, avoid content that hurts you, but please don’t lash out at those who create it. Until you know exactly why they’ve created it, what their history is, and what thoughts or feelings they were working through while creating it, please leave them be. Creators should tag their works so people can avoid content that might be harmful to them, but content that is harmful to one person might be another person’s lifeline.

But the reason I’ve laid this all out is that I want you to judge for yourself. Do I seem like someone you want to be friends with? Do I seem like someone harmful? Do I seem like someone you are indifferent to? Please make the decision that is best for you, and if you happen to want to be friends, please let me know ^^

Now, finally, I hope to see a more positive fandom experience come of this. I say all this, however negative or bleak it might be for me, because it was important for me to work through my thoughts, and I hope that something positive can come of honesty and communication.

Please don’t go after the original poster of the list, if you know who they are. It’s better just to let it go. The person seemed to have had good intentions, however ill-executed they were, and talking to them is only going to create more ill will and negativity for everyone. I believe, at least in part, the reason their list is so unfounded and baseless is because the content they cited genuinely hurts them, and when creating the list, they did not look at the full context of everything they were citing. And, well, context is everything, really. This doesn’t really excuse them, as they still hurt people with a largely unhelpful and thoughtless post, but brewing the negative feelings helps no one. I would also like to state that the fact that the content hurts them is not the fault of any of the creators. If you tag appropriately, but someone doesn’t take the time to blacklist or otherwise protect themself from content they know will hurt them, then that’s on them.

Fandom is a really interesting place. It’s full of so many diverse and wonderful people--minors and adults, lgbtqa+ and allies, tons of different nationalities--we should really take more steps to look out for one another. If there’s anything I could be doing better, please let me know. My experience with the mdzs fandom hasn’t been great up to this point, and I want to change that. I love this show, and I also want to love the people who love it alongside me.

Remember, for every not so great person, there are twenty more lovely people just waiting to meet you. And I hope that, from here on, those lovely people get every good thing they deserve.

#discourse #csa mention #abuse mention #rape mention #suicide mention #really if you have any super common triggers please don't read this #not tagging the fandom #and it probably wont show up in the tags because looong #but yeah here is my only participation in discourse #id prefer no reblogs #but feel free to reply #or message me

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incarnateirony · 5 years

Text

To confused Supernatural fraaands joining pillowfort

Making a “how not to get lost” tutorial. I know a new social platform can be really intimidating, and I'm getting a lot of people flocking in from tumblr, sending DMs asking questions -- and no, that's not a sign to stop, I just recognize there's a lot of questions I can give you a masterpost to share to your confused friends!

Included is: how and where to find people and content, maximize your reach and impact, how to actually use the interface to its best capacity, what bugs to expect, how to talk to the staff and suggest new features, dos, donts, and how-tos.

Pillowfort tutorials and stuff exist, and I'll link those in a bit, but I can not emphasize enough how important it is to find the right communities for you as a base line to start. So, have a list of the biggest Supernatural communities and a few not-huge-ones that may still tickle certain fancies.

Supernatural: show, cast, and ship positive

Destiel: Take a wild guess what the comm is for

ProfoundNet: The PB/Destiel server related, I dunno how much they upkeep it at a glance but everybody seems to stay in touch.

SupernaturalArtsAndFics - All ships, all cast, don’t be a dick is the rule there.

DeanWinchesterIsBisexual

And lo, though I hate promoting it I will be fair, there’s The_Wincest_Community and just “Wincest” - the members and content seems pretty identical.

There’s an SPN NSFW Art group too -

Castiel fangroup

SPN Multishippers group

SPN Reverse bang

SPN Fanart,

Destiel Fan Favorites Survey Community

Cockles

After here, groups keep getting smaller and are all like… 30 people or less, I’m stopping centralized listing at the 30-mark. And right now, small groups still have a chance to boom once more people migrate across. But this is where you can start to find MOST of your people at.

You can search the community feature for smaller, related communities. Hell, there’s a Drowley community with 7 members right now. A Sabriel , a Sastiel. Etc. There’s a bunch of fractal J2 hat groups that have like 3-10 people, one has like 20. Any time I try to search J2M I’m getting a nightmare deluge of unrelated results and freeze when I click to page 2 to find something relevant. The Team Free Will group looks young and may end up redundant on a feed, only time will tell. Actor based groups seem… smaller. There’s a J2 Fanart group, but not one for them independently. 17 members. There’s a misha group called Mishapocalypse . So that’s still needing to get built up over there all-around.

For what it’s worth, I tried to paste a few together:

Right now, Supernatural Meta has 19 members. You don't have to be a meta author to join.

Annnnd I just put together a “The Brothers - Sam and Dean”place to enjoy non-shippy talk, content and conversation about the brothers. Just forage up the rules and roll.

And I have a Bobo Appreciation club I just launched but the site is in lag-mode and I don’t have the will to find the link.

Disclaimer: I’m just going with the biggest groups I’ve seen. I have not personally investigated all of these. I can’t say I’m necessarily endorsing all of these as awesome places or whatever, but it’s a place to START on a new platform. And before I get a concern troll asking why I linked a Wincest group, whether we like it or not, Wincest is here. It’s not the biggest ship, it’s not the cleanest ship, it’s not the - whatever. I don’t agree with it, most of my followers don’t agree with it, but lots of fans are multishippers, are scattered abroad, and frankly… now is not the time to be separated bitching over our differences.

Now a short bit about what communities are GOOD FOR and why I endorse them so much.

See, when you join a community, you get subscribed to all posts going through that community, whether you follow the individual or not. If you fear a community will give content you don't want to see, blacklist the tag on the sidebar under Filters & Blacklist and, if someone just utterly fails to tag their trash you don't want to see, there's always the block function. If a community has more bad than good for you, maybe try to find another, or make your own. There's lots.

But that said, it helps us find each other and content while this platform is young. If you post, say, to the Supernatural group, several hundred people get your post blasted across their feed, presuming you aren't using a tag they blacklisted. It keeps feeds active and keeps us from climbing into holes we lose information in. And, frankly, gives even the smallest account a chance to be seen by the world.

Okay cool, you've found a few communities, there's posts on your feed, you know where to start chattering and finding people, so how does this work past THAT?

Well, first there's a few realistic messages from early beta users and devs about the platform worth reading.

A sort-of masterpost of tutorials and how-tos.

Where to find the beta community, make a wishlist of features to suggest to the devs, introduce yourself, find known issues, contact the staff, history, find other base cornerstone communities outside of fandom, tips, how-tos, you name it. REALLY USEFUL POST. MUST READ.

Realistic expectations for the client in beta.

How to jerry rig it to work as a mobile app with notifications.

In the area of visuals, if you're tired of the blue ... ocean that surrounds us while they refine their visual experiences, if you're on desktop, I made a series of SPN skins. Follow the instructions to install the skin of choice.

Sam Winchester - Vivid; Warm tones, mostly red

Rowena; Dark, black, violet, red.

Team Free Will - Dark; amber green blue slate

Sam & Dean - Earth tones, medium theme

Dean & Cas 1 - vivid; bright, blue/green

Dean & Cas 2 - dark, blue/green, slate, transparent side bar, feather head navbar.

The second Dean & Cas one is the most extensive. The first were quick generated slap-overs to get rid of the most persistent blinding elements, D&C2 I took it a few steps further. It’s lightly responsive with glows on link hovers, more image overlays tucked around quietly, wider use of gradients and color filled posts to match the theme, which the others don’t have. In time I’m going to see if I can start styling the divs themselves such as changing shape/align. Pretty sure I can. I’m weathered in the fires of RPH profile editing to make CSS do ridic stuff.

And yes, I take requests. I do it for free, right now at least. It’ll probably go obsolete. I don’t have a huge number of requests. So why not?

Keep in mind, there's some differences between pillowfort and tumblr, which most people are migrating from. Personally, I consider these HUGE improvements and steps forward once this place gets bigger. So let's do a breakdown, in complement to some of the resources I linked above.

So what makes Pillowfort so fucking special?

Okay, so check it out. On tumblr, we’re used to reblogging shit into the depths of the internet. As Pillowfort grows it, too, has that capability with some differences. The boldest difference is that when you reblog, your opinion doesn’t get attached to the end of the post. It just reblogs the base post. Some people initially complained and thought that was the loss of a feature but came to realize it’s a blessing.

You see, that means someone can’t kidnap your post with a shitty opinion to reblog it to their friends with a shitty opinion that all attach their heckling shitty opinions. Like, let’s say it’s someone that’s Destiel fandom reading this. Ever had an anti shit reblog your post and it run wild? Well, now, if they try to reblog it, all they reblog is… your Destiel post. Thanks for that.

So how do we actually say what we need to?

Well, fam, it incorporated elements from LJ/DW, in having threaded replies. Multiple threads if so needed. The threaded replies are capable of housing just about anything an OP has. So a blog post has, alongside Like/Reblog notifications, comments. Open the post, read the comments, start an actual conversation with some merit. Did some douchebag come to spam your comments since they can’t reblog? No problem, delete their shitty comments and block them, problem solved.

But it doesn’t end there.

Double back to the stuff about communities I bragged up, above. Notice what all that gives you. Realize you can blog into/out of/across different communities.

When you make your own communities you can have internal discussions or blog in/out posts, you can set rules, promote moderators, remove or ban problem users, and generally control the flow of your community to keep out shitlords. But, if for example, you subscribed to a community that turns out to be secretly run BY a shitlord because, IDK, maybe they don’t like that you think Sam is bi or something, most of these communities are large and blog in/out/engageable enough that you won’t lose your contacts, you WILL find your people over time, and you won’t be completely choked off to a singular abyss.

So the base beat is

PF treats every single post like any root post on an LJ/DW comm, but is able to be reblogged from/to communities or your own blog page as freely as tumblr. PF takes the best concepts of current and previous fandom platforms in its base application and lays a groundwork that literally all of us can prosper on if it survives and continues.

“I kinda like PF but it doesn’t have X feature-”

Okay look, PF is a smolbabe, like I said. It’s in beta. The thing is, they’re adding things every day. They have a dev list like 2 pages long for goals and things are getting crossed off and added like, biweekly. It might already be on their list to add. And if it’s not, guess what?

The staff actually give a shit and react to questions and concerns. There’s entire beta groups to talk about features with bugs, and/or features that should be added or adjusted. There’s a comm to talk directly to the staff about things. They're linked above in this post, and you can find them, leave what you want to see modified or added... boom! Help make this platform WHAT YOU WANT IT TO BE.

A small, young platform needs people willing to be out there saying what would improve the experience. You’re not just fandom pioneers, you’re social media pioneers if you so choose to be. It’s not mandatory. You can just fan in your space how you want. Or you can go to the beta groups and staff groups and tell them what you think would improve the experience. Keep in mind, tumblr didn't start with all the bells and whistles it ended up with. It didn't start with a bazillion users. But some people put their toes in the water while others jumped in, and others stayed back for years until all their friends changed pools.

Hopefully this answers most questions, concerns, and wants for people tripping into Pillowfort from the fandoms I attend right now. If anything still confuses you -- don't be shy about making USE of the powerful differences. Pop open this post, leave a comment, hold a conversation and I'll help how I can.

#supernatural #tumblr exodus #pillowfort

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jtmportland · 6 years

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This is a text post (posted as a text post)

My post about changes for Tumblr photographers seems to have struck a nerve. First, I should say I originally wrote that 3 weeks ago when I became aware of the change. A friend noticed one of my photos was formatted as text. He was also experiencing the same thing. It turns out that Tumblr hadn’t yet launched a wide-release of that update. This is why not everyone was experiencing it. Now, it appears to be in wide use.

Click below to read on, if you’re interested ...

Secondly, I should make it clear that everything I’ve written is based on a combination of speculation, a series of test posts done on a sideblog, and a couple of vague posts from Tumblr staff. So don’t take any of this as fact. It is notable, however, that the last post from Tumblr Staff describing the changes recently made to the mobile apps ended with this ominous threat: (Coming soon to the web!)

I’m still noticing inconsistent behaviour with photo posts, so engineers are no doubt tweaking things behind the curtains. There’s a possibility they will iron out some of our big concerns.

Or perhaps they have something else planned. We shall see.

I’ve been on Tumblr from the beginning. Initially it was used only as a place to direct friends and family to see my photos. I didn’t actually become active in the community until a few years ago. But this community is the very reason I’ve stayed. I’ve made many friends (both online and in real life) through Tumblr.

I have the attention span of a housefly, and I embrace change; it fuels me. So let’s consider Tumblr alternatives:

Flickr is showing some new life since Yahoo got rid of it and SmugMug picked it up. I deleted my account several years ago after the big password hack, but it’s worth checking out again (as is SmugMug for that matter).

I was quite active on Facebook for years until it all became very depressing and I decided to jump ship. I still have an (abandoned) account because it’s the favoured platform of my elderly parents... which speaks volumes.

I’ve been on Ello (@jtmportland) from the beginning. I actually quite like it, but it’s still a cold and lonely place.

Instagram is a no-go. As a Facebook product, it’s already on my blacklist. Yeah, I have an account so I can see silly pics from my friends and family, but I don’t post, and probably never will.

There was a whole lot of hype around Pillowfort, so I signed on as a beta tester last year. It was early on and there wasn’t much to see. Kind of reminded me of those old computer bulletin boards from the 80s. Or a dying shopping mall with shuttered storefronts and sad, empty benches. Maybe I’ll check it out again as more people move in, but it’s rather grim at the moment.

Or, I may just make another personal website to host my photos and then post links on Tumblr. It’s cheap and easy and allows me to remain active in the community.

Finally, if any of you are thinking of leaving Tumblr, and would like to archive your blog, there are several ways to do this. Just Google ‘download tumblr’ or something similar. I’ve used an application called ‘tumblone’, and it works well.

That’s it. Until further notice, I’ll continue posting photos on my 3 blogs. Also, I’m happy to be the newest member of the imiging team, and I’ll keep reblogging your amazing photos there.

Cheers!

#there really are much bigger problems in this world

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tadmean-aa · 6 years

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YEP, HERE WE ARE FOLKS

so. this is a post i didn’t want to write, but here we are. if you’ve followed me for a while you know i don’t like drama / public discourse, but i genuinely have no other choice. i’ve tried to handle this privately to no avail. and while i’d appreciate the word being spread about this person, you’re welcome to block this post or blacklist the tags. i’m not here to tell you who to interact with or start a fight. i’m not here to discouse this or argue. the facts are the facts, and the facts are that this user has stolen from me repeatedly, even after being asked to stop, and has taken credit for intellectual property and an interpretation largely inspired by coping with trauma. massive drama under the cut. sorry folks. i’ve tagged it as ‘long post //’ as well for mobile users.

tl;dr? @cvffeinequeen (whats good?) ripped me off majorly. it’s driving me nuts. tw for ic abuse mention.

on one hand, i thought about not writing this because it’s literally just tumblr roleplay. on the other, writing coco this way, this very specific way, has been a way to cope with my own similar struggles, and the last straw was seeing this person getting credit for their “creativity”, aka the things they blatantly ripped from me. to see someone being praised by unknowing people for taking a story that i crafted from my own hurt, a story that they’ve gutted and repurposed so they can roleplay with it instead of coming up with something of their own, was the absolute final straw. not to mention that if they’ve stolen from me and gotten away with it, it’s not unlikely they’ve taken from other sources as well. maybe someone else will come forward, idk.

if any of the screenshots or links below are not conclusive enough, feel free to come to me and i will try to get you better ones / answer your questions. this is a long post, but i’m not about to call someone out for the first (and hopefully last) time without bringing some hard ass motherfuckin proof. my old blog (tadmean.tumblr.com, or tadmean-a.tumblr.com if the first doesn't work) is available multiple times on the wayback machine if you need to check some of these for yourself.

for context, i found this user in the coco adel tag through an edit. i always like to see duplicates (it gets lonely being the only coco), so i clicked the url to see what their blog was like and maybe follow if they were cool with that. immediately, something stank. on closer inspection, i realized their bio was ripped directly from mine and reworded—examples below. bear in mind that they have changed their blog background color since then, which is why some of the caps dont match the current blog; it used to be this shade of red (?), now it’s a brownish pinkish color. the bio has also since changed, but i’ve included the three different versions. i sent these screenshots to a close friend the night i found this blog, as well as to another friend a couple days later / a week maybe? so that’s why some of these are discord screenshots.

BIO POSTS: ( pt 1 ) ( pt 2 ) ( pt 3 ) ( pt 4 ) ( pt 5 ) ( pt 6 ) ( pt 7 ) ( pt 8 ) ( pt 9 ) ( pt 10 ) ( pt 11 )

screenshots in hand, i instant messaged them and let them know i saw what they were doing. screenshots below:

DM CONVO: ( pt 1 ) ( pt 2 ) ( pt 3 ) ( pt 4 ) ( pt 5 ) ( pt 6 ) ( pt 7 ) ( pt 8 )

NEW BIO AT THE TIME: ( pt 1 ) ( pt 2 ) ( pt 3 ) ( pt 4 ) ( pt 5 ) ( pt 6 ) ( pt 7 ) ( pt 8 ) ( pt 9 )

BIO AS OF NOW ( 11 / 29 / 18 ): ( PT 1 ) ( PT 2 ) ( PT 3 ) ( PT 4 ) ( pt 5 ) ( pt 6 ) ( pt 7 ) ( pt 8 ) ( pt 9 )

past this, we just agreed to be mutuals and that, i thought, was the end of it. sure, the bio wasn’t all that changed, but they’d seemed to realize the error of their ways and i was naively optimistic.

from here, it temporarily got better. then got way worse. whether it was formatting ( x, x ) ( x, x ), ( x, x ) the names of tags ( x, x ), ( x, x ), personalized tags ( x, x ), musings posts ( x, x ) ( x, x ) (these being just a few), etc. this user has mimicked my blog to a T. but this is all just context. the thing that i’m here to talk about, however, are headcanons. i started writing coco as a way to cope with my own trauma/abuse & personality disorders; it started from the thought that if a strong character like coco can manage it all, then so can i. and it’s not like we have a whole lot of canon content for coco that might lead people to the same conclusion about her life—coco is a character that has maybe? 30 mins to an hour (being very generous) of overall content? the things i’ve written about coco is not stuff you can conclude from her canon material. period. she’s essentially an oc based on five seconds of material. if you have any doubts, remember that: coco has essentially no canon content or backstory. almost everything on my blog is a headcanon. that said:

LIST OF A FEW STOLEN HEADCANONS:

stole coco’s troubled home life as an heiress ( x ) and how she runs away later in v4 ( x ). this is the biggest one.

coco’s father has been the main antagonist of her story (way before weiss’s bg was revealed, or jacques was really even a character). this person has not only ripped off coco’s bad home life, but ripped off her father being the particular antagonist ( x , x ). they’ve also mentioned the similarity to weiss’ story but i can’t find the post. however, because this is ripped off, there’s no reasoning for why he’s the worse of coco’s parents. this is a common theme with this person: they take a headcanon and remove the fat from it so it’s not as recognizable. this also removes the context and reasoning for the headcanon.

ripped off small bits and pieces off my page: like coco barely sleeping ( x , x ), often getting detention ( x, x ) (something that’s not mentioned in their bio), sweet tooth ( x , x ), scars ( x, x )

coco’s full name being something she only gives to people she trusts ( x , x ) or people who would have it off her record, since it’s a reminder of her family.

oh, the best one! i posted a headcanon post specifically to literally see if they would take anything from it, and they did! blatantly! here (hair hc: x , x ) and here ( x , x, x , x). a link to my post: x and theirs: ( x, x )

in their bio, they write that these are headcanons they’ve been writing for years. well, funny enough, lots of the things they’ve taken are things i posted and started writing about years ago. so i guess in a way, that was honest. throwback thursday!

let me be clear: if you’ve interacted with this person, or if you didn’t notice, or you noticed but didn’t say anything, you’re not the bad guy. in these situations, the bad guy is the thief. period. i realize to some people this might seem silly, but i’m extremely sick & disabled and cannot work or really do much of anything; writing coco convincingly and making her relatable has essentially been my job, my sole motivation, for these past 3-4 years. i’ve poured hard work into this interpretation, only for someone to come along, butcher it, and claim it as their own. to you, it’s not a big deal, but to me? it’s years of work, stolen.

i hate to make this post. i hate serious posts, i hate drama, i hate anything that might discourage someone else writing for coco. i love duplicates! i’ve never had any issues before! but this person isn’t roleplaying as coco; if anything, they seem to be roleplaying as a version of my blog. which, not cool but also, creepy.

so, yeah. please dont send anon hate their way, this person is still a minor. but being a minor doesnt make theft okay! apparently we still needed that said out here in the rpc. thanks for reading guys, peace

#call out post //#long post //#theft //#callout post //#ok to reblog #ooc.#drama //#is it ? idk

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meetmeatthecoda · 6 years

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New Lizzington fic!!

Hey y’all! Here’s a new fic for ya! It’s a little plot bunny that bit me quite a while ago and something I’ve been working on piecemeal for like a week or two and I’m kinda excited to post it. It’s just kind of a drabble type thing where Red is being a complete sap and just totally in love with Lizzie. So, his natural state basically. LOL. Anyway, there’s kinda no plot, it’s just romantic and the tiniest bit angsty? But not really. Idk what to say about it really, I’m not selling this very well, it’s super late here, so I’m just gonna leave this below and hope you enjoy this somehow! It’ll be posted on FF.net and AO3 in a hot sec so look for it there if that’s your preferred reading platform! It’s called “Domestica” and any feedback would be incredible, like always! I love y’all! <333

“Do you want to come in?”

In a long day of pursuing one of the most disgusting criminals on his blacklist, a day fraught with peril and danger, now permeated with fatigue and hunger, this is the one instance that surprises him the most. Lizzie, standing in front of her apartment, facing him, dark circles under her eyes that he wants to kiss and caress until they disappear, asking him this question.

Red blinks in surprise, feeling the considerable difficulty with which he pries them open again. He feels as exhausted as she looks.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

The temptation is strong, as tired as he is, to accept her invitation, but prolonged contact between them, especially non-work related, has not been a good idea lately. Eventually one of them will jump from the relative safety of inane conversation to the unsteady ground of more sensitive topics. Tempers flare, patience is lost, and someone ends up yelling.

Usually her.

And after the long day they’ve had, running around in constant danger, Red worrying every second for her safety, he doesn’t think he can hold his own with her in an inevitable argument. He’s more likely to let something important slip or just give in completely and lay himself down at her feet.

And as much as that should bother him, he’s more worried about her. From the looks of her, he doesn’t think she has the energy to scream and yell and throw him out of her apartment like she usually does, and he doesn’t want her to collapse out of sheer exhaustion and frustration. She hasn’t been taking care of herself and he doesn’t want to her hurt herself even more on his account.

(The fact that everything bad in her life is all his fault anyway weighs heavily on his shoulders every moment of the day.)

But she’s still standing there, looking at him, and sighs exasperatedly.

“Red, come on,” she says on a heavy exhale. “I’ve been with you all day since half past eight this morning and I know I’m starving, which means you have to be too. It’s already quarter to ten so please just come in and have some food.”

And she turns around without waiting for him to protest or accept or splutter indignantly and strides right into her apartment, leaving the door wide open behind her.

All right then.

(And although this is surely an awful idea, bound to blow up in his face, he finds he can’t stop himself wanting to prolong his time with her at this late and vulnerable hour, and his hallmark trait of self-destructive curiosity propels him into the apartment after her.

What’s new?)

He shuts the door gently behind him, feeling a familiar sense of foreboding as the lock clicks. He takes a fortifying breath before turning around, trying in vain to prepare himself for whatever comes next.

(And he wonders why he’s trying.)

Red moves forward into the living room to peer around the partition and look into the kitchen, taking in the sight of Lizzie puttering around, moving from stove to fridge and back again, gathering ingredients for some kind of meal, before he blinks and his brain processes exactly what he’s seeing.

She’s different.

Lizzie has tossed her bag near one of her armchairs and shed her shoes not far from that. Red’s eyes trip down to her feet to see socks instead of shoes. It’s a simple thing, and it’s certainly not meant for him, but he becomes mesmerized by it anyway.

(The fact that he’s privy to the sight of Lizzie’s sock feet is a wild and exhilarating thought.)

Red’s eyes move back upwards as Lizzie’s hands catch his attention and he watches in breathless awe as she pulls a hair tie from her slacks pocket and quickly twists her hair up into a loose bun. The motion is so natural and graceful and like nothing he’s ever seen before that he just stares like an idiot.

(He loves her hair. Sometimes he wonders what it feels like.)

After a moment, Lizzie speaks without looking up, busy with something at the counter.

“Are you going to come and sit down?”

Red almost laughs out loud. Lizzie is asking all the difficult questions tonight it seems. The sheer absurdity of it all, the thought of being invited to sit at Lizzie’s kitchen island, awaiting a meal made by her, in her sock feet and a messy bun, no less, is…

Well, not what he expected from tonight.

He moves forward like a zombie, following her lead and shedding his coat, slinging it over the back of one of her tall kitchen chairs before perching gingerly on it.

“Is there anything I can help with?”

“Uh,” she thinks for a moment. “No, that’s okay. I’m making the one thing I’m pretty confident I won’t burn. Grilled cheese sound okay?”

Red cranes his head to look at what Lizzie is doing at the counter and sees her buttering bread smoothly and quickly, setting each piece aside as she finishes them. He notices a frying pan heating on one of the stove burners next to her as well as a pack of artisan cheese and a sliced tomato on the counter.

Red feels his stomach growl.

“That sounds just fine, Lizzie.”

He continues to watch her, his mind in a bit of a haze. It seems as though his vision is a little blurry around the edges of her, as if she is in the center of his focus, the most important part, and every little thing around her irrelevant in comparison.

(Well, he supposes that’s not wrong.)

Here, now, he relishes in the opportunity to watch her undisturbed, no third-party frowning at his unshakable focus, his disarming gaze as he looks at her how he prefers to. Even more rare is the chance to see her without any awkwardness permeating the air around them. She tends to get uncomfortable when he stares too long or too hard, as he is wont to do.

(He doesn’t blame her. He supposes that devotion is a little like headlights. Difficult to look at straight on.)

Right now, with her back to him, surely, she can feel him staring (and the thought makes him warm pleasantly) but he detects no trace of stiffness in the line of her shoulders and he certainly can’t see a frown on her face, none of her normal indications that he’s unnerving her. She must be too tired to pay him any mind tonight.

(What a rare gift this night is.)

Red’s gaze drifts down from her soft-looking bun, ghosting over the elegant line of her neck, to the fabric of her light blue blouse, such a gorgeous color with her skin, so unlike the drab black she has taken to wearing lately. Over her pale, freckled arms revealed by the short sleeves of her blouse to her delicate wrists, now bending this way and that as she picks up bread and places it gingerly on the frying pan. Across to her hands, long-fingered and able, wrestling briefly with the package of cheese before she manages to peel it open and pull a slice from inside, turning to add it on top of a piece of bread. To her face, now in profile to him as she stares at the half-made sandwich on the pan, waiting for the cheese to get warm, her brow slightly furrowed and her tongue absentmindedly running over her lips.

Tell-tale signs of impatience, for once not directed at him. She’s hungry. Red feels his lips turn up slightly at the corners, quite without his permission. He could watch her for hours. She’s fascinating.

(And beautiful.)

She moves again now, reaching for the plate of tomatoes and taking a slice gingerly in between her fingers before moving it quickly to the sandwich on the pan, then adding another piece of bread to the top with her other hand. But she’s not quite quick enough and he sees a few drops of tomato juice run down the side of her hand, leaving little paths in their wake.

This is a sight in itself but then his wide eyes follow as she quickly brings her hand up and swiftly licks the juice off her hand, apparently without a thought for his sanity, which is rapidly deserting him.

(How is he supposed to handle this?)

Her tongue appears again, this time just peeking out from between her lips as she picks up a spatula and holds it determinedly like a weapon, staring down at the sandwich sternly before placing her fingertips on the top to hold it still, slowly sliding the spatula under and then quickly flipping it over in a flash, a beautiful golden-brown color appearing as the uncooked side goes down.

And Lizzie’s little triumphant grin to herself almost has Red melting out of his seat like the cheese in the sandwiches, completely at her mercy, anything she wants, he’ll do with question, all she has to do is ask and –

“Red, can you pour drinks for me? Glass are in the upper left cabinet above the sink.”

That will do.

Red pulls himself together enough to stand from the island and move to the sink, reaching up for the two glasses, Lizzie successfully flipping more sandwiches as he does so. He pauses once the glasses are on the island, frowning to himself.

“Lizzie?”

“Hm?”

“What do you want to drink?”

He feels a thrill at the simple question, immediately berating himself for his stupid reaction. What should such a basic question be exciting to him?

(Because it’s something intimate to ask, something people who eat together ask, something people who care about each other ask.

Something new.)

“Milk, please. There should be a half gallon in the fridge.”

Red blinks at her answer, taken aback.

“Milk?”

“Yeah,” Lizzie says simply, moving past him in a sudden rush to get plates from the cabinet next to the one with the glasses. “I always drink milk with comfort food like this.”

It’s this little fact that punches him in the gut, this little tidbit about Lizzie that he would have no way of knowing otherwise, if she didn’t choose to tell him about it while making them grilled cheese sandwiches in her apartment at ten o’clock on a Wednesday night.

(He wonders how much more of this he can take.)

“I think I have some wine in there too, if you’d prefer.”

Her suggestion pulls Red from his moment of awe-induced silence.

“No, no, milk is just fine.”

Fine, fine. Everything is ‘just fine’ tonight. The kind of ‘just fine’ that a shooting star is on a dark night or a rainbow on a sunny day. ‘Just fine’ mixed with a little wonder and beauty and stunning.

(He thinks he feels himself quickly approaching some sort of invisible limit.)

Red pours milk in both of their glasses and sets them on either side of the island, just in time for Lizzie to whirl around and set two plates down, each with two sandwiches, perfectly cooked, complete with gooey cheese and ripe tomato.

“Ta da.”

She says it with just a touch of derision, fatigue bleeding back into her voice as she sits down to eat.

“They look delicious, Lizzie.”

He says it warmly, sincerely, because they do, his mouth is watering just looking at them and he wants her to know how much he appreciates this, this amazing gift she’s giving him tonight.

The sandwiches and everything else.

She murmurs her thanks at his praise without looking at him and he takes the cue to sit as they both dig in. Too hungry to talk or communicate, they just eat, companionably in comfortable silence, together.

(Together.)

He can’t help but occasionally glance up at her in between bites, just cautious little looks that she doesn’t seem to notice. Her eyes remain trained on her sandwiches, disappearing quickly from her plate, in between swigs of milk at regular intervals. She only gets up once to get them both napkins, handing him his without a word. He keeps up with her, matching her almost bite for bite so they’ll be finished at the same time, not wanting to outstay his tenuous, magical welcome.

As they start on their second sandwiches, he sees her eyes begin to droop a little, looking heavier than they did before. The sight makes his own eyes ache and his him hurting in other places for her, like his heart and soul.

(He’s much too soft tonight.)

Once they’re both finished, Lizzie takes their plates and glasses without a word and places them in the sink. Red is about to protest, tell her he’ll take care of the washing, but she turns and leaves them there, presumably too tired to bother with it tonight. She leans on the sink and faces him instead.

“Thank you for dinner, Lizzie,” he murmurs to her. He’s feeling warm and fuzzy now, sleepy as well as the exhausted he was already, two completely different sensations muddling his mind.

“You’re welcome.”

He gazes at her, his own eyes drooping a little. She’s so pretty, leaning there, looking at him, soft and open. He’s all kinds of tired now and he can’t wait to just lay his head down somewhere and close his eyes, he really can’t –

“Do you want to stay?”

And there it is, there’s the line he was quickly approaching. He knows without a doubt that that’s the most he can take tonight without something happening that shouldn’t right now and it’s time for him to leave.

(It’s rather like he’s just finished an indulgently rich piece of cake, chocolate and delicious, and someone just came and set another one down in front of him. He can’t take any more without getting sick from the sheer joy of it.)

Lizzie seems to see the panic in his eyes.

“The couch,” she hurries to clarify unnecessarily. He never assumed she meant anything else. “The couch is really nice, and I have some spare pillows and blankets, you could –”

“No, thank you, Lizzie.”

It’s best to cut her off, she’s struggling to make sense with her words, and him, well, the images she’s conjuring in his mind are just too incredible to handle and yes, it’s time for him to go.

He gets up, takes his coat, and heads for the door and she follows wordlessly, seeing him out, even though she clearly wants nothing more than to turn down the back hallway and go to sleep. That makes him happy.

(She cares tonight, at least a little.)

The reach the door and he opens it before turning around the take her in. This night has been incandescent in its domestic way and he’ll be thinking about it for days, analyzing all the little idiosyncrasies he observed from Lizzie tonight, letting it all sink in slowly, too much to absorb in one short night.

“Good night, Red.”

Lizzie is standing in the doorway, watching him, and he feels odd leaving her there because he’ll probably see her again tomorrow but things will be different. Maybe not for her but that’s not unusual.

(He’s used to being the only one invested in this. It’s a cross he bears.)

They’ll see each other again tomorrow and they’ll be rested and alert and back on the defensive and the softness from tonight will have disappeared with the light of day. When the sun rises, so will their normal states of being, the Red and Liz they are with one another, and she will poke and prod and pick until he has to snap because he only wants to protect her, even if she doesn’t understand. Tomorrow, things will be different and tonight will probably never happen again.

“Good night, Lizzie.”

Tomorrow, they’ll start again.

#The Blacklist #Lizzington #mine #fanfic #domestica #casually dropping a new 7 page fic at 4am #LOL #i hope you guys can maybe like this #:D #let me know what you think i literally live for comments #:)#much love everybody!!!#<3

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