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anoradraws · 4 days
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List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers 💖
Guzma, Dragons, Heavy Metal music, Drawing, Pokémon
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anoradraws · 4 days
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List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers
Guzma, Dragons, Heavy Metal music, Drawing, Pokémon
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anoradraws · 8 days
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Okay, this made my day!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
A math teacher, a gym teacher, and an art teacher die and arrive in heaven at the same time.
God tells them that heaven is full and they will have to trick the devil to be let in. God calls the devil and the devil comes in and introduces himself.
The math teacher tries first and gives him a hard equation. The devil solves it in 10 seconds and the teacher is sent to hell.
The gym teacher asks him to do 1,000 push-ups in a row without stopping. The devil does it without stopping and the gym teacher is sent to hell.
The art teacher then says, “Give me a chair with 7 holes carved in it.” The devil hands him the chair. The art teacher sits down on it and farts. He asks the devil, “What hole did the fart come out of?” The devil replies, “Easy, the third one.” The art teacher then says, “No, my asshole.” And then makes his way to heaven.
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anoradraws · 8 days
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Lost in the Fire
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anoradraws · 8 days
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Me whenever I'm around people...
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anoradraws · 9 days
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So, Niantic has released this avatar update in Pokémon GO, which I've been playing since May 2019...
Here's my original girl:
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And here's the update:
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Now my girl's pasty white like glue, looks like she's constipated, and she has NO FEMININE FRAME, which is the ONLY thing I'm disappointed about!! Niantic took away the whole female body for some reason, and this is the result of what they think normal BIOLOGICAL WOMEN like me should look like!!!
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I mean-- seriously!! Where's my HIPS?!? Where's my BOOBS?!? WHERE'S MY ASS?!?!?
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anoradraws · 10 days
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idk what traumatized or mentally ill person needs to hear this but dreams (especially the really disturbing ones you dont want to talk about to anybody) arent some deep peek into your psyche or a sign of your True Desires or whatever theyre quite literally your brain making fruit salad with whatever it can find on the shelf. just putting all that shit in a blender and hitting obliterate. its fine, youre fine, youre not a weirdo for it
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anoradraws · 12 days
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NO PEDOS OF ANY KIND ARE ALLOWD ON EARTH IN GENERAL!!!
Reblog if you are not a pedophile.
If everyone doesn’t reblog this, I’m unfollowing all of you.
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anoradraws · 16 days
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Why do I feel this is the kind of shirt Guzma would wear?
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anoradraws · 18 days
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fuecoco for your feed
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anoradraws · 18 days
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For those of you who weren’t able to get 100% of the total solar eclipse today… I gotchu <3
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anoradraws · 19 days
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Accurate depiction of the solar eclipse I saw at my end of the world!
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anoradraws · 19 days
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Halloween Bulbasaur Figure made by LV99DOGE
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anoradraws · 19 days
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anoradraws · 20 days
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I was about 7 years old when I first saw this; still one of my favorites!
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17) National Lampoon’s Animal House
“Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor!? Hell no!”
“Germans?”
“Forget it, he’s rolling.”
Release Date: July 28th, 1978
Dir.: John Landis
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anoradraws · 20 days
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Brother from Another Series
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anoradraws · 20 days
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Who the Hell makes a burrito like that???
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Have you ever been to earth?
On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:
You’re an idiot.
Let me further explain:
Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.
Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.
When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.
And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:
Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.
Nope.
My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.
You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.
And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.
What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.
I just want a burrito.
In conclusion:
You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.
UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:
A fucking fork?
I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.
If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.
That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.
Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.
A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.
People eat burritos with forks?
God is sorry he made us.
(Source)
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