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mostthingskenobi · 3 months

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CASSIAN'S RECKONING - Chapter 18: The Reach

CHAPTER SUMMARY: A blatant proximity trope. That's what fan fics are for, right?!?!

This is one of my favorite chapters :) Because I am always here for a good proximity trope. If you think about it, the entire Rogue One movie is a forced proximity trope...Tony Gilroy and Gareth Edwards, I thank you.

In this chapter, Cassian says something in Kenari. I did some research about the language and I read that it's a mix of Spanish and Hungarian. Sadly, I don't know anything about Hungarian, but I learned a smattering of Mexican Spanish when I was in high school. So, I decided my version of Kenari would just be Spanish (firstly because I don't speak Hungarian and secondly because I wanted to show Diego respect). Thank you to my dear friend Adela for double checking my translation and helping me make it more accurate. (It's a small moment, but there's more to come in future chapters.)

I hope you enjoy!

READ THE FIC ON AO3

THIS IS A WHUMPY FIC W/GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF VIOLENCE. PLEASE HEED THE TAGS ON AO3.

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CHAPTER 18: THE REACH

“One way out! One way out!”

Prisoners were pushing past him by the dozen, shouting their freedom chant as they jumped from the platform to the waves below. The crowd’s momentum pulled him backward, inch by inch getting closer to the edge. He stretched out his hand, reaching through the bodies. “Come on!” he shouted.

Jyn, dressed in the dehumanizing Narkina 5 uniform, cowered, pressing against the prisoners behind her. “I can’t,” she said shaking her head.

He could see she was terrified but this was their only chance. If they didn’t jump now, they’d be prisoners forever. “Jyn, take my hand! We have to go!”

She began to collapse to the ground. “I can’t swim.”

A large figure appeared at his side. He turned and found himself face to face with a man who preyed upon his memory. Kino Loy’s eyes were hard and filled with fury, his hulking body crowding Andor back until he teetered on the platform edge. Paralyzed by fear, the rebel’s own eyes widened with horror; he only had time for his gaze to shift from Kino to Jyn and back before the huge man brutally shoved him overboard. Jyn disappeared as the prison’s exterior wall rushed by. The fall lasted long enough to panic, but the plummet was so sickening Cassian couldn’t even scream. Instead of hitting icy water, he smashed into a durasteal beam, bouncing until he landed on a metal grate inside a citadel tower, every bone in his body bursting like stardust…

…Cassian’s eyelids dragged open.

He lay still for a long time, face down in his bunk, letting his heartrate and breathing return to normal before he allowed himself to move.

This one had felt real.

He hated vivid dreams.

His experience on Narkina 5 was so profoundly dark it had burned its memories into his bones. The prison’s clean orderliness had been a veneer barely masking a system that was so sinister, so hopeless, so deeply futile that it haunted Cassian to this day. Kino Loy, a man who commanded respect and led hundreds of men to a freedom he could never share, was one of Cassian’s deepest regrets. If he could go back and change one thing about his past, he would grab Kino and drag him to safety.

But it hadn’t been possible.

Cassian shivered as he realized he’d left Jyn on that platform just like he’d left Kino.

He rolled onto his back and stared up at the metal bulkhead.

He knew what it all meant; the nightmares weren’t exactly subtle. He was afraid of missing his chance, of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, or in the right place at the right time and messing it up, or making a stupid mistake that killed someone he cared about.

But he also knew he couldn’t control any of that. Which ultimately meant the dream was about living with fear, accepting it, facing it, thriving in spite of it.

Cassian rubbed his hands across his face. “I need coffee,” he grumbled.

What he really needed was a solid night’s rest that didn’t include nightmares of Jyn screaming, bleeding, or crying. Tarkin’s torture had pried open a level of vulnerability Cassian wasn’t sure how to heal. His nerves felt raw, like his past was fighting with the present. Everything Jyn said to him the night before lingered in his mind, battling with a lifetime of insignificance. He had grown up the outsider, the selfish taker, the lost boy. He’d been aimless, careless, and angry. But ever since he’d joined the Rebel Alliance, all that pent up emotion was directed into something meaningful. Even so, Jyn had been right; deep down, in spite of his efforts, Cassian thought he was living on borrowed time. He couldn’t imagine himself as an old man, couldn’t even picture where he’d be in a year, and he always assumed that meant he wouldn’t live to be very old. He’d survived by mere chance so many times that he figured one day fate would catch up and want him to pay his dues. After Jyn said she was proud of him, for the first time in his life Cassian began to wonder if he’d survived all the horror for a reason. Perhaps fate had spared him because he was, in fact, trying to give others the freedom and safety he’d never known.

His brow pulled together as an uncharacteristically buoyant idea crept into his mind. He thought of Jyn, of all the moments that, when you added them up, equaled something undeniable; tackling him to protect him from a grenade on Jedha, supporting his injured body on Scarif, rescuing him from Tarkin, sitting by his bedside holding his hand while he recovered in the medical ward. He hadn’t just survived; he’d been protected. Perhaps they weren’t living on borrowed time; perhaps his time with Jyn was a gift, an opportunity for something neither of them had ever dared accept.

The idea almost scared him.

He loved her; he could finally admit that to himself.

But loving someone meant you had something worth losing.

And that vulnerability terrified him.

Cassian had already lost too much.

Could he risk losing her?

That’s just love. Nothing you can do about that.

Maarva’s words made him catch his breath; he could not think of his mother without also feeling the dull blade of grief.

But he relaxed and closed his eyes, letting the feelings have their way. Cassian lay back, tucking his hands behind his head, and turned inward.

“OK, Mom,” he whispered.

——————–

Rogue One gathered in the bunk room again that evening for another round of sabacc. No one had any money to gamble, so for credits Bodhi purchased several boxes of horrendously sour candy in the ship’s exchange. Whenever someone won a hand, they were required to eat a candy. Jyn currently had tears streaming down her face as she stomped her boot on the floor. “You bastard!” she shouted as the others laughed. She went to crunch the candy in half but they all protested.

“No, no, no!” Cassian cried, grabbing her shoulder. “You can’t cheat!”

“You know the rules!” Bodhi guffawed.

Baze was wheezing so hard he couldn’t speak. No one had ever seen him laugh like that.

Chirrut was beaming, basking in the ebullience created by his friends in the Force.

“I’m literally sweating!” Jyn squawked. “What kind of monster are you?” she pointed at Bodhi. The pilot was in stitches, hugging himself while he laughed. “This candy is evil! Why are you punishing us for winning?”

They had never laughed so hard as a group. And they knew it. An air of awareness hung over them, each realizing what a relief it was to feel joy.

“All the blood has drained from your face,” Cassian burst out, bending forward over his knees as he lost control again.

She gently shoved him and smiled, holding the candy between her teeth. “Just wait ‘til it’s your turn, Andor!” Finally, the sweets dissolved and Jyn gasped for air, wiping sweat from her brow. “You absolute bastard!” she glared at Bodhi. “You look all innocent and mild on the outside, but deep down you’re a fiend.”

“Keeps the playing field even,” Bodhi chuckled.

The group threw more candy in the table’s center for an ante.

“I never want to win again,” Jyn said wiping her eyes.

They played for a long time, but, despite his best efforts, Cassian began fading quickly. When the game paused while Chirrut and Baze went in search of drinks, Jyn turned to him and spoke quietly. “Are you OK?”

“Yeah, why?”

“You can hardly keep your eyes open.”

He rubbed his face hard before pushing his hands up into his hair. “I haven’t been sleeping very well.”

“Is it odd being in a different place? A new ship, a new room?”

A grimace turned up the corner of his mouth. “No, I can sleep anywhere; on the ground, on a ship, in a prison, tied to a chair. I can do it all.”

She forced herself to smile.

“Is that joke too dark?” he teased.

Jyn rolled her eyes. “Of course not.”

He sighed and let his head droop forward.

“Bad dreams?” she asked, her voice serious again but still hushed.

He nodded.

She leaned toward him, her body pressing against his shoulder as she gently touched the fading bruise on his forehead. “No injuries today?” She brushed a rogue lock of hair off his brow.

Cassian turned.

Their eyes met.

And for a moment neither of them could breathe.

“It’s too quiet in my quarters,” he finally said, not breaking eye contact.

“Lets the bad dreams in?”

“I think so.”

She could hear Bodhi rummaging in his footlocker nearby. The members of Rogue One were not fools; Jyn suspected they all assumed something existed between her and Cassian, but she still didn’t like the idea of anyone examining her behavior, no matter what evidence they were looking for. Even so, she couldn’t pull her gaze away from Cassian’s. “What would help you sleep?”

He glanced down at her lips.

She could see that his breathing had deepened.

Suddenly, all Jyn wanted was to push her fingers through Cassian’s hair and close her lips over his. Instead, she swallowed thickly before saying, “Maybe you should try sleeping somewhere noisy.”

Bodhi slammed his locker shut just as Baze and Chirrut arrived with a bottle and glasses.

Cassian blinked and Jyn turned back to the group as Chirrut handed them drinks. “This should get the taste of those awful candies out of your mouth,” the guardian said with a smile.

“You’re a true hero, Chirrut,” Cassian said dryly before tossing the amber liquid down his throat in one go.

“I help where I can,” the guardian responded warmly.

They gathered around the table and shuffled out the cards again, but it wasn’t long before Cassian began to fall asleep sitting up.

“Perhaps I gave you too much,” Chirrut offered as Andor’s head dipped forward before jerking back.

“I’m a lightweight these days,” Cassian replied with a slightly drunken smile.

“I appreciate a cheap date,” the guardian snorted.

“Do you mind if I just lay down for a little?” he asked the group. His eyes shifted to Jyn’s. “I don’t mean to invade your personal space…”

She smiled and gestured with her head that she didn’t mind in the least.

Cassian crawled behind her, stretching out on his back.

“Do you want us to be quiet?” Bodhi asked.

“No,” Cassian replied, his eyes already closed. “I like the noise.”

The bunk was muffled and cozy. His friends continued their game as dark sleep crept around his consciousness. Cassian hadn’t felt this safe in a long time, Jyn sitting by his side, Chirrut laughing, Bodhi shuffling cards, Baze telling jokes. The noise was good. He tucked an arm behind his head, stuffing the pillow into a more comfortable position. His last thought before drifting off was that the soft fabric near his cheek smelled like Jyn.

——————–

When the card game broke up about an hour later, Cassian was deep in sleep. So deep, in fact, that Jyn couldn’t wake him. She shook his shoulder and said his name but received no response. She leaned closer and spoke louder. “Cass.” His left eyebrow pulled up for a second before going slack again. Jyn looked at Bodhi who hovered by her side. “I don’t know what to do.”

The pilot gave her a pathetic noncommittal look before saying, “Nothing you really can do.”

The overhead lights flashed, indicating lights out in five minutes.

“Shit!” Jyn grumbled, throwing up her hands. “Where am I supposed to sleep? I have an early meeting with Draven tomorrow. I need to get some rest.”

“Just get in there next to him,” Baze said, leaning down from his bunk above Jyn’s. “You can fit.”

The thought hadn’t crossed her mind, but she stooped in and found that she could squeeze in by the inside wall.

“If an officer sees you both, you’ll get in trouble,” Bodhi warned.

“I’m an officer, and so is he,” she said hiking her thumb at the unconscious Andor. “If you have a better suggestion, I’m happy to hear it.”

“You didn’t try very hard to wake him up.”

“Be my guest.”

Bodhi took a timid step forward before leaning into Jyn’s bunk. “Cassian,” he said loudly, shaking the commander by both shoulders. A small grunt came from the back of the sleeping man’s throat but other than that, he didn’t budge. Bodhi turned back to Jyn. “Yeah, he’s not waking up.”

“Thanks for your help,” she muttered sarcastically as the pilot retreated to his own bunk. The overhead lights flashed out and orange running lights came on along the floor. Jyn sighed and made up her mind. She grabbed hold of the rack above hers and climbed over Cassian’s body, careful not to jostle him. She pulled shut the long, black privacy curtain then settled against the inside wall. The bunks were incredibly narrow, and since Cassian was flat on his back taking up most of the room, she had to prop up on her right side. Jyn didn’t mind; she’d slept in worse conditions.

A thin line of orange light peeked through the curtain’s edge, backlighting Cassian’s features. Before drifting off she watched him, listened to his steady breathing, felt his weight on the mattress. Her last thought before falling asleep was that seeing him so peaceful was worth getting in trouble.

Hours passed and the room eventually settled and grew silent, apart from the usual sounds aboard a star freighter and the occasional snore.

In the night’s deepest hour Cassian became restless, his arms and legs contracting so much that it shook Jyn awake. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes, unsure what had roused her, but when she heard his panicked breathing she knew he was in the throes of a nightmare. At first, she wasn’t sure what to do; anyone startled from a bad dream could accidentally lash out. The last thing she needed was for Cassian to flail around in these close quarters and break her nose.

Eventually, she settled on trying to calm him without waking him, so she ran her hand across his chest and gently stroked her fingers along his collarbone. She tried to send calming, comforting energy through her palm into his heart.

Without warning he rolled onto his side toward her, bringing them so close together she could feel his breath on her cheek.

He sighed deeply.

She could sense he had awakened.

“Jyn?” he asked too loudly.

“Shhh,” she whispered.

“It’s so dark I can’t see.” he whispered back. “Did I fall asleep in your rack?”

“Yes.”

“Shit.”

He was quiet for a long time. She couldn’t see his face anymore since his shoulders now blocked the light coming in around the curtain’s edge.

He didn’t move to leave.

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” he finally asked, still keeping his voice quiet.

“I tried and so did Bodhi.” She shrugged in the darkness.

“But now what am I supposed to do?” She could hear the smile in his voice; he was teasing her. “What if someone sees me crawl out of your bunk?”

“Who cares?”

She could feel that his face had moved slightly closer to hers. “You don’t care?”

“No.”

“You don’t care how it looks?”

“I’ve never cared what other people think of me. It only matters what I think of me.”

Once again, they both fell silent. She could feel that he was breathing harder, just like her.

Jyn would be lying if she said this was an unpleasant predicament. Cassian’s friendship, their unspoken devotion, was a lovely, meaningful thing. But she could not deny that she found him absolutely and completely attractive. He was handsome to be sure, intelligent and disarming, but his good looks were magnified by far more important traits. No other man could both challenge and uplift her as he did. He was independent, confident, but not too proud to admit when he was wrong. He laughed with her, spoke to her as an equal, treated her with respect even when they first met and he wasn’t sure he could trust her.

Now that they were only inches apart, rolled together in a narrow ship rack in a room with fifty-nine other people, the rest of the galaxy seemed to disintegrate.

Cassian suddenly pulled her into his arms, breathing her name as he nuzzled against her, their lips brushing together. She cupped his face in her hands and gently traced his jaw, his cheek, his lips. He smelled like clear, fresh water warmed by the sun; she found him intoxicating. His fingers slipped up her neck and disappeared in her hair, pulling her even closer against him. Their eagerness was palpable, but they didn’t kiss. Instead, they clung to each other, as though Scarif’s scars demanded they finally come full circle, holding each other as they had on that deadly beach. Their breath came in shuddering gasps as an untenable dam of emotions threatened to break. Pleasure and pain and loss and joy surged to Cassian and Jyn’s surface. These two people, haunted by wrongs they could not right and misfortunes they could not repair, had finally reached for each other. That feat alone was a massive leap of faith, letting their guard down long enough to not just admit their desire, but to act on it.

She hooked her leg over his and completely closed the distance between their bodies. “Cassian,” she sighed, pulling his lips nearer.

His thumb gently played across her mouth. “Te quiero besar,” he whispered in a language he knew she didn’t understand.

She could feel his breath on her tongue.

Just as he was about to press his lips to hers, the bunk above them creaked and Baze grunted down the rack ladder, his foot shifting on the wrung mere inches from Cassian’s head on the other side of the curtain. Cassian froze, both he and Jyn instantly snapping back to reality. He listened wide-eyed as the guardian’s steps hit the floor and shuffled toward the bathroom.

He refocused on Jyn. “I should go. If I get caught here, we’ll both end up in the brig.”

She nodded.

They were disappointed by the interruption but energized by the wall that had suddenly come down between them. Cassian smiled and quickly pressed his cheek to hers. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he whispered in her ear. He drew back, one final caress sliding over her neck before rolling under the curtain. She couldn’t hear his steps as he walked away. Still a spy, she smiled to herself and pulled the blanket over her head.

——————–

END NOTES

NEXT CHAPTER IS CALLED “THE HOLOGRAM” - Jyn finally learns why she wasn't put on leave. She is not a happy camper. Brace for impact.

Thank you for reading!

Likes, comments, and reblogs are very welcome!

Much love!

——————–

READ IT ON AO3- Kudos and Comments Welcome :-)

READ CHAPTER 1 “The Razor”

READ CHAPTER 2 “The Scythe”

READ CHAPTER 3 “The Cold”

READ CHAPTER 4 “The Expendable”

READ CHAPTER 5 “The Truth”

READ CHAPTER 6 “The Detritus”

READ CHAPTER 7 “The Salt”

READ CHAPTER 8 “The Power”

READ CHAPTER 9 “The Betrayal”

REACH CHAPTER 10 “The Ruse”

READ CHAPTER 11 “The Reprieve”

READ CHAPTER 12 “The Ghosts”

READ CHAPTER 13 “The Redemption”

READ CHAPTER 14 “The Spoils”

READ CHAPTER 15 “The Interrogation”

READ CHAPTER 16 “The Rogues”

READ CHAPTER 17 “The Absolution”

READ CHAPTER 18 "The Reach"

READ CHAPTER 19 “The Hologram”

READ CHAPTER 20 “The Divide”

READ CHAPTER 21 “The Cost”

READ CHAPTER 22 “The Fallout”

READ CHAPTER 23 “The Wounds”

#cassian #cassian andor #andor #cassian andor fanfiction #cassian andor fic #jyn #jyn erso #jyn x cassian #rebelcaptain #rebelcaptain fic #rebelcaptain fanfic #rogue one #rogue one fic #rogue one fanfiction #bodhi rook #baze malbus #chirrut imwe

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xxlea-nardoxx · 7 months

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hiiii ive been wondering about your au kids for a while but couldnt find much stuff on your blog so here are just questions that came to my mind

how did you come up with them?

where did they come from? i know they were born like that and im very curious

who is their malea? where did she come from? how did she adopt them?

what is splinter doing?

what is the exact relationship the cast have? (including malea)

im sorry if anything sounded weird or rude im just very interested in your au and want to learn more

Oh my god give me a minute- *sobs*

I could never be mad at someone asking me about my AU. Seriously, this makes me really happy. I'm grateful to provide you answers.😭

Also I'm sorry that you have difficulties finding stuff. I've talked lots about my AU before, but I guess I just don't have enough destinct tags for that. So I'm telling you something: Whenever I talk about my AU, I'll tag it as #Universes au rambling . That way you and others can find it easier! I'll tag it in this post too. I'm sorry if I made it too hard!!!

But now, onto the answers!

How did you come up with them?

Interesting question. You see, I'm very into Slice of Life content, no matter if fanfiction, show or movie. And since I like that so much and it gives a great contrast to the 2012 canon, I decided to have my AU be slice-of-life-themed. So they go to school and live a normal life.

And it's also where the canon universe comes into play. We know the canon 2012 timeline and how stuff played out. I wanted both parties to get a good glimpse at the others lives and how different they are. The Au kids were really surprised to see their counterparts living in an old abandoned subway station, being crime-fighting ninja and having to hide themselves away in the fear of being seen.

The Au kids aren't used to this. For them it is normal to walk the streets and live together with humans and anthros alike. They are surprised to hear that the 12!Turtles weren't even born like this, but rather got mutated by a mysterious substance. The lives of both groups are way different and I really like to show it off!

Where did they come from?

As you already said, you know that my AU kids were born this way. No mutagen ever entered their systems and they never heard of the ooze, before meeting the canon turtles. So now that begs the question: Where did they come from?

They were born 14-15 years ago, Lee and Raphie spending their first year of their live with their biological parents. Don and Mike were born about a year after that. Sadly, they didn't get to stay with their parents for long. It was for the better, though.

Who is Malea? Where did she come from and how did she adopt them?

Malea is simply a very kindhearted soul. She's always wanted to be a foster mom and got some of her first foster children in the form of the Au kids. Lee and Raphie were a bit over a year old and Don and Mike about three months. She fell in love with them at first sight and never wanted to give them back, resulting in their adoption.

This is not exactly how it works in real life, but I don't want it to be too realistic, so I don't really care about it. Sorry if it bothers anyone, but also not sorry. xD

What is Splinter doing?

Being dead, lmfao.

Okay no seriously, there's only one Splinter so far, who is the canon one. However, since my AU plays after season 4, he is already dead and thus the Au kids never got to meet him. They've seen him before on pictures and heard some stories when he was briefly mentioned by the canon turtles, but otherwise he's pretty much a mystery to the au kids. They also don't dare pry for anymore information, guessing their counterparts don't want to talk about it. They have already caught up on the fact of him being dead and the fact that their counterparts are orphans.

What is the exact relationship the cast has?

Malea and the au kids have a family-type of relationship. The Au kids have fully accepted her as their mother, as they don't remember their biological parents at all and never really built up a relationship with them in the first place. As such Malea is the only parent in their book and the most important person in their life.

The Au kids relationship to their counterparts is on friendly, brotherly terms. It, of course, takes them a while but at one point they all have accepted each other as brothers. Malea will end up accepting her fate as being a mother of eight kids, never missing out on giving the canon turtles affection and gifts. :>

The canon turtles on the other hand all take their time on accepting Malea as their new parental figure. Mikey is the first to call her mom, come to her for cuddles and help and give her the drawings he made (which Malea puts up on the fridge hehe). The others all do like Malea a lot, but simply cannot bring themselves to call her their mother (yet). However, they do start accepting her help and love, it just takes a while and Malea is happy with waiting. She does not want to push them, after all!

Thank you so much for your questions. It was quite a challenge to write out answers for them all, but I hope you are satisfied. Though if you have anymore questions, feel free to ask me. And again: The tag #Universes au rambling contains text posts and information posts like this one. I hope it's easier to scroll through this one. Have a nice day! :>

#tmnt #tmnt 2012 #tmnt universes au #tmnt au #tmnt 2012 au #tmnt au kids #tmnt au don #tmnt au lee #tmnt au raphie #tmnt au mike #tmnt au malea #tmnt oc #xxlea nardoxx asks #xxlea nardoxx rambling #universes au rambling

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sophieinwonderland · 1 year

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There’s a little more than two pro endos, and there’s a lot of people who are unaligned? Like I might be wrong on one or two of these but:

Anti: justanothersyscourse, dissociativediscourse, traumascumathena, stonecourse, syscoursehell, squidcourse, Bloodysys, sysmemes, migrainesys

Unaligned (with a lot of people who support pro-endos and endos): chaos-in-one, multiple-myselves, oopsallsyscourse, doomsdayradio, circulars-reasoning, syscourse-confessions, syscoursebot, osddtraumagenic (I think), syscourse-brackets, syscourse-polls, bababooey bandit

Pro-Endo: subsystems, night-Wyld-system, Mournfall-syscourse, autumn-rain-co, and you

yeah there definitely needed to be more pro-endos, but the majority of users in the poll were unaligned, not antis.

I'm not an expert on every blog here, but I think Autumn and Subsystems identify as neutral. I (and syscourse-backets) did forget about Mournfall identifying as pro-endo. (For some reason, I thought they identified as neutral too)

Additionally, Doomsdayradio is a frequent poster in the anti-endo tags, and OSDDtraumagenic made a post wanted to reclaim the word sysmed.

I'm also just not counting the gimmick accounts so much. Sychourse-Confessions and Syscourse-Polls don't interject their own opinions really, Syscoursebot is a literal bot. And the Bababooey Bandit just says Bababooey and doesn't actually engage in syscourse.

They're involved in syscourse vaguely but aren't really syscoursers themselves. And many of these accounts are probably redundant, being ran by others who were in the brackets.

So that's 11 anti. 6 neutral personal blogs. 5 Gimmicks. And 3 pro-endos.

I also think it's notable that only one endogenic system was included in the entire thing. Not even any mixed origin or quoigenic systems.

Honestly though, I don't think I can even complain too much on this front.

Yes, obviously it's pretty bad when you have exactly one endogenic system in the entire thing, and then decide to make a post in the middle of it accusing that only endogenic system of spreading misinformation... but the real reason endogenic blogs weren't in it was probably because we didn't submit them.

If you look at the reblogs on the post asking for submissions, most of them came from anti-endos or neutrals who are in close connection with the anti-endo community.

If I or other major pro-endos had reblogged it, I imagine that we would have seen more endogenic and pro-endo blogs in the brackets. But... I didn't really want to. The concept seemed gross to me from the beginning, and I suspect I wasn't the only one who felt this way.

Syscourse isn't a game for endogenic and mixed origin systems like it is for anti-endos.

I might have played along once I was in, but I didn't submit any blogs, and I didn't want to reblog it. I felt all along that systems submitted to what's essentially a popularity contest with many people who have harassed and fakeclaimed them could be harmful to them. And given the conduct of Syscourse-Brackets, I sadly feel that this expectation was only more justified in the end.

If I had reblogged it and even one pro-endo system had been put in the brackets who didn't want to be because of that reblog, and being put in the brackets without their consent harmed them, then I would have been partially responsible for harming that system.

So I guess, while it was ultimately lopsided... I think that was probably for the best.

#syscourse #pro endo #pro endogenic #endogenic #systems #system #multiplicity #plural #plurality #brackets #system discourse #actually a system

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klappert-art · 9 months

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It's my 5 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳 --- Wow it's been 5 years since I tried to learn to draw properly and post them here 😅

Long rambling under the cut

Honestly it was pretty challenging for me because my study (when I started this blog) was pretty intense, also I live at home, commute every day to go to class so finding time & energy to draw is out of the window. I'm always amazed that most of my fav artists are real university students too, who probably have it even harder than me but they can draw a lot better... So why can't I??

The thing that I learned over time is, I improved faster when I draw fan arts. Because I have real and strict references to follow, unlike when I do OC where I usually just random bullshit go. That's why you see me posted fan arts more here. I just do my favorite fandom to motivate myself lol.

I am a picky person regarding fandom because mentally I can't handle so many heartbreaks (HAHA). And I need a fandom with diverse things to draw. Fate series is very perfect for me. I really like their ideas and the characters are just challenging. I've been into it since 2016-2017 and my pre-Fate art compared to today is... dkgeagwefgwk. I owe my skill growth to this fandom. My first post here was a Tomoe Gozen fan art 😂

I got into radar twice (which is still weird and unbelievable) because of a Noragami FA and my first A:TLA FA ever posted. Which was funny, because I don't draw them that much. But then again, my first "exposure" was from a random Taylor Swift ink art for a random inktober in 2019. That was so surreal lol.

Maybe you notice another fandom I draw a lot too, yes the game of all people in this world: Genshin Impact. Man, I started the game in release and thought "I have to make at least one fan art with the scenery of the game, and maybe this gonna be my first and last GI fan art." And look where we are now. I didn't expect this game would blow up, I believe the first FA I posted was one of the earliest Genshin post on tumblr 😂.I started doing GI FA also because I am mesmerized by the landscape and want to draw landscapes better. You see, there's this kind of reason in EVERY media I'm involving myself into. I simply like pretty and cool things. Sadly at some point the fandom is hell, so I like to take a step back sometimes.

Few months ago I also did some vtubers FA. Although mostly HoloID only, simply because I'm proud of them. Vtuber community has this unique relationship between Vtubers and derivative works, so you can feel real accomplishment when you showed your work to them.

Still, I still highly prefer to make real good original art and story someday. For now, I guess I have to grind first, because my current level is still not where I want to be yet to achieve that.

I use tumblr to post because I like the blogging and tagging system, however this site isn't popular in my country and my marketing for local cons isn't effective if I only use tumblr. I have IG, but I don't like it, thinking I should make twitter or something. AAaaA. My wish for now is to make many money with art lol (at least to supply my disposable income).

And some little things about myself, I'm working now, but not in creating art/design field. It's more of a history and research field (I do still interested in design... if I have the chance--yes I graduated from design thingy school). This blog is like... my creative outlet. The girl on my avatar is my OC Klappy, a gjinka of klappertaart. Klappertaart is the name of an Indonesian dessert (well, the name itself is dutch I guess) made from coconut topped with raisins. Dalr is an acronym from my real name. Thanks for reading, have a good day.

#5 year tumblrversary #tumblr milestone

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purrincess-chat · 2 years

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So I have three criticisms about the fandom:

1. Why tf do people call Marinette a creepy stalker? They do realize she’s 14 right? She’s a young girl with a crush, not some s*x offender.

2. I don’t get why there are fights over the Lovesquare when it’s literally the same two people. At the end of the day, it’s the same fucking dynamic.

3. The way this fandom treats the creator like he owes them something is absolutely disgusting. They act like a bunch of self-important, entitled karens.

1. People forget what it's like to be a teenager with a crush. That and there is a trend in fandoms as of late that exercises this black and white thinking pattern. Either something is so morally pure and devoid of any wrongdoing or it's completely problematic and anyone that enjoys or consumes it is just enabling harmful narratives. There's no room for nuance. ML is written by someone who grew up watching old, old superhero cartoons and watching old, old superhero comics. That's evident in a lot of jokes and references and tropes that they use. The creator himself worked on several shows in the early 2000s, and you can see evidence of that time period in ML. While that objectively wasn't that long ago, the early 2000s were a much different time on TV. The teen girl practically basing her whole identity around being in love with her crush was a common trope around that time (see: Helga from Hey Arnold. Seriously yall Marinette ain't got nothing on Helga and her motherfucking chewed gum shrine shaped like Arnold's head). A lot of her behavior is meant to be exaggerated for the joke (as was Helga's). That's just how things were. 🤷‍♀️ But some people, especially if they didn't grow up in that era watching those types of shows or if they're not as socially competent and can't understand hyperbole, then that's likely where the Marinette is a stalker thing comes from. Also can have a lot to do with mob mentality. Someone people deem cool or smart says it once, so a bunch of underlings follow without actually thinking about whether it's objectively true or bothering to question it. It's a problem in society at large (I mean look at the American political system, or any political system rn honestly)

2. You and me both, nonny. Yet every time I go into the ladrien tag to find content to queue for ladrien Wednesday, I scroll past at least 3 "ranking the love square sides" posts and ladrien is always at the bottom because of some arbitrary, made up, noncanon reason that they've convinced themselves is true. I've said for years people just need to watch the show with their eyes open and employ at least a single brain cell, maybe go outside and touch some grass, talk to real people. Just as a start. 🤷‍♀️

3. That's not exclusive to ML sadly. People have been harassing creators and musicians for years. Not to be a Swiftie on main, but Taylor has put out 5 albums since 2020. And that's still not enough for some of her fans. People are still demanding she announce her next rerecord rather than just sitting and enjoying all of the shit she's already given us. Entitlement has become a societal problem that bleeds into fandom. Everyone wants things bigger, better, faster. Capitalism really did a number on humanity.

Anyway, that's just my take on things. I've been here a long time, and just because I don't always point things out or say anything as of late doesn't mean I don't still notice it. I've just gotten jaded I think. It is what it is, so I stay in my corner with my friends and just have as good of a time as we can. 🤷‍♀️

#cat replies #asks #cat salts #i guess

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anti-rop · 11 months

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Yoyo, can you recommend any good Lord of the Rings (or just any Tolkien/Middle Earth) blogs to follow? I'm trying to find some more, but I'm new to Tumblr. Please and thanks 🙂

These are personally the ones I follow from my main blog: @author-morgan, many of them are sadly not super active anymore (but a lot of them have a tagging system in place for you to easily explore and reblog content — as these are still the same gifsets and posts that actively circulate the Tolkien/LotR fandom on tumblr) and for those that are more active at present I have '#the rings of power' and related tags blacklisted so I do not have to see content from that show.

ahobbitstale

alan-and-john

anunexpectedjourney

aragornarwen

askmiddlearth

bravelittlehobbit

caeldre

concerning-hobbits

darklingwoods

foreverlotr

fuckyeahlotrcast

fuckyeahrohan

fyeahfrodobaggins

fyelves

fymiddleearth

halflings

l0rd0ftherings

ladyofgondor

lonelysmaug

l-o-t-r

lotrdaily

lotrscenery

middle-earth-is-real

middleearthtimes

miricakes

prettylotrcaps

silmarillionquotes

the-fellowship

the-hobbit

the-last-march-of-the-ents

tlotrgifs

tolkienillustrations

tolkienquotes

tolkiensource

tossme

two-towers

As a tumblr veteran of nearly 15 years, my advice to you as a new blogger is to block often and blacklist as many tags as you need, as you are responsible for curating your experience here. There's hundreds and thousands of more LotR blogs out there, so go into the tags of the movies, books, your favorite characters and support the artists, writers, and gifmakers you see that are actively posting.

And don't forget, tumblr is not designed like other social media sites, only liking posts does nothing, you need to reblog what you enjoy. If you haven't done so already, change your pfp from the default and give yourself a blog name, otherwise people will think you are a bot and block you.

If anyone else has blog recommendations or tips for a tumblr newb, please share them!

#ask #answered #mine #i post LotR and Hobbit content on my main blog as well

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zorilleerrant · 10 months

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okay every time that "when people misinterpret your characters" post comes around I scroll through it to see who's getting misinterpreted (most people won't say, sadly, they even redact the names) and the conclusions I have come to this time are:

apparently people consider responding to popular fanon/canon interpretation in your own posts as "vaguing" and undeniably rude. (arguing on someone's post is obviously rude, but I still don't understand the urging to 'take it to discord' if you disagree about a character, that's what the blorbo site is for)

we are back to the obsession with canon and how it's "wrong" to see a character some way if that's not explicitly backed up by the text. people seem especially upset over the idea that someone who's a bigot in canon might. not be a bigot in someone's fanwork. like if someone wanted a character to stop being a bigot this is a flagrant misrepresentation of canon (wild)

somehow both that changing a character's canon sexuality is horrible and real life systemic injustice. and also characters shouldn't be straight and people who think of them as straight are doing it wrong

I don't know who "miguel o'hara" is but I hope I don't like him if I ever encounter his canon because his fans are mean

I'm thinking again of that post where someone was saying how people on the internet are too comfortable casually being rude to strangers. and like. that but also what's with the unnecessarily violent rhetoric people just drop casually

some people seem very concerned that ao3 has smut

a lot of people also got very upset that people want to explore violent characters' motivations and give reasons why they're doing things (seemingly on the assumption this excuses the actions)

it's somehow a moral imperative to tag if you interpret a character as more of a good/bad person than the reader does???

also I think again that people do not know what a twink is

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dervampireprince · 2 years

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just letting you know, "trans man x male" is an extremely gross way to put that.

and as a trans man i am aware of this, but when i post things i am using pre-existing tags that have already been made by the gwa subreddits i post the audios on and i can't deviate from that, and i use the same tags when i post audios on here and youtube because that's what tags are already known and used. of course i'd rather it be trans male x cis male, but i'm a trans man using tagging systems made by cis people and if i start putting TM4CM they will either be unsearchable, or on some subreddits won't even be allowed. as a trans man trying to make money that i need to live off of this please tell me how else i can do this because sadly i can't just start my own way of tagging things and hope people follow suite because no one else will copy me, i'm not well known.

do you think it doesn't make feel sick every time i use these tags? of course it does. i'm a trans man and i know that the word 'male' includes trans and cis men. do you think i enjoy using these tags? and i know if i used M4M and then boom surprise one of them is trans i would get so many transphobic comments from people who came expecting two cis male characters, i already get transphobic comments all the time.

any disgust towards this tagging system would be better aimed at the people who made it rather than the trans people who have to conform to it.

i'm sorry to anyone who disagrees with how i tag things with these tags i didn't create, and i'm very sorry for any trans people who are hurt by these tags. if i was in some position of authority online to change them and magically make every asmr and audio creator across reddit and youtube change them, then i would, but as i can't do that i'll continue to use them. i don't know what i can do to make these tags not upset people but also like... make a living? because these audios are a chunk of my income and i struggle to get other work for multiple reasons part of which is being trans so like i can't change the way i tag things or i literally will struggle to pay rent. that's the actual realness of it. as stupid and chronically online as that sounds. and maybe that makes me selfish, okay. so be it.

but please at least know and realise i'm not using these tags out of transphobia, but am using them as a trans man who doesn't have the clout to change things and is too worried about losing followers and income if i no longer use the standard audio tagging system that is used everywhere across different websites. and if you think that's wrong of me, okay. but know that i also think it's a gross way to put things and that i'm a trans content creator and not a transphobe.

this was probably too long of a response. but if anyone asks this again, as it has been asked before, i'm just going to link back to this ask. i hope people understand my reasons for using the tags, even if you don't like that i use them.

#ive talked about my feelings on this before and i hope this is the last time i have too #nsftumblr #nsft audios #the vampire vents #the vampire answers

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mysteriouslybluepirate · 1 year

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What do y'all do for a living? (How do you balance fandom and work/living a life?)

I'm not doing this as a way for y'all to dox yourself, but as people who are interested in fandom spaces, I'm curious.

Growing up I thought fandom was something I'd grow out of. Seeing how it's almost a decade since I joined up, I think I'm stuck here. Now entering the Adult world I'm learning to balance my private life obsessions and securing actual money to help me live.

So.

What do you do for work?

Does it allow you time to read/write fanfic in your free time, or is it a struggle to create?

What do you do that keeps you happy in a 9-5 work world. Do you just suffer through daily life knowing you'll come home and AO3 will be there? Cause I love to write, but it will always be a hobby.

I am taking a semester to just figure out what I want in life. Sadly not everyone can become a tattoo artist/barista/bar owner/librarian like in modern AUS.

I'm currently looking at mortuary studies, but god, only making slightly more than 24 an hour at a good funeral home seems rough. Especially cause that's about the cap in wages if you don't want to own the business. Plus I'd need to go out of state for school, so what was a reasonably priced program still averages out to a ridiculous number in loans.

Teaching English to kids, as a dyslexic person who had to teach myself, is a dream. I could help students who were abandoned by the system learn to love reading like I did. But poverty wages? I live in a rural city, no way am I bagging anyone to support me in the next ten years!

How do you balance fandom and work life?

Rant below if you need to!

(tagging all the fandoms I follow cause I'd love to hear a wide variety of responses. this is totally not a way for me to hear real-life people tell me jobs that have good/bad work-life balance)

#ofmd #sherlock holmes #the witcher #izzy hands #israel hands #jaskier #stede bonnet #edward teach #supernatural

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bookishfeylin · 2 years

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Hi again! Thank you for responding to my question and for being so sweet! <3 I'm new to your blog and have been scrolling through your posts and I feel so seen and safe here.

To answer your question, the reason I think Bryce is a WOC is because her biological father is white and her mother's skin color was never described. Her mother's description is very short and vague (long black hair, dark eyes, full lips) I think SJM did this intentionally to leave it up to the reader's imagination (If it's supposed to be her idea of representation, it's poorly done) But Bryce must have gotten her naturally tanned skin from somewhere, so I assumed her mom was either brown or black. There are only like two artworks of Bryce's mom and she has brown/tan skin in both of them so It's nice to know I'm not the only one who imagines her like that.

Aww, I'm glad you feel welcome here anon!

So based on your response, it seems like there are several issues at work here:

A) Fandom defaulting to view undescribed characters as white. Due to white supremacy nearly all of us (in the west, at least) default to believing a character is white when they aren't properly described. We are raised thinking of white people as the default human being, and sadly this has dangerous real-world ramifications, like doctors often struggling to identify signs and symptoms of some diseases on darker skin, because they were only taught how to do so on white people, and pulse oximeters (what we use to check oxygen levels in the hospital) being more likely to get incorrect readings on darker skin because they were designed with only white people in mind. This combination is deadly in healthcare. It's not intentional malice, it's simply our society so deeply entrenching in us that the default human being has pale white skin that we don't think about developing technology like pulse oximeters that work for dark skin, or expanding medical practices to correctly identify the symptoms of certain diseases on darker skin. It's systemic racism. So yes, we live in a society that teaches us all to view white people as the default human being, and people assuming Bryce and her mother are white when they very well could not be is a minor expression of that.

B) Stans and Sarah alike using Bryce to undermine POC when we discuss the racism in her books. Sarah's books do not... treat POC well. At all. I've discussed Sarah's racism, predominantly in the ACOTAR series, here, here, here, and here, but if you want more stuff about Throne of Glass specifically I recommend checking out @battlestar-royco's old posts tagged anti sjm/anti throne of glass from around 2018 or so. The point is, Sarah is not... well she ain't doing well in the diversity department, and it's one of the main criticisms she receives. And Sarah stans despise any criticism of her books or writing. So when Bryce was described as "golden skinned," some stans used that opportunity to insist Bryce was a woman of color, despite no textual evidence to indicate that, so no one was allowed to complain about the racist writing plaguing Sarah's books anymore. As you said, it may have been purposeful on Sarah's part, but not because she truly wanted to leave Bryce's race up to the imagination--but to deflect any criticism she's faced for her poorly written characters of color.

So it's a multifaceted issue. Bryce's race isn't ever fully elaborated on, so she can be imagined as a woman of color, and the fact that most people default to seeing her as white and pale regardless speaks to a larger culture that views whiteness as the default. But some stans argue that Bryce's mother's race not being elaborated on=a person of color=amazing representation. Which it's... decidedly not.

#ask #anon #sjm critical #on media #racism #crescent city

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bruisedloverr · 1 year

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♡ Intro !

(Edited: February 11th 2024)

Hi! You can call me Lili, or Bunny (only here). I'm currently 23, and I use they/them and he/him! I'm genderfluid transmasc (?). This is my general NSFW blog, where I post art I can't post on @pandemieinverse, either for being NSFW or belonging to NSFW medias, even if the fanart itself is SFW. Also things that make me horny.

Right now I'm posting a lot about Degrees of Lewdity! Though I also post about my OCs. I'm considering doing a separate blog for the former, but I don't know lol.

All my art is just tagged as "my art". All my OC art is (should be) under "donnarose" (that's the name of the town they live in), each having their respective name tagged. Fandom art is tagged as "fanart", alongside the respective media and anything relevant. If the art itself is SFW, it will be tagged as so. If I write, my tag is "my writing". If it otherwise just me vocalizing thoughts it is tagged as "bunny talks".

I sadly don't have a consistent tagging systems for kinks lol, even when I tried. So I'm going to say I'm into a lot of things, including: breeding, impregnation (mostly male pregnancy if I'm quite honest, both cis and trans), bondage, knifeplay, bloodplay, gore, snuff, violence in general, breathplay, the occasional piss kink, crossdressing, petplay, CNC, blasphemy, and I think that's it lol.

There's some things I don't really like but for the most part if it is either between consenting adults or fictional stuff where no real people are getting harmed, then I don't care. Go nuts show nuts like this site used to say.

Expect gay shit between guys the most. And I guess that's all! Welcome to my blog ヾ(•ω•`)o

#pinned post

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chaoticgenders · 2 years

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Part 4 of re-coining/designing pro-endo/endogenic "system"-made flags because I can and fuck you.

A few rules/please-know-this, of this shit:

I'm not telling who made the flag, they don't deserve the attention. (There's also a chance a fucking dumbass will go harassing people and as much as I don't wanna, and I do wanna put endos on blast, I know it's not a good thing to do...so I won't.)

I have not harassed anyone or disobeyed anyone's DNI's, if I ever remake a flag or re-coin something (what ever the fuck you wanna call it, idc.) it's because I only recently realized a a orientation I was using was coined by an endo or I saw something I wanted to use coined by an endo. (I block every pro endo/"endo system" I come across, keep this in mind.), or it's just something IK you'd guys would like.

I don't care your opinion on it, I'm only doing this because I'm bored. It's really not that srs lmao.

I will only stop if anything genuinely life-threatening and serious happens, which I doubt. /lh

I'm not proving anything by doing this, btw. I'm just bored and don't want my genders being coined by ableists.

All posts along the lines of this will have "#remaking endo flags" as a tag!

Now...onto the gender I've re-coined/remade!

Pastlientation (Past-lie-in-taeshun)

This entire thing was p cool yet sadly it was coined by an endo, rip. I won't be making a entire carrd like they did (the carrd isn't even finished so this will probably go out of date lol) because fuck that. So all information will be on here. Enjoy~

Pastlieintation is a term describing someone's identity that's is influenced by/affected by a past life or past lives. This entire concept and umbrella term is based on having a connection to what you were in your past life, but not being it. The prefix is "past-", you can have any suffix.

Current terms:

Past-orientations; orientations that someone is still connected to due to having been them in a past life (eg. pastlesbian)

Past-genders; genders that someone is still connected to due to having been them in a past life (eg. pastdemiboy)

Past-species; species that someone is still connected to due to having been them in a past life - this overlaps with spiritual otherhearted and similar subterms, but past-species can be used to specify past lives (eg. “my pastspecies is a dog”)

Past-ages; ages that someone is still connected to due to having been or having passed at that age in a past life - this can not be used to act as if you are currently that age, your current age is most important (eg. “my past-age is 32”)

Anyone can coin a past-orientation, past-gender, etc without permission. Go fuck wild, just don't be a racist, pedo, ableist, dickhead! And...

PLEASE DO NOT USE THIS TERM FOR WHAT'S LISTED BELOW:

• Past-races, Past-cultures, and similar • Past-disabilities, and similar • Past-neurodivergencies and Past-mental disorders • Past-[real people]

I can't belive this was made by a pro-endo. Read your own rules.

Pastlientation identities should never be used to enter spaces you aren't allowed in, and if you are using this in that way, you're using it incorrectly. Past-ages,orientations, and species don't align with someone's current identity doesn't give anyone the right to enter said communities.

#remaking endo flags #aemogai #endos dni #mogai #anti endo mogai #safespace #mogaipride #xenogender #gender coining #lgbtqia+#xenogenderflags #gendercoining

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lostplay · 1 year

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Game 39: Kingdom Hearts 3

I don't think I'm trending new ground here when I say Kingdom Hearts 3 is a disappointment. The sequel just promised so much about itself that it honestly had no hope of pleasing everybody. What I didn't think would happen however is how much the game spreads itself thin to make it feel like there is a bunch of things to do. There is a ton of great things to say about Kingdom Hearts 3, but there is a lot here that makes it feel a bit rushed when it comes down to it.

What I can absolutely praise Kingdom Hearts 3 for is the sheer amount of content we got for it. KH3 contains game & watch style mini-games, a full on cooking mini game, a bubble bobble type puzzle game, photo mode, and an entirely revamped gummi ship mode that let's you explore full maps. Throughout playing KH3 I consistently thought about how neat the whole thing was. Nearly every little thing here is thought through to the point that little details kinda just add an extra charm to how well they are crafted. I genuinely can't express how floored I was when I found out how many mini games the Game & Watch like titles had. Like honestly, I'm sure people would buy little handheld titles like this in real life. The fact that the gummi ship mode is like it's own little arcade shooter also really helped break up the pacing by giving a somewhat challenging and neat mode to play with when we just want to explore. The photo mode even adds a much needed collection element with the hidden mickey's being scattered throughout the worlds. Honestly as much as I hate the brainwashing technique; gamifying it was the way to go. Add that together with a bunch of different mini games in game, and you really start to see that what KH3 did was pay attention to everything, but the main game.

Games being easy shouldn't be seen as a problem, and I would rather encourage it over making something super hard. Providing a challenge is always a unique issue to any given game because each gameplay style is just different, from both players and games alike. So what did KH3 do? Why it made it have so many extra flashy super moves, power ups, summons, and tag team attacks that the only issue is picking the next attack. Really I can't express how easy this game is without mentioning the ride summons. I love the ride summons, I think they are super stylish and a fun thing to do as a sort of mini-game. Sadly though, KH3 doesn't really limit how often you can use them, and constantly feeds you the attacks roughly one minute in any given battle. That is, of course, if you aren't also given a team attack or transformation gauge, and even then it's all in all likely you have all three up to pick from. The game literally feeds you so much "super meter" attacks that I honestly forgot I had additional summons and magic to use. Kingdom Hearts has never been a super nuanced combat system, even at it's peak with KH2, largely the majority of the attack strings are just pressing X at certain times. Here though? You just get over stuffed with options that your brain and battles can't actually engage with combat unless it's something as long as a boss fight. Even then, the problem just becomes using these super moves on the bosses till they die; it truly feels like KH3 just doesn't trust the player enough to give them a proper challenge. Perhaps what is most maddening about this though is just the fact the combat is actually good? Something that returned, and what I love about Dream Drop Distance is the movement options. You are able to dash, jump, and even ride rails like you were in the previous game straight from the start. While you don't have full access to everything right away; you are given enough to ensure you can work toward more movement options later on. This combined with combat has always made Kingdom Hearts far more engaging to me as it gives it a lot more style compared to the previous two entries where combat just feels far too slow and stiff. Being able to block and dodge immediately is a standard, and the fact the previous two main games hide that away always hurt it's combat. As previously addressed though, any combat you do get into is often over before you know, overloaded with some super moves, or can just be walked passed. The only time it actually feels you are playing the game really is during mini-games or boss battles, and it really is a shame because I honestly do see the combat here be on par with what we got with Dream Drop Distance, although far more busted.

One thing KH3 solidly did right tho is the Disney worlds. While some have far more to do in others, or at least feel constructed better story wise, each one has plenty of weight to them. I don't think every world out there is particularly amazing, but compared to the worlds of the past, it feels like it's an actual place. Like Tangled's world for instance. While I can tell there is quite a bit of context taken out, largely the game provided enough there that made me absolutely engrossed with the world and characters. I felt like we were on a proper journey to deliver Rapunzel to the Corona kingdom, and it hit enough emotional beats to feel invested. Even places like the Big Hero 6 World where it kinda feels slapped on story wise still has an incredibly large city to explore. Nothing feels like it was left out, or repeated when it comes to the gameplay of these worlds, and it's something I'm finally happy to see come to fruition. Unfortunately, there is nothing to help save the story of Kingdom Hearts. While I know some like to argue that you just need to pay attention, or that the Disney worlds are the less interesting part; Kingdom Hearts 3 most boring bits are the continuing story. Like I have played through all the kingdom hearts games that are needed to be played through with the exception of the mobile game, and I can tell you that the only extra Kingdom Hearts game you need to play is Birth By Sleep. Without knowing the context of why Aqua is in the darkness helps a lot when the game finally decides to have a plot, it still doesn't save the rest of the story. Constantly they interject these Disney worlds with a random black cloak members, but in the end the only real take away is that sometimes characters outside of Sora will interact and it's nice. The rest of the time though? It's like they pop up and say "the plot is going to happen Sora BOOO" then screw off. Even the "final payoff" of getting these battles together is just Sora taking everyone's victories away. There is absolutely no fanfare for other characters in a way that matters, and honestly it's perhaps the biggest downer when it comes to Kingdom Hearts 3. Long way to say it, but Kingdom Hearts 3 is just a game that shoved itself with so many things that it legitimately forgot to be a proper conclusion to it's own story. Even with all the other games under my belt it's still a hapless mess, and one that even gets in it's own way when it's trying to be fun. Still to say I didn't enjoy it is a lie. This is legit one of my favorite Kingdom Hearts game because it just has so many neat things to it. I kinda respect a lot of aspects to it because a lot of the things they have been working on, or that they introduce, work so well. I just implore anyone wanting to play the game to not do so for the story or challenge, but because you can explore. Just don't look for any real substance here, it's just an average game with a very stylish way of failing to met expectations.

#Kingdom Hearts #Kingdom Hearts 3 #Kingdom Hearts Series #PS4 #Square Enix #Lost Reviews #lostleader #LOSTLEAD8R #Forever you don't need to play all the games #the most homework you need to play 3 is Birth By Sleep #Literally was going to be titled Kingdom Hearts 0 #You can just play 1 - 3 and you would understand enough #you are not missing out on lore #not really #the lore is #is it cool?#Kingdom Hearts is just a game about being cool #Wish people talk about the game and watch like games more #we getting physical collection of those?

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pbandjesse · 2 years

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Its the first day of camp!! Today was a busy day! But I am showered and hanging out in my hammock and things are good. My stomach hurts. Stress maybe. But I am happy.

I slept well last night. I woke up a few times but that was okay. James said goodbye and I slept for another hour.

When I got up for real I felt pretty good. I got dressed and kissed Sweetp and made the first trip to the car. James brought some of it down for me already. But I wanted to jsut be holding the container with Frenchy and nothing else. So that would be the last thing I did.

He actually wasn't to hard to catch. And I got him on the container James left for me. Which was a sherbet container. And then we left.

I got breakfast. The lady at the drive through had the prettiest voice! I told her such and she was like thank you!!! And it was a nice breakfast.

I got out to camp and was a little frustred that everyone was wearing the new green shirts we got and I was wearing last year's grey. But I would go change and everything was fine.

We all met up at the trading post. Me and CJ walked back to my building to get my water. And then there we donuts and a meeting about expectations for the week. I would be assigned first point of contact! Where basically I would stand down by the entrance and direct people to the correct roads and cabin drop offs. A lot of responsibility! The first smiling face!

But I had time until then. Everyone else was moving in. I had a few things to put away. But I also just had a snack and chilled in my hammock. Some people came up to work on name tags. And I shared my cherries and we all tried to tie knots in them. Apparently in Ireland getting cherries at all is a luxury so that was cute that I got to share.

I would remake the bracelet James gave me before they proposed. I have an idea about changing it every year but I don't know. I really like the new Kay out and the small beads I added. It was fun to make it brand new.

And me and Laura put on temporary tattoos which was silly and fun. Sadly mine came off way to easy. But that was okay.

I would head down to the bears (which is the statues by the entrance) to wait.

It was a hard two hours in the sun. I was very glad I thought to bring my water. And my sheet was not sure helpful because it was missing a bunch of names. But I was able to send people where they needed to be and I tried to be super cheery and I recognized a ton of the kids. And a few of them even told their parents how cool I was. Excellent. I am winning as counselor, something normal to want and possible to achieve.

I got to say hi to basically everyone. And it was fun! I tried to stay hydrated and honestly while you're here you have to kind of turn off the part of your brain that is uncomfy being sweaty. I can focus on it and be upset or I can ignore it. It's not a perfect system. And sometimes I do get to hot. But I do better then you would expect for how much of a baby I can be about extreme temperatures.

Chris would come get me in the gaiter so I didn't have to walk all the way up the hill. Appreciated that very much. I was feeling really tired from being in the sun. So after I dropped off my clipboard I would go up to my building and rinse off my arms and legs under my spicket and I felt a lot better after that.

I chilled up here. Read my book for a bit. Just enjoyed my own company which exactly what I wanted. And it was a good end of the day.

I packed my little shower bag and got ready to walk over to dinner. Specialty gets their own special table this year! And me and Brayden would get all our food and stuff. I helped pull things from the kitchen for everyone. Got some laughs when I was using my skirt as essentially an oven mitt. But my hands weren't burnt so that's all that mattered.

Dinner was nice. Needed salt but that's fine. I appreciated the kitchen making veggie nuggets and that they are going to make an effort to make the vegetarian food match the regular meals. So I won't feel left out.

After dinner I went to take a shower in cabin five like last year. I could not get the shower to get hot. I was a little frustred but a cold shower with better water pressure then Yukon was something at least. Hopefully I can actually get it to be warm tomorrow.

I was sweaty still when I got back to my building. But it's starting to cool off. I had been outside but a storm starting rolling in. It is supposed to be rainy tomorrow. But it's also me and Jamess engagement anniversary. So they are going to try to come out to me. I am looking forward to that. Feels special.

I am going to try to do some sewing and listen to a podcast. I am looking forward to getting some rest. Because tomorrow I jump right into my classes and I'm really excited. I hope it goes great.

Sleep well everyone. Take care of yourself!! I hope you are feeling safe.

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