#;; for the tainted sorrow (chuuya) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

robsterskellington · 26 days

Text

So the first snippet you all wanted was for Soukoku, so I guess we shouldn't have been surprised that you all wanted Shin Soukoku next!

Context: Vanitas has been in Yokohama for over a month now, still has amnesia, and has managed to cure some of the Vampires created by Bram's Ability by using the Book of Vanitas (disclaimer: that is *not* Vanitas' Ability, its just something the book can do- instead of curing Vampires of malnomens, it turns Vampires created by Bram back into Humans). Akutagawa is slowly healing and wants to know exactly how he feels about Atsushi, so now that he's human again, he has been trying to spend time with Atsushi. This is one of those times. Vanitas is not in this piece, but he is mentioned a bit.

Enjoy!

*Ugh, it's the full moon again tonight...* Atsushi was grateful for the affects of All Men Are Created Equal, however the one thing that it couldn't stop was Byakko coming out completely every full moon. It was difficult to lock himself up or hide, though he was always grateful that Dazai had that storage container for him to use. He was mostly moody because...

Atsushi wasn't stupid, obviously he knew at some point Akutagawa and he would have to fight properly, but he couldn't deny that hanging out with Akutagawa outside of everything had been fun. They would spar, they would discuss things about work, though talking about the past was difficult for both of them. They both had their scars, but that was okay- it was a sign that they'd survived so much terror.

As if his thoughts had manifested the man in his thoughts, Akutagawa had sent him a text; Atsushi had wanted to keep in touch officially, since when they weren't fighting each other, they actually defended one another, Akutagawa's neck was proof of that claim. Shaking his head, ridding himself of that nightmarish image, Atsushi opened the text:

*Jinko, I know what tonight is, but I still want you to meet up with me today. If you trust me enough, meet me at the teahouse near the Red Brick Warehouse, in one hour.*

"You should trust him," Ranpo said before Atsushi could even gather his thoughts- he just looked towards the detective, who had a pocky sticking out of his mouth, and was looking through some drawings that Vanitas had made, "Akutagawa's obviously up to something, and I can confirm it's nothing nefarious. Even if it was, you'd still go, right?"

"I don't need to confirm that, you already know you're right." It was like Ranpo was a mind-reader. *Not Gifted, my ass.* Still, he was right, of course he was. If Akutagawa asked to meet, then he'd go, even if nobody else trusted him. The deadline was now four months away, but it didn't matter to him- he could only live in the present for the time being, so he wouldn't let the thoughts of his and Akutagawa's inevitable fight to the death bother him.

Besides, he wasn't needed at the office anyway. Vanitas was probably at the café with the Tanizaki's, the President was at a meeting with Special Operations, and Dazai was likely causing problems. Kyouka and Kenji were enrolled at the local school, so they were likely at their apartments doing their homework. Though Ranpo essentially gave him the go-ahead, Kunikida frowned at him, "Akutagawa's just trying to get you to drop your guard, make it easier for him to kill you."

"No, he isn't. Even if he was, he's still gotta keep his promise for another four months, he won't fight me until then..." Wait, was he actually *defending* the guy who was going to turn him into a tiger skin rug? Atsushi had caught himself but cleared his throat, "I don't believe there's malicious intent. Besides, I can handle myself. I promise, Mr. Kunikida."

Kunikida looked at him from over the top of his glasses and sighed, "Fine. I may not trust that wretched dog, but I trust *you*. Try and stay safe."

"I will!" He ran off after that, though he had the sense to keep his location on his cell in case anything did happen. He doubted Akutagawa would break his promise and kill him early, but one can never be too careful.

*****

The teahouse was one that Akutagawa frequented with Gin, since it was a nice halfway point between the Port Mafia base and their apartment. Akutagawa felt a bit more relaxed than usual- Vanitas had found that despite his Ability being unrelated to the book, which apparently showed illnesses and maladies in Vampires, he could still use it- Vampires were turning back to human, though it was a slow process, since Vanitas was only one man, and Fukuchi had turned about 38% of the entire world into Vampires.

He saw Atsushi heading in his direction and gave him his full attention, "Weretiger. How are you feeling?"

"...same as I always do on days like this." Akutagawa gave him a look of pity; the full transformations weren't something Atsushi had control of, and containing a wild tiger was about as easy as it sounded. Byakko never hurt anyone, but it would break into places that had food, or rummage for scraps. It was a good thing that the Municipal Police and the Military Police had agreed that he wasn't a risk, otherwise he'd be shipped off to Mersault, or put to death.

Morbid thoughts aside, Akutagawa just nodded sympathetically, "I'm going to help you with that. For now, let's get something to eat so you're not suffering later. What's your favourite?"

"I, uhh... chazuke... wait, why are you help-"

"Chazuke. Alright, I'll order us a few bowls, you're going to need the energy."

That *always* happened. Atsushi would ask Akutagawa why he was being nice, or why he was helping, or even why he was so determined to wait for months before they fought to the death, but there was never any answer. Akutagawa had changed since Vanitas reversed the Vampirism... though he also changed in a few other ways. Lungs aren't able to be healed completely once damaged, but the pain could be eased and living with painful lungs could be fine if handled correctly.

Vanitas had apparently been a doctor in his world, and had developed some herbal medicines and remedies, since his world was more advanced in some ways, less advanced in others. Astermite meant that Vanitas' world had a more advanced fuel source while this world would be royally fucked eventually. While hospitals were more advanced here, some of Vanitas' medicines were far better for so much, including a remedy to soothe Akutagawa's lungs, chest and throat.

It wasn't difficult to see all the changes. Akutagawa's coughing had all but subsided, and because of this, he was going out more often since the air didn't feel like smoke was filling his lungs every time he breathed, though he still wore a face mask whenever he went to the beach. The sun was having an affect on him as well, as he'd actually been going out and walking, so he'd developed a slight tan. Finally, the most obvious change was that he'd put on a slight bit of weight- who knew it was easier to enjoy food when you weren't constantly coughing up everything you swallowed?

Atsushi could finally see just how much Akutagawa could eat in a sitting now, and despite him obviously not gorging himself, it was apparent that it was more than he'd usually eat. They both ate until they had a small pile of bowls each, then Akutagawa paid the bill. The time was going faster than Atsushi had liked, since he honestly just wanted to sit here and talk with Akutagawa. It was like they could be normal kids for once. Akutagawa may point out that at 20 years old, he was no longer a child, but Atsushi wasn't buying that.

Once it had evidently reached the right time, Akutagawa stood up and held his hand out to Atsushi, "Are you willing to trust me?"

He shouldn't. Akutagawa had hurt him so much, and yet... when everything looked bad, and Atsushi was at his lowest moments, Akutagawa was the one to help him. Sure, Dazai had done a lot, but that was more because he must have felt obligated, Akutagawa didn't have that same issue.

Atsushi took his hand.

****

"I didn't know you could drive!" It took around an hour, but Akutagawa had driven them both to what looked like a forest just outside of town. Akutagawa had a simple black car, complete Mafia style, and Atsushi had wondered how he never knew. After all, most of the Port Mafia of a higher station, like Akutagawa, Kouyou, Chuuya and obviously the Boss, were normally driven around.

"It's a skill that a lot of people need to learn, Jinko. I learned to drive at 14." He smirked when he watched Atsushi grow pale and simply nodded, "Illegal, of course. But we are the Port Mafia for a reason. The Boss and some of the execs teach any young recruits the basic criminal stuff, like how to kill, steal, manipulate. However, we are also taught first aid, how to drive, how to cook and to protect ourselves and the Port Mafia."

"...did Dazai skip the learn to cook tutorial? And the driving one?" Atsushi winced at remembering the slop Dazai once served to them, calling it his *Super Stamina Hot Pot Curry*. Yosano's Ability worked overtime that day. And Kunikida had told Atsushi about Dazai's driving- his eyes still looked haunted by the memory, and he ended up throwing up. Driving so bad that even the memory causes motion sickness? Impressive, if not horrifying.

Akutagawa failed to hold back his laughter this time, and Atsushi stared at him; this was the first time he'd ever heard the sound of Akutagawa's laugh, and it was enough to make him smile. In that moment, with him holding his stomach and shaking with a grin on his face, Akutagawa looked younger. It was truly a sight, though Atsushi hid concern over the fact that his heart had skipped a beat, and he wasn't quite sure why his thoughts turned to just how *beautiful* Akutagawa looked with-

"No, he tried to learn," Akutagawa said while wiping a few stray tears from his eyes, continuing to giggle, "However, it was quickly decided that some things shouldn't be taught to some people. Meaning, only Dazai. Is he still bad?"

"Less said the better." Atsushi laughed, wincing at the memories. He looked around, at all the trees, flowers and listened to the birds chirping from above. It was so peaceful here, and the setting sun kept them warm for the time being. Akutagawa had picked up a backpack from the trunk of his car before they had started walking, and Atsushi knew better than to ask. Eventually, they reached a clearing, where there was a giant tree, lying on its side with its roots revealed. Atsushi glanced at Akutagawa who just stared at the tree before asking quietly, "Akutagawa, what is this place?"

"...we've known each other a long time. Obviously things are a little strained between us, but I know I can trust you. So, you can call me Ryū, if you'd like." That had made Atsushi flinch, but he couldn't deny that being told he could use not only Akutagawa's given name, but a shortened version to make it more casual, felt really good.

"Ryū. Okay, deal... though I don't think I'd get used to you calling me Atsushi. That freaked me out enough when you had the flu." They both looked embarrassed at that and Atsushi rubbed the back of his neck, "Weretiger and Jinko are fine."

"Agreed. And to answer your question... this is where I met Dazai." Atsushi froze and stared at Akutagawa, who had a warm smile on his face, "I was 14 years old. I came here, tracking down some men who had attacked Gin and I's street family."

It wasn't a secret that the Akutagawa siblings grew up in the slums, mostly the ones in Suribachi City, but to hear Akutagawa openly recounting the memories was strange. Atsushi wasn't sure he could ever actually tell anyone about his time at the Orphanage- the burns, the stabbing, getting nails hammered into his hands, the time he was nearly crucified? He ignored his thoughts as he continued to listen:

"One of the boys had stolen a diamond from those men, and Rashōmon proved that it was real. We were all so excited, thinking about where to sell it, knowing that with that money, we could buy a place of our own and enough food to live off until we could heal, get cleaned up, and find jobs to continue living a decent lifestyle." Even as desperate, starving children, they weren't willing to be stupid or wasteful with money. "However... those men hunted us down, and attacked."

"All for one diamond?!" That was disgusting. He winced and looked at Akutagawa, "How many of you were there?"

"Seven. Then suddenly, it was just Gin and myself. When I'm afraid or panicked, I can't control Rashōmon properly, so I was unable to avoid getting shot in the stomach. Gin was the only girl, and the men saw it. So they took her with them when they couldn't find the diamond, with the intent to sell her." Atsushi's body went cold, yet he couldn't imagine how Akutagawa must've felt.

A 14 year old boy, who had watched his friends die, got shot, and had his only family stolen from him. Obviously he would have wanted revenge, acted like a rabid dog who had lost too much and decided to go truly feral. Atsushi understood now why Akutagawa made sure to keep as calm as possible with fighting- if Rashōmon can't protect him, nothing can.

Again, thoughts manifested as Rashōmon took a small form, appearing as a demonic head on Akutagawa's shoulder, nuzzling its master's cheek, which made him smile. Not many people understood that Rashōmon was a Living Ability: a Gift that was literally alive. Capable of its own thoughts and feelings, but still under the control of it User. Demon Snow was an example of this, and while Byakko was as well, it was more independent and didn't do what it was told when fully out.

"I tracked the men down, to here. They didn't have Gin with them, so I demanded to know where she was. That was when they made the mistake of lying to me. They told me that she had been killed on her way to the person who bought her." He took a breath, trying not to let the memories consume him completely, "I hurt them, screamed obscenities, demanded to know who killed her. But they only screamed, or told me to kill myself if I wanted to see her again. I killed them all."

Atsushi found himself walking over to Akutagawa and putting his hands on his shoulders, "Ryū, if this is too much, I-" He watched as Akutagawa put a hand on top of his, before shaking his head.

"I'm okay, Jinko. Anyway, after that, I heard a voice from behind me. It was a boy, a little older than me, his eye wrapped with bandages. Rashōmon thought he was going to hurt me, and lashed at him, only to be dissipated by his Ability." Dazai, of course. Atsushi tilted his head and Akutagawa smirked, "The men were jewel smugglers for the Port Mafia, but found out they could make more profit by selling them to other organisations. Dazai came to eliminate them, but saw that I had done his job for him. I was lost, a scared child with nothing left. So I asked him: *can you give me a reason to live*? And he did. He lead me to the Port Mafia."

That explained Akutagawa's earlier jealousy. Dazai had saved Atsushi, too. Though the circumstances were very different. Atsushi concentrated on the story though, "Did he also lead you to Gin?"

"He did. She'd been sold to a child fighting ring." At the sight of Atsushi's jaw dropping, he sighed, "*Yes*, that's a thing. *No*, the Port Mafia doesn't allow that. We train children to work with us, we'd never force them to fight to the death for profit."

"Okay, thank God." He took a breath to relax then nodded towards the backpack, "Sorry to change the subject, but..?"

Akutagawa answered by removing the backpack and emptying its contents: a few blankets, some food, hot tea in flasks, and some spare clothes. He looked towards Atsushi and spoke gently, "There's a second reason I brought you here. I know your Tiger causes issues in town, so... now it has a whole forest to explore. I'll stay with you, make sure you don't wander off, and you can transform without fear."

Atsushi moved without thinking. He wrapped his arms tightly around Akutagawa, feeling as if he could cry. This beautiful forest was perfect for Byakko to wander and explore, and with nobody around, there was zero chance of anyone getting hurt. Akutagawa could easily protect himself if the Tiger was hostile, but he doubted that it would be. Mostly because...

Fun fact: tigers aren't able to purr like cats do, and yet- here Atsushi was, a soft rumbling sound coming from his chest, that only got louder when Akutagawa wrapped his arms around Atsushi. He made no comments about the purring, and Atsushi suddenly understood why as Rashōmon began to make a similar sound. The Tiger and Rashōmon purred together, and they made their Users want to laugh, but they were also getting their Users to relax.

After a little longer, Akutagawa pulled away, to set up the blankets. Atsushi also noticed that he'd brought a book about birds, seeing that some of the birds on the cover were actually in the forest. It would be good to see what birds they could spot while the sun was still providing light. He also had another book for entertainment- Atsushi recognised it as one Kyouka read, and while he thought the language used was a little vulgar for her, he saw that it was obviously a love story and let it slide.

They ate snacks and bird watched, but then Akutagawa decided to ask: "Do you remember how you got your Ability?" At his puzzles look, Akutagawa elaborated, "Were you born with the Tiger, or did you inherit it? Or... did the Orphanage experiment on you, or traumatise you enough that the Tiger was the result?"

Atsushi frowned to himself, having to really think about that. The first option of being born with the Tiger made sense, though it was certainly an unusual Gift to be born with. Not unheard of, just unusual. The only experiment that he went through was with Shibuzawa, but he already had the Tiger by that point. Maybe the trauma did create the Ability, but at the same time, weren't they beating the shit out of him *because* he could turn into a Tiger? He had nobody to inherit the Gift from, so that was out of the window. "...I have no idea. If I had to guess, I'd say I was born with it."

"I see. Forgive my curiosity, I just couldn't help myself!" Akutagawa wanted to know more about Atsushi, it felt better to. The boy had tried to save him so many times, even when he was verbally and physically assaulting him. Even when Fukuchi killed him, the last thing he saw was Atsushi trying to reach out to him. The mind may trick people, but eyes don't lie- Atsushi had been devastated by his death, and Akutagawa would have been as well if their positions had been switched. Not that he could admit that, yet.

"...what about you?" He found himself asking meekly. When he saw Akutagawa's face drop, he hurriedly spoke while waving his hands, "You don't have to answer, I just-"

"Inherited." He said with a soft voice. Atsushi blinked and Akutagawa sighed, "Well, I took Rashōmon from its original master- mistress, actually- though it chose me to wield it."

Atsushi found himself sitting up and giving Akutagawa his full attention. He chuckled and looked up at the sky- once he'd verified that there was enough time, he told his story:

*****

When Gin and I were young, I think I was about 6, so Gin was 4, our parents decided that they didn't want kids anymore. So they dumped us at our grandparents doorstep, and we never saw them again. Our grandmother was Gifted with Rashōmon- a Living Ability that turns cloth into a blade, armour, and a beast.

She didn't want children, nor grandchildren, she wanted servants. So Gin and I were forced to take that role. Our grandfather wasn't any better- we couldn't even call them our grandparents, we had to refer to them as Master and Mistress. So we became their help, having to cook, clean, go shopping. We weren't allowed to spend a penny on ourselves, and we could only eat the scraps that they didn't eat.

Years were spent like that, but things changed one day; the Master had developed a lung disease, one I found out later that the bastard knew he would develop and pass on to any offspring. He didn't bother to get treatment, refused any medication Gin and I bought... we hated him, but we still didn't want him to die. But he perished. That was when the Mistress decided she was done with "being nice".

She sought out any excuse to beat us, and slash us using her Gift, but what she didn't count on was the fact that Rashōmon was *alive* and had morals of its own. One day, she was whipping me, I think I didn't scrub the floor well enough, but Rashōmon just... wrapped around her wrist and stopped her. That was when I learned that it was alive.

Tachihara once made the joke of me being vulnerable when naked, but the truth is, Rashōmon is a part of *me* not just my clothing. I just can't use the Ability with no cloth. However, Rashōmon does take a while to transfer from cloth to nothing, so if I have Rashōmon in my coat and take it off, it takes a few moments before I can use it on my shirt. Thats what happens when we use Kokko Zessō, I make sure that Rashōmon stays with you, Weretiger.

The Mistress was so angry at Rashōmon for refusing to hurt me, that she stripped naked then and there, so that Rashōmon was still in her kimono. From there, she cast it into a fire. That's the thing with Living Abilities- they feel pain just like us. And it's screams were horrible to hear. She just watched it burn, and left. That... was how I developed a bond with it. I saved a scrap of the burning cloth and managed to douse the flames. It was such a relief to see the beast's tiny head rise from the cloth, and I assured Rashōmon that it would be okay. It reformed back on the Mistress later, but something had obviously changed.

The beatings were mine to take, but clearly the Mistress had enough. She decided that I'd never be perfect, no matter how many beatings I took, so she decided she'd take away the one thing that mattered most to me: Gin.

She'd grabbed a kitchen knife, and went to stab my sister, but Rashōmon made her sleeve so tight that her wrist broke. After she dropped the knife, I grabbed it. One stab to the chest was all it took; I was furious, I wanted her to suffer, but I also wanted to be *better* than her. She laughed at me, even when she was dying, calling me weak and pathetic. My weakness in that moment died, and I finally spoke, words I'd never needed to use before, but it was fitting now.

"*Rashōmon: Jaws of Endless Gates!!*"

There was nothing left of her. I thought Gin would think I was a monster, but even she had a moment and spat on the bitch's remains. Rashōmon had purred, calming us both down. That was the day I became Gifted.

****

"After that, we stole everything we could and ended up living in the slums." Akutagawa was sat, holding his knees to his chest, and he saw that Atsushi had no expression on his face, "I'm sorry if I look more like a monster to you now, I and my Little Beast."

"No, you don't. You look like a caring brother who just couldn’t handle any more abuse." Atsushi held out his hand, summoning his Tiger's claws, "Besides, I can't judge. If I knew what I was capable of when I was younger, I probably would have killed the Headmaster myself, and I admit that I don't regret killing Shibuzawa. Both times, I didn't actually feel bad."

Taking a life was never easy, not even for the Port Mafia. Assassin's, mercenaries and usurpers, but still human. Sure, one can become distant and indifferent, but at some point, stomachs turn and you can't handle it. Even the Agency carried guns, but actually shooting someone was a different story. Shooting, slashing, hurting in general, everyone is physically capable, but not mentally.

Atsushi shivered as he realised that the sun had set, and the moon had begun rising, though he felt... calmer. Byakko was calm, this forest was peaceful. Maybe being able to run around, stretch its legs would do him the world of good? It didn't take long for it to become a reality.

White fur, bright yellow eyes, and giant claws formed, with a mouth filled with razor sharp fangs. But Byakko didn't growl or roar, it... sniffed.

The fearsome, supposedly man eating Tiger, was holding its head down, sniffing the ground like a puppy! It prowled, smelling the air, scratching trees, before breaking off into a run, climbing aforementioned trees or rolling around on the soft grass.

Akutagawa watched with a stunned expression, he couldn't help but take some photos and videos, completely awestruck. Atsushi was likely buried deep inside, and Byakko was the one completely in control. He briefly imagined that this must be what it's like for Chuuya using Corruption, having to let Arahabaki take the wheel as it were.

Hours were spent like this: Byakko explored the forest, not hunting since the only pray were the birds, plus because Atsushi had eaten a lot, the Tiger didn't feel the need to eat. Akutagawa went between watching, filming, taking pictures and reading his book.

He'd gotten a little *too* relaxed, he realised, when Rashōmon suddenly hissed- the Tiger had strolled up to them, though it seemed calm. Akutagawa trusted Rashōmon to protect him, as he held his hand out. Byakko seemed to recognise Akutagawa as someone that it's User cared about, and placed its head in Akutagawa's hand, letting out a soft purr.

*Incredible...* Akutagawa thought to himself as he pet the Tiger, feeling the soft rumbling of its chest. Byakko eventually laid down beside Akutagawa, falling asleep. It was really late, at least for them, it was about 3am now. Akutagawa didn't know how well this would turn out, but he laid beside the Tiger, pulling a blanket over himself and letting sleep consume him.

*****

Atsushi woke up the next morning feeling *warm*. He was still a little sleepy, but he became aware that he was wrapped in a blanket and... being held? But the only one with him was-

His eyes snapped open as he registered the fact that he was with Akutagawa last night. And right now, Akutagawa was asleep, *holding Atsushi in his arms*!! Atsushi tried to stay calm, and to not panic, trying to think about how to explain all this, when he felt his chest rumbling. Oh, did the Tiger decide to betray him?!

No, apparently not. Akutagawa's arms held him a little tighter, keeping Atsushi warm and secure. It was nice, *really* nice. He found himself yawning, and snuggling into Akutagawa's embrace completely.

Maybe five more minutes wouldn't hurt?

#bungou stray dogs #the case study of vanitas #vanitas no carte #bsd #bungo stray dogs #vnc #a guide to tainted sorrow #soukoku #shin soukoku #atsushi nakajima #akutagawa ryuunosuke #bsd skk #bsd sskk #skk #sskk #ranpo edogawa #kunikida doppo #chuuya nakahara #dazai osamu

41 notes · View notes