houserproblem

[houserproblem]

The gamble

[houserproblem]

“Fuhuhuhu! That’s right fools, worship me!”

I love her already.

I am REALLY PUMPED for this arc okay

[houserproblem]

Maw the Thylacine “Monologue”

You want to know why they call me 'Maw'? It's not my real name, I'll tell you that much. But as for how I got it, it's quite simple, really. When Dr. Robotnik began drafting the blueprints for my cybernetics, he ran into a bit of a snag when it came time to install his - at the time - latest creation: the Quantum Rift Generator, or QRG. He originally wanted to put it in my chest or stomach, but that would've required replacing every organ in my torso, and even then, the device would've interfered with any artificial replacements.

Eventually, the good doctor found that the best place to put it would be my mouth, as it was far enough from to keep from disrupting the rest of my implants and would required the least amount of surgery. Granted, he still had to remove and replace my entire lower jaw and most the contents of my neck, including my tongue, most of my esophagus, and vocal chords - which is why my voice has this reverb effect -; but, I digress.

The point is, they call me 'Maw' the Thylacine because I have a miniature particle accelerator that can open quantum singularities built into my 'maw'.

What's a quantum singularity, you ask? Well, to quote a certain lowbrow, giant robot television program from about 20-some odd years ago (as of this conversation), 'it's like a black hole, only portable and with a cooler name'. I trust you know how black holes work?

No? Well then, perfect time to learn. As they say in east Yurashia...itadakimasu.

*opens his mouth and uses the QRG*

Ahhh...Gochisousamadeshita.

Ah yes! I almost forgot:

The following was a fan-based monologue by WindstarOsprey. Maw the Thylacine (that’s me) is owned by SEGA, Archie Comics, and Ian Flynn. Please, support the official release and all official materials. If you don’t...YOU'LL get to learn how a quantum singularity works.

Also, if you enjoyed this and wish to see more, you should go see WindstarOsprey’s deviantART gallery. He’s apparently working on an alternate universe webcomic starring that insufferable calamari Abyss’ old protege, Razor the Shark, and is looking for feedback on his ideas. He also wrote a short piece about the squid attempting to be a parent to him and his sister (those poor children).

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some important, highly experimental work to complete. That Archie-verse Metal Virus isn’t going to test itself.

#sonic #sonic the hedgehog #archie #archie sonic #archie comics #sega #maw the thylacine #maw #character study #monologue #egg boss

[houserproblem]

Sonic Shorts: Bath Night (Comic Script) (Promo)

A sample of a humorous comic script I posted on deviantART.

Premise: Pirate Captain Abyss the Squid tries to get her mouthy, young apprentices - Razor and Blade - to take a bath. Hilarity ensues.

NOTE: Due to Blade's age never being revealed, my head-canon is that she's 4-5 years older than Razor.

Page 1

Panel 1

The Setting Dawn Pirate Armada - Abyss the Squid's Ship - ~8 years ago. Front view of Abyss looking commanding.

1  ABYSS: Alright brats, listen up!

2 CAPTION: Abyss the Squid - Calamari Captain

Panel 2

Abyss paces like an army general as Razor (age ~7) and Blade (age ~11) watch. Razor is curious as to what she's talking about, while Blade rests her chin on her hand, looking bored and annoyed.

1 ABYSS: As I’m sure you’re aware, today is Thursday. Do you know what that means?

2 CAPTION: Razor & Blade, the Shark Siblings - Apprentice Pirates

Panel 3

Razor raises his hand enthusiastically, a thought bubble with a hardtack biscuit floating next to him. Abyss just gives him a look.

1 RAZOR: Ooh! Is it extra biscuit night?

2 ABYSS: That’s tomorrow Razor.

Panel 4

Razor lowers his hand, looking nervous. Abyss smiles knowingly.

1 RAZOR: I-It's time to clean the bilge?

2 ABYSS: Close, but not quite.

Panel 5

Blade smirks at Abyss, earning her a snicker from Razor and a scowl from the squid.

1 BLADE: It’s time for you to get a facial for your wrinkles?

2 ABYSS: Eat barnacles, Blade.

3 RAZOR: Snrkt!

Panel 6

Abyss gestures to the side as Blade and Razor watch, wondering what she's going to show them.

1 ABYSS: No, It means tonight...

Page 2

SPLASH PAGE

Front view of Abyss standing aside and gesturing dramatically, revealing Mr. Bristles and Shellbreaker standing under next to a fairly large washtub filled with warm, soapy water - complete with a little toy pirate ship floating in it. A spotlight is shining down on them.

1 ABYSS: Is Bath Night!

2 CREDITS

[WindstarOsprey: Writer.

-: Pecils.

-: Inks.

-: Colors.

-: Cover.

Based on the characters by SEGA, Archie, and Ian Flynn.

Please, support the official release and all official materials.]

Page 3

Panel 1

Razor and Blade slump over in disappointment, causing Abyss to yell at them.

1 RAZOR & BLADE: Awwwwwwgh!

2 ABYSS: Don't 'Awwwwwwgh' me! You two haven't had a bath in three weeks! Now get in the tub!

Panel 2

Razor pleads with Abyss, who just folds her arms and gives him a flat look. Blade irritably argues with her.

1 RAZOR: But Captaaaain, we don’t wanna take a bath! It takes foreverrrr!

2 ABYSS: Only because you two keep whining about it.

3 BLADE: Can’t we just jump in the ocean or something?

Panel 3

Mr. Bristles scratches his head, earning him an irritable glare from Abyss as she looks over her shoulder at him. Shellbreaker raises an eyebrow at what she just said.

1 MR. BRISTLES: The lass has a point Cap’n. Why can't they just do that?

2 CAPTION: Mr. Bristles - Yeti Crab Quartermaster

3 ABYSS: Because this place smells fishy enough already! We don't need smelly shnorkies on top of all that.

4 SHELLBREAKER: 'Shnorkies'?

5 CAPTION: Shellbreaker - 'Otterly' Devious First Mate

Panel 4

Same shot as above, only Abyss, Mr. Bristles, and Shellbreaker have wide-eyed, shocked expressions ( 0_0 ) .

1 BLADE (off-panel): Doubt anyone can smell anything over stinky, old squid lady!

Panel 5

Razor and Blade snicker at the latter's jab.

1 RAZOR: Heh heh heh! Peeeeeeyew!

Panel 6

Razor and Blade are startled by one of Abyss' tentacle smashing a nearby crate.

1 SFX: SMASH!

2 RAZOR & BLADE: Gaah!

Page 4

Panel 1

Front view of Abyss standing menacingly over Razor and Blade, her tentacles moving as though they were possessed. The siblings are shivering and sweating in fear.

1 ABYSS: I'm sorry dear...but did you just call me a stinky, old squid lady?

Panel 2

Blade swallows nervously, but keeps her cool, while Razor clings to his sister and trembles fearfully. Blade elbows Razor's side, snapping him out of it.

1 BLADE: Ulp...

2 RAZOR: Ahh...ahh...ahh...

Panel 3

Blade turns to Razor and elbows him in the side.

1 SFX: BUMP!

2 RAZOR: Ow!

Panel 4

Razor rubs his elbow as he turns to Blade, who gives him a serious look. Razor looks at his sister in understanding.

No dialogue.

Page 5

Panel 1

Razor and Blade make googie faces. Blade pulls down one of her eyelids, opens her mouth wide, and sticks her tongue out, while Razor crosses his eyes, wiggles his hands, and blows a raspberry.

1 BLADE: Yeah! What are you gonna do about it, stinky, old, squid lady? Throw us in the washing machine with your stinky, squid laundry?

2 RAZOR: Pbbbbt!

Panel 2

Close-up of Abyss staring darkly. Razor and Blade can be seen reflected in her eyes. The siblings are laughing.

1 RAZOR & BLADE: Haaaahahahahahahaa!

Panel 3

Same shot as above, but Abyss' eyes widen in realization as she gets an idea, while Razor and Blade look at her in confusion.

1 SFX: DING!

Panel 4

Same shot as above, but Abyss is now smiling wickedly, while Razor and Blade look at her nervously.

No dialogue.

Page 6

Panel 1

Abyss turns to Mr. Bristles and Shellbreaker, who promptly stand up straight and salute.

1 ABYSS: Shellbreaker! Bristles!

2 SHELLBREAKER & MR. BRISTLES: Yes, Cap'n?

3 ABYSS: Bring out...

Panel 2

Extreme close-up of Abyss' eyes. Part of her evil smile can be seen.

1 ABYSS: The Tank!

Panel 3

Shellbreaker smiles evilly, while Bristles looks nervous.

1 SHELLBREAKER: Ohhhhohohohoho! Yes, ma'am!

2 BRISTLES: Arrrrgh...

Panel 4

Shellbreaker and Bristles head off to the next room, respectively rubbing his hands together eagerly and shaking his head in resignation. Abyss smiles in satisfaction as Razor and Blade watch nervously.

1 BRISTLES: I was afraid you were gonna say that.

2 BLADE: Wait, what are you...?

Panel 5

Suddenly, Abyss restrains Razor and Blade with her tentacles. Abyss is smiling wickedly as she wiggles her fingers in malicious excitement.

1 RAZOR & BLADE: Gah!

2 ABYSS: Fuhuhuhuhuhuuu...

To see what happens next, click here!

#sonic #sonic the hedgehog #archie sonic #abyss #abyss the squid #razor #razor the shark #blade #blade the shark #mr. bristles #mr. bristles the yeti crab #shellbreaker #shellbreaker otter #pirates #pirates of the setting dawn #funny #humor #bath #silly #sega #archie #archie comics #ian flynn #comic

[houserproblem]

Honestly, the faces just really sell it. Abyss looks like he’s trying to hit on Pizza Guy here (I couldn’t find his name) and the poor dude’s not sure how to respond.

A:”Sooooo...you like ukiyo-e?”

PG:”Uki-whaty?”

A:”You know, those old, woodblock prints from the east?”

PG:”Uhhhh...yeah? They’re really neat.”

A:”You got any favorites?”

PG:”Not really. You?

A:”The Dream of the Fisherman's Wife. You know, the one with the woman and the octopus?”

PG:”Ohh...yeah, that one. it’s pretty famous, isn’t it?”

A:”It is. Though personally, I prefer the rule 63 version.”

PG:”I...don’t think there is a rule 63 version.”

A:”Really?”

(Abyss smirks.)

A:”Wanna make one?”

PG:” 0//_//0 Oh dear...”

A:”Fuhuhuhuhuhuhu....”

Good luck Pizza Guy, you’re gonna need it.

Art of my OC with Egg Boss Abyss the Squid. ^~^

COMM - RobotnikHolmes by AwesomeBlossomPossum

#abyss the squid #sonic #archie #repost #art #robotnikholmescomicblog #reblog #funny #interpretation #script #archie sonic

[houserproblem]

Jingle Bells (Christmas With The Joker Edition)

Based on the song from Batman: The Animated Series.

JOKER: Jingle bells, Batman smells Robin laid an egg The Batmobile lost a wheel And the Joker got a-waaaaay!

JOKER: Crashing through the roof In a one-horse open tree Busting out I go, Laughing all the WHEEEE! Sounds of gunshots ring As coppers shoot me down But they still can’t catch ol’ Gotham’s Favorite psychopathic clown! 

Oh, jingle bells, Batman smells Robin laid an egg The Batmobile lost a wheel And the Joker got away Jingle bells, Batman smells Joker’s running loose I’ve nabbed Commissioner Gordon and I’m going to cook his goose! 

[speaking part]

(Joker arrives at his hideout, where his henchmen: Harley Quinn, Bob the Goon, and Gaggy are waiting.)

JOKER: “Harley! I’m home!” 

HARLEY: “Puddin’!” 

BOB: “Heya boss!” 

GAGGY: “Merry Christmas, Mr. Joker!” 

JOKER: “Alright, alright settle down! Settle down! Now is everything ready for the big night?” 

HARLEY (hands Joker a Santa coat, hat, and beard): “We’re all set, Mistah J!”

JOKER (takes the costume and starts putting it on): “Excellent! Go start up the sleigh! Bob, start the camera! Gaggy…!”

 (Gaggy smiles eagerly as he waits for his orders.)

 JOKER: “Go…get me some egg nog.”

 GAGGY (salutes): “Yes sir, Mr. Joker!”

 (Gaggy runs off as Harley brings in a Santa chair).)

 HARLEY: “Don’t forget yer chair puddin’!”

JOKER: “Ah, yes of course!”

BOB: “We’re live in five, Boss!”

JOKER (sits in the chair): “Alright then! A-A-Ahem…”

 [end speaking part]

JOKER: Good evening, girls and boys And all your dads and moms Joker’s bringing you some toys And each one has a bomb! So unless our dear Dark Knight And his helpers stop my sleigh We’ll go “POP POP POP!” like chestnuts In the fire this Christmas Day!

Oh, jingle bells, Batman smells Robin laid an egg Nightwing is a circus freak And Batgirl does ballet Jingle bells, Batman smells Spoiler laid an egg Red Hood’s cracked, Batwoman’s wack And Bluebird’s…

HARLEY: “Mistah J!”

[speaking part]

JOKER: “Harley!? I thought I told you to start the sleigh, you--!”

HARLEY: “The sleigh’s junked puddin’!”

JOKER: “What!? How!?”

HARLEY: “I dunno! I took my eyes off it fer a sec, and when I turned around, the thrusters were blown!”

JOKER: “What!? How am I supposed to deliver presents without a sleigh!? Uuugh…nevermind! Come on, we’ll use the truck!”

(Harley is suddenly ‘bat-ambushed’.)

HARLEY: “Mmph!”

JOKER: “Harley? Where are you!?”

BOB: “Boss! Over there, it’s…mmph!”

(Bob gets ‘bat-ambushed’.)

JOKER: “What is it Bob? Bob!?”

(Joker realizes he’s alone.)

JOKER: “Harley? Bob? Anyone? Where’d you…? *bumps into someone* Oomph! Hey, watch where you’re gooooo—!"

(The Joker realizes he’s just bumped into Batman, the rest of the Bat-Family flanking him, with some restraining Harley and Bob. Batman’s leitmotif from the animated series plays.)

JOKER: “Batman!?” 

POW!

JOKER: “Ooomph!” 

(Joker falls to the ground as Batman slowly approaches him.)

JOKER: “But how…how did you find me?”

BATMAN: “Your singing.”

NIGHTWING: “We could hear you all the way from Crime Alley.”

ROBIN (DAMIAN): “Unfortunately.”

JOKER: “Guuuuuh…”

GAGGY: “Mister Joker!”

(Gaggy enters.)

GAGGY: “I’m back! Is it time to deliver the presents ye…?”

(Gaggy sees the Bat-Family standing over his defeated gang.)

GAGGY: “Ehhhh…Egg nog?” 

[end speaking part. Scene transitions to the Joker’s cell in Arkham.)

JOKER: So here I am again In my nice and cushy room Bound in straightjacket and chains My plan shot to squadoo! It will take at least a week To attempt my next escape Maybe I should just give up this feud With the man in cowl and cape … … … NAH!

Jingle bells, Batman smells He doesn’t get the joke! So I’ll keep coming back until I make him laugh or croak! Jingle bells, Batman smells I’ve more tricks up my sleeve! ‘Til then, goodbye! But don’t you cry, I’ll be back on New Year’s Eve! 

HAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

Ugh…Merry Christmas

#batman #christmas #merry christmas #dc comics #dc #jingle bells #jingle bells batman smells #parody #lyrics #song #carol #funny #humor #batman tas #paul dini #bruce timm

[houserproblem]

Kamen Rider Ex-Aid Opening

Thought I’d try my hand at writing my own English lyrics to one of my favorite Kamen Rider openings. Let me know what you think.

If you wish to do a cover using them, go ahead. Just be sure to credit me (lyrics by houserproblem).

Original Lyrics

My Lyrics:

EXCITE

(I gotta believe...) I don't wanna know, real life is too demanding I don't wanna know, I’m better off not understanding Why? Why? Why? Why? Now I know that I’ve come too far Can’t stop this sick and eerie feeling something is coming The new beginning Future’s uncertain, things are getting bleaker, but I know I gotta believe! (Turn it on!)

I’m so... EXCITE! EXCITE! My heart’s dancing EXCITE! EXCITE! Take a chance and Ride with me where no one’s been to, We’ll clear this game using no continues (Hey!) I'm on a mission right now (Hey!) I'm on a mission right now EXCITE! EXCITE! What’s the answer EXCITE! EXCITE! Here’s my answer (1) I hold within my hands (2) This single precious life (3) That I have sworn to live

#kamen rider #kamen rider ex aid #EXCITE #opening #fan lyrics #translation #dub #toei #heisei #tokusatsu #music #song #opening theme #theme song #doctor rider #ex aid #brave #snipe #lazer #poppy #gemn #para dx #fuuma #kamen rider chronicle

[houserproblem]

A note about tails.

[houserproblem]

from this post

mario is luigi’s number one fan

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that’s a good wisdom

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David Ambarzumjan on Instagram

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Blood Moon Lamb

[houserproblem]

I got this Celestial/Cosmic Kindred commission that actually took me a bit to figure out. Lamb is supposed to be a Comet and Wolf is supposed to be a Nebula~

(Commission me here!)

[houserproblem]

Rune Dancer Kindred (??? hours // Krita only) One of (hopefully) 5 skin concepts in this line, one for each of my league friends and myself. Apologies for the long span of quiet from this account! Rough start to my summer.

[houserproblem]

Reverse Kindred Skin For League

I found this awesome fanart of a "Reverse Kindred" skin. Everyone, please post and share this on every social media site so Riot can make this real!

Artwork by Igliang.

Lore blurb by Me.

“Though they‘ve been together for eons, like any group, Lamb and Wolf have their quarrels and differences. As such, the two have been known to walk a mile in each other's shoes from time to time, switching roles to better understand and appreciate the other.

Today marks the beginning of their latest switch. How will Runeterra react to the sight of this strange ‘reversed Kindred’?”

#league of legends #kindred #fanart #deviantart #petition #skin #riot games

[houserproblem]

Castlevania: Moonlight Rhapsody Thoughts

I’ve been looking into Konami and Shenqu’s new mobile title, Castlevania: Moonlight Rhapsody. At first, I thought this was going to just be another dumb gacha game meant to cater to nostalgia and just rehash old storylines.

While it does appear to have some mobile game trappings such as a mission/quest based progression structure, random dropped equipment designed to be upgraded via fusion and farming, and playable characters locked behind a paywall, it also looks like much more thought was put into it.

For starters, the gameplay looks to be a proper Metroidvania, as it has a large, continuous map instead of being broken up into levels. The map will likely start off fairly small at first, with new areas being added in updates, but it’s still there.

Second, there are only 8-10 characters so far. Normally, mobile games are all about earning new characters via random gacha-style summoning. But because of the smaller character pool and the fact that said characters can wield a variety of weapon types from the gameplay footage I’ve seen, the random/lootbox element may come from the collectible equipment instead.

Finally, the graphics and art style are gorgeous. I’m not ashamed to admit that I actually have a soft spot for the anime art style used in Dawn of Sorrow and Portrait of Ruin. It detracted from the dark, gothic setting, but it wasn’t horrible. Moonlight Rhapsody blends elements from the Kojima artwork, DS-era anime style, and even the Netflix series to create a style that blends the best of each.

What really sold me on the artwork is how they got around China’s strict rules on the depiction of the dead. Long story short, games aren’t allowed to depict dead bodies or gore. Gore I can understand, but the dead bodies part means that they can’t use any skeleton enemies. So they replaced the skeleton enemies with armor knights, vampire soldiers, or werebeasts with similar attack patterns and weaponry, while Death was given an admitedly impressive redesign. My favorite example was what they did with one of the playable characters.

One of the planned playable characters is a warlock named Vincent. While Vincent’s gameplay hasn’t been released yet, his opening animation when you highlight him on the character select screen has him doing a punching combo, followed by summoning a creature similar to the winged skeleton enemy (those flying skeletons with spears), except its made of crystal fragments. I thought that was pretty clever and a cool (if unintentional) shout-out to Castelvania’s spiritual successor series Bloodstained.

Granted, there are parts of the game I’m not particularly fond of. I’m on the fence in regards to the new characters, as they come off as generic, demon hunter anime archetypes (there’s a guy who is literally the priest from Dungeon Fighter Online with a different haircut and outfit). I’m especially unimpressed with Elvis - the new dhampir protagonist -, due to his name and that he seems to be a rehash of Alucard with Richter’s color palette.

But despite it’s flaws, I’m looking forward to seeing what Moonlight Rhapsody brings to the Castlevania universe. Canon or not, I wish Konami and Shenqu the best of luck and hope that the game does well.

If you’re interested in checking out yourselves, here are some links to get you started:

Moonlight Rhapsody’s page on the Castlevana Wiki. (Includes links to some YouTube videos of the game).

Mike Fringe’s YouTube Channel. He does a playthrough of the game. Just search for the videos and you’ll find them in no time.

#castlevania #castlevania moonlight rhapsody #konami #shenqu #mobile game

[houserproblem]

I love this.

a friend requested mega falinks! I saw the two bug moves it learns by level-up and thought right away that they needed to be bug-themed tokusatsu heroes 👀