stxckinwonderland

[stxckinwonderland]

Everyone keeps saying they want to be known, like truly known because ‘being known is being loved.’ But lately the ordeal of being known sounds terrifying to me. Because what if someone knows everything about you, every little up and down that makes you you and then they decide that they don’t care about you after all. And then they use everything that makes you up, as a silly punchline to hurt you? What if they get tired of knowing you? My heart doesn’t even feel like a heart anymore.

#i hate being alone #just me being emotional #one sided love #poetry #literature #spilled thoughts #tired thoughts #3 am thoughts #one sided pining #sad aesthetic #friends to lovers #movies #one sided relationships #romantic thoughts #sad poetry #sad thoughts #someone love me #thoughts #thoughts on relationships #lonely #alone and sad #i feel insane #ordeal of being known #can’t get over it #i want to get over you #i hate you #i love you #im so tired #loving is tiring #loving uses me up

[stxckinwonderland]

the black saint & the sinner lady & the dead & the truth, morgan parker // the truth the dead know, anne sexton.

[stxckinwonderland]

Did you get scared or did you never care?

#top10thingsthathauntme #literature #poetry #one sided love #spilled thoughts #tired thoughts #3 am thoughts #one sided pining #sad aesthetic #friends to lovers #movies #one sided relationships #romantic thoughts #sad poetry #sad thoughts #someone love me #thoughts #thoughts on relationships #lonely #alone and sad #i feel insane #sad heart #care about me #please care #please miss me #i miss you #you’re there but i miss you so bad

[stxckinwonderland]

[stxckinwonderland]

Have u ever just watched someone move or talk or laugh and ur like wow how the fuck is everything you do so hot

[stxckinwonderland]

Update: i was being delusional

Having feelings for someone makes you remember how much having feelings for someone actually sucks. The confusion and indecisiveness is in overdrive. Am I sure I like you? And if I like you, do you like me back? Do you notice when I get jealous of anyone who gets to spend more time with you? When you tease me, is it only me? Or are you this way with everyone? I’m no one special. But am I special to you? Do you feel any of what I feel or is it just me being delusional all on my own?

#literature #poetry #one sided love #tired thoughts #3 am thoughts #one sided pining #sad aesthetic #friends to lovers #movies #one sided relationships #im sad guys #im sad now #sad and depressed #sad and lonely #i feel like shit #i feel insane #i feel terrible #i remember it all too well #i hate it here #im so tired #i cant anymore #lonely #delusional #unrequited feelings #feelings

[stxckinwonderland]

Why does my heart feel like its on fire? but the fire never sees itself through. It’s like it keeps burning and burning and my heart is shriveling up but never all the way. I keep dousing it with cold to get rid of it but it just won’t end and i feel so utterly and devastatingly terrible. I just want to stop caring about you.

#literature #poetry #spilled thoughts #one sided love #tired thoughts #3 am thoughts #one sided pining #sad aesthetic #friends to lovers #movies #one sided relationships #romantic thoughts #sad poetry #sad thoughts #someone love me #thoughts #thoughts on relationships #loneliness #lonely #passionate #lonely love #i feel like shit #i feel sick #i feel insane #i feel not good #i feel empty #i feel so stupid #i feel terrible

[stxckinwonderland]

Why is it so easy for people to just stop caring when its so fucking hard for me to get them off my mind. I don’t want to fucking care about anyone ever again. It hurts too fucking much.

#thoughts on love #literature #poetry #spilled thoughts #one sided love #tired thoughts #3 am thoughts #one sided pining #sad aesthetic #friends to lovers #movies #one sided relationships #romantic thoughts #sad poetry #sad thoughts #someone love me #thoughts #thoughts on relationships #love me back #love me #lonely #alone and sad #sad and lonely

[stxckinwonderland]

AND I DONT WANT THE WORLD TO SEE ME CAUSE I DONT THINK THAT THEYD UNDERSTAND

WHEN EVERYTHINGS MADE TO BE BROKEN I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW WHO I AM

#Spotify

[stxckinwonderland]

Miserable again

[stxckinwonderland]

you said i never really knew you

and i wondered how i always end up here;

standing infront of a stranger i fell in love with

#literature #poetry #spilled thoughts #one sided love #tired thoughts #3 am thoughts #one sided pining #sad aesthetic #friends to lovers #movies #one sided relationships #romantic thoughts #sad poetry #sad thoughts #someone love me #thoughts #thoughts on relationships

[stxckinwonderland]

So I’m irrevocably in love with my best friend. I’m so in love with him that sometimes I’ll just be sitting there and all i wanna do is scream, ‘ I love you. I love you so much my heart hurts’. But love feels too big a word to throw around so lightly, especially when unrequited.

#unrequited love #love #thoughts #one sided love #best friend #im in love with you #bestfriends to lovers #friends to lovers #love is tiring

[stxckinwonderland]

when phoebe bridgers said "i don't wanna be me anymore" and when olivia rodrigo said "i'm so sick of myself, rather be anyone else" and when taylor swift said "will you still want me when i'm nothing new" and when harry styles said "what if i'm someone i don't want around" and when lorde said "i understand, i'm a liability"

[stxckinwonderland]

“Why do we read books that make us weep? Undoubtedly because we never have, in reality, enough to lament. We need to gamble with fire, with blood, with mourning, not because we are gamblers, but because we need to almost die. We need to mourn for ourselves. And yet to stay alive.”

— Stigmata: Escaping Texts, “In October 1991…” by Hélène Cixous tr. Keith Cohen

[stxckinwonderland]

Yrsa Daley-Ward, from bone; “waiting for the check to clear”

[stxckinwonderland]

300122, S.T.

[stxckinwonderland]

admit it, we’ve all fantasised about slow-dancing in the kitchen barefoot in our pyjamas at 2am in the arms of someone we love while old romantic jazz songs play softly on the radio