#2021 or 2020 at least lol

[icewindandboringhorror]

misc. photos of the past few weeks or so :0

#descriptions and context in the captions as usual #I build up TONS of these types of pictures that are just random daily life stuff and not actually costumes or anything interesting and I #always forget to post them or do anything with them so... I will spam a few in a row #but then will be all caught up. This is the most recent one and I think covers like.. #feb 2022 - july 2022 #the other ones I just posted .. gods I'm not sure how far back some of those are #2021 or 2020 at least lol #I do not take a lot of personal pictures often hbhbj #OR I DO but they're literally ALL of the sky #something about me is I take constant pictures of the sky #but like it'd be weird for this blog to post 8 cloud pictures a week and just become a cloud blog and not a 'personal/art blog' so its #like ....... what do I do with them #YEA h in my folders right now (I sort pictures into like 'personal' photos 'cat' photos' nature photos etc. ) #my cloud/sky folder has 685 pictures in it gybhjbhgjh #when I say I love cloud print and sky imagery and stuff I am not joking. that's one of my Big Things on a similar level to cats and snow #(+ other precipitation /weather. I also like rain and sleet and stuff just not as much as snow) #ANYWAY trying to catch up on images since Why Not #I really need to clean pictures off my computer more often since the space is being taken up #I mean not REALLY I think out of 900GB storage I have like 500 used so I still have 400 left AND I make videos #so that's good considering I have hours and hours and hours of game footage laying around #BUT still. that's another thing I'm weird about is being bothered by and always trying to clear away digital clutter lol #if you don't want to see posts like this then just block the tag 'photo diary' since I think thats what I've always used for them in the pas #t and now #and if you do like to see posts like this then you're in luck since I've just posted like 10 of them lmao #anyway #photo diary

[starmagnets]

i’m ngl everything from the end of march to now has just. blurred over.

#my ramblings #not as bad as most of 2020-2021 that i can’t really remember at all bc i was completely dissociated for it at least. lol.

[ricoka]

I looked through old art and I think I needed that

#the passion for the craft #the person i used to be #the steps I've made #even comparing between different times in my life #i will always regret those years in between where i barely touched a pen but it's also no use dwelling on it #i actually found something worthwhile in pieces from 2020 and 2021 as well #i struggled with colouring (as usual) but the lineart and the details and the ideas i put into those #i think i sometimes took the wrong turn when i pursued something i thought other people would want to see #instead of utilising what i was kinda good at #this whole stick of running after the approval of others really fucked with me #I'll never get everyones approval #I'll probably never even get a lot of approval lbr #but if i don't quit running after other people and trying desperately to please I'll never figure out what I actually want to do #what I'm good at and what i can say and portray with my art #i think i need to learn to follow my heart and my path #nothing else I've done has really worked out for me so i can at least make one person happy with what i do #maybe then I'll finally put something i made on my wall as well lol

[disownedbytiime]

A friend who I hadn’t talked to in months was asking me if I’d seen any new shows/anime. And I told her I watched demon slayer bc a friend made me but that it was the first anime I watched since last year’s sk8….. and then I realized that sk8 was released in 2021. I kept thinking it was last year but apparently not??

And now I feel like there’s a hole in my mind. I really can’t organize my memories at all and I feel I don’t remember what I did last year at all? What did I watch? What did I read? What did I even do??

#I’ve been marathoning horror movies but that was since the pandemic started so ig 2020 #but I can’t separate these 3 past years #it’s kind of unnerving though lol ik my memory is bad but this feels wrong. why can’t I remember last year?? #at least I know I wrote a lot but what else?? #scractch that I don’t remember what I wrote anyway. other than jttou #but I started that in… 2021? #I think I need to sleep and maybe tomorrow I can organize my thoughts better #aidé.txt

[chaotictomtom]

!!!! counted it all wrong!!!! i thought ive watched perfectly 365 movies this year but!!! 378 it is ig wtf!

#will not. do this for the next year as i might do either another traineeship that'll be more complex or work or like. #mibbe start up a business???? if i get any help lol wtf??? #anyway!!!!!! it was very fun #did a few months at least a movie a day which was very cool #my initial goal every year is to watch more movies than the year before #i started to log in my diary every movies ive watched only on the 27th of february 2018 #2018: ~129 movies #2019: 199 movies #2020: 241 movies #2021: 264 movies #2022: 378 movies #!!!! wtf!!!! #pog dare i say #anyway throughout the start of 2022 i thought abt mibbe a movie for each day of the year but without having to watch a movie a day #cos i know sometimes i can have big movie brainworms and sometimes the brainworms are dormant #anyway!!! what a year. #might have been a lot of rewatches #that's my goal for next year!!! work on that and watch a lot of the movies on my watchlist!!!!!!! #yipee #tomtom_is_communicating #tomtom_has_brainworms #tomtom_is_rambling

[shehsart]

A coworker told me Selena Gomez has a scary internal illness that causes her face to swell

#lol #girl same #except maybe my swelling isnt as noticeable #but I used to have a moonface back in 2020-2021 #I'll tell you that's the least scary part of it 💀

[amisonist]

fuck it transition timeline

I was originally gonna wait until July to do this because that'll mark 3 years on E but I feel like now's a good time all things considered

With that out of the way lets start from the beginning AKA freshman year (AKA 2018)

This was on my way to band camp which is why you can see my trombone in the background (random fact: that was the only year I got to do marching band and our show was "the music of harry potter". yeah irony's a bitch ain't she?)

Graduation picture featuring the bestest boi Jinn :3

This pic is from 2020 because I switched to online and finished high school early out of spite (I was 16 here if you were wondering)

Now then this is from 2021 and was taken only about a week before I started hrt when I was 17

The lake in the background is Lake Superior in case you were wondering. Me and my mother were all the way up on the Keweenaw Peninsula for my family's 4th of July party held at the family farm

Moving on from that I started HRT on July 22 2021 (the appointment was at 9:30 am and I took my first dose at 7:42 pm yes I kept track)

This was taken like a half hour after my first dose (I actually don't really like this pic that much but I'm including it because it is important)

Fast forward from that a year to 2022 when I was 18 and here are a few pics of me around then one of which again featuring best boi Jinn

(it was windy out that day and he tried to bite me immediately after this lmao)

I've never been particularly good at taking selfies lmao

That brings us to now. I've been on hrt for about 2.5 years now if my math is correct. I'm pretty much living full time as a woman, started laser hair removal a couple months ago (next apt is actually tomorrow lol), and I'm working on getting my legal name and gender changed. It's been a long ride thus far and I don't really plan on stopping anytime soon so yeah here ya go

So that's it! At least thus far lol

also fuck photomatt 🚗🔨💥

#Trans #Transgender #transition timeline #queer #lesbian #long post #I might have gotten a little bit carried away there lol #🚗🔨💥 #idgaf if this is cheesy or whatever #I kinda like how it turned out #took too long to gather all these together #I like never take pics of myself #my camera roll is just 4000 memes

[lochfolk-lover]

can't tell if i just have rlly bad allergies or might be sick. Fuck.

#luv.txt #sickness tw #swearing tw #/aaaa it sucks even more bc i wasn't sick at all in 2020-2021 so now i think my body just #/amplifies shit 29482838x more #/this must be allergies.... #/or bc i stay up too late reguarly #/maybe my throat is just giving up on me bc i scream so much lol #/i'm still Functioning at least..! #semi vent #/it's the end of the school year soon jadyn don't give up now..

[striveattemptfail]

in prime earth canon, jason todd (NOT red hood) was* publicly known to be alive

red hood: outlaw (2018) #32 (ID in alt text)

considering that jason todd was the official owner of the iceberg lounge during this time, it's likely he acquired the lounge legally and thus can be inferred that he had to be declared legally alive to do so

which brings me to my point:

i've seen a lot of people writing/speculating the difficulties and limitations jason experiences bc he was declared legally dead after ethiopia, which is all well and good, and is fantastic fodder for angst

but i've been wondering if this was bc people are actively ignoring canon (valid) or simply didn't know that at one point* jason was publicly alive (also valid, bc following comics is a shitshow lol)

please reblog to increase visibility! the whole point of this poll is to gauge how many people know this, so i'd love to see this post reach as many people as possible. thank you~! 😅🙏

(* big disclaimer under the cut!)

note: all of this info is as of may 2023. i am only one human so it's impossible for me to read every comic jason has been in since rhato (2016) and remember every single thing that happened. if anything i said above the cut is incorrect now, i apologize! /o\

for reference, as of creating this poll i've read:

red hood and the outlaws (2016) #1-26

red hood: outlaw (2018) #27-52

task force z (2021) #1-12

batman: urban legends (2021) #1-6 – cheer pt.1-6

the joker: the man who stopped laughing (2022) #3-5

i haven't read a lot of other important runs like death metal (2020), three jokers (2020), robins (2021), etc. if jason (NOT red hood) was declared dead once again in any of those, that is the reason why i used "was" in the very first sentence of this post and reiterate that he was alive at least for a limited period

my bad that i missed his second legal death tho LOLLL

i'm also aware that red hood (NOT jason) was known as "dead" by others after task force z (even though he clearly didn't die). that said, in the little i've read of tj:tmwsl, it seems that 1) not everyone knows red hood is actually alive, and/or that 2) red hood died at all. again, if red hood is generally known to be alive after tfz, that's on me

if there's anything else i've missed, let me know!! i'll update/reblog this post for as long as the poll is up (-u-)b

#red hood #jason todd #red hood and the outlaws #red hood: outlaw #red hood: outlaws #batman #batfam #batfamily #batbros #batbrothers #jayroy #royjay #kylejay #jaykyle #jayrose #jaytemis #dickjay #jaydick #timjay #jaytim #jercy speaks #poll #polls #.i am going to infect the tags bc i need the largest reach possible and i won't apologize for it #.also my answer is in the replies lol

[bunnywabigheart]

HASAN NSFW HEADCANNON PLS ANYTHING WORKS!!

ask and you SHALL receive

I’ve been a longtime hasanabi fan (established in 2021 🫡) and I’ve heard WAYYY too much into about this man’s sex life you’ve picked the right person lol

NSFW HASANABI HCS!!! ❤︎₊ ⊹

- you’ve known Hasan since 2020 but you two only started OFFICIALLY AND PUBLICLY dating in like march/april/may 2023

- and if you had KNOWN the dick would be THAT GOOD you DEFINITELY would’ve confessed ur feelings earlier

- you’ll be seeing sex through a WHOLE NEW LENSE

- from dating for maybe like three weeks you already know what makes Hasan “break”

- anytime yall are out with friends? teasing. IRL stream he can’t end abruptly just to fuck you? teasing. halloween? forget it you might as well just wear a bikini because we all know that costumes being ripped APART

- your lowkey obsessed with his hands oh mannn

- and bestie…if ur into cosplay better start running (I remember one time he might’ve said something abt being like addicted to roleplay??? BUT DON’T QUOTE ME ON IT)

- he is going to want to fuck u IN cosplay

- literally thinks you’re the most beautiful thing ever to exist

- tbh you blow all his ex’s AWAYYY (am I projecting…? okay fine I am a little bit lol)

- but fr you really do he looks at you like you created the universe

- and I’m not saying you’ll be “addicted” to his dick bc “addicted” is a strong word but idk

- during his streams you’ll be bursting in and being like “heyyy whatcha doing?”

- trying to watch and engage in whatever he’s watching, trying your best to tease him without getting a TOS violation or banned, etc., etc.

- him trying to shoo you away with a stunlock but then coming to see you during a “pee break”

- y’all spend at least ten minutes going at it

- chat going like “bro is taking a long ass piss 💀”

- comes back sweaty af, hair messy…yeah we all know what happened buddy you can’t fool us

A/N: I’m so sorry I couldn’t get more requests out I’ve been so busy with school and shit and haven’t been on tumblr or even watching many of Hasan’s streams lately :’( but here’s my present to u ily all see you soon!

xoxo,

bunny!

#hasanabi #twitch streamer fanfic #hasan piker x reader #hasan x reader #hasanabi x reader #fanfic

[neil-gaiman]

TW: Self-harm, slight mention of suicide, eating disorder, sexual stuff, drugs, etc.

I don't know how to start this, so I'll just write it down (I put a TW, in case you reblog it).

In 2019 just a few days before Good Omens premiered on Prime Video, I started self-harming, I was about 10/11 years old, I started doing it because of problems with my identity, problem with my family and the bullying I received.

I started watching the show and I must admit that from there I started to be your fan, I was not good at searching for information so I just read Coraline and watched GO.

In 2020 I had one of the worst moments of my life, I was 12, I started having problems with food, my weight and appearance, and I hadn't accepted that I was trans yet.

Everything that had happened last year came back stronger, I found even more series that I liked and finally I could read Good Omens in physical (i mean, physical book).

In 2021 was literally the worst year, I was raped by a teacher at 12 (in December, about 17 days before my birthday), a few days after I turned 13, I started getting high, sexualized to get male affection from men much older than me, and my eating disorder and self-harm were much stronger.

The only thing that calmed me down from all that situation for at least a while were your books, movies and series.

Then, in 2022, my vids improved a little, I got off drugs and bulimia, self-harm was getting regulated, and at the end of the year I stopped self-harming, I also stopped caring what people said and started to enter the English community of my favorite fandoms (I learned more English with that, than with my private lessons lol).

And today, in 2023, at the age of 14, I'm happy to be your fan, I'm proud of your work, and very excited for the second season.

Thank you for saving my life, I love you. (I'm not afraid to admit that you saved my life from committing suicide 6 times).

I’m so glad you are here. Well done!!

[shiftingconfessions]

A lot of these new shifters who came from TikTok and Amino are lying. Not because their stories are unrealistic—they are realistic—but it's because Amino was coded the same way. In 2021, everyone got exposed for lying, and now on TikTok, they're admitting they're lying for attention. Now, shifting is real; I have been doing it since 2019, but be careful who you're following and who you're listening to. A lot of these new shifters who ran away from TikTok because it's crumbling are just Wattpad writers or having a false attempt at living "in the end" in hopes that helps them shift. And then, others are just having lucid dreams or false awakenings and calling it a day. Please do your own research; shifting is very real. Stick to the old shifters on here—I can think of 3—not anyone who came during 2024. The quality of shift Tumblr is becoming juvenile, which is sad because it's been one of the best communities thus far. Take from the OG and please dip so you don't slow down your own journey. This has happened on every platform, unfortunately, but the people engrossed in drama are lying and attention-seeking.

The stories that literally sound like they're Wattpad-coded or just make no sense to the foundation of shifting are lying; the questionable memories are lucid dreams or a hypnagogic state. Again, shifting is REAL, the law is REAL, manifesting is real, but a lot of people are uneducated and literally want to spread misinformation and lies for shits and giggles, and it's embarrassing. Keep it on Amino and TikTok—you know who I am talking about. m unfortunately but the people engrossed in drama are lying and attention seeker, the stories that literally sound like they’re wattpadd coded or just make no sense to the foundation of shifting or lying, the questionable memories are lucid dreams or hypnagogic state. Again shift is REAL the law is REAL manifesting is real but a lot of people are uneducated and literally want to spread the misinformation and lies for shits and giggles and it’s embarrassing keep it on amino and tik tok you know who I am talking about

As someone who shifts often and meets with other wise shifters across realities , here are some tips:

1. **Stick to the Law**: The law of assumption will not fail you and is always in operation. Learn about it.

2. **Avoid Useless Debates**: Stop engaging in meaningless debates; this isn't drama club. Those involved in such debates likely aren't shifting—they're like crabs in a bucket.

3. **Embrace Lucid Dreams**: Lucid dreams can be your best friend. You sleep for a third of your life, so use it to your benefit!

4. **Believe It's Possible**: Yes, you can shift without trying, but most won't achieve this because you can't do something you don't believe to be true. Don't lie to yourself; honesty is key to progress. It’s okay to want techniques and use them, it’s okay to be lazy sometimes but some of you guys are being lazy without the assumption that will aid you so it will not work!! Shifting is worth it but some work in it’s okay…

5. **Don't Let Doubts Hold You Back**: Understand that your doubts can't stop you. Don't attach yourself to them.

6.Use Methods That Fulfill You: Stop copying others. There are no rules to shifting, which is why it works differently for everyone. Just because a method worked for someone else doesn't mean it will work for you in the same way.

7. **Feeling Is the Secret**: Your emotions and feelings play a crucial role in shifting.

8. **Have Faith in Yourself**: If you doubt everything else, at least have faith in yourself. Shifting is a part of you and is within you.

Good luck, and research wisely! Shifting is very real it’s so amazing guys. Please don’t scroll too much on this app anymore the quality has gone to shit in the last week or two and it will get worse.. don’t make the same mistakes everyone did in 2020!!!! You all can do it even the people currently lying (and it’s very obvious pls log off lol) they can do it too :)! To infinity and beyond my friends ☯️

.

#reality shifting #shiftblr #shifting realities #desired reality #shifting community #shifting

[hamyilton]

Thinking about that Verstappen post I reblogged earlier, it’s interesting to me that on a site that’s very liberal and left-leaning, where racist or other bigoted beliefs are typically shut down right away, that so many people here are fans of MV. I’ve done some thinking on it and I believe his fans fall into these types of groups:

1.Max fans who were fans well before 2020 and formed strong emotional attachments (as he had never said anything outright offensive before this time, and ignoring the incident with Ocon). I believe that having to admit you liked Max before he did and said these shitty things and thus having to craft a whole new blog is simply too much of a task for people, and these are likely people that are big proponents of the fandom characterizations of Max that ignore his real personality and actions. So, these people are aware of his shitty actions but ignore it for the purposes of fandom.

2. People who were fans of his before 2020 and know about his actions but just don’t care, I guess to them racism and ableism are excusable if you really like someone/think they’re hot.

3. Fans that do not know the shitty things that Max has done and are truly ignorant. These are most likely people who started watching F1 after 2022 as I feel like it would be hard to watch the 2021 season without being aware of the controversies lol. They think people only dislike Max because of his domination and are also riding on the back of the popularity of lestappen which was (at least how it seems on Tiktok) a lot of peoples introduction to F1 fandom.

This has been sitting with me for a while, trying to reconcile how people could support someone who’s said racist things (including that he did not believe in BLM when Lewis approached him about support, disrespected Lewis’ father, refused to name him in interviews, drove recklessly like Monza 2021, and the use of slurs etc.) with the larger liberal and social justice oriented Tumblr community. Like, I do genuinely feel bad for people that liked Max in the time before he actively said and did more shitty things, but like, if you can really support someone who behaves so awfully and can be a real danger on track, I don’t believe you can call yourself a true advocate for equality and fairness. And I haven’t even mentioned Abu Dhabi 2021 yet but the fact that it’s remembered now as “drama” instead of one of the most egregious examples of a championship being manipulated against the sport’s only Black driver…like it makes me fucking sick to my stomach. So many people quit watching F1 because of that and I really don’t blame them because it showed the complete lack of integrity of the sport itself.

Anyway, this is something I’ve been thinking about for a while now considering I’ve had to block what feels like a hundred MV fans because it’s so upsetting to see. And to see people write Lewis/Max fanfiction it feels like I’m living in an alternate reality because how can people not know??

Anyway rant over.

#been sitting on this one for a while #f1 #I won’t tag anyone specific #me

[kafus]

ok i've decided i want to infodump about vee and nova a little after all! because uhh not only am i impatient because autism but i also. want to dip my toes into talking about this. just days ago i was still terrified but now i am Tentatively Brave... if i can talk about it here casually like this then i should be able to write a more formal summary later some other time

i've tagged this post appropriately (at least i think i have, feel free to suggest if i should add more) but also a heads up here too before i keep talking that while i'm not going into graphic detail on anything there are STRONG themes of organized sexual abuse of a child, sexual abuse of animals, and grooming! (there are no disturbing visuals in this post, just text)

IF YOU CAN'T READ THIS POST THAT'S OKAY I STILL LOVE U

takes a deep breath alright so the deal with these two. back all the way in 2021, i decided i wanted to make "vent ocs" as in i just wanted some concrete/consistent designs i could use in vent art drawings that weren't a direct reflection of what i envision myself to look like or whatever. i was going through a lot in 2021, in december 2020 i had just gotten my first big repressed memory back and my life was in a whirlwind of change and heavily increased PTSD and DID symptoms, so i was using art a lot as an outlet. in the end i settled on this drawing, based on the design taste i would have had as a young person (god the quality is so old now LOL i've improved a lot but anyway)

i was intending for these two to be just visual designs and nothing more than that but i got attached and actually ended up giving them a whole storyline and everything, which is something i admittedly hadn't done in a long time up to that point so that's cool.

the reason i preface explaining the premise of the storyline with this is because i think it's important to acknowledge that these two are intrinsically tied with my real life and the feelings i experience as a CSA/OA survivor. not because i think someone has to go through awful things to write or draw about them necessarily, but because i am passionate about expressing myself. it's important for me to be seen in some way, to be heard after years of silence. it is not safe for me mentally to share the exact details of my abuse online rn (and please don't ask for them!) but i also don't want these two to be removed from the message that i survived something and this is me making art about that in an abstracted and magical way with a fictional universe that brings me a lot of comfort. i hope this makes sense lol

oh and also with that in mind if you think for even a second any of this is a weird sex thing for me or some shit please stop reading this post and go do something else with your time. this is my trauma expression and i don't need to be compared to the people i was abused by when i was a literal toddler thank you!

AANYWAY so! premise! gonna be point blank with it! vee (not her original name but shh) is born as a normal 100% human girl, aka without the eevee ears and tail. she is groomed from a very young age (like, toddler age) and eventually abducted by her groomers which happen to be members of... well right now it's team rocket because i haven't spent the time to worldbuild a new villainous pokemon organization yet. roll with me here. she is taken to a remote facility out in the middle of fucking nowhere and is never returned to her previous life or family.

Why? well i'm glad you asked! the org is running a bunch of different experiments in this facility and one of them happens to be trying to enable humans reproducing with pokemon. this doubles as both a money thing and a power thing. they seek out a child as the victim of these horrible experiments because children are easily malleable. way easier to control a child than an adult who already has a firm identity/self.

vee is the child they chose. surgery is forcibly done on her to give her working eevee ears and tail, and also like, fuck with her body chemistry and stuff. she's biologically part eevee now. yes this is bullshit pokemon magic science LMAO but she is kept in this facility and chronically sexually abused for a few years by pairing her with various mons and trying to get eggs to happen.

the experiment isn't working though so they hypothesize that giving her a dedicated partner, especially of the same evolutionary line, would help, and they raise nova from birth as an eevee to take on that role. eventually the two of them are paired together. despite the acts they are forced to commit on each other and the abuse they endure, they actually become inseparable very quickly cause like. they don't have anyone else. and also they just genuinely care about each other. additionally at this point nova has evolved into an espeon and has telepathic powers, so him and vee can communicate linguistically with each other, so you know that helps

generally my current focus of this story is in the early years, when vee is 12 and younger, before they start realizing that shit is fucked up and they need to escape (up until that hypothetical point they have been successfully groomed into believing everything happening to them was not abuse/was normal). i have left out a metric fuckton of detail here just to get across the basic premise. i am constantly exploring vee's psyche, nova's psyche, it's like an in depth exploration of the mind of an abused child in horrific circumstances and god it's cathartic. i love these two so fucking much

btw i guess this art has more context now huh haha after i infodumped off the plot to my sister they looked at this art again and was like. OHHH THIS IS EVEN MORE OMINOUS AND HARD TO LOOK AT WITH CONTEXT. AND I WAS LIKE YEAH!!!! YOU SEE THE VISION!!! THE SYMBOLISM!! ETC!!!!

uh yeah if you read this far thank you and i just wanna say i've been building up the courage to talk about these two for GENUINELY two years, it has been over 2 full years since that initial drawing, and i am nervous and jittery posting this but i do not want to die without having shared my work with the world and i'm willing to take the risks to get my voice out there. so you reading it is very much appreciated ur like my first step into being more confident as a survivor lol

oh and fwiw despite these guys being so correlated with my trauma it's not offensive to make headcanons or ask me questions about them or compliment darker art of them however you want, in fact i love that shit!! please i've been holding these guys back for two years i have so much to say that hasn't been said. as much as i am nervous i am EXCITED

#sa tw #mind control tw #csa tw #oa tw #abuse tw #this post is a bit of a mess sorry! #this is why im sort of “drafting” my summary as a stream of consciousness infodump #i need to tackle having the confidence talking about this first #just get it out no matter how messy #and THEN i can clean it up and present it in an artistically pleasing way #kiki was here #kiki.txt #vee & nova

[mod2amaryllis]

I'm waiting for this migraine to die so I'm gonna tell you guys about Marshall, the dog who made me quit. read on if you wanna learn about extended quarantine and why this job sucks sometimes and other times is the most rewarding thing on the planet, often for the same reasons lmao.

in 2021, the weight of covid was kinda crashing down. i heard this was the case for a lot of health workers. we switched into emergency mode throughout 2020 and powered through, then the rest of the world decided to try and "get back to normal" a year later, giving no regard to the people who'd been working like a speeding train with the brakes off all that time. i was losing it!!! add a few more hay bales to my back when we hired a new doc who was the most demanding dude I'd ever met (still is, but we've come to some understanding lol) and who decided to run me as ragged as possible the first day he was left to his own devices.

that was the day Marshall came in.

i didn't talk about this back then because the outcome of the case was uncertain and the details so specific, but here's the run down knowing that 2 years later, Marshall is living his best life. when he was a baby, too young to have received a rabies vaccine, his owners found a rabies positive bat in the house. the state vet will always recommend euthanasia in these situations, OR, if you can somehow find and afford the option, a 6 month quarantine. this was such a tragic situation the owners were willing to try to save him. my clinic happens to have a decent isolation ward that's rarely in use; we use it for infectious patients like parvo puppies, uri's that have to be hospitalized, etc. so my boss agreed to take him for those 6 months. but the owners' caveat was that if he wasn't mentally adjusting to isolation after a couple weeks, they would euthanize so as not to put him through it and leave him with lifelong behavior issues.

that day, when animal control brought Marshall in the middle of an insane rush, we were short staffed and already at the end of our ropes with this new doc. i was the only qualified person who could talk to the officer. i was the only person who could take him back to isolation. the act of putting a 12 week old puppy in a 4 x 4 run where i knew he would either spend 6 months untouched, or never see the outside again, broke me. last straw.

i was a mess, for the rest of that day and the rest of that weekend having to go in and take care of him, when it was too early for him to adjust so i was sure he wouldn't make it. I'd come home sobbing. eventually jose was just like, "this isn't worth it any more," and i sent in a two weeks notice. i'd come close to doing so many times in the previous 6 years but never pulled the trigger. it took a total meltdown. my managers responded with regret, but understanding.

i wish i could've just felt free and done with it but for those two weeks i was just uncertain. this job is so complicated. the benefits for my pets are enormous; it's my main social network; it's income; I'm good at it and it gives me purpose. it's just also hell on earth! with no pressure from anyone else one way or the other, by the end of two weeks I'd decided to instead try going part time. that's where I'm at 2 years later so guess it worked lol.

but! there was still Marshall. shortly after we took him, we also happened to get a call for the same situation on 2 cats, and decided to take them as well. 3 animals on a 6 month quarantine. very new and daunting for all of us.

that first weekend was hard, but slowly, Marshall figured things out. it was the least ideal situation imaginable and i was at rock bottom and so was he, but i had this moment of like.....ok. if he wants to make this work, I'm gonna do as right by him as possible. and of course all us techs were helping him (one of my road dog coworkers always opened so i referred to her as his "morning mom") but i in particular took a special interest in training and enrichment. it became a passion. i was working less, but i volunteered extra weekends so i could see him more.

he was so young he hadn't even done much basic command training, and the fact that i couldn't touch him at all was a challenge. i started with a clicker to signal I'd rolled a treat into his run, since i couldn't give it to him directly. over those months we went through the basics: sit, down, paw, touch, using a back scratcher for a hand. part of the worry was him getting enough exercise; we noticed that when he'd get agitated, he'd jump on the bars non stop. i was like hmm that might be our only option, so i made "up" a command. i'd basically run burpies for exercise, up-sit-down-sit-up. he was a fast learner, very attentive. seeing him keep his wits about him like that was straight up thrilling. he even "potty trained" himself, barking like crazy whenever he'd go to the bathroom so we'd know right away he needed the run cleaned.

in the ward, there are 2 runs and 3 kennels. i trained Marshall to go back and forth between runs so we could clean. we'd have his food waiting for him in the next run over so he could eat while we'd clean; at the midday switch, he'd have a doggie popsicle. he was such a smart dog i knew toys and treats alone weren't cutting it for enrichment, and i couldn't constantly train him when i still had to be doing the rest of my job.

i started having everyone save every single box and paper-packaging that came in. i'd unfold some boxes for "bedding," so he'd at least have something between him and the concrete (he'd chew and eat any blanket we tried giving him). the rest, i turned into puzzles. i put treats inside and closed them up. put big boxes on their side in his run so he could go in and out. crumpled up paper-packaging with treats mixed in for him to dig through. every day i'd turn one run into a box-toy paradise, let him in, clean the other, and by the time i was checking back in on him he was snoozing in a pile of destruction. success. when other techs wouldn't go to the same lengths, i'd stay late pre-making his boxes and telling people to just throw them in dammit. i also queued several ambient sound playlists, birdsong cityscapes etc, to play on the weekend days when he was alone for long periods.

the months went by like this. i learned more about training, enrichment, and most specifically quarantine than i ever had outside of my experiences with my own puppies. we fell into a routine. we straight up loved each other, he was part of my life. he'd been this horrible trigger and pretty much doubled my workload, but he got to live.

then there were the cats! they were a little easier than Marsh just because they were already adults so didn't have all this energy to wrangle. for them, daily cleaning of course, taking turns going into the 1 empty kennel where i'd have treats, catnip, and other "new" smells waiting for them. for enrichment i focused on reconfiguration. every 2-3 days i'd rearrange things in their kennels, with the big pieces being a litter box, a bed, and an upright sturdy box (so they could either be in it or on top of it, giving them one upper level). it was habitat tetris. we'd play with strings and use the back scratcher for pets. then about every week, i'd switch their kennels to slightly change their view AND traded beds to mingle scents. they were from the same household and we were worried there'd be difficulty re-bonding after not being in direct contact for so long. they also did very well by the end of 6 months aside from gaining a lot of weight (oops). i learned just as much from them, and would love to help anyone else who might struggle with needing to quarantine pets.

i've seen people posting for help about similar situations and just wanna scream from the rooftops: the beginning is very daunting and hopeless, but animals aren't like us!!!!!! they do the best with what they got!!!!! if you work hard and keep them clean and develop a routine it'll all work out!!!!! Marshall walked out of there at 6 months a normal happy puppy in desperate need of a haircut.

it's interesting because i've never interacted much with his owners. i don't think they know i'm the one who kept him from losing his mind in there, even though everyone else at the clinic does, and i'm weirdly ok with that. the other day he came in cuz the dummy ate a bunch of meds he wasn't supposed to; the doc brought him to the back and instantly, Marshall rushed right for me. he still remembers me in a good way. there's still love. it's like...one of the few patient relationships i've had that feels truly deeply personal. in retrospect i think he had a bigger hand in healing my relationship with this career and animals in general than i realized at the time.

so thanks for making me quit Marshall. i feel a lot better now.

(i don't have any pics of him from that time (tragic ssd card accident) but he was an overgrown doodle puppy so he looked like this.)

#vet med #vet tech #work stuff #m2a #I've always wanted to tell this story it had such an impact on me

[the-heart-of-a-monster]

I’ve been gone for so long but I have so much to say and idk how to say it so please be prepared for an absolute mess of an ask lol

First, I just really wanna give appreciation for Super Emeralds (The comic creator) and their dedication to THOAM. I’ve been on Tumblr for just a little more than a year at this point, and I only joined in the first place because of this comic. I got into it way back in… What was it, 2020?? 2021? And I fell in love immediately with the concept! Sonic feeling insecure about his new Werehog form? Chip being an active member of the team and a great friend?? TEAM DARK??? SONADOW DONE RIGHT?????????? Ohohoho! You can bet I was completely on board! I tried my best to comment on every page, because I just love giving positive feedback for things I enjoy, and took note of how Super Emeralds evolved their style as the years went on. I wasn’t there during the beginning, and I really wish I was, but the time I’ve spent following this fun little comic has made me feel so much appreciation not just for Super Emeralds as a person, but for the entire Sonic art community as a whole! Art is a creative endeavor, a passionate career, and sometimes it’s really hard to just. Draw. Comics are especially hard as I’ve discovered. So just… Good job to Super Emeralds for sticking around all these years and for giving us such an incredibly thought out and beloved series. And thank you.

…

ALRIGHT ENOUGH OF THAT MUSHY GUSHY STUFF AND LET’S TALK ABOUT THE BLUE BOY HIMSELF THAT IS NOW NO LONGER JUST BLUE MUAHAHAHAHASHEHEHEKEFHEOFHFFPWEHFLFHD

I’ve been a bit absent from Tumblr for the last few weeks due to sickness and lack of interest so I am undoubtedly missing a page or two from the equation but OH MY GOSH. POOR SONIC. Bro wakes up from like a 2-day long nap and the first thing he sees is his little brother screaming in his face at 3AM. He’s so confused haha! I noticed he isn’t as insecure or he isn’t really freaking out as much as I assumed he would way back during the exposition pages. This is obviously due to the confusion and whiplash after waking up as his “Normal” self again, but I feel like it’s just him putting on another fascade around his friends. To an extent, at least. He isn’t aware of the new pink markings all over his body and he isn’t aware of just how worried all his friends were. All he knows is that they know about his new form and they for some reason aren’t acting weird about it, so he’s likely just playing along to make sure nobody gets overly concerned. It just seems like something he’d do. Or maybe I’m just grasping at the angst straws, idk.

OMEGA IS FIXED BY THE WAY I DO NOT WISH TO GLOSS OVER THAT FACT. THE BOY IS BACK!! THE ROBO BOYO IS BACK!!! I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE ALL THE CRIMES HE’LL BE ABLE TO COMMIT ONCE TAILS GETS THOSE ROCKET LAUNCHERS WORKING AGAIN HEHEHEEE

Also let’s not gloss over how Omega doesn’t care that Sonic mauled him to death. Let’s not gloss over the fact that Omega clearly cares for the others because of his ignorance to Sonic’s rampage.

Yeah if you couldn’t already tell I’m a sucker for this kinda stuff-

Uhhhhh I don’t really have much else to say, honestly. Maybe I will later, but right now I’m on a time crunch so I gotta keep this all pretty concise. Thank you so so much for reading all the way through, I know this was a really really long one. And again, thanks to Super Emeralds for being able to last this long and not losing motivation for the comic. I know I would’ve given up after just 5 pages! (I actually tried to make a comic of sorts and I literally gave up after 5 pages I am not kidding.)

Aight I gotta go now bye bye!! 👋

ur gonna have a field day in 2-3 weeks depending on when u decide to go on rampage haha

#fan lore #clover-the-awesomest #long post #BTW I APPRECIATE THESE MESSAGES I JUST NEVER KNOW WHAT TO SAY IN FEAR I SPOIL ANYTHING AJHSFAHJS