normalcycorner

[normalcycorner]

Čas bosanskog jezika u petom razredu osnovne

10/01/2020

Čudno je kad pomislim na 2008. godinu. To je bilo prije 12 godina. U zadnjih 5 godina nemam dobar pojam o prolaženju vremena. Borim se još s nekim stvarima. Izgleda su i hemijske u toj kategoriji. Je li ovo ispit iz strpljenja?

Ako jest, mislim da mi dobro ide. Neobičan događaj koji mi pokazuje koliko sam napredovala, i to baš u onom smjeru u kojem sam najviše i htjela.

Na ispit uvijek nosim tri ili četiri hemijske baš zbog ovoga.

Nisam sigurna je li mi se rukopis pogoršao. Znam lijepo pisati, ali nema smisla. Vidim to kao samo gubljenje vremena. 

Nije da ga inače dobro uvijek trošim, ali ga sigurno neću trošiti na savršeno okrugla slova i ravne linije.

Jebi se, Mevlija. Uvijek sam ti to htjela reći, ali zbog manira nisam.

#bosanski #književnost #citati #život #citat #škola #quotes #reflection #meditacije #rukopis #cursive #pisana slova #mevlija #the devil

[normalcycorner]

Kroasani i kokteli

Nedostaju mi čokoladni kroasani iz merkatora i ledene kafe iz meka. Želim opet uzeti slušalice, ponijeti knjigu i šetati pored rijeke dok ne dođem do onog svog mjesta na obali. Želim tu sjesti i čitati dok me dupe ne zaboli od betona. Želim prošetati do centra i diviti se svojim najdražim zgradama. Nedostaje mi tivoli dok sunce zalazi. Nedostaje mi čak i onaj glupi miris iz milera od kojeg me je uvijek boljela glava. Želim čuti note onog lika koji svaki dan svira harmoniku na tromostju, želim pokisnuti na prešernu iako ne pada kiša. Hoću da gledam onog momka dok pravi balone i nasmijava djecu. Jedu mi se nudli iz voka i piju mi se bezalkoholni kokteli iz zvezde. Nedostaje mi moj grad i sunce što ga obasjava.

A najviše od svega mi nedostaješ ti.

#ljubav #nedostajanje #love #quotes #citati #ljubavni citati #missing you #it has been so long since I've seen you

[normalcycorner]

Found my soulmate in a McDonald’s

I've never been a fan of coffee. Sure, it smells nice, but the taste is comparable to dirt dissolved in water. You may ask yourself how do I know what that tastes like. Well, when I was a kid I used to do many experiments. The little scientist in me wanted to know if things which looked like chocolate tasted like it too. And I liked chocolate milk very much, so, naturally, I mixed dirt with a glass of water and, surprisingly, it tasted like dirt mixed with water. That day I vowed not to drink anything similar to my concoction again.

As I grew up, I kept that promise. Until I started college and realized I can't survive on 5 hours of sleep per night. So, I broke my childhood vow and began drinking coffee almost daily, and the funniest thing happened. No, I didn't develop a taste for it – it STILL tasted horrible to me. But this time I wasn't giving up so easily. I needed caffeine so I was determined to find a kind that would be okay-tasting to me. So I searched and searched, and by that I mean I went to a bunch of cafes and tried a bunch of different coffees. I was slowly starting to lose all hope, when one day a friend invited me to go and get her favorite coffee.

It was a Sunday sometime mid-July and we got off work at 3 p.m. It was scorching hot outside, so I was very excited when she mentioned we would be drinking ice-coffee. She ordered for me and we took our drinks to-go. Finding a shady spot by the river, we sat down and I took my first sip. It was silky smooth, creamy and refreshing at the same time. I had finally found my coffee!

I recreated the recipe at home and now I drink it almost daily. Sometimes, as I sit on my balcony and drink my morning cup, I think of that little scientist and her vow and imagine her looking at me, disappointed by my beverage of choice. But she grew up and learned to adapt, and to be a little less judgmental. I hope she would be proud of herself.

#coffee #mcdonalds #summer #memories #sunday #july #morning #college

[normalcycorner]

time isn't linear, and still it does move forward. it creates loops, though, and sometimes you just go backwards without really wanting to. during a year you'll see the coldness of winter, followed by the first rays of sun that carry spring with them. you'll feel the heat and burn of summer die down in the sweet sharpness of autumn, carrying you back into the cold embrace of december. another year passes by, and winter is here again so the loops continue.

[normalcycorner]

April showers?

You can see the Alps from my balcony. It's the beginning of April and they're still feathered with white, just as the spring wind is still feathered with the icy bite of the remnants of winter. This year it took a particularly long time to say goodbye, fighting tooth and frosty nail to hold on and postpone the inevitable arrival of spring. Just as I was beginning to think another birthday would be spent wishing for the sun to appear, the clouds cleared and it shone down to thaw everything frozen below. The days are getting longer again, and daydreaming about impossible scenarios seems inevitable. Getting lost in those is dangerous, but what else am I to do while drinking my morning coffee?

#love #dreams #spring #writing #quotes #life quotes #life #coffee #morning #alps #flowers #winter #hope

[normalcycorner]

Coming to terms with who I am

It was hard to accept myself and my own beliefs. My whole life I've struggled with religion, with all the unanswered questions it left me with. The more I researched, the more I doubted and the deeper I fell. However, I've started forgiving myself more and letting myself just be who I am, and not who I think I should be, or who other people want and expect me to be. My fear of the truth almost consumed me, but beyond fear I was met with peace. The peace of accepting myself outside the confines of any societal expectations.

One of the things I used to be most afraid of was the concept of right and wrong. I was taught good existed only as a consequence of believing and following rules. What a truly bleak thought: that people were good only out of fear of a higher being. It gives basically no credit to us for distinguishing good from bad. What a despicable world this would be if humans were incapable of doing good just for the sake of it being done.

Another bone I have to pick with organised religion is guilt. It is ever-present, in every rule, guide, holy book. Feeling guilty about doing things that cause no harm to anyone. You looked at someone with lust? You must repent. You drank a glass of wine? Repent. Had a bit too much food for dinner? Repent. Expressed love physically? Repent. Who am I really hurting by doing any of these things? How is any of it morally wrong? Why should anyone feel guilty about these things?

The last thing that always bothered me about religion was the concept of thinking. By this I mean the fact that your thoughts are seen as being able of committing sins. Who was I hurting when I was lusting after Joe Jonas in the sixth grade? Or when I smiled at that lady who called me a bitch at work, while screaming bloody murder at her in my mind? My mind and my thoughts are the final frontier. It is something that is completely and forever only mine, until I decide to share them with someone else. They are the safe harbor where I keep all of my regrets, hopes, dreams and impossible scenarios. They are an integral part of who I am, just as your thoughts are an integral part of who you are. They are what makes us all unique and different, and what keeps this world an interesting place to live in.

If you asked me whether I am religious or not, I don't really know what I would say. All I know is, I believe in the ability of every individual to decide for themselves what is right and what is wrong for their specific situation. I believe we can all define morality without guilt and find peace within our own minds. In the end, everyone decides for themselves. That's the beauty of being human.

#religion #happiness #guilt #optimism #life #life questions #life quotes #self healing #self care #acceptance #self love #love

[normalcycorner]

Patterns

The room was small, its walls white and empty. Through a window on the far end she could see the leaves of a nearby maple tree swaying gently in the wind. Sunlight was peeking through the maple’s crown and illuminating the room. She stood on the wooden floor and wondered about her next move. All of the furniture was neatly packed and put away, making room for new and better things to come. She liked the room, so she knew she didn’t want to change the space itself, just its contents. However, something was stopping her. 

Making the decision about the shift was easy, she had wanted to move on for so long. Getting rid of all of her things was the next step, and it felt right. It was hard on her, but at the same time it felt necessary. However, now, standing in the room, she kept wondering if she had made the right decision. What if the new bed isn’t as comfortable as her old one? She had to remind herself that her previous bed was springy and too creaky, but that was the bed she knew. She was familiar with all of it’s weak spots and knew where all the cozy spots were. Oh, to remember all of the wonderful dreams she had experienced, lying in the middle of it.

Yet, thinking about the dreams instantly made her recall all of the nightmares she woke up from, covered in sweat and with terror on her pale face, fear rooted in those green eyes. She would try to blink away the ugly pictures, but they were so fresh in her mind. She would lie there for hours, scared of falling back to sleep. Scared of experiencing it all over again.

She felt like she was on a seesaw, and that was making her freeze up, unable to move, tortured equally by her trauma and all the sweetness of her memories. The sunrays were dancing around the shadows of the leaves on the floor while she was looking on, mesmerized by the patterns. Incapable of stepping forward into the light.