souldisgrate - Tumblr blog

souldisgrate · 10 days

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For people who have telegram:

Me and my buddies made a thomas and friends confession! You can DM me if you're interested

#ttte #thomas and friends

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souldisgrate · 13 days

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Tw vent, sex mention

I'm so freaking down right now... I can't even explain how dull and sad and unhappy and dysphoric and bad I feel

I'm back to thinking... I feel so bad when I start just thinking. 'Cause every time I do it my thoughts keep on leading back to who I am.

I desperately want to have a partner (or partners) and have romantic AND sexual relationship, I've fell in love pretty recently but... I also feel like NO ONE could really ever love me back at this point.

Who am I? A closeted transgender person with lots of weird kinks, interests (even fixations) and lots of triggers and nuances, with complicated as fuck identity and also so fucking hypersexual

I don't wanna spend my whole life lonely. I wanna love. I wanna be loved. But is there an actual way that's going to happen? Maybe that's really just my fate?

And I don't wanna give myself up. I don't want to stay in closet forever. I don't want people to see me as cis woman. I don't want people to see me as binary trans man. I want people to see AND accept AND support me as a nonbinary person who presents masculine AND feminine.

I don't want to stay in closet forever. I don't want my partner to think that I'm okay with just vagina-and-dick sex. YES I do have WEIRD desires. And I don't also want anyone to be uncomfortable with it. And I don't want myself to be uncomfortable.

So the only one fucking way is to actually find a person who's not queerphobic AND queer themselves, who's not anti-kink AND have weird kinks themselves AND THEM NOT BEING ONLY BINARY WOMEN

WHAT'S THE ACTUAL CHANCE OF SUCH THING TO HAPPEN...

#tw vent #vent post #lonelyness #queer #trans #transgender #lgbtq+#lgbt #LGBT+#lgbtq #платиновые мысли пианиста

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souldisgrate · 13 days

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I just had my first practice with coffee (I'm a future cook + confectioner + waiter + barista)

And I'm actually so happy to work with a coffee machine. It's quite complicated and I didn't manage to make the exact drink that I had to, but in the end at least it turned out drinkable 🕯️

#платиновые мысли пианиста #cook #coffee

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souldisgrate · 20 days

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Yeah we get it, you hate trans women.

Fun fact: trans women don't oppress trans men. And if any trans woman dislikes trans men it's probably because TRANS MEN KEEP BEING TRANSMISOGYNISTS. Trans women don't hate trans men for no reason wtf is wrong with you. Most of the trans man tag is trans men saying 'why do all the gross icky trans women hate us innocent baby transmascs so much we never did anything but those evil ladies hate us anyway :(' LIKE MAYBE IF YOU ACTUALLY WORKED ON YOUR TRANSMISOGYNY INSTEAD OF ASSUMING IT DOESN'T EXIST BECAUSE YOURE TRANS.

Stfu and LISTEN.

Yeah, I get it, you hate trans men. You yourself is just transphobic.

If you think that by supporting trans men I hate trans women I dunno... go get some help you mf 🥳

If you think that by saying this you will make any trans woman in this world feel safer and be less oppressed go get some HELP.

If you think that I'm being "transmysogynic" by supporting ALL transgender people our there GO. GET. SOME. HELP.

#lmao they're here now XD #tw transphobes #transgender #trans #trans men are valid #trans women are valid #trans men are real men #trans women are real women #queer

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souldisgrate · 21 days

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When someone supports trans women/transfems, listents to their problems and tells them something like "you're valid, you're beautiful and you deserve to be loved and heard" - they're absolutely 100% right as hell. Trans women and transfems deserve everything in this wirld.

.

BUT WHEN THE SAME MF SAYS THAT TRANS WOMEN AND TRANSFEMS ARE ALLOWED TO HATE TRANS MEN I WANT TO FUCKING SPIT IN THEIR FACES AND LEAVE THEM WITHOUT INTERNET CONNECTION FOR LIKE... YEAR? TEN YEARS? AS LONG AS POSSIBLE SO THEY COULD TOUCH SOME GRASS.

ALL TRANS PEOPLE ARE VALID. THEY ALL DESERVE TO BE LOVED, SUPPORTED, HEART AND PRAISED FOR WHO THEY ARE. AND THOSE WHO TELL OR THINK OR DO OTHERWISE DO NOT DESERVE ANY RESPECT AT ALL.

#tw transphobes #trans #transgender #transmasc #transfem #trans men are real men #trans women are real women #trans men are valid #trans women are valid #fuck transphobes #lgbtq+#queer

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souldisgrate · 1 month

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It's so much fun to draw attmoz srs

I really enjoyed doing this one 'cause I was in the mood.

Also I slightly redesigned him (nothing special just a few details) and I like the result

#msm #msm fanart #msm attmoz #attmoz #adult attmoz #my singing monsters #fanart #I still dunno how to draw backgrounds tbh

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souldisgrate · 1 month

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Now listen... listen...

What if... something like... swap au?

Listen listen LISTEN

Imagine most of the contests most of events staying the same but now the diesels are the "good" and privileged side ('cause yeah in original series steam engines have quite privilege I quite understand D10 for wanting a bit more attention I just don't appreciate the methods that he uses...) and steam engines are the "bad" and not-so-privileged side...

LIKE- IMAGINE VICTOR BEING NOT AN UNDERSTANDING AND CALM AND CARING ENGINE BUT AN EVIL MF WHO'S WILLING TO TAKE SOME POOR DIESEL APART BRAKE THEM INTO PIECES AND LIKE ☠️☠️ (actually I thought kinda a lot about it 'cause obviously he's my favorite and I have lots of "what ifs" about him in my head and I think it also kinda suits himmm)

OR DIESEL BEING NOT AN EDGY MISCHIEVOUS BLACK LOAF WITH CRINGY (/pos) FACE EXPRESSIONS BUT MORE SOMETHING LIKE PERCY - A LITTLE NICE FELLA WHO'S EVEN QUITE COMFORTABLE TO TALK TOO?

#ttte #thomas and friends #платиновые мысли пианиста #ttte au #au #ttte victor #ttte diesel

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souldisgrate · 1 month

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There's a post going around, written by a trans person saying "being trans CAN'T be a choice lol who would intentionally experience gender euphoria by putting on basketball shorts so I can look like a guy" and uhh. Are we not going to acknowledge the fact that this is still weird "men r embarrassing" rhetoric? Just from a trans person this time? Like all the critique for the straight women saying "sexuality CANT be a choice lol who would EVER choose to be attracted to men" and yet. Come on, it's "men r inherently bad or gross andno one would want them or want to be them unless biologically forced to" and you know what that sounds like? Bioessentialism.

#transgender #trans #queer

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souldisgrate · 1 month

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DAMN I NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS-

I violently HATE all the mfs who hate men and who hate those who are attracted to men. Like- fucking HEAR ME OUT.

Every fucking time I see someone talking shit like "all men are disgusting" or "how could you be attracted to men" or anything else like this I feel fucking ASHAMED for who I am EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT A BINARY MAN and I feel fucking ASHAMED FOR MY ATTRACTION TO MEN. Even if it's a joke. I DON'T CARE YOU'RE NOT FUNNY

I thought that... maybe inside queer spaces I would be safe? Maybe I would be safe from that shit? But... goddamn NO THAT DOESN'T WORK ☠️

In my mlm/nblm safespace-chanel on the other social network under one of the posts there was shit like "oh yeah I'm a lesbuan on the gay Chanel I'm super cool" NO YOU'RE NOT. THE ONLY POPULAR MLM SAFESPACES IN THAT SOCIAL NETWORKS WERE VIOLENTLY QUEERPHOBIC AND CONSERVATIVE IN GENERAL WHILE THERE WERE PLENTY OF WLW/NBLW SAFESPACES. LIKE???YOU COULD CHOOSE ANY OF THEM BUT YOU DECIDED TO DO THAT INSTEAD WTH IS WRONG WITH YOU...THAT FELT ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED.

I'm tired of feeling invalid for who I am. I'm tired of that shit. I'm tired of the hatred towards mlm/nblm people and their relationships. Everyone who's capable of it is DISGUSTING as fuck.

#tw vent #queer #lgbt #lgbtq+#nblm #nonbinary #transgender #mlm #платиновые мысли пианиста

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souldisgrate · 1 month

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A random fact about me: if I like a ttte character I will 100% go insane about their IRL prorotype. Me, myself, I like trains REEEALLY much. ESPECIALLY steam engines. Like???!!?!!? Have you seen them? 🤩🤩 Giant beautiful beasts, the best thing the humanity could ever invent... my love for them is ENDLESS. BUT when it comes to IRL prototype of my fave characters in ttte... it's kind of other thing.

I can't stop reading more and more about them, wanting to know every single detail, to see every single existing photo of them... Actually I'm just scanning through every piece if information I can find. Sometimes it feels like an abnormal obsession BUT it also makes me SO FREAKING HAPPY ⚠️⚠️⚠️

Tbh every time I get a long-lasting fixation I feel calm because like... 🎶stability🎶 I like it 🎀

#ttte #ttte shitpost #trains #платиновые мысли пианиста #thomas and friends

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souldisgrate · 1 month

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✨Send this to ten other bloggers you think are wonderful, keep the game going and make someone smile!!✨

Ooh... thanks so much 🎀🎀

#платиновые мысли пианиста

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souldisgrate · 2 months

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TW raid/deanon mention

I don't know what to say... I've been through raids and attempts of deanoning myself. It was. terrible experience and now one person that I know faced it, too. They are queer, too. They live in conservative environment, too. Their parents are strict, too. They are crying in voice messages and I want to help them, I want to make them feel better, but I can't do anything. That feels disgusting. All the raiders and deanoners are disgusting. They don't deserve anything better than hate. They can't do nothing more than terrorising other people and destroying their lives.

#vent #vent post #tw raid mention #tw deanon mention #платиновые мысли пианиста

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souldisgrate · 2 months

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Sign the petition for trans people of Russia