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noe-way-dude · 3 years

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As a trans guy, I am privileged.

But not because I am a boy. Because I was not raised as one.

I was raised as a girl, because my parents (and I) thought I was one. Because of this, I was raised similarly to any other girl (though my parents are a bit strange). I learned about periods and sex and I learned to shout "fire" instead of "help". I was taught ways to survive in the world, as a girl. And these will be useful to me, they certainly will.

But one thing that I was never taught was to "man up". That "boys don't cry". Because, in their eyes, I was not a boy, so I was allowed my feelings. My parents would never have told me that. They didn't tell my cisgender brother that. But the world would have. I would have been treated differently in school (though maybe not that differently, I am autistic, after all). I might have been friends with Davix, a trans guy in my second grade class who seemed to hate me. I might have been one of the boys in my class who, in this world, bullied me relentlessly. I might have never learned as much as I have about queer people. I might have never learned that I am queer.

Had I been raised a boy, I would have been taught toxic masculinity. It is impossible to avoid, even if your parents are good.

I wrote an essay this year about nature vs. nurture and why it's the wrong question. The nature of humans is to be curious, and the nurture given isn't always good, no matter the connotations of the word. Children are nurtured by their parents, their siblings, their friends, their teachers, and their environments.

And perceived boys and perceived girls are nurtured differently. Boys learn that they aren't allowed feelings, girls learn that they don't have bodily autonomy. Even if your parents don't teach that, you will learn it at some point throughout your childhood, likely through school (though perhaps not actual teaching).

Even as a trans man, I cannot escape vestigial toxic masculinity. My dysphoria likes to act up when I cry, or feel any strong emotion. But, I am privileged to have not been raised a boy, because I do not have the full brunt of this force.

I am also privileged to be a boy, of course I know this. If I change my gender marker, I know I will get certain privileges.

And of course, I am not privileged to be trans. I know that, of course. As a trans person, I am seen as lesser. As a trans man, I will be heckled in the men's bathroom, and I don't belong in the women's, nor am I wanted there. As a trans man, if I change my gender marker, I will not be sent information about certain medical procedures that I need to have, having a vagina and breasts. As a trans man, if I talk about potentially not medically transitioning, people question if I truly am a man. As a trans man, I am told that I am betraying womanhood, even if I was never a woman in the first place. As a trans man, I see posts and hear people saying "all men are trash", "...and that is why you should never trust a man", "bi women, I'm so sorry about your attraction to men", "mlm, get better soon", and "being bi is hating your attraction to men".

I am not privileged to be a trans man. I am privileged to be a trans man.

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noe-way-dude · 3 years

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In need of nonbinary individuals for a brief online study!

Hi all! As part of my honours thesis, I am in need of volunteers who identify with a nonbinary gender identity to take part in an online survey about microaggressions and well-being. As a participant, you would be asked to complete questionnaires about microaggressions, anxiety, and perceived stress. Participation is expected to take only about 10 minutes, and you will have the chance to enter a draw for a $50 (CDN) Amazon gift card!

To participate, please click on the link or share the link with anyone who you think may qualify:

https://www.surveymonkey.ca/r/N69N63Q

Thank you so much in advance! :)

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noe-way-dude · 3 years

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YOU hates terfs

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noe-way-dude · 3 years

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i wish people would realize that, no matter how cathartic it may feel in the moment, acting like testosterone is Literal Poison will do nothing but harm in the long run

no matter how much you personally hated having testosterone in your body, demonizing a hormone can’t take away whatever pain you’ve experienced, but it can and will do actual harm

demonizing testosterone...

legitimizes efforts to restrict access to masculinizing HRT for people who need it, which can be detrimental to someone’s quality of life if not fatal

contributes to the idea that anyone who’s ever had high levels of testosterone (especially those who aren’t cis men) is inherently ugly and unlovable because of the hormone’s effects

contributes to the fetishization of transmascs who haven’t been on testosterone

legitimizes using words like “mutilation” to describe medical transition

please don’t add fuel to that fire

testosterone can be life-saving

testosterone can bring the smile back to someone’s face and the life back into their eyes

testosterone can restore someone’s ability to speak up without fear of what might happen if they’re heard

testosterone can make someone’s body their own again

testosterone can be a second chance

it’s not a poison, it isn’t inherently evil or life-ruining, and for some people, it’s absolutely essential to their happiness and survival

i can’t stop you from expressing your feelings about your experiences in whatever way you want, but really, why do you want to express them in a way that could just push more pain onto someone else?

i would never say that “estrogen is poison” despite how some of its effects have caused me to suffer - there are better ways to vent than demonizing a literal chemical, especially one some people couldn’t live without

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noe-way-dude · 3 years

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This is difficult to discuss, but I’m bringing it here because it is Pride month, and it urgently needs to be discussed.

I’ve been life-threateningly discriminated against and abused by the medical profession again, for being LGBTQ… and this time is beyond unforgivable: it was from cisgender heterosexual medical staff of an LGBTQ primary care clinic.

We need more LGBTQ people in the medical profession. People are suffering because bigoted people are abusing others at what is supposed to be our safe havens, just because they get cushy 9-5 hours with a long lunch and are never on call- which is a rare treat in medicine. Most LGBTQ clinics don’t even have medical doctors on staff, just RNs.

So… what happened?

If you’ve been reading my blog, you recall that I have been battling my body collapsing under severe multiple allergies and uncontrolled asthma from it. I was hospitalized in December almost dead with pneumonia, and was abused by doctors and nurses for being Transmasculine/Genderqueer. After 5 days of hell, I was thrown to the curb while still on oxygen and unrecovered, and discovered that the doctors had falsified my hospitalization records to try to block me from getting aid or being able to sue. I was given a prescription for 2 weeks worth of asthma meds, and told that I’d better find a sliding scale clinic immediately or I’d die.…so I found a little local LGBTQ primary care clinic, in hopes of being treated well.

I found one all right, but unbiased treatment… that’s a whole different matter.

The day that they opened after the New Year holiday closure, I got the ball rolling with one of their care organizers to go telemed for my prescriptions. After 3 weeks of their financial department not doing jack, and being forced cold turkey off my steroid preventative inhaler (that’s potentially lethal, and very painful), she bypassed the financial department and got me an appointment. I was also promised to get assistance finding a safe apartment for my medical condition, to stabilize me. (The problems I’ve been having are environmental allergies from my housing- second hand smoke, pot, and all the odor sponge and cleaning chemicals they use to try to cover it in a clearly posted no smoking designated building.)

The RN I was assigned for telemed was older generation cisgender het and very bigoted against LGBTQ, particularly Transgendered people. I was mown over and unable to inform her of my condition, ignored, and treated like an LGBTQ stereotype addict trying to get high on asthma inhalers and lying about having asthma. I was spoken down to and yelled at as stupid and insane. She changed my prescription to different meds, and barked at me that if she thinks that I’m abusing any of it, she will have me force hospitalized against my will.

It was hell, but at least I was going to get my medication finally- I was slipping back into pneumonia, asthma out of control, and bed bound.

…she reported me to their mental health department for “faking asthma” during the call, delusional about the abuse in the hospital and subsequently suing them, and generally “nuts”, to put me into mental health care.

The asthma and allergy meds arrived at the end of January… and I ended up going into anaphylactic shock from them. Allergic. When I reported it to the RN, I was dismissed and ignored. She refused to reply when I begged her for the meds I’m supposed to be on. She refused to return my voicemail calls.

2 weeks go by, and I am hospitalized again, for lack of my maintenance meds and asthma out of control. Thousands of dollars in bills.

After weeks of trying to get their financial department to work out my sliding scale fees, talking to a few of their staff multiple times just to get it done, they finally set it up.

I accepted the therapist care too, since I’m dealing with stress from the hospital discrimination lawsuit and my decline in health. It didn’t matter why they had been called, my mental state is self evident. Who would turn down the opportunity to work with a therapist at sliding scale fees?

By this time it was already mid March.

Finally I get notified that the RN wants to do another appointment about my asthma meds. We telemed, and I discover that she is under the belief that I was back on the meds that I had gone anaphylactic from, that I was just unstable and ignoring me would force me back onto them. She starts up verbally again at me. Less than 5 minutes into the appointment, I calmly tell her that she will no longer be my health care provider, goodbye. She calls and calls, leaving abusive voicemails, misgendering me and speaking to me like I was a petulant child having a tantrum behind a locked door. Pick up your phone, now. Pick up your phone.

She gets to her supervisor before I do, the only other medical care provider on staff- another RN, much younger. She was swayed by the lies to cover her ass for malpractice and abuse, and the supervisor too tried to convince me that I was delusional and paranoid, speaking down to me as a simple minded child, and that the meds I was prescribed were “absolutely safe, regularly prescribed for small children” and take them anyway, that I was imagining that I was allergic to them!

I reported them both. Eventually the supervisor promised that she would apply for subsidized meds with the manufacturer of the meds I was supposed to be on (it’s super expensive at $500/month supply) and to keep quiet and wait until it arrives.

…but she didn’t apply for it. My health continues to decline. My body starts broadband rejecting most food as allergens, intense cross reactions in similar plant families/proteins, and lesser food allergies go through the roof. Pneumonia.

I run out of albuterol rescue inhaler, and the prescription is empty. The pharmacy sends word to her to renew my prescription. She ignores it. After a week and still no word, I call the clinic’s medical department, and they hand the phone over to a young Black man putting on a big, booming voice to intimidate me, and he orders me to “stop calling for my asthma maintenance meds, that I’ve been explicitly ordered not to, and I’m harassing them”. He refused for several minutes to listen that though I was still desperately needing my maintenance meds, I was calling about my rescue inhaler that only has 2 days left. He eventually, begrudgingly, said that he would look into it.

…she didn’t renew the prescription, and went to the unrelated pharmacy next door and gossiped about me at length behind my back with the staff there, violating my medical privacy. (How do I know this? She actually told me she did so.) Eventually she had one inhaler sent. I reported her to administration. She calls back finally, and says that she is surprised to have just discovered that nobody has applied for my asthma medication at all, and will do so at once, and to not contact them again, that it “will take months for the manufacturer to respond, be patient.”

A few more weeks go by. No word. Pneumonia.

I got fed up with the games that were risking my life, and called the manufacturer that informed me that the form was incorrectly filled out and submitted, and they were waiting for the clinic to call them back, which never happened, so it was stuck in processing. They also told me that it only takes 5-7 DAYS to get the meds into my hands once they receive a properly filled out form.

I called the RN, and she speaks down to me like a child and called me a liar, that she “is going to call the manufacturer and get the truth!” … then violates my patient privacy again, handing out unnecessary private information to be put on record with the manufacturer. I find out when they call me the next day to inform me that my forms and shipping address had been altered.

The maintenance meds arrive at the end of April, as I’m near death with pneumonia and can’t afford another hospitalization. There’s a hitch: she passive aggressively screwed up the prescription and I only got 25% of the supply I needed for a standard dose. Writing in to complain about it gets me dismissed and cloying words that this RN knows so much more about my meds and condition than any emergency room worker… though I was prescribed it by pulmonary wing specialists when I was in the hospital back in December, and both the paper insert in the meds and the manufacturer themselves tell me over the phone that it’s not the correct dosage or usage instructions. The RN is also listed on it as a Doctor.

The RN calls, and tells me that I should be happy- she’s hard at work applying for a year’s supply of my meds from the manufacturer, but don’t call or contact her or anyone at all, these things take time.

Upon finally starting the maintenance meds, I instantly get a life threatening sinus infection for weeks that travels all the way through my ear, jaws, neck, and shoulder, side effects of the meds. I try to get help, but they ignore me. I go anaphylactic from an allergic reaction to something else while being infected, and collapse unconscious while trying to get assistance from the pharmacy since the clinic won’t listen. I almost died again.

I report her again, and the clinic sends in that mental health counselor again to do damage control. She dismisses me with everything, and tried to convince me that I was delusional and insane, imagining it all. (How do I imagine a massive pile of physical and digital evidence, and over 3 years of negative Google reviews from multiple people experiencing the same neglect and abuse?) She manipulates further, telling me thet I’ve been “terribly uncooperative” and tries to point to non-existent “issues” and “mental issues”, that my 21 year long romantic relationship is imaginary, and demands to know what I talk about when I was in therapy, if I talk about the crap going on from the medical department, and demanding to know if I was skipping any appointments and to not stop, not for anything. I tell her this isn’t appropriate treatment, and I was leaving the clinic and seeking another health care provider. She got outraged and yelled at me until I capitulated to not leave (only because my situation is so dire and I’m traumatized, browbeaten). She then promises to get the ball rolling on helping to find a reasonably priced safe apartment for my medical needs, but to not call or contact anyone else, to give her time to work on it.

You can see where this is headed.

After a week of feeling violated and psychologically raped, in tears, and pinned into a corner of silence at the risk of not getting safe housing or the meds that I need to stay alive, I cancel my therapist appointment. I feel very uncomfortable with working with someone who has set up practice in such non-ethical surroundings. The receptionist giggles and happily cancels it for me.

Silence. No word. Another week goes by. In continued physical agony from infection, emotionally traumatized from the counselor unethically abusing with her degree.

…and then I get a letter from their administration telling me that I was no longer their patient and to cease and desist all forms of contact. Yes, she manipulated me into not leaving so she could be the one to end contact, get the last word in, to be in control.

I then get a voicemail from the pharmacy next door, asking me to call but no message. I return the call, and am told that I am not welcome as a customer there anymore, banned… and they’re not even the same company or same ownership. I was slandered to an outside business from the RN again, and my medical privacy violated.

So now I’m stranded with a very tiny supply of the meds that I can’t live without that are potentially lethal to drop cold turkey too, dangerously infected, no health care provider and no insurance, needing an LGBTQ safe provider immediately, cut off from the therapist that I was working with, traumatized, praying for god to let me die already, and living on LGBTQ emergency crisis hotlines to deal with the trauma as I struggle through legal jargon and reliving the abuse to file malpractice complaints with the state medical licensing department.

…all because I simply needed my asthma meds prescription renewed while daring to be Transgender.

As we face another Pride month, I ask you to remember that what I am experiencing is not occurring in a vacuum: I am not the only one being discriminated against by medical professionals playing god with who can be treated properly as a human being, who can live, and who can die.

Our fight against stereotyping, homophobia, and hate is not over.

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noe-way-dude · 3 years

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Day 9: The 20s and The Harlem Age

A/N: Thank you so so much to everybody who has been patient! I'm much better now, and will try to get up to date as soon as possible. Unfortunately, as tumblr is deleting my progress and I wish to be as quick as possible, I will no longer be doing the bolding feature (although image descriptions will stay, if they stop malfunctioning).

Ah, the 20s. The time of flapper girls, of sexual liberation, and of post-war economy boons.

And, incidentally, the time when queer people became more and more aware of other queer peoples' existences.

During WW1, blue discharges were given to soldiers who were thought to have "committed homosexual acts" (as in the time homosexuality, or homophilia as it was commonly referred to, was considered an action and not an identity). Dis-proportionally, queer men of color received this mark of shame.

Having a blue discharge meant that you couldn't receive veteran benefits, that jobs were much harder for you to find, and that you were alienated by your neighbors. On top of this, if someone could prove that you were queer you could be sent to a mental institution or conversion camp, where your psyche would be absolutely wrecked.

Ironically, this alienating mark helped queer people find each other and build a community. Although queer parties full of cross-dressing people had already been held by the rich for several decades, this was the era when they became more and more popular and common, especially in underground bars called Harlem Clubs. This is commonly believed to be the start of drag shows and gay bars.

"Coming out" referred to the first night a queer person spent in a crowd of their own people, and is a term still used today for people who tell others that they're queer.

Across the Atlantic in Germany, great changes were being (temporarily) made.

[Image Description: A line of text saying "A group of trans activists in 1921", under which is a photo of a vintage newspaper. Inside that photo, there is a photo of four beautiful trans people: a trans man on the very left and three trans women to his right. They are all dressed in classic conservative 1920s attire. Under that photo is a newspaper caption saying the following: Transvestites in front of the Institute of Sexual Science during the First International Congress for Sex Reform on the Basis of Sexology, 1921. Photograph by Willy Romer. Bildarchiv Preubischer Kuturbesitz. End ID]

In these years, the term transsexual was coined and the first trans healthcare was created.

One German immigrant by the name of Henry Gerber played an incredible role in the (however small) progression queer rights made throughout this era. After living through hell in a mental institution for queer men and discovering a flowering queer culture in Berlin, he founded The Society For Human Rights (x) which, although exclusionary to bisexual/multisexual people, was quite a step forward.

Among other queer figures of the era are:

[Image Description: A black and white photo of Alan L. Hart. He is a white man wearing a grey suit with a white undershirt and black tie. He has glasses and his hair is gelled back in the typical 1920s fashion. He is holding a pipe up to his lips. End ID]

Alan L. Hart: the first trans man to make a fully recorded transition and the doctor who started the practice of using x-rays to find tuberculosis.

[Image Description: A black and white photo of William Haines. He is a white man with his hair slicked back in the typical 1920s fashion. He is wearing a black suit with a white undershirt and a spotted tie. He is smiling somewhat smugly at the camera. End ID]

William Haines: a highly popular actor who was fairly open about his relationship with Jimmy Shields and starred in many blockbuster hits.

[Image Description: A black and white picture of Gladys Bentley, a fat black woman, who is dressed in a stunning white suit and top hat. She is leaning on a decorative cane and smiling brilliantly, as if sharing an inside joke. End ID]

Gladys Bentley: a lesbian cross dresser who sang and performed in many a Harlem Club.

Click on this link for more examples of LGBTQ+ icons of the era!

(x, x, x)

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noe-way-dude · 3 years

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i hate to post again but we’re still in need :/ i still have $0 to my name

for context, i’m a disabled 21 y/o and i babysit my siblings (ages 3, 9, 11) every day. my mom works every day to pay bills, but she missed a week of work and that set us back a lot.

right now, we’re in need of a lot of daily necessities (groceries, hygiene stuff, etc.) and some cold medicine bc my brother, sister and i are sick and we all feel like absolute garbage :/

anything helps, even just $1 or a reblog <3 tysm

p*ypal: [email protected]

c*shapp: $wintersoulja

v*nmo: leafybb

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noe-way-dude · 3 years

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Successful trans men

I wish I knew about men like these growing up, I wish I knew that trans men could be successful after a lifetime of never seeing anyone ‘like me’ excelling in life. So here are some trans men - some that you may have heard of, some that you may not - that are successful in a range of careers. Never let being trans hold you back, never think you can’t do something, never think there is not a place for you.

Ben Barres American neurobiologist for Stanford University and advocate for women in science. Barre’s research on the interactions between glial cells and neurons changed the way that we understand the brain and opened up a whole new field of research.

Stephen Whittle Professor of equalities law. Founder of FTM Network in 1989 and Press for Change in 1992. Whittle has been heavily involved in trans activism since joining the Self Help Association for Transsexuals in 1979. His research and activism has been instrumental in ensuring the rights of trans people in the UK.

Michael D Cohen Actor, teacher and coach. Making his break in award-winning Nickelodeon sitcoms Harvey Danger and Danger Force he was the first series regular actor to publicly come out as transgender. Cohen has a BSc in cell biology and a masters degree in adult education, teaching at his own acting studio and providing workshops.

Chris Mosier American triathlete and award-winning coach. Six time member of Team USA in both duathlon and triathlon, Mosier also won two national championships in racewalking and was the first transgender athlete to qualify for the Olympic trials to compete against other members of his gender.

Yance Ford African-American film producer and director. Ford received an Emmy for Exceptional Merit in Documentary Filmmaking and was nominated for an Oscar for his part in producing and directing the documentary Strong Island which follows the death of his brother.

Kael McKenzie Canadian judge. Serving in the Canadian Armed Forces for several years, McKenzie later attended law school and and worked as a lawyer before being appointed as a judge to the Provincial Court of Manitoba in 2015.

Shane Ortega Native American former flight engineer in the US army, former marine and professional bodybuilder. Throughout his career Ortega has served in Iraq and Afghanistan in over 400 combat missions. He has a long history of advocating for the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell and the recent banning on transgender service members in the US army.

Drago Renteria Chicano photojournalist and deaf and LGBT activist. Renteria founded the Deaf Queer Resource and is CEO of DeafVision - a webhosting and development company run by deaf people and the founder of the National Deaf LGBTQ Archives. Renteria has been instrumental in both creating and hosting many online deaf/queer spaces online along with being heavily involved in real-world activism for decades.

Phillipe Cunningham Elected city councillor for ward 4 Minneapolis and previous special education teacher, Cunningham holds a masters degrees in Organizational Leadership & Civic Engagement and in Police Administration and is passionate about tacking inequalities in his community.

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