comeoutalive

[comeoutalive]

Being the parent friend is a lot of things- sometimes it's telling your children that you're proud of them, sometimes it's coaxing them out of a trash can.

And sometimes it's reminding yourself that you don't need to make them lunch because they are full-grown adults & they know how to feed themselves well enough. They already know jelly is easier to spread with a fork, stop coddling them!

#my thougts #no filter #my brain #thoughts

[comeoutalive]

Ok, I have a stupid question for the people of Tumblr-

Well, I always have stupid questions for the people of Tumblr, it's just that most of them don't make it into a post... let me rephrase-

This is one of the few times I'm going to care about the opinions of people on the internet, so if you feel strongly about apples c'mere a second kiddo.

How do y'all eat your apples? Like if you just plucked an apple out of the void or whatever & ate it, how would you eat it?

I eat my apples from the top, logic being that the first bite of an apple is the best, & the top is (generally) the largest part of an apple, so you bite the top first to get a big best bite of the apple.

Idk how to make polls on Tumblr yet, so bear with me & comment. How do you eat apples & why? Bonus question, if you don't like eating just plain apples: how do you consume apples? With peanut butter? In pie? In juice? Tell me about it, because I'm curious & I'm asking you.

#my thougts #no filter #my brain #thoughts #3 am shenanigans #3am things #3 am rambles #3 am nonsense

[comeoutalive]

Me: No, Brain, we don't need another breakup song. We don't need it. We're in a healthy relationship & it's okay! We're not frogs in a slowly boiling pot-

Brain: *slowly reaches for our music*

Me: *slowly reaches for the spray bottle*

Brain: *skips to the part right after the breakup & plays Love After You by Madds Buckley*

Me: *puts down the spray bottle & facepalms.* This is still unhealthy, just in a different font-

Brain: You said no breakup songs! This isn't a breakup song- I'm following the rules! & we can both agree this is a bop.

Me: *nods admittedly* If you call twisting the knife in your heart a bop, then sure, yea-

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Side tangent: if anyone reading this *hasn't* heard Madds Buckley's music, I'd highly recommend it- it's beautiful stuff.

Probably be prepared to hurt, though I wouldn't be able to tell you in what way 'cause there's ✨️variety✨️

I started with Brother, but honestly- I just handed you an uncapped Sharpie and pointed out the walls were empty. What you draw is up to you.

#my thougts #no filter #my brain #thoughts #3 am shenanigans #3am things #neurodivergent #neurospicy #3 am rambles #3 am nonsense #music #madds buckley #depression

[comeoutalive]

You don't have to be close to someone to love them. You don't have to stay and/or be near them at all. Frankly, you're not obligated to love them either, but for those of us who still do-

You can love someone from a distance. As far as you would like- possibly on the other side of borders, maybe even on the other side of healthy boundaries if you're feelin' frisky. With a gas mask on, in case of fumes. And any other personal protective equipment necessary.

That's on protecting your peace of mind. Possibly your peace of person. Do what you must.

#my thougts #my brain #no filter #thoughts #3 am shenanigans #3am things #3 am rambles #3 am nonsense #neurodivergent #neurospicy #mental illness #ptsd #complex ptsd #mental health #positive mental attitude

[comeoutalive]

My brain: THAT'S IT! WE ARE CEASING ALL HUMAN FUNCTION FROM THIS POINT ON- FUCK EVERYTHING, *ESPECIALLY THE IMPORTANT SHIT-*

Me: Hey, what if- instead of having a fucking aneurysm- we took a shower?

My brain: .... do we get to use the shampoo & conditioner that are separate?

Me: if it gets you to shut the fuck up, absolutely buddy- go wild.

#my thougts #no filter #my brain #thoughts #neurodivergent #neurospicy #anxitey #generalized anxiety disorder #depressing shit #depression #executive dysfunction

[comeoutalive]

Me, drinking an energy drink late at night to complete my grave shift chores, wondering why I'm anxious so many more square liters per yard.

I'm so ready to go home. 😂

#my thougts #no filter #my brain #thoughts #3 am shenanigans #3am things #3 am rambles #neurodivergent #neurospicy #3 am nonsense #anxitey #generalized anxiety disorder

[comeoutalive]

My brain: Do you crumble Oreos into your pudding because of your sensory issues with squishy food, or just to fight the impulse to eat dirt?

Me: Why not both? 😆 It's definitely the sensory issues, though. The dirt here isn't nutritious enough.

#my thougts #no filter #my brain #thoughts #3 am shenanigans #3am things #3 am rambles #neurodivergent #neurospicy #3 am nonsense

[comeoutalive]

Me: *remembers that one time when I was little & I said to my uncle that I was gonna find myself a partner online like my aunt did*

Him: You're gonna have your boyfriend shipped to you in the mail?

Little me: *is confused 'cause I know most humans (sadly) don't fit in a cardboard box*

My brain, referring to said USPS partner: He really said some assembly required-

Me: 👀

#my thougts #no filter #my brain #thoughts #neurodivergent #neurospicy #taking things too literally #i can fix him #i just gotta build him first.

[comeoutalive]

Y'know what?

I must have a hell of a lot of rizz to out-flirt Death. They've let me love this long, anyway.

It doesn't work on mortals, but it's still pretty cool.

#my thougts #no filter #my brain #thoughts

[comeoutalive]

What is it about my brain that ruins certain things for me? Not necessarily 'cause it wants to. It's just really good at it.

I was minding my own business, eating my Mac n' Cheese at 4 a.m. (like everyone normal does, of course), but today I decided to use a plastic fork rather than a metal fork 'cause I loathe doing dishes.

& my Mac n' Cheese tasted... wrong. There wasn't anything wrong with the Mac n' Cheese. It just tasted different & to my autistic mouth, it was wrong. For a split second, I couldn't figure it out - what was wrong with my food - until I figured it out.

It tasted like Williamsburg.

The last time I had microwave Mac n' Cheese with a plastic fork was in Williamsburg a year ago after my family & I came back from the pool.

Can I eat Mac n' Cheese at literally any other time? Plastic fork or not? Sure, but it's gonna taste like Williamsburg.

What if I don't wanna eat Williamsburg Mac n' Cheese?

Suck it up, buttercup, both your wallet & your social anxiety will hurt you if you try to return this food & purchase something new.

Smh, y'all. This is what I'm doing at this age. 😅

#my thougts #no filter #3 am shenanigans #my brain #thoughts #3am things #3 am rambles #3 am nonsense #neurodivergent #neurospicy #autism #actually autistic #safe food #social anxiety

[comeoutalive]

Y'know what? No. We're done having intrusive thoughts the like!

The next time my brain tells me to walk into oncoming traffic or it decides to make me feel insignificant I'm just gonna say "Oh shit, it bit me," slap my wrist like I have a mosquito, & move on.

I'd say to take a taste of your own medicine, but meds help you get better & I don’t know about everyone else, but walking into oncoming traffic has never really made me feel better.

#my thougts #no filter #3 am shenanigans #my brain #thoughts #3am things #3 am rambles #3 am nonsense #neurodivergent #neurospicy #intrusive thoughts #intrusive thinking

[comeoutalive]

I want to make a webtoon so bad-

Not just any webtoon, but specifically a webtoon about a bunch of personified mental health disorders who adopted a human, & they try to take care of it without killing it.

I already have headcanons: Depression has a more maternal vibe (though the perceived gender of any of the characters is irrelevant to the plot) & she would summon everyone out & say "Who forgot to feed the human today?" Everyone would immediately look at ADHD, but they actually remembered. No one knows it, but it was OCD who "forgot" 'cause there wasn't an even number of apple slices or something.

I don't have the time or tech skills to create a webtoon, but I think that this would be beautiful.

#my thougts #no filter #3 am shenanigans #my brain #thoughts #3am things #3 am rambles #3 am nonsense #neurodivergent #neurospicy #mental health #mental illness #adhd #adhd problems #adhd brain #adhd things #actually ocd #ocd #ocd things #webtoon

[comeoutalive]

Me: *fights with my brain all day for whatever it is that makes me stay awake-*

Me a few hours later: *I wasn't kidding, I mean literally all day.*

My brain when I finally try to wind down and go to bed: Hey, hey, pssst- hey- you should do a handstand. And maybe some cartwheels. Wanna see if you can do a backflip? Right now. Why not? Let's do this thing!!!

Me: First of all- since when do I know how to do *any* of those things, and second of all- stfu!! Am gonna sleep!!

Brain: *is grumpy for the rest of the time it takes me to go to sleep, & then doesn't give me wake-up chemicals tomorrow.*

Me: & so the cycle continues.

#my thougts #no filter #my brain #thoughts #3 am shenanigans #3am things #3 am nonsense #neurodivergent #neurospicy

[comeoutalive]

Y'see, I do want to be clothed- I like having clothes, and being withheld from the sight of the general public while I have them on.

That said, I don't want the clothes to *touch* me. The fabric can not be on my skin. It feels like *texture* and it burns us. It is unnerving in the most irksome way.

I want to be covered and clothed, but I don't wanna touch things.

Does that make any sense?

#my thougts #no filter #my brain #thoughts #neurodivergent #neurodiverse stuff #neurospicy #neurodiversity

[comeoutalive]

I have a love-hate relationship with my silent rave crisis cleaning parties.

I love them 'cause I can finally clean my space in a way that's mostly beneficial for me & not get judged for it, & then reap the benefits of a cleansed space.

I hate them 'cause it usually means pulling an all-nighter, only being able to clean in bursts & having to keep myself awake during breaks, & having to try my best to not wake any of my roommates up.

But the way I cope with this is I remind myself that at the end of the day (or beginning, depending on whether or not it's before or after midnight), it gets something done, & that means something.

Anyone else have this?

#my thougts #no filter #3 am shenanigans #3am things #my brain #thoughts #neurospicy #neurodiversity #neurodivergent #neurodiverse stuff

[comeoutalive]

Hyperfixation is great and all, but I raise you *hyperdestruction.* 👀

That moment where one second you were unsupervised in the spoon factory, & the next you are left alone in a pile of ash & you have no idea who you are or how you got to where you are.

Don't'cha just hate it when that happens? I liked that spoon factory- 😮‍💨🥄

#my thougts #my brain #no braincells #no filter

[comeoutalive]

On today's episode of my brain, this happened:

"Eating the rich isn't cannibalism when you're poor!"

It's gonna be interesting to see how that holds up in court. 😅

#my thougts #my brain #no braincells #no filter