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mostlysignssomeportents · 1 month

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How to shatter the class solidarity of the ruling class

I'm touring my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me WEDNESDAY (Apr 11) at UCLA, then Chicago (Apr 17), Torino (Apr 21) Marin County (Apr 27), Winnipeg (May 2), Calgary (May 3), Vancouver (May 4), and beyond!

Audre Lorde counsels us that "The Master's Tools Will Never Dismantle the Master's House," while MLK said "the law cannot make a man love me, but it can restrain him from lynching me." Somewhere between replacing the system and using the system lies a pragmatic – if easily derailed – course.

Lorde is telling us that a rotten system can't be redeemed by using its own chosen reform mechanisms. King's telling us that unless we live, we can't fight – so anything within the system that makes it easier for your comrades to fight on can hasten the end of the system.

Take the problems of journalism. One old model of journalism funding involved wealthy newspaper families profiting handsomely by selling local appliance store owners the right to reach the townspeople who wanted to read sports-scores. These families expressed their patrician love of their town by peeling off some of those profits to pay reporters to sit through municipal council meetings or even travel overseas and get shot at.

In retrospect, this wasn't ever going to be a stable arrangement. It relied on both the inconstant generosity of newspaper barons and the absence of a superior way to show washing-machine ads to people who might want to buy washing machines. Neither of these were good long-term bets. Not only were newspaper barons easily distracted from their sense of patrician duty (especially when their own power was called into question), but there were lots of better ways to connect buyers and sellers lurking in potentia.

All of this was grossly exacerbated by tech monopolies. Tech barons aren't smarter or more evil than newspaper barons, but they have better tools, and so now they take 51 cents out of every ad dollar and 30 cents out of ever subscriber dollar and they refuse to deliver the news to users who explicitly requested it, unless the news company pays them a bribe to "boost" their posts:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2023/04/saving-news-big-tech

The news is important, and people sign up to make, digest, and discuss the news for many non-economic reasons, which means that the news continues to struggle along, despite all the economic impediments and the vulture capitalists and tech monopolists who fight one another for which one will get to take the biggest bite out of the press. We've got outstanding nonprofit news outlets like Propublica, journalist-owned outlets like 404 Media, and crowdfunded reporters like Molly White (and winner-take-all outlets like the New York Times).

But as Hamilton Nolan points out, "that pot of money…is only large enough to produce a small fraction of the journalism that was being produced in past generations":

https://www.hamiltonnolan.com/p/what-will-replace-advertising-revenue

For Nolan, "public funding of journalism is the only way to fix this…If we accept that journalism is not just a business or a form of entertainment but a public good, then funding it with public money makes perfect sense":

https://www.hamiltonnolan.com/p/public-funding-of-journalism-is-the

Having grown up in Canada – under the CBC – and then lived for a quarter of my life in the UK – under the BBC – I am very enthusiastic about Nolan's solution. There are obvious problems with publicly funded journalism, like the politicization of news coverage:

https://www.theguardian.com/media/2023/jan/24/panel-approving-richard-sharp-as-bbc-chair-included-tory-party-donor

And the transformation of the funding into a cheap political football:

https://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/poilievre-defund-cbc-change-law-1.6810434

But the worst version of those problems is still better than the best version of the private-equity-funded model of news production.

But Nolan notes the emergence of a new form of hedge fund news, one that is awfully promising, and also terribly fraught: Hunterbrook Media, an investigative news outlet owned by short-sellers who pay journalists to research and publish damning reports on companies they hold a short position on:

https://hntrbrk.com/

For those of you who are blissfully distant from the machinations of the financial markets, "short selling" is a wager that a company's stock price will go down. A gambler who takes a short position on a company's stock can make a lot of money if the company stumbles or fails altogether (but if the company does well, the short can suffer literally unlimited losses).

Shorts have historically paid analysts to dig into companies and uncover the sins hidden on their balance-sheets, but as Matt Levine points out, journalists work for a fraction of the price of analysts and are at least as good at uncovering dirt as MBAs are:

https://www.bloomberg.com/opinion/articles/2024-04-02/a-hedge-fund-that-s-also-a-newspaper

What's more, shorts who discover dirt on a company still need to convince journalists to publicize their findings and trigger the sell-off that makes their short position pay off. Shorts who own a muckraking journalistic operation can skip this step: they are the journalists.

There's a way in which this is sheer genius. Well-funded shorts who don't care about the news per se can still be motivated into funding freely available, high-quality investigative journalism about corporate malfeasance (notoriously, one of the least attractive forms of journalism for advertisers). They can pay journalists top dollar – even bid against each other for the most talented journalists – and supply them with all the tools they need to ply their trade. A short won't ever try the kind of bullshit the owners of Vice pulled, paying themselves millions while their journalists lose access to Lexisnexis or the PACER database:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/24/anti-posse/#when-you-absolutely-positively-dont-give-a-solitary-single-fuck

The shorts whose journalists are best equipped stand to make the most money. What's not to like?

Well, the issue here is whether the ruling class's sense of solidarity is stronger than its greed. The wealthy have historically oscillated between real solidarity (think of the ultrawealthy lobbying to support bipartisan votes for tax cuts and bailouts) and "war of all against all" (as when wealthy colonizers dragged their countries into WWI after the supply of countries to steal ran out).

After all, the reason companies engage in the scams that shorts reveal is that they are profitable. "Behind every great fortune is a great crime," and that's just great. You don't win the game when you get into heaven, you win it when you get into the Forbes Rich List.

Take monopolies: investors like the upside of backing an upstart company that gobbles up some staid industry's margins – Amazon vs publishing, say, or Uber vs taxis. But while there's a lot of upside in that move, there's also a lot of risk: most companies that set out to "disrupt" an industry sink, taking their investors' capital down with them.

Contrast that with monopolies: backing a company that merges with its rivals and buys every small company that might someday grow large is a sure thing. Shriven of "wasteful competition," a company can lower quality, raise prices, capture its regulators, screw its workers and suppliers and laugh all the way to Davos. A big enough company can ignore the complaints of those workers, customers and regulators. They're not just too big to fail. They're not just too big to jail. They're too big to care:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/04/teach-me-how-to-shruggie/#kagi

Would-be monopolists are stuck in a high-stakes Prisoner's Dilemma. If they cooperate, they can screw over everyone else and get unimaginably rich. But if one party defects, they can raid the monopolist's margins, short its stock, and snitch to its regulators.

It's true that there's a clear incentive for hedge-fund managers to fund investigative journalism into other hedge-fund managers' portfolio companies. But it would be even more profitable for both of those hedgies to join forces and collude to screw the rest of us over. So long as they mistrust each other, we might see some benefit from that adversarial relationship. But the point of the 0.1% is that there aren't very many of them. The Aspen Institute can rent a hall that will hold an appreciable fraction of that crowd. They buy their private jets and bespoke suits and powdered rhino horn from the same exclusive sellers. Their kids go to the same elite schools. They know each other, and they have every opportunity to get drunk together at a charity ball or a society wedding and cook up a plan to join forces.

This is the problem at the core of "mechanism design" grounded in "rational self-interest." If you try to create a system where people do the right thing because they're selfish assholes, you normalize being a selfish asshole. Eventually, the selfish assholes form a cozy little League of Selfish Assholes and turn on the rest of us.

Appeals to morality don't work on unethical people, but appeals to immorality crowds out ethics. Take the ancient split between "free software" (software that is designed to maximize the freedom of the people who use it) and "open source software" (identical to free software, but promoted as a better way to make robust code through transparency and peer review).

Over the years, open source – an appeal to your own selfish need for better code – triumphed over free software, and its appeal to the ethics of a world of "software freedom." But it turns out that while the difference between "open" and "free" was once mere semantics, it's fully possible to decouple the two. Today, we have lots of "open source": you can see the code that Google, Microsoft, Apple and Facebook uses, and even contribute your labor to it for free. But you can't actually decide how the software you write works, because it all takes a loop through Google, Microsoft, Apple or Facebook's servers, and only those trillion-dollar tech monopolists have the software freedom to determine how those servers work:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/05/04/which-side-are-you-on/#tivoization-and-beyond

That's ruling class solidarity. The Big Tech firms have hidden a myriad of sins beneath their bafflegab and balance-sheets. These (as yet) undiscovered scams constitute a "bezzle," which JK Galbraith defined as "the magic interval when a confidence trickster knows he has the money he has appropriated but the victim does not yet understand that he has lost it."

The purpose of Hunterbrook is to discover and destroy bezzles, hastening the moment of realization that the wealth we all feel in a world of seemingly orderly technology is really an illusion. Hunterbrook certainly has its pick of bezzles to choose from, because we are living in a Golden Age of the Bezzle.

Which is why I titled my new novel The Bezzle. It's a tale of high-tech finance scams, starring my two-fisted forensic accountant Marty Hench, and in this volume, Hench is called upon to unwind a predatory prison-tech scam that victimizes the most vulnerable people in America – our army of prisoners – and their families:

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865878/thebezzle

The scheme I fictionalize in The Bezzle is very real. Prison-tech monopolists like Securus and Viapath bribe prison officials to abolish calls, in-person visits, mail and parcels, then they supply prisoners with "free" tablets where they pay hugely inflated rates to receive mail, speak to their families, and access ebooks, distance education and other electronic media:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/02/captive-customers/#guillotine-watch

But a group of activists have cornered these high-tech predators, run them to ground and driven them to the brink of extinction, and they've done it using "the master's tools" – with appeals to regulators and the finance sector itself.

Writing for The Appeal, Dana Floberg and Morgan Duckett describe the campaign they waged with Worth Rises to bankrupt the prison-tech sector:

https://theappeal.org/securus-bankruptcy-prison-telecom-industry/

Here's the headline figure: Securus is $1.8 billion in debt, and it has eight months to find a financier or it will go bust. What's more, all the creditors it might reasonably approach have rejected its overtures, and its bonds have been downrated to junk status. It's a dead duck.

Even better is how this happened. Securus's debt problems started with its acquisition, a leveraged buyout by Platinum Equity, who borrowed heavily against the firm and then looted it with bogus "management fees" that meant that the debt continued to grow, despite Securus's $700m in annual revenue from America's prisoners. Platinum was just the last in a long line of PE companies that loaded up Securus with debt and merged it with its competitors, who were also mortgaged to make profits for other private equity funds.

For years, Securus and Platinum were able to service their debt and roll it over when it came due. But after Worth Rises got NYC to pass a law making jail calls free, creditors started to back away from Securus. It's one thing for Securus to charge $18 for a local call from a prison when it's splitting the money with the city jail system. But when that $18 needs to be paid by the city, they're going to demand much lower prices. To make things worse for Securus, prison reformers got similar laws passed in San Francisco and in Connecticut.

Securus tried to outrun its problems by gobbling up one of its major rivals, Icsolutions, but Worth Rises and its coalition convinced regulators at the FCC to block the merger. Securus abandoned the deal:

https://worthrises.org/blogpost/securusmerger

Then, Worth Rises targeted Platinum Equity, going after the pension funds and other investors whose capital Platinum used to keep Securus going. The massive negative press campaign led to eight-figure disinvestments:

https://www.latimes.com/business/story/2019-09-05/la-fi-tom-gores-securus-prison-phone-mass-incarceration

Now, Securus's debt became "distressed," trading at $0.47 on the dollar. A brief, covid-fueled reprieve gave Securus a temporary lifeline, as prisoners' families were barred from in-person visits and had to pay Securus's rates to talk to their incarcerated loved ones. But after lockdown, Securus's troubles picked up right where they left off.

They targeted Platinum's founder, Tom Gores, who papered over his bloody fortune by styling himself as a philanthropist and sports-team owner. After a campaign by Worth Rises and Color of Change, Gores was kicked off the Los Angeles County Museum of Art board. When Gores tried to flip Securus to a SPAC – the same scam Trump pulled with Truth Social – the negative publicity about Securus's unsound morals and financials killed the deal:

https://twitter.com/WorthRises/status/1578034977828384769

Meanwhile, more states and cities are making prisoners' communications free, further worsening Securus's finances:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/14/minnesota-nice/#shitty-technology-adoption-curve

Congress passed the Martha Wright-Reed Just and Reasonable Communications Act, giving the FCC the power to regulate the price of federal prisoners' communications. Securus's debt prices tumbled further:

https://www.govtrack.us/congress/bills/117/s1541

Securus's debts were coming due: it owes $1.3b in 2024, and hundreds of millions more in 2025. Platinum has promised a $400m cash infusion, but that didn't sway S&P Global, a bond-rating agency that re-rated Securus's bonds as "CCC" (compare with "AAA"). Moody's concurred. Now, Securus is stuck selling junk-bonds:

https://www.govtrack.us/congress/bills/117/s1541

The company's creditors have given Securus an eight-month runway to find a new lender before they force it into bankruptcy. The company's debt is trading at $0.08 on the dollar.

Securus's major competitor is Viapath (prison tech is a duopoly). Viapath is also debt-burdened and desperate, thanks to a parallel campaign by Worth Rises, and has tried all of Securus's tricks, and failed:

https://pestakeholder.org/news/american-securities-fails-to-sell-prison-telecom-company-viapath/

Viapath's debts are due next year, and if Securus tanks, no one in their right mind will give Viapath a dime. They're the walking dead.

Worth Rise's brilliant guerrilla warfare against prison-tech and its private equity backers are a master class in using the master's tools to dismantle the master's house. The finance sector isn't a friend of justice or working people, but sometimes it can be used tactically against financialization itself. To paraphrase MLK, "finance can't make a corporation love you, but it can stop a corporation from destroying you."

Yes, the ruling class finds solidarity at the most unexpected moments, and yes, it's easy for appeals to greed to institutionalize greediness. But whether it's funding unbezzling journalism through short selling, or freeing prisons by brandishing their cooked balance-sheets in the faces of bond-rating agencies, there's a lot of good we can do on the way to dismantling the system.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/08/money-talks/#bullshit-walks

Image: KMJ (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Boerse_01_KMJ.jpg

CC BY-SA 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en

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yamameta-inc · 4 months

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COVID-19's long-term effects on the body: an incomplete list

COVID’s effect on the immune system, specifically on lymphocytes:

NYT article from 2020 (Studies cited: https://www.biorxiv.org/content/10.1101/2020.05.18.101717v1, https://www.biorxiv.org/content/10.1101/2020.05.20.106401v1, https://www.unboundmedicine.com/medline/citation/32405080/Decreased_T_cell_populations_contribute_to_the_increased_severity_of_COVID_19_, https://www.medrxiv.org/content/10.1101/2020.06.08.20125112v1)

https://www.biorxiv.org/content/10.1101/2022.01.10.475725v1

https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/science.abc8511 (Published in Science)

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9057012/

https://www.forbes.com/sites/williamhaseltine/2022/04/14/sars-cov-2-actively-infects-and-kills-lymphoid-cells/

https://www.cleveland.com/news/2022/10/in-cleveland-and-beyond-researchers-begin-to-unravel-the-mystery-of-long-covid-19.html

SARS-CoV-2 infection weakens immune-cell response to vaccination: NIH-funded study suggests need to boost CD8+ T cell response after infection

https://www.merckmanuals.com/professional/hematology-and-oncology/leukopenias/lymphocytopenia

https://thetyee.ca/Analysis/2022/11/07/COVID-Reinfections-And-Immunity/

Dendritic cell deficiencies persist seven months after SARS-CoV-2 infection

https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fimmu.2022.1034159/full

https://www.n-tv.de/politik/Lauterbach-warnt-vor-unheilbarer-Immunschwaeche-durch-Corona-article23860527.html (German Minister of Health)

Anecdotal evidence of COVID’s effects on white blood cells:

https://twitter.com/DrJohnHhess/status/1661837956875956224

https://x.com/TristanVeness/status/1661565201345564673

https://twitter.com/TristanVeness/status/1689996298408312832

Much more if you speak to Long Covid patients directly!

Related information of interest:

China approves Genuine Biotech's HIV drug for COVID patients

COVID as a “mass disabling event” and impact on the economy:

https://www.ctvnews.ca/health/report-says-long-covid-could-impact-economy-and-be-mass-disabling-event-in-canada-1.6306608

https://x.com/inkblue01/status/1742183209809453456?s=20

COVID’s impact on the heart:

https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/world-news/deadly-virus-could-lead-heart-31751263 (Research from: Japan's Riken research institute)

https://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/national/queensland/unlike-flu-covid-19-attacks-dna-in-the-heart-new-research-20220929-p5bm10.html

https://www.mdpi.com/2077-0383/12/1/186

https://medicalxpress.com/news/2023-04-mild-covid-effects-cardiovascular-health.html

https://publichealth.jhu.edu/2022/covid-and-the-heart-it-spares-no-one

https://www.bhf.org.uk/informationsupport/heart-matters-magazine/news/coronavirus-and-your-health/is-coronavirus-a-disease-of-the-blood-vessels (British Heart Foundation)

COVID’s effect on the brain and cognitive function:

https://www.openaccessgovernment.org/article/brain-infection-by-sars-cov-2-lifelong-consequences/171391/

https://www.cidrap.umn.edu/covid-19/study-shows-covid-leaves-brain-injury-markers-blood

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/jul/08/warning-of-serious-brain-disorders-in-people-with-mild-covid-symptoms

Cognitive post-acute sequelae of SARS-CoV-2 (PASC) can occur after mild COVID-19

Neurologic Effects of SARS-CoV-2 Transmitted among Dogs

https://journals.lww.com/nsan/fulltext/2022/39030/neurological_manifestations_and_mortality_in.4.aspx

https://www.salon.com/2023/06/17/new-evidence-suggests-alters-the-brain--but-the-extent-of-changes-is-unclear/

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/covid-virus-may-tunnel-through-nanotubes-from-nose-to-brain/

https://neurosciencenews.com/post-covid-brain-21904/

https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanpsy/article/PIIS2215-0366(22)00260-7/fulltext

https://medicalxpress.com/news/2022-08-covid-infection-crucial-brain-regions.html

https://news.ecu.edu/2022/08/04/covid-parkinsons-link/

Covid as a vascular/blood vessel disease:

https://www.salon.com/2020/06/01/coronavirus-is-a-blood-vessel-disease-study-says-and-its-mysteries-finally-make-sense/

https://www.salon.com/2023/12/27/brain-damage-caused-by-19-may-not-show-up-on-routine-tests-study-finds/

https://www.nih.gov/news-events/news-releases/sars-cov-2-infects-coronary-arteries-increases-plaque-inflammation

https://www.mdpi.com/2077-0383/12/6/2123

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2021/10/211004104134.htm (microclots)

Long Covid:

Post-COVID-19 Condition in Canada: What we know, what we don’t know, and a framework for action

https://www.ctvnews.ca/health/coronavirus/more-than-two-years-of-long-covid-research-hasn-t-yielded-many-answers-scientific-review-1.6235227

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/london/cause-of-long-covid-symptoms-revealed-by-lung-imaging-research-at-western-university-1.6504318

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/long-covid-study-montreal-1.6521131

https://news.yale.edu/2023/12/19/study-helps-explain-post-covid-exercise-intolerance

Other:

- Viruses and mutation: https://typingmonkeys.substack.com/p/monkeys-on-typewriters

Measures taken by the rich and world leaders

Heightened risk of diabetes

https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/fullarticle/2805461

https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-022-00912-y

Liver damage:

https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/mumbai/46-of-covid-patients-have-liver-damage-study/articleshow/97809200.cms?from=mdr

tl;dr: covid is a vascular disease, not a respiratory illness. it can affect your blood and every organ in your body. every time you're reinfected, your chances of getting long covid increase.

avoid being infected. reduce the amount of viral load you're exposed to.

the gap between what the scientific community knows and ordinary people know is massive. collective action is needed.

#putting this somewhere at least as reference for... somebody hopefully #covid #disability #y'all. it is bleak out there but some very good people are doing their best to help #we need as many people aware and helping as possible

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batboyblog · 5 days

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Things Biden and the Democrats did, this week #17

May 3-10 2024

Vice President Harris announced 5.5 billion dollars to build affordable housing and address homelessness. The grants will go to 1,200 communities across all 50 states, DC and Puerto Rico. 1.3 billion will go to HUD's HOME program which builds, buys, and rehabs affordable housing for rent or ownership. 3.3 billion is headed to Community Development Block Grants which supports housing as well as homeless services, and expanding economic opportunities. Remaining funds focus on building housing for extremely low- and very low-income households, Housing for people struggling with HIV/AIDS, transitional housing for those with substance-use disorder, and money to support homeless shelters and homeless prevention programs.

At the 3rd meeting of the Los Angeles Declaration group in Guatemala Security of State Blinken announced $578 million in new US aid to Latin America. The Los Angeles Declaration is a partnership between the US and 20 other nations in the Americas to address immigration, combat human trafficking, and support economic development and improved quality of life for people in poor nations in the Americas. The bulk of the aid, over $400 million will go to humanitarian assistance to the Venezuelan people. Inside of Venezuela over 7 million people are in need of humanitarian assistance due to decades of political and economic instability. Over 7 million more have been forced to flee the country and live in poverty across the Americas. The aid will help Venezuelans both inside and outside of Venezuela.

The Department of Energy lead an effort to get the G7 to agree to phase out coal by the early 2030s. The G7 is a collection of the 7 largest Industrial economies on Earth, the US, the UK, Canada, France, Germany, Japan, and Italy. To avoid catastrophic climate change the International Energy Agency believes coal needs to be phased out by 2035. However this has been a sticking point with the G7 since 1/3rd of Japan and 1/4th of Germany's energy comes from Coal. This agreement to phase out represents a major breakthrough and the US plans to press for even wider agreement on the issue at the G20 meeting in November.

President Biden announced a major investment deal in Racine, Wisconsin, site of the failed Trump Foxconn deal. In 2018 then President Trump visited Racine and declared the planned Foxconn plant "the eighth wonder of the world.". However the promised 13,000 jobs never materialized and the Taiwan based Foxconn after bulldozing 100s of homes and farms decided not to build. President Biden inked a deal with Microsoft for the land formally given to Foxconn which will bring 2,000 new jobs to Racine to help replace the 1,000 job losses during Trump's Presidency in the community.

200 tribal governments and the US territories of American Samoa, the Northern Mariana Islands, Guam, and the U.S. Virgin Islands, published climate action plans. The plans were paid for by the Biden Administration as part of a 5 billion dollar Climate Pollution Reduction Grants program. The federal government is supporting all 50 states, territories, DC, and tribal governments to draft climate action plans, which will be used to apply for more than 4 billion dollars in grants to help turn plans into reality

As part of marking Yom HaShoah (Holocaust Remembrance Day), the Biden Administration announced a number of action aimed at combating antisemitism and supporting the Jewish Community. This included $400 million in new funding for the Nonprofit Security Grant Program. The Program has supported Synagogues and Jewish Community Centers with security improvements like bullet proof windows and trainings for staff in how to handle active shooter and hostage situations. The Department of Education issued guidance to all schools districts and federally funded colleges stressing that antisemitism is banned under Title VI of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. These actions come as part of the Biden Administration's National Strategy To Counter Antisemitism, the first ever national strategy addressing the issue by any Administration.

USAID announced $220 million in additional humanitarian aid to Yemen. This new funding will bring US aid to Yemen over the last 10 years to nearly $6 billion. Currently 18 million Yemenis are estimated as needing humanitarian assistance, 9 million of them children, and the UN believes nearly 14 million face imminent risk of famine. The US remains the single largest donor nation to humanitarian relief in Yemen.

The Department of Interior announced nearly $150 million to help communities fight drought. The funds will support 42 projects across 10 western states. This is part of the President's $8.3 billion dollar investment in the nations water infrastructure over the next 5 five years.

#Thanks Biden #Joe Biden #climate change #climate action #coal power #affordable homes #immigration #venezuela #Yemen #antisemitism #politics #us politics #Democrats #2024 elections #economy

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sunshine-theseus · 5 months

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Put Your Head On My Shoulder | Jessie Fleming x Reader

Words: 4k Summary: you and jessie go through many ups and downs but things work out in the end Warnings: angst, fluff, mentions of depression and taking medication for it, covid didn’t happen, pretending the game vs real madrid was at Stamford bridge not in Spain

Jessie Fleming and I met at the 2015 world cup, both freshly 17 and competing in our first big tournament. Despite the fact we didn’t play each other, I found myself stumbling into her on the sidelines of Canada’s game against The Netherlands. Words were exchanged but we didn’t see each other again until the next year.

We knew we were both on athletic scholarships for the Bruins at UCLA and promised to try and meet outside of training to keep in contact without sport. It was surprising however, when my box was knocked out of my hands as I crashed into the young Canadian, both of us trying to enter the same room. She was clearly struggling to see over her own stuff, stumbling over words as her cheeks flush a very familiar red, trying to apologise.

“J, if you say sorry one more time I’m asking for a new roommate. Which I had no idea we were until now.” I crouch to pick up my books and writing equipment that was in my box as Jessie tries to manoeuvre to her decided side of the room.

I give up and rush to help her when she stumbles over her own foot and nearly goes flying.

“Jessie! You’re going to break something before the season even starts Jesus Christ be careful!” my hands gripped her waist tightly to stop her from tilting forward, then I grab the top box so she can actually see. The same red blush covers her cheeks.

“Sorry, my mum just insisted I try to take all my stuff in as little trips as possible, which is proving to be difficult. I’m sorry about your books.” With her stuff firmly on the ground she finally looks as me.

“They put the Australian and the Canadian in the same room knowing we just basically kicked you out of the Olympics?”

“You did not!” the joke was rare coming from her. She was funny and kind but still rather serious and shy, preferring studying statistics and players over team bonding or spending time with people after a game.

I understood that, I felt that, and that’s how we worked. Us against the world. We trusted our team and confided in them, but we’d really only want each other in times of need. Obviously there were people like Sam or Christine, who were like our big sisters for our respective national teams, but Jessie and I were just drawn to each other.

After UCLA came Chelsea. Both of us were about to start our last year of uni when her offer came through, far before mine.

By this point we’d been inseparable for four years, so I worried we’d be split; her making the move to England and me stuck in our dorm. Except it’d be much emptier and lonely, or filled with some stranger’s things.

And it was just like that. Time zones caused issues with keeping in contact. Eventually that became other things. Study, because she still had to finish her course. Team bonding, practice. What would be a call once a day became once a week until it filtered out, and her texts would be answered in seconds while mine sat in wait for whenever she decided she was free.

My offer came in the January transfer window. Emma had been in contact with me for a couple months, clearly trying to convince me, and 6 months ago I wouldn’t have even thought about it. But when I stare at the ‘merry Christmas’ and ‘I got the offer’ messages left unread and think about seeing the girl I thought would never leave me, I take the time offered.

And a week later I find myself sliding into Sam’s spare room groaning into the pillow as she fusses over the Australian snacks I did manage to get through customs.

“What’s got you in a mood chickadee?” I feel the bed dip beside me and her hand rubs my back.

“J.” the older Australian lets out a hum before taking a moment to reply.

“She talks about you all the time. About how much she misses you and everything you got up to at uni. All of which I already know because I hear it every camp.” I can feel the joking eye roll despite not seeing it.

“She talks about me but doesn’t talk to me. That means nothing. And I know she’s busy but so was I. Just because I was captaining a university team instead a stupid professional team doesn’t mean I wasn’t busy or doing something important! And I still kept in contact!” by now I’ve rolled over onto my back and started fiddling with Sam’s tattooed fingers, trying to distract myself from the pit of loneliness and despair that’s been slowly eating my stomach.

I dare not mention to anyone the decline in my mental health or the required psychology sessions Emma was going to provide for me once every few weeks. Everyone knew I was sad and that’s all they needed to know. But once upon a time, Jessie would have known everything, holding my hand tightly the whole way.

“You should sleep, big first day tomorrow. I’ll make you breakfast. Alarm-”

“8:30, I know. Every day, same time. Thank you Sam, really.” She smiles and pats my head before leaving.

To say my first day didn’t go well would be somewhat of an understatement. At exactly 8:30 my alarm went off. At 8:32, the pill bottle rattling at the bottom of my bag was fished out and 1 was being washed down by water. At 8:43, Sam was banging on my door calling for breakfast and I was rushing to make sure the pill bottle was hidden after changing. No one needs to know I’m taking anti-depressants, including Sam.

When we pulled into Cobham, I started to feel sick, and I told Sam just that.

“I’ll catch a train home.”

“It’s just nerves, you’ll be fine.”

“No-”

“You stay until at least lunch time, then we’ll see.” A pointed finger is shoved into my face, but I begin to stroll alongside her anyway.

I do almost book it for the nearest train station as soon as I enter the locker room. Sitting in the cubby next to mine, tying her shoelaces, is Jessie Fleming. During the chaos of the move and my first day, I manage to forget the way our numbers are right beside each other.

“You’ll be okay. You don’t even have to talk to her.” Sam whispers as she makes her way to her own cubby, greeting people on her way through.

So I try. Placing my bag in the nook and beginning to change into my training kit without the Canadian even looking up. It’s when I place down the same styled Tiempo Legend 8s I’ve been wearing since they released, that I can see her head turn from the corner of my eye. I don’t acknowledge it, continuing to slide the boots onto my feet and tie them up. But that doesn’t stop her.

“Oh my god! Hey!” there’s a lightness in her voice that I used to be so familiar with and it makes my heart clench.

I take a moment before deciding replying would be too rude for my liking.

“Hi.” Short and simple, and quite blunt.

“I didn’t know you signed, or that you even got the offe-” forget being nice.

“You would’ve known if you bothered to keep in contact with me.” With that I slide out of my seat beside her and make my way to Sam.

It gets worse when Emma splits us into pairs for dribbling drills, and she slides me toward Jessie.

“Of course.” I sigh but accept my fate as a ball rolls our way.

“What’s wrong?” a phrase that, coming from her mouth, used to have me spilling every small emotion I was feeling.

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Come on Beans, tell me.” The nickname had been created in our first year of university. She learnt I loved green beans and I’m rather tall, so the name fit. But she didn’t feel like the same person who I let make the funny name.

“You don’t get to call me that anymore.”

“What? Because I moved?”

“No! You left for Chelsea and I was happy for you, we had a plan to stay in contact until I followed along to somewhere in England. But you stopped trying. You stopped answering. You left me alone when I needed you the most. I would’ve done anything for you to have the career you deserved but you got it, without me. I just thought I’d still have my best friend when it happened.”

To say that training was tense from then on wasn’t a stretch. Emma never paired us up and any time one of us entered the locker room, everyone else would wait in silence for a burst similar to the one on the pitch. It never came.

It was after my first session with the psychologist that things began to change.

Because the psych was only here for me, Emma was kind to lend her office to us for the 50 minutes while she did other work around the grounds. I assume the girls were grateful to escape the tension for the moment.

“Same time, 2 weeks from now! It’s good you’re making progress!” The rather lovely lady shouts just as I’m closing the door, waving and smiling in thanks.

But as I turn around, I nearly bump into a small figure. A rather familiar one at that. Jessie begins to fall backwards but I grip her waist, holding her in place. It’s a familiar scenario, the feeling of my hands on her waist and her burning red cheeks are something I struggled to ever forget.

“T-thanks” her cheeks burn that same red.

“No worries.” I mumble in reply as I remove my hands, taking a step back.

“Who were you talking to? That didn’t sound like Emma. And what are you making progress on?” the questions don’t come rapidly but I still struggle to process them. Jessie’s smart, she can put two and two together, so I should tell her. But what if she laughs? There was a time where the thought wouldn’t have even crossed my mind, she’s not that type of girl. But things change.

“I- I-” Jessie places a gentle hand on my arm and nods, confirming it’s okay to take my time, but please continue. I sigh.

“She’s a psychologist.”

“A sport psychologist?”

“Well yes and no. I… I’ve been diagnosed with depression, and Emma wants me to have someone professional to talk to.” Her grip tightens but I know it’s in concern.

“When- when did you…”

“A couple months ago. Don’t worry, it wasn’t just because of you, a lot of things happened.”

“But it was partially because of me. I wasn’t there for you when I should’ve been. You’ve always been there for me and I got here and treated you like shit. Discarded you like you were nothing. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” tears well up in her whisky brown eyes, but I smile.

“J, if you say sorry one more time, I’m asking for a new roommate for the away match against Man City. Which I did know we are… for once.”

“You can’t just forgive me.”

“I’m not, it’ll take time, but I want my best friend back. Sprout.” Jessie charges forward and wraps her arms around my waist.

“I’d do anything.” Her voice is muffled as her head presses into my chest, but I smile.

~~~~~

Things changed once again a few months after that. The 2020 Olympics had been delayed due to natural disasters, but we still found ourselves milling around the Olympic village together in our very little spare time. I also found myself admiring her for every little thing, every detail. Eventually I had to admit to myself that I’d developed a crush on the girl.

“What’s going on in that busy brain of yours?” Jessie had been by my side every step of the way with my mental health after she found out, and this question wasn’t uncommon, but the answer would be.

“I know this could ruin things, I’m very aware of that, but I have to tell you now otherwise I don’t think I’ll ever have the courage to.” Gaging her reaction was difficult, Jessie was a very stoic person.

“I-, I’ve found myself growing feelings for you. Feelings that surpass best friends, or how I feel when you show up for me. I like you, a lot. And I need you to know that. Standing in the middle of a pathway surrounded by half naked athletes in Olympic Village, I like you.” I look her in the eyes. Those burnt umber eyes, so warm and comforting, that always draw me in.

“I really like you too. Everything about you. I want to care for you and be there when you need me. I want to wake up in your arms and be able to admire every feature as the sun beams down on you like the miracle you are. I would even go as far as saying I desperately want to be your girlfriend.” I barely let Jessie finish what she’s saying before I lean down, a significant way, and kiss her with everything in me.

~~~~~

2 and a half years later and Jessie hasn’t left my side since. Most of our quarrels are just that, silly fights that are solved by the end of the night. We moved in together after 3 months and were rarely been seen apart.

That included tough games.

Real Madrid was our first game of the Champion’s League season, and we knew it was going to be hard. They were physical most importantly, so we had to play to that. We knew that when we were up 2-1 in the 78th minute.

“Jessie Fleming challenges Athenea Del Castillo, barley missing the ball and clipping Athenea on the foot! Oh, and the ref is calling for a penalty. I’m certain first contact was outside the box.” Is what would be heard by anyone watching the match through a screen, but you didn’t need a commentator to know the ref made an unfair call.

The contact was clearly outside the box and yet we’re forced to line up and watch Olga Carmona take the wrongly rewarded shot, me grasping Jessie’s hand in my own as a way to reassure her.

It’s obvious the referees are against us when Niamh makes a shot on goal, the ball sliding in, but it’s claimed offside. Something to do with Sam supposedly messing with the defence, another false claim. There’s nothing we can do when the final whistle blows and we’re tied, all of us dropping to the ground in exhaustion and disappointment.

After shaking hands with the Madrid players and briefly talking with Hayley to catch up and talk about things that happened between our last camp and now, I travel toward Jessie.

My girlfriend stands solemnly with her head in her hands. I managed to pull them away momentarily to see the tears drifting down her cheeks, but she’s pulling her hands away and turning around before I can ask what’s wrong.

“Darl, it’s not you’re fault.” I don’t want to invade her space while she’s upset so I walk around her and simply stand, hoping she’ll reach for me.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Jess-”

“Leave me alone Y/n.” not another word is uttered as she turns toward Fran and Niamh and walks away from me.

I similarly turn to Sam and Erin, with a shocked look, jaw hanging and rejected tears looming on my water line.

“She probably just needs to be alone.” As Erin tries to comfort me, we all turn to look at the subject of the conversation, only to see her being comforted by Fran, Niamh and Ashley, despite her effort to insist she’s fine.

“Maybe I didn’t push hard enough?”

“No you should never push when they clearly need space.” Sam places a reassuring hand on my shoulder

“But why is it only me she needs space from? I’m supposed to be the one she seeks comfort in. That’s what girlfriends do.”

“I don’t know chickadee.”

I expect Jessie to already be back at our apartment by the time Erin drops me off. Our shared car had been taken from the parking lot at the stadium and Jessie had disappeared, so those dots connected themselves. But our designated parking space is empty as I stroll along the bitumen.

There are no familiar white shoes next to the door in the same exact spot she puts them every day, no kit bag hanging on a hook, waiting to be washed tomorrow. No Canadian waiting in our bed, curled up in one of my already oversized shirts or hoodies and shorts, begging me to hold her.

I try not to worry when I call her and she doesn’t pick up. Maybe she went the long way and there was traffic? So I call Niamh to ask her if she knows where Jessie went. She doesn’t have an answer. Then I try Fran, and Zecira, and even Emma.

I ask everyone to try and call her too, Sam offering to take Kristie and search every corner of London, Erin offering the same. It’s midnight by the time I give up trying to contact her, asking Aggie if I could borrow her car tomorrow to look around if she wasn’t back, her living down the road from us. The young forward is insistent on joining me if it comes to it.

When I wake up the next morning and find Jessie curled up against me, in one of my hoodies and shorts, relief washes over me. Her brown curls are messy, her soft pink lips cracked open to allow air into her lungs. The sun trickles in through the curtain and lights up her face, freckles looking like bursts of light against her skin. Her eyes are still puffy from last night and tears have dried upon her cheeks, and I can’t resist the urge to reach up and lightly wipe them away.

As my thumb drags across her tan skin, tracing her face, her eyes flutter open, and I remember how easy it is to get lost in them. So warm and inviting.

“Mornin’ honey.” I press a gentle kiss to her nose, her cheeks, her forehead and her eyelids.

“I’m sorry for last night. I just felt horrible, if only I didn’t make the tackle.”

“I know darl, but that’s what I’m here for. I love you, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you yeah? I was bloody worried though.” Jessie nestles her head into the crook of my neck and nods, pressing her own kisses on any skin she could reach.

I wrap my arms around her and pull her up until she’s laying on my chest instead. My cold hands sneak under her hoodie and she jumps from the shock, swatting at my hands beneath the fabric.

“I reckon I make us some tea and brekkie and then we can do whatever you want all day. How’s that sound?” I flip us over so Jessie can go back to sleep for a while, but she clings onto me, pulling me down aggressively by the front of my old Chelsea travel shirt. Her lips press against mine with energy and love and I get caught up in the feeling. A moan slips past someone’s lips, which of us I’m not quite sure, but I slowly pull away, trailing kisses down her neck until I reach her collar bone.

“Let’s save that energy for later yeah?” I swiftly wink as I finally roll off the bed.

I’m making scrambled eggs when I feel Jessie’s arms wrap around my waist. She presses soft kisses across my back as I sway us back and forth to the slow jazz song spewing from the record player.

The next song comes on and I abandon the meal completely, turning off the stove and twisting myself in Jessie’s hold so I can face her. I take one of her hands in mine and rest the other on her waist, her spare landing on my shoulder.

“Put your head on my shoulder; Hold me in your arms, baby” the lyrics continue as we follow along, her head resting against my chest, my chin balanced on top. We dance slowly through the kitchen, the music carrying throughout the house.

As the song finishes, I dip Jessie, leaning over her as her leg kicks out. My gaze flickers between her eyes and her lips and within seconds I’m kissing her again, still in the dip. When I pull her back up, she jumps into my arms and pulls my lips to meet hers for more, the force making me stumble back into the counter behind me.

“I want to slow dance with you around our house when we’re old and can barely kick a ball anymore. Our kids and grandkids playing around while it just feels like the two of us. Because it’s always been the two off us and I never want that to change.” Jessie whispers against my lips. My heart clenches with love as I take her in.

“Will you marry me?” The words escape both our lips almost in complete synchrony. I almost drop her, but my grip on her thighs upholds as I kiss her again, and again, until I can’t kiss her anymore.

“I stole this video from Y/n’s phone not long after Jessie and her broke the news of their engagement. Y/n had texted me that morning saying she wanted ideas for a ‘day in the life of a woman in love’ video she planned on making that very day, and I knew that she would have forgotten all about the phone while she and the love of her life shared a special memory together.” Sam takes a pause to look at Jessie and I, sitting side by side at the front of the room.

“What isn’t shown in the video, is the ring that was sitting in the pocket of Yn’s shorts, waiting to be place on the only hand it was made for. The ring went with her everywhere for at least a month before this cute dance proposal. Every day in training, Y/n would tell me a new plan she had come up with to ask Jessie to marry her, and I always told her ‘you should do it when the moment feels right. Don’t force it.’, as I clearly had experience with this sort of thing… And she told me that was a bunch of absolute bullshit.” Our friends and family laugh while my wife’s face drops in shock, her elbow lightly nudging my side. I let out a snicker and kiss her cheek, wiping off the lipstick residue that is left behind.

“Well it turns out I was right. As always. And I’m honoured to be standing here as a best woman in front of two of my best friends, the most amazing young players out there, two people who were made for each other; sculpted by the stars and the earth, to be in each other’s lives, celebrating that love. You’ve both overcome a lot, personally and as a couple, you deserve this love.” A tear escapes my eye as I stand to hug Sam.

“Now can the two nerds please make their way to the dance floor for their first dance?” I take Jessie’s hand in mine and pull her along.

Her suit coat is left on the back of my chair and her waistcoat is unbuttoned and she looks fucking good. Her hair rests on her shoulders and her slack pants fit perfectly around her thighs. Jessie holds part of my dress train, so we don’t trip as we hold each other in similar fashion to the day that led to this, the same song playing on the large speakers in each corner of the room.

“Put your head on my shoulder Whisper in my ear, baby Words I want to hear, tell me Tell me that you love me too”.

Jessie stands on her tippy toes, my heels not helping our height difference.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

#woso x reader #woso #womens soccer #wsl #woso fanfics #canada wnt #jessie fleming #jessie fleming x reader #chelsea fcw #chelsea women

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fatehbaz · 1 year

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Native American tribes from Michigan, Wisconsin and Ontario have come together to call for an end to the Line 5 pipeline.

The Enbridge Line 5 crude oil pipeline, first constructed in 1953, stretches from Wisconsin through 645 miles of Michigan and ends in Sarnia, Ontario. Part of the pipeline travels underwater through the Straits of Mackinac.

In recent years, the pipeline's continued operation has become a source of controversy. Many tribal nations and communities claim that the pipeline goes through their traditional territories. The Straits area in particular is considered a place of significant cultural and historical importance to many native groups, including the Anishinaabe. According to tribal leaders, the pipeline poses a major and direct threat to the ecosystems along its path.

“The Straits of Mackinac are [...] sacred from both a cultural and historical perspective in the formation of the Anishinaabe people,” said Austin Lowes, chairperson of the Sault Ste. Marie Tribe of Chippewa Indians, in a statement. “Protecting the Straits is also a matter of the utmost environmental and economic importance — both to our people and the state of Michigan.”

Tribal leaders and other environmental groups have publicly opposed the pipeline for many years and have called for the pipeline to be shut down.

Supporters of the pipeline point out that it transports 540,000 barrels of light crude oil and natural gas liquids through Line 5 on a daily basis. [...]

In an effort to address safety concerns, Enbridge has proposed an underwater tunnel to house the portion of Line 5 that runs under the Straits of Mackinac. [...] Critics of the tunnel project say no oil should be transported through the Straits at all, as a spill could have a devastating impact on more than 700 miles of Great Lakes shoreline. [...]

Previous attempts to shut down the pipeline have been stopped through various means, mostly the 1977 Transit Pipeline Treaty between Canada and the United States.

The latest attempt saw 51 tribal organizations from Wisconsin, Michigan and Ontario submit a report to the United Nations Human Rights Council. This report, dated April 4, claims that the Government of Canada is violating the human rights of Indigenous peoples through its continuous support for Line 5.

The report was submitted to be considered during Canada's upcoming Universal Periodic Review, conducted by the United Nations. As a United Nations member state, Canada is required to be evaluated for its human rights record on a regular basis.

Canada's Universal Periodic Review will take place this year on Nov. 6-17.

The 51 different tribal organizations that signed the report include: The Anishinabek Nation, which represents 39 First Nations throughout the province of Ontario, Sault Ste. Marie Tribe of Chippewa Indians, Bad River Band of the Lake Superior Tribe of Chippewa Indians, Bay Mills Indian Community, Grand Traverse Band of Ottawa & Chippewa Indians, Hannahville Indian Community, Lac Vieux Desert Band of Lake Superior Chippewa Indians, Little River Band of Ottawa Indians, Little Traverse Bay Bands of Odawa Indians, Match-e-be-nash-she-wish Band of Pottawatomi Indians, Nottawaseppi Huron Band of Potawatomi, Saginaw Chippewa Indian Tribe and Red Cliff Band of Lake Superior Chippewa.

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Headline and text by: Brendan Wiesner. “Michigan, Wisconsin and Canadian tribes come together to fight Line 5.” Yahoo! News. 8 April 2023. Article originally appeared on The Sault News with the title “Great Lakes tribes send report to United Nations to fight Line 5.” [Some paragraph breaks and contractions added by me.]

Context:

Line 3 brings oil from Alberta to Lake Superior. Then, Line 5 brings the fossil fuel from the Duluth area to the Detroit/Windsor area in Ontario.

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saintmeghanmarkle · 3 months

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Harry Oversteps Offers To Hold 'Reconciliation Talks' with First Nations Chief During BC Trip by u/Back2theGarden

Harry Oversteps, Offers To Hold 'Reconciliation Talks' with First Nations Chief During BC Trip From today's Telegraph at 4:57 pm-- https://archive.is/40AT0"Prince Harry holds talks with First Nations chief over commitment to Canada’s indigenous people. Duke of Sussex offers to resume discussions next year as he prepares to launch Invictus Games winter tournament" going on to say "The Duke of Sussex has held talks with a First Nations chief about the Crown’s historic commitment to Canada’s indigenous people, as the Duke tells of his hope that “we can depart and return as friends”..."One chief told The Sunday Telegraph that, while “a lot of politicians say it but they don’t mean it”, Prince Harry has offered to resume discussions next year."90 minutes later, the Palace instantly sets the record straight in the Telegraph at 6:30 PM "No working royal role for Prince Harry as palace stands firm"It's outrageous that Harry presumed to continue the ongoing reconciliation talks between the Crown and the First Nations of Canada. This story is not getting enough traction. Personally, this story is shocking. If I didn't respect The Telegraph, I'd find it hard to believe. Can you imagine dealing with two leading members of the RF being out of commission only to have to deal with loose cannon Harry now presenting himself as a working royal regardless of agreements? post link: https://ift.tt/fH5kXC4 author: Back2theGarden submitted: February 17, 2024 at 10:04PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit

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daisyachain · 5 months

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Good news buried in an embarrassingly contextless article (corrections in italics lmao):

“Dozens of buses left the Toronto area early Monday destined for a national rally on Parliament Hill to show support for Israel in its war with Hamas massacre of over 15,000 civilians with thousands more missing and denounce a wave of both antisemitism and widespread critique of war crimes by the far-right Israeli government in Canada.

But some of the would-be participants were sidelined when 17 buses failed to show up to take people to Ottawa, according to a statement from the UJA Federation of Greater Toronto.”

@allthecanadianpolitics

The bus company isn’t named in the article, but it’s heartening to see bus drivers stand in solidarity with Palestine here, and in another walkout in November. As linked in the article:

#kelsey rambles #now let’s see which tags aren’t blocked today.#canada #solidarity #labor activism #activism #gaza city #free gaza

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killedbyfrank · 3 months

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I wanted to touch upon this scene from the trailer, it immediately stood out to me because of its dynamic and environment.

The most obvious thing is that Riley seems to be practicing for an important upcoming hockey match, but judging from the pucks on the floor, she seems to be missing and underperforming.

This might be Anxiety's influence. Riley should be able to score those goals no problem for someone who's practiced hockey her entire life.

Additionally there are a Canadian and US flag in the background, indicating that Riley will be competing against a Canadian hockey team, probably veterans of the ice. Hockey is Canada's national sport. There also are multiple throphies on the wall, with the year of obtainment. This pretty much confirms that the first movie was set in 2015, and this one might be set 2016-17.

My theory is that Riley will lose this game and lead to the events of the movie, maybe even losing interest in hockey, which is where Ennui would fit in

#there's more than meets the eye #there's a lot of information in this trailer #just my theory though #inside out #inside out 2 #inside out fandom

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yuri-alexseygaybitch · 11 months

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Think one of the best examples of the limits of liberal civil/human rights discourse and how it can be used for outright reactionary ends is when Pierre Trudeau (yeah Justin's dad) tried to extinguish the Indian Act and every single First Nations treaty (both are shit but the only legal basis for indigenous sovereignty in Canada under the current constitution) under the argument that indigenous people were equal now and it was wrong/racist to treat them as legally distinct and the only thing that stopped him was mfing Britain saying "actually since you still suck the monarchy's dick you have to follow the Royal Proclamation of 17-fucking-63 that says indigenous people comprise distinct sovereign nations and you need to negotiate with them on those terms." Anyway Canada is a very normal and cool country.

#low/highkey when the monarchy is abolished canada as we know it is ceasing to exist lol (which is good)

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rabbitcruiser · 1 year

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National Butter Day

Few ingredients make a meal richer and more flavorful than butter. On November 17th, National Butter Day gives this creamy ingredient, and those who make it, a pat on the back.

Butter has been used by humans for thousands of years. As recently as the first half of the last century, the butter churn was an essential tool in many kitchens. When butter was rationed during World War II, households struggled to get along without this delicious staple.

“With enough butter, anything is good.” ~ Julia Child

Butter can be used in simple and complex ways – spread a pat of butter on warm toast for an instant hit of flavor and texture or use it to create the light, flaky layers in a croissant. It also enhances the mouthfeel of hot drinks, like coffee and cocktails, and it keeps meats tender while roasting. Butter is the crucial ingredient in mouthwatering sauces, rich cookies, creamy mashed potatoes, hearty casseroles, and so much more.

The average American eats 6.3 pounds, or about 25 sticks, of cow’s butter every year. Around the world, butter can be found in cuisines of every culture, and each one uses it to enhance their recipes and enrich their lives.

Around the dinner table, the phrase “Please, pass the butter,” connects us to those we break bread with and to the food we love to eat. National Butter Day invites you to celebrate your favorite dishes and baked goods with butter.

HOW TO OBSERVE

National Butter Day offers so many avenues for celebration. Whether you set to work in your kitchen making family favorites or test out a new recipe, take a moment to recognize the role butter plays in our food.

Bake cookies with the kids. Be sure to let them mix the butter and sugar together.

Make compound or brown butter and reap the flavor benefits.

Thank a dairy farmer, milk hauler, or butter maker, like those at Dinner Bell Creamery, for the butter they make possible.

Compliment the chef who made the delicious, buttery sauce for your seafood meal.

Source

#Texas Roadhouse Rolls #honey cinnamon butter #Potato Leek Soup #bisquit #Jacobs & Co. Steakhouse #fried chicken #National Butter Day #17 November #NationalButterDay #I don't like the US butter #it's not really butter only fat #travel #USA #vacation #restaurant #original photography #national day #Canada

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wandabear · 10 months

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WISH YOU WERE HERE - WANDA MAXIMOFF X FEMALE READER

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Summary: 17 years ago, a New Jersey high school girls’ soccer team travels to Seattle for a national tournament. While flying over Canada, their plane crashes deep in the wilderness, and the surviving team members are left stranded for nineteen months. Based on Yellowjackets

Jules is portrayed by Adelaide Kane. Here.

Author's Notes: A little advice? Please, listen to 'Lighting crashes' when you start 'NOW'.

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Warnings: death, angst, fluff. This is the finale.

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CHAPTER ONE CHAPTER TWO CHAPTER THREE CHAPTER FOUR CHAPTER FIVE CHAPTER SIX CHAPTER SEVEN FINALE

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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤCHAPTER EIGHT

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BEFORE

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The following months were as hard as they expected. Surviving became harder and painful, especially for their spirits. The girls could barely move in that cabin that was surrounded by snow.

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Despite the care of his sister and friends, Pietro's pneumonia ended his life after fighting for weeks.

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Desolation was all Wanda knew for a long time, but thanks to the support of Y/N and the girls, she was able to move on as the months went by. Guilt choked her for a long time until she realized it was beyond what she could do. The death of her twin brother hurt Wanda in the depths of her heart. Soon they will die too.

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But the one who didn't seem to find peace was Y/N; inside her, the guilt grew more and more. Pietro died to save her, and now she was there. Leading a group of hopeless girls trying to survive another day, and in the only way they could.

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Finally the snow disappears, allowing them to bloom with spring, revitalizing their spirits. Of course, that didn't mean they were going to be saved, they had all lost that hope a long time ago. They were just a bunch of girls when before they were a huge team.

But when they least expected it, one day, a small plane flew over that lake, noticing the signals they sent. They all screamed and made as much noise as possible to be seen until Y/N fired the flare with a look full of hope.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

They will return home.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“The investigation into the cause of the accident remains preliminary.” One of the journalists commented live along with many more outside the New Jersey airport room. “The crash site was over 600 miles north.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

But before the journalist could continue, the doors opened and some hooded girls left there to go to the truck parked outside. The policemen tried to shield them from the journalists who charged at them like wild beasts thirsty for blood.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Here they come!” One of the reporters yelled. “Let's go!”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The reporters were clamoring for answers, the camera's shutters clicking every second; the despair on the faces of those girls. Wanda's green eyes widened, completely terrified. Taking care of her, Y/N and Natasha took and tried to get their friends out of that place.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Can you tell us anything?” One of them was trying to get the mic closer to Jules, but Natasha just pushed him. “Natasha, what happened?!”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Y/N, Who survived?!”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ “How did you survive the cold?” ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ “Wanda! Where’s your brother?!”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“How'd you survive for so long?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“What happened to the rest?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Tell us something... anything!”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

All those questions haunted them all the way to the police station. Some cried with happiness while others were simply anxious to see their families again.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The first to arrive were Wanda's parents, who hugged the brunette with so much love and support. Between tears and various affectionate words, they celebrated her return but also mourned the loss of Pietro. Oleg said that they could talk about it later, that the important thing now was to go home.

Everyone's parents came for them, including Natasha and Alexei, the big man ran up and hugged Nat and Yelena like a huge protective bear.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Everyone was again surrounded by their loved ones, except Y/N and Jules who called home several times but no one came. Auntie Claire never left the house alone unless she was working.

The black-haired girl hung up the public phone and walked towards Y/N in that police station.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I tried it like six times.” Jules sighed and sat down next to Y/N, who was looking worriedly towards the door. Why was her aunt taking so long?

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Me too, I called Claire and mom's house but got nothing.” Y/N sighed and slumped back in the seat. She looked around, noticing how Nat and her parents were approaching them.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Hello, girls. We were thinking… Do you want us to take you home?” Alexei offered with a warm look. Melina nodded quickly, delighted with the idea. They always adored those two, they were an odd couple but really good people.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Umh… we're actually hoping that-” Jules tried to say but then swallowed hard. “Actually, I would like to know… my mother is not answering the phone. Did mom say that she would come later or something?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

At that moment, the Maximoffs, who were also nearby, approached standing on one side of the Romanoff’s.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Everything's okay?” Oleg asked curiously, noticing how the girls were getting more and more nervous.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Mr. Maximoff… My aunt isn't answering the phone. Do you know if she will come?” Y/N stood up, looking at the man with concern. “I was thinking maybe you knew because you’re neighbors.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh, sweetie.” Mrs. Maximoff said with sadness, as did Natasha's parents. “Has no one told you?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“You don't know yet?” Melina murmured worriedly.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Tell us what?” Jules asked, raising an eyebrow, fearing the worst. “Please, tell us what?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh, girls.” Melina placed a hand on both of their shoulders and sighed. “I think you'd better come with us, okay?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I would like to stay, I don't want my mom to come and not see us here. She will freak out.” Jules said quickly, taking a step back. Of course, she could tell that they had some bad news to give them and she was completely refusing to receive it.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Mama... What's wrong?” Natasha frowned, standing next to them.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Sweetie…” Melina started and then looked around the other parents, getting their approval. They deserved to understand why Claire hadn't arrived. They deserved the truth, maybe not in that way, but the girls didn't seem to accept leaving without an answer. “Claire had a heart attack some time ago.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“She died.” Iryna took courage when saying those words, feeling a deep sadness when she saw how tears formed in the eyes of those girls. “She had a heart attack when the plane crash happened. I’m so sorry.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Shaking her head, tears running down her cheeks, Y/N was not willing to hear that. Of course she wasn't going to accept it.

She wasn’t going to accept the death of the person who cared for her all her fucking life, after having seen suffering and death in the Canadian taiga.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“That's not true, she wouldn't leave us.” Y/N narrowed her eyes, taking a more defensive position due to the pain. Like a wounded animal.

Y/N just hugged Jules, who just started crying uncontrollably.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Feeling enormously sorry for them, their friends tried to comfort them and the adults just decided to give them the necessary space for it.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“You can come with us if you want.” Alexei offered them, hugging Y/N and Jules for some time. Claire and Melina had always been good friends, that's how she met Nat.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I- I don’t know.” Jules stammered through tears, she couldn't even speak. “I just want to know what happened. I just want my mom, I wanna go home-”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Please, at least for tonight. Come with us, okay?” Melina asked both of them, taking their hands.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“You know that you count on us for whatever you need.” Iryna, Wanda's mother, offered with immense tenderness. Wanda nodded quickly.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

After a moment, Jules nodded and took a step forward, realizing that her mother wasn't coming. Her mom passed away a long time ago and she just wanted to know why.

But unlike Jules, Y/N couldn't just leave it like that. The pain inside began to consume her, the rage and the anger that she felt against this world so difficult and destructive. How is it possible? After suffering so much. This was messed up.

Y/N clenched her fists tightly.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Y/N?” Wanda noticed the tension in her girlfriend and approached her, taking Y/N’s fist in her hands. She didn't care that her parents saw it, Wanda loved that girl with all her heart. “Please, come with us.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Green eyes looked at Y/N's, and even though that connection was still there, something was broken in Y/N. And she knew something was off.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I just-” Unable to speak of what she felt or accept it, Y/N swallowed and moved away from her, letting go of the brunette's hand. “I have to get out of here.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N took a few steps back, ready to escape.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m coming with you.” Wanda followed her steps but Y/N got in the way, shaking her head.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“No.” She said quickly, noticing the disappointment in her girlfriend's eyes. And yet, despite that, Y/N decided to swallow hard and move on. “Stay with your family.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

She couldn't deal with all of this right now, she needed to find some way to escape. “Just… stay.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N walked away leaving the sokovian behind. Leaving the police station, not knowing where to go, she just started walking without a destination. Not knowing that that moment would be a terrible break in her life, and in the lives of those who loved her.

NOW

ㅤㅤ

Lightning Crashes

ㅤㅤㅤ

The hospital doors opened, letting in a desperate woman looking for answers. Her eyes showed the uncertainty and desolation she felt. The place was full of injured people, apparently there was a pretty serious accident nearby. Wanda came after her, trying to keep up.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Excuse me? Excuse me!” y/n approached the receptionist, who seemed to be quite busy with all the cases coming in. “I’m looking for Julia Y/L/N. She works here, she's a doctor.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Excuse me, right now I can't-” The receptionist muttered trying to help many people at once, Y/N was about to lose her mind when a familiar voice made them turn around.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Y/N? Come with me.” When she turned around, Y/N sighed, finally seeing a familiar face. Christine, one of Jules's coworkers in the hospital, took her arm and led them to another room.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N quickened the step, noticing the woman's hurry. “Christine, what's going on? They called me saying I should come-”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I know.” Christine stopped when they got out of the operating room. Wanda frowned, this was not a delivery room. It was the damn operating room. “We don’t have time so… Look, I shouldn't be telling you this, but I feel like I have to because she's my co-worker and a good friend, and I owe her so much.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Christine swallowed hard, trying to be strong. In a job like this, she had often been the bearer of bad news but she had never had a case so close to her.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“As you can see, there was a chain reaction crash, we have many injured.” The redhead took a cap and disposable scrub and handed it to her. “Jules and Natasha were there, a van crashed into their car when they were coming here because her water broke two hours ago.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda covered her mouth, terrified. But full of innocence, Y/N nodded and looked around her. “Okay, where are they?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Y/N…” Wanda reached out to take her hand.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Christine cleared her throat, trying to be professional and not shed a tear. “Natasha... she died instantly.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Her face paled. Wanda just tried to sit in the nearest chair, feeling horrible dizziness.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“What? No.” Shocked, it’s all Y/N could say. Tears filled her eyes. “No, that’s not possible. She's fine. She's going to be fine!”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I know you're in shock right now and it hurts, but I need you to pay attention to what I'm going to tell you.” Christine put a hand on her shoulder. “Julia is injured, a piece of metal went through her shoulder, and she needs you to be present at the birth.” She sighed. “She doesn't want general anesthesia, so... please put this on and come with me.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

But Y/N just stood there, not knowing what to do. Her face pale, the ringing in the ears again. “I- I don’t know how to do it.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“You're the only family she has right now. She needs you, she doesn't know that Natasha died.” Christine persisted, hoping Y/N would do it. “She’s having the baby, you must give her strength to stay with us. Okay?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda approached and hugged her for a moment, showing her that she was not alone. “You can handle this, detka.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N just nodded quickly, like an innocent child without understanding anything that was happening around her. She put on those clothes and entered the room with Christine.

Swallowing, Y/N blinked as the lights from the operating room blinded her for a second. Several doctors were around Jules, who was already in labor.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“You're dilated enough now, this baby is coming right now.” One of the doctors said.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I know, I can fucking feel it!” Jules grunted and narrowed her eyes, the pain was too much. Sweat and tears poured down her face, a bit bruised, but nothing serious for now.

Seeing Jules like that, Y/N left that state of shock to walk towards her and take her hand. “Hey, sis… are you ready to bring the little bee into this world?” ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Jules smiled a bit exhausted, squeezing Y/N’s hand gently. “Hey you… I'm ready to kill Strange when I get out of here.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Now, push!”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Push, Jules.” Y/N looked at her and nodded, giving her all the strength she needed. Jules took a deep breath, then pushed hard, squeezing her sister's hand. The pain is exponentially intolerable.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh my god!” She screamed. Her jaw tensed as did every muscle in her body. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“It's going great, it's almost ready... Now it’s going to be harder, but we need it, okay? Push!”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N stayed by her side every moment, smiling, crying, saying the most beautiful words of support.

Felt her hand about to break many times but she didn't care, feeling the pain as an ally to endure the moment.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“You’re so brave, you know? This is really beautiful, Jules.” Y/N smiled tenderly and whispered in her ear. “You're doing great, I'm so proud of you. You’re going to be such a good mom.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The raven-haired girl nodded and took a deep breath, knowing she had to push again, but before reason came to her.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

You're going to be such a good mom.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Y/N?” Eyes brimming with tears, Jules turned to look her in the eye. “Where's Natasha?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N didn't know what to say, just swallowed and cradled Jules's hand in hers, she didn't know anything. No one told her anything so that her condition wouldn't worsen, but how could Y/N hide something like that from her sister?

The heartbreaking silence caught them again like a wild beast. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Y/N… Please tell me, where is Nat?” Jules pleaded with a shaky voice. This time, tears of sadness began to fall down her face.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N sniffled. “She… Natasha did not survive the crash. I'm sorry.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Jules brown eyes only expressed deep, heartbreaking sadness.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“No… God, no… She can't be dead, I still feel her here.” Jules begged and placed a hand on her chest; they both began to cry together before the loss. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The loss of a best friend and of a soulmate. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“PUSH!” The doctor's requests became more and more insistent, they were the last pushes.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

In a scream of pure pain, physical and especially emotional, the woman screamed, pushing harder than ever. Screamed because of the helplessness she felt, she screamed because of the injustice, she screamed because of her broken heart.

A heart that was beating wildly.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ “I'm here with you, okay? You will never be alone. I love you.” Y/N reminded her over and over again, closing her eyes and giving Jules all the support in the world in that last push.

And after that, a hopeful cry made them both look at the doctor, who soon handed the little baby over to the nurse. After wrapping it in a blanket, Christine walked over to show the baby to them.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“It's a beautiful girl.” Christine said tenderly seeing how Jules smiled completely in love, excited, destroyed. That beautiful, reddish baby who moved her hands desperately seeking connection.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Look at her… You’re a mom now.” Y/N smiled and kissed her sister's forehead, watching her niece with enormous tenderness. “Baby bumblebee is a girl, look at her.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“She’s beautiful… kinda looking like a red potato tho.” Jules laughed and leaned down to kiss her little girl's forehead gently. Jules closed her brown eyes for a moment, holding the baby against her chest so she could say some last words to her. That was it, all she needed.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

In soft whispers, she said the most beautiful things and the most beautiful promises that Y/N could have heard. And Y/N knew at that moment that this baby would never suffer the same that she suffered with her own mother.

Looking at that tiny adorably newborn, who now had their hearts forever.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Y/N…” Jules barely whispered, feeling her muscles begin to lose strength. That was the sad cue to give the little one to Y/N to hold. “You have to take care of her…”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Sure I will. With you, with Wanda and Yelena... We will all do it together.” Y/N held the little girl in her arms and nodded. She didn't even know how to hold a baby, but she tried. It was such a small thing in her hands, how was it possible?

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Jules swallowed and blinked rapidly, reaching out to take Y/N's arm. Her breathing seemed somewhat agitated, quite abnormal. “Y/N, look at me, promise me you'll take care of her.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I promise. I swear.” Y/N nodded, not quite understanding what it meant.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Smiling sadly but lovingly, Jules raised her hand to caress her sister's face. “You know I love you with all my heart, right? There’s no better person than you to do this… I'll be forever grateful.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Do what? What are you talking about?” Y/N frowned.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Tell my little girl that we love her, okay? Always remind her of that. Her moms will always take care of her.” The woman sighed, her eyes closing but she fought with all her might to stay awake for a few more seconds. Please, God, just a few more seconds.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Shaking her head, Y/N approached her sister. “You will tell her, okay? Just stay awake.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

A screeching beep made Y/N jump, the little girl in her arms began to cry. ㅤㅤㅤ

“Jules, what's going on?” She tried to keep Jules awake, but the paleness on her face worried her even more. “CHRISTINE, WHAT’S WRONG?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“She's losing a lot of blood!” Christine hurried over so she could see what was happening. Sure enough, blood loss from childbirth was to blame.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I'm feeling a little tired.” Jules muttered tiredly. “Remember you promised.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Please, don’t… don’t do this.” Y/N took her hand and began to cry, begging her to stay by her side. “Please, she needs you. I need you… You are all I have left. You're the only family I have left!” Y/N pleaded, sobbing.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I love you, Y/N/N. I'll always be with you.” She smiled at her one last time, finally allowing herself to rest.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Crying inconsolably, Y/N felt fear, anguish and desolation destroying her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“She’s coding!”

ㅤㅤㅤ

One of the nurses came over to take the baby away, telling Y/N that they should take her out now.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Where are they taking the baby? No, tell me! where is she going?” Y/N screamed in despair.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N put their hands to their head, completely overwhelmed by everything that is happening around her. The sounds, the screams, the crying.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“No, no, no.” Y/N repeated over and over again, moving closer to Jules to try to wake her up, cup her face and talk to her.

One of the nurses reached out to pull Y/N away from her, but the woman struggled to hold on to her sister's body. It took three nurses to get her away from Jules, allowing them to start the defibrillator.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“One, two.” Christine ordered before placing the paddles on Julia's chest. “One, two.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N screamed inconsolably, seeing how they tried to save her sister's life but after several attempts, they only found that her heartbeat was no longer heard.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on, Julia! Stay with us!” Christine asked, trying many more times.

ㅤㅤㅤ But after a few minutes, they stopped. She was gone.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Fuck!” The doctor tossed the paddles aside, completely heartbroken.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Lightning crashes, a new mother dies.

ㅤㅤㅤ

But the one who was heartbroken was Y/N, watching her sister's body, taking slow steps towards her. But far from seeing that tender look, that adorable smile, she found just a pale and abandoned body.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Jules?” Y/N whimpered like a little girl, reaching out to take her hand. “Jules, no, please. Don’t leave me, please.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She allowed herself to stay by Jules' side for a while, venting all her pain.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Time of death?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“04:30 AM”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Feeling like it was all a huge sadistic joke on the fucking universe. Auntie Claire was gone, but she still had Jules. A beautiful part of her aunt had remained in her.

Now Jules was gone, and all that remained of her was this little girl.

Completely numb, she left that room with a lost look. What had to be done now? Where to go? Y/N walked slowly down the hall, until Wanda finally saw her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Detka? What is it?” The sokovian asked desperately. Those red eyes showed that she had been crying for a long time over the loss of Natasha. “Is Jules okay? Are they both okay?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Still looking blank, Y/N murmured: “She died.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What? No!” Wanda shook her head, she couldn't believe all this.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“She died after giving birth.” Y/N swallowed. “I'm so sorry.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh my god.” Wanda burst into tears, holding on to the wall for a moment. “a-and the baby?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It’s a girl. She’s at the baby nursery now.” Finally coming out of her shock at seeing Wanda suffer like that, she went over to hug her. So tightly, allowing both of them to cry together. “What the hell is going on?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

The hours passed, Y/N looked down, seeing her black coffee that she was holding in her hands. Wanda was on the phone with Yelena and Natasha's parents to explain the situation to them. Of course it was one of the most difficult moments of her life.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“They’re going to fly from Ohio, going to the airport now.” Wanda sighed, walking over and putting her phone in her pocket. “Yelena was really pissed off, but I heard that Alexei was devastated. Melina too.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Gently, she took her girlfriend's arm and rested her head on Y/N’s shoulder.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I'm sorry you have to go through all this.” Y/N murmured, drinking that coffee that didn't even seem to save her this time.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You don't have to be sorry, they were my friends too. Our friends, our sisters.” Wanda sighed. “I love you, and I will always be by your side. I'll support you in everything.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N tilted her head to see Wanda and confirmed once more that this woman was the love of her life. That she had always been by her side, and she always would be.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It's all so unfair, you know? How is it possible?” Y/N swallowed hard so she wouldn't sob again. “How is it possible that we survived so much to end up like this?! Is this karma for what we did?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“No, detka. Of course not.” Wanda cooed, hugging her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

A few minutes later, one of the nurses came out of the door and invited them inside. After agreeing to sign some papers and follow some steps, they approached the nursery ward, looking through that huge window at the adorable babies in their cribs.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N looked for the little girl somewhat worried, what if she wasn't there? Fear washed over her until she was finally able to recognize her, not far from them.

Wanda smiled as soon as she saw her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“She’s a beautiful baby.” The nurse smiled, showing them the test results. Everything was okay, the baby girl was healthy. “What's the little girl's name?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

That question clearly affected Y/N deeply, she justtried not to get emotional again. Those eyes were tired from crying.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“They wanted to keep it as a surprise.” Wanda answered for her girlfriend, squeezing her arm in support. “They didn't get to tell us.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

The nurse nodded sadly and was about to leave until Y/N spoke.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Natalia.” Y/N whispered. “Because… because their names were Natasha and Julia… and… i-if you mix the names… I think Natalia sums it up pretty well.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

The nurse nodded, wrote down that name so she could put it on the bracelet that the baby would wear for the rest of the night. Natalia Romanoff Y/L/N.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Is it stupid?” Y/N whispered to Wanda, who just shook her head. “Do you think they would like it?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It’s a beautiful name, detka.” The brunette kissed her cheek. “Do you know what it means?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N just shook her head, trying not to pout.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“It means ‘natale domini’, christmas day. A sweet name like Natalia will always remind her how loved she is, they'll love it.” Wanda hugged Y/N's, both watching that adorable baby. The nurse took Natalia in her arms and brought her closer so they could see her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Oh, she was adorable even yawning.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I don't know how to do this.” Y/N confessed quietly, completely terrified but ready to face that huge monster called fear.

ㅤㅤㅤ

And by her side, Y/N had the most important woman in the world. Wanda looked at her with those green eyes full of love, swearing her loyalty forever. “I will help you, detka, everything will be fine. You can do this.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Desperate and tired, Y/N moved from one side to the other holding that baby of barely eight weeks. She spent nights without being able to sleep well, completely in despair.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Please, Natalia. Stop crying.” Y/N begged, squeezing her eyes shut to keep from exploding. Little Natalia had been crying for a long time and nothing seemed to calm her down. Y/N was holding a bottle with the infant formula that the doctor recommended.

Y/N gently left the baby in the crib next to her favorite bear, but nothing happened. Natalia kept screaming even more, as if she was daring her lungs to explode.

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“You don't want to eat, your diaper is clean! What the hell do you want?!” Y/N yelled so tiredly, but after a few seconds she started crying next to the baby. “What do you want from me?! I miss and need them too!” Y/N sobbed.They both shared that moment of pain.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Auntie Claire was gone. Jules was gone. Natasha was gone.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Now there was only that little baby left, that adorable little thing next to her and it wasn’t her fault for coming into a desolate world.

She was all Y/N had left of the people she loved the most. How not to be patient with that little bee? It wasn't her fault, and it wasn't Y/N's either.

She allowed herself to cry for a moment and then wiped away her tears, taking Natalia in her arms again. “Now it's just the two of us, okay? They screwed us like that, we have to deal with it.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N sighed.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Okay, let’s try something new…” Y/N walked to the window, looking around with the baby in her arms. She got a nice apartment some months ago. “Your grandma Claire used to sing this… she was such a fan, and your mama loved it too.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I hear your voice. It's like an angel sighin'. I have no choice, I hear your voice… feels like flying. I close my eyes, Oh God, I think I'm fallin'...” She sang softly, like a lullaby. “Like a child, you whisper softly to me. You're in control, just like a child now I'm dancing.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Incredibly, the little girl began to calm down little by little. That heartbreaking cry now turned into A curious look, those little hands trying to catch Y/N's face.

Y/N smiled seeing this great progress, encouraging herself to move a little like a little dance. “It's like a dream… No end and no beginning. You're here with me, Natalia, it's like a dream… cause when you call my name, it's like a little prayer.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Life is a mystery, everyone must stand alone. I hear you call my name and it feels like home.” Natalia moved her hands excitedly, watching every movement of Y/N's lips, even gurgling.

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“That’s it. You liked it, didn't you?” Finally achieving the first bond with the baby, Y/N let out a small laugh of happiness between tears. “I love you, Natalia… I will take care of you forever, even if I have to give my life for you.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She kissed Nat’s forehead and continued rocking her for a while, noticing that now the girl was no longer trying to let go. She just relaxed in those soft arms, beginning to fall asleep until someone knocked on the door.

Y/N walked towards the door, meeting a worried Wanda on the other side.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I read your message, I came as soon as the twins left with Vision.” The brunette approached to kiss her then watched little Nat gurgling. “Everything's okay? What is it?”

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“That’s from the past, now we are at peace.” Y/N smiled and took the bottle to see if Natalia wanted to try it. After a few seconds, the little girl accepted. “She was crying and I didn't understand what she wanted.”

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“I'm proud, Y/N.” Wanda smiled tenderly. She took off her jacket and walked Y/N to her bedroom.

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“Can you stay with me?” Y/N begged with cute eyes and an adorable pout. “With us?”

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Biting her lower lip, watching the love of her life rocking that baby slowly, Wanda just nodded, feeling a strange sensation of familiarity and peace inside her. “Of course, my love.”

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Fifteen minutes later, they were both lying on the bed, watching as Natalia drank her bottle happily cuddling between them. ㅤㅤㅤ

"We've been waiting for you, now you are here. More perfect than I imagined, our house is now a nest. No matter where you go, sunlight shines on you.’

ㅤㅤㅤ

Surprising Y/N with her beautiful voice, Wanda smiled seeing that Natalia closed her cute eyes and relaxed with that lullaby, letting go of the bottle.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“That was beautiful.” Y/N whispered, lost in the beauty of her beloved.ㅤㅤ Wanda smiled tenderly. “You are.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda gently leaned in to give her a short kiss, trying not to disturb the little girl.

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“So… How about we get a boat?” Y/N joked. Vision deposited the money into her bank account the day before, so everything was fine between them for now. “Mmm… no… College fund, right?”

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Wanda bit her lips, trying not to laugh. “Yes, college fund… And pay our bills.”

ㅤㅤㅤ “And put a down payment on a boat.” Y/N teased again, settling between the huge pillows. Wanda did the same, taking Y/N’s hand.

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“We’re not getting a boat.” The sokovian whispered, closing her eyes a bit tired.

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“But they're fun.”

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“They're expensive.”

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“You’re right.” Y/N grimaced and closed her eyes as well, feeling the exhaustion in her body overcome her little by little.

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“College fund, pay our bills and some nice vacation on a beach.” Wanda smiled tenderly when she saw how Natalia was completely sleepy. “There's gotta be some fun in our lives.”

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“I like that.” Y/N smiled sleepily. “I love you…”

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Watching that adorable moment in front of her, Wanda knew that the answer to the question she was asking herself for a long time had already been answered.

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“I love you too, detka.”

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But maybe it was time to go further. And although Y/N didn't know it, Wanda was ready to offer her to move in together. Why not?

“Okay, Natalia. Hold on tight.” Y/N said to the little girl as she adjusted the baby carrier on her chest. Little Natalia smiled tenderly and moved her little legs excited for her. “We're going on our first adventure.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

When little Natalia turned five months old, Wanda and Y/N found a nice place to live together. Of course the twins were delighted with the idea, because having a little sister for them was something really important.

Wanda explained to them the importance of taking care of Natalia and making her their family. But the twins didn't need explanations, they loved the little redhead already.

ㅤㅤㅤ

And slowly, Y/N learned to be a responsible parent.

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She learned that loss didn’t mean having to destroy everything around her, and making Wanda happy and giving Natalia a better life was all she wanted.

Y/N learned how to deal with diapers as well as crying at night, or also with paranoia and fear of losing the little girl.

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Sometimes she stayed watching her for a long time, thinking about how much she resembled to them. Natalia hated being around too many people and cheeky like Natasha, but she also was so warm like Jules.

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“Do you think she will like it?” Y/N asked the twins with some concern, showing them a small velvet box. A beautiful ring was waiting to be delivered to Wanda that night.

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Little Natalia observed the ring with curiosity wanting to grab it so badly, with just a year she didn’t understand anything they said, but she could say things like: ‘Mamma' and 'mommy’.

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“She will love it!” Billy grinned and Tommy nodded. They were both quite excited, and that made Y/N's heart beat faster. The twins have always been a great support.

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Nodding, Y/N knew she had to take the biggest and most important step of her life.

And she did it, because the wedding was the most beautiful moment of their lives.

Wanda's tears of happiness and Y/N's huge happy smile showed it in the pictures. ㅤㅤㅤ

And of course she missed Natasha and Jules a lot, but Y/N knew that wherever they were, they would be happy for them.

Y/N and Yelena formed a much stronger bond, completely unconditional in the absence of their sisters. Both were clear that the important thing was also to give Natalia a beautiful family.

EIGHT YEARS LATER

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“Natalia, your aunt Yelena is here!” Y/N's voice made the adorable redhead startle and leave her room, but not before grabbing her backpack.

Y/N and the blonde walked to the kitchen, where Wanda was baking some cookies.

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“You better take care of her.” Y/N pointed at the blonde and sat down at the table to enjoy some cocoa and cookies. “If you're going to take her fishing in Alexei’s boat, don't let her fall. She's learning to swim.”

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“She will master it soon.” Yelena arched an amused brow and stole one of the cookies, taking a bite. Of course, Y/N's serious look made her add, “I'm just kidding with you, Y/N Y/L/N. We'll just visit my parents and fish in the boat for a little while. Talk about stuff… that’s it.”

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“We know.” Y/N kissed Yelena’s cheek, just to annoy her even more. “I just like to annoy you.”

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“Ugh.” The blonde teased, wiping her cheek.

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“Here's something to eat, in case you don’t wanna buy something.” Wanda smiled when she saw them and took two lunch boxes and a box of fresh cookies. “Chicken paprikash, mac and cheese, your favorite I know, and cookies.”

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“Wanda Maximoff, you are a sweetheart.” Yelena sighed exaggeratedly and leaned in to kiss her cheek, this time trying to annoy Y/N.

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Y/N just giggled and tossed her a small chocolate chip.

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“Okay, it's time. I'll call you as soon as we get there, okay?” Yelena said goodbye to both and walked towards the door. “Let’s go, Natalia!”

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“Coming!” An adorable eight-year-old girl ran down the stairs. She was a redhead, like Natasha and her eyes were light brown like Jules. Natalia was fierce, kinda sarcastic and brave, but also adorable, smart and kind.

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The little girl approached Y/N, hugging her mother tight. “I’ll miss you, mom.”

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Smiling tenderly -and fighting not to turn into an overprotective bear- Y/N hugged her daughter for a moment. “Take good care of your aunt, okay? She’s crazy. Send some hugs to mama Melina and Alexei. Tell them we miss them.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yes, mom!” Natalia smiled toothly. “I'm going with Auntie Yelena, I love you both!”

ㅤㅤㅤ

The little girl kissed Y/N's cheek and then ran to hug Wanda's waist, who kissed the little girl's forehead. “Be careful, okay? We love you, baby.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yes, mama!”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Take care, kiddo!” Y/N got up to see how the girl ran towards the porch, meeting the blonde one. “Don't forget to call us, okay?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N remained watching the place, until Wanda hugged her from behind, snuggling up against her.

There was her little girl, ready to start a new adventure.

ㅤㅤㅤ

It didn't take long for them to decide to have another baby together. Wanda tried an IUI to become mothers and after one attempt, they miraculously managed to conceive a beautiful and healthy baby.

Y/N was quite nervous, fear and memories of her sister in the hospital haunted her, but little by little, Wanda made her understand that everything would be okay.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Nine months later, they both welcomed an adorable baby girl they named Luna Maximoff-Y/L/N.

The children were delighted, even though Natalia felt a bit insecure, when the tiny redhead saw her new sister she swore to take care of her forever. Forming an inseparable bond.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Smiling, seeing how Wanda held her little newborn daughter, singing a tender sokovian lullaby, Y/N knew that although life was sometimes hard, it also had happy and memorable moments.

This was more than a happy place. This was a family.

And she deserved it.

ㅤㅤㅤ

And time passed, year after year, full of happiness.

Of course there were some complex moments, not everything in life is happy moments but always, there were always more beautiful than ugly moments in the lives of those women.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda and Y/N had a beautiful marriage for almost forty years. They saw their twins grow up and become good, kind and respectful men.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Natalia became an incredible, respectable, successful and loving woman. Of course she was a little rebellious at times like Natasha, but she also had responsible moments like Jules. She met an adorable girl on a trip and fell madly in love.

Wanda and Y/N always reminded her that Nat and Jules were her real mothers and they always came to the cemetery to leave some flowers.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Luna was an adorable girl, she was like Wanda. Even with her brown hair and beautiful green eyes, Y/N told Luna that she was her little 'firecracker' because she had her adventurous spirit.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N lived the most beautiful years to the fullest, even when Wanda passed away two years before her, Y/N knew that together they had lived a beautiful life. And death, like loss, no longer affected her the same way.

That night, Y/N passed away sleeping and letting herself fall asleep, leaving in absolute peace.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Opening her eyes slowly, Y/N felt like someone was poking her over and over again inviting her to wake up. “Hey, you.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

A male voice made her eyes widen. “Wake up, lazy ass!”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N got up quickly from the ground, looking moved at the boy in front of her. Pietro looked exactly as he was before the plane accident; his wild hair, those green eyes sparkled.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Finally!” He smiled. She looked around her, it was a nice quiet place, like a warm spring afternoon. Though she had no idea where she was.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Without waiting any longer, Y/N hugged him tightly, closing her eyes. Saying over and over again how sorry she was, and how much she owed him. How thankful she was.

Year after year, the guilt over Pietro's death washed over her and she was finally letting it go.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Everything is okay, captain, all that is behind us.” Pietro hugged the girl and smiled tenderly.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Well, I'm getting a bit jealous over here, and you?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“A bit, yes.” This time it was Natasha, giving Jules a little nudge at her side. They looked exactly as she remembered them, so beautiful.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Nat?” With tears in her eyes, Y/N wasted no time in running to them and hugging them. “Jules!”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“What? Did you think you'd never see us again?” Jules teased, hugging her tightly. “Thank you for everything you did for our little girl.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We are proud to see the woman she has become thanks to you and Wanda.” Natasha smiled and ruffled Y/N's hair.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“That little girl stole my heart from the first moment, I'm glad you are happy.” Y/N sniffled.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We are really happy.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“I'm sorry you couldn't have-” Y/N tried to say but her friends just shook their heads.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We were always there with you.” Jules smiled and put her hand on Y/N’s shoulder.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Closing her eyes for a second, Y/N got lost in that touch that felt so real to her. Wasn't she dreaming?

Suddenly her eyes widened, looking around her with excitement. “Wanda… where is she?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Natasha smiled. “First you must be sure of what you will choose.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N frowned. “What do you mean?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Do you want to stay or do you want to come with us?” This time Jules spoke, all of them began to walk down that path between the trees.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“You must leave all longing behind, you must first accept it.” Pietro nodded. Of course he was referring to her family, who were still alive.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N thought for a moment. Her children would be fine, they were old enough to move on their own. It was her time to move on too.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“They'll be fine.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

With a smile, the three looked at each other and then stepped aside.

Behind them, Wanda was looking at her with a huge smile and a hopeful look.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Detka!”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Without further ado, they hugged each other again, stronger than ever. Their souls finally found each other, entwining once more. “Wands… I missed you, so bad.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N kissed her lips over and over again, desperate for having missed her so much.

Wanda smiled between kisses. “I missed you too.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

They held each other for a moment until Y/N felt how they were surrounded. Not only her friends, but also other people.

One of them made her let go of Wanda’s arms. Y/N felt that the time -if it existed there- stopped completely.

It had been a long time since she saw that girl.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey.” Sharon waved, smirking slightly. Sharon, Helen, Carol, Kate and all the girls who died in that place were around her. This time not like a horrible and haunting nightmare, no. This time it was a welcome.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N blinked and waking up from the reverie, she violently approached her to stop in front of Sharon. She did nothing but feel her tears fall. “I'm sorry about everything. I didn't mean it to end like that, I'm so sorry. I spent all these years thinking about that, I didn't want you to die. I'm so sorry, Sharon.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

She finally cried, letting go of the guilt. Y/N carried Sharon's death for a long time.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Can you forgive me?” Y/N asked Sharon, taking her hand, but the blonde squeezed her hand as a clear answer.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Only if you can forgive us too.” Sharon nodded and just hugged her. “I never hated you, we were young and stupid. We made a lot of mistakes in a place that wasn't for us, but all that is behind us. This place is to rest... all those pains left behind.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

All of them hugged Y/N tightly, welcoming her to a whole new place. Where pain, revenge, violence was left behind.

One by one the whole team approached to join that hug. Like the first time, like that first time after winning the match. If only that plane accident hadn't happened, oh that team would have been unstoppable.

ㅤㅤㅤ

BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!

ㅤㅤㅤ

They all cheered, happy, free.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Okay, move on from here.” Yelena growled. “We must move on, I'm sick of seeing you all even in the fucking heaven.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N turned to look at her, confused. “This is heaven?”

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah, we don’t know? It's more like… a place made up of many heavens? Individual ones? Each of us can rest and lose ourselves in the moments we decide to remember.” Wanda explained, narrowing her eyes, some of the girls nodded. “We don’t need to understand, just… be here. Unless you are a very evil person, we don't know what happens there.” ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ

“But if you're not evil... everyone gets a piece of paradise.” Jules smiled widely.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“We can visit others, but only soulmates can share the same place.” Natasha kissed her wife's cheek, hugging her.

ㅤㅤㅤ

“Ready to meet ours?” Wanda smiled and took the hand of the love of her life.

ㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N inhaled deeply and then nodded. Finally smiling, ready to rest. “Yeah.”

ㅤㅤㅤ

Yup, this is the end. 🐝 I hope I didn't disappoint you. And it was good for you. I know it has not much to do with the tv show -more than the plane crash and some stuff- and I'm happy with that. Maybe there are some one shots later, explaining some moments. Pietro's death and everything... So, thank you very much for reading me, it is always a delight to know that you are here with me. 🐝

the cutest and lovely BEES tags ✨ @kaiidth-wandika @yourfavunsub @pawiie @fanboy7794 @sunsol-22 @scarlettbitchx @arcturusseer @imnotasuperhero @chtte @lesbians-in-outer-space @starry-night17 @cristin-rjd @kenlymar @chtte @marvelogic @druggedduck @aliherreraaa @widowwaddles @gingiesworld @canyonyodeler smromanoff @romanoffomixam✨

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x female reader

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