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lovifie · 1 month

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Well, I Wasn't On That Tunnel ❤️

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Please don't look too much into the plot holes. Canon can suck my ass, I'm making my own, xoxo 💋

Pairings: Ghoap x Reader.

Warnings: Poly relationship, mentions of death, mentions of guns, rotating POV (mostly Simon's), Spoilers → amnesia, smut, voyeurism

“THE TUNNEL IT'S COLLAPSING! FOLLOW MAKAROV! I'LL TAKE JOHNNY OUT!”

That was the last thing Ghost heard of you.

It's been months since Johnny and you were declared KIA on that mission.

You weren't even meant to be inside, you were the medic, you were supposed to wait outside.

But the moment Makarov shot Johnny he panicked.

Ghost panicked.

And Simon panicked.

You came in running, panting for the effort of carrying with you the medical bag half your size.

You were the one who told them to run. To go after Makarov and kill him.

You were trying to wake up Johnny, Ghost knew it was a lost cause. He couldn't find the pulse, he was gone.

His Johnny was gone.

The last thing he expected was that he was about to lose you too.

Once outside, he kept looking at the tunnel. Waiting for you to come out, whether it was dragging Johnny's body or alone; it didn't matter. You needed to get out.

But after the tunnel collapsed and you didn't get out, it was Price who finally pushed Ghost away.

He barely remembers getting back to base, doesn't remember what Price kept telling him on the helicopter, doesn't remember skipping meals for days, doesn't remember crying himself to sleep for weeks.

But he remembers your face, he remembers Johnny's face.

Oh, what a coward he was.

Two people that he loved, that found their way under his skin right into his heart. Two people that Simon wanted to grow old next to, two people that made Simon want to wake up every morning.

And he was still not brave enough to confess his feelings to neither of them.

He used to stay awake late at night dreaming about how he would do it. After a long time of debating with himself, figuring out what those feelings inside of him were.

Until he figured out it was love, only to them have to face the complex situation of loving two people at the same time.

But even how complicated of a man Simon Riley was, when it comes to his wants it all turns simpler. If on the menu there are two dishes that he likes? He is getting both, obviously. Why choose?

So if all his lonely and twisted life he had never loved anyone, now he suddenly fell in love with two people. He wasn't going to give up one of them and their love just for society's norms.

Murder is also against society’s norms, and he gets paid for it.

But it was too late now.

Maybe it was for the better.

He could lie to himself, agree that he never confessed because it was not his destiny.

Not because they would have not loved him back.

Not because they would have been scared of him.

Not because they wouldn't have been able to see past his mask.

Not because they would have rather dated each other than him.

It's easier like this.

Simon knows how to mourn a loved one.

What he doesn't know is, how it's possible he got a message from you this morning when you died four months ago.

You are stepping out of the shower, skin warm from the water and baby hairs sticking to your forehead; when someone knocks on the bathroom door.

You furrow your eyebrows at how hard they knock, the whole door shaking with it.

“Calm down, I'm almost finished.” You grumble, pulling the towel around your body.

You drag your feet over the towel on the floor to walk closer, and open the door annoyed by the insistent knocking.

“I told you I am almost finish-” Your words are cut off by the barrel of a gun right on your face.

You don't even have time to panic, because you immediately recognise the stupid skeleton gloves holding the gun.

“Simon?” You whisper,scared that if you talk any louder he will disappear. Price and Gaz are behind him, slowly lowering their gun when they see it's you.

There is a glistering layer over Ghost's eyes that if you didn't known any better you'd think are tears.

You push his gun down, the man still immobile as if you were the ghost; and you jump into his arms, circling his neck with your arms.

“It worked! It finally worked!” You exclaim, tears slowly running down your cheeks. “I have been trying to contact any of you for months, it finally fucking worked!”

Ghost struggles to tell whether you are laughing or crying, a mix of the two. But he can't focus on that, he can only focus on your skin under his gloves.

God, how he hated his gloves right now.

He bites the tip of his finger, pulling the glove off spitting it somewhere. And he snakes his hand under your towel.

He knows is improper, perverted even; but he needs it. He needs to feel your warm skin under his palm, your heart beating loud and fast.

He surrounds your waist, hands big enough to rest on your ribs, right under your chest.

Boom, boom… boom, boom… boom, boom…

He sighs, melting onto you, his tears getting absorbed by the mask on his face. He hugs you tighter, daring you to slip from his fingers again.

He bites his lips, copper taste on his tongue, to prevent himself from sobbing.

But the sobs can be heard, and Ghost it's almost disappointed with himself until he notices your body shaking.

It's you who is crying.

And he panics again, pulling back to look at you and you cup your face, apologizing.

“I'm sorry. I tried my best, I really did.” He can barely understand what you are trying to tell him between sobs. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry.”

He shushes you quickly, he understands; the survivor’s guilt is a special kind of poison. But he understands, he feels it too.

“It's alright, love. You are alright, everything is going to be alright.” He hugs you again, resting your head on his chest. Mourning Johnny will be easier if you are together, he now hates himself for thinking you were dead; for accepting it.

For mourning you for months and now having you on his arms.

Warm and breathing.

He can only imagine what you went through.

You entered the tunnel because he called for you, and then he left you inside with a corpse.

How did you get out?

How did anyone see you get out?

How did you find a house?

How did you survive alone with the guilt?

Are the scars on your shoulder for getting out or were they always there?

Were you trapped under the debris?

For how long?

But that doesn't matter, he knew you were strong. That you were clever. That you were better than him.

He already knew that.

Gaz and Price remain silent, reading in the situation that there is something underlying that they don't know. Letting the two of you, have your moment.

It's only when Gaz hears the almost unnoticeable steps get closer that he moves, turning his body and almost dropping his weapon in the process when he sees him.

“Johnny?” That's all he is able to see.

And that's all that is needed to hear.

Price and Ghost whip their head around like they have been smacked, coming face to face with the man.

There are still bandages on the side of his head, he looks thinner, less muscles, sunken eyes and dark bags. But it's Johnny.

A scarred, angry Johnny.

Holding the pistol on his hands pointing to Ghost's head.

Looking at him as if Simon was his greatest enemy.

“Johnny…” He tries to talk to him, keeping you behind his back by instincts.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP! WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?” Johnny shouts, his hands are shaking.

That explains it, why he look like a madman, why he looks so scared under the rage, why he keeps trying to look under him.

“Johnny, it's alright.” You finally say, moving from behind Ghost, softly pushing his arm back. You walk ahead, still only on the towel; and you walk up to Johnny. You rest your hand on the pistol, pushing it down with ease.

You raise your other hand to the men, the signal of “wait”.

Johnny looks at you with utter confusion, eyes shaking moving around your face for any kind of explanation. His hand move around you, checking for any damage; the hand that doesn't have the gun clinging to the towel.

You cup his face between your hands, the man bending down slightly to make it easier for you to reach; you whisper something to him making him relax almost immediately.

And then you kiss him.

On the cheek, right beside the nose making him close his eyes for a second.

But it feels like a stab on Simon's heart.

He tries to think rationally, you were just calming him down. He knows Johnny is always desperate for physical contact, that's all. Nothing else.

He really tries to think logically, but logically the two of you are dead and buried under a tunnel. Not standing at the end of the hall, kissing and comforting each other.

Something about it, about the possibility there is something more going on between Johnny and you; sends Simon's inner gears spinning.

He sees the virtual space between the two of you, slowly getting in the shape of his body.

You whisper something to Johnny, he nods, touching your forehead with his for a second, before walking back. Looking at Simon with hate on his cerulean blue eyes.

You sigh, watching Johnny move and turn to the three still shell-shocked.

“As far as I can tell…” You whisper, once you are close to them. “He only remembers up to when he was 20, little more, little less.”

“So he doesn't remember anyone?” Price asks after a moment.

You shake your head. “Not that he hasn't asked me about, he asked about some people but I don't know them. He thought I was a nurse when he woke up.” You explain.

“What happened in the tunnel?” Gaz asks, looking behind you to check Johnny is not back. “How did you get out? And him? He was dead.”

You shake your head again. “Not yet. Almost… but not yet. I-”

“Bonnie! You want coffee or tea?!” Johnny's voice makes everyone jump.

“Coffee, please!” You answer without skipping a beat and turn to them. “I'll explain it later, alright? It's not the place nor the time.”

Price nods once. “Get dressed, I'll contact the pilot to let them know we are flying back tonight, right?”

“Roger that.” The three of you reply almost by muscle memory.

“I'll be fast, don't rile him up.” You say, before entering the bedroom closing it behind you.

Ghost feels Price's eyes on him.

Wondering.

Asking.

What's between you and him?

What's between you and Soap?

What's inside his mind?

“Tea is ready.” It all gets interrupted by the amnesiac man calling them to the kitchen.

They walk together, sitting around the table. Gaz and Price find it almost easy to talk to Soap, about how happy they are to see him again, about how they are flying back later, easy chatter.

But Ghost can't.

Not when Soap finally smiles at Price making fun of Gaz's cap and Ghost's breath is knocked out of his chest.

That's his boy.

Breathing and warm.

Just like you.

He knows it's the universe talking, telling him not to fuck it up again.

Still, he feels his heart sink every time Soap looks at him with such a sour look. Offended even. His boy.

That would jump at any opportunity to impress him, to earn his respect, his affection. Now locked like he wanted to stab him on the chest, twisting the knife in the process.

He knows it's because of you, the way the man stared at his hand as you pushed it out of the towel didn't go unnoticed by Simon.

Not the greatest first impression.

Does it count as a first impression if he has known the man for years?

You walk into the kitchen not much later, Johnny's eyes lightening at seeing you; his saviour.

You walk past Ghost, your arm resting on his shoulder as you bend down to slightly knock your head against Soap's.

And that's it, that all Simon's needs. To be involved. He doesn't need to be in the middle of you two, he is fine with being in the sidelines, but he needs to be a part of it.

He knows you are on his side, you remember him unlike Johnny. You can be the bridge to get him to Johnny; to keep Johnny from running. Make a pack with him; keep the two of you close.

A turmoil of emotions keeps spinning inside Ghost's head, all the versions of himself wanting to be right.

The part of him he thinks is unable to love telling him to let the two of you alone, you are better of without him.

The part of him he thinks is unable to be loved telling him to not even try, save himself the rejection.

The part of him that is still unsure of what even are his feelings telling him to not get involved, that it would only confuse the two of you.

But then there is also that part of him. The part called Simon Riley; that still holds onto the chance of loving and getting love.

And he looks at you and Soap, the way Soap looks up to you. The way he used to look at him.

“Let's pack our things up, Johnny.” You say, patting Soap’s back. “The sooner we are back home, the better.”

And you smile at Soap so kindly, so wide, so warm.

He understands how you managed to calm Soap down. Waking up from what he assumed must be something close to a coma after getting shot on the head, not remembering anything, in pain, alone. And then you appeared, so soft and so kind.

He wouldn't blame Johnny if he was already in love with you, with you being literally the only thing he knows since waking up.

Johnny stands up, walking out of the kitchen but looking back to make sure you are walking behind him.

The two of you disappear down the hall, voices low as you move away.

“I can't believe they are alive…” Gaz comments, sipping his tea.

“Neither do I…” Price answers, sipping his. “Bloody necromancer…”

And you are, Simon was also dead before meeting you.

“I'm gonna check on them.” He says, downing the beverage on a gulp that burns down his throat.

He stands up, Price and Gaz look at him as he does. They are going to talk about him as soon as he gets out, but he doesn't care.

He has made his choice.

He loves you.

He loves Johnny.

He walks down the hall, seeing the door ajar.

His hand reaches the knob when he hears it.

His blood running cold.

“Johnny…”

It's your sweet voice moaning the name.

The unmistakable sounds of kisses inside the room.

“I don't like how he looks at you, bonnie.” The man whispers, his breathing unstable.

“He's your best friend, Joh-Ah!” You moan, interrupting yourself as you speak.

“I don't care! I don't know him. You are mine!” The man grunts, the sound of skin slapping slowly becoming more and more clear.

“Johnny…” You moan again, and Simon is sure that he can hear your cunt squelch around Johnny's length.

He opens the door the slightest bit, just enough for his eyes to see the way Johnny has you bent over on the bed.

With you laying on your stomach on the bed, legs hanging from him without strength to push yourself up. Johnny behind you, a foot on the ground and the other on the mattress as leverage to keep sinking into your weeping cunt.

Neither of you bothered to take off the clothes, simply lowered the pants enough for Johnny to get inside of you. Your pants pooling on your ankles, legs limp with the rhythm Johnny has settled.

Simon wishes he could see your face, pleasure painted on your expressions with your face buried on the mattress. Johnny keeps your hands on your back, keeping you pressed against the bed. But the only thing he can see is Johnny's back.

So he sees perfectly fine when the man turns his torso around, still thrusting into you, and looks at Simon.

He looks straight into Simon's eyes, who panic just for a second for getting caught peeking into their room, into them together.

But the Johnny smiles, not the adoration-filled smile he used to gift Simon with. Instead, is the smile filled with pride that he only kept for after winning a match or catching an enemy.

Johnny raises his hand to show him his middle finger.

As he mouths “Fuck you.”

And Simon wants to laugh.

Johnny wants to play?

Then they'll play.

Game's on.

@waiting-so-long

Taglist: @whos-fran @thevoidwriting @sklt987659 @kayden666 @dumb12bvtch1212 @thatonepupkai @darkangel4121 @risingofjupiter @spadekip @herefor-tojis-tits @soupinasock @marymustdie @arbesa-mind @cmbghost @multifandomheathenannie @tooloudarts @panikk-attackkk @reap3erslov3 @mothsdrabbles @ghosts-hoe @cassiecasluciluce @sleepdeprivedkat @lunamoonbby @hatterripper31 @contractedcriteria @cod-z @jaguarthecat @savagemickey03 @fraserbraw @rosiehale23 @keiva1000 @sw33tsnow @viisgrave @theloneshadow24 @loveandplanet @sobbingnshtting @dprmoon @simpsallthetime1997 @ladyxtiger @soapsmohawk-16 @nina6708 @katreintjie @sacvh @mothymunson @archenillo @thesinsoflust @sodavrr @yuki2129 @mikaronn

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cauliplea · 27 days

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it baffles me how many people twist the whole "Ratio hates idiots" thing even though it's literally anything but that.

did people not even read the character details? he doesn't hate idiots necessarily, it goes deeper than that. but for some reason people immediately think that Ratio would hate someone because they are less smarter that him.

No, he does not hate people with less knowledge, he hates people that doesn't try to gain more knowledge and better themselves, he hates people that think they are better than others simply because they are smarter, he only hates people that choose to stay ignorant.

the amount of ableism he recieves when it comes to his entire character makes me want to rip my hair out, no he would not hate you because you're bad at math, he'd recognize if you had any other talents other than math and praise you for it and try to help, no he wouldn't hate aventurine because you people think Aventurine is an idiot in his standarts (I'll get to this later)

he is a big softie yet it is always ignored just because he was rude to most of the characters we have seen which if you took two seconds to think about it's justified.

Herta, Screwllum and Ruan Mei are all part of genius society and they all share one personality trait which is being self-centered and that's what ratio hates the MOST. he doesn't like people that only care about themselves, so how could anyone think that someone that hates selfishness be selfish?

I do love herta, Screwllum and Ruan Mei but you have to agree they are selfish when it comes to their goal, all of genius society is, they all do things for themselves and not others unlike Ratio, which is a common theme since you can notice Nous only recognizing people that seek knowledge for themselves and not others like Ratio.

When it comes to his relationship with Aventurine I'm glad people can recognize that he cares enough but there are still times where he's seen as cold hearted which is not true at all, this man is direct with what he feels whether it's care or hate, he didn't hesitate to call Sunday crazy and he wouldn't hesitate to show aventurine that he cares which he already does, just in his own confusing way.

I've also seen people call aventurine an idiot which I can't stand, how could you even muster up that idea? he is intelligent, Ratio literally sees him as an equal which could be another hard evidence on how he doesn't hate "Idiots" (since people think Aventurine qualifies as one because he couldn't go to school or learn academically. :|) he recognizes Aventurines talent and intelligence, the times he calls aventurine a fool or anything else is obviously affectionate and lighthearted.

the first scene they were on screen together the reason he insulted Aventurines knowledge he apologized afterwards when he realized that it wasn't Aventurines fault. (deleting the racism part because I've had MULTIPLE people bring up the fact that it was an act and I get it but I still dont think it was necessary since you don't have to be racist to make someone think you hate someone else.)

so no, Ratio isn't a cold hearted, mean asshole, he's lovely so please write him as lovely. it breaks my heart and hurts my autism when people mischaracterize him.

#dr ratio #hsr dr ratio #hsr #hsr aventurine #aventurine honkai star rail #aventio #raturine #he's autistic #they are all autistic

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jadeacereigen · 7 months

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Why I see Reigen as asexual

This is a very self-indulgent post, but it's his birthday today and I wanted to compile all the things about Reigen that make me see him as a fellow ace.

Please don't take this list too seriously! None of these are This Is Canon signs and some of them are just jokes. Also, it's pretty hard to find evidence of asexuality barring a character explicitly saying "hey i never feel sexual attraction" so bear with ne here.

1. That Scene With Dimple

Yeah, we all know the scene.

"But does love always have to come with sexual desires?" -Reigen Arataka

This is what almost asexual person asks at some point. It's just such an asexual quote. Society often conflates the two things as inherently hand-in-hand, but that's not true for everyone!

2. He never shows attraction to anyone

Now of course, the story is not primarily focused on him, and he's usually with Mob so he probably wouldn't be flirting in front of him. But there aren't even MOMENTS of him showing a smidge of attraction to other people, even when we see his life without Mob's presence. It really stands out in comparison to other goofy mentor figures in manga/anime who are commonly portrayed as hopeless flirts.

3. He's never been in a relationship before

When asked about his past romantic experiences in the official fanbook, he pretends he's had plenty of passionate romances and then describes a scene from Titanic before saying "Marriage is one of the countless types of lifestyles you can choose. It's best if everyone does whatever they want." So basically, despite being 29 years old at the time of the fanbook, he has had no significant romantic experiences and doesn't see himself getting married. (Even if he might be interested, as I'll explain in the next point.)

This is not exclusive to asexuality of course but it's a very common sentiment for ace people imo

4. He doesn't think he can be in a relationship

In Confession Arc, he has no idea how to ask someone out and has to cheat while giving advice to Mob. He also tells Serizawa afterward that if anyone saw him for who he really was, they'd turn him down right away.

But then, at least in the manga, he says that he hopes he can be in a relationship where he and his partner "can exist without distorting each other". So I think he does want to be in a relationship, he's just way too insecure about himself for many, many reasons.

I like to think one of these reasons is because he is asexual. It's a struggle for allo aces to find someone whose sexual preferences are compatible with ours, and yet it remains important to maintain our boundaries (aka not distort ourselves).

5. His anime outfit has ace flag colors

I mean. Gray, white, pink purple...

6. His reaction to a porn virus

Look at the face of this poor asexual man who spent an entire night trying and failing to get rid of a porn virus...

7. He is asexual

He is just asexual hope this helps (:

#jade speaks #mp100 #mob psycho 100 #reigen arataka

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muchosbesitos · 6 months

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treat her better part 2

pairing: miguel o’hara x fem reader

contents: angst, reader using someone 🤥 (sorta), unprotected p in v, face sitting

author’s note: hope you all enjoy this part <33 sorry it took so long (i got the planetarium part after watching bojack horseman 🫡)

word count: 4k

treat her better part one

"Wait, what?"

Out of all the things that Miguel could've said, this surprised you the most. Surely, he must've had some idea in the back of his head about how much he'd been neglecting this relationship. “I said I want to break up with you," you repeated, your hands moving nervously as you spoke. "No, no, I heard what you said. But I’ve done nothing but love you, so I'm not understanding why?" He responded, looking down at you as his brows furrowed.

The annoying beeping from his gizmo interrupted your train of thought and you hoped that for once, he would choose you over his other priorities. At least at the end, for what it's worth. "Maybe you should get that," you told him and he let out a small huff, rolling his eyes as he checked the gizmo. "Look, we'll talk about this when I get back home. You're overreacting about this," he said as he turned around and opened a portal to leave. You were unsure of why you felt a lingering disappointment at being left alone once more with the memory of the person you fell in love with.

You decided to lock up the doors and windows and disabled his access to the house through your gizmo. You hoped that it would be enough to convey to him that you weren't putting up with him anymore though a bit of doubt crawled up inside you. You were too much in your own head to get some sleep so you looked up at the ceiling as if it held some answer to your dilemma. You were just starting to fall asleep when a repeated tapping on your window ruined all chances of that happening.

"C'mon, stop being childish and open this damn window!" Miguel yelled from your bedroom window, tapping on it with much more intensity. You stayed in your spot and hoped that he didn't have half the mind to break your window. "It's raining! Look, we can talk about this whenever you want, just let me in!" He yelled once more and you felt a thump coming from next door, your neighbors tapping so you'd shut him up. Eventually Miguel left your window and you could finally breathe normally again, though you didn't get too much sleep that night.

You showed up to the Spider Society a couple days after that, taking a couple more days of your break since you weren't sure if you could handle being in the same building as Miguel. You did your best to ignore the whispers surrounding you and headed to the cafeteria to get a snack before your upcoming mission. You decided on getting a pan dulce with milk, sitting down alone as you scrolled through your gizmo to catch up. You only looked up when someone slid in the spot next to you, one of the more recent recruits of the society.

"Hey darling, I couldn't help but notice how upset you looked all here alone so I thought I'd check up on you," he told you, flashing his teeth at you. You offered a noncommittal smile and gave him your name. "That sounds beautiful. Tell me, what are you doing here all by yourself?" He inquired, leaning a bit forward as he spoke. "I'm going through a break-up right now, so I'm not exactly pleasant to be around," you responded with a small shrug, hoping that he'd leave you alone after that. "Well if you ever need a shoulder to cry on or a dick to ride on, just know that I'm here to service you," he remarked, winking at you.

You were certain you'd heard him wrong and you were about to say something when you heard your name being called behind you. You turned around to face Miguel and he looked like he would kill the guy next to you if his eyes were bullets. "I need to discuss something with you in my office," he told you bluntly and you decided to stand up to follow him, choosing the least uncomfortable option at the moment. "Hey man, what's your deal? I was trying to spit game and you totally ruined my chances," the guy stood up, trying to size up Miguel but failing miserably.

"My deal is that I want to talk to one of my employees and you're acting like your miserable pick up line is working. I'd suggest getting back to work given that you're still on probation," Miguel responded, looking down at the man as he spoke. The guy could've resembled a bobblehead with the way he nodded at Miguel, leaving as quick as he could. You walked back to Miguel’s office in silence, wondering what he could possibly have to talk to you about. Though you couldn't help but hope that it was work-related, a part of you wanted him to acknowledge how much he missed having you around.

You stood around awkwardly in Miguel’s office as you waited for him to speak and you found yourself making conversation with LYLA to try to break the silence. "LYLA, can you leave the room please?" He asked her, coming closer to you. LYLA brought her hand up to salute him before she disappeared, leaving you alone with Miguel. "Is this about work?" You asked him, swaying from foot to foot nervously. "No, it's about our relationship. I feel like we left some things unsaid," he responded, grabbing two chairs from the side and pulled them closer.

You took a seat and waited for Miguel to speak, unsure of what more you could say to him. "I want to know why you broke up with me," he told you, his red eyes boring into you as he waited for a response. "I broke up with you because it felt like I was more so dating the memory of you at the end rather than you. I stuck around hoping that one day you'd realize how much you were hurting me with this whole absent love thing but it didn't happen," you answered with complete sincerity as you looked at him. "I'm sorry for not being what you needed. You deserve better than me."

You blinked as you looked at him dumbfounded, unsure if you'd heard him correctly. "I never wanted someone better than you. I just wanted you to do the bare minimum in our relationship, I just wanted you to care enough about me to be better! But your only excuse is that I deserve better?" You raised your voice as you spoke, standing up from the chair. You were about to leave the room when Miguel grabbed your arm, stopping you from reaching the door.

"I can change you for you, I promise," he whispered, holding your arm so you couldn't leave while he was speaking. "I don't want you to change for me. Because then you'll end up treating me like I matter for a couple days or weeks before you go back to disregarding me and then the cycle repeats. If you want to change, good for you, but don't do it just because of me," you said, leaving the room before you burst out into tears. A part of you couldn't help but wish he'd cared enough to say these things while the two of you were together.

You were unsure if it was because he was something familiar and you just needed to find some release or if it was your subconscious speaking, but you called Miguel to come over to your place that night. You were regretting the decision the more that you waited for him to come to your apartment, but you decided to brush those worries away. It would just be friendly ex sex and that would be it. No strings and no attachments.

All the attachments that you held towards Miguel came rushing through you when you opened the door. You invited him in and let him make himself at home, watching as he navigated through the space like it was his first time being there. "Do you want some water?" You offered him, walking over to the kitchen but he stopped you before you stepped foot in there. "What are we doing here? I have a feeling you didn't invite me here at 12 just to ask me if I wanted some water," he inquired, looking down at you as he analyzed your expression. "I thought that maybe we could use each other for some relief.."

You and Miguel eventually ended up in your bedroom, skipping over the kissing and engaging in some minimal foreplay so as to not blur the lines of this agreement. "Sit on my face," he told you, his face completely serious as he laid down on your bed. You'd done it a couple times when the two of you were together but you were always so afraid of suffocating him. "Stop being in your head so much. I wouldn't ask you to do it if i didn't enjoy doing it."

You sat on his chest as you started to move towards his face, your clit rubbing up against one of the ridges of his abs. You couldn't help the moan that escaped you and he let out a small chuckle. "Ab riding? That seems something worth exploring at a later time," he murmured, his hands on your hips as you settled on top of him. He started off slow, licking around your folds as he got himself acquainted to the taste of you once more. "Missed this pussy so much," he said, delivering a slap to your pussy before he began his attack.

Your hands flew down to his hair, holding you in place as his tongue went in and out of your hole, tasting every juice that your cunt was releasing. Your hips began swiveling against his mouth as your clit rubbed up against his nose, working in tandem with his mouth. You looked down to see his eyes closed as he focused on what he was doing, treating you like you were the finest meal he'd ever tasted. His tongue continued its assault as you kept coating his face with new arousal, your juices glistening on his face as he slurped them up.

He slowly inserted his finger into your cunt, a loud squelching noise following after. He bit down on your thigh, the pain contorting with the pleasure as your cunt squeezed around his finger, coating him with fresh arousal as you unclenched. "Pussy only belongs to me, don't forget it," he whispered before his tongue went straight to your clit. He rolled his tongue around the nub, his finger curling to hit that spongy spot that had your toes curling. You brought your hands up to your breasts, pinching the nipples and tugging at them as you stimulated yourself even further.

You felt your orgasm washing over you like a tidal wave, the sensation too much to bear. You wouldn't have been sitting up if it wasn't for Miguel’s tight grip on your thighs as he licked away at your release, eager to taste every drop that you would give him. You got off him a while after and he got on top of you, kissing down your neck. He left a bite on your collarbone before pulling back, probably remembering the no intimacy pact that you two had agreed upon.

"You sure you want to do this?" He asked you, stroking your thighs as he waited for a response. "I do," you told him, watching as he aligned his cock to your pussy. You felt the sting forming in your vagina as he slid inside, stretching you out already with just the tip inside. You did your best to relax and he slid in with much more ease, bottoming out. He leaned down, pressing a kiss on the tip of your nose before he slowly started to take his cock out. All the air from your lungs escaped like a deflating balloon when he pushed his cock back in, filling you to the brim.

Your hands went up to his forearms as you gripped him, holding him as a lifesaver while he thrusted in you. His hips snapped with every movement, his balls slapping against your folds. Your moans filled up the room as he kept going, treating you like you were going to vanish at any moment. "I love you," he whispered so faintly that you weren't sure you heard him right. You chose to disregard it because thinking about it too much would just give you more confusion later on. He kept up with his thrusts, placing your legs on his shoulders as the new angle allowed for him to get deeper inside of you.

Your walls clenched around his cock, almost like they wanted to entrap him with every movement that he made. He played with your nipples, his rough hands kneading them and rolling them between his fingers. One of his hands went down to your clit, rubbing it at the same pace as he was to your nipples. You felt yourself coming up to that crescendo, the fall being nothing less than satisfying. Your juices coated his cock completely, providing him with the easy access that he needed to thrust inside of you. Your walls clenched around him once more and he came inside, his cock pummeling his cum deep inside of you.

He rolled off to the side eventually, catching his breath before the next round. You were coming down from your euphoria, taking a couple minutes to catch your breathing when you felt tears rolling down your cheeks. You weren't aware that you were crying until Miguel pointed it out, wiping your tears away with his pointer finger. "What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" He asked you, using a gentle tone with you as he rubbed small circles on your stomach.

"I thought I could do this whole no strings attached sex with you, Miguel. But the truth is that I can't. I'm still so in love with you and I'm really trying not to be. I'm not completely sure why I called you over," you responded and he retracted his hand, getting up from the bed. You wanted reassurance from him at that moment but he wasn't going to give you any. "Stay safe, okay? I'll see you at work when you feel ready to show up," he told you, putting his clothes back on.

You couldn't help but bury your head into the pillow that he'd laid on, smelling the familiar fragrance of his cologne and shampoo. More tears rolled down your cheeks throughout the night but you couldn't be bothered to wipe them away. You looked up at the ceiling as you tried to fall asleep, eventually ending up in a restless sleep at 3 am.

You ended up going to work the following day, not willing to give Miguel that power over you and you headed straight for his office. You were about to ask him about an anomaly report that had popped up on your gizmo when you looked up to see him holding another woman in his arms. One of the new recruits. you felt your heart fall down to your shoes as you saw him kiss her the same way that he used to do to you. His hand on the small of her back as he supported her up. You almost tripped over your own feet as you quickly shut the door, walking over to the cafeteria.

You were eating your salad alone when the same guy from before approached you, sitting down next to you. "Hey girl, how have you been?" He asked you, though he didn't seem too interested in what your answer is. "Fine," you responded, setting down your fork as you turned to look at him. He took in your expression and folded his hands under his chin. "I have the best breakup playlist if you wanna hear it over at my place," he told you and you decided on going. You knew that it was wrong to use him to replace the feelings that Miguel had once elicited on you but you had a feeling he just wanted to see you naked. No harm, no foul.

Turns out, he didn't have the perfect breakup playlist when you got over to his place. But he did have chocolate covered strawberries and a box full of condoms. The two of you sat on the couch and slowly started to make out, exploring the taste of one another. He brought one of the strawberries up to your mouth and you resisted from eating it in one bite, choosing to eat it slowly and sensually. He introduced himself as Peter, like a vast majority of the Spider Society didn't share the same name.

He placed his hand on your thigh as he kissed you, but you couldn't get into it. His lips didn't feel the same way that Miguel’s did, he didn't know how to touch you the same way that Miguel did, and he certainly didn't make you wet the same way that Miguel did. You felt bad for thinking these things as you were with someone else, but you couldn't help but wish that Miguel was the person that you were kissing. You pulled away from him and got up from the couch, brushing over your clothes.

"I'm sorry but I have to get going. I'm just not really into this," you told him, hoping that he would understand. He got up from the couch abruptly, the plate of strawberries that were on his lap sliding right off. "What's the problem? You're gonna come over and get me all turned on just to leave?!" He raised his voice at you, getting too close for comfort. "I just don't think I'm in the right headspace to be having sex with you right now," you tried to keep your voice calm but you knew that if he kept talking to you like this, you'd end up snapping.

"You fucking whore! This is exactly why you couldn't keep your stupid boyfriend interested!" He yelled at you as you were walking out the door. You came back and slapped him, your handprint evident on his cheek. "And your fucking attitude is why you can't get laid!" You snapped back, slamming the door as you left. As you stepped away from his apartment, you couldn't help but wonder if maybe he had a point. If you hadn't done enough to keep Miguel away interested. If you weren't enough to keep Miguel interested. You brushed those thoughts away and headed back to the society, eager to get to the gym to practice some boxing.

Your life had been going pretty peaceful for the past month, you managed to stop thinking about Miguel so much and you improved on your fighting skills. It was the day of Jessica’s baby shower and you felt pretty good about it even if it was a guarantee that you would have to see Miguel at the event. You walked into the party with a pink dress on, placing Jessica’s gift on a table before going to greet her.

Throughout the party, you couldn't help but feel Miguel’s eyes on you. You decided not to engage and kept your attention on Jessica, a bit jealous of how she glowed when she was with her husband. You went out to the porch to get a bit of fresh air, a drink in your hand. "You seem better," you heard behind you, Miguel approaching you. You shrugged and took a sip from your drink, not offering much to go off on. He let out a small sigh and leaned against the balcony, looking over at you.

"Look, I'm not the best with feelings and all that other shit, and I'm sorry that I made you think for a second that I wasn't in love with you. Because I love you so much that it's physically pained me to be so far away from you so long. I know that I wasn't exactly present in our relationship but I felt reassured in the fact that you would always be there for me that I forgot about you," he spoke up, lifting up your chin so you'd look at him. "So why'd you kiss that woman in your office?"

The question caused him to drop his hand from your chin, letting out a small sigh. "I tried to replace you with one of the recruits. But the truth is, I can't get over you. She doesn't feel like you, doesn't kiss like you, she probably doesn't breathe like you," he admitted and you couldn't help but let out a small, dry chuckle. "Look, I’m not expecting for you to jump back into being my girlfriend but I want you to go out on a date with me. Let me try to earn the honor of being your boyfriend again."

You were about to tell him your answer when Jessica called you both back inside for the gender reveal. You went inside as soon as she told you since you didn't want to feel like you were intruding on her day with your relationship drama. You pulled Miguel aside when the reveal ended, his attention solely on you as you spoke. "Okay. One date and we'll see how it goes."

A few days had passed by and you weren't too sure if Miguel was actually being serious with his plan since he hadn't given you any clues or anything to go off on until you found a box waiting for you at your apartment. It was the dress that you picked out for the first date you had with him. You placed the dress on and followed the clues that he'd left with the box.

You ended up at a planetarium and you noticed that Miguel had set up a picnic outside. "I thought we could talk for a little while here, get some food. I hope you don't think it's too silly," he told you, beckoning you to sit down. You sat in front of him, looking over at the selection of snacks that he'd selected. He'd chosen out your favorite snacks despite the fact that he never seemed to pay that much attention when you two were together.

The two of you ate together, sharing some of your experiences about this time apart. "What an asshole. I hope you didn't believe what he said," Miguel told you when you got the part about Peter. You stayed quiet, playing with your fingers. "I will never not be interested in you, mi vida. You're the most captivating person in every room you stay in pero I got too used to you making excuses for me," he told you, leaning over to kiss your forehead.

As the two of you were at the planetarium, you couldn't help but notice that Miguel’s gizmo hadn't beeped once. "No anomalies tonight?" you asked, slightly teasing him as the constellations appeared. "No, I'm sure there are plenty. But you're more important to me and it's time I started to treat you like that," he responded, holding your hand as he continued to watch the stars showing. You rested your head on his shoulder, knowing that your relationship needed work but you would indulge in this small act of intimacy.

Miguel kept his promise and dedicated himself to spending more time with you, treating you like a priority. It took some work at first but he eventually learned to trust other people to share the burden with him. You stepped into his office, bringing him some food since he was working late. "Hola cariño," he said as you walked in, kissing your cheek once you got close. He held you for a couple seconds before he looked down at you. "I know this isn't exactly the perfect setting, but you I was wondering if you'd let me be your boyfriend again," he spoke up after a couple seconds, gauging for your reaction.

"Of course, Miguel," you said, standing up on your tippy toes as you kissed him.

@miguelcvmslvt @juniperbutnot @s0fia4 @icouldntthinkofanythingclever @migueloharastruelove @mangoslushcrush @skulfan1 @134340ona @death-moth-art @akoyaxs @innercreationflower @m4dyy

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the-writer-arrived · 5 months

Text

Wedding Bells Underwater

Synopsis: after things have finally settled down in fontaine, wriothesley can finally fulfill the promise he made to avice and faissolle. watching their dream come true makes the duke think about his own future, one with you, he hopes.

Character: wriothesley.

Warnings: gn!reader; established relationship; spoilers for wriothesley's story quest.

A/N: i got so happy that they were included as a nice easter egg on wrio's birthday art 🥺

"...I'm sorry, you want me to do WHAT?"

"Help me organize Avice and Faissolle's wedding."

You stare dumbly at Wriothesley, the faint music coming from the gramophone the only sound in his office while you try to gather your thoughts. Has the workload finally taking its toll on him? Surely he knows that you have zero experience in organizing a wedding???

"It's nothing too complex like you're thinking. I just want you to act as a 'bridge' between the couple and me, since I have other matters regarding the Fortress and can't focus solely on them."

You make a 'ohhhh' expression, now understanding what is expected of you.

"Why didn't you say so from the very beggining?"

"Because I wanted to see what kind of face you'd make. And I must say, you never disappoint sweetheart."

Like the mature adult that you are, you decide to not say the snarky remark you thought and simply leave his office to look for the said couple.

(It's a lie, you stick out your tongue childishly and rushed out of the room before your lover considers cuffing you for disrespecting authority. Not that you would mind it that much).

----------

For someone who knew basically nothing about planning a wedding, you got into it pretty quickly... Maybe a bit too into it, if you were being honest.

The decorations, the location, the order of the events, the dress! Blame it on your perfectionist side, but really, after everything Avice and Faissolle went through in the Beret Society incident, they deserved a perfect wedding.

Even if it wasn't going to be a large scale event, due to all the limitations that comes with choosing the Fortress of Meropide as the venue and the couple's own wish for keeping it simple, there still was a lot of work to do. Knowing that, Wriothesley announced that those who help with the preparations would be awarded with double Credit Cupons. Suffice to say that you got all the workforce needed pretty quickly for the preparations to go smoothly.

After many meetings, headaches and shipment delays, you can now admire the results of yours, Wriothesley's and all the volunteers' hard work.

"Didn't know you had a secret talent for this. Ever considered changing careers?" The man beside you asks quietly while the bride and groom are giving their speech.

"Archons forbid! Do you have any idea how stressful that was? I have a newfound respect for professional wedding planners." You whisper back, remembering the way you basically passed out in bed the day before, all the stress and sleepless nights knocking you out.

Before he could say anything else, the spotlight shines above him and all the guests turn to look at your table.

"Your Grace, words are not enough to properly thank you for everything you've done for us. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be standing here and be able to call Avice my wife." Faissolle's words falter, him and his bride trying hard to control the tears. Wriothesley smiles at them, raising his glass in appreciation for their words.

"Of course, we can't forget the one responsable for turning our ideas into reality." The spotlight is now shining on you as well and you feel your face warming at the sudden attention. "Thank you so much for creating such an incredible wedding for us, we'll never forget this day."

Everyone raises their glasses in a toast for the newlyweds, cheers running through the crowd of guests when the couple finishes their speech.

----------

"...A penny for your thoughts, Your Grace? Or does it require Credit Cupons as well?"

You nudge your lover's arm to get his attention, seeing his faraway look.

"Oh yes, at least 500 Credit Cupons for such information." He chuckles when you roll your eyes. A beat of silence falls and you wait patiently for him to continue, if he wishes to do so. "I was just thinking that, in all the years I've been in the Fortress, I've never imagined I'd one day have it decorated for a wedding, of all things."

Wriothesley's eyes run along the tables of guests, the other former members of the Beret Society and others who became friends with Faissolle and Avice, all smiling happily and having a good time. A peculiar sight to see when you remember this merry ceremony is taking place inside a prison.

His attention returns to you at the feeling of your hand slipping into his, fingers entwining themselves with his easily like two puzzle pieces.

"That means all of your hard work is bearing fruit. The Fortress of Meropide can also be a place of good memories and new beginnings. The proof of that is right in front of you."

The Duke knows you must have meant the event, but, to him, his good memories and new beginning are you, always have and hopefully always will be.

Throughout the process of organizing the wedding, Wriothesley had wondered what kind of ceremony you would wish for. A big and impressive one? Or maybe a more low-key one, with just your close friends and family? What kind of attire would you like to wear? From Chioriya Boutique, of course, nothing but the best for his darling in their special day.

"Everyone! I'm going to throw the bouquet now!" The bride announces, causing a buzz among the excited guests.

"So? Should we go too?" Your boyfriend asks with a smirk and a playful glint in his eyes.

"Why not? Since we're here, we might as well have the full experience!"

There's already a crowd gathered in front of Avice when you and Wriothesley decide to join them. You both don't really mind though, choosing to stay at the back and observe the enthusiasm of others.

One could think it's funny how excited someone could be at the chance of getting the bride's bouquet, a chance of getting married in the future. Or maybe, it's not about marriage at all, but actually for the idea of having a better future after their sentence time is fulfilled.

Or maybe it's all just a projection of the Duke's own feelings about this.

...Who knew a celebration like this would make him think about things he's never considered before?

He shakes his head to clear his mind. You both weren't there to try and catch the bouquet for real, so there's no need to think too deeply about it.

Unbeknownst to him, fate had other plans.

It all happens too fast. At one moment, you watch Avice throw the flowers high into the air; at the next, you feel someone bump into you from behind, causing you to stumble forward. Thanks to Wriothesley's quick reflexes, he manages to prevent your fall by wrapping a strong arm around your waist. And then, you find yourself staring at the bouquet that had landed right into your arms.

What in the world?!

"Ohhhh they caught it!"

"Man, I wanted that bouquet..."

"Does that mean we're going to hear news about the Duke's wedding soon?!"

"It's about time for His Grace to tie the knot!"

The comments, cheers and the sheer craziness of this unexpected twist makes you laugh, both in embarrasment and disbelief.

In amidst of all the excitement around you both, Wriothesley can't help but think that that must have been Celestia's sign for him to stop wasting time and go after the bright future that awaits him.

Now, what would be the best ring to buy for his future spouse?

thanks for reading <3 likes, reblogs and comments are very appreciated <3

heart divider made by @/cafekitsune

pink wriothesley banner (fluff) made by @/the-writer-arrived aka yours truly ;)

#blue.writes: genshin impact #blue.writes: wriothesley #blue.writes: fluff #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #wriothesley x reader

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eamour · 2 months

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unfavourable concepts.

i've been meaning to address this for some time now. with social media becoming a platform with such a large number of people talking about different concepts in love, work, health and so on, there are concepts which i think need to be discussed, especially as they affect so many of us.

before we start, celest1albeing on twitter inspired me to write this post! make sure to check out their thread on there as well.

disclaimer.

these are concepts that don’t serve me personally. i don’t expect you to stop believing these concepts or make them apply to you and the world if you have no problems with them. if you can resonate and identify with these, that’s perfectly fine.

concepts of love.

information · these are all only examples which i seem to encounter frequently and which seem to be common.

young men cannot commit · men only treat pretty women with respect · all male friends of women just wanna hit · if he wanted to he would · they categorise you into sweet, sexy and pretty · he doesn’t love you if he does this · men always cheat and lie · they all only want one thing · they only like ass or tits · all men are the same · you can't change his type · you aren't his dream girl · men love quiet women · if a man doesn’t pay he isn't the one

you are just an option · once you are married your partner will become less romantic · after 3 months their true colours will show (honeymoon phase) · true love doesn’t exist · after the talking stage you either get into a situationship or go no contact · getting into a relationship is hard ·

women can’t be friends with men · women are complicated · they only want your money and wouldn’t want to date men who earn little · there is always another woman · they always look for someone better · you have to work on your divine feminine energy · you need to get out of your masculine energy · a woman needs to know her place

concepts of work.

money doesn’t grow on trees · it’s hard to get money · you have to work hard in order to afford your lifestyle · only if you do the work you can get a promotion · you could never be a ceo · you need to be privileged and born into richness for this position · this generation is lazy · no one wants to work · they are all going to end up jobless and poor · nowadays we are only evolving backwards

concepts of school.

you need to learn in order to get good grades · you cannot be smart without putting in the effort · teachers always have their favourite students · it's almost impossible to get good grades by teachers who can't stand you

concepts of health.

pasta makes you gain weight · you need to eat xyz and you cannot eat zyx · junk food is unhealthy · you need to workout in order to be fit · you can only lose weight by eating less · good skin requires an expensive skin care routine · t's hard to treat acne · you cannot get rid of scars on your face

self sabotage.

all in all, it all comes down to one thing: but is this what you want to believe in? do these beliefs serve you in any way? can you continue believing in them without worsening life for yourself? see, i am not the one shoving these concepts down your throat and expecting you to tweet "men ain’t shit". it’s all up to you if you want to claim these concepts as your truth or not. but if you keep believing in any undesirable concept that you KNOW does not help you in any way, you are only self sabotaging yourself IF you know that you can change these beliefs of yours.

evaluation.

the reason why i made this post is to emphasise that you can CHOOSE to believe in these concepts or not. you aren't tied to them. you don't depend on them. and you don't need to follow these concepts either.

i know we live in a society where even if you don’t initially believe that men suck or that you will get cheated on one way or another, we are still influenced by the experiences of others and may end up experiencing these things regardless. but you don’t have to!!! just because jessica had a man promise her the world and left her with nothing it doesn’t mean that it’s gonna happen to you as well. you are NOT her, you aren’t — and you don’t have to be — ANY of these people telling you about how awful people are, how sickening it is to date in this decade, etc. you don’t have to believe ANY of these things, in fact, you can change these concepts and the people around you.

in conclusion, you are your own person with your own individual beliefs. however, you have the CHOICE. no one's forcing you to believe any of these concepts, nor do they hold a universal truth to them. they come from the same awareness that can state the exact opposite.

with love, ella.

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weebsinstash · 10 months

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for the whole marriage thing, it would be kinda funny if you marry someone else out of spite, especially right after Miguel found out that you two were actually destined for each other.

You, out of breath and looking upset: Dude, this is gonna be a lot but, I need your help doing something to spite Miguel--

Hobie: don't even have to finish mate, you've already sold me on it

You: you and I need to get married because I wanna be my own person and rebel against Miguel because he wants US to get married but I don't want to because fuck him and fuck canon and I wanna choose my own destiny idk am I being dumb 🥺

Hobie, who Definitely Has Nothing To Gain Here Wink Wink: alright, that's what I'm talkin about, fuckin mental, let's do it 😌 fight the man ✊️

But no for real, you were actively avoiding relationships and suddenly Miguel hits you with "you and I are canon and I want to start getting to know each other better" and you're, I dunno, would "panic fucking" work. Would you be so bold. You're just trying to hook another person that YOU choose (and again Hobie would still apply here lmao) because, no, no, you can't let canon TRAP you like this!! And it would fucking suck if you had like, neutral or even negative feelings about Miguel. Shit, I've thought of, imagine being his FWB that he's actually catching feelings for but then the Miles Morales Incident happens and, you're just kind of disgusted how he acted, how he spoke to Miles, how he treated Gwen, but before you can officially tell him "hey, I want nothing to do with you anymore", that's when Miguel comes to you wanting to get more serious and he uh, does not accept you wanting to move on

I guess detouring into a different idea but imagine being kind of a FWB or fling of his that you kind of moved on from him from for whatever reason (he can have a temper, he can be too intense, you don't like when he did xyz, or maybe you're a free spirit and don't want to get serious and break things off when you feel he's too clingy) and he like. Cannot accept you've moved on. He's cockblocking you at the Spider Society bars n clubs and little holes in the wall where the adults go to drink and get together. By reputation alone, people know to avoid tou because Miguel wants you back, everyone still sees you as His Girl, like he's claimed you, but he still catches people dumb enough to get close to you (and I imagine his surveillance slips or he gets busy and you have a casual fuck under his radar and he sees hickeys or something on you later and goes ballistic)

But yeah gosh imagine like, he tells you up front you two are canon and not even 24 hours later you can notice the atmosphere has changed in the Spider Society with how people treat you in terms of respect, personal space, not being too touchy or overly familiar, but, most importantly, you just feel. Awkward. It's like everyone knows. Did they all know before you did, or did Miguel quickly spread the news around? You're not sure which of those is worse. He's wanting to get you know you more intimately, he wants to try and take you on dates, but, he sucks at it, he's been out of the game way too long and he's a stressed temperamental half-spider workaholic, so, his dates amount to, him just trying to spend time with you in different ways while trying to make awkward small talk. He takes you to dinner. He sees if there are any movies or entertainment you wanna see in the Spider Society, making awkward attempts to try and hold your hand

But also. Imagine. A version of Miguel that wants to move much faster than that. I mean, you two are going to be canon, so, you might as well get acclimated to him right away, right? He wants you to immediately spend more time with him, he starts controlling where you are and what you do so he can be spending time with you or connected to you in some way, you're living with him in his own residence now, he INSISTS you sleep in the same bed like a married couple, and while he may not immediately demand you do what married couples do, he makes it clear that he wants to eventually. God, you can barely even relax knowing he's in bed with you and he still forcibly cuddles you, getting used to feeling his body against your own (and what if he slept in the nude 😳 he provides you pj's but they're kind of small and thin and he keeps the room cold on purpose so you have to seek his warmth under the covers)

Miguel is like an established adult in his 30s or something all "we'll get to know each other and then we can start planning our wedding. We'll have dinner dates at least once a week and we'll have joint bank accounts--" meanwhile you're just sitting over here like " um 🥺 I um 🥺 have never really even dated anyone before 🥺" and suddenly this 6 ft 9 man is looking down at you realizing there's a lil bit of an age gap and definitely an experience gap and he gets to have all of your "firsts" and he's Just So Weird About It in like, kinda a fetish way. He gets to have your first kiss, your first time (maybe he even wants to wait until marriage), he gets to teach you things, like, lowkey it's kinda like a mentorship as well as a relationship, he's your teacher, your protector, your husband, your jailor

Like imagine you finally have your first baby and you're freaking out and you're so scared and worried about doing everything absolutely perfect and he's just like, so happy but also kind of romanticizing/fetishizing you being a new/first-time mom, he thinks you're so cute, so eager to do good and learn how to do the best for your baby. He teaches you all kinds of things about childcare and being pregnant since, he's already cared for his fiance before his canon event, he remembers all the things he learned to become a dad, all the things he picked up during the second go around, and now everything new he's learned just for you. I mean really if we follow the combo comic/movie canon, you're the first time he's getting a BABY baby and getting to raise it and do everything from the start, and it's his CANON baby so he knows you're both safe.

I just feel like between his literal list of trauma (beaten by abusive father who also abused his mom, he was betrayed and drugged with a highly addictive and agonizing substance to basically be enslaved, he was sabotaged and atomically spliced with a spider while trying to cure said addiction, his pregnant fiance died, his second family died as well as an entire universe) and him not really even having much of an OPTION with breaking canon at risk (which would have such a domino effect because it happening in his Nueva York would dismantle THE ENTIRE SPIDER SOCIETY, so, this is like, QUARDUPLE RISK) he would just. Like damn you don't even need to have yandere stuff in there, he HAS to make you stay with him? Obviously he eventually has no problem with it and fully enjoys the excuse if he wasn't crazy about you on sight, but like. LMAO you're just hanging around HQ with big sad eyes and people are whispering "who's that over there that Miguel is hovering over" "oh that's Miguel's wife. she's scared of him and he's way too intense" "well why doesnt she just leave him" "can't, they're canon, and even if they werent, i dont think he'd allow it. Shit just the other day she wanted to leave HQ to swing through the city and she didn't get his permission first and Miguel activated the Morales Protocol and sent us all chasing after her" "like ALL all?" "Oh yeah it was totally an 'all available units' situation, and once she saw she was being chased she started freaking out and panicking and tried to run, which pissed him off even more, and is why she's got a babysitter now" "oh wow, that's rough... so anyways do you know what they're serving in the cafeteria today?"

#miguel o'hara x reader #yandere miguel o'hara #yandere spiderverse #yandere stuff #sinprompts #woe! my constant barrage of long cringe posts be upon ye

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tskei · 7 months

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The Ascension and the sexual implications of it

We all remember the post from a few weeks ago that circled here. I didn't go through with the Ascension from a purely game sense "this is clearly evil " standpoint. I didn't really understand why it's evil or even more why it's sexual. Some analyses have floated around here and tumblr that mentioned it's because "vampires are a sexy fantasy". Well, yes but you're getting a vampire either way, aren't you?

I didn't manage to connect the dots until I started looking into possible ways for him to walk in the sun. It seems the only reliable one is a “Wish” spell. But that seems to turn the vampire mortal again. Now, that didn't sit right with me. If Ascension was changing him, this was even more of an "I'll fix him" situation. But I thought, would he even agree? He's so power hungry probably giving up on being a vampire would be the last thing he'd agree on. But the more I thought about it, the more it became clear to me that he actually has a strong dislike for being a vampire. If you tell him his reflection is a small price to pay for vampire powers he answers "To you, maybe." He loves seeing the sun again, all the colors. He can't see or remember his eyes, which if we take into literary view, eyes being the windows to the soul we could say it shows his disconnect with his soul, with his humanity. He absolutely hates the hunger urges that come with vampirism, saying they make him pathetic and it's the worst version of himself. And of course, the sexual part. He hasn't actually seen any perks of vampirism, just that it makes you an object of desire, a thing used only for sex. That is the only side of vampirism he has managed to experience and that is what he connects it with.

The point in the story that clearly connects his vampire nature to sexuality is the talk with the blood merchant. She is a drow, her society already views men as slaves good for one thing. But she doesn't ask him for sex, she asks him for a bite yet it's just as sexual. It shows the player that vampires are sex objects yet again. But whatever is left of him, of his soul and humanity is very separated from his vampire form. He doesn't take being a vampire as an identity but separates himself from it, calling it an affliction, or condition. So why push him further into nature that he doesn't accept or enjoy?

At many points he mentions there's almost nothing left of the man he was, whatever little is left of his soul, etc. He believes he doesn't have much to offer, especially after sex is off the table. That is why it's so important to remove sex from your romantic relationship for him. While obviously, it's a time for healing, it's also a time to actually connect to the person behind the vampire. The person he used to be before he became a sex object.

And that is the same if you choose his spawn romance ending. You pick the man he managed to remain despite everything that happened. That's why his post-scene at the grave is basically a rebirth of him, of his humanity. While the romance post-scene of the Ascension is a rebirth of you. You chose to reduce him to a vampire, to an object, and even went as far as to objectify yourself as well by accepting the vampire nature. And ultimately, that's all that's left of him, the vampire. The person he was is gone completely.

I'd just like to add that a lot of people like to bring up that they let the other characters make their own choices but that's a weak point. Shadowheart's choice is very influenced by your choices/approval and let's not forget she would actually kill Lae'zel if you don't get involved, you literally have to choose if you sell Wyll's soul or not, and Lae'zel would kill you if you don't stop her.

Also, there is the argument that he wants this. And for that, I can only guess based on my speculations, that despite all the power hunger brought from whatever feelings, survival, fear, selfishness -until the very last moment he hadn't made up his mind. He even tells you this before you enter Cazador's chamber. He won't know what he'll do before he faces him. His turmoil is obvious. You can tell him this isn't him, not really. And he responds that it should be, he doesn't want to be pathetic.

The choice for the ascension never was his, as it never was for him. He himself saw no way out, just like when he was under Cazador. And the temptation that was obviously present at the idea of being just like Cazador. The choice there was for you.

For the player, whether it'd be as a lover or a friend.Do you want the man or the vampire?

#astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion bg3 #baldurs gate #bg3 spoilers #ascension #astarion ascended

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dmajor7th · 2 months

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Renouncing the throne would not set Wilhelm free

A question asked of those in the Young Royals fandom: Are you Team Monarchy or Team Abdication?

For those who wish to see Wilhelm fulfil his birthright, the desire comes from him being able to find peace with himself and thus the role, and setting an example by living as the first openly queer monarch in Swedish Royal history. That it denies August the position also helps this argument.

For those who wish to see Wilhelm renounce the thrown, the desire comes from wishing him to be free from the shackles of unasked for expectations, and emancipated from the pressure that crushes down on his wellbeing, his romantic relationship, and his ability to live a "normal" teen and adult life.

But here's the thing: Wilhelm is marked for life. Refusing to become King, and removing himself from all royal duties and the Crown itself, will not lead him to become a "normal" person.

There is a real world, contemporary example of a prince forsaking his duties and being no freer from the media circus that haunts him—Prince Harry of the British Royal Family. The details of his conflict and departure from his royal duties are widely publicised, no less than in his own autobiography. To be sure, the pressures and scrutiny he has faced growing up are horrific—least of all the media treatment of his mother's death—and the racialised aggression towards his wife is beyond disgusting. It makes total sense that he would want to remove himself and his own family from the shit show that is being a royal in the Internet Age.

But rather than give him and his family the peaceful life he seems to crave, the media fire has only intensified. How much of this is driven my him I can't say; but the point is, making an effort to step away form his expectations has not freed him.

And so, to Wilhelm. He can chose to renounce the thrown, and he can choose not to become King, but he will always, always, be Prince Wilhelm. Unless he were to completely cut himself off from society, run away into a forest and never be seen again, he will forever be marked as a Prince.

Wille has also stated that he actually likes the monarchy. Who would he even be outside of it? He can't just get a job in a bakery or be a bus driver. What would he do? How would he live?

What I want is for Wilhelm to be able to find peace with himself and his place in the world, and based on what we've seen in season 3, I don't think it's more likely that will come to him outside of the monarchy than within it. He is a young, troubled man who needs considerable help and support, and I don't think leaving the framework he's accustomed to—with all of the resources it provides—to walk into an even greater media fire will help him.

I want Wille to be happy and I want him to be free. But moving away from his family and birthright is not, for me, the answer.

#yr s3 spoilers #young royals #simon x wilhelm #young royals season 3 #wilmon #prince wilhelm

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cenorii · 22 days

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RE headcanons!

PART 1 (if you like it I'll make a sequel with other characters. I was just bored)

My serious headcanons about some RE characters. Some I'll write about more than others because I thought about them more often, I apologize in advance.

Chris Redfield

— his favorite color is green, he enjoys this color and adds it to any set of clothes, even his military gear. He doesn't care if shades of green may not match at all in the same outfit, he just wears that color because he loves it.

— his favorite genre of music in the early years, judging by his daring clothes, guitar and references to «Queen», was heavy metal and pop-rock. Nowadays, many years later, he probably likes the laid-back tunes of «Roxette» and «Savage» because Chris' life has become hectic and he needs an island of peace.

— he smokes, but he's not a heavy smoker. In his youth, Chris smoked a lot and often, judging by his concept art. Now, however, he smokes to get in the right frame of mind and pace, to focus and calm down.

— After the amnesia episode, Chris stopped drinking and now only drinks on holidays. Drinking has become disgusting to him, it reminds him of his episode of weakness.

— Chris prefers his natural scent, doesn't use any special perfume on himself because he washes with regular soap.

— he's a latent gay man, but he's never been in a relationship. Chris seriously doesn't understand why he isn't attracted to women. The last thing he thinks about is his real orientation. He's silly.

— he likes Wesker more than Chris is willing to admit. Since he doesn't realize what kind of attraction it is, Chris doesn't guess his crush. He's too inexperienced in love affairs to realize it. Especially when it comes to Wesker, who he has a ton of emotions associated with, a lot of which are negative.

— Chris has some guitar skills, but after 1998, he barely remembers it. He can't sing, he's just an amateur at it.

— he doesn't know how to cook, ordering takeaways. Chris doesn't like junk food, having given up his attempts to learn how to cook and not even opening the cookbook Claire gave him.

— Chris never has enough time to shave his face or cut his hair. But that doesn't bother him.

— he had a low grade in school, Chris liked fun more than textbooks.

Wesker

— his favorite color is blue, but Wesker doesn't like others to know too much about it, so he adds this color to his clothes very carefully. Blue color in his clothes has never been the main color, it is only an accent.

— Wesker doesn't usually listen to music, he prefers silence, but if he had to choose, he would settle for Frank Sinatra songs. He can only listen to something that won't throw him off his thoughts.

— Wesker doesn't smoke or drink. Spencer dreamed of creating an ideal society, so he raised the Weskers as ideal people. Such people should not drink and smoke. These people should only spend time on self-development and so on.

— he doesn't swear. Wesker doesn't like and/or know how to swear because of his «proper» upbringing. He will never insult a person with a rude word, but will pick up the most innocuous one, even if he is very angry. Who shouts «self-righteous fools» or «ignorant cretins» in anger? Only the child or Wesker, because in his situation I'd be yelling «assholes», «fucking bastards» and so on. He's polite and well-mannered, just like Spencer wanted.

— he has a good sense of humor. Wesker doesn't seem like a joker because his jokes are very subtle and infrequent. He says «I have a date to keep» and then goes and destroys the Red Queen with the phrase «goodbye, fair lady», isn't he the most serious joker in fandom after that?

— Wesker is pansexual, but he doesn't care about relationships and so he, like Chris, is not even aware of his preference. He doesn't pay attention to it, so his involvement with Ms. Muller or his sudden obsession with Chris doesn't give him any reason to wonder what his orientation is. He doesn't care.

— he's in love with Chris, but he sees those feelings as a manifestation of his pride in him.

— his bathroom shelf is filled with various self-care products, and he is very worried about his appearance. First, the smell of his perfume enters the room, and then Wesker enters.

— Ms. Muller was not just a «one-night stand» for him, there was a warm relationship between them, because she remained in good opinion of him and even kept the child. This is a side of Wesker that is unknown to the players, because he had no opportunity or chance to show it. I think they broke up because Wesker was getting too attached to this woman and she was becoming his weakness, and he «can't have weaknesses». His job may have also interfered with the relationship, causing Muller to make her own decision to get out of his way, keeping the good memories alive. Wesker, on the other hand, tried to forget about that pleasant time with her so it wouldn't interfere with him.

— he is not ashamed to recognize someone else's merits and praise another person. He appreciates people who are good at something, he is sincere about it.

— Wesker is not a villain and an antagonist, he is the anti-villain. He has all the personality traits that fit that definition. He is not the pure evil that many believe him to be due to their inattention.

— he can cook, and he does it well. Wesker is known for being great at everything and cooking is no exception. Back in the days of S.T.A.R.S., he took care of his healthy diet, but once he gained power and became a bioterrorist, he stopped cooking for himself, preferring to order food from restaurants or have a personal chef. Because of the virus, he doesn't need to eat as often as normal people, so he really enjoys the process, since it rarely happens.

— because of his principles or Spencer's upbringing, Wesker can't directly harm a child. Children have never been a target for him, and he considers it beneath his dignity.

— his name is a mononym. Wesker doesn't call himself Albert and doesn't like it when others do (but doesn't stop them out of politeness). He is Wesker to everyone and to himself. However, there is a contradiction here — he hates the word «Wesker» and this whole project. Surely he must have considered changing his name if he had achieved the evolution of humanity. He still uses his initials AW when necessary.

Leon S Kennedy

— Leon has no color preference, he wears whatever clothes he feels comfortable in. He doesn't care if the colors don't match.

— he loves children and is easy to get along with.

— he uses feminine shower gels and likes sweet scents.

— likes to drink to relax or for any other reason. But he doesn't smoke.

— the music that Leon likes is very hard to define. He is probably a music lover who listens to whatever he likes.

— Leon isn't shy about swearing. He likes to make silly jokes to lighten the mood.

— He knows how to cook, but not very well, but these skills are enough for him. Leon can make toast or fry eggs, but it would be difficult for him to cook something more complicated, so he often watches tutorials on the Internet or eats fast food.

— Leon is bisexual and he knows it. He's crazy about Ada Wong, but he tries to hide it, which is unsuccessful.

— he likes karaoke.

— it annoyed him that if he showed up in any kind of transportation, there was a high probability of an accident or something. He sometimes wondered if he was a loser.

— he had a girlfriend once, but the affair was so casual that it broke up after almost a month.

— In school he had average grades, Leon could not be called a bad student, but he was not an excellent student either.

Ada Wong

— her favorite color is not only red, but also black.

— she loves elegant clothes and doesn't care if they don't fit her work. Despite the design, Ada chooses only clothes in which she can move freely.

— only Wesker knows her real name, and her name «Ada Wong» is just a rehash of «AW» (Albert Wesker).

— I like to think that she and Wesker could have acted like best friends, but voluntarily opted out for personal reasons.

— Ada pretends not to like music, but she actually likes «Marina and the Diamonds». She listens to these songs alone, in a deserted place.

— she smoked once, but she quit. She doesn't drink.

— Ada doesn't have any holidays, she doesn't even celebrate her own birthday.

— she's straight, and she's openly attracted to Leon.

— loves subtle scents in perfume, she always smells nice, but this scent is barely perceptible.

— Ada can't cook and hasn't tried to learn. She eats food from cafes and prefers to go there herself instead of having it delivered.

— She has no problem with foreign languages, she probably knows a few besides English.

— she was an honors student in school and she's easy to learn new things.

— Ada is an anti-hero.

Alex Wesker

— Alex's favorite color is white. It is the color of sterility and truth that she strives for in her research.

— I guess her full name is Alexandra.

— loves getting her nails done to cheer herself up. Due to illness and failed experiments, she is always in a bad mood, so taking care of herself helps her keep her head cool and rational.

— Alex loved her own short hair, which she had in the past, but it reminded her too much of Albert, whom she respected. Because of what she knew about «Project W» and the truth about them, Alex felt a kind of guilt for keeping her brother in the dark and lying. So she changed her image so she wouldn't think about it.

— she's a lesbian.

— Alex knows Russian.

— she must have a secret altar in her house dedicated to Albert.

— she respects Albert so much that she even tries to think and act like him. It is forbidden to insult her brother in her presence, even though they have hardly ever met and are not related.

— Alex did grieve when she learned of her brother's death in the volcano. But when she learned of his death in 1998, she was not sad, because she had not yet had time to get to know him so well and get into his personality.

— the clothes Alex wears are formal and office style. She doesn't like to wear something informal because she feels insecure in it.

— the mole under her eye is painted, or appeared there with age.

— Alex likes only classical music, her ear cannot perceive anything from modern genres.

— Has never thought about relationships, but can admit if she likes someone.

— Alex's only humor is black.

— often communicates with quotes from books, like someone quotes from songs. This helps her to express her thoughts properly and emphasize them.

— she's a lot harder to piss off than Albert.

#resident evil #rebhfun #chris redfield #albert wesker #leon s kennedy #ada wong #alex wesker #resident evil headcanons #I don't want to offend anyone

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st-dionysus · 1 year

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it's nobody's business too police labels and identities for other people but I will say the reason you might be getting backlash for calling yourself a dyke is because it is insensitive to lesbians who do get called that in a derogatory way so it's those people who can reclaim it, it's something that though used interchangeably with lesbian and used as a specific lesbian identity is a reclaimed slur so I think it's something that can and should be used but with grace and understanding for those who are sensitive to it.

I get called Dyke as a slur. I have been beaten and faced SA from and by people who have called me a dyke. I have been called dyke when I was a lesbian and I have been called dyke after coming out as a trans man, because to cis society I am a dirty filthy dyke, to lesbian separatists, I am a traitorous self-loathing dyke.

It is insensitive and transphobic to police the language that trans men have reclaimed. It is insensitive and transphobic to refuse to acknowledge that trans men can come from and still exist in the lesbian community. Furthermore, it is insensitive and transphobic to presume that trans men exist on a binary and that we are unable to have complex relationships with are sexuality and gender. Trans men, having been reclaiming dyke for as long as it has been used a slur. It is not a specific lesbian identity -- it has been used by ALL queer women and ALL transmasculine people, including trans men. When I go to the dyke bar, guess what? They have trans men there. When I got the dyke march, guess what? They have trans men there. There are trans men in every single dyke community space that hasn't been overrun by TERFs, Lesbian separatists, or libfems.

It is only online that I have EVER been told that I am not a dyke, that I can not reclaim that identity, that I should be understating/sensitive of the people who attack me and try and police my gender, sexuality, and identity.

Hell, even the TERFs I've dealt with in person, call me a broken deadbeat dyke, and I've reclaimed that. When someone tells me I'm a dyke while they try to misgender me, whether they're just a run-of-the-mill transphobe or a TERF. Guess what? I get to say "Yes I am, and that doesn't make me less of a man, you don't know me and you don't get to choose who or what I am." And I will tell that to anyone who decides they get to police any aspect of my identity.

I do not owe anyone Tumblr/Twitter an explanation for who not only am, but for who I am accepted as by my community.

I am sorry if the tone of this answer comes off as angry, but I am angry, and I have the right to be.

#Answers #Saint Speaks #Dyke Drama #Slur discourse #transandrophobia #FTM dyke #discourse

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atlas-plugged · 2 years

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I haven’t read Atlas since 2005, so I’m stoked to passively ingest snarky commentary.

It always seemed to me that the people around me who were most in love with this book often particularly love the idea that other people should love them regardless of how they treat other people. Like, being a dick, or just not having very good social skills, shouldn’t tarnish the adulation due to Smart People TM, (my super cringe teenage self included) who should run the world.

I’m super curious if this matches your observations.

So I'll tell you about the two people who I most vividly remember loved Atlas Shrugged when I was working at the coffee shop and they saw me reading it.

One person was a young latina woman who had worked her way through college and law school and who had passed the bar a year before and was working overwhelming hours at a law firm where she was getting significant raises on a regular basis. The job was difficult, and she always seemed on the verge of burnout, but she was very firmly entrenched in the idea that hard work paid off and liked the book because it was about people who were brilliant and rich and worked hard anyway and they came out on top in the end.

The other person who loved it was a middle-aged man who worked taking bets at the racetrack and who was a literal, actual VOCAL member of the John Birch Society. He was notable for two habits: he never tipped, and while he never bought his own pack of cigarettes he would also never, ever allow you to *give* him cigarettes, so he would 'bum' smokes from me and pay me a quarter each (this was when a pack cost about five dollars, so that was just about what a cigarette cost). He liked the book because he thought the world was full of moochers (he's the only person I've ever spoken to who would regularly refer to people that way in conversation) and the book was a story where the moochers got what was coming to them for once.

These were VERY different people who took pretty different messages from the book for very different reasons.

I think the central fantasy of Atlas Shrugged is that it is full of characters who are loved and valued for the thing that they most value about themselves. It is a book that is not just about a meritocracy, it is about a Meritopia. It is about people who get the things they want because they are the best at what they do. This is CENTRAL to the story.

The reason I used the term "Matryoshka of Cuckoldry" to describe the relationships is because of this meritocratic point of view. Eddie loves Dagny but is not jealous of the fact that she wants Francisco because Francisco is a better man than Eddie. Francisco wants Dagny, but understands her passion for Hank because Hank is a good man who is currently part of her world in a way that Francisco can't be. Hank *sends her a letter* letting her know that he's okay with her leaving him for Galt because he meets Galt and understands why Dagny can't love Hank anymore once she has met the pinnacle of humanity. Then both of her exes help her rescue her current lover because he is a better man than them.

The Fountainhead has a much more literal cucking thing going on with Dominique marrying and fucking two men who she thinks are much worse than Roark, sullying herself with their lust until Roark chooses to stop sullying himself by operating in a world that doesn't value him the way that she does.

What is the same in both of these novels, and what I think you are pointing at in your ask, is that the horrible characters are loved for the things that they love about themselves, and all of their unloveable traits don't matter.

That is the fantasy that people are getting from Atlas Shrugged, and that's why you might find some real assholes out there "Looking for their Dagny/Galt" (a literal phrase I have seen on Libertarian dating sites!).

And you know what, I can be sympathetic to that.

I was raised to value intellect over everything else. Academic achievement, high test scores, acceptance to a good college, and being smarter and more knowledgeable than all my peers was what I was taught was more important than being kind, or being polite, or making friends, or taking care of my mental health.

That meant that I really, really, really wanted people to love me for how smart I was.

And, well. The thing about that is, I ended up loving and being loved by people who didn't care if I was cruel or selfish, and who didn't mind being cruel or selfish to me.

I'm still kind of an asshole. And since I started dating my spouse within three months of when I first read Atlas Shrugged, it's not a surprise that he doesn't care much if I'm nice to people and is, himself, kind of an asshole (though, notably, he is not an asshole with me and part of me getting better has been both of us learning to draw boundaries on how we are willing to be treated by one another).

But oh my god, I'm never an asshole like I am when I'm around my dad. I'm never as much of a snob as I am when he brings it out in me. I'm never as mean as I am when I'm talking to him. And I've never stopped hearing from my dad that I'm too smart to be doing the job that I'm doing, that I'm too smart to be going back to school for a different degree, that I should be getting a PhD and focusing on one field because that's what I'm best at and the rest of the world should recognize it. I know that's what my dad loves about me more than anything else he loves about me. He thinks I'm smarter than him, and he thinks that's awesome, and he thinks that everything I do that is not about harnessing raw intelligence into an academic career is a waste of my mind and time.

So there is a part of me that deeply identifies with these characters whose best trait is their efficiency, who never bother to be nice because it would slow them down in the process of being perfect. I desperately understand the fantasy of someone saying "you are the best in the world at this one specific thing and I find that so sexy that I don't care about your lack of work/life balance, offputting personality, and total lack of skills unrelated to your area of interest."

(Of note: another part of this fantasy in the novel is that skill in one area translates to skill in others. There's a philosopher who is also an incredible short order cook; there's a banker who is also a brilliant tobacco grower; there's a railroad executive who is also an expert maid because Ayn Rand is so fucking kinky she doesn't know what to do with herself)

That's just, you know, a shitty way to live and means you treat people like crap and sometimes that takes a little while to understand that and figure out how to be less of an asshole.

Also: part of the fantasy is that you actually ARE good enough at any one thing that that's what someone will love you for. Most of us aren't! And that's a good thing actually, because people should love you for more than one aspect of yourself!

I've said it before and I'll say it again: one of the most important things that I've ever come across for my mental health is this image:

[ETA: the image is a print by Nicole Manganelli of Radical Emprints and you can get one here.]

I saw it on Tumblr some time in 2013 or thereabouts and instantly recoiled from it. I was angry about it. It was *WRONG.* At that point, in my mind, ALL that you are were worth was your productivity. That was literally all that you had to offer to the world, and literally all that people could love you for.

That's the Atlas Shrugged mindset. That's what the people who are fans of the book are carrying around in their heads. That's why they think it doesn't matter if they're an asshole, so long as they're rich enough, or work hard enough, or are the best at enough things, or have enough to make up for the fact that they aren't anything outside of their productivity.

But the picture wasn't wrong, I was wrong.

Anyway, I've done a lot of therapy about it and that's the best answer I've come up with.

#matryoshka of cuckoldry #image description in alt

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public-trans-it · 2 months

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i was a trans man until after a lot of build up of doubting myself, i finally realized that we are putting ourselves further into boxes by not accepting that we are the biological sex that we are and we can do WHATEVER we want at the same time.

clothes and makeup and certain interests do not equal gender.

and not liking being a woman is an unfortunately natural symptom of puberty and/or experiencing society’s deeply ingrained misogyny. and everyone deserves support for those problems.

but we can all fight together against gender social constructs in a healthy way without prescribing people hormones and invasive cosmetic surgery to make them more like the sex they “should” be according to… social constructs…. and help them be comfortable in who they are

Alright. Its been like 9 fucking months that I have been staring down this ask. What better time than to give TERFs some nuance than right in the middle of a fucking hate campaign going on where people (well... singular person probably) are calling me a TERF. This wont backfire.

This post arrived in my inbox shortly after I made another post about gender, and just how fucking weird it can be, and how I genuinely believed every single person on this planet has a fascinating relationship with gender, and so much nuance and personal identity in theirs. Even cis people. Even TERFs. In the tags, I even begrudgingly encouraged TERFs to talk about their gender on that post if they wanted. I genuinely think that TERFs do have really cool relationships with gender. As I mentioned in those tags, the quickest way to explode a group of TERFs is to get them to start talking about their own relationships with gender, and see how vastly different it is, and watching them stab each other in the back over it. So I told them to ramble away about how they view gender, as long as they stayed the fuck away from the rest of the blog WHICH THIS ANON CLEARLY FUCKING IGNORED.

But... this anon does bring up another topic I want to talk about.

Detransition.

I am a huge supporter of detransitioning. This is... surprisingly... not a very common stance in the trans community, and it breaks my fucking heart. Like, I get it. I understand why. A LOT of detransitioners, like the person in this ask, end up weaponizing their feelings of gender against other trans people.

My support of transition comes from the intersection of two very central beliefs of mine:

Everyone should explore their gender without feeling a need to commit! This is a pretty common belief in the trans community! Damn near universal in fact! We even have a fun little term we use for people who decide to play around with gender, only to end up a bit closer to where they started and being perfectly happy with that: Cis+. Someone who is cis, but at least put in the work to understand the trans experience, and actually CHOOSE to remain Cis instead of just defaulting to it with societal pressure. Many trans people are much more comfortable around 'Cis+' people, because they know these are people who have taken the time and put in the work of being an ally. Self examination isn't easy, especially not publicly, and doing so is genuinely one of the strongest ways a Cis person could ever show their support.

It is never too late to transition. This is also a pretty common belief in the trans community! It is... sadly not quite as universal though. But it is something very important that needs to be said. You could be 80 years old, sitting in a retirement home, and go "You know what? I think I'd rather wear a dress and be treated like a lady. I don't want to be buried as a man." And I think every single trans person should have that freedom!

I was discussing this with @thydungeongal the other day, far more paraphrased than this post, and she said something incredible that has been knocking around in my head ever since.

"Gender is an ongoing process"

Those five words they said to me sum up my feelings far more than this entire post could. Gender IS an ongoing process. My gender has changed SO MUCH over the past three decades. From the straightjacket of assigned gender that I was once forced into; to the very stylish and still lovable finely tailored suit of femininity that grew a little too stuffy to wear constantly, even though I do still enjoy it and try it on from time to time; to the wonderful and freeing losely fitting clothing of being aegogender, finally feeling free to be myself and just act naturally and feel natural without having to keep up an appearance!

And I think, there is no length of time you can try out being trans, and trying out new genders, before eventually coming to the realization you were cis all along. Even if you started HRT. Even if you got SRS. Heck, I don't even think you should have to call yourself trans to do either of those things in the first place, why would I be upset that someone did them and then realized they weren't trans? No single moment in your life should EVER lock your gender in place into some unchanging, set in stone thing.

So I support detransitioners completely, with my entire heart. They deserve just as much support as every other 'Cis+' person out there.

So anon, while many people may hate you and lash out at you for detransitioning, I want you to know, that I am not one of them. It sounds like your detransition might have been forced by peer pressure, which is heart breaking to hear. No one should ever force their own gender expectations on another. I hope that wasn't the case. I hope you came to the decision yourself, after realizing whats right for you. I will never give you hate for your detransition.

I WILL ABSOLUTELY GIVE YOU HATE FOR BEING A FUCKING TERF THOUGH. YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE WITH GENDER DOES NOT GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO POLICE THE GENDER OF OTHERS, FUCK OFF. GET THE FUCK OFF MY BLOG, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!

#I think I'm gonna start doing that for Read Mores #so you can find your place easier after click it #since my 'style' in these long posts is like... a fairly longish NON-readmore post. followed by the actual readmore. Let me know if it work #text essay #gender #detransition #I uh... also have some more... complex feelings of detransitioning #that may be a LIIIIIIITTLE more controversial.........#none of it goes against what i said here #its more personal stuff with my own gender and how detransition specifically is something that exists not as gender itself #but as the societal perceptions of a persons gender #but thats a more complex topic that I'll add on to this at another date #also I am absolutely taking this ask at face value for the sake of this post #but I am not so naive as to believe that the blatant TERF that sent it was being genuine #this is ABSOLUTELY the kind of thing they send people to drive a wedge in the community #I'm not even going to fucking dignify that part of it with any mention in the body of this post #edit: ........... okay the readmore accidentally moved somehow #I fixed it now though

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