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elliottwayne · 5 years

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Elliott Wayne (Me): My Backstory

Backstory:

1999: I was born to Bruce Wayne and Lilli Rose in the early morning of March 16th. While my parents had been in a relationship and my father knew my mother was pregnant, my mother broke up with him just before having me but ended up abandoning me in the hospital. My dad came and got me and immediately filed for full custody while the police searched for my mother. They never found her. As soon as dad was granted full custody of me he took off to tour the world, learning as many martial arts as possible. 2001: We returned to Gotham when I was two years old and dad became Batman.

2002: About a year later 12-year-old Richard Grayson came into my life, becoming my first big brother (though our relationship doesn't remain a sibling relationship in my older years) and the first Robin. Now, a small thing about me is that as a child I was a selective mute. For those who don't know selective mutism is a childhood anxiety disorder that is often accompanied by shyness or social anxiety. The reason I am giving this information is because Dick Grayson is the one who eventually helped me learn coping skills - or at least he tried to teach them as best he could to a three year old.

2004: The age of 5 is when I accidentally found out the Dick was Robin and dad was Batman. I had been looking for Dick to ask him to take me to get a late night glass of water and poor five-year-old me walked into Dick's room to see him in full Robin outfit. The next day I had followed Dick into the Batcave, fully learning the double life of my "big brother" and father.

2006: Back to my muteness, I eventually grew out of it but was diagnosed with ADHD when I was seven. When I was eight Dick and dad got into a pretty huge argument which led to Dick leaving Wayne Manor and eventually dropping the Robin Mantle and becoming Nightwing. That is also when Jason Todd came into my life, becoming my second big brother (and remaining my big brother). Jason and I quickly grew close, so close I even ended up taking on some of his personality traits, much to the teasing horror but real concern of my dad and Dick.

2007: Even though it was barely a year that Jason had been in my life when he died, eight year old me still felt his loss even if I didn't understand it yet. My dad, after that, spent a few years without a Robin but during those years I made a few changes to my life.

2009: When I was 10 I was finally told my mother's identity and why I didn't know her - how she abandoned me in the hospital.

2010: It was a full year later that I started "training" behind my father's back. If you're wondering if I was training to become a Robin, the answer is no, I just wanted to do what my big brothers and dad were doing.

2011: When I was 12 I started looking for my mother, to get answers and an explanation but my search ended up getting me kidnapped by the Joker, to this day I am still unsure of my mother's connection to the Joker. While I was being held hostage I learned of how Jason died, Joker had told me every detail of how he killed Robin and saying how Batman wasn't fast enough to save him. I was rescued by Batman but I admittedly started pushing my father away, even blaming him for my "big brother's" death.

2012: Now, I stated earlier that Dick and dad got into a huge argument that lead to Dick leaving but at the time 8 year old me didn't know that so skip to 13 year old me who -while secretly going through my father's things- found an email for Dick and I sent him an email asking what exactly happened between him and dad. All I got back were vague answers so I tracked him down and went to him, demanding answers and threatening to not go back home if I didn't get them. In hindsight that threat had no chance of working since Dick could have just called Alfred to come get me but, I got my answers anyway. The answers I got though, I just ended up pushing my dad away more. Little did I know, my dad had noticed. After being the biggest pain in the ass for Dick, I returned home and used my half-ass training to become Batkid.

I went out almost right away and got myself on Batman's and Nightwing's watch lists. At the same time that's also when Red Hood, Jason, decided to show up in Gotham. Red Hood also decided to test his speed and skills by chasing the Bat Family around Gotham City, that unfortunately included poor 13 year-old-me who was slowly starting to realize she was in over her head.

2013: A year later, still as Batkid, somehow not deterred by the red hooded lunatic, I made my first enemy, a girl about my age who called herself Psychic Flame, and trust me, the name suited her. This was also the year I started High School and the year Dick promised to keep in better contact with me, even arranging dates for us to get together and catch up. Also, Batman started to actually fully look into who Batkid was, my doom was upon me or at least it would be very soon.

2014: The next year I started 10th grade and was diagnosed with depression and generalized anxiety disorder but on a positive note, I made a new friend, Kasey Scott, a boy who was a year older than me. While I made one new friend I made four new enemies who are known as, Siren, Alexei Novikov, Biofever, and Cryowave - all of them scary as hell. I also started to understand a few things a little more and questioned others, one of the things I questioned were my growing feelings for Dick Grayson, the boy, or rather man at that point, who had taken a "big brother" role for me but now somehow felt like more. In an attempt to push away these feelings I started dating Kasey - stupid move, I know. Just as I did that, my dad found out I was Batkid and the lecture I got from dad...was (and still is) nothing compared to the other lectures I got from Alfred, Dick, and later on Jason. When dad was done lecturing me he sent me to Dick for him to start my training.

Before Dick started training me though he lectured me and then legit put me in a 'time out' corner in the Titan's tower. While with Dick and the titans though I got more than just hand-to-hand combat and weapons training. There was something I failed to mention when I began the telling of my life story, I was born a metahuman. My powers, in short, are supernatural empathy, light manipulation and generation, and entity bonding. While two of my powers I could only get guidance on, Starfire helped me learn how to use and control my light based power. I spent six months training with Dick and Starfire before I returned home for more training with my father.

2015: This next year is when Batman finally gets another Robin. 13 year old Tim Drake came into our lives trying to reunite Nightwing and Batman but Nightwing refused to take up the mantle of Robin again. I personally didn't blame him after seeing the life he had created for himself with the Titans. Seeing that reuniting Dick and my dad wasn't going to work Tim decided he'd become Robin. My dad was against this, whole-heartedly, until Tim helped him apprehend Two-Face. Not only did dad train Tim but I had assisted in his training as well. It wasn't long after that Joker reared his ugly clown head and kidnapped Tim's parents. While Batman, Robin, and I manage to track them down, unfortunately, none of us where fast enough to save them. Seeing Joker again though, the only thing that was running through my head was what he did to Jason, and I beat him the way he did Jason 8 years prior. After that catastrophe, dad adopted Tim and I had my first little brother. Dick also moved back to Gotham but stayed in his own place, and I remember he maybe came to the manor twice, to drop of Tim and I after we had gotten caught in a storm coming home from school. Also Red Hood left Gotham for a year - much to the gratefulness of my sanity.

2016: The next year, I gained a second little brother, this one biologically my little brother, well half little brother. Damian Wayne, future dubbed “Demon Spawn”. Ten year old Damian Wayne was dropped off at the door of Wayne Manor by his mother who asked dad to train him to curb his homicidal tendencies. When I met him and started talking to him, I immediately called him a "Little Precious Edge Lord" and let me tell you, it was worth it despite the glare I got. (I still occasionally call him that but now I mostly call him "Daybreak" because he’s always waking up in the super early AM). While Damian was getting accustomed to a new lifestyle and new rules he was also being trained by dad alongside me but, certain times I would train him alongside Tim.

This was also the year I put on a new suit and new mask and took on a new name, one I had earned from my technique of dealing with criminals; Silent Sleeper. This nickname comes from the fact I use a self-made crossbow with self-made, color-coded darts, the main dart being a sedative dart which inspired the "Sleeper" part of my new code name. The "Silent" part being inspired by the fact nobody knew I was there until one or more of their goons were on the floor/ground unconscious with a dart in their neck.

Also in this year, Red Hood had returned to Gotham, ready to "settle the score" or "the grudge" he had against Batman. Upon learning Red Hood had returned I went to my father, dreading the mental torment of Red Hood chasing me around Gotham City yet again. My father's response was not what I was expecting. He told me Red Hood was Jason, who had been revived. Two thoughts were going through my head at that time; 1) I have my favorite big brother back, 2) I'm going to fucking murder the son of a bitch myself. A few nights passed and I cornered Red Hood in a non-residential part of Gotham and began screaming at him. (I am told that was one of the most confusing and scary things Jason has ever experienced before I took off my mask). So, a very confused Red Hood demanded to know who the hell I was and how I knew his full name so in frustration I ripped off my mask. The second Jason processed what his eyes were showing him, that his "baby sister" was the Silent Sleeper, and that Nightwing had piped up telling him I had also been Batkid, that was when the screaming match truly started. It ended with Jason having a bloody nose and black eye and me having a major migraine.

On top of that drama I had decided to break up with Kasey, finally admitting to myself that I just didn't have true feelings for him. The break up ended up being mutual since he also didn't have true feelings for me, we agreed to just remain friends.

Oh, the best part of the year!? That was when Talia Al-Ghul decided to kidnap my father and I because she decided she wanted her son back, yeah that was fun. Dad and I were rescued after his mind got messed with and dear Talia tried to murder me. Damian then declared that he wanted nothing to do with his mother, and I just respected my little brother a great deal more after that. Dad then sent Damian to train and learn from monks, hoping it would help Damian with his anger and his violent tendencies.

To not be sarcastic, the truly best part of the year was when I decided to tell Dick how I really felt about him and learning he returned my feelings and we actually started our relationship. Dick also went back to the GCPD and Jason learned of what I did to the Joker...after he did it himself. Jay also began to try to repair his relationship with Dick, dad, Tim, and I, while trying to create one with Damian.... (The headaches...oh god the headaches).

2017: Jason was still working on repairing his relationships not just with us but with other people as well and I can tell you that he succeeded. Damian returned home, still Damian, sarcastic little edge lord, but a lot better at controlling his anger. Upon Damian's return Tim took the mantle of Red Robin while Damian became Robin and Dick gave Jason an old Nightwing suit. Jason took that Nightwing suit and wore it as a symbol that his relationship with the Bat Fam was being repaired and getting better. Dick had started to occasionally stay at Wayne Manor, even having his own study there and our relationship only grew stronger but obviously with its bumps and curves. One of my enemies, Alexei Novikov, returned to Gotham with a new drug that Nightwing ended up being hit with while on a patrol. Alexei kidnapped him and tried to hold him for ransom but just as he was making the ransom demand Red Hood, Red Robin, Robin, and myself all busted into his hideout and rescued Nightwing. Alexei had armed a self-destruct system, we got out but Alexei didn't....at least I hope, we never found a body or any barbequed remains and people in Gotham don't like to stay dead as if #Revived is the number one trend in the world.

Also this year was the year I turned 18 - long story short I stole the Batmobile and almost got grounded for three months until dad realized how old I was...but I did get my Sleeperbike taken away. The Justice league also approached me for the first time and Dick for the second time, we both declined. I preferred (and still do) being a "solo" act and Dick wanted to stick to looking after the Young Justice team while also technically being a solo act.

2018: Jason had moved back into the manor since his relationships were mostly repaired to be in good graces with all of us and once again considered part of the Bat Family. The major conflict of this year, for me personally, was when Siren kidnapped Red Hood purely just to get in my head and piss of The Silent Sleeper, who was now more commonly known as "SS". I rescued Red Hood but Siren managed to slip away to god only knows where. Then, after a mission had seemed to go sideways Red Robin went MIA, or so I had thought. In reality the mission was intended to look like a failure so Red Robin could go dark. When Red Robin returned home I called a family meeting and made all "my boys" (including my dad) promise me that if a mission or assignment is meant to look a certain way, to tell me before we go on the mission or assignment.

Well, that's been my life up until now! I will be giving updates, I mean, if you all are curious that is! Lots of love, stay safe, your friendly neighborhood, Silent Sleeper.

P.S: I don't care if I stole that from Spider-Man, dude is cool!

Admin: Backstory is still a minor WIP as I am still working on putting in Barbara, Cassandra, and Stephanie.

#original character #elliott wayne #silent sleeper #batfam #bruce wayne #wayne family #dick grayson #dc comics #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #red hood #nightwing #batman #robin #red robin

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galoismyhimbo · 5 years

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1-97 for Emily! Do them all.

akdjsasdas I wont back down from this, anon.

SO BUCKLE UP KIDDOS THIS GONNA BE A LONG ASS REPLY

1. What is their favourite food?

Probably, pancakes. Just plain ol’ pancakes with syrup, its simple and thats why she loves it.

2. Do they have a fear of an animal? If so, what animal?

Emily has a HUGE phobia of spiders. She see’s one across the room, she’s already setting the place on fire to kill it.

3. What do they wear to bed?

In the summer, just some shorts and a baggy shirt. In the winter, a star wars onsie.

4. Do they like cuddling?

yES! She is a slut for cuddling

5. Do they have a secret handshake with anyone?

Nope. At least not yet.

6. What do they look like?

Long, dark brown hair. Light brown eyes, pale skin, scarred face and body. Buff af, shoulders are bit wider than her hips. Wish i had a full body reference lmao.

7. Do they like chocolate?

Yep!

8. What are their good and bad traits?

Good: Loyal, lowkey softy, brave, perseverance, and has a strong will to protect the innocent.

Bad: impulsive, big ego, holds in her anger till she explodes, and reckless

9. Do they have any artistic talent?

Yeah, shes drawn in her free time and has gotten pretty good.

10. What is their favourite room to be in, in the house they live in?

Her bedroom. Just laying in bed, watching tv or something. She likes the quiet and seclusion.

11. Do they believe in luck?

12. Can they do magic?

Nope

13. Do they believe in dragons?

No, but there’s always the child in her that does.

14. What is a pet peeve of theirs?

When people chew loudly or talk with their mouth full.

15. What was the last thing they cried about?

umm… depends on where she is in her life. If I stick to the events of FC5, then after she woke up in the bunker with Joseph.

16. What is their sexuality?

Birom Ace

17. Do they have a best friend? If so, who, and what makes them their best friend?

Sharky is her best friend. She loved his dumbassery, cause shes a dumbass too at heart. So they would just run around causing havoc for the cult.

Her other best friend is @deputydonewithyall‘s Hope. They are really gay for each other and are REALLY close. Emily really is dating her best friend. :^)

18. Have they ever been in a romantic relationship?

Yep, with Hope Pillar. And they still are. Cause you know what brings people together? Shared trauma.

19. What does their relationship with their family look like? Are they close? Distant? Ect.

She used to be close to her family and relatives. But over time she drifted away, especially after her father died. When he did, she left to Montana after her brother was able to live on his own. She’s only seen them on some holidays.

20. Do they have a pet?

Fangs for hire basically.

21. Do they have a familiar?

No. But if she picked one it would be a leopard lmao

22. Are they a supernatural being?

Nope.

23. How do they usually wear their hair?

Usually down, but she also wears it in a ponytail. She looks great in one.

24. Can they play an instrument? If so, what instrument and what can they play?

Nope.

25. What type a high schooler are/were they?

Average. She did well in school, but she wasn’t in any clubs. She just wanted out.

26. Have they ever been in a physical fight before? If so, with who? Who won?

Yep. With many during the fight with the cult lmao.

27. What is their favourite holiday?

Christmas, she LOVES it

28. If they could have one wish, what would they wish for?

For everything to be normal again, no more cult, no more pain. Just her old life back. :^)

29. Do they wants kids? If they already have kids, do they want more?

She’s not opposed to having kids. And she gets one eventually. But she doesn’t want it :^) my bunker story explains that LMAO

30. Do they have a job?

Deputy

31. Do they know how to drive?

Ye, she’s a great driver

32. Do they get stressed out easily?

Nope, not really

33. Did they ever dye their hair before? If so, to what colour? Did they like it?

Nope.

34.Have they ever broken the law?

Before the cult? No. Well she’s gone over the speed limit but thats it lmao

35. Do they own a plant?

Who got time for that

36. Have they ever rode a horse before?

No but she wants to so badly.

37. What is their favorite gif?

38. Do they get along with others easily?

Not really, but she tries her hardest

39. Do they have any tattoos?

Nah, but she’s not opposed to it

40. If I wanted to draw them, what would be distinct physical features that I would have to know to draw them correctly?

She has a pretty strong jawline, her gaze is sharp. She just has strong facial features in general i think; plus the scar on her left eyebrow and the one going across the right side of her face makes her badass.

41. What is their favourite breed of dog?

Bernese Mountain dog

42. Do they live with anyone? If so, who?

Not currently, but in the future she lives with Hope

43. Where is their dream vacation?

Going to anywhere in Europe in the winter honestly

44. Do they know more than one language?

Nope.

45. Are they a quick learner?

Yeah, she can adapt quickly.

46. Have they ever won a contest before? If so, what for? What did they win?

Emily won a drawing contest in like 3rd grade. She got a badge and everything, she was so proud of herself.

47. If the world were to end in 24 hours, where would they be and who would they be with?

They would go up onto a mountain with Hope, Sharky, and Boomer. And they’d just hang out till the last moment. Those three are the most important to her, and she would spend her last moments with them over anything else.

48. What does their room look like?

Her floor is clean, but any desk in her room is covered in things. She lowkey a mess

49. If they could have an extinct animal for a pet, what would they have?

A Tasmanian Tiger

50. If they got called out by someone, what would they do?

Throw hands. Only if it was really bad lmao

51. Have they ever shot a gun before?

Ye, many times before

52. Have they ever been axe throwing?

No. But take her on a date to one and she’ll be all yours

53. What is something that they want but can’t have?

Her sanity back :^) shit goes down in my story

54. Do they know how to fish?

Yeah, she’s actually pretty good. And she finds it relaxing

55. What is something they always wanted to do but too scared?

Go on roller coasters. She fears them but man, they look like fun to her and she feels like she’s missing out.

56. Do they own their own baby pictures?

Actually yeah, she keeps photos back at her apartment. She also has a photo of her, her siblings, and her dad years before he died in her pocket.

57. What makes them standout among others?

In all honesty, her brute force. She is a buff gal, and could handle herself in a fight, even playing dirty. If given the chance, she could fight Jacob. It would be a tough one but she’d have a chance.

58. Do they like to show off?

YEP. She has an ego.

59. What is their favourite song?

If I go, I’m going - Gregory Alan Isakov

60. What would be their dream vehicle?

A motorcycle

61. What is their favourite book?

She doesn’t have one.

62. Who, in their opinion, makes the best food?

Pratt. Only because one year he made something for a Christmas party for their department and it was hella good. Though someone else probably could’ve made it.

63. Are they approachable?

Not really? She a tall, very buff looking woman with a scarred resting bitch face. But if you do approach her she’ll open up.

64. Did they ever change their appearance?

Nah.

65. What makes them smile?

Memes. lmao jk, just little moments of peace with friends and loved ones.

66. Do they like glowsticks?

Hells yeah

67. What is something that is simple, but always makes them smile?

Someone giving her a little gift and saying it reminded them of her. OR someone leaving little love notes around for her.

68. Are they a day or night person?

Night.

69. Are they allergic to anything?

Nope.

70. What do you, the creator of this OC, like most about them?

Her bravery. Which is also connected to her recklessness; she will risk her life to save an innocent or someone she cares about.

71. Who is their ride or die?

Sharky and Hope. These three are an iconic trio

72. Do they currently have a significant other? If not, are they going to get one later one?

YEP. Hope.

73. What attracts them to another person?

Honesty, loyalty, and gentleness

74. Who is one person that can always make them laugh?

Sharky or Hope.

75. Have they ever partied too hard and their friends had to take them home?

Emily doesn’t like alcohol so no, she hasn’t.

76. Who would be their cuddle buddy?

H O P E. And Boomer lmao

77. Who would cheer them up after a long day?

Sharky, Boomer, and Hope. And actually Joey before the cult stuff.

78. If they had a nightmare, who would they run to?

Hope. But that can change sometimes.

79. What object to the care for the most?

Her necklace.

80. Do they like other people’s children?

Depends. With baby Rye, she adores her. But other kids she may not be the biggest fan of.

81. How would they react if someone broke into their home?

”…You got to be kidding me.”

82. Does anyone make them have butterflies in their stomach?

HOPE MAKES EMILY A HUGE SOFTY, YALL DONT UNDERSTAND. Sorry i got excited

83. What is something that they are good at?

Archery.

84. What is their neutral expression?

Resting Bitch Face.

85. Do they like to cook?

No, she wishes things just appeared in front of her to eat

86. What is something they can’t leave home without?

The necklace her father got her years ago

87. Who is someone that they rely on?

👀👀 Hope.

88. Do they liked to be tickled?

No, and she’ll punch you if you try

89. Have they ever been a sword fight before?

No. But she’d be down to at any moment

90. What is a joke that they would find funny?

Basically memes and stuff lmao

91. Do they have a place that can go and turn off their brain?

In Hope county, Emily liked to go to the church in Fall’s End to just relax. She was close to Jerome as well so they would just talk when things were calm.

92. What was their childhood like?

It was actually pretty normal for the most part. After her mother died on duty, her father raised her and her two siblings for a long time before he eventually died. She knew her relatives and stuff, had big family dinners, get togethers. She remembers her mom getting up really early every Christmas to make a large breakfast for the family and relatives. She loved waking to the smell of bacon.

93. What are they like as an adult?

She has her life together, but she’s also a wreck. Like, eating ramen for 4 days straight cause she doesn’t want to go grocery shopping.

94. Do they take criticism well?

Yeah, she knows its to improve on something. But she’s annoyed on the inside.

95. Have they ever jumped out of a plane?

Only ones that have been crashing LOL

96. Who do they like to make jokes with?

Anyone of her friends. She loved pulling pranks on the other deputies before the cult issue.

97. Have you ever drawn them before? If you are comfortable with it, would you post a picture?

Hell yeah. Though none are actually finished so here’s a WIP

#ask meme #my oc #emily burns #sadjakdhakjs this took forever but omfg ty for asking

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maculategiraffe · 7 years

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When you get this, post ten facts about yourself and pass this ask along to ten of your favorite followers. If you feel like it! This is a friendly, low pressure meme. :D

1. I have grapheme-color synesthesia, meaning I perceive (Roman) letters and (Arabic) numbers in color. A is yellow, B is orange, C is pink, D is red, etc. I didn't realize this wasn't a universally shared experience until sixth grade, when in language arts class we were discussing a story we'd read and I got two characters confused, "Mary Louise" and "Cynthia Parker," and by way of explaining my confusion offhandedly said, "sorry, they're both pink and blue" and everyone was like "...what." I had a whole lot of trouble studying Greek because the alphabet wasn't in colors that made sense to me.

2. I find horses unnerving on, like, an existential level. They give me the whole-body shudders, like one of those Lovecraftian things that Simply Ought Not to Be, that offend mine eyes and sanity by their proportions. The first time I watched the movie Willow and there was this scene where "unicorns" (white horses) galloped in slow-mo towards the camera, I let out this involuntary scream and hid my face and my viewing companion was like "wtf is wrong with you." This is one of the 16 reasons I cannot tolerate the Western genre under any circumstances.

3. I sometimes play tabletop role play games, mostly World of Darkness, with my boyfriend and a small group of friends. The two characters I've grown most attached to are a) a vampire named Alethea who was a bonny lass named Polly Cooper working in an Edwardian-era flower shop when she was Embraced (vampired) by a beautiful seductress calling herself Josephine who was later murdered by a serial killer raised by werewolves, and b) a daughter of the god Hephaestus named Chloe Smith (geddit?) who built an engine so efficient it accidentally tore a hole in the fabric of space-time so she had to team up with a few other gods' children and a human mage-hunter named Anthony who's one of two people she's ever actually (platonically) loved to defeat the eldritch abominations that came through the gap. Alethea is currently trying to wrangle a wealthy and psychotic vampire hunter she Embraced as part of a Machiavellian scheme involving the vampire city council, who adores her so much he's constantly having people he perceives as obstacles to her murdered behind her back, and she's like "Kaspar for fuck's sake, I'm not ambitious, I've lived this long by keeping my head down" and he's like "but now that you have ME you can assume your rightful place as Queen of All Vampires" and she's like "I don't WANT to" and he's like "because you're so endearingly humble and self-effacing but we can fix all that." Chloe failed to save Anthony's life from a cabal of mages so she called in nineteen favors from every supernatural being she knew and went to Hell Itself (kind of? long story?) to get him back, and succeeded, and now her one goal in life is to kill the insanely overpowered mage who killed Anthony in the first place. She's trying to get the other person she loves (her Russian half-brother Kostya, the son of Svarog) to help, but he's like "Сестренка, не будь дураком, this mage is the fucking worst, let well enough alone" and she's like "HE MURDERED MY WITCHER DAMMIT." (Anthony has amnesia about the whole thing and Chloe's fiercely determined to make sure it stays that way so she's barely seen him since the Thing but she watches over him from nearby and it SEEMS like no one's going after him again? but we'll see)

4. I was raised in an incredibly toxic fundamentalist evangelical Christian church, which imploded just before I went off to college because the (married, with five kids) pastor was discovered to have been having a passionate affair with the wife of one of the elders (who also had five kids, everybody was very quiverfull), and have gone through a lot of Spiritual Seeking since, but I adore my current Episcopal church, which takes it as a given that our primary duty as Christians is to love and look after anyone who needs it, in the ways they need it most, as best we can. As such, we educate ourselves and others, which I also love since the Christian culture of my youth was like "don't think about it don't think about it you'll go to hell if you think about it." Also women and "Practicing Homosexuals" (the parlance of my youth) are allowed to be priests and bishops (we have two female priests and three male ones at my church) and the current bishop of the entire American Episcopal church (the first black man to hold that role) is the former bishop of my own diocese, so hometown diocese represent 😀

5. I love swimming in the ocean. I'll stay in the ocean all day until somebody drags me out. I think I have some kind of sense-memory of the womb that activates in the ocean when I'm weightless and being gently rocked. If I'm ever eaten by a shark just know I died as I was born: being agonizingly and unexpectedly ripped from a state of mindless bliss.

6. When I was a kid I had a hamster named Butterscotch, who lived in a tank from which she was constantly escaping. She would take her little hamster wheel, pack the bottom of it with cedar shavings, pee on them to affix them in place, climb the now-stationary wheel, muscle-lift the top of the tank, and squeeze herself out to freedom. She'd do it right in front of me, like, "So? Watch this." She also climbed the stairs in my parents' house by reaching up, gripping the edge of one with both paws, muscling herself up over the edge, and repeating until she reached the top. She was the original American Ninja Warrior and I loved her so much and I cried so hard when she died.

7. I had terrible, debilitating nightmares as a child, which led my mother to purchase a book called Helping Your Child Overcome Nightmares, which was about guided meditation and taking control of your dreams, and I immediately took and read the book myself because it sounded interesting, and I vividly remember the first time I successfully took control of a dream. There was a striped rug in my room and I dreamed that a tiger materialized on it and growled at me, and I said aloud, in my dream, "Pretend the only thing he's afraid of is not being able to see" and threw my blanket over his head and he yelped and kicked and vanished. I used these techniques to great effect after my husband died, when I was horribly, horribly afraid that I'd dream he was alive again and it had all been a mistake, and then wake up and absolutely be unable to stand it, so I'd dream of him and say "I'm really happy to see you, but you're dead, you're not really here" and it seemed like it sort of hurt his feelings but I knew if it was really him he'd understand I had to protect myself.

8. Speaking of my dead husband: we agreed before he died that if there was an afterlife he wouldn't hang around and haunt me, he'd move on to whatever new adventures might await and I'd catch up later if necessary. I explained this to a grief counselor who asked if I'd had any Experiences of the dead one since he died (since apparently that's quite common) and I was like "oh no, we agreed he wouldn't hang around" and she was like "oh well that's... good, then?" and I was like "damn skippy, hopefully he's got better things to do"

9. Speaking of weird dreams: while we were on the transplant waiting list and living in hellish limbo, I did a lot of exploratory dream work, and one thing I did was establish a kind of little shop in the dream world that sold tea and tarot cards and geodes and this lady worked there who would help me with what I needed and supply me for my various exploratory missions in dream space. It was like... near the "entrance" to the dream world, so when I'd lie down with guided meditation I'd go to sleep and come up "near" it. Now hear me out because I swear this is true: years later, YEARS later, I went to New Orleans for the first time-- I'd never been near the place before-- and THAT SHOP WAS THERE. It was the same EXACT shop. Sold tea and tarot cards and geodes and there was a back room curtained off, which was where the lady from my dream always was when I came in, and I was too fucking terrified to ask what was back there and I hightailed it out of there and it's still the most overtly Weird thing that's ever happened to me in real life.

10. The first video game I ever played was Dragon Quest VIII on the PS2, and there was a subplot about a king whose wife had died and he'd been grieving and weeping for two years and the whole kingdom was sad and depressed because the king couldn't deal with his grief and we the adventurers had to go on a quest to find the Moon Shadow Harp and bring back a memory of his wife telling him he was stronger than he knew and him saying "I'd be lost without you" and her saying "no you wouldn't, you're strong and also no matter what I'll always be with you because you love me so much you couldn't ever lose those parts of yourself, the ones that love me, and so I'll always be with you" and I bawled like a friggin' baby, and then I tried another video game (Final Fantasy X) and was like "ugh, so it was just that one video game that was good, never mind" and that was the last time I played a video game until Fallout 4.

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ladyanatui · 4 years

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The Seduction of Motomiya Daisuke, Ch. 8 *A Daiken Fic*

Daisuke’s friendship with Ken has always come easily. It’s the lusting after your best friend part that’s hard.

He just didn’t realize how hard until Ken starts acting weird.

Now, Daisuke isn’t sure how long he can handle his BFF and roommate’s sudden attentions. At least, not without potentially ruining a 12-year friendship.

AO3 | FF.Net

Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17

DAISUKE

Saturday, 1 p.m.

By the time we reach the park, Ken doesn't look any more pleased with the idea than the moment when, after we put away the groceries, I chucked the soccer ball at his head and he barely managed to catch it before it smacked him in the face. He argued, he complained, he cajoled, and yes, he had a point—it did rain most of the train ride home, though the rain stopped before we had to walk through it—but I didn't relent.

"When has a little rain ever been a problem?" I asked him. "Are you afraid of getting a tiny bit muddy? Are you that much of a clean freak, Ichijouji?"

I wasn't surprised when he bristled. "Not afraid." But then he paused and admitted quietly, "I'm out of practice, though."

Which is all too true, and perhaps a large reason I want to play a little one-vee-one.

We played against each other from that first all-important match in fifth grade till high school graduation, and winning against Tamachi was rare. In a one-vee-one against Ichijouji Ken, Tamachi's number one striker? Nearly impossible.

But he hasn't played since high school, aside from an occasional casual match—not even once a month.

I at least play a weekly game with a few guys, though it's laid-back and most of them aren't enough competition. I at least have some practice still.

Hell, if there's even a tiny chance I can kick his ass, I'm gonna take it.

So no, I didn't relent, no matter how much he complained.

And I won't relent now that we're here either.

"It's called muscle memory, Ichijouji," I say as I pause at the edge of the pitch beside him.

His mouth tightens into a scowl, but he doesn't look at me. "Just because you play a casual game every week doesn't mean you'll manage to beat me."

I cock an eyebrow. "Care to put that to the test then?"

Ken smirks, finally meeting my eyes. "And what do I get when I win, Motomiya?"

Excellent.

"Depends." I toss the ball up in the air and catch it with one hand. "What do you want?"

His blue-violet eyes study me carefully while determining his response, and he settles on a cool but dangerous sort of confidence. "You'll find out when I win."

I scoff, but I'm practically buzzing with energy. "Well, I already know exactly what I want when I win, and I'm not telling you till I do."

This kind of tension is exactly what I live for. I thrive on it.

Most of the time, Ken retreats into himself, hiding away from the world, especially around people he doesn't know well. He's decent with the other Chosen now—talks to them more openly, smiles and laughs more often—but no one else draws out this Ken like I do.

This Ken is confident, competitive, even eager. He's cool and collected and smug, he's occasionally cruel but in a good-natured way, and he likes to win. Honestly, this Ken sometimes frightens me. He gets my blood boiling, my heart thumping at full force, sends some positively perverse thoughts through my head. He's the Ken most reflective of his Kaiser persona, but it's not the same, he's not the same. Because unlike the Kaiser, he has a warm, hearty laugh, he cracks jokes, he teases, and through it all, he remains the kind, pensive, intelligent, sweet Ken he always is.

"I guess we have no choice then," he says, flippant, and begins a determined march toward the center of the field.

My eyes gravitate toward his perfect ass as he stalks across the soggy grass. He's wearing his high school soccer uniform—it is the most appropriate attire for the occasion, and it's tight enough not to get in the way. It's honestly impressive the thing still fits him after five years. But it's not like he's gained weight—only grown a few more centimeters.

Okay.

Subconsciously, I may have suggested this because I wanted to see Ken in uniform again.

Fucking worth it.

And here's hoping I don't get too distracted by the spectacular view. Because I want to win.

I have plans for if I win, dammit.

He walks with the confidence that I'll follow, and he's right about that. But I would follow Ken anywhere.

Before I'm even halfway across the pitch, he's at the center, and he begins his typical warm-up routine: hip flexors, calf stretch, quad stretch, heel stretch, and a few modified versions of his normal stretches to avoid sitting on the muddy ground.

I stumble to a stop the moment he slowly bends over, one ankle crossed over the other, arms down, hands flattening on the wet grass in front of his feet. Because the view of his pert ass couldn't possibly be better. And dear god, that flexibility could be put to some good use under more intimate circumstances.

Yeah, I'm fucked.

I force my feet to move again, slowly approaching, and drop the ball on the ground when I reach him.

Ken throws a terse glance my way as he hooks an arm behind his head in a simple shoulder stretch. "You ready to get your ass handed to you, Motomiya?"

I spend half a second more staring at him.

But it's time to get my head in gear or I'm going to lose. And losing isn't an option today. I want to implement my plan tonight, and winning this match may be exactly what I need to get the ball rolling.

"Don't get too cocky, Ichijouji," I snap and begin to do a few stretches of my own. "I won't let you win so easily."

Of course, that also requires me to pretend I'm not deathly curious what would happen if he won, what he wants from me.

He smiles. "You never make anything easy."

I frown, not quite sure what he means, but he starts doing a round of jumping jacks before I can even consider whether I should ask. And then I'm staring again.

No.

I won't let him distract or confuse me, dammit.

Once we're both properly warmed up, we decide victory goes to the first to score five goals, and per usual, Ken devotes himself wholly to the task at hand.

He snags the ball immediately, and I rush to keep up with him. His long legs and low mass make him fast, but he's not the same kid running circles around my entire team anymore.

In high school, we were much more evenly matched—partially because no one knew better than me how to anticipate Ken's thoughts and moves. If we'd played on a team together, we would've been in complete sync, able to predict each other and play off of the other's strengths. But as opponents…well, I'm pretty sure our coaches thought we spent too much time trying to outdo each other than actually win the game.

He scores the first goal, but I get the ball next, dribbling it toward the opposite goal. This time, he chases me. By the time he scores a second shot, I've managed three goals.

A proud grin spreads across my mouth when we meet at the center again, but Ken's eyes narrow in a way that's strikingly familiar.

In a way that makes me fear for my life.

And my sanity.

Grass stains and little flecks of mud spread up his body, primarily on his shoes and shins, but there's even the occasional streak on his arm.

I gulp.

Mud has never looked so damn attractive.

He snatches the ball immediately and, to no one's surprise, levels the playing field with another score before I can do anything but follow in his wake.

Dammit.

Five years since he's played a competitive soccer game, and he's still this fucking good. Muscle memory is part of it—he did play for over a decade—but honestly, I attribute it to what I call Ken Magic. Even without the Dark Seed, Ken remains the most intelligent and talented person I know.

Koushiro-san, ever the logical one, insists that's technically incorrect. That while, yes, Ken is very intelligent and skilled, his IQ isn't what it was as the Kaiser. That I'm biased because Ken is so important to me.

True or not—and I guess Koushiro-san is generally trustworthy on these matters—I don't care.

Ken is smart, kind, patient, ambitious, talented at everything, and absolutely beautiful. Of course I'm biased. How could I not be biased? He's practically perfect, no matter how dark his past is or how much it still bothers him, and I have no problems explaining that to anyone.

But I have serious problems with him winning this match.

"I thought you were going to make this a challenge, Motomiya," he says when we meet at centerfield again.

I shrug. "Alright, I gave you that last one. You looked pretty upset." And you know, I was too busy ogling him to focus. "Besides, I like the challenge of whooping your ass when the score is this close."

He glares, but it gets my point across. "Don't you dare let me win out of pity, Motomiya." His voice is dangerously low.

"I wouldn't dare. I want this too much."

Plus, I'm fairly certain he would murder me if he ever legitimately believed I took it easy on him.

We each only have two points left to win, but I'm not so sure of my victory now. Still, this is a better shot at beating Ken in a one-vee-one than I've ever had before, and I managed to beat him a few times during his prime.

Besides, what better way to interrogate him about the last thirty-six hours than to do it under the pretense of a bet? If I win this, I intend to launch a full investigation into his recent behavior, into his...potential feelings.

Not that he needs to know that.

He takes the ball, but I dart around him and kick it in the opposite direction, right between his legs. He stumbles and we collide not even a second later, all hands and legs and feet and mud and sweat.

Ken lands on top of me, blue-violet eyes staring into my soul. My breath catches at our close proximity. Heat rises to my cheeks. And he…

He slips off easily before running after the ball.

It takes a moment to collect myself, mostly because my back is now coated in grass and mud. And stupid Ken didn't fare nearly so bad—he has a couple muddle, scraped knees and shins for his fall.

By the time I chase after him, he's scored his fourth goal.

Shit.

This is going to be closer than I thought.

But I always perform better when the chips are down. I need to score twice before letting him get a final goal.

And under the circumstances, I don't mind playing a little dirty.

We start again at centerfield, and this time, I hesitate just long enough for him to dribble the ball to the side to pass me. I spin with him so we're side to side, then trace a finger down his spine—Ken staggers, and I kick the ball with my heel, sending is flying between us and toward my goal.

I dart after it before he has a chance to turn around—or worse, retaliate.

Once I'm close enough, Ken on my heels, a quick instep kick is all it takes to level the score again.

One goal away.

"You cheated," he snaps as we march back to centerfield.

I laugh. "It's not like I tripped you or even pulled your shirt, Ichijouji. No ref would've called me on that."

He shoots a glare my way. "I don't care if a referee would've let is slide. You used your knowledge of my body against me. That's cheating."

I splutter, nearly dropping the ball.

My knowledge of his body?

Okay, I mean, that's technically accurate. But does he really have to say it like that when all he means is that I know how sensitive and ticklish he is and where?

"Come on, Motomiya!" He's five paces ahead, and I scurry to catch up as he snarls, "Next person to score wins, and then I get the bathroom first."

I scowl. "You're going to make me sit in a muddy mess while you take a nice long bath, aren't you?"

"You better not make a mess anywhere while you wait." We reach the center, and he turns to glare at me. "Let's get this over with already."

With the final ball, Ken is in full-on general mode, nudging and cutting the ball across the pitch diagonally, but I run down the center line to cut him off. I dive close when he reaches midfield, and he tries to evade me with an elastico, but I don't let him shake me off. Determination in his eyes, he glances toward the center and the goal, plotting his next move.

It's a feint.

When he kicks the ball again, it's a scoop turn to send the ball to the left instead, and I'm ready for him, slicing across the space to nudge it back to the right and under my control. He twists to reach me, but I nudge the ball behind me and away from him before darting back, nudging it into the air, and sending it arcing over and around him toward my goal.

Ken releases a low growl, and he's on my heels the moment I catch up to the ball, dribbling it down the field. He drives me toward the edge, cornering me in an attempt to steal the ball back, but I'm not going to let him beat me this time.

I catch the ball with one foot, sliding it to the other with a swift one-eighty spin, then pull the ball with me. Leaving me with enough space to shoot the ball with an instep kick, driving it right into the side netting.

Then, I stumble and fall, body pushed to the ground with a face full of wet grass.

Panting—and practically growling—Ken sits atop my lower back, hands holding my shoulders down. But he doesn't say anything.

I manage to push up enough to breath more than just mud and grass, and once I catch my breath, I try to turn to him. "Something wrong, Ichijouji?" Still can't see more than a scraped and muddy leg.

"Okay, fine, you won." He leans close to my ear, irritation lacing his voice. "What do you want from me?"

The words send a chill down my spine.

Everything.

I want everything from Ken.

But that's not what he means.

I pull my knee up and push off with my center, sending him flying to the ground, flat on his back. I collapse beside him with a deep sigh, eyes staring up at the overcast sky. "Don't you worry about a thing, Ichijouji. You'll find out tonight."

#daiken #digimon #digimon 02 #daisuke motomiya #ken ichijouji #fanfiction #digimon fanfiction #digi fic #seduction of motomiya daisuke #my fanfiction #anatui #anatui writes

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actualltr4sh · 4 years

Text

its been a while since i did oneuhdeez

basics what’s your name ➔ zarina do you have a nickname ➔ ‘z’ usually do you have a middle name ➔ i dew do you like your name ➔ luv do people often mispronounce your name ➔ yeah, i get “serena” a lot but i cut that shit out do you like the meaning of your name ➔ luv. it means golden so that’s fire when is your birthday ➔ 01/15 how old are you ➔ 5′4 do you like your age ➔ it’s okay. i’m old lmao what’s your zodiac sign ➔ good cap!

appearance what’s your hair colour ➔ blackityblackblackblack is your current hair colour your natural hair colour ➔ yeth do you dye your hair ➔ i have before, i don’t make a habit of it though do you have natural highlights ➔ nerp when was the last time you had a haircut ➔ recently! like a month ago lol what length is your hair right now ➔ um the back of it is like at the base of my neck but the front is short lol do you have straight, wavy or curly hair ➔ nigger curls boo do you have frizzy hair ➔ not usually do you use a curling iron ➔ not usually do you use a hair straightener ➔ not usually do you braid your hair ➔ almost always lmao what’s your eye colour ➔ brown do your eyes change colour ➔ this is not a john green novel lol do you wear contacts ➔ never!! if so, do you use colour contacts or regular contacts ➔ NEVER!! do you wear glasses ➔ yes i can not fucking see bro lmao do you have naturally long eyelashes ➔ not really ;/ they look so bare lol do you wear braces ➔ no do you have dimples ➔ no do you have moles ➔ a few, none on my face tho do you have outstanding cheekbones ➔ kinda? not really. i got a good jaw tho do you have freckles ➔ nerp. love em though do you have piercings ➔ i lost some :( i have 8 now do you have tattoos ➔ 6?? do you wear make up ➔ just my eyebrows cus i dont have any lol do you paint your nails ➔ sometimes. whenever im feeling edgy do you wear jewelry ➔ bracelets normally but my wrist just broke out so not now are you happy with your height ➔ it’s fine. im not like short but im not tall either

personality would you consider yourself outgoing or shy ➔ super shy and anxious baybee are you sarcastic ➔ i used to be a lot worse but its toned down a lot. too anxious LMAO what’s your biggest fear ➔ being in a car accident.. didn’t used to be number 1 but now? yep what’s your guilty pleasure ➔ coke. not like cocaine but coca cola LMAO are you religious ➔ meh do you get easily along with people ➔ typically! do you cry easily ➔ if i cry a lot is that the same thing as crying easily? idk. i be stressed though lmao

school do you go to middle school ➔ like now??? do you go to high school ➔ ?????? do you go to a private school ➔ no lol are you home schooled ➔ nope have you gratuated from school ➔ ya ya ya ya yaaaa what grade are you in ➔ done done done done doneeeee have you skipped a grade ➔ nope have you been held back a grade ➔ almost! freshman year of high school was whooping my ASS okay have you ever failed a class ➔ bitch several have you been sent to the principals office ➔ not to my knowledge have you skipped school ➔ yeah i used to be tripping have you cheated on a test ➔ how else would i have gotten my degree lol

family do you live with your biological parents ➔ hell nope do you get along with your parents ➔ mehhhhh my dad yeah my mom not really do you tell your parents everything ➔ man hell no lol do you have strict parents ➔ growing up my mom was v strict do you have siblings ➔ 5! are you the oldest ➔ nerp are you in the middle ➔ almost are you the youngest ➔ pretty much?? but not really are all of your grandparents still alive ➔ um... on my dads side maybe?? i think so

friendships do you have a best friend ➔ yeth do you have more than 10 friends ➔ yall funny as fuck do you have at least 2 friends you can trust with your life ➔ i guess. i dont even trust myself with my life if we being real lmao do you have a lot of guy friends, a lot of girl friends or equal girl and guy friends ➔ i dont have a lot of friends period its probs equal or more girls do you text with your friends a lot ➔ two of them i talk to almost every day!

relationships what’s your relationship status ➔ dolla dolla bill yall! have you ever been in love ➔ i have and bitch oowee do you believe in love at first sight ➔ idk lmao have you ever been in a relationship ➔ one serious one and like some other shit have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ idk issa secret boo have you ever been asked out on a date ➔ yesss have you ever been kissed ➔ yeah the hoes love it have you ever made out with someone ➔ i haveeee have you ever been cheated on ➔ kinda. he got me on a technicality and that shit fucked me UP have you ever been proposed to ➔ no i hope so one day!! do you want to get married ➔ WIFE ME do you want kids ➔ one seems like enough but what if they get only child syndrome? you have to have 2 for their sanity lmao

country where were you born ➔ ugh where do you live right now ➔ UGH have you ever been out of the country ➔ canada lmao do you prefer country or city ➔ city me please do you like sightseeing ➔ sure! is one or more of your parents from another country ➔ yeth what places would you like to visit ➔ antiguaaaaa are you fluent in more than one language ➔ black what languages can you speak ➔ colored and white if we being real LMFAOOO i be code switching like a mf

health do you have any allergies ➔ naw cuh are you lactose intolerant ➔ man hell yeah that shit is a serious barrier have you had surgery ➔ noooo hopefully never have you had stitches ➔ no & never have you broken a bone ➔ no & never! bitch i be chilling has someone close to you died of a disease ➔ not to my knowledge.. wait yes im an asshole for forgetting do you exercise a lot ➔ this is a joke

experiences have you ever had a near death experiene ➔ a few :/ have you ever been on a plane ➔ a couple times! have you ever had an allnighter ➔ freshman year lmao have you ever been to school/work after a sleepless night ➔ FRESHMAN YEAR have you ever been in a physical fight ➔ kinda lmao have you ever been to a wedding ➔ yesss i wanna go to one again so bad I LOVE LOVE have you ever been to a funeral ➔ :( have you ever lived in a different country ➔ no have you ever been drunk ➔ i be fucked up have you ever been trick or treating ➔ yes free candy is weird but its cool lmao have you ever been in a school play ➔ i was in crew in HS lol have you ever been to a camp ➔ no actually why didnt i have that summer camp lifestyle in middle school have you ever driven a car ➔ barely bitch

skills how many languages are you fluent in ➔ i told you have you ever read a book in another language ➔ no can you roll your tongue ➔ not really? can you braid hair ➔ nope lmao can you do a handstand ➔ eye can

habits do you crack your knuckles ➔ not as much as i used to? if i do i really dont even notice it lmao do you bite your nails ➔ noooo do you bite your lips ➔ noooo

favourites what’s your favourite movie ➔ it’s different all the time today we’ll say bring it on lmao what’s your favourite tv show ➔ greys anatomy s1-8.. gotta clarify this new shit wack what’s your favourite book ➔ the mothers x britt bennett what’s your favourite song ➔ idk... lets say my boy builds coffins Florence & the machine what’s your favourite colour ➔ blk what’s your favourite animal ➔ zebra. owl. what’s your favourite season ➔ fall or spring!!

this or that summer or winter ➔ ugh honestly neither day or night ➔ night me pls cats or dogs ➔ dog rain or shine ➔ rainnnn if im inside watching tv, sun if i have shit to do lol coffee or tea ➔ coffeeeee i don’t like tea that much tbh lol reading or writing ➔ writing probs humorous or serious ➔ humor me brown or blue eyes ➔ brwn single or group dates ➔ single i have too much anxiety for that lol texts or calls ➔ i think i like talking otp more but i genuinely hate both unless i love you driving or walking ➔ i walk everywhere if i can but cars are more efficient lol

last last phone call ➔ an apartment complex lol last text ➔ “her family pimpin her out smh” somebody said this about an old lady!! last song you listened to ➔ savage x meg last thing you ate ➔ some wack ass chips lmao last thing you drank ➔ raspberry lemonade last purchase ➔ the wack ass chips and the lemonade lol last time you cleaned your room ➔ technically a few weeks ago when i moved out lol last time you’ve been on a date ➔ january? yeah january

#about me #doing these used to be soo fun lmao #my answers are almost always the same but who cares

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cloakedmonk · 7 years

Text

What has Theater taught me? Ego indulgence and humility. Confidence and neurosis. Teamwork and competition. Empathy and retreat. Deception and honesty. The story of humanity in a microcosm. My story.

When I was a little kid, I learned that I could entertain and amuse my parents and my older sisters and get positive attention. As the youngest of four daughters, I was eager to exercise this talent to my advantage whenever my ego felt bereft. This helped me compensate for having fewer general skills and powers than my seniors. I couldn’t win at games or read or figure or run better than the rest, but I could sing and mime and look cute. I also was the only blonde, which helped.

When I was in second grade, I was very good at reading aloud “with expression”. I remember (and still have a written report about) my behavior when the class did a Reader’s Theater story about a snake. I told the teacher that I had a toy snake the class could use…provided that I got to read the lead role. Mrs. Richie declined my offer.

When I was in third grade, Miss White selected me to play Captain Hook in the musical Peter Pan. I was stunned. “I’m not a boy!” I protested. She told me privately that she thought I’d do a better job than any of the boys in the class. She could tell that I was a ham and would take risks to win attention and applause. And I did. In the final week of rehearsal, she gave me a monologue, a poem in rhyme that she would put into a particular scene if I could memorize it. I worked on it very hard. In the final performance, though, I skipped it altogether because I forgot where it was supposed to be inserted. To this day, I can rattle it off by heart. “Methinks I hear a spark, a gleam, a glimmer of a plan….”

The pirate theme lives on in my legacy.

When I was in seventh grade, I was double-cast as the lead in our pre-Bicentennial musical. I was the Spirit of ’75 for two performances (why the Music teacher and the Home Ec teacher chose this theme a year early is anyone’s guess). So was Kevin Bry. Yes, I played a man. Again. I vividly remember being in performance and feeling sort of bored with the dialogue the teachers had written to link together the songs the school chorus had rehearsed. So I decided to overact. “The sun still rises in the East….doesn’t it????!!” The audience roared. I think they were pretty bored, too.

When I was in High School, I took real Drama classes. I learned to dance, and I gained some confidence singing solos in the Concert Choir and the Jazz Choir. I became a lot more aware of my own vulnerability, too. I will never forget the Talent Show in my Junior year. I was in a leotard and character shoes, posed and ready to dance when the curtain went up. I was listening for our taped music to begin. And I heard nothing…until the audience started to howl and whistle. Suddenly, I felt naked and taunted. Then the music started, and I couldn’t concentrate on it. I was humiliated. My father and mother and boyfriend (who became my husband) were in the audience, hearing those students jeering at me. We all went out for ice cream afterward, and they tried to convince me that the performance wasn’t bad and the audience wasn’t being critical, but I just wanted to block the whole thing out of my memory forever. Obviously, I haven’t.

When I was in college, I was a Music major with Voice Performance as my Senior thesis. I auditioned for a part in a Gilbert and Sullivan operetta as a Junior. I hate auditions. I tend to choke when I know that someone is out there in those dark seats judging me. I am awesome in rehearsal – prepared, alert, willing and tireless. I was working hard, getting better at performance in my Master Classes and feeling more and more that my teachers and colleagues were actually rooting for me. But not at an audition. I was nervous, my mouth was dry, and my voice wavered. I could see my choir teacher in the house, talking with the casting director. I am sure that Prof. Lamkin was telling him that I was a very good soprano despite my weak scale runs in Mabel’s aria. I managed to land a part in the chorus.

That’s me, third lady on the left.

After graduating Phi Beta Kappa with my B.A. in Music, I auditioned for the Los Angeles Master Chorale. Worst audition EVER! Oh well. I found out that I was already pregnant. Got the role of Mother at age 22…and 24…and 26…and 28, and stayed off the stage for years. Meanwhile, my husband performed all over the country with a competitive Barbershop quartet and once at Carnegie Hall with the Robert Shaw Chorale Workshop. My children were on stage quite a bit, too. I was their coach. They were in all the school concerts and plays, took dance and music classes, and I watched and cheered and videotaped my heart out.

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Then some neighbors invited me to help them start a Community Theater. I was tired of being in the background. I stepped up, and brought my oldest daughter with me. The next summer, I brought three of my children, my husband, and my mother-in-law as rehearsal accompanist. The next summer, it was just me, and my husband told me that he wouldn’t be able to solo parent while I was at rehearsal after this. Meanwhile, he was performing with the Chicago Master Singers and rehearsing every week. A few years later, my youngest daughter started taking theater classes with a group called CYT. The next summer, they did a community theater production, and I auditioned again and got cast. My oldest daughter played in the pit band. One of the performances was on my birthday, and the director brought me out on stage for the audience to sing for me during intermission. * shucks, folks! *

Joseph CCT

Carousel Cary CT

Hello Dolly Cary CT

Godspell Cary CT

Beauty & the Beast CCT

I ended up working for CYT and becoming their Operations Supervisor full time. In addition, I taught Voice classes and Musical Theater classes and Show Choir classes to kids aged 8-18 after work. All of my children and my husband participated at some point in the seven years I was employed there. I watched kids grow up in the theater, auditioning three times a year, growing in confidence and artistry, and questioning their identity every time.

“Who am I, anyway? Am I my résumé? That is a picture of a person I don’t know.” A Chorus Line

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Accessing emotions, improvising with another person’s energy – initiation, response, vulnerability, defense. Mime, mimicry, mannerisms, artifice and accents. Playing in the muck of human behavior. This is Theater. It can be devastating and edifying. You can lose yourself and find yourself or never know the difference.

I wonder if I should regret raising up a bunch of performers and encouraging them in this charade or if I should be proud to have modeled survival in the arena. I don’t know. It’s complex. We’re complex. And maybe that’s the entire lesson.

Theater Lessons What has Theater taught me? Ego indulgence and humility. Confidence and neurosis. Teamwork and competition. Empathy and retreat.

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joiminer · 7 years

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Yeah I said it, now what? I was the portal that dopeness chose to enter this world and I ain’t ashamed to say so. Lol. No, but for real. Have you ever looked at your child and been like, “you’ve been here before,” or “if you’re this dope, then I must be like the supreme Goddess of dopeness because I actually grew you,” or “you’re going to be the most awesome adult ever”? I do it every day, with both of my girls. But my oldest, my first born, my Mango, she’s BY FAR, the most awesome person I’ve met… and that says a lot because I know a LOT of super awesome people! I mean, like famous and almost famous, and even local celebrity type people. But my daughter is one of my favorite people in the world to be around, hands down.

My baby ain’t a baby no more.

The funny thing is that this is the time when most mothers are wanting to strangle their teens. I invite mine into my room, we sit up and listen to music and write and talk for hours, she tells me almost everything and I am SO open with her, too. My momma told me recently that I was so lucky because by 15, she was ready to buy my headstone and dig me a hole. I was a mess. And I’ll admit it. Then, she did the worst thing a Southern mother can do to her child… she cursed me. Told me that Phoenix was gonna be the one to get her payback for her. Like, really momma? Dang. Lol. So, I’m just telling y’all right now, ten years from now, don’t be coming back over here looking for another “my teenager is dope” post. It’ll probably be more like, “5 ways to maintain your sanity when raising a diva who can’t even drive…” Lol. But I digress. Back to the one I got it right with the first time.

I know… I know, y’all probably think that I’m biased because she’s my daughter. Well, let me nip that in the bud. I’m gonna give you just the 3 MAIN reasons that my 15-year-old is dope and I bet you’ll be agreeing with me by the end of this post.

Reason #1:

She’s an artist

Her wall of drawings

More drawings and paintings

Ok, let me clarify. I’m a poet/novelist/publisher/editor. I can do ANYTHING that involves words. But Mango… she can do that and then some. Like, she’s a writer/poet/photographer/videographer/editor/painter/graphics designer. Yes, she does all of those things. And does them all WELL. She writes better than I do, and I ain’t even jealous. I mean, we want our children to be better than us, right? She’s on my mixtape as a poet. She hosted the open mic at my Sowing Seeds event back in August featuring world-renown Poet Sunni Patterson, the only teen in a room full of adults and she kilt that shit! Yeah, I said kilt. Lol. She’s reclusive in real life but a powerhouse onstage, man… for real.

She’s a 9th Grader at Ramsay IB High School, and was voted VP of her school’s Creative Writing group. She wrote an essay to get them funding for their newsletter. She wrote a poem about me, comparing me to a flower in a vase whose nourishing water was her own tears. Yeah… that one there, gets me every time. She got her first poem published in the 8th Grade. (Thanks DISCO.) She’s writing her first novel.

I mean, I could go on and on with this one alone. But I’ll just share the song that we did together for my upcoming mixtape, also featuring my sister Poetic Puff, as evidence. Ya know, so you don’t think I’m making it all up. Lol.

Mind of Mango is a private exclusive, only being shared here. Enjoy! (Feel free to download.)

Reason #2

She fed the homeless for her birthday

I’ll forever remember this as one of the many moments that meant so much to me. My daughter came to me and told me that she wanted to feed the homeless people around her school (5 Points South in Birmingham) for her birthday. Now, most teenagers want their learner’s permit. They want a part-time job. They want gifts, but she wanted to feed others. She was going to use her allowance to do it, but, come on… what mother wouldn’t want to make this wish come true for her child?

Mango, the mastermind

The bags

Inviting people over to take the bags

I have no idea what I’m saying here. Lol.

Well, it snowed on her birthday, January 7th. That was dope because she loves the snow and y’all know we barely get that mess here in Alabama. But the next weekend, we were up at 7 in the morning. Well, they were, I was asleep but they came and got me and were dressed and excited. By 9am, we had bought Wal-Mart out of all of their toothbrush travel packs, bought a couple cases of water, juice, oranges, boxes of chips, granola, gloves and skulleys. So… a Facebook post, that got the help of several of my dear friends and fans of both myself and my baby girl, and a couple hundred dollars later, we were ready to feed the homeless.

That face is priceless!

“You’re gonna let ME put this on your hands. Lol.

Phoenix was the official hand sanitizer distributor, happy to help her big sister make her dream come true. My dear friends AJ and Rob (soon-to-be Mrs. And Mr. Danner III) and their children came up from Prattville with more water (and fussed me out for not asking them to help more). Poet Brint Story and the beautiful Jasmine Enriquez were also there to help distribute the food and supplies. It was a MONUMENTAL day, man. Like, worth every dollar, second, and smile. Check out the slideshow below. Photos courtesy of Mr. Danner.

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Still not convinced of her dopeness yet??? No worries, there’s more. Lol.

Reason #3

She pitched and landed her own teen open mic to give herself and her peers a judgment free zone of expression

Mango is an artist, beyond the shadow of a doubt. But, as you can see, she’s also a very caring person. She approached me last year, after she hosted the open mic at my event, and said that she wanted to create one of her own for the teens in the area. She said she feels like they have nowhere that they can express themselves and their voices be heard. Of course, as always, I was all for it. She wanted to start in the Spring and have it at Avondale Park.

Well, the way the Universe is set-up, things happened a little differently than planned. In November, I spoke to the students at Putnam Middle School at the invitation of my dear poet friend, Mojo Mama. There, I met Liz Hughey, who owns DISCO (Desert Island Supply Company). I thanked her for having me, and told her that they’d published my daughter’s first poem. She asked who my daughter was. I told her Mango Miner. She nodded, smiled, and said, “that makes sense.” That, by far, is one of the most flattering compliments that I’ve received to date. Lol. I told her about Mango’s desire to start a teen open mic and she was all ears.

The next morning, I received an email offering the venue to Dira for her open mic. I just want you to read that part again… I’ll wait.

Ok, now I’ll proceed. Now, because I’m a teacher and mother first, I didn’t take it upon myself to do anything else but thank Mrs. Liz and tell Mango about the opportunity. Then, I emailed Mango a pitch that I’d done in the past and she emulated it and… her first teen open mic is on Friday, February 17, 2017. I did nothing. She did it all. On her own, with a little coaching from her entrepreneur mom. Even now, the meetings, the planning, the FB Fan Page, the promotions. All her. She’s fifteen. Hell, when I was 15, I was still trying to figure out why boys were so stupid. (Still haven’t figured that one out by the way. So, anyone with the answer, please feel free to share.)

But it gets better. (I feel like I’m on an infomercial… “But wait, there’s more.” Lol.)

Soooo, she wanted to call it “Mic Check.” But there’s already a popular event here by that name hosted by an awesome married couple, G.I. Magus and Jacqueline Jones. So, on the pitch, by the name of the event, I told her to put “TBD” and explained to her that it meant To Be Determined. Well, she chose to keep that name because she said that, as teens maturing into adults, their lives, their destinies, their everything is still being determined. Pretty cool, huh? (I will take a moment to say that she was heartbroken that “Mic Check” was taken, but she respected the reason that she couldn’t use it. She’s a better bad news taker than most adults I know. Lolbvs.)

I reached out to a few friends and they agreed to sponsor the event through the provision of chaperones every 1st and 3rd Friday night. She was excited about the sponsorships, but livid with me for bringing adults into the mix. See, Mango wants her event to be “by teens for teens.” Of course, all of my adult friends want to come show support, but she ain’t having it. Like, she even told me I could just drop her off. *insert hurt face with pearls clutched here*

Nahhhh, not for real, I don’t even wear pearls, but I was kinda hurt. But then, she explained it to me… she said, and I quote, “Umi, people, especially teens who are unsure of themselves, are less likely to open up and be true to themselves when they are in the presence of someone that they feel is superior to them.” Well… what could I say after that but, “ok, what time do I need to drop you off”?

So, as any proud mom would do, I’m blogging and posting all over social media about my daughter’s first ever artistic endeavor. That’s she’s doing with little to no assistance from grown-ups. Well, her dad did design the flyer… and I coached her… a little… and adults are providing the venue, but you know what the hell I’m trying to say. Sheesh!

Bragging Rights

See, I have an issue with bragging on myself, but I have no qualms whatsoever when it comes to bragging on my children. You know why? Because they are my Magnum Opuses. They are the greatest achievements I will ever have in my life and, books and performances and accolades aside… THEY are my legacy.

Now, are you ready to admit my teenager is doper than yours yet? If not, ‘tis cool. I wouldn’t expect a good parent like you to sell your baby short like that anyway. But… you’ve gotta admit, she is REALLY dope. Grown-ups wanna be her… Hell, I wanna be her! I WAS her one year for Halloween, actually. I told her that on my birthday, I could be anyone or anything I wanted to be (yes, I’m a spook baby), but I chose to be her. That did wonders on her self-esteem, man. She even styled me to make sure I got her swag right… do people still say swag? I can’t even keep up with the slanguage nowadays.

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Always

All

Smiles when we’re together!

Joi Miner as Mango Miner

Mango Miner

But I will say that when it comes to dope teens doing dope things, I truly believe I have the dopest of the dope.

3 Reasons Why My Teenager is Doper Than Yours! Yeah I said it, now what? I was the portal that dopeness chose to enter this world and I ain’t ashamed to say so.

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