Had a dream last night that I died. Only dying wasn't part of the dream (at least that I remember) I was in the place that you go after death. Not heaven or hell, some sort of in-between place. There was folding tables and a continental breakfast and crafts for the kids (and for me). The room was warehouse-like; a large open space with dusty cement floors and high square windows that let in the sort of wavering watery light that shines over you when you let yourself sink to the bottom of the swimming pool. Lots of people were there, some I knew and some I didn't, and we'd sit at the folding tables and eat French toast and scrambled eggs from the breakfast buffet and make things out of popsicle sticks and sometimes they'd play a movie on the projector, but never any particularly good ones. I'd find old friends or make new ones and talk about alive-things like love and fresh strawberries and first snow and laughter. And eventually, they'd all move on. I don't know if they moved on to a new life or a different sort of place or to become one with the indestructible energy of the universe or to something else entirely. None of us knew what happened when you left the in-between place, but everyone knew it was temporary and eventually everyone left. Everyone except me. Even when the last of the friends I knew in life had died and spent many years (or what felt like it anyway, because time no longer passes in any real way when you're in the in-between) keeping me company I wasn't ready to give up my identity, I was too afraid to move on even if we went together. "I can't believe you're leaving. Everyone leaves me. I died!" I remember shouting at him. "So did I. Everyone does." He responded with so much kindness in his voice and waited a few moments to see if I'd change my mind before he finally left. In the end, I was the only soul there. And then I woke up.
Just had a dream where Hideki Kamia had this weird egg themed shitposting Twitter featuring a picture of Hideo Kojima holding a large white egg. Then apparently Kamiya announced he was going to France, which was the only non-egg themed post he had ever made, and promptly posted a photo of himself holding a little egg with only the caption "little egg" as soon as he got there. And, people were memeing it saying it was a euphemism for taking a dump the moment he arrived in France. So, if anyone said anything about France, people would spam comment "little egg" and make poop jokes.
Hidden Blade Weibo update 1.26.2023 with a new trailer, and it has English subs! This is what’s keeping me hopeful that there will be an international release.. hoping.. praying.. wishing..
This workout was horrendous. And fantastic. I better have buns o' steal tomorrow 😂 It only takes one day, right?! Off to work I go. Prepping Valentine's things today!
1.26.2023 || 10:59 a.m. -> I just have to read 75 pages to be caught up on Speak No Evil for my Queer Literature class at 1:30. I think I can swing it. Especially with the support of my furry study buddy Helen.
“Let me speak to your manager” / Oh, you mean Benji? / He’s fucking busy / ’Cause I just drove through AP / On my brand new jetski / So leave some tears after the **** / If you’re feeling silly / I’ll call you, beep you later / If Otto doesn’t serial kill me. / I’m out of my cage / And I’m on the stage / I’m dying to give you a show / I’m alienated / Way overrated / Here are a few of the notes: / My fans are the best / They’d love me more dead / But man / I can’t die ’til I finish the album / ’Cause if I could time it right, shit could go Platinum / But baby / it’s getting too loud. / Da da da da, da da da da da / And everyone’s freaking me out / I wake up and I’m up and I’m down / Yo shut the fuck outta your mouth / Bite tongue ’til there’s blood in my mouth / It freaks me out. / I’m Miss Congeniality / Everybody’s proud of me / But when they try and tell me / Volume’s muted like they’re sound asleep. / Therapy’s not working / I don’t understand / So I kill time playing tennis with your favorite band / We’re singing / Da da da da, da da da da da / It gets real super dark around the edge of my heart / Around the edge of my heart / It gets real fucking dark around the edge of my heart / Around the edge of my heart.
Lately when Magnus has been in the bathtub, he loves using the shower curtain to play peek-a-boo. He also loves sticking his tongue out and trying to drink the bath water. Gus laughs and says, "DAD! Magnus is trying to drink the bath water!" I tell him to stop, but he just keeps bobbing his mouth into the water like one of those little glass, water-drinking birds.
KCON Picturesque have opened a YouTube channel for "A Shoulder To Cry On"! They released a short interview video with members of the cast in both Korean and with English subtitles (eng sub version linked above). Please check it out and subscribe to the channel. ASTCO is finally coming soon!!!
"That is wintering. It is the active acceptance of sadness. It is the practice of allowing ourselves to feel it as a need. It is the courage to stare down the worst parts of our experience and to commit to healing them as best we can."
Wintering - Katherine May
1.26.2023
Having a huge snowstorm blow through right when I finish this book was something like fate. A perspective changing memoir about accepting the hard times for what they are, and knowing that the snow will melt and the sun will return.
I included a favorite little statue I got myself when I was pregnant and going through some rough nausea 24/7. The author speaks heavily on health and pregnancy being a huge liminal space and turning point for her.
Hibernation and hard times are one in the same, prepare for the low points and you'll get through them a little easier.
let us dare to make our dreamagainst the oddsagainst the “common wisdom”against our doubts and fears.let us stare at ittake the first stepand build it one by one.let us dare to make our dream.
1.26.2023
Yibo Official Weibo update 1.26.2023 with photos of Wang Yibo at Ningbo, the last stop for his cinema tour for Hidden Blade. And of course the weather report.. “today in Ningbo, the weather is sunny”
Take a break and rest well.. and I’m hoping to hear some news about the international release of Hidden Blade soon please? Please? Please? ☺️